BIG's Advice Thread
A comedy conversation
by Big Irish Guy  203,956  21
07/30/2006 09:31 PM 2050 views
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Dear GABbers,
You ask me a question, and I will probably tell you to kill yourself, but give it a try.
Me
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494566
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Hilarious
13 votes
4.0
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Mr. Slinky 28,185  10
07/30/2006 09:31 PM
Should I kill myself?
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Funny
8 votes
3.7
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/30/2006 09:32 PM
Or should I kill Pram?
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Hilarious
15 votes
4.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:33 PM
Slinky,
Only kill yourself if you fail in killing Pram.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
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Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/30/2006 09:37 PM
Since GABvegas is no longer, what lame excuse are you using to get out of GABlanta now?
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Hilarious
14 votes
4.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:41 PM
Taco,
There are many viable reasons for me not attending. The reasons will not be posted because they include personal information, and you Froststains are all stalkers.
So the reason I will give, I would only go to GABlanta to spend time with you, but you are going to be too busy getting 4 2/3 fingers of rape and regret.
Me
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Hilarious
16 votes
4.0
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Midgets 96,092 48
07/30/2006 09:44 PM
Dear BIG,
I'm a straight white male rapidly nearing 30. Lately I've lost all desire for killing hookers and poking minorities with sticks.
I've withdrawn into a shell and only find joy in alcohol and doodles of Ziggy.
But what concerns me most is that I've developed an eye twitch.
So what I need to know is how much you should tip an ugly waitress if all you had is a sandwich?
Thanks in advance.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:47 PM
Midgets,
Twenty percent if the service was good, 25 if she offered to blow you in the parking lot.
As for how your life is going, welcome to the internet, this place was made for people like you.
As long as you live in the basement of your parents house.
Me
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Funny
8 votes
3.4
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Trae: Exploding Colons, aisle 5 156,790 17
07/30/2006 09:49 PM
Dear Big,
Why do you hate me and all vaginas like me? Is it because you prefer a nice stiff drink of whiskey to the smooth stylings of a female body part that isn't attached to someone named Erika.
Anxiously waiting your reply,
Trae
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.8
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walker6168 193 6
07/30/2006 09:50 PM
Will this forum somehow help me escape my 9 to 5 deathtrap if I'm funny enough?
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.1
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/30/2006 09:51 PM
Dear BIG,
When are you going to SUYT?
Just askin' is all,
Slinky
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Hilarious
14 votes
4.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:53 PM
Dear Trae,
I hate you because you continue to act in the stereotypical "Southern White Trash" manner. I hate your vagina because its been riden more times than Space Mountain on July 4th weekend. (And by just as many foreigners.)
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:55 PM
Walker,
If you are funny and lose the numbers after your name you might have a chance. But if you suck you should quit now.
Me
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Funny
15 votes
3.7
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Trae: Exploding Colons, aisle 5 156,790 17
07/30/2006 09:55 PM
Dear BIG,
Speaking of stereotypical.. why must you drink yourself into oblivion most times on Irish whiskey, then taunt unsuspecting women with your small Irish penis?
Fondly calling the kettle black,
Trae
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:55 PM
Slinky,
I will SYMTs right after I post a picture in the album.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.7
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Trae: Exploding Colons, aisle 5 156,790 17
07/30/2006 09:56 PM
Ps.
I'm not a Southerner. Nice try though.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:56 PM
Dear Trae,
That is not true, all the women are suspecting it will occur.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
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Miss Bitch 0 0
07/30/2006 09:57 PM
Dear BIG,
Why are you so big?
Regards,
Miss Bitch
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:57 PM
Dear Trae,
You currently live in Georgia, just a friendly reminder.
Me
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/30/2006 09:58 PM
Dear BIG,
How come none of the good lookin' GAB wommins live in our part of the country?
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:58 PM
Dear Miss Bitch,
Because I drank my milk and ate the smaller children when I was growing up.
Me
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.1
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 09:59 PM
Dear Dogs,
Erika is in Philly and Sharri is in Connecticut.
Me
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/30/2006 10:01 PM
Dear BIG,
Should I get this shirt in blue or red?
In need of fashion advice,
Mr. Slinky
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.2
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Trae: Exploding Colons, aisle 5 156,790 17
07/30/2006 10:02 PM
Dear Big,
Current state of residence does not a Southerner make. However, you have no excuse. Look to your right, I'm sure there is a can of hairspray and the smell of Portugese cooking.
Love,
Trae
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:03 PM
Dear Slinky,
I don't care, and you should ask one of the many queermofags for fashion advice.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:05 PM
Dear Trae,
You are Southern by injection. And there Portugese cooking is the misinterpretation of mine when my roommate's girlfriend said she wanted to see, "Eating Raul."
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Running with Scissors 3,510 12
07/30/2006 10:09 PM
Big,
Is Jesse Jackson right? Are all social problems in this country the fault of Whitey?
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:11 PM
Running with Scissors,
No, Jesse Jackson isn't running right, he needs to extend his stride more. All the problems are the fault of those who look for excuses.
Me
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Funny
8 votes
3.6
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A Chance to be Abe Vigodas Love Slave 171,275 14
07/30/2006 10:11 PM
Dearest BIG,
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, that is, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Signed,
Bored in Florida
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
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Running with Scissors 3,510 12
07/30/2006 10:12 PM
What's your excuse?
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Hilarious
14 votes
4.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:12 PM
Bored in Florida,
He'd chuck all day and chuck all night because Mrs. Woodchuck is an insufferable bitch.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494610
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:13 PM
Running,
"Excuse me"
Me
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.2
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Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/30/2006 10:15 PM
Like, a tiny Puff Daddy?
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:15 PM
P. Diddy's son?
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/30/2006 10:15 PM
Speaking of Whitey, Whitey Ford has a pretty cool websight.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:16 PM
Oh dear GOD, just because you have that icon, doesn't mean you are Erika.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
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Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/30/2006 10:16 PM
Oh, sorry.
Hey, BIG. Do you think that people should check out Whitey Ford's website?
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:17 PM
Dear Dogs,
Yes, I do.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494619
Ice-Cream Man (New Flavor!) 22 6
07/30/2006 10:17 PM
BIG,
How you be so short?
Love, The Insufferable Bitch
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494622
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:20 PM
Insufferable Bitch,
SPEAK ENGLISH YOU DUMB Frost-ing Carroll.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
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Midgets 96,092 48
07/30/2006 10:22 PM
Dear BIG,
Will this server ever function properly?
Will dragging my nuts along a ten dollar bill and mailing it to Jeff help?
Midgets
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Ice-Cream Man (New Flavor!) 22 6
07/30/2006 10:22 PM
BIG,
I love you. What does Dr. Phil reccomend?
Love, Icy: DooDoo
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494625
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:25 PM
Dear Midgets,
Once Hargrave has published his book and no longer needs a place for free advertising the server will be turned off, forever.
If you send a $10 covered in nut sweat to anyone, send it to Al. Maybe the gook can start a college fund for himself so he will quit bitching about not having a degree.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:25 PM
Icy:DooDoo,
Dr. Phil is a moron and a fag. Ask him because I am neither.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/30/2006 10:36 PM
Dear BIG,
How in the hell did I make it into the top 3 funniest this month?
Not really feeling funny,
Mr. Slinky
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Hilarious
15 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494634
DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
07/30/2006 10:39 PM
Dear BIG
Do I and my pitiful band of rebels stand any chance against the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station?
Signed,
"Troubled from Tatooine"
(PS: Time is a factor.)
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494636
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:43 PM
Dear Slinky,
The same way I became Funniest of the Month. Roofie, Fabs, Kake, Ollie, Erika, Mr. Sir, and Fratberry all started posting more on HoB than here.
Me
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Hilarious
12 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494637
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:44 PM
"Troubled from Tatooine",
The Canadian who deflowered the Floridian has proved anything is possible.
Me
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Funny
7 votes
3.5
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Filly 39,193 20
07/30/2006 10:44 PM
Dear God,
When did a very large stick become lodged up BIG's rectum?
Thanks,
Warren Filly
....I may not be playing this game right.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:46 PM
HAHAHAHA, the TWENTY year old is so Frost-ing funny.
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.4
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Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/30/2006 10:52 PM
Erika is in Philly and Sharri is in Connecticut
BIG,
What's the standard gratuity for stalking assistance?
Is a female midget considered 20%
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494646
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 10:54 PM
Dogs,
Sloppy seconds on the first and first chance to pee in the girl's butt on the second.
The female midget is 15%.
Me
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Magneto Kittuns 44,835 9
07/30/2006 10:58 PM
Dear BIG,
I have a rash on my no-no spot. Can you tell me what it is?
Kittuns
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494649
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:00 PM
Dear Kittuns,
I am going to need pictures to give a proper diagnosis.
Me
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
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Magneto Kittuns 44,835 9
07/30/2006 11:00 PM
Check your email and read the attachment.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494652
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:01 PM
Gifts will not get you better advice.
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Hilarious
19 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494653
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/30/2006 11:05 PM
GIFs will.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494654
Magneto Kittuns 44,835 9
07/30/2006 11:06 PM
Douche Dogs. Douche.
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
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Pained Soul 273 7
07/30/2006 11:13 PM
Dear BIG:
I have a suicidal friend that I love, but she told me straight out that she likes me as a friend.
What's the best date rape drug?
Sincerely,
me.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.6
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:14 PM
Dear Pained Soul,
Whiskey. Irish whiskey.
Me
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Funny
6 votes
3.5
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/30/2006 11:16 PM
Dear BIG,
I have this rash on my no-no spot. Should I send you the pictures to check and see if you can tell what it is?
Just a little trouble downtown,
Mr. Slinky
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Funny
10 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494664
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:18 PM
Dear Slinky,
No. Just send me the picture of the last two women you have slept with. If you can't get them, the police reports will be fine.
Me
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Amusing
3 votes
1.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494665
Miss Bitch 0 0
07/30/2006 11:19 PM
Dear Evil Wee Taco,
Why?
ME
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494668
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:22 PM
Dear Miss Bitch,
WRONG Frost-ing THREAD.
Me
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Funny
6 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494669
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/30/2006 11:25 PM
Dear BIG,
Who let the dogs out?
Always wanted to know,
Mr. Slinky
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494670
Sucks to be Straw 98,000 37
07/30/2006 11:25 PM
Dear BIG,
I've been monitoring this thread since it started, and I still can't think of a question to ask. What should I ask you?
Straw
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494671
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:26 PM
Dear Slinky,
Dogs gets let out by his wife.
Me
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494672
Sharribarri Falafel Ball Tamer 14,124 11
07/30/2006 11:26 PM
Dear Big,
I am about to subscribe to an online dating site. Should I?
On the edge of my seat,
Sharri in CT
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494673
Pained Soul 273 7
07/30/2006 11:27 PM
Dear Big,
I am about to subscribe to an online dating site. Should I?
On the edge of my seat,
Sharri in CT
Even on the internet,
no woman is dumb enough to date you.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494674
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:27 PM
Dear Straw,
You should ask, "What type of lube should I bring for my trip to NJ to ease the wiffleball bat raping?"
