Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/06/2006 09:22 PM

Now, I'll be the very first to tell you that I'm certainly no God's Gift to women or anything like that. Her amorous intentions surprised me quite a bit. At any rate, I am still safe for the moment. Now, I'm sure most of you would counsel me to drop her like a hot rock, to which, I'd ordinarily agree. However, the fact that I'd eat her faster than an Ethiopian with a Big Mac is clouding my judgement horrendously. The word 'desperation' doesn't even begin to cover my current condition.



So: should I just hit it and quit it, or should I remain ever the gentleman and stick to my quickly fading ethics? I am aware that I might very well have to permanently end the relationship though I'm lothe to do so; I don't have many friends, so I'd like to keep as many new ones as I can. So how about it? What shall I do? And, as an aside, are there any female GABbers out there willing to.... errr.... give me a hand?



Oh hell. Okay, that last part, I was joking around a little. But the rest....



Now, hit me with whatever you got!

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/06/2006 09:26 PM

Several years?





What the hell, man?!

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/06/2006 09:27 PM

Ohhhhhhhh.

Slinky has no chance with Chance. 28,185 10
07/06/2006 09:27 PM

I was joking around a little.



I'll bet you weren't joking when you said you hadn't gotten laid in a few years.



But Frost that bitch, she's a whore anyway to Frost some dude while she already has a man.

Slinky has no chance with Chance. 28,185 10
07/06/2006 09:28 PM

GOD DAMMIT SD!

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/06/2006 09:28 PM

Back with a vengance.

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/06/2006 09:38 PM

But yeah, herb. I'd Frost her, if I were you.







Which, actually, is probably one of the reasons I'm not you.

Chance Month Rules! 171,275 14
07/06/2006 09:40 PM

Sage, youre not a bad looking guy. Are you not getting laid by choice or are you gay?



Frost it. The least you could do is let us hide in the closet while youre banging her from behind and when we jump out, grab her hair and hold on for dear life.

Sarah (Once daily, by mouth.) 30,601 8
07/06/2006 09:45 PM

Bang her like you haven't been laid in several years.



I have a feeling you would do it like that...

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/06/2006 09:49 PM

or should I remain ever the gentleman



I wasn't sure if I should go with

What are you, a retard?

You must be new here.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/06/2006 09:50 PM

Not gay; not bi. Strictly strait. I had mentioned in an earlier thread that I haven't gotten Poe because I was in a freakin' hospital bed for several years, essentially doped to the gills, so even if I could have gotten it up then, I didn't care one way or the other. Now that I'm free to roam, I'm randy as all get-out.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/06/2006 09:52 PM

I wasn't sure if I should go with

What are you, a retard?

or

You must be new here.



I'm kinda new here??

DeeLaLa 95 8
07/06/2006 09:52 PM

Serious:

1.Frequent a local type bar enough that the regular bitches see you with a woman and think 'ooh he must be good at something because he has a woman'.

2.Make a couple of short visits alone (wifey at work).

3.Attract new bitches.

4.Hit wifey.

5.Replace wifey.



The genious part is 3-5 have an overlap period. Everyone wins!

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/06/2006 09:56 PM

Except your soul, heathen.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
07/06/2006 10:04 PM

However, the fact that I'd eat her faster than an Ethiopian with a Big Mac is clouding my judgement horrendously.



Why would you eat an Ethiopian with a Big Mac?

Chit 178,781 15
07/06/2006 10:05 PM

If it comes up again, do her on the condition that if she wants to continue this behavior, she will next time have to bring a note from her husband explaining their open relationship, and any psychotic symptoms she has that he cares to share with you.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/06/2006 10:08 PM

Why would you eat an Ethiopian with a Big Mac?



When I'm done I don't have to say "go make me a sammich bitch!"

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/06/2006 10:11 PM

What I'm wondering is how he's planning on eating an Ethiopian with a Big Mac.



I mean, all the stomach in those is ground up already.

clem9796 64 7
07/06/2006 10:14 PM

HA, this is ironic, I was thinking of posting something like this today but past tense.. I just got rid of a three year "on the side" thing on Sunday, she didn't tell me she had a boyfriend till after a couple months.

I know what you may be thinking.. Poe's Poe. But hitched Poe is like Chinese food, after an hour you're hungry again. I figured hey, be a pick up guy but we started spending more time together and just pretended everything was all good. Sex was fantastic and dirty as you want it to be. She was good at playing the perfect wife when we're out and Frost-ing like a college girl on uppers when we got home.

