36. Fergie - not. This refers to the singer. The diet salesperson isn't hot either.

37. Emmanuelle Chriqui - hot.

38. Paris Hilton - I'd love to say not, but pathetically, I must say hot. I'd be lying if I said she didn't give me a boner.

39. Nadine Velazquez - hot.

40. Alicia Keys - hot.

41. Daniella Alonso - hot.

42. Sienna Miller - not.

43. Gabrielle Union - hot, smart and courageous.

44. Kelly Ripa - annoying and bony. So not hot she'll give you freezer burn.

45. Beyonce Knowles - not. Kelly Rowland is the hot one of Destiny's Children.

46. Rebecca Romijn - sadly, no longer hot.

47. Mila Kunis - not.

48. Nicollette Sheridan - ewwwww. Not.

49. Brittany Murphy - needs a bath. Not.

50. Sarah Silverman - hot. And probably the funniest woman alive.

51. Naomi Watts - hot. Smart. Talented.

52. Sara Foster - hot.

53. Moon Bloodgood - not. Nice name, though.

54. Heidi Klum - not any more.

55. Venessa Marcil - hot.

56. Jessica Biel - hot.

57. Autumn Reeser - not.

58. Joss Stone - not.

59. Jordana Brewster - not.

60. Shakira - hot.

61. Joanna Krupa - not.

62. Nicky Hilton - not.

63. Kelly Carlson - not.

64. Poppy Montgomery - hot.

65. Emilie de Ravin - hot.

66. Sarah Shahi - not.

67. Evangeline Lilly - not.

68. Cinthia Moura - not.

69. Kelly Clarkson - not. Hot or talented.

70. Leeann Tweeden - not.

71. Roselyn Sanchez - muy caliente!

72. Anna Kournikova - not. And I dig athletic chicks.

73. Teri Hatcher - was once hot. A long time ago.

74. Michele Merkin - hot.

75. Maggie Grace - not.

76. April Scott - not.

77. Ciara - not.

78. Bree - Andre? Not.

79. Halle Berry - not any more.

80. Rachel Nichols - not.

81. Penelope Cruz - hot.

82. Vanessa Simmons - are you Frost-ing kidding me? Not.

83. Rachel Perry - not.

84. Amerie - oh yes. Hot.

85. Carmen Electra - not. Plastic boobs suck.

86. Aubrey - O'Day? Not.

87. Jennifer Scholle - the tennis groupie? Not.

88. Tila Tequila - really icky. And what a stupid name.

89. Tami - Tami Donaldson? If so, not. But can we please stop with the one-name thing?

90. Chilli - hot. Great abs.

91. Kim Smith - hot.

92. Elisha Cuthbert - not.

93. Grace Park - the Korean-Canadian actress or the Korean-American golfer? Neither is really hot.

94. Brooke Burke - not.

95. Tricia Helfer - not.

96. Bridget Moynahan - homina homina hot.

97. FSU Cowgirls - not.

98. Yunjin Kim - not.

99. Jennifer Aniston - please. Wasn't hot 10 years ago, isn't hot now.

100. Natasha Bedingfield - not.

And here's a brief list of women I consider exceptionally hot, but Maxim left off the list:





Anne Curry

Melina Kanakaredes

Michelle Monaghan

Audrey Tatou

Parminder Nagra

Ming-Na

Catherine Keener

Catalina Sandino Moreno

Rebecca Lobo

Paz Vega

Juliette Binoche

Ziyi Zhang

Carrie Anne Moss

Camilla Belle

Nigella Lawson

and the Women of GAB! (well, most of you).

Could you repeat those?

Here's my condensed review.



75% of the list: who?

99% of the list: hot enough that I'd do her, but, what credit does that give her?

C'mon, newwave! Some of those women know what wing windows are.

Lupience: I'd do her.

Freak.

Round headlights? Let's chat about them.

I'm disappointed in your lack of knowledge of hot chicks, newwave. Perhaps my brother is right about you.

I'd give you my top 10, but it'd just make everyone think I'm more gay than I already am.

Lupe, the only Jeeps, El Caminos and women worth having are the ones with round headlights.

Fifer- Go. to. chat.

You are so wrong! I had a Plymouth Fury with round headlights.





And ElCaminos never could decide wether they wanted to be cars or trucks, but I respect their attempt- not like the Chevy Avalanche, that just looks like some demented platform tennis shoe.

Where was Maria Bello in all this "hot women" list making? Huh?

Maria Bello is not hot. Did you see A History of Violence?

No.

She was hot in 'Payback' and 'The Game'.





I don't get out much- did she shrivel?

Whistler, frankly, that's creepy.

Just yesterday I compiled a list of celebrities I'd sleep with.



Some of them come in twos.