Me
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494675
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:29 PM
Dear Sharri,
You are a beautiful young lady and internet dating is beneath you.
Me
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494676
Evil Wee Taco 61,976 36
07/30/2006 11:30 PM
Dear Bitch,
Because Big said so, I only added the pleasant flash file to illustrate the concept for you.
Dear Big,
Sorry for Carroll-jacking your thread.
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494678
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:32 PM
Dear Taco,
Carroll jacking is always allow, as long as pictures are posted.
Me
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Amusing
3 votes
1.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494679
Miss Bitch 0 0
07/30/2006 11:33 PM
Dear BIG,
So why does Evil Wee Taco think I'm a Frost-ing Carroll?
ME
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494680
mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
07/30/2006 11:33 PM
Dear Big Sir,
Should I post my pic in the photo album yet, or is it too soon? If so, can you recommend someone who is good at photoshopping large boils?
Signed,
reluctant mariemarie
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Funny
6 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494682
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:34 PM
Dear Miss Bitch,
Taco has an uncanny ability to determine people's worth by their posts.
Me
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Funny
6 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494683
Sharribarri Falafel Ball Tamer 14,124 11
07/30/2006 11:36 PM
Dear Big,
Thanks for your prompt response. I will take your advice into consideration.
Now, can you recommend a good razor, I nicked myself this am and I'm a bleeder....
Still Sharri, Still in CT
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494684
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:37 PM
Dear mariemarie,
You should post your picture on the tits page first, then the ass page, then in the album.
For photoshopping the boils off your ass and breasticles, talk to No_Key or Yoshi or newwave.
Me
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494686
Midgets 96,092 48
07/30/2006 11:38 PM
Dear BIG,
Is it true, does it really happen to all guys?
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Funny
6 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494687
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:39 PM
Dear Sharri,
MACH 3 Turbo. Or a Yoon Chow Tae...
She's the Korean Waxer the hooker in my closet used.
Me
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494689
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:40 PM
Dear Midgets,
No, it doesn't. Not all men get random internet women to email them naked pictures and/or tickets to Yankee games.
Me
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494690
Midgets 96,092 48
07/30/2006 11:42 PM
<action>stomps away pouting</action>
Damn It!
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494691
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:42 PM
Dear Midgets,
The only men it does happen to are the ones Frost-ing ugly chicks.
Me
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494692
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/30/2006 11:44 PM
Dear BIG,
Aren't you getting tired of this yet?
Just pondering,
Mr. Slinky
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494693
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:45 PM
Dear Slinky,
This isn't a thread about how much noobs suck, how much I whine, how many people left, or idiots posting drivel.
No, I am not.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494694
Midgets 96,092 48
07/30/2006 11:50 PM
BIG,
____ HSbCl4 + ____ H2S --->
____ Sb2S3 + ____ HCl
Midgets
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494697
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:53 PM
Dear Midgets,
The answer to 3c. is 4.5x.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494699
Magneto Kittuns 44,835 9
07/30/2006 11:55 PM
tickets to Yankee games.
This dude sounds hot.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494700
Sucks to be Straw 98,000 37
07/30/2006 11:55 PM
Dear BIG,
Wonka bar or Ferrero Rocher?
Straw
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494701
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/30/2006 11:57 PM
Dear Straw,
Rocher Holiday Gift Box.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494719
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/31/2006 12:36 AM
I keep waiting for some guy in a bad tux to come out and say, "All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Big Irish Guy. He'll be here all week."
And then he'll bring out the strippers
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494722
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:40 AM
Dogs, you forget that Trae, Erika, Chance and Trixxie mostly post during the day.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494723
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/31/2006 12:41 AM
Yes. Yes, I did.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494731
Thud 68,497 19
07/31/2006 12:54 AM
Dear BIG,
Why the orange hat?
Thud
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494732
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:55 AM
Dear Thud,
It is a hat from the college I went to.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494737
mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
07/31/2006 12:59 AM
Dear Big Sir,
Why isn't there a photo album for penises? I guess what I'm asking is, would you like to see mine?
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494740
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 01:02 AM
mariemarie,
This is no penis album because it would require an adult rating. Those in charge of deciding the fate of GAB chose not to make it an adult site.
Sure. Send your penis pictures to john.truxillo@verizon.net.
Me
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494745
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/31/2006 01:11 AM
BIG,
You ever go to the Dinosaur Bar-b-que?
I mean the original one, of course.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494747
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 01:13 AM
Dogs,
If you mean the one in Syracuse, then yes, I spent a lot of time there when I was in school.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494748
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
07/31/2006 01:14 AM
You lucky bastard.
I mean, What is "You lucky bastard!" ?
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494751
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 01:19 AM
Dogs,
Someone who gets to experience the dive that is DBQ.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494760
Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/31/2006 01:30 AM
BIG:
Once we've moved to Ohio and are settled, I'm going to form a new band. I was going to call it Plug Ugly Fife Band. My wife says no one will want to join or hire a band with that name.
What do you think?
W.P.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494762
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 01:35 AM
W.P.
Pug Ugly Fife Band grants one the imagery of the Irish and their struggles in New York when the arrived to escape the potato famine.
My advice, don't move to Ohio.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494765
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/31/2006 01:39 AM
Dear BIG,
I heard word of a band being called Pug Ugly Fife Band moving to the state of Ohio. I wanted to start up the fife just to join the band. You told them to not move to Ohio, so should I not take up practice of the fife?
Fife player to be (maybe),
Mr. Slinky
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494766
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 01:43 AM
Dear Slinky,
If you live in Ohio, you should move. If you want to learn the fife, try becoming a college professor, apparently chicks love fife playin' college professors.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494783
Blueleprechaun 13,144 10
07/31/2006 03:51 AM
Dear Big,
Penguin or beer?
~Blueleprechaun
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494787
Pokeyhollis 346 8
07/31/2006 04:28 AM
Dear Big,
Why is my penis so short?
Thanks,
Pokey from Ohio
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494795
Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/31/2006 06:26 AM
BIG, you pegged it exactly! That's what I'm going for - a kind of Gangs of New York thing. And we'll dress in civilian clothes of the 1870's, with bowler hats, brocade waistcoats and whatnot.
And Slinky, we are coming to Ohio, despite BIG's advice. So get a fife and get practicing. I'll give you some lessons when we get there. Chicks really do seem to dig fife playing professors. Get yourself a tweed jacket and grow some grey facial hair.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494796
Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/31/2006 06:28 AM
Oh. And it's Plug Ugly. Not pug.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494811
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:30 AM
Blueleprechaun,
A little but of both.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494812
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:31 AM
Pokey,
It's not, you're girlfriend/wife's vagina is just HUGE from having a lot of sex with black men.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494814
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:32 AM
Oh. And it's Plug Ugly. Not pug.
When Slinky joins, it will be pug.
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Funny
7 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494826
Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
07/31/2006 08:50 AM
Dear BIG,
If, hypothetically, one was taking a brief sojourn in another country and was confronted with the options of sightseeing and hunting down internet strangers in a deadly game of cat and mouse, which would you recommend?
In Anticipation
Nachos
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Funny
9 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494827
A Chance to be Abe Vigodas Love Slave 171,275 14
07/31/2006 08:51 AM
BIG,
Why do I sometimes pee when I cough? Why cant the pee just stay in? STAY IN PEE! WHY OH WHY?
Pissed on in FL.
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Funny
8 votes
3.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494831
Take a Chance on Chickens 286,539 61
07/31/2006 08:56 AM
Dear Big,
Why do we guys get born, then spend the rest of our lives trying to get back in?
Post Partem Depressed in NC
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494832
Phuc 237,919 21
07/31/2006 08:58 AM
Dear BIG,
If were in chat and laffoutloud549 said that Chance Frosted Cracka, would my testimony be heresay in divorce court?
--Gookamunga
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494834
A Chance to be Abe Vigodas Love Slave 171,275 14
07/31/2006 09:02 AM
WAIT! THIS JUST BROUGHT UP A CHI CHI POST! I AM NOT GOING CRAZY!
Phuc,
I did not have sexual relations with that cracker.
Me
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494848
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:21 AM
Dear Nachos,
Try hunting internet strangers that live near points of interest. That way you can kill two birds with one stone.
Me
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494849
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:22 AM
Dear "Pissed on",
Try stapling your flappy cooch shut.
Me
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494851
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:23 AM
Dear "Post Partem",
Because vagina is wonderful.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494852
SAVVY: Knife Thrower 4,599 8
07/31/2006 09:24 AM
Dear BIG,
Is it red or white wine with Coleridge?
Insincerely,
SAV
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494853
Sharribarri Falafel Ball Tamer 14,124 11
07/31/2006 09:24 AM
<action>wispers Big lives near NYC, just sayin'</action>
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Funny
8 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494854
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:25 AM
Dear Gookamunga,
Yes, but feel free to start a chain letter about it. If you email it to Jilly, the whole internet will probably get it within three days.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494855
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/31/2006 09:26 AM
Dear BIG,
I live in Maryland and not Ohio. Now Whistler and everyone else think I'm going to start playing the fife. Is there any way you can let them down easy for me?
Troubled in paradise,
Mr. Slinky
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Funny
7 votes
3.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494856
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:27 AM
Dear Sav,
I am not really a wine conissieur and have never had teh Coleridge. But from what I understand, red wine with dark meat, white wine with white meat.
Me
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494859
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:29 AM
Dear Slinky,
Just let them know that you are allergic to tweed, and your dreams of becoming a fife playing professor have been dashed. So instead you are going to spend your days NOT hanging out with Gorckat.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494862
Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
07/31/2006 09:34 AM
Dear BIG,
Follow-up question:
Assuming that one's focal point is New York, should the killing spree start in concentric circles working outwards to both coasts, or would it be best to start at the coasts and work inwards?
In Readiness
Nachos
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Hilarious
16 votes
4.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494866
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:42 AM
Dear Nachos,
If you are looking to "meet" the most GABbers, start in Maine and work your way down the coast. Millie and Daiypie in Maine; Hargrave, Al, Frogpop, Dianada, Turtle, Kake, Nutbutter are in the Boston area (if you tell CG an underaged GABbette is in town, he'll be there, too); Fabs is in New Hampshire; Sharri is in CT; Dogs and Beebs are in the NYC area; Erika is in Philly; Gork and Slinky are in Maryland.
The trip can be made in a day if you are not worried about body disposal, and you can see some cool stuff along the way.
Or if you want to kill all the GAB losers, just unplug the server in Boston and watch for news reports of people dying in front of their computers after hitting the refresh button 6,243,276,983 times.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494896
Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
07/31/2006 10:57 AM
Dear Big Irish Guy,
How can a nOOb dud like me become a comedy stud like you?
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494899
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 10:59 AM
Dear Larry,
Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Practice one-liners in real world situations, push the envelope until you get into a fight or make someone cry.
Or just commit suicide. I would 5-orb you for that.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494906
Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
07/31/2006 11:04 AM
I'm headed out for some ammo and a case of whiskey, anyone need anything?
