Queen Buttercup 171,275 14
07/22/2006 04:41 PM

- I like BIG.

Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
07/22/2006 04:42 PM

I have a 3rd testicle.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/22/2006 04:44 PM

- I've had sex with a GABette.

Pained Soul 273 7
07/22/2006 04:46 PM

I have a life.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 04:46 PM

I don't drink alcohol.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 04:48 PM

I work hard at my job everyday and cherish the time I spend with internet strangers on a comedy message board.

Queen Buttercup 171,275 14
07/22/2006 04:48 PM

- I have nipples.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 04:49 PM

I lost my virginity when I was 15.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 04:49 PM

I never even kissed a girl until I was 14.

Queen Buttercup 171,275 14
07/22/2006 04:49 PM

...to his mom.

Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
07/22/2006 04:50 PM

I'm really funny.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 04:51 PM

Can we point out when we think someone is lying or telling the truth? Because I see one that is a total lie.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/22/2006 04:51 PM

- I have been known to do selfish acts of kindness.

Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
07/22/2006 04:53 PM

Can we point out when we think someone is lying or telling the truth? Because I see one that is a total lie.





Ah ha, Orbs for you my friend.

























Jerk!

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
07/22/2006 04:53 PM

-I am Chris Garrett.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/22/2006 04:54 PM

- I have never hung out with Erika.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 04:56 PM

I support Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
07/22/2006 04:59 PM

-I am a hot 20 year old girl, and not a 300 pound 40 year old man from Wyoming.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/22/2006 05:00 PM

- Meeting GABbers in real life scares me.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/22/2006 05:00 PM

- I have been known to do selfish acts of kindness.





I hope that's not a typo.

The Jerk 6,311 9
07/22/2006 05:03 PM

My mom still washes my back when I take a bath.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/22/2006 05:06 PM

This is my new girlfriend.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/22/2006 05:14 PM

During May of 1943 I sank over 160,000 tons of allied shipping.

Pram, Pram on the Range 80,728 42
07/22/2006 05:16 PM

I know how to take a joke.

Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
07/22/2006 05:28 PM

I have a 3rd testicle





I'm surprised no one said, " Without pictures this is meaningless".

daisypie 49,378 9
07/22/2006 05:33 PM

I have a 3rd testicle





I'm surprised no one said, " Without pictures this is meaningless".





You thought maybe anyone wanted to see the other two?

Yorkie Thompson has decided to be a bad person. 60,724 12
07/22/2006 05:34 PM

You didn't give us time. It take us a while to be as predictable as you think we are.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/22/2006 05:52 PM

- At least one GABber has undergone Sexual Reassignment Surgery.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
07/22/2006 05:53 PM

Pram - I know how to take a joke.



<true>



Pram just doesn't know how to deliver one.



<also true>



Big - - I have been known to do selfish acts of kindness.



<true>



Although "Selfish acts of kindness", involves reducing asshats into quivering masses of self doubting goo after administering a violent flaming.

Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/22/2006 06:40 PM

I'm actually a pretty nice person, once you get to know me.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
07/22/2006 06:47 PM

I have never masturbated.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/22/2006 06:47 PM

North Koreans have built a zepellin mooring facility on my bald spot.

Sarah (Donde esta mis pantalones?) 30,601 8
07/22/2006 06:49 PM

When I eat, my jaw makes this clicking noise and it annoys people, so I make sure to do it really loudly.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
07/22/2006 06:51 PM

I take showers.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 06:52 PM

I believe the French are delightful individuals who just got a bad rap.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 176,450 56
07/22/2006 06:53 PM

My sides are splitting right now.

Sarah (Donde esta mis pantalones?) 30,601 8
07/22/2006 06:55 PM

I suck Coleridge for Klondike Bars.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 06:55 PM

I seen her!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/22/2006 06:56 PM

I believe rappers are delightful individuals who just got a bad French braid.

Ditdah, plotting to kill Abe Vigoda 123,110 14
07/22/2006 07:10 PM

I have sex on a regular basis.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/22/2006 07:13 PM

I give sex to Ditdah on a regular basis.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/22/2006 07:18 PM

Slinky wouldn't survive sex with Ditdah on any basis.

MIdgets 96,092 48
07/22/2006 07:38 PM

Ron Jeremy is jelous of my penis.

High Priestess with Jazz Hands! 58,948 29
07/22/2006 07:55 PM

I am still the president of the GVG.

daisypie 49,378 9
07/22/2006 08:09 PM

Alas poor Demo...

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/22/2006 08:34 PM

This is my new girlfriend.



If that's your new girlfriend, what's she doing in Kake's apartment?

