Le Straw 98,000 37
05/25/2006 09:16 AM

Please don't quit smoking - I work at Phillip Morris. Unless you smoke RJR stuff, in which case I applaud your worthy efforts!

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 09:20 AM

I smoked (see past tense!) Marlboro light 100's. I have to quit Straw, my lungs feel like theyre boxing a hungry Mike Tyson and I'm all out of ear.



heh.. get it? Air/ ear? Oh nevermind! Sheesh!

Chickens N Sweet Brown Rice 08 286,539 61
05/25/2006 09:23 AM

On the other hand, there's a hot new chick on the "C" page in the photo album.

Lupience has Irises. 26,981 11
05/25/2006 09:24 AM

You're so selfish, Chance. Don't you realise that the tobacco taxes support the schools? Pay for highway repairs? Build stadiums?



You need to smoke! For the children!

Phuc 237,919 21
05/25/2006 09:35 AM

I have to quit Straw, my lungs feel like theyre boxing a hungry Mike Tyson and I'm all out of ear.



Not to mention that you have a kid. And people with kids who smoke are just child-abusing drug addicts.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 09:40 AM

And people with kids who smoke



My kid is only 5, he is way too young to smoke. Give him a year or two.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/25/2006 09:42 AM

You damn college kids and your sentence structure.

Le Straw 98,000 37
05/25/2006 09:46 AM

No, I agree with Uncle Phuc. My parents smoked and it was frickin torture being their kid.



I'm only a temp at PM, so really, feel free to quit.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 09:47 AM

Yeah my mom smoked and I remember how the bitch could care less about blowing it in my face.



Atleast I was a considerate (oxy moran?) smoker.

Cry Havoc and Unleash the Corn Chips of War! 57,521 23
05/25/2006 10:06 AM

I've decided to never quit smoking.



What other chance am I going to get to give other people cancer?

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 10:18 AM

What other chance am I going to get to give other people cancer?



Oh man, thats a good point. Maybe I'll become a mad scientist.

Chickens N Sweet Brown Rice 08 286,539 61
05/25/2006 10:23 AM

I've actually decided to take up smoking recently.

Chit 178,781 15
05/25/2006 10:32 AM

Hang in there Chance.



Kittuns inspired me to quit after smoking 2 packs a day for more than 25 years. I stopped on 04-18-06 and it has been fairly easy.



*Besides thinking about it every Frost-ing 30 minutes since then.

Le Straw 98,000 37
05/25/2006 10:38 AM

Besides thinking about it every Frost-ing 30 minutes since then.



Wait, you're a guy. That sentence is supposed to read:



Besides thinking about Frost-ing every 30 minutes since then.

Gorky is a mammal! 41,132 13
05/25/2006 10:43 AM

I've quit several times. If I worked with smokers, I'd still be smoking.



I'm a sheep.

I'm a follower.

These things make me a desirable man.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 10:45 AM

I have a full pack of cigs taped to the wall of my desk with a note that reads "Stop killing yourself". You know, for when I break down and want one.

Chit 178,781 15
05/25/2006 11:22 AM

Yea, I happen to have two full cartons in my house after a Costco run.







I can't remember ever having two full cartons in my life, but now that I've decided to stop, I'm the Frost-ing tobacco store.

Fratberry 283,018 53
05/25/2006 11:26 AM

One of the keys to stopping is to actually NOT buy any.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 11:29 AM

Oh is that how its done Frat? Heh, yeah I decided to quit 2 cigs into a pack. I figure this is going to be my last pack ever, so I'm saving it. If it works for me I plan on marketing this whole plan and becoming a cazillionaire.

Chit 178,781 15
05/25/2006 11:31 AM

I figure if I can quit with a supply at home, I should be ok.





It's not like I don't know where to get them any longer.







So far so good.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/25/2006 11:31 AM

When I was about 16, I bought a totally awesome "Tomorrow Never Dies" Zippo. Did I mention it was totally awesome?



Anyway, I had a lot of fun lighting cigarettes with it. Of course, I didn't smoke, so I just threw the cigarettes away after lighting them.