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494908
Aimless 54,807 10
07/31/2006 11:04 AM
Dear Big,
I'm runnng low on cash and need to sell my kid. Chicken's is full up until one of the foster kills themselves & Ollie doensn't need another until he finds somewhere to hide the body of the current one. I need the cash fast. Where else can I get top dollar for a white american baby girl?
Thanks,
Need's money for crack and Boone's Farm in Iowa
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494910
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 11:10 AM
Dear "Need's money for crack and Boone's Farm in Iowa",
Have you thought about selling the offspring to a couple in Texas? I know there must be people looking to start a family but the husband just can't get it done.
Or if you want to stay in-state, have you thought about selling the child for spare parts?
If neither of these options seem like a good idea, maybe you should have gotten married before you got pregnant you pagan whore.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494913
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/31/2006 11:16 AM
Dear BIG,
...
...
..Ahhh- I got nothing.
Lupie.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494917
Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
07/31/2006 11:18 AM
Dear BIG,
What's the best way to dispose of the body of an Irish lawyer?
Hugs and Kisses
Nachos
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494933
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 11:42 AM
Dear Nachos,
Light a match, toss at lawyer, enjoy the fire created by the high alcohol content in the lawyer's blood.
Me
P.S. Don't forget the marshmellows
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494944
Loopy -tying her knot 6,902 12
07/31/2006 11:59 AM
Dear Big,
Is this thread a really well executed attempt at getting lots of clickies?
How long does one have to be here to not be considered a Noob?
Love
me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494945
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:06 PM
Dear loopy,
Pretty much this is just a whorb thread.
Also, you a re no longer a n00b when you are accepted by the majority of the regulars and have been around for a bit. Now, according to Nutbutter and Al, we are all noobs, FOR.EVAH. But those senile old Frosts don't really matter anymore.
Since you've been around for a bit, and I still remember you used to be in mechanic's school, but then quit two weeks before you finished, I declare you are no longer a n00b.
That doesn't mean much though, most people jsut think I'm an Emerson.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494947
Loopy -tying her knot 6,902 12
07/31/2006 12:13 PM
Dear Big,
You are now my hero. I will kiss your big irish ass at every chance. In exchange, I expect you have my back (a little bit) if ever i am being harassed.
Love
me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494950
UnderHaggis! 101,398 77
07/31/2006 12:16 PM
Dear BIG:
My husband and I currently live in Texas, but next month we're packing up and moving to Western NY. I'm unsure of the etiquette involved - am I required to send out "change of address" cards to my stalkers?
Thanks,
Holly
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494953
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:20 PM
Dear Loopy,
The noticable lack of question marks leads me to believe that you did not have a question for me to give advice on. For this error, please send naked pictures of you to me...or SD, because its his birthday, or Erika's grandmother.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494956
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:21 PM
Dear "Holly",
Just leave a note in the bushes outside of your house. Emails to close personal friends are acceptable, or a phone call if you talk on an everyday basis. Change of address cards to everyone on your Christmas card list.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494957
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/31/2006 12:22 PM
Dear BIG,
Are you going to answer Undies' question? Because I'll need that change of address form.
-Lupie
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494959
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:24 PM
Dear Lupe,
You suck at teh interwebs.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494963
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
07/31/2006 12:26 PM
It took me too long to post that due to the wolf licking the bottoms of my feet.
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Funny
9 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494965
Phuc 237,919 21
07/31/2006 12:27 PM
Dear BIG,
When your bloated carcass washes up on the banks of the Passaic and the coroner can't tell if the cause of death was cirrosis, an upper GI embolism, or the 27 bullets still embedded in your torso---
can I have your computer?
-- Mello Yello
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494966
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:27 PM
YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FEET?!?!!eleventy11!!!
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1494970
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 12:30 PM
Dear Mello Yellow,
Yes. But you have to attend the wake because I know how much you love drunk Irish people.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495143
Het Hoofd van de pompoen 56,642 8
07/31/2006 03:02 PM
Dear Big-
In the name "Oliver Chest Eats Baby Turds", is this implying Oliver Chest eats turds made by babies? Oliver eats small turds? Or "STFU you stupid, mellonheaded n00b)
(yes, it's a trick question)
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495147
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 03:06 PM
Dear "Yes, its a trick question",
You are a Frost-ing Carrollstain for questioning anything that Ollie does. Your only responsibility is to click his posts and acknowledge his superior comedic ability.
My advice, stop posting for 3 weeks.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495148
Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
07/31/2006 03:07 PM
Dearest BIG,
What should I do tonight at midnight to celebrate my birthday: Go to this awesome tiki bar and drink big blue drinks, or go to Atlantic City?
-Almost 21 in Jersey
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495152
Loopy -tying her knot 6,902 12
07/31/2006 03:09 PM
Dear Big,
Same question
-Almost 21 in Missouri
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495164
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 03:14 PM
Almost 21 in NJ,
This is a very difficult question. I am tempted to suggest a trip to North Jersey, but you probably want to be 21 for at least 24 hours before you die.
My advice, save the trip to AC for a night when your goal isn't going to be getting blacked out drunk. Tiki bar and drinks with non-Asian friends until the sun comes up.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495166
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 03:18 PM
Almost 21 in Missouri,
Since I doubt there are tiki bars in the "Show Me" State, and you aren't going to be going to Atlantic City, you are a moron.
But to answer what I am guessing your questions is, find someone to take you out to a nice place for dinner. Then go to a local hole in the wall pub and drink until you are topless and in nothing but your panties. Hope Roofie is there, and experience lesbian love as it should be experienced.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495240
Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
07/31/2006 04:56 PM
Dogs and Beebs are in the NYC area
Dear BIG,
What am I, chopped liver?
W.P.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495243
SAVVY: Knife Thrower 4,599 8
07/31/2006 04:59 PM
Dear BIG,
Is Whistler chopped liver, and if so, can I eat him?
S.K.T.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495245
Loopy -tying her knot 6,902 12
07/31/2006 05:00 PM
Dear Big,
What is Zaphod's beef with me? My mom told me that boy who tease me really like me. Is this right? Also, Is there a limit to how many questions can be asked?
Dani
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495246
Phuc 237,919 21
07/31/2006 05:05 PM
Dear BIG,
When are you gonna release the secret stash of nekkid photos of Erika?
-- Pulling it in Vain
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495249
Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
07/31/2006 05:09 PM
<action>adds Whistler to 'the list'</action>Dear BIG,
Don't try to hide anyone from me, it just makes the hunt all the sweeter.
Locking and Loading
Nachos
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495258
Art Garfunkle 26,981 11
07/31/2006 05:37 PM
Dear BIG,
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
- Me.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495260
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 05:38 PM
W.P.
I put you in a catagory of saved liver.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495262
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 05:39 PM
SKT,
You can play with his fife if he lets you.
Me
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Funny
6 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495263
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 05:41 PM
Dani
Beebs is angry because he can't get a job. Your mother is a whore so she probably knows what guys want. No limit on questions.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495264
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 05:42 PM
Dear "Pulling it in Vain",
Those pictures will be released the day after naked pictures of Jade Hargrave are posted.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495266
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 05:42 PM
Art,
No.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495270
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 06:02 PM
Nachos,
I thought you wanted a challenge, not an old man likely to break a hip.
Me
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495275
Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
07/31/2006 06:08 PM
Dear BIG,
Do you really think Satan cares just which souls he gets?
Yours in a goat-hide
Nachos
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495277
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 06:09 PM
Dear Nachos,
Yes, that's why all blacks and latinos are criminals.
Me
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495280
Sharribarri Falafel Ball Tamer 14,124 11
07/31/2006 06:12 PM
Dear Big,
My computer's wallpaper is a pic of my feet in the surf at a beach. Today, a co-worker pretended to be turned on by it and licked my computer screen. I threw up in my mouth. And then into my rubbish bin.
Since you're a lush and I'm pretty sure you're used to cleaning up after a heavy night of drinking, how do I get rid of the smell?
Still grossed out,
Sharri
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495283
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 06:14 PM
Sharri,
Wash your feet.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495287
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/31/2006 06:32 PM
Dear Big,
Why does Sharri get so grossed out when I lick her computer screen?
Foot Connoisseur,
Mr. Slinky
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495290
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 06:36 PM
Slinky,
Because she likes to pick her nose and wipe it on the screen.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495292
Sharribarri Falafel Ball Tamer 14,124 11
07/31/2006 06:37 PM
Pants! I like to wipe it on my pants!
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495294
Loopy -tying her knot 6,902 12
07/31/2006 06:39 PM
Dear Big,
When will the people who run zug fix the server and finally get a new hampster?
Frustrated in the midwest
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495295
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 06:40 PM
You fly to Sweden to wipe your snot on a person of questionable sexual orientation?
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495296
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 06:41 PM
Frusterated in the midwest,
More sex, less internet, no worries.
My advice, lots of anal.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495297
Sharribarri Falafel Ball Tamer 14,124 11
07/31/2006 06:45 PM
Dear Big,
I have a white bumper sticker that has an "I (heart)__________"
What should go in the "__________" space?
Eagerly awaiting your response!
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495298
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 06:48 PM
Sharri,
"My Virginity"
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495299
McPants drinks because he's Swedish 19,555 11
07/31/2006 06:49 PM
You fly to Sweden to wipe your snot on a person of questionable sexual orientation?
That would not be as highly appreciated as one might think. I just showered, dammit.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495300
Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
07/31/2006 06:50 PM
Dear BIG:
Is that a Twisted Sisterpin on your uniform?
Who are you? Where do you come from? What do you want to do with your life?
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495301
A Chance to be Abe Vigodas Love Slave 171,275 14
07/31/2006 06:50 PM
Hey! I have a bumper sticker that says "I love Sharri's virginity"!
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495304
Cracka? I barely even touched her! 68,758 11
07/31/2006 06:56 PM
Dear BIG,
Is Phuc always so pissed because he has a small penis, or because he is jealous of me and Chances cybersex relationship. And if it is option two, who the Frost would be jealous of that?
Can't believe nobody has caught Slinky self clicking yet.
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Funny
4 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495306
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 07:05 PM
Dear "Can't believe nobody has caught Slinky self clicking yet",
Al's made because the white man has been holding him down, and giving him and Indian burn.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495308
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 07:07 PM
Dear Donk,
No, me, a vagina, waste it like the rest of my generation.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495309
Cracka? I barely even touched her! 68,758 11
07/31/2006 07:10 PM
Dear BIG,
Are you sure it's not the small penis thing?
Just curious,
The only guy never to have sex with a sheep in Texas.
I swear.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495311
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 07:12 PM
Dear "The only guy never to have sex with a sheep in Texas",
It might also be because Erika is no longer sleeping with an Asian, and he knows his window of opportunity has closed.
Me
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495316
Pedo the CIown 68,758 11
07/31/2006 07:18 PM
Dear BIG,
What's the best way to get blood out of a clown suit?