That's the nice thing of the feeling in the back of your mind that it's never going to go anywhere and you don't really have to respect her, you just have to pretend..



Still had to buy damn presents though.



So, in closing, my advice is such: Go Frost a prostitute instead. Even if you catch the itchies it's still cheaper in the long run.

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/06/2006 10:16 PM

That's not ironic, that's just a coincidence.

Chit 178,781 15
07/06/2006 10:24 PM

Don't forget, both blow jobs, and anal sex, aren't considered adultery.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/06/2006 10:33 PM

Chit, I knew I could count on you to show me the light.

Millie 116,988 28
07/07/2006 01:27 AM

Hey, you're not the one married, she is. You shouldn't feel guilty, you aren't cheating on anyone.



Pfft. It's her problem, not yours.

Fartpuppy 5,142 13
07/07/2006 01:57 AM

Frost her man! You never know, it might be another couple of years before you get another opportunity.

<b></b> 203,956 21
07/07/2006 02:33 AM

Well, since I don't read what you morons write, and there was a whole lot of text, I didn't really care.



So, my advice is suicide, Frost her, Frost him, Frost the goat, fdisk, see a doctor, abortion, and drink heavily...whichever is applicable, use.

Succubus 3,359 10
07/07/2006 03:11 AM

Sage, you're not bad looking. Doable. And since I am hot enough that I have a long list of of good-looking guys begging to get into my pants... and I mean begging in a literal sense... take that as a strong compliment. Especially since you apparently have a strong sex drive and might be able to keep up with me...(I like ellipses!)

Twice as much for a nickel: Snork. 45,655 12
07/07/2006 04:52 AM

Humble, aren't we?

Captain Dan, Meistersinger 44,452 11
07/07/2006 05:31 AM

Good looks aren't the end-all and be-all to getting limitless ass. I suggest you become rich.



Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.

Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
07/07/2006 07:16 AM

Hey, you're not the one married, she is. You shouldn't feel guilty, you aren't cheating on anyone.



Pfft. It's her problem, not yours.



Sorry Millie, but that's absolute crap. The husband's the one who would have the problem in this case and why does he deserve to feel bad?



Nachos rule for life - Do whatever the hell you like as long as it doesn't have a directly detrimental effect on anyone else. If you do then you deserve to wake up one morning with the agreived party holding a shotgun to your temple.

Twice as much for a nickel: Snork. 45,655 12
07/07/2006 07:36 AM

You'd think that Nachos rule for life would involve corn and cheese in some way.

Chance Month Rules! 171,275 14
07/07/2006 07:41 AM

Mental note: Never sleep with Nachos wife, even if she she taunts me with pastries.

Pumpkin Noggin (now with more squash) 56,642 8
07/07/2006 09:33 AM

Ok..let's make this easier. We need the following for a judgment call:

Picture of her husband=to determine the mortal danger you may be in if he's not keen on an open marriage.

SUHT= which obviously would be easy to do with her, and would add to the $$ donated to the SUYT plate for Breast Cancer drive.

Total absolution of any wrong doing= if you take any advice from her and act on it causing you great (or greater) bodily harm.

Ollie Ollie Go Go Pop 203,475 12
07/07/2006 10:38 AM

Eat the Big Mac.

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/07/2006 10:54 AM

I had a Big Mac in Amsterdam the other day. It tasted the exact same as one I could get here.







I feel like part of my life has been wasted.

UnderChance! 101,398 77
07/07/2006 10:58 AM

Sage, maybe you should talk to Spicey.

Ollie Ollie Go Go Pop 203,475 12
07/07/2006 12:04 PM

You should've ordered the Le Royale with Cheese.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
07/07/2006 12:08 PM

and a glass of beer.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 12:32 PM

Millie -- Valid point, to a degree. There is unfortunately many so-called cheaters getting successfully sued for Shakespeare like 'alienation of affection' and other lawyerly scum-sucking lawsuits.



Fartpuppy -- Got me thinking about it. Who knows how deep this desert is? Get my water when I can, right?