I particularly enjoyed doing it in front of the poor kids who couldn't afford to buy cigarettes.

Chit 178,781 15
05/25/2006 11:33 AM

Plus it's tough to toss out $80 worth of anything for me.









(with the exception of dead hookers)

Le Mailman sonne toujours deux fois 176,450 56
05/25/2006 11:35 AM

I've quit several times.



I once quit smoking twice in the same week!

Loopy 6,902 12
05/25/2006 11:36 AM

Yesterday was my 1 year anniversary for not smoking. I still want one every once and a while. It's an up hill battle. Just take it day by daBLAM!

turdtell - ten 42,578 26
05/25/2006 11:38 AM

Chance, if you could only think of something to keep your mouth busy with now.....

Fratberry 283,018 53
05/25/2006 11:40 AM

Plus it's tough to toss out $80 worth of anything for me.



See, this is why you smoke them all before you quit. You'd never throw away money and if you never smoke them its like your doing them a disservice. Plus, even though you know where to buy smokes you just have to be too lazy to pick them up or ask a clerk for them. Quit for a while and you'll gain enough weight to make you lazy enough to smoke anymore.

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,807 10
05/25/2006 11:41 AM

I grew up around smoking. My mom, my dad, grandparents, friends...everyone.



I used to joke with my Mom that when I moved out I was going to have to beg strangers to blow smoke in my face so I could get my second hand smoke fix.

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,807 10
05/25/2006 11:43 AM

Oh, and I'm way better then you for never smoking to begin with. Additions are nasty vile things.



Now, you will have to excuse me for a while as I hook this IV full of vanilla latte up to my arm.

Cry Havoc and Unleash the Corn Chips of War! 57,521 23
05/25/2006 11:50 AM

Chance, if you could only think of something to keep your mouth busy with now.....



For people that quit smoking, it's usually call food.

turdtell - ten 42,578 26
05/25/2006 11:54 AM

you see what I did there though...I alluded to a sexual reference. Next time I will consider the slow people in my attempt at humor.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 12:12 PM

Thats why I am also changing my eating habits. I dont want to turn into a nasty stuffed buffalo just because I stopped smelling like one.

Cry Havoc and Unleash the Corn Chips of War! 57,521 23
05/25/2006 12:16 PM

If, by 'slow people', you mean 'people who overlook yet another tired, blatant example of sexual humour and instead choose to subvert that into a joke of their own which, whilst also quite possibly tired, doesn't make GAB seem like an AOL chat room', then yes, yes you should.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 12:36 PM

Hey, these Frost-ing nachos taste bitter.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
05/25/2006 01:01 PM

What other chance am I going to get to give other people cancer?



I thought you were doing just fine with your caustic personality.



But that's me....

Phuc 237,919 21
05/25/2006 01:03 PM

I started smoking when I was a 15 year old CIT at summer camp.



We were loading up the canoes for the river trip, and Boojee, our counselor, "rations" a carton a camper for the trip. He just handed out a free carton of cigarettes to every kid.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 01:05 PM

Heh.



Since our beginning in 1948, we have been committed to providing memorable camping experiences that

build healthy bodies, open minds, and rekindled spirits for all.



Sounds like someone didnt read the mission rules.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/25/2006 01:08 PM

So three years later, I decide that this is more retarded than shooting heroin. I mean, you get all the crippling addiction but none of the great euphoria. And back then, we didn't even have the satisfaction of knowing we were giving cancer to everyone around us.



I bought three packs of Djarums. In case you don't know, these are Indonesian clove cigarettes. They're class B, which means they're not regulated--made by homeless people who are paid the equivalent of a buck a day, and bulked up with floor sweepings, lizard Shakespeare, and underwear lint from underpaid homeless people. These things are to cigarettes what a steaming mug of dogShakespeare is to a fine single malt scotch.



So I started smoking these lung darts, inhaling heavily and lighting one with the ember of the last. After a pack or so, I hurled.



Then--and here's how to make it stick--as soon as I could breathe again, I repeated the whole process.



Best worst day I've ever had in my life.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/25/2006 01:08 PM

Oh yeah, that's how I quit.



