Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
06/14/2006 05:51 AM

1. Calculate how much extra fuel he's consuming with the increased heat.



2. Contact your local group of hippies environmental activists.



3. Have them stage a naked sit-in protest in his bedroom.



4. Alter the thermostat while he spends his time cleaning up hippy feces and granola crumbs.

Chit 178,781 15
06/14/2006 06:01 AM

Get him to agree upon a temperature that might be a few degrees hotter than what you would ideally hope for, but appear to give into his desire for warmer climate.



After a few days, go pull the cover off the thermostat and monkey with the fine tuning adjustment used to calibrate the control, setting it up a few degrees.



If he happens to comment about the agreed upon temperature still seeming cold to him, attack his masculinity with comments of him being menopausal.





Post about him being a big sissy on GAB.

Chit 178,781 15
06/14/2006 06:05 AM

Damn you Nachos...I like the way you think.







I couldn't get rid of an old roommate once so I took advantage of a noisy belt on my furnace and disabled it through the winter once in an attempt to drive her out.



It didn't work, but the heating bill was way lower that year.

witchrock 8 7
06/14/2006 06:24 AM

walk around the house naked. get a fan and point it away from him. preiodically bend over to fan your bum.

he'll either lower the thermostat or move. either way you win.

THESTALKER the nOOb that posteth too much. 742 0
06/14/2006 06:46 AM

Set the thermostat to your desired temp. and then stert carrying a 9mm. semi-automatic pistol around Coleridgeed in the full action mode! He'll agree.

jaggeh NOT JAGGY 860 8
06/14/2006 06:53 AM

<action>gives the captain some matches</action>Give a man a fire and hes warm for a day. SET a man on fire and hes warm for the rest of his life.

Chit 178,781 15
06/14/2006 07:45 AM

Give a man a fire and hes warm for a day. SET a man on fire and hes warm for the rest of his life.





And you can always use his head to stoke the bong with as well.

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
06/14/2006 07:49 AM

You guys are making this way to complicated.

All you gotta do is adjust the thermostat to your setting.



Take a huge photo of your genitalia and stick it over the thermostat.



(you may have to get the picture enlarged, wink wink, nudge nudge)



He'll never touch it again.'

Solved

All Trixxie, and a Crock of Dick Cheese 65,026 15
06/14/2006 08:08 AM

I'd make you walk around the apartment permanently nude.

Bonky 75,733 15
06/14/2006 08:57 AM

Reasoning with truly insane people is much more fun. You can offer them a cat sandwich while they think over your offer. Excuse yourself to go make sure the listening devices you've set up in his car are functioning properly, and apologize for the delay on your return from the restroom, the blood wouldn't come out....just .....wouldn't come out.

Sharribarri 14,124 11
06/14/2006 10:53 AM

Is there such a thing as reasoning with insane people? I have a sister whom I dearly love, but praise allah that we live in different states and usually see eachother for short periods of time.

A recent attempt for her to try and sway a decision of mine was quite amusing to me. I had to drop some perishible food items and a dog off at my other sister's house before meeting up with our dad. We were running late (both our faults) and She insisted we forego the errand and meet my dad first. I refused to leave the dog in the car for 2 or more hours in 80+ degree heat. We were headed to the ghetto and I wasn't about to leave the windows down in that neighborhood. She yelled at me and said I was being selfish for refusing to head directly to my dad's.



In her attempt to rationalize her thinking, she asked "Whats more important to you, the dog, the vegetables or dad?" (Well I love when we go here, she tries so hard to guilt me into her thinking) So I looked at her and very evenly said "The vegetables of course."



Of course this post wasn't about Capt. Dan, remember I am the selfish one, it is all about me.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
06/14/2006 10:57 AM

Simply adjust your body temperature to compensate for the temperature.



I realize this is difficult for the human species, members of which don't have a convenient thermostat located on their buttocks, but it's not impossible.



You can alter your body fat to compensate. The more fat you have, the warmer you will be, and vice versa. By my calculations, if you eat absolutely nothing today, work an office job for 8 hours, and then play 4 hours of intense squash, you will lose two pounds. Repeat this everyday until you are at the right temperature. If you get too cold or if you feel like you're starting to die, consider taking a day off from that office job to do nothing but eat butter.



Why argue with your roommate when you can easily solve the problem yourself?



Also, if you try to get all clever in your next post by arguing that you can't lose huge amounts of weight due to your skinnyness, I'll point out that that's probably because you drink light beer. Fag.

When Midgets attack 96,092 48
06/14/2006 11:07 AM

Capn Crunch Dan,





Untill you have to deal with children, ex-spouses, anally retentive employers, and the voices in my head you know nothing of insane people.



Thankyouhaveagoodday



















P.S. The voices said to cut out goatsee and place it around your thermostat.

Nurturing Vegetarian Eco-Feminist Chickens 286,539 61
06/14/2006 11:22 AM

Bob once more proves his superior alien genes make the rest of us look like sad little monkey boys.

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,807 10
06/14/2006 11:34 AM

There is a very simple solution that will GUARANTEE that your roommate will never, ever touch the thermostat again.





Smear Shakespeare all over the thermostat. I suggest dog Shakespeare, as cat Shakespeare tends to be a little harder to smear. There is, of course, an advantage to using your own Shakespeare as you are able to control the texture and consistency through diet (add corn for texture, hot sauce for smell, etc).



Sometime the simplest solutions are the most effective.

Dr. Penguin of the Arctic Alliance of Evil 395 8
06/14/2006 12:09 PM

If it's a manual thermostat, just change the numbers so it looks like he's setting the right temperature.



Or a much better idea would be to rig the thermostat to explode when a certain temperature is reached. it'll be like the movie "Speed" but with a thermostat instead of a bus.



yeah. try the second one.

the bean machine 303 7
06/14/2006 12:19 PM

<action>Gloats over figuring out how to do the almighty......action tag</action>



On yeah....and your roommate is a Poe. Tell him to suck it up and put on some clothes. He sounds like my damn wife. I'm cold, but I refuse to put on a jacket and/or pants. I would rather make you Frost-ing miserable.

Thud 68,497 19
06/14/2006 06:42 PM

Capt. Dan,

Stop by the local haircutters and get a bag of cut hair. Give it to your roommate and tell him that you have shaved your body in preparation for walking around nude. Insist that he keep the hair in case you need it again next winter. Write up a contract giving you visitation rights in regard to the hair.



If he doesn't get the hint from that, try strychnine.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
05/30/2010 11:27 AM

Kill him and make it look like an accident and like he's gay.