Larkknot -- Thank you, sincerely, for the compliment. I have done nothing but get better with age, so, as long as I had a relatively short period of time to get back to where I was pre-hospital, I could easily keep up with anything that you'd care to throw at me. Now, I ain't no slut -- far from it. Only been with four women in my life. Last relationship lasted for about ten years. I can go on forever like an insurance seminar because I invest my emotions in what, or rather, who I'm doing at the time. That's why this is such a problem for me. I'm essentially being asked to invest quite a bit in her, but I'm not sure I'd get the same investment. That's all I know as far as relationships go. Shakespeare, maybe I should just reinvent myself and try to score more ass than the front seat of a rental car....



Dan -- Don't mind telling you that I've already done the crime thing years ago and that's complete bullShakespeare. Never got caught, statutes have all run, so I'm not worried, but the point of all of this is to eventually avoid dishonesty and cheating and so on. Inheiritance is a good idea, but I've still got several decades yet before my parents kick off. Besides, I think money is a complete bullShakespeare way to yardstick people. Means nothing except you're either lucky or work too bloody hard for something that won't get you into heaven for.





Nachos -- that sentiment sounds like a decidedly un-cynical thing to say. Are you sick or what?

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 12:33 PM

Dorkie T -- I got lost in Copenhagen looking for their famous red-light district. Walked literally the completely opposite direction for several hours. That's how lame I was. I couldn't even get laid in a city known for sex. The thing at the time, was that I was the only guy in our group who could speak some German, so everyone wanted me to teach them handy tourist phrases when we were in Hamburg, like for example, when in a McDonalds in Deutschland, their order went something like this: "Guten Tag. Ich mchte ein Bier, bitte." Or, when they got completely hammered on cheap German McDonald's beer, they'd mumble "Ein anderes Bier, bitte..." and then pass out. Great fun.



Underwhere? -- Sure. But why? I think I must be missing something....

Chance Month Rules! 171,275 14
07/07/2006 12:40 PM

Fine Froster! What I dont exist?



You MUST be crazy....my advice was gold.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 12:52 PM

Chance, I did answer you last night. You asked me if I was gay, right?



As far as the rest of that went, uhhh... no comment.



Oh, and thank you for the compliment.

Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
07/07/2006 12:55 PM

Nachos -- that sentiment sounds like a decidedly un-cynical thing to say. Are you sick or what?



No, the cynical part comes in because I fully expect you to do it, thus confirming my belief that 90% of the human race are no better than animals and should be treated accordingly.

Chance Month Rules! 171,275 14
07/07/2006 12:58 PM

Sage, you know I cannot be bothered to read everything...you must get my attention.

Chancelacka 68,758 11
07/07/2006 12:59 PM

I just found out what a sex rodeo is. When you're doing a chic doggy style, tell her she has a fat ass. Then try to hold on for 8 seconds.

Chance Month Rules! 171,275 14
07/07/2006 01:00 PM

I have so much to teach you, I see.

Chancelacka 68,758 11
07/07/2006 01:01 PM

I'm a visual hands on learner. Go from there.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 01:04 PM

Nachos -- Again, good point. I am, in fact, leaning heavily in that direction, but I haven't tipped yet.



Chance -- CHANCE! OVER HERE! I'll keep that in mind next time.



Cracka -- I almost fell out of my chair on that one! That was golden! Feels good to laugh like that again, so thanks.

Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
07/07/2006 01:06 PM

Crack, you should try a sex bull-fight instead.



As before, start shagging your chick doggy style then, at the height of passion, plunge two razor-sharp swords between her shoulder blades.



It also avoids the annoying conversations afterward.

Pumpkin Noggin (now with more squash) 56,642 8
07/07/2006 01:06 PM

Next person who makes Sage laugh so hard he falls out of his chair, make sure he didn't break anything...we can't afford to pay to get him fixed again.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/07/2006 02:02 PM

Sage



The woman you describe is a deceitful manipulative trollop. She deserves to be taught a lesson.



I suggest that you go have dirty, angry prison sex with her husband.

The fact that you are straight and would undoubtedly find it repulsive will add greatly to the effectiveness of your revenge.



Do the right thing Sage. Even if it means you have to get your ass cored like an apple.



You'll be glad you did!

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 02:11 PM

Pumpkin -- yeah, this Shakespeare gets expensive fast. It sucks, though, being on disability. I mean, I've been on the dole for so long that I've started pissing pineapple juice....



Demo -- Don't know you, but I am sincerely hoping that you're not speaking from experience.... and the only thing I'd ever insert into another guy is some 230 grain FMJ slugs from my Springer Mil-Spec. But that's a different story...

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/07/2006 02:18 PM

Sage, keep in mind that sticking to ethics in this situation are a lot easier than potentially getting bullets removed.