Yours'
Not a pedofile clown
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495317
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 07:19 PM
Dear "Not a pedofile clown",
The tears of the innocent and an environmental friendly detergent.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495341
Sucks to be Straw 98,000 37
07/31/2006 08:12 PM
BIG,
Could you find out when Nachos is going to be laying waste to the northeast? I'm making two trips up there in the next few months and I want to know if there's a scheduling conflict. I would ask him myself, but I prefer cowering in fear behind your largeness.
Regards,
Straw (is a girl, dammit!)
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495342
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:17 PM
Straw,
Nachos will be here when his plane lands.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495344
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/31/2006 08:20 PM
Dear BIG,
Why is Cracka's head so far up his own ass to believe that I'm clicking myself? Was it because of the lack of loving as a child or was it because he came out of his mother's womb as a retard? Or do you know why?
Truely Astonished Here,
Mr. Slinky
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495345
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:21 PM
Dear Slinky,
My advice for you is to bang Taco when you are in Atlanta and don't let the internet turn you into a faggot.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495347
I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
07/31/2006 08:22 PM
Dear Big,
200th to post!
Why does this thread have almost 3,000 orbs?
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495348
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:26 PM
Taco,
My advice is to read all the other thread, then re-read this thread. You will then understand the comparative funny orb theory.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495353
Ice-Cream Man (New Flavor!) 22 6
07/31/2006 08:28 PM
BIG,
I asked a duracell battery what they thought of me, and they rolled off the table! WHAT CAN I DO?!
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Funny
6 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495354
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:30 PM
Ice-cream Man,
My advice is to put the batteries back in the remote before your father comes home and beats you until your unconscious then lets your crazy uncle have his way with you.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495356
Running with Scissors 3,510 12
07/31/2006 08:31 PM
Dear Big,
What is the difference between a sofa and a couch? ....Besides the fact that they are spelled differently.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495358
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:31 PM
Dear BIG,
Learn that its they're.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495361
I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
07/31/2006 08:32 PM
Dear Big,
"You're" too.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495362
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:38 PM
Running,
As a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn't a square, so is a couch a sofa, yet a sofa is not a couch.
Me
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495364
Pedo the CIown 68,758 11
07/31/2006 08:50 PM
Dear BIG,
Isn't it true that when you make fun of someone about self clicking in a purely joking way and then they get all defensive and try to come back with a lame retard joke, that they are in reality self clicking and that's why they got defensive.
And that makes them gay too, right?
Cracka
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495368
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 08:52 PM
Dear Cracka,
My advice for you is to bang Taco when you are in Atlanta and don't let the internet turn you into a faggot.
Me
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Funny
8 votes
3.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495371
Phuc 237,919 21
07/31/2006 09:09 PM
Dear BIG,
Should I let Mrs. Cracka know of her husband's online affair via email, postal mail, or by showing up at her door with my small dick wrapped in a bow?
-- Flirt Police
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495374
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 09:11 PM
Dear Flirt Police,
My advice for you is to bang Taco when you are in Atlanta and don't let the internet turn you into a faggot.
Then show up at her doorstep with your dick in a bow, holding a sledgehammer in one hand, and an expired buy on get one free card from Starbucks.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495400
Sucks to be Straw 98,000 37
07/31/2006 09:59 PM
Then show up at her doorstep with your dick in a bow, holding a sledgehammer in one hand,
Dear BIG,
Does this mean she lives in Bangkok? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!
Here's the gun. You do the honors.
Imminently dead,
Straw
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495401
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 10:01 PM
Straw,
My advice is to drink more and have lots of sex. You need it, really, you do.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495407
Pedo the CIown 68,758 11
07/31/2006 10:05 PM
Dear BIG,
Being that both my wife and myself are from Texas, we shoot any minority that shows up on our front door. Dick with a bow on it or not. Is that wrong. Plus, It's not cheating if you cum in their ass right?
Cracka McFaithful
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495411
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 10:08 PM
Dear Cracka,
My advice is to Frost your wife until she is gurgling sperm. Then have her make you a sammich. Then watch a sporting event.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495412
Crackalope 68,758 11
07/31/2006 10:12 PM
Dear BIG,
I took your advice. It worked out great. Didn't take very long did it?
Cracka
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495413
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 10:13 PM
Dear Cracka,
My advice is to sport-Frost local high school girls while your wife videotapes and applauds in the background.
Me
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495421
Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
07/31/2006 11:04 PM
Dear BIG,
Why are the Amish so smelly? Don't they know that cleanliness is next to Godliness? I bet God doesn't like to stand near them.
Noseclip Afficianado
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495426
Phuc 237,919 21
07/31/2006 11:13 PM
Dear BIG,
Who's the chick with the green titties?
-- Sreepress in Boston
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495430
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 11:17 PM
Dear Noseclip Afficianado,
God hates the Amish and has banished them to a place without zippers or iPods. They smell because of a genetic defect that causes nostril hair to grow in thick mangy clumps, blocking their nasal passages. That's why all Amish are non-zipper wearin' mouthbreathers.
Me
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495432
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 11:21 PM
Dear Sreepress,
She is the Goddess of teh GAB. She has powers to control the photo album and has been known to cause severe groin injuries after walking past groups of men in tight fitting pants.
Although not the first to show her boobs, she was the best.
But you can call her Roofie, Ms. Raccoon if you're nasty.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495436
Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
07/31/2006 11:26 PM
Or should I kill Pram?
Out of material already?
I can count on my fingers how many times I was mentioned in this thread before I even posted in it. In fact, why don't you count with me? one, two, two and two thirds, three...
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495439
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
07/31/2006 11:30 PM
I was counting on my left hand so HA!
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495440
Midgets 96,092 48
07/31/2006 11:30 PM
Dear Big,
Why must Pram defile everything beautiful.
Midgets
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495441
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 11:51 PM
Midgets,
He was beaten as a child and craves the negative attention.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495442
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
07/31/2006 11:58 PM
Heh.
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495449
I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/01/2006 12:19 AM
Big,
Exactly how many people do you plan on inviting to bang me at GABlanta? I need to know if I ought to consider hiring a stunt double.
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Hilarious
12 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495451
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 12:22 AM
Taco,
My advice for you is to bang Taco when you are in Atlanta and don't let the internet turn you into a faggot.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495452
Midgets 96,092 48
08/01/2006 12:24 AM
Dear Big,
Where can I get high quality footage of Taco banging Taco in Atlanta?
Midgets
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495453
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 12:25 AM
The Not Erika Cleft Lip Icon,
My advice is to enjoy yourself, but realize that GAB is much like high school. Although a simple comment made in an IM conversation might not seem like a big deal, there are people who will gossip about it behind your back.
Just remember, take plenty of picture to blackmail everyone else with. Also, its been two months since you sent me any pictures, Frost-ing slacker.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495454
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 12:27 AM
Midgets,
My advice is to search for porn stores in Atlanta, since I don't know where you can get anything in Atlanta.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495457
I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/01/2006 12:34 AM
Big,
I just want you to know, if you just IMed me moonlighting as Pram, you're a son of a bitch. But you will make one hell of a lawyer.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495458
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 12:36 AM
Taco,
My advice is to look at my email address, and realize its the same for my YIM account.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495486
Pained Soul 273 7
08/01/2006 03:38 AM
Dear BIG:
Does "BIG" stand for "Bitch In GAB"?
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495496
Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/01/2006 05:17 AM
Of course not. It stands for
Boastfully Important Gherkin.
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495538
Phuc 237,919 21
08/01/2006 08:43 AM
Dear BIG,
How can I advance tunefulness in a world of bland corporate "music" that is adored by millions of clueless consumers who worship Carson Daly?
-- Splam Glaven
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495555
The Chance 171,275 14
08/01/2006 08:52 AM
Dear BIG,
If I bang Taco in gablanta, does that mean the internet has turned me into a fag?
Hugs and kisses,
Me
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495589
ThirstyMcsurly, best served on the rocks 4,444 12
08/01/2006 09:44 AM
Dear BIG:
Does "BIG" stand for "Bitch In GAB"?
Big Irish Guy...as if it wern't obvious from his humor aka alcoholism.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495591
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 09:54 AM
Dear Chance,
No, it means Taco is sore and her vagina needs to get a soothing tonguing. You might be a faggot though.
Me
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495594
Phuc 237,919 21
08/01/2006 09:59 AM
Dear BIG,
GAB's retard quotient multiplied by a bazillion this morning. Is there anything we can do to keep the spread of toxic downe's syndrome from infecting the entire board and turning it into a mesh bag of stupid?
-- I Forget My Name Now
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495595
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 10:00 AM
Dear Splam Glaven,
Please get in line behind the hipsters, jazzophiles, Gregorian techno chant remix fans, and the emo kids.
If you feel the need to get validation from the mainstream, specifically through record sales, you are a Frost-ing joke. Don't make it seem like you are all about the music and complain that the ignorant masses don't know what good music is. If you believe in the music you play, playing it is the reward. Assclown.
Me
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495596
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 10:01 AM
Dear Sharri,
That rocks, but there was a noticable lack of a question.
Me
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495597
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 10:03 AM
Dear "I Forgot My Name",
FDISK. Its not like the server was any good anyway.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495682
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
08/01/2006 01:40 PM
Dear BIG,
Why is it called "Extra Virgin" olive oil?
-slip sliding away in MN.
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495683
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 01:44 PM
Dear "slip sliding",
Extra Virgin olive oil was mostly used by Italians when cooking garlic-y foods. Parents would feed their young daughters many dishes with this garlic and olive oil mix. The overpowering smell would keep both hairy Italian men and vampires away. Making their daughters not just virgin, but extra virgin.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495685
Mr Fook 4,016 9
08/01/2006 01:45 PM
Dear BIG,
My brother likes beets but not spinach. He likes apples but not pears. He likes jeeps but not caravans. He likes Sally but not Susie. Will he like Jimmy or Joe?
Respectfully,
Mr. Eff
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495688
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 01:53 PM
Dear "Mr. Elf",
Your brother most likely suffers from a case of Imagination Gland Overactivity. He feels his "quarky" decisions will make him stand out as an individual. Tell him that like masturbating to the Lifetime channel, this is just a phase he needs to grow out of. Reinforce this lesson by beating him with a sock full of Buffalo nickels.
Me
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495689
Crackaroni & Cheese 68,758 11
08/01/2006 01:56 PM
Dear BIG,
I have this cyber girlfriend named Chance Jane. Well, we used to talk about our feelings, and hopes, and dreams and stuff like that. Now all she wants to do is cyber and talk about sticking high heels up my ass. Should I just go with the flow, or tell her how I feel?
Not Cracka
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495690
Mr Fook 4,016 9
08/01/2006 01:58 PM
Oh Big, you're such a wonderful lad.
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495691
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 02:00 PM
Dear "Not Cracka",
The internet is not for forming adult relationships, it is for getting women to show you their naked bodies. "Jane" might think you are a faggot for wanting to talk about your feelings. Don't worry though, the person you think is "Jane" is probably a 45 year-old man with a criminal record, an unstable personality, and a penchant for Hello Kitty dolls.
My advice is to bang Taco when you are in Atlanta and don't let the internet turn you into a faggot.
