Lo Stallone Italiano (BOTM) 10,702 8
06/27/2006 05:06 PM

Sell it to Trixxie, and tell him it's used to oped doors.

Lo Stallone Italiano (BOTM) 10,702 8
06/27/2006 05:06 PM

Sell it to Trixxie, and tell him it's used to open doors.

Lo Stallone Italiano (BOTM) 10,702 8
06/27/2006 05:07 PM

My bad about the double post, I was too eager to post about Cracks Coleridge.

Erika - Chuck Norris's abandoned daughter 76,152 9
06/27/2006 05:07 PM

Have sex with myself, just to spite the rest of your body that will never feel it.

SAVIORA, Lord of the Knives 4,599 8
06/27/2006 05:09 PM

Leave it at a garage sale so you'd have to buy it back.

Crackalaxative 68,758 11
06/27/2006 05:16 PM

Have sex with myself



I knew it! Lalalalalalalala I can't hear the rest! Lalalalalalalalalalal!

BobJohnson, Conqueror of Omicron Persei VIII 178,045 22
06/27/2006 05:19 PM

I would grate it and some parmeson cheese over my dinner, same as usual.

SHP - Your mom is on my top 8 181,795 70
06/27/2006 05:20 PM

Haha! BobJohnson would eat a hot steamy bowl of cheesy dick!

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
06/27/2006 05:20 PM

Put it on the end of my car anttena



or



Use it as a baseball bat.....wait no.....softball.

BobJohnson, Conqueror of Omicron Persei VIII 178,045 22
06/27/2006 05:23 PM

Lower human horn is an acquired taste.

Kittuns in a tube 44,835 9
06/27/2006 05:26 PM

Crackapenis Kabobs



INGREDIENTS:

wooden skewers

4 tablespoons honey

1 tablespoon honey mustard

1 teaspoon soy sauce

1 teaspoon Asian five-spice powder

1 Crackapenis, cut into 1/2-inch rounds

8 large shallots, peeled and halved lengthwise

1 red bell pepper, cut into 1 inch pieces

1 zucchini, cut into 1/2-inch rounds

1 large carrot, peeled and sliced into 1/4 inch thick rounds



DIRECTIONS:

Preheat an outdoor grill for medium-high heat. Soak eight wooden skewers in water to prevent burning when grilled.

Mix honey, mustard, soy sauce, and five spice powder together in a large bowl. Add Crackapenis, shallot, red pepper, zucchini, and carrot, and toss thoroughly to coat. Alternately thread Crackapenis, shallot, red pepper, zucchini, and carrot onto skewers.

Cook skewers on the prepared grill until Crackapenis is evenly brown and vegetables are tender.



A fun treat for the kids!

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
06/27/2006 05:27 PM

I would rub it on a piece of paper, to see how well it works as an eraser.

Crackalaxative 68,758 11
06/27/2006 05:37 PM

The more I think about it, the more I realize this might not have been my best idea for a thread.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
06/27/2006 05:42 PM

See? Now that you have lended your penis to someone, your brain is actually getting enough blood to think on its own.

Crackalaxative 68,758 11
06/27/2006 05:46 PM

Both you and Kittuns have GROSSLY overestimated the size of my penis.

Chit 178,781 15
06/27/2006 05:46 PM

I think I would just call up a few friends, pop up a bunch of popcorn, and gather round and listen to the stories it could tell.

Crackalaxative 68,758 11
06/27/2006 05:47 PM

I don't care what he says, she wasn't that big!

McPants with the daylight in his eyes 19,555 11
06/27/2006 06:00 PM

Heh. Do you really want to know?

Chickens N Sweet Brown Rice 08 286,539 61
06/27/2006 06:24 PM

two words: food processor

Kittuns in a tube 44,835 9
06/27/2006 06:31 PM

I'm going to Chickens house for dinner, he's grilling AND making Crackpate!

Lamburger 33,017 9
06/27/2006 07:50 PM

I would turn it into a decorative table centerpiece and sell it on ebay.

