Chance is mine for 4 more days 14,124 11
07/03/2006 10:50 AM

Here's my favorite! *God is great, he gave us chocolate cake.





* May not be appropriate for your use.

SAVIORA, Lord of the Chance 4,599 8
07/03/2006 10:51 AM

You do know what to do if at first you don't succeed, right?

Running with Scissors 3,510 12
07/03/2006 10:52 AM

Dear God:



Please give Golly Jee more sense next time.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/03/2006 10:55 AM

Ok, now I just don't know if you are just bullShakespeare-ing us here or if you actually are serious.

Chance is mine for 4 more days 14,124 11
07/03/2006 10:58 AM

Sorry, that was more along the lines of a "praise" how about this one:



The Jelly Bean Prayer



Red is for the blood He gave,

Green is for the grass He made,

Yellow is for the sun so bright,

Orange is for the edge of night.



Black is for the sins that were made

White is for the grace He gave,

Purple is for the hour of sorrow,

Pink is for the new tomorrow.



Give a bag full of jelly beans,

Colorful and sweet,

Tell them it's a Prayer....

It's a promise..

It's an Easter Treat!

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
07/03/2006 10:59 AM

Golly Gee...that sounds bad.





I was making a statement...I wasn't saying your name.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
07/03/2006 11:01 AM

Ok...if you are joking, you're an Emerson.



If you are serious, you're an Emerson.



Great way to teach a kid firework safety....



"Here...if at first it doesn't light, stand OVER it, and try to pull more wick out!!"



Not for nothing, but whenever I light fireworks off, I keep either a bucket of water or a hose nearby, to douse the "duds." I don't try to relight them.



Dork.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/03/2006 11:07 AM

well even if you actually did do it it still isn't as bad as if you were building your own pyro while smoking a cigarette.



Remember your safty, remember Great White.

GollyJee 520 7
07/03/2006 11:13 AM

Beside pulling out more wick from a dud, I have another cool trick. I can hold a firecracker in my hand withought blowing off my fingers - there's a technique to holding the thing right. My fingertips are permenantly blackened and I don't have feeling in them anymore (loss that back in '98) but that's the price you pay to be considered "cool" by all the neighborhood kids...not like all those other old people that preach firwork saftey and stuff...

Phuc Chance. That Bitch. 237,919 21
07/03/2006 11:18 AM

"Cool" like Steve-O is cool. You know that if you don't make MTV money so you can afford to have a surgeon remove the hot wheels out of your rectum, the only thing worse than the embarassment will be the shock of the medical bill.



And as for your makeover, move to Tennessee. You'll fit right in.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
07/03/2006 11:48 AM

After "No Fear", comes "OH Shakespeare!".

Chance is mine for 4 more days 14,124 11
07/03/2006 12:03 PM

<action>can't believe it took so long for this post</action>This thread is usless without photos.



SUYBF



<obligatory>

Antipope Captain Dan I 44,452 11
07/03/2006 12:15 PM

Two unrelated announcements:



1) Investigators recently completed a three-year study to assess the benefits of praying for patients. It turns out that that the prayed-for group didn't do any better than the non-prayed-for people. In fact, the people who knew they were being prayed for actually did a little worse.



Essentially, you can hurt people by praying for them.





2) We're all praying for your recovery, GollyJee.

Chance is mine for 4 more days 14,124 11
07/03/2006 12:30 PM

Captain Dan, will you marry me? We can live on love and humor, as I am almost out of saltines and peanut butter.



Also, I've always wanted a 'fro, so this way I can share yours.



Love and kisses, Sharribarri

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
07/03/2006 12:33 PM

After "GollyGee", comes "Whizz".

Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/03/2006 01:07 PM

Golly, you can in as a "Frost-ing n00b," haven't gotten any better, and are asking for well-wishes after you do something goddamn retarded that should have killed you?



I pray for your death to be swift and soon.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/04/2006 10:50 AM

By the way, are there any pictures from your little "fireworks dentistry" accident?

Potrzebie 1,790 9
07/04/2006 11:15 AM

If you are serious, you're an Emerson.



Great way to teach a kid firework safety....





I'd say! A bit extreme though. That kid will forever remember why not to approach fireworks that do not go off.

Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
07/04/2006 11:36 AM

Golly, you can in as a "Frost-ing n00b," haven't gotten any better, and are asking for well-wishes after you do something goddamn retarded that should have killed you?



I pray for your death to be swift and soon.



Taco - I find your comments to be somewhat harsh and out of place.



Are you really trying to send the freakshow business into decline through a lack of exhibits?

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/04/2006 11:48 AM

This is the worst superhero origin story EVER.







...

(Best wishes for a speedy recovery.)

ThirstyMcSurly 4,444 12
07/04/2006 11:51 AM

We've resorted to physical comedy...

Werehampsta Takes Chance Often 6,375 8
07/04/2006 11:54 AM

When I was little, I used to think that God needed prayers for sustenance, that we were created for the purpose of giving him glory, which he ate.

Whistler P. McManus, master fifer 186,122 44
07/05/2006 08:23 AM

So Hampsta, I still don't understand did you pray for God to eat away your penis, or did you blow it off with a firecracker?

Jesus Christ! It's cs! 15,189 12
07/05/2006 11:20 AM

Pictures please.

Chance Month Rules! 171,275 14
07/05/2006 12:16 PM

Gollygee, I have prayed and prayed that you would stop posting....He hasnt answered that prayer, but he did answer the one to disfigure you. So Im at a loss what to do.