Me
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495692
Mr Fook 4,016 9
08/01/2006 02:06 PM
Dear Big,
My girlfriend just recently died. How can I keep the body fresh?
Sincerely,
Fook.
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495693
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 02:12 PM
Dear "Fook",
The best way to keep the body fresh is to make an incision in the lower back and remove all internal organs, then fill the body with ice. Place body in a refrigerated area that has a Glade Plug-In constantly running. This will keep the body fresh for three to fouor weeks, or twice as long as your actual relationship.
The bonuses of this technique is the ice will cause the orifices to contract, making them tighter, and will give the realistic feel that the frigid bitch is still alive.
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Funny
6 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495694
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 02:12 PM
Signed,
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495696
The Chance 171,275 14
08/01/2006 02:19 PM
Tee Hee.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495732
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
08/01/2006 03:29 PM
Dear BIG,
I've just finished cleaning the gutters during a downpour and am soaking wet. Is it too early for a beer, or should I shower and change first?
-The domestic slave woman
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495735
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 03:32 PM
Dear "Domestic Slave",
My advice is to drink the beer in the shower.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495772
ShinyGnome 27 6
08/01/2006 04:21 PM
Dear BIG,
What are Grape Nuts? Are grapes being castrated and served as food?
-[Insert funny name here]
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495776
Sharribarri 14,124 11
08/01/2006 04:28 PM
He likes Jimmy better!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495779
Phuc 237,919 21
08/01/2006 04:42 PM
Dear BIG,
I was looking for a 2x4 with a giant nail in it and I found this lumpy mesh bag in the closet. It stinks like moldy ass.
How much you think I can get on eBay for that?
-- WillyNilly
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495796
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 05:06 PM
Dear "[insert funny name here]",
My advice about GrapeNuts is simple. If you are a guy, don't eat them, unless the internet has turned you into a faggot and you like NUTZ ON YOUR FACE and in your mouth. If you are a woman, it doesn't really matter, because you probably don't have any self-esteem.
Now, to answer your question. GrapeNuts are part of the cereal companies conspiracy to steal the heritage of the Mythological Unicycling Author's Union/ Local #218. In its original form GrapeNuts were actually, Gra Pen Uts. Gra being the head of the order of Single Wheel Elks, Toledo Chapter, also the great grandfather of Phla. Pen is for pen mother-Froster. And Uts is of course the shortened 1337 form of "you tease", an acknowledgement of the pre-mating rituals of the emu worshiping cult.
So don't eat GrapeNuts.
Me
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Funny
6 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495799
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 05:09 PM
Dear WillyNilly,
$20, same as in town. Unless it smells like Louisiana ass, then you are doomed to a life of watching an Ann Coulter documentary with a soundtrack by Chumbawumba.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495802
Kittuns in a tube 44,835 9
08/01/2006 05:23 PM
Dear BIG,
I've been doing a lot of thinking about Gab on Zug and think it may be a hinderance on my social life. Besides the notable exceptions (Donk and Jane/Spicey and Undies) by posting here, aren't we all doomed to a lonely existance? If I stop posting, what do I do with my new free time?
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495833
Undies 101,398 77
08/01/2006 06:09 PM
BIG,
My house in NY has a big 2 story barn. When I left last year, there was a cute and fuzzy woodchuck that lived under it. I used to drink Smirnoff and take pictures of it while watching it eat clover in the back acre.
Anyway, my ex has informed me that it had babies and now there are four woodchucks living under the barn. The place is now riddled with holes and they're becoming more aggressive.
I am opposed to shooting them or hurting them, but I need to get the little Frosters off my property. What should I do?
Thanks,
Undies
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495834
Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
08/01/2006 06:18 PM
Dear BIG,
I have a unnatural to Woodchucks. The thought of their small furry bodies arouses me more than I can put into words. I especially like one with a bit of spirit that will latch onto my nutsack as I shake them vigorously from side to side. However, this pales in the sheer pleasure of sodomising them and then eating them like a twinkie.
Do you know anywhere I could obtain such creatures with, if possible, a will audience?
I'm stroking already.
Nachos
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495836
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:21 PM
Dear Kittuns,
Posting here in no way means you are doomed to a loney existance. You need to remember that GAB is not the dead baby of life, it is the dead baby joke of life. to explain it differently, it still probably wouldn't make sense.
My advice is to go forth, with a fifth, and grab the world by the balls. And by world I mean the first cute guy you see. Drag him back to your apartment and make him your man-slave. The upside is that even if you do get caught, you'll make plenty of friends while being traded for cigarettes in prison.
If you really feel the need to stop posting, you can always find a new hobby, like calling Time Life operators and asking them if they have thought about filing a grievance for having to "stand by" all day. Then suggest a nice place they can get some chairs.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495837
Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
08/01/2006 06:21 PM
Dear BIG,
Why can't I seem to make a coherent post on GAB these days?
Yours contemplating Ritalin,
Nachos
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495840
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:24 PM
Dear "Sarah",
My advice is to relax and try and enjoy it. If you want to show your partner they you really love him and are willing to give him your body totally, just remember, don't think about how disappointed your parents would be if they ever knew you were a complete whore who has getting banged in the ass. It might ruin the moment.
Me
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495849
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:28 PM
Dear Undies,
The little rodent has taken to mocking your inability to have 3 children at once because it knows you wouldn't be able to feed them all at the same time since the third nipple is non-functioning.
My advice is to buy a puma. When it is finished with the woodchucks, release him in your ex-husband's house/apartment/condo/van down by the river.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495851
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:30 PM
Dear Nachos,
My advice is to bang Taco when you are in Atlanta and don't let the internet turn you into a faggot.
Just remember to bring a wool sweater for her to wear.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495858
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
08/01/2006 06:37 PM
My Dearest BIG,
I'm getting really drunk. Is that OK?
-Lupience
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495859
Kittuns in a tube 44,835 9
08/01/2006 06:37 PM
Wow BIG, you're a regular old Anne Frank with your advice.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495861
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:39 PM
Dear Lupience,
My advice is to keep drinking until you lose your computer.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495864
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
08/01/2006 06:42 PM
Dear BIG,
You're a complete Frostasstwatwaffleclowntard.
Did you know that?
Signed-
No sex for you, ever.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495865
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:45 PM
Dear "no sex for you, ever",
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495869
Undies 101,398 77
08/01/2006 06:51 PM
Dear BIG,
Should I go and get some DBQ the moment I arrive in NY, or should I let Spicey sodemize me with his huge Coleridge first? Both of them bring me a lot of pleasure, and I'm not sure which one I'd rather enjoy.
Also, would you like me to send you some sauce? Depending on your answer to the first question, there might be some available.
Thanks,
Undies
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495871
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
08/01/2006 06:53 PM
Dear Undies,
BIG is losing it.
How 'bout a peanut butter sammich?
Later,
-Whoever.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495872
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:54 PM
Dear Undies,
My advice is to get some DBQ first. Any left over sauce can be used as lube. That way you can save the money you were going to use on lube to buy me some bleach so I can scrub that visual out of my mind.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495874
Undies 101,398 77
08/01/2006 06:56 PM
Lupie,
The last time I played with peanut butter, I got a rash on my breasticles.
I'll stick with Spicey and the DBQ,
Thanks,
Holly
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495875
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/01/2006 06:58 PM
Dear BIG,
Tell Undies I want a bottle of the spiciest DBQ sauce available. Tell her that she'll have to cover the costs of shipping and handling because I'm not wasting money on internet strangers until Atlanta.
Kthanxurapeach,
Mr. Slinky
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495876
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 06:59 PM
Dear Slinky,
My advice is to actually ask a question. Moron.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495879
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
08/01/2006 07:03 PM
God! You'd think some people actually had a clue.
So how do you feel about sammiches in trade for boobie pics?
-Lupie.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495881
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 07:05 PM
Dear "Lupie",
My advice is send my sammiches and boob pictures.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495882
Ditdah 123,110 14
08/01/2006 07:15 PM
Dear BIG,
Why am I afraid any advice you give me will involve you telling me God hates me?
Love,
The Stupid Dyke
PS - "Because he does" is a blow-off answer.
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Funny
7 votes
3.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495883
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 07:21 PM
Dear "Stupid Dyke",
Your fear is based on personal insecurity. You need to realize that my God might hate you, but I am sure there is a God out there that is down with the lesbian love making.
My advice is to do some soul searching, Google might help. Try to become secure with your sexual tendencies, because even lesbians need to get laid more than on their birthdays. Another way that you can confirm to yourself that you are on the right path is to have sex with a man. I suggest either a Southern Republican or a hippie from the Northwest.
There is a God that loves you for being a lesbian. That whole "dating a black chick" thing, every God hates you for that.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495890
Sucks to be Straw 98,000 37
08/01/2006 07:35 PM
BIG,
I am in awe of how long this thread has continued, and yet is still so very satisfying. To what do you owe your incredible staying power?
Straw
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495896
Pained Soul 273 7
08/01/2006 07:41 PM
Dear BIG:
What's the best way to commit suicide?
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495901
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 07:42 PM
Dear Straw,
There are many theories behind my staying ability...wait, no, those are support beams behind my couch. I thank you for your compliment but I see both good and bad sides of it. The good side, I finally know how long it will take me to please a woman. The bad, its going to take almost two God Damn days.
But at least it explains why women say sex with me is like a Lifetime movie, anti-climatic and lots of crying.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495903
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 07:43 PM
Dear Pained Soul,
Any way that works the first time.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495909
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/01/2006 07:46 PM
Pained Soul 8/01/2006 7:41 pm
Dear BIG:
What's the best way to commit suicide?
BIG:
Why aren't you helping him??!?!!
....and pram/c.b.h.
Is it that you still have windows that need licked?
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495912
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 07:48 PM
Dear Neophyte,
My advice is for you to show him the best way, personally demonstrating.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495914
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/01/2006 07:49 PM
done, ah crap
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495915
Pained Soul 273 7
08/01/2006 07:50 PM
Okay, let me rephrase that:
Should I commit suicide or pay some random hobo a buck to shoot me?
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495919
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/01/2006 07:53 PM
I'll pay you a buck if you let me do it.
bring pram, you'll have to share the dollar.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495920
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 07:54 PM
Dear Pained Soul,
Usually I would be quick to suggest you off youself and make the world a better place. But, seeing as you are now unemployed, most likely a loser emo fag, and probably are only upset that your upper-middle class suburban life really gives you nothing to complain about, I suggest you live a long life. With each day slowly killing your soul a little more, until you are nothing but a shell of a man.
My advice is to save the dollar for McDonald's Dollar menu.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495922
ShinyGnome 27 6
08/01/2006 07:57 PM
Dear BIG,
I've never eaten grape nuts but I think that dead baby is good. Does this make me a good person, a bad person, or do they cancel each other out?
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495927
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 08:00 PM
Dear ShinyGnome,
I don't know whether you are a good person or a bad person, but you seem to be a Frost-ing idiot.