Audrey Hepburn

Audrey Tautou

Ellen Degeneres

Ellen Pompeo

Sandra Bullock

Sandra Oh

Ok that's the twos done



Claudia Christian

Jeri Ryan

Kate Mulgrew

JODIE FOSTER

Julia Roberts

Roxanne Dawson

Jennifer Aniston

You left off:



Simone Lahbib

Mandana Jones

Lisa Mccune

Claire King

Nicole Kidman

Danielle King





Silly!

OMG, I can't believe I left of Simone, Mandana and Nicole.

Are the kiwi twins full-on lesbians now?





Because that would rule.

And what about:



Katharine Hepburn

Julie Andrews

Jane Allsop

Judy Baily (heh, heh)

Terri Crouch

Ellen Degeneres? Ellen Frost-ing Degeneres?!



You just killed Gab's libido.

Oh, how did I forget...



KATHRYN MORRIS!?!

Hey, Snork. If we're triplets, then you like her too. Ha. Ha.

The only dame on any of those lists I would switch for is Nigella Lawson.





And only after dinner.

Declan, my man, you do have good taste. Although, I had to run a quick Google search to see who the hell you were talking about.

I'm just wondering why Jodie Foster was in allcap.





I wonder about a lot of things at 3:44 am.

Because I want to have her babies.

Ellen Degeneres. Nigella Lawson.

Your point?

Hawt.

33. Natalie Portman - hot. And I've never even seen a Star Wars movie.



I'm guessing you saw her in Leon.

Scarlett Johansson is amazing. Sleep with her Neep.

I'm guessing you saw her in Leon.



I was thinking of her in Closer.



I saw Leon (which was called "The Professional" in the U.S.), but I hadn't remembered that it was her who played the girl. I'm sure Ollie thought she was hot in that.

Ah! Closer. That's the one. I just saw that a couple of days ago.



Add her to my list.



Ok, and Julia Roberts. Seriously, I wouldn't say no to her.



Steve, if you think SJ is so hot, sleep with her yourself.

Neep, you know you've ruined Steve for other girls.

...





Anyway... I was just in an msn convo with someone I thought was Steve. I said "<insert name of my small town> is full of old lesbians".



Uh, it wasn't him.

Whistler, Vlad agrees with about 85% of your assessment, however, Vlad has to take exception with Carrie Anne Moss. She has the jawline of Clint Eastwood, the nose of the Eagle from The Muppet Show and the gangly frame of Napoleon Dynamite.



Vlad wouldn't Frost her with Phuc's dick.

Whistler,

Without pictures, your post is meaningless.

Rebecca Lobo? She is so not hot.

Maria Bello was hot in 'Payback' and 'The Game'.



In order for her to be hot in 'The Game', shouldn't she have a part in the movie?

Rhona Mitra and Eliza Dukshu belong on that list. Also, Kim Delaney deserves an honorable mention.

All those women give me serious wide-ons.

I would do every women mentioned on this entire thread, but as I am a guy, that should surprise no one.



The real question is: Would they do me?

Oh, and the Kiwi lesbian twins?



Theat's a lurid fantasy double header!

Whatever, Jep, every time I think of the kiwi twins in that way, I'll now think of the kiwi twins... and Ellen Degeneres.



Ellen Frost-ing Degeneres.



My God it's like walking in on your naked grandparents.

In order for her to be hot in 'The Game', shouldn't she have a part in the movie?

Dammit! I get her confused with Deborah Unger- who I think is hotter.

Yeah, Maxim asked me if I wanted to be featured in their top 100. They said I was a strong 8, but I told them I was too busy and didn't have any time to schedule a photoshoot for their pissy ass magazine.

Yes, Whistler, Please redo your post and include a link on each one to the hottest picture of said hottie.



toot sweet.

First of all, Vlad, you are wrong. Carrie Anne Moss in The Matrix created more wood than the 84 Lumber Company. Did you see Chumscrubber? Miss Moss, at the age of 38, looked better in a bikini than most girls do at 21.

Crawl back in your coffin.



SharriB, you bring shame to all Connecticutters. Rebecca Lobo is an Amazon goddess. She's done more to advance womens' sports than anyone since Billie Jean King, and she's a latina. Plus I love a girl who knows how to handle balls.



Chickens - I'm working on it.

Amazing how Natalie Portman stands at a whopping 5'4", while Rachel McAdams earned the Hot Midget Award at 5'5". Then again, Ewma Turdman's mention negates all claims you may have had to sanity.





Pah. Short people do it better.

Short people do it closer to the ground.

Short people have heads closer to the crotch.

<action>gets in the lotus position</action>





I may be 5'2", but I can bend, and flex, and streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch.











No, I don't have pictures.