Plus you'll be the rebound guy, which isn't bad, but if you want more your kind of screwed in the long run.





(what's wrong with me I actually thought before posting)

Chancelacka 68,758 11
07/07/2006 02:22 PM

Cracka -- I almost fell out of my chair on that one! That was golden! Feels good to laugh like that again, so thanks.



Holy Shakespeare! I helped a cripple today. Does that make up for the time I set that midget on fire?

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/07/2006 02:22 PM

Don't know you, but I am sincerely hoping that you're not speaking from experience....



No, no. Of course not.







...

Stop looking at me!







...

WHAT HAPPENS IN ALABAMA STAYS IN ALABAMA!

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 04:28 PM

Sage, keep in mind that sticking to ethics in this situation are a lot easier than potentially getting bullets removed.



Oh,no doubt. I was tongue-in-cheek. I mean, the Shakespeare ain't worth dyin' over.



Plus you'll be the rebound guy, which isn't bad, but if you want more your kind of screwed in the long run.



Yeah, you did think about this. Or do you have some experience being the rebound guy? I never have been myself, before now I suppose, but I'm not sure I like it.

Pram Maven misses Chance 80,728 42
07/07/2006 04:30 PM

Here's my dilemma. After getting out of the hospital this last time,



Heroin-addled fag.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 05:14 PM

Heroin-addled fag.



Jealous much?

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/07/2006 05:45 PM

Yes Sage, I have been the rebound guy, or least "The guy to bang until he reliases my coke addiction and must be traded off"



Or "That one guy that doesn't know I'm not divorced" really sucks when I got a phone call from the husband threatening my life if I Frosted with her kids (KIDS?)



Why would I Frost kids, they're too small.

Taco: the Lord of the Crunch 61,976 36
07/07/2006 06:11 PM

If her relationship with her husband was really that bad, she's leave him. She's just looking for a fake sympathy Frost, and when she gets caught she'll turn it all around to "he seduced me I love you so much honey I'm so sorry wah wah" and you'll get beat with a baseball bat.



And why when I jumped over to my desktop, it won't let me edit my goddamn name?

Balfazz 518 9
07/07/2006 07:54 PM

I think it would be a really bad idea for a nice guy like you.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/07/2006 09:01 PM

If her relationship with her husband was really that bad, she's leave him.



Taco, here's a cynical saying for you my friend and I came up with many years ago (at least I think that he and I made it up): the person in the relationship who cares the least, has the most control.



I think that only applies to unhealthy relationships where power and abuse are rampant, however. People like me who care way more than is good for us, are the ones who end up being abused and walked all over and end up "needing" more.

SHP - and that's what it's like to be a gangsta' 181,795 70
07/07/2006 09:50 PM

I walked into this thread, where a relative noob was all like "oh woe is me, I'm going to use large blocks of text and not be real funny." And I was all like "Oh, this is gonna be good!"

Then I started to read, and all these other people were all like "here's some advice" and "here's some more reasonable advice" and "hey, here's some heartfelt compliments and advice." And I was all like "woah, dude, where the Frost am I?" And then BIG posted something neutral, sorta amusing, and not directly mean, so I was like "I AM in the twilight zone." And then Underwhere posted something about Spicey, and I knew, afterall, that all was right in the world.

UnderChance! 101,398 77
07/07/2006 10:14 PM

I love you today silly panda.

leomVze 54 8
07/07/2006 11:36 PM

Perhaps posting on Zug has stopped your sex life from leaving the 'high school' stage.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
07/07/2006 11:40 PM

Just because your high school sex life is painfully recent.

leomVze 54 8
07/07/2006 11:41 PM

I'm glad you acknowledge my sex life.

Thud went the Chance 68,497 19
07/07/2006 11:42 PM

And painfully inadequate, most likely.

Thud went the Chance 68,497 19
07/07/2006 11:43 PM

And self-abuse while peeping into the showers isn't much of a sex life. You should have tried harder.

Elf the dog cop 256 7
07/08/2006 12:36 AM

Sage, drill her like you are looking for oil in Texas. Like it was said before,you *aren't* the one cheating. You are single, good- looking, and more stopped up than a dog who has eaten superglue. Go for it, man, and have fun.

I have slept with several married men (go on and call me a whore) and don't regret any of the affairs.

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/08/2006 12:36 AM

whore.

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/08/2006 12:37 AM

What? I had permission.