My advice is to jump in front of any bullets shot at Pained Soul. You'll be dead and he'll have to deal with living. Its a win/win for the rest of us.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495982
Ditdah 123,110 14
08/01/2006 08:38 PM
Dear BIG,
I just sent this message to another GABber via IM:
He'll quit when BIG sends him dead hooker heads in the mail.
I was wondering what your thoughts on that were?
Love,
The Other Irish Drunk
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1495992
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 08:44 PM
Dear "The Other Irish Drunk",
It cuts me deep that you don't know me better than that. I only send hooker heads to people I like.
My advice is to stop IMing GABbers and rape your girlfriend with a wiffleball bat. If she refuses tell her you are going to find out how much rum she's worth in the triangle trade. Knowing how much you like to drink, and the possibility you'll trade her for a 5th of Bacardi, you'll get the chance to swing away.
Me
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496003
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/01/2006 08:55 PM
Dear BIG:
Undies likes DBQ? And she's moving near me? Does she think the pseudo-stalking I've done in the past wasn't just warming up? And will she send me some sauce?
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496007
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 08:58 PM
Dear Dogs,
Yes, Undies is a fan of the DBQ. She will be moving back to what is considered CNY, the 315 area code. Dude, it called foreplay. If you ask nicely and punch a homeless man, I am sure she'll send you some.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496008
Sucks to be Straw 98,000 37
08/01/2006 08:58 PM
Dear BIG,
What the heck is DBQ?
Straw
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496010
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 09:03 PM
Dear Straw,
DBQ is short for Dinosaur BBQ. It is a little dive BBQ joint that started in Syracuse and is known for its biker customers, rude wait staff, and UNFREAKING BELIEVABLE food.
My advice is to drag your skinny white ass to Harlem when you are in NYC and try some. I have heard its not as good as the original, but it is still pretty damn good.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496014
Phuc 237,919 21
08/01/2006 09:09 PM
Dear BIG,
I miss the Garden State. The pizza and bagels suck up here, and everyone is always dry-humping the greenery.
What can I do to give me a taste of home?
-- Exit 109
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496015
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 09:13 PM
Dear "Exit 109",
You're the dumbass that left the Goombah capital of the country to live amongst a bunch of Micks. Man can't live on whiskey alone, but its sure as hell fun trying.
My advice to you is pack up the car on Thursday night and take the family to see Grandma and the Shore. Each time one of the brats calls it the beach, smack the hell out of them. Just don't take them to Seaside Heights, or you will rot in hell. And hell for you is being unattended in a cola factory with an empty bladder, for eternity.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496018
UnderHaggis! 101,398 77
08/01/2006 09:20 PM
Tell Undies I want a bottle of the spiciest DBQ sauce available.
So you want me to rub the sauce on teh Haggis's Coleridge and then stick the mess into a bottle for you?
Fag!
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496020
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 09:22 PM
Please email comments not made to me to the appropriate party. Thank you.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496023
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/01/2006 09:26 PM
My advice is to drag your skinny white ass to Harlem when you are in NYC and try some. I have heard its not as good as the original, but it is still pretty damn good.
Ed Zachary.
I would go to the NYC DBQ with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Well, as long as anywhere is West 131st Street.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496025
UnderHaggis! 101,398 77
08/01/2006 09:29 PM
BIG,
Please tell Dogs that I believe in spaying and neutering my pets.
Thanks,
Concerned about the pet population
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496029
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/01/2006 09:35 PM
Oh, that cuts me deep.
Literally.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496030
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 09:35 PM
Dear "Concerned",
I must have missed the question mark in your post. Because I am not a go between like a child in a divorce case.
TELL HIM YOUR DAMN SELF, by emailing him.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496035
The Chance 171,275 14
08/01/2006 09:38 PM
BIG,
Whats the best way to filet a pasty white whore? Whats the best marinade for said whore?
Ready to slice and dice,
Me
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496041
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/01/2006 09:43 PM
Dear "slice and dice",
The best way to filet a pasty whore is make her play the lead role in a remake of Edward Scissorhands. You can call it, "The Bitch who's about to Die...Scissorhands". The add a masturbating scene, actually, just make the whole movie a two hour masturbation scene.
The best marinade is tarantula blood and sperm whale goiter.
My advice to you is LIGHTS...CAMERA...ACTION.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496112
Lupience the Dahlia Queen 26,981 11
08/01/2006 11:15 PM
Dearest BIG,
Why am I drawn to this thread for comedy and humor?
-Lupience
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496122
Sucks to be Straw 98,000 37
08/01/2006 11:24 PM
LIGHTS...CAMERA...ACTION
BIG,
When I see the above, the Wiggles theme song starts running through my head. Should I kill myself now or wait to be murdered in Jersey?
Straw
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496190
Licka Ninevolt 80,728 42
08/02/2006 12:53 AM
Dear God,
Dear Mr Two Thirds of a Finger,
Dear Big Gal Al,
You're all faggots, and I didn't mention my music once, so you can stop lampooning it now.
-Love,
Your Murderer.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496191
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/02/2006 12:56 AM
I'm Mr. 2/3 of a finger to you faggot.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496203
Licka Ninevolt 80,728 42
08/02/2006 01:10 AM
Yes, I said that.
Dear Mr. Bigglesworth...
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496205
Licka Ninevolt 80,728 42
08/02/2006 01:14 AM
Dear Mr. Bigglesworth...
Dear Mr. "Two Thirds of a Faggot" Fingers...
-Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496238
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 02:27 AM
Dear Straw,
Wait until you get to New Jersey, the anticipation is part of the excitement.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496242
Red Stripe! It's Phla! Hooray Phla! 131,068 34
08/02/2006 02:45 AM
Dear Straw,
It's really not.
Me. The real me. Not the fake me.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496243
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 02:48 AM
Dear Phla,
I am telling your mom.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496247
eminate 0 0
08/02/2006 02:58 AM
Dear Big,
I have a problem(s). I am a young white male who doesn't quite know who I am. I am currently in a relationship with my penis, and I like to write rap.
I am not accepted very well by anyone/anything. I harbor sucicidal thoughts withheld by the knowledge of bringing my beautiful penis down with me...
Please, give me some advice concerning...
Responding to advice given to you and something about entering reality for dummies.
Thank you in regress.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496253
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 03:01 AM
Dear eminate,
Life will seem better when you graduate high school and go to college. Girls are whores in college.
Just don't tell them you like rap music.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496266
eminathyn 0 0
08/02/2006 03:19 AM
Girls aint nuthin\' but bitches and hoes my cracka.
I want some real muthaFrostin advice.
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496273
Millie 116,988 28
08/02/2006 03:43 AM
Girls aint nuthin\' but bitches and hoes
Fag.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496277
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 03:51 AM
REBECCALICIOUS'D
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496281
eminathyn 0 0
08/02/2006 03:53 AM
I wasn\'t taking about you silly Millie, you are not a girl.
You are a lesbian. Lesbians are not bitches and hoes, but rather ichy and old.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496288
Licka Ninevolt 80,728 42
08/02/2006 04:32 AM
but rather ichy and cold
ich, ni, san, shi, go, roku, shichi, hachi, ku, jew
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Funny
6 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496308
Phuc 237,919 21
08/02/2006 06:01 AM
Dear BIG,
I made the mistake of listening to Pram's music and I can't shake the imagery now of Jilly playing the guitar.
How do I get this out of my head? Will a grenade even be enough?
-- Nothing Left in Boston
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496320
Blueleprechaun 13,144 10
08/02/2006 07:02 AM
Dear BIG,
What's the meaning of life?
~God.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496376
Het Hoofd van de pompoen 56,642 8
08/02/2006 09:02 AM
Big-
Is the answer to Gods question perhaps 42?
-SquaShakespearech
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496395
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 09:44 AM
Dear "Nothing Left In Boston",
Well, there is only one thing you can do. Replace that image with a worse image. But it is not just that, because everytime you hear horrible music, it could cause you to regress. So there needs to be a musical image that can trump the Pram/Jilly horror, but will make you feel better after thinking about it.
My advice is to watch the movie 8 Mile. Then kill every upper-middle class white kid with his pants half way down his ass and his hat on sideways. Don't worry about running out of these kids, not only are they a renewable resource in the Boston Metro area, they also import new ones every fall.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496396
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 09:50 AM
Dear "Blueleprechaun",
The meaning of life.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496397
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 09:54 AM
Dear "SquaShakespearech",
I don't think God has any questions, its a benefit of that whole omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent thing.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496398
Sharribarri 14,124 11
08/02/2006 09:56 AM
Dear Big,
I am about to subscribe to an online dating site. Should I?
On the edge of my seat,
Sharri in CT
Dear Big,
I signed up for www.farmersonly.com despite your words of advice against it.
I met a nice boy from Alabama and I am movoing there tomorrow. We are going to farm soybeans and raise a passle of childrens.
No questions just wanted to say good-bye!
Signed,
Sharri soon to be from Alabama
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496399
Het Hoofd van de pompoen 56,642 8
08/02/2006 09:56 AM
Dear Big-
If Brown is the new Black, and Llama calls are the new Donkey calls, is Pram the new Jilly?
-Inquiring minds
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496400
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 10:00 AM
Dear Sharri,
You'll be missed, have fun losing your virginity to someone who probably lost there virginity to a goatherd.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496401
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 10:02 AM
Dear "inquiring minds",
My advice is to ignore the morons. It is a time honored tradition on GAB. That's why most people ignore you.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496530
Phuc 237,919 21
08/02/2006 12:10 PM
Dear BIG,
What the holy Frost is a "passle?"
-- Challenged in Boston
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496531
Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
08/02/2006 12:13 PM
Dear BIG,
I took a dump, and my ass has been burning for an hour. Help!
-Standing in NY
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496535
Sharribarri 14,124 11
08/02/2006 12:17 PM
Dear Phuc,
The correct answer is "What I would have given to you if you weren't married with children already."
-Sharribarri
P.S. Know any other unmarried Asians of your size?
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496536
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 12:19 PM
Dear "Challenged",
Examples of what a passle is:
- reading through a GAB thread Pram has posted in.
- reading any thread Jilly started.
- finding a way to keep this thread funny.
My advice is to take a deep breath and attack the task with a clear mind. Unless you can pass it off on someone else, then you should do that. It will give you time to make Ollie, Erika and I personal icons.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496537
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 12:20 PM
Dear "Standing",
My advice is to get some baby wipes and stop eating spicey foods for two days.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496540
Poppy Flowers 1,784 9
08/02/2006 12:23 PM
Dear BIG
How do I discourage drunks and aspiring drunks from the pub where I work? I'd really rather stand around doing nothing than serve people. As someone with a vast knowledge of booze, what should I add to the beer to prevent them enjoying it?
Yours faithfully,
Overworked Wench
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496541
Fourche De Courge 56,642 8
08/02/2006 12:27 PM
Dear Poppy-
I suggest this.
-Disgusted in Chicago
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496543
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 12:31 PM
Dear "Overworked",
I have experience working in bars myself, and sometimes people can be a little annoying. And when I say a little I mean, I want to choke people until their eyeballs pop.