That's OK Saviora. The picture you just put in my head damn near gave me an anuerism. In the good way.

I was mixing up Rachel McAdams with Isla Fisher, who was the other chick in The Wedding Crashers, and who is listed by IMDb at 5'3". Both are hot.



I have no problem with midgets, by the way. My mother is a midget.

When Rachel McAdams has blonde hair (Mean Girls) she reminds me of Jeri Ryan.



Yummy.

7. Cameron Diaz - was once cute and perky, but never hot.





Yeah but she just has that certain something, I think it's her cheeky grin. Mmmmmmm Cameron Diaz. (not entirely safe).































Oooooops wrong folder

Isla Fisher is ours so hands off.

Home and away has never been the same.



In one episode she had relations with another woman. You go girl.

When Rachel McAdams has blonde hair (Mean Girls) she reminds me of Jeri Ryan.



Yummy.



*So* much hotter with dark hair.

Okay. At the special request of my good friend Chickens, here is the list with linkage.



An X before the number indicates that this is someone I have deemed NOT HOT.



All links are work safe. Well, at least there are no cooters or nips showing.



1. Eva Longoria

2. Jessica Alba

X3. Lindsay Lohan

X4. Angelina Jolie

5. Stacy Keibler

6. Scarlett Johansson

X7. Cameron Diaz

X8. Kate Bosworth

9. Keira Knightley

X10. Christina Milian

X11. Kristen Bell

12. Katherine Heigl

13. Kelly Monaco

X14. Rachel Bilson

X15. Vanessa Minnillo

X16. Christina Aguilera

17. Rachel McAdams

X18. Jessica Simpson

X19. Jamie-Lynn Sigler

20. Eva Green

X21. Mischa Barton

X22. Mariah Carey

X23. Kristin Cavallari

X24. Kate Moss

25. Charlize Theron

X26. Cindy Crawford

X27. Eva Mendez

X28. Mandy Moore

X29. Jennifer Love Hewitt

30. Uma Thurman

31. Emmanuelle Vaugier

32. Veronica Varekova

33. Natalie Portman

X34. Jamie Pressly

X35. Avril Lavigne

X36. Fergie

37. Emmanuelle Chriqui

38. Paris Hilton

39. Nadine Velazquez

40. Alicia Keys

41. Daniella Alonso

X42. Sienna Miller

43. Gabrielle Union

X44. Kelly Ripa

X45. Beyonce Knowles

X46. Rebecca Romijn

X47. Mila Kunis

X48. Nicollette Sheridan

X49. Brittany Murphy

50. Sarah Silverman

51. Naomi Watts

52. Sara Foster

X53. Moon Bloodgood

X54. Heidi Klum

55. Vanessa Marcil

56. Jessica Biel

X57. Autumn Reeser

X58. Joss Stone

X59. Jordana Brewster

60. Shakira

X61. Joanna Krupa (I might be reconsidering this one).

X62. Nicky Hilton

X63. Kelly Carlson

64. Poppy Montgomery

65. Emilie de Ravin

X66. Sarah Shahi

X67. Evangeline Lilly

X68. Cinthia Moura

X69. Kelly Clarkson

X70. Leeann Tweeden

71. Roselyn Sanchez

X72. Anna Kournikova

X73. Teri Hatcher

74. Michele Merkin

X75. Maggie Grace

X76. April Scott

X77. Ciara

X78. Bree Andre

X79. Halle Berry

X80. Rachel Nichols

81. Penelope Cruz

X82. Vanessa Simmons

X83. Rachel Perry

84. Amerie

X85. Carmen Electra

X86. Aubrey O'Day

X87. Jennifer Scholle

X88. Tila Tequila

X89. Tami Donaldson

90. Chilli

91. Kim Smith

X92. Elisha Cuthbert

X93. Grace Park - the Korean-Canadian actress or the Korean-American golfer?

X94. Brooke Burke

X95. Tricia Helfer

96. Bridget Moynahan

X97. FSU Cowgirls

X98. Yunjin Kim

X99. Jennifer Aniston

X100. Natasha Bedingfield

Anne Curry

Melina Kanakaredes

Michelle Monaghan

Audrey Tatou

Parminder Nagra

Ming-Na

Catherine Keener

Catalina Sandino Moreno

Rebecca Lobo

Paz Vega

Juliette Binoche

Ziyi Zhang

Carrie Anne Moss

Camilla Belle

Nigella Lawson

Kelly Rowland

And the sexy ladies of GAB!

That last bunch were my personal favorites who weren't on the list.





That took a lot of work, Chickens, so now you better show some love.

Having clicked on every single link (except for the last one)... all I can say is:



WTF? A lot of the women you linked to saying not hot... wow. Just wow.

Ok, I clicked the last one. How cute.