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/22/2006 08:37 PM

I haven' post5ed in months. And the first time i do, not ony do I nit understranf the thread, but I am sober.

Straw puts Chance in name cause everyone's doin it 98,000 37
07/22/2006 08:54 PM

Based on your spelling Brode, I'd say the sober statement falls under "not true."

Queen Buttercup 171,275 14
07/22/2006 08:59 PM

-I hate Twinkies.

MIdgets 96,092 48
07/22/2006 09:01 PM

John Hargrave is my father, he calls me his "little puddin pop".



And he has never touched my no-no spot.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
07/22/2006 09:02 PM

Domg ding! We have a winnrt, straw!

The letters are't where they sholdbe on my keyboad.



Someone moved them.

Piquantrax - Sex A Peel 8,691 9
07/23/2006 01:22 AM

I sniffed coke off a man's erect penis.

To Chickens to take a Chance 286,539 61
07/23/2006 02:05 AM

I could have been a contender.

Yorkie Thompson has decided to be a bad person. 60,724 12
07/23/2006 02:38 AM

I missed a Frost-ing Brody post?





NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
07/23/2006 02:47 AM

I played minor league baseball for a year.

Declan McManus as Walter Bridge 131,887 36
07/23/2006 03:08 AM

I have never fisted.

ringworm 68,315 13
07/23/2006 05:57 AM

i once inhaled a seagull.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
07/23/2006 06:09 AM

I have never, not engaged in negative behavior that can in no way, be misconstrued as to be not correct.



*Literally*

RRaccoon 56,688 10
07/23/2006 09:32 AM

I cherish each and every one of you like a mother hen loves her chicks.

RRaccoon 56,688 10
07/23/2006 09:35 AM

I can update the front page capcon and the photo album, I just don't want to.

MIdgets 96,092 48
07/23/2006 09:38 AM

I tried to hide in the bushes out-side of Roofies bedroom only to find there was a 6 month waiting list.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/23/2006 10:04 AM

You need to tip the Maitre-de.

UnderHaggis! 101,398 77
07/23/2006 10:07 AM

I'm pregnant!

Queen Buttercup 171,275 14
07/23/2006 10:34 AM

I got Panties Pregnant.

Pram, Pram on the Range 80,728 42
07/23/2006 10:50 AM

I liked ice cream.

ThirstyMcsurly, best served on the rocks 4,444 12
07/23/2006 12:13 PM

I am not the most annoying newb

To Chickens to take a Chance 286,539 61
07/23/2006 01:34 PM

Evolution makes perfect sense to me, despite no evidence.

Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
07/23/2006 06:26 PM

I am what Willis was talkin' about.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
07/23/2006 08:28 PM

<action>waves hand</action>I am NOT the droid you are looking for.

MIdgets 96,092 48
07/23/2006 08:41 PM

Yes, yes he is.

Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/23/2006 08:48 PM

Unquestioned belief in an invisible almighty father figure makes perfect sense to me, despite no evidence.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
07/23/2006 09:07 PM

I do not have a blatant attraction to Trixxie.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/23/2006 09:09 PM

I am not afraid to meet Trixxie at GABlanta.

SHP - and that's what it's like to be a gangsta' 181,795 70
07/23/2006 09:24 PM

- I know how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

Speed Limit 13 0
07/23/2006 09:25 PM

BIG is my sister.

Pisserbyer 104 6
07/23/2006 09:26 PM

I tried to eat my own leg off once.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/23/2006 09:36 PM

Evolution makes perfect sense to me, despite no evidence.





If I refuse to read a book, the ideas in it don't exist.

Midgets 96,092 48
07/23/2006 09:41 PM

All of the "Intelligent Design" people are gonna be Frosted when God turns out to be a monkey.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/24/2006 10:49 AM

I masturbate to Craig's List in the bartering section.

Mr Fook 4,016 9
07/24/2006 10:57 AM

There is no spoon.

Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/24/2006 11:02 AM

I am a sexual introvert.

SAVVY, Lord of the Chance 4,599 8
07/24/2006 12:08 PM

I am Spartacus.

Piquantrax - Sex A Peel 8,691 9
07/24/2006 01:46 PM

Luke, I am your father.

Sarah (Donde esta mis pantalones?) 30,601 8
07/24/2006 02:04 PM

I got Panties Pregnant.



- I watched.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
07/24/2006 02:34 PM

I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

All Trixxie, and a Crock of Dick Cheese 65,026 15
07/24/2006 02:39 PM

I like it when my dog humps my leg.

Sarah (Donde esta mis pantalones?) 30,601 8
07/24/2006 02:46 PM

I LOVE it when my dog humps my leg.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/24/2006 02:47 PM

- Darrin is posting again under another name.