Elf the dog cop 256 7
07/08/2006 12:40 AM

You had permission, Yorkie. You are forgiven. No hard feelings, huh? Wait, that didn't sound quite right....

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/08/2006 12:43 AM

I've got a hard feeling right now.

Rabble: Houseplant 264 7
07/08/2006 12:48 AM

Mmm...



Yup, sure feels hard to me.

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/08/2006 12:49 AM

Fag.

Yorkie Thompson: Twelve Hours Off 60,724 12
07/08/2006 12:51 AM

THAT DIDN'T MEAN STOP, FrostER!

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/08/2006 12:56 AM

Elf -- You made me think, which is unusual in my current state.



All I need to do is to recognize that this is not going to be another one of my long-term relationships. That changes my perceptions on what I'm willing to give and what I require in return.



And if things suddenly go south in a hurry, I can always ask Ollie for some friendly body-burying advice. You know, a few tips and hints for the new guy.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/08/2006 11:22 AM

Okay Update:



Met with her again last night, decided to tongue-fence for a while in a local park near the house.



So, I'm gonna go for it. Wish me luck, and thanks for everyone who posted about me, especially SD; you got me good!



Since this is a comedy site, I'll try to include some attempt at humor now:



How can you tell if you've eaten good Poe?







You wake up in the morning and your face looks like a glazed doughnut.





And glazed are my favorites too!

UnderChance! 101,398 77
07/08/2006 11:58 AM

Since this is a comedy site, I'll try to include some attempt at humor now



Try again.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/08/2006 12:46 PM

Okay.

Lila Drinks Pepsi 78,555 13
07/08/2006 01:27 PM

I can't believe not a single person has asked WHY a married woman is spendind all her time alone with a single dude. I know my hubby would notice after oh say the third or fourth Friday night alone.

Sage, you know what I'm going to say - Oh Shakespeare! Don't tell me you're thinking of whipping your dick at that fine piece of woman, are you? Tell you what... look over at Silent Bob and see if he thinks that a good idea to whip your dick out. That's it boy, put the dick down. You gotta go from the heart, yo. No little perv-bullShakespeare's gonna work for this one. Be smooth. Be dam-wan-de-la-nootch. Remember: Don't pull your dick out 'till she asks, or until she's sleeping. BOOOONG...

Albert of the Meat 10,702 8
07/08/2006 01:42 PM

Dude, don't do it. She's an assassin, and she's trying to justify her husband killing you, so that he doesn't go to jail for too long. Someone has put a bounty on your life, my friend.

Albert of the Meat 10,702 8
07/08/2006 01:46 PM

Also, this woman I worked with apparently told her husband that she'd Frosted my brains out, and that I was bettre than he could ever be. She said that to get the upper hand in an argument. Truth be told, I didn't even Frost her. He stalked my girlfriend and me out for like a month and a half. It ended when he found out that I was a mafia prince. They fired her from work for the disruption she caused, and now she tries to talk to me sometimes. Don't Frost with married women. Sometimes, even NOT Frost-ing with married women can get you into trouble.

Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
07/08/2006 02:20 PM

<action>adds Sage to 'the list'</action>Which temple are you most fond of, left or right?

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/08/2006 06:38 PM

Hey, let's all keep the sharp things down for a little while and chill okay? Nothin's gettin' done yet.



So far, the count seems to be eight to seven in favor of me banging her.



And then there was Demo's post. Sorry dude, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out which side of the fence you are on.



So far, two of the people I respect on GAB (no, I'm not drunk) are on opposite sides. Millie and Lila. Where's Kittuns in all this? I'd even listen to Pram if he decides to talk about something other than music. Chit's been real cool to me, so that's actually a little more lean towards the Frostherbrainsout Department.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/08/2006 06:41 PM

Sorry dude, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out which side of the fence you are on.



The top.

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
07/08/2006 06:52 PM

Thanks for the clarification.

Lila Drinks Pepsi 78,555 13
07/08/2006 07:00 PM

Sage, Mils (though I love her so) = divorced. Me = newlywed. You're gonna hafta expect these opinions.

By the by, she does have a good point - it's her problem and not yours. However, it's gonna become your problem when her burly bouncer of a hubby shows up pounding on your door at 3 am.



Also, I dig up a "trouser snake" quote and all I get is two lousy clicks?! C'mon, people, this is quality stuff here! It's not every day I get to use the Don-wan-dela-nuce reference.

Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
07/08/2006 09:36 PM

So far, the count seems to be eight to seven in favor of me banging her.



You're basing this on a majority decision?



I hereby change my vote to you having sex with a chicken.

Filly 39,193 20
07/08/2006 09:59 PM

My two cents' worth:



Why do it her? Personally, and it might just be because I have morals, if I cheated or helped someone cheat, I would just feel horrible afterwards. I can understand that it's been a while, but show some self control. Go to a bar, go to a club, pick up a chick that way, but don't waste your time on something that could potentially end badly. If you just want a quick Frost, find some random person who's not already attached and do them. Or wait for a relationship.

Happy PhartSack 13,792 15
07/08/2006 10:28 PM

Sage, glad you are feeling better..



Good luck with things...





but I just want to Know!





















When the Frost did GAB get so Frost-ing helpfull???????????

Straw puts Chance in name cause everyone's doin it 98,000 37
07/08/2006 10:48 PM

In the immortal words of the Black Eyed Peas.



You don't want no drama! No, no drama! No, no, no, no drama!

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/08/2006 10:57 PM

Okay, here's my advice.



Don't Frost her until she has established a living arrangement apart from her husband. Otherwise, the minute she gets thrown out (or decides to run out), she'll have nowhere to go but to good old Spicey's Sage's place.



Next thing you know, you'll be supporting her lazy bon-bon eating ass, selling your sports car so you can get a minivan to drive her and her brats around in and moving to a bigger and more expensive place. And that's quite a price to pay for your first piece of poon. Er, first piece of poon in several years.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/08/2006 10:58 PM

I kid, clan O'Haggis. I kid because I love.

Spicey McHaggis 117,779 37
07/08/2006 11:08 PM

her lazy bon-bon eating ass



That's not all her ass eats.

Sage of Seattle (Precariously Ambivalent) 36,465 8
07/08/2006 11:27 PM

I hereby change my vote to you having sex with a chicken.



Okay, only in the interest of being fair (or the appearance of it) how many now vote for me to Frost a cluck?





Of course, I'm not gonna do it no matter HOW that vote turns out.

Sage of Seattle (Precariously Ambivalent) 36,465 8
07/08/2006 11:28 PM

When the Frost did GAB get so Frost-ing helpfull???????????





Oh Shakespeare man, thanks for that. Now I'm gonna get blamed for corrupting GAB....

Millie 116,988 28
07/09/2006 12:03 AM

Jesus H. Christ! I was JOKING. Why does everyone take everything I say seriously?



Seriously, I would say do not have sex with her. She's a manipulative neurotic needy person and you should stay far away from her. If she's in a bad marriage, so what? She is leading you on. There are plenty of other women around who are unattached. Dump her.



Are you all satisfied, now? I swear to God I'm going to have to have one of those stupid signature lines reminding everyone that most of what I say is NOT serious.





Millie--JUST KIDDING GODAMMIT!

Sidewalk Prophet 998 9
07/09/2006 01:26 AM

Whatever. Millie just wants the woman for herself.

UnderChance! 101,398 77
07/09/2006 12:33 PM

Whistler - We don't own a minivan.



Sage - As Spicey so eloquently put it, the most important thing to consider is if she likes it up the pooper. Check with her, and then report back.



With pictures, if possible.

DŸCE 916 8
07/09/2006 01:01 PM

You can go for banging her but just remember the husban has the American right (and duty) to put you back in the hospital where you can from. So just make it worth it and your set!

Sage of Seattle (Precariously Ambivalent) 36,465 8
07/09/2006 04:34 PM

Underwhere -- Don't need to check with her, I already am well aware of her sexual preferences. It's ixnay on the uttbay...



It's all a moot issue at this point, because, I don't know if it's because it's Sunday or not, but I finally did it.



I stayed up all night agonizing some more and then talked with her today and said, essentially, "no tickee, no Sagee". I want to see some concrete movement towards separation or divorce. A paper filed in superior court would do perfectly. I decided that I deserve better than what I'm getting so far. Thanks very much for all of your fine compliments and support, ladies; I concluded that, pig though I may be, I'm no dog.



I freely admit, I was extremely flattered -- almost to the point of giddiness. Well, anyway,









I'm now off to go get heavily, sloppily drunk, jack off, and cry.



In which order, I don't yet know.







Oh, hell. May as well do it all at once.....