If you don't want to serve them, every once in awhile, ask them all to take a moment to join you in prayer, ask God to save thier souls for being such wretches. Also, if someone wants a third beer, give them a dirty look and say, "I guess you gave up on trying to be anyone's role model."
My advice is to show your boobs to the customers because they will be too busy touching themselves to hold a pint.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496547
Phuc 237,919 21
08/02/2006 12:40 PM
Dear Sharrrirbaarrriirrari,
Do a Google search on "oddjob."
--Al
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496552
Sharribarri 14,124 11
08/02/2006 12:47 PM
I'd hit it.
<overused>
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496554
Sharribarri 14,124 11
08/02/2006 12:48 PM
<overused>
But not by me!
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496569
All Trixxie and a Crock of Anal Dick Cheese 65,026 15
08/02/2006 01:08 PM
BIG: I am utterly and completely sexually obsessed with a huge, obnoxious, Irish guy from New York I met through an internet message board. How can I convince him to give me his anal cherry? Trixxie
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496573
The Chance 171,275 14
08/02/2006 01:16 PM
Ill take this one BIG.
Dearest Trixx,
Alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.
Youre welcome,
Me.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496682
Kamata 10 6
08/02/2006 03:30 PM
Dearest BIG
How come Brody and McPants are in a relationship when McPants likes to drill holes into men?
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496720
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 04:04 PM
Dear Trixxie,
My advice is similar to Chance's. Now I am more familiar with the drinking habits of people from Irish heritage from New Jersey since that's where I am from but I am sure you have a shot at the guy from NEW YORK.
Dodging a bullet,
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496743
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/02/2006 04:24 PM
Dear BIG,
When will John Hargrave's book come out? Will it be out in time for my grandchildren to read it?
From,
Mr. Slinky
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496748
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 04:29 PM
Dear Mr. Slinky,
The Hargrave book is a myth, it is just an excuse he's using for his comedy site going to Shakespeare. Since his old excuse that codeslave left was getting,well, old, he needed something new. Rumors have it he is going to turn it into a prank, but since no phone calls were going to be made he wimped out.
My advice is to read Highlights for Children instead.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496903
ThirstyMcsurly, best served on the rocks 4,444 12
08/02/2006 08:04 PM
Diggity Dear Biggity Big:
Will my career as a famous rapper take off because of my use of "iggity"? Will I at least do better than Vanilla Ice? Will I excell in beating puppies?
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496906
I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/02/2006 08:05 PM
Dear Big,
Now that Thristy has mentioned rapping, can we ban him on the pretense that he may be Nathyn incognito?
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496907
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 08:08 PM
Dear Thirsty,
The novelty of the white rapper has worn off. No one wants to see that anymore. The result of the eminem craze was a generation of moronic wanna' bes singing about their rough lives growing up in a respectable family with parents that care about them.
If you choose to follow this career path you will have the chance to kill a lot of puppies, with you cranium as people beat you with sacks of puppies. Its when Al beats you with a sack of hammers that will make everyone happy.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496910
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 08:12 PM
Dear Taco,
I am still upset that you thought I was pretending to be Pram on IM, but I will answer your question. Although Thirsty is an assclown, he is less annoying than many of the other people who have decided to post lately. He is part of a group of n00bs that will get by because they are overshadowed by the mind numbing haze fodder that some of the others post.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496913
I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/02/2006 08:14 PM
Dear Big,
Your timing with the cleft-lip icon IM comment was oddly coincidental to Pram IMing me. I was concerned.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496914
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 08:15 PM
Dear Taco,
That is not a question.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496996
Johnnie Virgil 541 6
08/02/2006 11:01 PM
Yo Big,
What's wrong with Seaside Heights?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1496999
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/02/2006 11:18 PM
Dear Johnnie,
Have you ever been there? If you have you are most likely a a guinea tee wearing, IROC driving, Growing up Gotti wanna' be. If you haven't, its a lot of juiced up jackoffs with too many vowels in their last name.
My advice is to go to LBI.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497020
Dianapop 57,835 109
08/03/2006 12:03 AM
Dearest BIG,
My boss decided to google my name at work the other day and found the Michael Jackson prank. She came to me and said "Someone with your name did this prank with Michael Jacks.....wait a second, was that you?"
She told everyone at work, so now everyone thinks I'm some great prankster. How do I tell them that the only reason John invited me along was because of those secret boobie pics I sent him?
Signed,
People only click me because I have boobs
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Funny
6 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497022
Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
08/03/2006 12:06 AM
Dear BIG,
Do you really think it's wise to make fun of the Italians? Especially the ones from Jersey? Have you ever met my cousin Carmine?
Love and Sunshine,
-Erika
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497024
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2006 12:15 AM
Dear "people only click me because I lie to them and tell them I will email them naked pics and send them cookies",
You have been outed as being part of an internet community. That gives you two choices. First, is to calmly admit that you met a gentleman who decided that it would be a 'hoot' to prank a few people by taking advantage of credit card policies and people's obsession with the strange. The second option is to kill them all, death by llama, then laugh as they are being stampeded and eaten.
My advice is to play it cool, since we can't afford the llamas.
Me
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497026
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2006 12:24 AM
Dear Erika,
I am not afraid of Jersey Italians, becaue I know the trick to dealing with them is to just hand them a bottle of hair gel and a mirror, they'll be busy for hours.
I don't know your cousin Carmine, well, maybe I do. Is he about medium height, medium weight, dark hair, dark eyes, loves to go clubbin', can't help but dance when "You've got to pump it up" is being played on the radio, often found in a black or grey extra-medium tank top, and is often in the company of an over-tanned bitch with an attitude?
My advice is to make it home safely so I can be the first to physically, mentally, and emotionally scar you.
Me
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497089
Phuc 237,919 21
08/03/2006 07:11 AM
Dear Big,
Will the fat daughter hurt when I drop it on Erika?
Anyone worth their deep-fried hot dogs knows that every single Eye-talian in Jersey is named Anthony, Michael, or Paul.
--Twinkie Cugine
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497102
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2006 08:37 AM
Dear Twinkie Cugine,
After re-reading the Mufftaur Capcon thread last night, I think dropping the fat daughter on her will kill her. Both CG's daughter and Erika are about the same height, but CG's daughter weights two pounds more...than me. As for your claim about Italian names, you forgot Vinnie and Paulie.
My suggestion is to slap the grease out of an Italian today.
Me
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497103
Phuc 237,919 21
08/03/2006 08:48 AM
Good thing for Jersey Italian kids there was never a Saint Douchebag.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497301
Queen Buttercup 171,275 14
08/03/2006 02:30 PM
Dearest BIG,
Will you break up with my online boyfriend for me?
Hugs and Kisses,
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497302
Crackmybitchup! 68,758 11
08/03/2006 02:32 PM
I was just joking!
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497303
Queen Buttercup 171,275 14
08/03/2006 02:33 PM
Dearest Pig,
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE!
Kiss my butt,
Me
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497304
Crackmybitchup! 68,758 11
08/03/2006 02:35 PM
All we did was talk!
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1497313
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/03/2006 02:49 PM
Dear Chance,
There is nothing wrong with looking at a younger model car, as long as he is still parking in the same garage everynight.
But since you are both married, my advice is to call Sage, he has no problems with Frost-ing married women.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499123
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/05/2006 11:13 PM
Dear BIG:
I started carving on pram as a joke but now I'm horribly addicted to it and can't stop. I pray that you have some suggestions for me that don't invove killing myself (that's your soloution to everything), 'cause that doesn't sound fun.
P.S. pram fondles hampsters (see!!)
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499125
UnderHaggis! 101,398 77
08/05/2006 11:17 PM
Dear BIG,
Can you please tell some of these stupid noobs that bashing on each other is retarded? It doesn't make them cool, or special, and it sure as hell doesn't make me remember who they are.
Also, what's the deal with my poops lately? They've been coming out all smeary. And they smell really bad.
Thanks,
Holly
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499346
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/06/2006 04:26 AM
Dear Neophyte,
Everytime you are about to post a comment about Pram, just remember, the rest of GAB thinks that you're just flirting with him. If you no longer want to make fun of Pram, the easiest thing to do it NOT MAKE FUN OF PRAM. How Frost-ing hard is that? You're like the guy that keeps beating the retard after it already poop'd itself. (non-gender specific 'tard)
Or you could just stop posting all together.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499347
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/06/2006 04:28 AM
Dear Holly,
Tell them your damn self. And stop sharing so much of your personal life, you're scaring the voices.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499348
Blueleprechaun 13,144 10
08/06/2006 04:28 AM
Dear BIG,
How come your up so late?
~BlueLep
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499359
Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/06/2006 10:26 AM
P.S. pram fondles hampsters (see!!)
Oh my gosh! DID YOU SEE ME?!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499495
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/06/2006 03:29 PM
Dear Blueleprechaun,
I had just gotten home from my second job.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499538
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/06/2006 04:34 PM
Dear BIG,
What's the deal with Asian Tits?
Dogs
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499548
Jesus Christ! It's cs! 15,189 12
08/06/2006 04:50 PM
Dear BIG,
Why do men pinch a woman's nipples during sex? Does this mean they want it done to them too?
Sincerely,
cs
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499551
Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/06/2006 05:00 PM
Dear Big, do you hate me too?
I like your sheets.
-Pram
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499724
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/07/2006 10:24 AM
Dear Donk,
Paint your room clear.
Me
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499726
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/07/2006 10:27 AM
Dear Dogs,
Asian tits are nothing more than a handful, yet can lead to bone rattling orgasms. Small and perky, they are known for their ability to defy gravity.
My advice is to get a pair.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499729
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/07/2006 10:30 AM
Dear cs,
Although men have manipples, they are just decoration. Given the chance to use a functional set, men will try to find a way to make them work.
My advice is to pinch and nibble unless he punches you in the top of the head.
Me
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499731
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/07/2006 10:31 AM
Dear Pram,
Yes.
Me
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499965
Phuc 237,919 21
08/07/2006 05:28 PM
Dear BIG,
It often seems like good threads get bumped off the first page before they jump the shark. They get replaced by thread after thread of long-winded diatribes about what's funny and who's an assclown and whatnot.
My question is: Who's got the best tits on GAB?
--Al
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1499975
Loopy -tying her knot 6,902 12
08/07/2006 06:06 PM
Dear Big,
Am I missing anything by not reading the entire thread?
-Unmotivated
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1500036
Bieze 1,382 7
08/07/2006 07:30 PM
Dear Mr. Big Guy, Almighty Oracle Of Unendowned Knowledge And Sage;
Should I eat the yellow snow?
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1500281
Humphrey 51,764 12
08/08/2006 12:42 AM
Dear Big,
While on a trip to NY about 5 years ago, I became addicted to Papaya King's 'original special combo' (2 Frankfurters with Kraut, and Onions, and a Drink). I had this for lunch pretty much every day for 2 weeks.
I miss them. What can I replace them with?
Regards
Fat-arse in Aussie.
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1500317
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/08/2006 02:27 AM
Dear everyone,
I quit.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1501013
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/08/2006 04:29 PM
Dear Al,
That is a tough question because there are many boobs that have been shared through email, but never have been posted. If I were to include those, I would have to say the best tits on GAB would be the next ones sent to me.
