UnderHaggis 101,398 77
06/01/2006 08:10 PM

After thinking it over, I think I'd have a better shot at getting knocked up if it read "Who's On Me" instead of "Who's Online."

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,453 11
06/01/2006 08:13 PM

According to the "Who's Online" list on my screen, UnderWhere?, you're fashionable.

Spicey McHaggis 117,779 37
06/01/2006 08:14 PM

She sure is, Jade. She sure is.

UnderHaggis 101,398 77
06/01/2006 08:15 PM

What the Frost does that mean? If you think I'm fashionable, come wear my cooter as a hat.

UnderHaggis 101,398 77
06/01/2006 08:15 PM

Um, that was to teh Haggis, not Jade.

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,453 11
06/01/2006 08:20 PM

Now, now. No wonder you're not getting pregnant if Spicey's using your cooter as a hat, Undies. That's entirely the wrong way to go about procreating.



Unless you're talking about him using it as a hat for his little head.... OH! *gets it*

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
06/01/2006 08:25 PM

Undies, if you want a surefire way to get pregnant, here it is: Get drunk off of cheap beer and then Frost Spicey behind a shed. Make sure he wears a condom. This worked for like, 95% of the girls I went to high school with.

Le Straw 98,000 37
06/01/2006 08:26 PM

Glad you cleared that up, Jade. I honestly pictured her sitting naked on top of his head.

newwave 45,912 10
06/01/2006 09:45 PM

Don't be ridickalous, cousin Straw.

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,453 11
06/01/2006 09:49 PM

<action>scrubs her brain with a wire brush and bleaches her eyes</action>

Oh Frost, oh Frost, ewwwww. Newwave, you bastard.



*is traumatised*



I've heard of flexible fannies, but that's taking it a bit too far.

Le Mailman sonne toujours deux fois 176,450 56
06/01/2006 10:02 PM

The last person on the "Who's Online" list is "The giver of life: Spicey McHaggis."



Well, Underwhere, perhaps the problem so far wasn't Spicey not giving life, as much as it was you not holding it in.

Le Mailman sonne toujours deux fois 176,450 56
06/01/2006 10:03 PM

You're gonna slap me in the face now, aren't you?

Trae: Exploding Colons, aisle 5 156,790 17
06/01/2006 10:11 PM

I don't know what the hype is on getting prego. Sure, it's fun trying but you pay for it for the rest of your life.

Ninja, Robot, Pirate, Snork 45,655 12
06/01/2006 10:15 PM

0)Get tired of paying for children

1)Sell children on black market.

2)Profit.

Trae: Exploding Colons, aisle 5 156,790 17
06/01/2006 10:16 PM

STFU n00b

Ninja, Robot, Pirate, Snork 45,655 12
06/01/2006 10:17 PM

Yes ma'am.

Elf the dog cop 256 7
06/01/2006 11:45 PM

Undies, I had a IUD placed in me on Wednesday. My doctor said the pain I felt was like a really strong contraction. I admit it, I passed slam the Frost out during the procedure. I think the whole idea of the IUD is to make you so goddamn sore that if the male gets within a 3 foot radius of your cooter, you cut off his dick and make a jaunty hat out of it for your chihuahua.

pendy 987 8
06/02/2006 12:57 AM

Pay no attention to the who's online thing. Last time I checked, it said last "and the always funny: pendy."





It lies, it always lies....





</tear>

Cry Havoc and Unleash the Corn Chips of War! 57,521 23
06/02/2006 05:28 AM

I don't know what the hype is on getting prego. Sure, it's fun trying but you pay for it for the rest of your life.



Two words Trae:



Biological. Imperative.



Thankfully not all of us suffer from this condition...

Ollie Ollie Go Go Pop 203,475 12
06/02/2006 02:41 PM

I know how you can get pregnant. Stop letting Spicey Frost you in the ass. Butt babies aren't the same thing as real babies.

Fratberry 283,018 53
06/02/2006 02:44 PM

Also, talking to each other face to face in the same room instead of talking to each other on your computers might help.