Yorkie Thompson: Waaaay too close to Ollie 60,724 12
07/09/2006 07:04 PM

I'm now off to go get heavily, sloppily drunk, jack off, and cry.



In which order, I don't yet know.







Oh, hell. May as well do it all at once.....



Ahhhh...





Another true Gabber is born.

Thud went the Chance 68,497 19
07/09/2006 07:45 PM

Another true Gabber is born crawls away from the hospital just so he can post.



I fixed it decreased the comprehensibility for you.

Yorkie Thompson: Waaaay too close to Ollie 60,724 12
07/09/2006 08:01 PM

Shut the hell up, gaywad.

Sage of Seattle (Morosely Insouciant) 36,465 8
07/09/2006 08:17 PM

Another true Gabber is born.





Halleluia! Can ah git an AMEN?!!

































or maybe just a handjob?

Who wants to grab me booty? 58,948 29
07/09/2006 08:31 PM

Another crysterbation because of Gab's odd sence of morality. I love this place. We will stare unblinking in the face ass of tubgirl, but we won't let Sage pityFrost a bitch.

Thud went the Chance 68,497 19
07/09/2006 10:01 PM

SD, you wound me with your humor.





Well, not really wound, as much as annoy.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/10/2006 12:45 AM

Least tell us where you live, and where we can find the local news to find out if you get shot over this situation and all.



because we are the caring compationate group you know.

Millie 116,988 28
07/10/2006 05:46 PM

Weeelll, Timmy, since his name is Sage of Seattle, I think we have a pretty good idea about where he lives.



I'm just sayin'...

sarah (storms are brewing in your eyes) 30,601 8
07/10/2006 05:54 PM

It's ixnay on the uttbay...



You turned down butt sex?



























Wait...you turned down butt sex?

For ameshay.

Sage of Seattle (Morosely Insouciant) 36,465 8
07/10/2006 06:04 PM

Nahh, nahh, nothing like that. It's not that I am refusing to do her in that fashion, but that she doesn't want me to.



The only reason I mention this is because I don't want any of you GABbers to think I'm abnormal or something.











You know, because you all mean so much to me.



















Really. No, REALLY!

Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/10/2006 06:04 PM

I believe the message he was trying to convey is more along the lines of she is unwilling to let him pee in her butt.

sarah (storms are brewing in your eyes) 30,601 8
07/10/2006 07:14 PM

She needs to suck it up and take it like a champ.

Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/10/2006 08:12 PM

I don't let people pee in my butt either. Whenever my guy even tries to touch my ass, this instinctive super sphincter reflex kicks in and my butthole clenches so tight I could make a diamond in there.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/10/2006 08:14 PM

Note to self: bring coal to the next Gab gathering.

KChiki is channeling Bob Ross...Ohmmm.... 128,316 98
07/10/2006 08:23 PM

Demo, the expression on your icon makes that comment even funnier.

Lila Drinks Pepsi 78,555 13
07/10/2006 10:54 PM

Heh, Taco, I'm so glad you shared that because I have thought I am perhaps the only woman in the world who has that exact same reaction.

Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/10/2006 11:21 PM

Lila and Taco: tight asses united.

Sage of Seattle (Morosely Insouciant) 36,465 8
07/11/2006 03:32 PM

My lucky number!



1911 clickies! Frostin' w00t!!!

Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
07/11/2006 03:37 PM

You're Ray Harroun?

Pram fights dirtier than your mom 80,728 42
07/11/2006 09:48 PM

"Not Sure Why, but asking for GABbers' advice"



How about dancing to some bad techno through a plate glass window?

Neophyte 9,956 11
07/16/2006 11:16 AM

Sage, have you considered the possibility that you are a homosexual?

Tweak - Hating Pram since before it was cool 18,881 12
07/16/2006 12:17 PM

Why yes, he's considering it right now.

Tweak - Hating Pram since before it was cool 18,881 12
07/16/2006 12:18 PM

It seems he has come to a decision.

Lostyyy the jar child, now with more air! 0 0
07/18/2006 12:22 AM

homosexual?



Stuck at home!

Has a mo!

Sex?

Ual(you all laugh)!



You need to GAB more honey!



You know. Gane attention by sending me pictures of your ......!

Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/18/2006 12:25 AM

Always pick the darker blue.



It will look lighter when it dries.

Tweak can't be on all the bandwagons at once 18,881 12
07/18/2006 05:06 AM

Lostyyy, learn to spell, learn to capitalize, learn not to use so many exclamation marks, learn to be funny, stop trying so hard.