My advice is to become more than 51% certain.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1501015
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/08/2006 04:31 PM
Dear Unmotivated,
Everytime you give up an opportunity to learn something, you lose at life. Take the time to improve yourself everyday.
My advice is to just skim it, its not that great.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1501017
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/08/2006 04:33 PM
Dear bieze,
If its snowing where you are right now, you are experiencing the Apocalypse. My advice is to buy a pony so you can hang out with the four horsemen when they get there.
Me
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1501019
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/08/2006 04:39 PM
Dear Fat-arse in Aussie,
You had to hotdogs with a German guy, Onion, and a beverage while in NY. That is something that probably can not be recreated, unless you have an ostrich burger with pepperjack and BBQ sauce, a side of mashed potatos, and a grape Fanta.
My advice is to move to the United States and bring Daggy with you.
Me
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532896
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 03:15 AM
B
U
M
P
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Funny
7 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532898
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 03:21 AM
Dear BlueLep,
Since you did not ask a clear question, I will answer a few...
1. If you are asking WHY?? I bumped this thread, its because I Frost-ing wanted to, and I don't care about most of the people posting these days.
2. I am not going to GABlanta because most of the people attending are jokes. Not worth my time.
3. Profit. Because 3 is ALWAYS profit.
4. Stop sounding like a Frost-ing Elmo doll and ask a real question humpstain.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532900
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 03:33 AM
Dear BlueLep,
You should lurk, dumbass. Everyone knows its Guiness. However I do like Smithwick's as a nice change up.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532901
Tweak 18,881 12
09/28/2006 03:41 AM
Lep, his name is Big IRISH Guy. They have Guiness on their Frost-ing breakfast cereal.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532902
BlueLep: Lives At The Coffee Shop 13,144 10
09/28/2006 03:44 AM
<action>shakes head</action>Woooooooooooooossshhhh!
No Frostin' Shakespeare.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532903
Tweak 18,881 12
09/28/2006 03:46 AM
Meh, I just woke up.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532904
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 03:50 AM
Hey, Dumb and Dumber, if you are going to post in this thread, ask a Frost-ing question. If not, go Jilly-up someone else's thread.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532905
BlueLep: Lives At The Coffee Shop 13,144 10
09/28/2006 03:55 AM
Dear BIG,
What are the most effective ways to get rid of Jilly for good?
-BlueLep
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532906
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 03:57 AM
Dear BlueLep,
God tried to get rid of her with a hurricane, unfortunately it didn't work.
Death might be the only way to get rid of her.
Me
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532908
Piemaster - Rethinking this whole tagline concept 12,538 15
09/28/2006 05:06 AM
Dear BIG,
My life has been turned upside down, my job stinks, my wife won't touch me, my oldest kid called me a 'pugnacious vistocrat', and now, even Trixxie isn't returning my calls...
So, my question is this, who the Frost are Bieze, Shemp, and LitaFord?!
Refreshing every five seconds,
Piemaster
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532916
Bendy Straw 98,000 37
09/28/2006 05:51 AM
Dear BIG,
Why does this thread only show a score of 13 on the main page when it is one of the funniest threads in existence?
Not sucking up,
Straw
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532919
Bendy Straw 98,000 37
09/28/2006 06:00 AM
Hey, BIG can pleasure answer two posters at the same time, so don't you worry about a thing.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532929
Undies- I married Spicey so Gabbers would like me 101,398 77
09/28/2006 07:19 AM
Dear BIG,
When would you like to meet Spicey and I in Syracuse for DBQ? I'm free any time, October 13-15. Also, should we invite other GABbers? I'm thinking that the deliciousness that is DBQ should be shared by all, much like my boobies. Also, I really would like to meet Sharri and show her how to enjoy things that are sweet and sticky.
Waiting for your reply,
Not a 315er, but close enough
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1532930
Jihad Joe- The Real Arabian Hero 6,067 8
09/28/2006 07:22 AM
Dear BIG,
Every question that can ever be asked has been asked to you. Should I kill myself?
Gasoline, Rope, and book of matches in hand,
Joe
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533000
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 09:51 AM
Dear piemaster,
Wives can be replaced, children can be buried, and Trixxie...well, Trixxie has been busy lately worrying about the health of his fag hag.
As for your question, they are people not of consequence and therefore should be ignored.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533001
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 09:51 AM
Dear Straw,
It has to do with the monthly resets of the orb counts.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533002
Phuc 237,919 21
09/28/2006 09:53 AM
BIG,
Who should NOT be invited to GABJersey, which will be taking place sometime next spring in Atlantic City?
--Rotsa Ruck
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533006
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 09:56 AM
Dear Undies,
I am currently in discussions with friends in the 315 for a visit to that location. Unfortunately I work on weekends and might have to wait until the end of the semester and go during the week.
As for inviting other GABbers, GAB events are starting to reach Stage eleventy.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533009
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 09:58 AM
Dear Joe,
Yes.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533010
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 09:59 AM
Dear Dave,
A little from column A, a little from column B.
Me
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Funny
10 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533014
Bankey 70,843 10
09/28/2006 10:01 AM
Dear BIG,
Would it kill you to just start another advice thread? Seriously, in the time I takes me to load this thread I could walk up the entire eastern seaboard and ask you in person.
- The Bankey
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533016
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 10:03 AM
Dear Rotsa Ruck,
Don't mention GABlantic City. When there is the hint of a GAB event, people start planning things, others try to raise money for people who can't afford to come to make it, everyone thinks they are allowed to attend...
so in short, don't tell anyone about it. We'll work on the guest list at a later date.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533019
Phuc 237,919 21
09/28/2006 10:05 AM
Dear BIG,
But it's so much fun to be elitist and exclusive. Is that so wrong?
--Exit 109, Bitches
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533020
Dave's not here - but he left it all sticky. 52,827 16
09/28/2006 10:06 AM
Dear Big,
The extra stout Guinness has for some time been brewed and bottled in Canada. Is nuclear retaliation warranted?
Dave
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533026
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 10:09 AM
Dear The Bankey,
I am kind of partial to this thread, and starting another thread of exactly the same thing would be much like a movie sequel, not as good and a complete let down.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533031
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 10:16 AM
Dear Exit 109,
Just post the pictures of the event afterward. This does two things, one allows for the event to occur without flooding the board with threads most of the people could care less about it, and second, it is more elitest to let people know they weren't worth being told about a party until it already occurred.
Me
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533033
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 10:18 AM
Dear Dave,
That is a silly question, nuclear retaliation against Canada is ALWAYS a good idea.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533068
Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
09/28/2006 10:57 AM
Dear BIG, while you and Chi Chi were spooning in Boston, did you get a stiffy?
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533073
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 11:02 AM
Dear Trixxie,
That is not a question that is apt for an advice thread, and I am not going to give you the mental image of the ninja pirate and myself entangled in each others' arms, topless, oiled up, and with raging erections.
Because that simply is not true.
Me
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533078
Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
09/28/2006 11:11 AM
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
Hey I'm old. It takes a while.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533080
Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
09/28/2006 11:13 AM
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533084
Just plain ole turtle 42,578 26
09/28/2006 11:21 AM
Dear Big,
Double question, 1. what is up with the noobs thinking they aren't noobs and trying to take over cough*bluelep*cough and 2. how do we make them stop?
Curious Turtle
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533088
Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/28/2006 11:29 AM
Dear Big,
I think I'm in love with this guy I met online. He's smart, big and strong, has a wicked sense of humor and he's handsome too. But I think he's too shy to tell me how he really feels about me. So my question is, should I invest 50 or 60% of my paycheck in my 401k?
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533089
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 11:33 AM
Dear Curious Turtle,
This new batch of noobs are acting like they aren't noobs because of the upcoming event at Trae's house (no, not the NBA Players' Association gangbang). Because they are going to hang out with GABbers they feel they now belong.
The only way to stop them is to remind them that in the scheme of things they are nothing. Just because they have taken some responsibility for a party at another GABber's house doesn't mean the rest of us give a Shakespeare. Hopefully they will die a slow, painful death very, very soon.
Me
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533090
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 11:37 AM
Dear Unsigned,
Since it is easily seen that you have spare income to waste on useless things (6 months of the Zug server), I would suggest investing 60 percent. This would give you a greater nest egg for when you are no longer able to make money whoring yourself to strangers and blackmailing them.
Me
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1533091
Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/28/2006 11:42 AM
Dear Mr. Big,
How did you land a role on Sex and the City?
Your adoring fan,
Luscious
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/28/2006 11:50 AM
Dear Luscious,
I can't believe you noticed me. I was just a customer in one of the bar scenes, but it was nice of you to notice.
If you think I was that other character, the one with the recurring role, you suck at life and should be responsible for all things evil including the Big Dig and all the traffic in Mass.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
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shadesofgrey 5,445 7
09/28/2006 02:16 PM
Big, I just spent an hour reading this thread at work and I was wondering... Since I am a nOOb, I am fairly certain that I should STFU and die since that has been mentioned more than once in relation to me. From reading your responses to all the questions asked of you in this thread, I am also fairly certain that I can trust you to give me a fair and honest answer to my question. I would like to be easily accepted here, and I have only really fought with Shemp and Pram, so I figure that's a fairly good start. Oh yeah. You want a question right? What kind/brand of Scotch do you prefer, and how do you drink it? Hoping to be Shakespearefaced by early this evening,
shadesofgrey PS. I hope that you do take this question seriously, because "the most expensive bottle" and "in large quantities" are way too easy.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/28/2006 02:33 PM
Big,
What's with the large whitespace between this post and your last one?
Chix.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/30/2006 12:18 PM
Dear shadeofgrey,
This is an advice thread, so a question is necessary.
A nice single malt, like a Macallen 18 would do the job.
And if you add anything to Scotch besides ice...you should be shot after your body is dragged behind a car, over broken glass, while being gnawed on my rabid shrews.
Me
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/30/2006 12:19 PM
Dear Chix,
I don't have the moronic post blocker that you get with personalized icons.
Me
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/30/2006 07:16 PM
Dear Luscious,
It is pathetic to see that you buy people's favor in real life as well as on the internet. But to be fair I am a stingy Emerson who wouldn't push another GABber out of the way if it would save the server and make John finish the book, so I guess I am like my internet persona as well.
My advice is the Astroglide, some beer, a copy of the Kama Sutra, and the movie passes.
Me
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0 votes
0.0
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Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/30/2006 08:10 PM
Dear Gracious Big,
You are as smart as you are handsome. But, clearly, I am not BUYING Shakespeare for anyone in real life because I spent all of my money sponsoring several months of GAB to buy life-long friends, some bridesmaids and a husband online.
I'm sure it was purely an oversight on your part when you missed:
"cool FREE stuff" off the net
Time to get back to my homework, and thanks for the advice,
Ever grateful,
Luscious
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/01/2006 09:05 AM
I just find it sad that you took the time to write out a post with so many links. Unless you used the Firefox extension and shortcuts - then I'm kind of psyched.
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