Lupience has Peonies. 26,981 11
06/07/2006 08:21 AM

"I'm allergic to mascara"-Tammy Faye Baker

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
06/07/2006 08:24 AM

"Matt Daemon" - Matt Daemon

Chit 178,781 15
06/07/2006 08:37 AM

I caught John pranking my monkey.



He tried to tell me he was just blowing Bubbles.



--Michael Jackson

REAPER-FU 12,363 11
06/07/2006 08:45 AM

BEST book I have read in my entire life::: Jeff Hargrave



























I got all my ideas from my message board:::: John Hargave

Midgets with widgets 96,092 48
06/07/2006 11:00 AM

I'd let John prank my monkey any day.---Richard Simmons





A great read, Mr. Hargrave deserves a cigar.---Bill Clinton

Bankey 70,843 10
06/07/2006 11:02 AM

"Jesus Christ it smells like fresh vagina in here" - Elizabeth Dole

CCCCCCCCC 286,539 61
06/07/2006 11:04 AM

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" - Juggernaut

the bean machine 303 7
06/07/2006 11:11 AM

It's muey bueno!!--- Jesus Figeroua Garcia Hernandez Del La Fuentes (Mexico Soccer team Goalie)

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
06/07/2006 11:14 AM

"So what if it's funny? They'll never make a movie out of it!" - Dan Brown



"I almost died laughing!" - Terri Schiavo



"Sorry, I'm not allowed to read anything funny, my plastic surgeon says it would gonna crack my facelift open." - Faye Dunaway

Bendy Straw 98,000 37
06/07/2006 11:14 AM

"John has the bitchinest guest house, man! Oh, the book? Uh yeah, it's bitchin! Dude, does this mean I can crash for another couple of weeks? Sweet!" - Kato Kaelin

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
06/07/2006 11:14 AM

"Two thumbs up!" - Yur Hass



"I don't get it." - Jilly.

FamousMortimer 1,187 8
06/07/2006 12:06 PM

"Old enough to pee, old enough for me!" - Jesus

Dr. Penguin of the Arctic Alliance of Evil 395 8
06/07/2006 12:19 PM

"You see, the kids get tha braain daamage cus they listen to the rap music their hippin and ther hoppin and the bippin and tha boppin, they don't know what the jazzz... Is all about!!"



--Bill Cosby

Ninja, Robot, Pirate, Snork 45,655 12
06/07/2006 12:22 PM

"It almost made me less of an emo fag." - Emo fag



"Totally." - F. Nietzsche

Bankey 70,843 10
06/07/2006 12:29 PM

"It was a true pleasure to play an integral roll in the development of this book." -- Al Gore

UnderWhere? - I'm touching myself right now 101,398 77
06/07/2006 12:36 PM

"Book exceeds your moral tolerance."

Midgets with widgets 96,092 48
06/07/2006 01:12 PM

After reading this book all I can say is I LOVE AMERICA.---Osama BinLaden

CCCCCCCCC 286,539 61
06/07/2006 01:27 PM

I wrote most of it, no matter what my brother says. - Jeff Hargrave

GollyJee 520 7
06/07/2006 01:34 PM

"There's an old...saying in Tennessee...I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says Fool me once...(3 second pause)... Shame on...(4 second pause)...Shame on you....(6 second pause)...Fool me...Can't get fooled again...oh, what's the title of the book again?"

-George W. Bush

FamousMortimer 1,187 8
06/07/2006 01:35 PM

"If its gonna be that kind of party I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!" - Hillary Clinton

FamousMortimer 1,187 8
06/07/2006 01:37 PM

"There's an old...saying in Tennessee...I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says Fool me once...(3 second pause)... Shame on...(4 second pause)...Shame on you....(6 second pause)...Fool me...Can't get fooled again...oh, what's the title of the book again?"

-George W. Bush



Uh, that is a real quote. Unfortunately.

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
06/07/2006 01:40 PM

"I hope you all have a sunshine and rainbow filled day, I love you all"



BIG

Midgets with widgets 96,092 48
06/07/2006 01:47 PM

I'm about Frost-ing sick of all these crackas writing books and expecting me to plug em. Emersons.---Oprah

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
06/07/2006 04:45 PM

A Million Little Pranks



"Yes everything in the book actually happened" - John Hargrave







Several weeks later



"Well not everything. I may have added on to some stuff, just to give it a little extra" - John Hargrave

newwave 45,912 10
06/07/2006 06:28 PM

I'm about Frost-ing sick of all these crackas writing books and expecting me to plug em. Emersons.---Oprah



Oprah plugging Emersons? Sounds like it could be an instant best-seller, at least, around this crowd.

Pumpkin Noggin (now with more squash) 56,642 8
06/08/2006 01:09 PM

I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I cried...."-Virgina Wolf

Chance has no chance with Slinky. 28,185 10
07/17/2006 12:38 AM

I was sent a book but lost it with Mariah Careys talent. - Abe Vigoda

Lostyy 0 0
07/17/2006 03:55 AM

Did the Twin Towers get blown up or on - Pamela Anderson





Sorry John I dont have my wallet on me can I pay you next week - Alan Abel

Declan McManus as Walter Bridge 131,887 36
07/17/2006 01:17 PM

.............Teller

Declan McManus as Walter Bridge 131,887 36
07/17/2006 01:20 PM

"It's a GoodBLAM Why the Frost would I plug a product that won't put another cent into my already overstuffed pockets?"



......Martha Stewart

Mr Fook 4,016 9
07/17/2006 01:25 PM

"This is Bob Johnson and I approve of this awesome" - Bob

MIdgets 96,092 48
07/17/2006 01:32 PM

The damn things done, now shut up about it------Zlarth(Johns great-great grandson)

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/17/2006 01:34 PM

"I vass wrong. E actually equals MC Hammer.



Vat vere ve talking about?"



-Senile Zombie Einstein-

lorum lipsum 38 6
07/17/2006 02:07 PM

awesome!- Jesus

Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie 173,958 15
07/17/2006 07:03 PM

Peace can only come as a natural consequence of universal enlightment. Or as a result of making the world's leaders read John Hargrave's book.

-Nikola Tesla

ThirstyMcsurly, best served on the rocks 4,444 12
07/17/2006 07:10 PM

"8=======D" - John Holmes

SAVIORA, Lord of the Knives 4,599 8
07/17/2006 07:52 PM

"Like, this single will totally change your life.



.......



.................What do you mean it's a book ? Shouldn't, like, Oprah be here?

-Paris Hilton

SAVIORA, Lord of the Knives 4,599 8
07/17/2006 07:53 PM

Note how she's so dumb, she can't close her own quotes.

TheSexualNinja 1,450 9
07/17/2006 09:12 PM

"Man, I am on FIRE!!!!" - Richard Pryor



"I see" - Hellen Keller



"One two three four, I like drowning whores" - Ted Kennedy

Livewire 78,229 13
07/18/2006 07:42 AM

If you liked Roget's Thesaurus, you'll love Prank the Monkey!



"Another winner! John Hargrave is this summer's hottest new star." -David Manning

Pramlewd to a kiss 80,728 42
07/18/2006 02:05 PM

Monkey spanking should be considered illegal, as it's not good to tan your primate with your hand if it is not necces-oh, PRANK the monkey...



-The Monkey