Pumpkin Noggin 56,642 8
06/02/2006 02:45 PM

Ollie Ollie Go Go Pop

6/02/2006 2:41 pm



I know how you can get pregnant. Stop letting Spicey cuddle you in the ass. Butt babies aren't the same thing as real babies.





They're not? So what have I been putting diapers on for the last 9 months? Shakespeare!

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
06/02/2006 02:46 PM

So what have I been putting diapers on for the last 9 months? Shakespeare!



Exactly.

Pumpkin Noggin 56,642 8
06/02/2006 02:49 PM

Thanks for clarifying that, Taco! Whew, that'll save a bit o'dosh at the shops! Those diapies are expensive!

Declan McManus as Walter Bridge 131,887 36
06/02/2006 11:17 PM

Undies and Spicey want to get pregnant.





Janey and Donk didn't want to get pregnant.





I guess Undies and Janey have to swap men.





Shouldn't be that difficult, since the same Phuc er officiated at both ceremonies.

Millie 116,988 28
06/03/2006 02:57 AM

I know how you can get pregnant. Stop letting Spicey Frost you in the ass. Butt babies aren't the same thing as real babies.



I already told her that a few days ago, but she won't listen!



He needs to save the sperm for baby-making. Sex is now work for Spicey and Undies; they have to work to make a baby. NO MORE FUN SEX!

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
06/03/2006 03:55 AM

If you have sex too soon after you ovulate the embryo can become unviable before it reaches an implantion site. You may be actually fertilizing an egg, just not at the right time, therefore not getting pregnant. Wait a little bit (day or two) after you ovulate to try.

UnderHaggis 101,398 77
06/03/2006 10:21 AM

Taco, that makes no sense at all. An egg can only live up to 24 hours after it is released, most are around for only 12 hours or so. If we waited 2 days after I ovulated to have sex, I would never get pregnant.



Of course, I'm not getting pregnant now either...

UnderHaggis 101,398 77
06/03/2006 10:34 AM

I guess Undies and Janey have to swap men.



Um, no. If Spicey and I can't get pregnant, we'll adopt. We plan on getting certified to do foster care after we move next summer regardless. My other children were adopted, and to me it's not really important how teh Haggis and I start our family - it's just important that we have one.



Anyway:



Donk - likes butt rock.



Panties - likes having her butt rocked.



Big difference.

brewtaltiy 9 6
06/03/2006 10:47 AM

Toss science out the window. The most sure fire way to get a woman pregnant is the old-fashioned way, do it in the back of your parents car, at least it always worked in high school.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
06/03/2006 11:09 AM

Or behind a shed.

brewtaltiy 9 6
06/03/2006 11:19 AM

You could try under the bleachers too.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
06/03/2006 11:21 AM

<action>walks away slowly, shaking his head</action>

KittensAreTasty 45 7
06/03/2006 11:35 AM

Toss science out the window. The most sure fire way to get a woman pregnant is the old-fashioned way, do it in the back of your parents car, at least it always worked in high school.



You know, I think there's some truth to that. I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant, but wouldn't you know the only time my husband and I had sex in a car (about seven and a half months ago) I got knocked up. Go figure.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
06/03/2006 11:42 AM

Apparently Kittuns is tasty.





And this thread makes me want to puke. Ovulation and all.

GollyJee 520 7
06/03/2006 11:48 AM

I once new this skank who's kid was born with a condom sticking to his head. She lied and told everybody it was skull cap.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
06/03/2006 04:56 PM

If you have sex too soon after you ovulate the embryo can become unviable before it reaches an implantion site. You may be actually fertilizing an egg, just not at the right time, therefore not getting pregnant. Wait a little bit (day or two) after you ovulate to try.



Taco, that makes no sense at all. An egg can only live up to 24 hours after it is released, most are around for only 12 hours or so. If we waited 2 days after I ovulated to have sex, I would never get pregnant.



Not only are you right, I don't remember posting that at all. What the hell was I doing last night?!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
06/03/2006 05:01 PM

What the hell was I doing last night?!



You got drunk and promised me angry sex behind the shed.