Hot is more than how they look in a picture. A great picture can make up for a lot, but not for, let's say, the horrendous damage to music and culture done by a Jessica Simpson.



The reverse of this is why I find some women hot that don't look so great in pictures, or are older than most people think of as hot.



Like you - you're pretty hot, but you went through that annoying phase a little while ago where you kept telling us stupid stories about school. Your hotness cooled considerably during that time. Thankfully, it seems to be over and you've heated up again.

Whistler, you have once again amazed me.



You can tell so much about a man by what motivates him ...







All I can add is, you can order for me any day.



In fact, it appears I can even feed well from just your discards.





Good work my friend.

The only two I need out of the 100!

1.Whistler

2.Whistler

Whistler, you think Carrie Anne Moss is hot, but not Elisha Cuthbert or Mandy Moore?



You've got issues.

Man! That one that Whistler posted a link to?



I'd ___________________ a ______________ of __________________ to _________________ her ________________.



Swear to god.

Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Rosario Dawson, and Kiera Knightley. At the same time.

You've got issues.



A. I was 35 when I found out who my real father was, and he was already dead.

B. My stepfather raised me with the aid of a 2x4, resulting in a pretty severe case of PTSD.

C. I spent my childhood preparing for a career as a rock star by studying the fife.

D. I spent 15 years as an active drug addict and alcoholic, beginning at the age of 14.

E. I currently spend my spare time GABbing on Zug.

F. I stayed up half the night looking for all those links and typing out the html code to post them.

G. Declan is my brother.





Issues?



Yeah. I guess so.

Short people do it closer to the ground.



Rogues do it from behind.



Philosophers do it deeper.



Am I doing this right?

Eliza Dukshu



Mrs. Bankey looks a LOT like her. Just sayin'.

Mrs. Bankey looks a lot like her.





You look like ElizBLAM

Ewma Turdman





You could have at least found a better pic; right now she looks like she's waiting for you to spray your load on the monitor.

Maxim forgot to list my top 4!

Well, this proves that Whistler is both gay and really, really bored.

I don't think he was gay at the time he started this thread.

I don't think any further proof of gayness is needed once you've touched another boy's winky.

Sorry. I wasn't meaning to bump an old thread. This was at the top of the page, because for some reason I logged out, and when I logged back in the default setting was "most viewed conversations of all time."

I would be surprised if this thread was really that. I suspect that it might just be the most viewed since the most recent ZuG overhaul.

Whistler, you have very odd ideas of what is hot and not. But I guess that's what makes the world go around.

I think you're hot. Is that odd?

I would be surprised if this thread was really that. I suspect that it might just be the most viewed since the most recent ZuG overhaul.

It's called "Maxim Hot 100" and it has almost 20,000 views.

Pigs.

I think you're hot. Is that odd?

Yes, I do think it's odd. You must think I'm a midget, too, because I'm about 5' 3". But, as I said, it's what makes the world go around.

I've heard that midgets often have anger problems.
Or is that dwarves?
Dwarfs?

please don't hit me.

Dwarfs. She's definitely more of a Grumpy than a Gimli.




Please don't hit me either.

If I were a dwarf, I'd be Smarmy.

If Neep was here, she would 5orbed my last post. What kind of internet is it when you can't get a Lord of the Rings geek in here to appreciate an obscure literary distinction?

I got the reference...

I just didn't find it amusing.

What kind of internet is it when you can't get a Lord of the Rings geek in here to appreciate an obscure literary distinction?

I almost used "dwarrow" in my post, but this place just ain't what it used to be.

I don't know who half those women are. They should wear nametags on their backs (and little else).

Beyonce is One Million Suns Hot...Ask Kanye West, he'll tell ya...

If Neep was here, she would 5orbed my last post. What kind of internet is it when you can't get a Lord of the Rings geek in here to appreciate an obscure literary distinction?

I got it and 5 orbed it, although I don't know about Millie well enough to agree or disagree. You're saying I just need to worry about being hit and not getting chopped in half from a dwarven axe forged in the mines of Moria?

Could be worse. It could have been forged by the mimes of Moria.

To destroy it, you must throw it in their invisible volcano.

Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Rosario Dawson, Kiera Knightley, and Taco. At the same time.

With a reach around thrown in for Whistler for posting all those links.

Hurrumph, hurrumph...throw in Jessica Biels, Beyonce' and J-Lo for additional hurrumphs

I think Millie is odd. Is that hot?

Where Millie is concerned, everythings hot!

Where Pubah is concerned, everything is creepy & awkward.

Well Whistler, you got your creepy, homeless, but loveable negro back.

I'm glad to be of service

You also love to be servicing.

Not servicing you...

...Pubah likes his women smaller, cuter and with no facial hair.

Coochie hair is acceptable