Filly 39,193 20
07/24/2006 02:55 PM

I may or may not be a 40-something man named Warren.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/24/2006 02:57 PM

Hahahahaha, a FORTY year old, hahahaha.

Kchiki - Wandering Florida since 1981! 128,316 98
07/24/2006 08:10 PM

-Sarah is a tagline stealing whore. The least she could do is conjugate correctly.



-Also, I recently gave birth to a Tralfamadoran pup. And he is awesome.

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/24/2006 08:41 PM

I may or may not be banging a married chick.



Twice.















Oh, hell. I'm not very good about this, am I??

TableTopJane wants a rock to wind a string around 173,958 15
07/24/2006 08:58 PM

This sentence is a lie.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/24/2006 08:59 PM

This sentence is a true.

TableTopJane wants a rock to wind a string around 173,958 15
07/24/2006 09:17 PM

But if it really is true, Slinky, it stops there.



If MINE is true, then that must mean that the sentence really is a lie. If it's a lie, that means that the truth is the opposite of what it says. So if the sentence is a lie, then that means that the sentence is actually a lie. But if the sentence is a lie, then what the sentence says is true. Which means it must be a lie.

And so on and so on.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/24/2006 09:19 PM

Ya know, I was going to follow my post up with something along the lines of "I'm not here to make sense people." but you just fixed it that no one is able to make sense here.

TableTopJane wants a rock to wind a string around 173,958 15
07/24/2006 09:20 PM

I like cheese.

The Baptist 1,672 8
07/24/2006 09:23 PM

I was loved once.

Midgets 96,092 48
07/24/2006 09:26 PM

Every time God masturbates I kill a kitten.

The Baptist 1,672 8
07/24/2006 09:29 PM

Everytime I kill a kitten I masturbate.

Thud 68,497 19
07/24/2006 09:34 PM

I give clickies randomly.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/25/2006 12:07 AM

Veni, vidi, vacky.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/25/2006 12:35 AM

If you're a guy, never jack off in a shampoo bottle.



My friend, Dick Burns, can attest.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/25/2006 12:39 AM

Now Pram, a little comedic advice. That last little part could have been left off. I can bet that no one will give you clickies on the fact that you felt a need to add that last part in unless someone reads this post and feels the need to prove me wrong.



Just post what you think is funny and don't feel the need to explain your jokes.

Chance has no chance with Slinky 28,185 10
07/25/2006 12:40 AM

I'm not here to make sense people!

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/25/2006 12:46 AM

If you're a guy, never jack off in a sock full of bees.

Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/25/2006 12:47 AM

This isn't an advice thread, Pram, it's a may or may not be true thread. As in, it has to relate to you in some way. Watch:



"I think Pram is funny and enlightened."

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/25/2006 12:52 AM

I was speaking from experience though.

Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/25/2006 12:55 AM

I am a software error, a sock, Mariah Carey or the Holy Grail.

Hot Bev 2,715 9
07/25/2006 12:58 AM

I have been battling cancer for the past few months.

Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/25/2006 01:02 AM

I have been battling cancer for the past few months.



Can I have the biopsy?



...For my biopsy collection.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/25/2006 01:03 AM

I am a virgin.

Hot Bev 2,715 9
07/25/2006 01:21 AM

Raisinettes cure cancer.

Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/25/2006 02:20 AM

Raisinettes cure cancer.



What kind of cancer?

Mr Disapearo 0 0
07/25/2006 02:36 AM

I'm not new here but I'm Frost-ing good at making doves appear out of my ass.

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/25/2006 02:42 AM

Pram Sandwich



I am a virgin.



I think the idea here, Pram, is to say something that may or MAY NOT be true...

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
07/25/2006 03:42 AM

My penis is prehensile.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/25/2006 03:50 AM

Sage is a coprophiliac



(he Frosts Shakespeare)

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/25/2006 03:53 AM

Oops, I cluster Frosted that one.



I meant to say that:



I think Sage likes to eat Shakespeare, he sure talks about it enough.

Blueleprechaun 13,144 10
07/25/2006 04:19 AM

I am Jesus...

Stabbing Chance since June '06 512 7
07/25/2006 06:08 AM

I'm NOT still searching for the onion thread.

TableTopJane wants a rock to wind a string around 173,958 15
07/25/2006 08:48 AM

Post hoc ergo proctor hoc.

Sage of Seattle (Obliquely Indiscreet) 36,465 8
07/25/2006 12:39 PM

'Copter hocks posterior ham hocks. Some lova cum louda.

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
07/25/2006 01:01 PM

^ None of the above are funny ^