Pramlewd to a kiss 80,728 42
07/18/2006 02:06 PM

How about putting on spring boots and pogoing into the ceiling?

Tweak can't be on all the bandwagons at once 18,881 12
07/18/2006 02:26 PM

Pram, do you just hover over my profile and hit refresh every few seconds? Seriously, it seems like you're always the first person to post in a thread after I do. Sure, I know the photo I have in the album portrays a certain youthful, boyish exuberance which I know you find attractive, but you're not going to find love here. Get the Frost away from me.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/20/2006 03:54 PM

Make like a cornerback...Bump and run.



You'll feel better...





Is she REALLY a woman? How can you tell?

MIdgets 96,092 48
07/20/2006 03:57 PM

Damnit Pubah, for the last time..



THERE ARE NO NUNS IN ANTARTICA!

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/20/2006 04:13 PM

You know. Gane attention by sending me pictures of your ......!





Well, I just might, except YOU DON'T EMAIL ME ANYMORE.





Besides, sending pics of what I think you're talking about to strange internet chicks.... well, been there, done that. But I was really wasted at the time.



No, really.

Proud Mary 43 0
07/20/2006 07:16 PM

Sage if Losty ever emailed you. What was she like? Is she really a retard?



You can always email me for something different.

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/20/2006 07:51 PM

godmightcarebutidont@yourexpense.hell



And maybe I would, but somehow I think my email would bounce....



And for the record, no, Losty isn't a loozer or retarded. Everyone who has PM'd me has been very nice.



And I think BIG is funny.

















So what do I know?

Proud Mary 43 0
07/20/2006 08:19 PM

Check your email.



This will be the only contact that I will have with you. I didnt check out your photo before I sent the email.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/20/2006 08:24 PM

You guys realize that GAB relationships end in marriage and children...or eyedrops.

Neophyte 9,956 11
07/20/2006 08:48 PM

Sage of Seattle (Fecklessly Amusing

) 7/06/2006 9:50 pm Not gay; not bi. Strictly strait....



You make Andy Dick look like Dick Clarke you can't even SPELL straight (dick)! You've had more dick in you than that last sentence!



P.S. I don't normally pick on people's spelling but hey.....fags aren't really people.

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/20/2006 08:55 PM

You guys realize that GAB relationships end in marriage and children...or eyedrops.





That's funny BIG, I thought they all ended in "-uicide"...

Senior Destructor: Vlaccid Frontman 60,724 12
07/20/2006 08:57 PM

I'm pretty sure it's about time this thread ended in "-uicide."

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/20/2006 09:01 PM

You make Andy Dick look like Dick Clarke you can't even SPELL straight



Thanks for pointing out my mistake; I believe I've only made four grammar and/or spelling mistakes here on GAB that I haven't caught.



Now if I may point out one very obvious mistake that I see -- it sure looks like your momma made the mistake of not sucking you out of her womb with a Hoover upright.

Neophyte 9,956 11
07/20/2006 09:50 PM

...That bit about my mom and the hoover....classic. The fact that it was an upright.....nice touch.......fag.



Seriously, just bang the nice lady and be done with it.









..like right now, call her.









...why are you still here, go get some!

TableTopJane wants a rock to wind a string around 173,958 15
07/20/2006 09:55 PM

it sure looks like your momma made the mistake of not sucking you out of her womb with a Hoover upright.



HEY!! Frost you, man. Frost you.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/20/2006 09:56 PM

In Iowa/South Dakota, its a Hoover on-her-back.

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/20/2006 11:26 PM

...That bit about my mom and the hoover....classic. The fact that it was an upright.....nice touch.......fag.



Thanks thweetie!





Kinda reminds me of a line I once heard: my lady is like a piano: when she's not upright, she's grand.

Proud Mary 43 0
07/20/2006 11:47 PM

I emailed Losty and she said the reason she no longer communicates with you is because and wait for it.



Your a fag and asked for pictures of her husband.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/20/2006 11:50 PM

I emailed Losty and she said the reason she no longer communicates with you is because and wait for it.



Your a fag and asked for pictures of her husband.



So close to being English.

Proud Mary 43 0
07/21/2006 12:13 AM

So close to English. That's funny coming from the Irish.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/21/2006 12:15 AM

Gutterslut, don't worry about my heritage, worry about not Jilly-ing up the joint.