That wasn't just for fun.

Le Straw 98,000 37
05/25/2006 01:09 PM

Oh no. YOu just had to say "CIT" didn't you?



We are the CITs, so pity us!

The kids are brats, the food is hidious!

We're gonna smoke and drink and fool around!

We are the North Star CITs!

Loopy 6,902 12
05/25/2006 01:13 PM

I started smoking when I was a 15 year old



Ha! I was 12 sucka.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/25/2006 01:14 PM

Ha! I was 12 sucka.



Uhhhhh... you, ummmm, win?

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 01:15 PM

Well, I bet hes happy that he lost the contest "whos parents cared the least".

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
05/25/2006 05:19 PM

"and now its your turn to tell me why I am going to fail."



Do, or do not.



There is no try.

Chance 171,275 14
05/25/2006 07:25 PM

Yes thats why I said I quit, not I'm trying to quit.



I'm pretty good at telling myself what to do.

Blueberry Pan-cake 2,382 8
05/25/2006 08:06 PM

"My Mommy says smoking is bad for you"

"Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?"

"No."

"A scientific researcher of some kind?"

"No."

"Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?"



-Thank you for Smoking



Just the movie you all need to see about now.

Jane has a secret to tell from her electrical well 173,958 15
05/25/2006 09:16 PM

You could just get pregnant, Chance. Then, if you're a good mother, you have no choice but to quit. It's not hard at all to quit when you know it's for the health of your child. Nope. Not hard at all.





**runs to the store to buy 13 more packs of gum, weeping like a little child**

DeeLaLa 95 8
05/25/2006 09:41 PM

No one likes a quitter!

In the garage, Jane feels safe 173,958 15
05/25/2006 09:55 PM

That's right, Dee. And no one quits a liker.

DeeLaLa 95 8
05/25/2006 09:59 PM

and everyone likes a licker

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
05/25/2006 11:40 PM

taped to the wall of my desk



The lack of nicotine is starting to make you talk crazy.

Madmatthew 366 9
05/26/2006 12:11 AM

Possibly the most boring person in the world, I started when I was 18, when I was legally able.



This is a fact im actually ashamed of.



I still smoke, but it makes me sick most of the time. Yet I still do it. My dedication is that strong. You should all be so lucky to have as much passion, resilience, and dedication in your lives.



Frost-ing Quitters.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
05/26/2006 09:07 AM

<action> lights up a cig and blows smoke in Chances face</action>

Chance 171,275 14
05/26/2006 09:16 AM

What a tease.

Cry Havoc and Unleash the Corn Chips of War! 57,521 23
05/26/2006 09:25 AM

<action>scoops some cancer fom his lungs. Throws it at Chance.</action>

The Tchouk of Wybourne 45,655 12
05/26/2006 09:29 AM

...Additions are nasty vile things...



They're nothing compared to multiplications or, God forbid, divisions!

The Tchouk of Wybourne 45,655 12
05/26/2006 09:33 AM

I've tried cigarettes, but they make my mouth feel like a public toilet in the Bronx.



A hookah, however... I can smoke a hookah all night long, yo.

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
05/26/2006 09:35 AM

Chance - I'm trying to quit too. Bubble gum is your friend. Not minty breath gum, like Hubba Bubba or Bubblicious.

Chance 171,275 14
05/26/2006 02:12 PM

I'm on day 3. This thread shall be like my little non-smoking journal.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
05/26/2006 03:16 PM

You still smoke Coleridge though, right?

Flap-Jack Kittuns 44,835 9
05/26/2006 05:19 PM

I wish I would have read this thread earlier as I didn't want to read through all the dribble (I didn't read any of it).



I'm fast approaching my three-month quit smoking anniversary. I swear by the lozenges, they are far more awesome than the gum.



Everyday is easier than the last, and yesterday I hit a milestone: I coughed. The wonderous thing? It wasn't a smokers cough anymore. I almost cried.



Kittuns Quit Smoking Tip of the Day: When you feel like having a smoke, go down to your local soup kitchen or local Shakespearehole bar at noon on a Tuesday and check out all the healthy, attractive people who are smoking there.