UnderWhere? - I'm touching myself right now 101,398 77
06/27/2006 08:10 PM

But who would bid on it other than Chance?



Meh. $20 if the centerpiece includes some of your fruity goodness, Lammie.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
06/27/2006 08:25 PM

I would skewer is so it doesn't curl and deep fry it in the chip fryer at KFC. There are a few bits of floating flour, the cooks were coating their hands (with 11 secret herbs and spices!) and dunking them into the fryer. It didn't end badly for them, but it will for your penis.

DinoExplosion 1,743 8
06/27/2006 09:36 PM

I would tell you to go Frost yourself, and then help you do it.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
06/27/2006 09:37 PM

Ohhh! BURN!1!

Thud 68,497 19
06/27/2006 10:40 PM

Make a RC submarine out of it.



Well, maybe a mini-sub.

Supergrover * now on pills 4,517 9
06/28/2006 03:08 AM

I would put a little red flag in the tip and hold a one person parade around town.

All Trixxie, and a Crock of Dick Cheese 65,026 15
06/28/2006 08:30 AM

Same thing I do every night, use it to try and take over the world.

Lupience- waiting for Lilies. 26,981 11
06/28/2006 08:40 AM

I would wave it in front of Lorena Bobbitt.

the bean machine taking the border by storm 303 7
06/28/2006 08:41 AM

Because I am hung like a tack, I would put it over mine so I could see what it feels like to have a normal sized penis.

Chance- This IS a Toy! 171,275 14
06/28/2006 08:49 AM

Two tacks dont = Normal

Pumpkin Noggin (Cucurbita Calvus) 56,642 8
06/28/2006 09:26 AM

Stick it in the washing machine, then through the industrial dishwasher. Come one, I don't know where that thing has been, so I'm not touching it until it's CLEAN.

THIS IS NOT A TOY! 86,705 14
06/28/2006 09:31 AM

1. Mousetrap bait

2. Digital camera

3. Profit!

THIS IS NOT A TOY! 86,705 14
06/28/2006 09:32 AM

STILL CAN'T LOG OUT!

Crackalaxative 68,758 11
06/28/2006 11:45 AM

Just as I suspected. There are a large number of people on gab who would just love to get their hands on my penis for one reason or another.

Pumpkin Noggin in a nice shade of off-white 56,642 8
06/28/2006 11:56 AM

Hands?! You never said we had to TOUCH it! Nope...never..not once....

Crackalaxative 68,758 11
06/28/2006 11:56 AM

You were gonna use your mouth to pick it up?

Dr. Penguin of the Arctic Alliance of Evil 395 8
06/28/2006 12:00 PM

I'd give it to John Hargrave to stick on a Ken doll.

Pumpkin Noggin in a nice shade of off-white 56,642 8
06/28/2006 12:23 PM

No, Cracka, I belive what we tell my kids: "NEVER put something in your mouth if it's smaller than your arm."

Tongs would be in order...and hazmat gloves.

Ziggy the Midgets 96,092 48
06/28/2006 12:38 PM

Actually the saying is "Don't put anything in your ear smaller than your arm"







Now get that penis out of your ear and give it back to the dog.

turtle10 42,578 26
06/28/2006 12:49 PM

I would store it in a little puch and wait until I was being chased by someone. If they got too close I would throw it at them. I mean, who would keep chasing you once they got hit in the face with a penis.









</stole from somewhere>

Mr Fook 4,016 9
06/28/2006 12:57 PM

Add it to my collection.

Pumpkin Noggin in Day-Glo Orange 56,642 8
06/28/2006 01:03 PM

Turtle, I belive you may have been thinking of this.

All Trixxie, and a Crock of Dick Cheese 65,026 15
06/28/2006 02:24 PM

"I mean, who would keep chasing you once they got hit in the face with a penis." *shyly raises hand*

Pubah Lives to Smack Chance on the Backside 56,805 18
06/28/2006 02:25 PM

Run it through a meat grinder and make you some chili.