Heinz Ketchup Contest
A comedy conversation
by John Hargrave  128,751  73
08/10/2006 10:18 PM 1354 views
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Heinz is now offering personalized ketchup labels. Your job is to think of the funniest label to print on a 14-ounce bottle of ketchup, like PLEASE SQUIRT ON YOUR WIENER.
You have a maximum of three lines, 18 characters per line. The funniest entry, as determined both by ratings and by ZUG judges, will win a ZUG Mug, which holds a hearty 12 ounces of ketchup.
Heinz has many rules on what they will not accept, which is pretty much anything funny. Thus, you get bonus points for clever ketchup labels that aren't offensive or obscene: ketchup labels that we can actually order for part 2 of this prank.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
16 votes
3.7
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Also Recommended on ZUG:
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Amusing
14 votes
1.9
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Suhypa free of charge 5,547  9
08/10/2006 10:20 PM
"Now, with more fetus-y goodness!"
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Chuckleworthy
14 votes
2.9
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Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/10/2006 10:22 PM
clever labels that aren't offensive or obscene
Sounds like he's asking us to actually think.
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Chuckleworthy
16 votes
2.4
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Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/10/2006 10:28 PM
"What's grosser than
gross? Finding hair
at the bottom!!"
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Funny
21 votes
3.0
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/10/2006 10:28 PM
I'd like to send one to John Kerry.
"Hey, you couldn't beat Bush, but at least you still have your wife's money!"
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Funny
19 votes
3.1
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Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/10/2006 10:28 PM
"Kinda looks
like blood,
doesn't it?"
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Funny
25 votes
3.6
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:29 PM
Mary,
I'm Frost-ing your sister.
I want a divorce.
John.
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Chuckleworthy
15 votes
2.9
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/10/2006 10:30 PM
determined...by ZUG judges,
Got your Magic 8 Ball fixed, John?
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Chuckleworthy
12 votes
2.5
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Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/10/2006 10:30 PM
"Blood of GAB
Virgins inside.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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Funny
15 votes
3.0
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:31 PM
Now with 20% less animal feces.
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Hilarious
28 votes
4.0
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Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/10/2006 10:31 PM
Heinz Ketchup: great on bananas
Heinz Ketchup: masking the taste of bad cooking since 1876
Heinz Ketchup: ruining good steaks since 1876
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Funny
35 votes
3.5
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:32 PM
Go ahead, have some more fries fatty.
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Chuckleworthy
12 votes
2.5
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 10:33 PM
Hey Mom, 20 years
Now. Thanks for
the basement.
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Chuckleworthy
10 votes
2.7
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Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/10/2006 10:34 PM
"is otherwise inappropriate"
Shakespeare, there's no getting around that rule.
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Funny
11 votes
3.4
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:34 PM
Heinz-not the worst thing to go through your colon.
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Funny
15 votes
3.5
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Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/10/2006 10:35 PM
"Heinz ketchup is not tested on animals. But it tastes wonderful on them."
Screw it, I quit. There's no topping that.
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Funny
11 votes
3.2
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 10:35 PM
Heinz Ketchup.
I'm only doing a
coffee mug.
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.0
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 10:37 PM
Heinz Ketchup.
I'm only doing THIS
FOR a coffee mug.
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.7
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Blue Bunny Batman 1,829 7
08/10/2006 10:37 PM
Heinz Ketchup: Keeping Pittsburgh and John Kerry out of the poorhouse.
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Funny
11 votes
3.4
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:39 PM
Heinz
Supporting terrorism since 2001.
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Funny
14 votes
3.7
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/10/2006 10:39 PM
ConAgra Foods
P.O. Box 3768
Omaha, NE 68103-0768
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Funny
17 votes
3.5
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Godzilla's Younger Brother 256 7
08/10/2006 10:39 PM
"Thank You For Your
Contribution To
'Kerry In 2008'"
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Funny
11 votes
3.6
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:40 PM
Heinz
The poor mans A-1
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.6
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/10/2006 10:40 PM
Although mine may be too subtle. Most people won't bother figuring out what it is. And even if they do, I'm probably the only one that would think it was funny.
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Funny
9 votes
3.6
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:46 PM
Kid tested, Illegal immigrant approved.
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.4
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Fratberry 283,018 53
08/10/2006 10:47 PM
Now this is a condiment.
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Chuckleworthy
9 votes
2.5
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/10/2006 10:47 PM
"Easier to
get out that
a gerbil"
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.4
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MissileWaster 60 6
08/10/2006 10:48 PM
Heinz Ketchup: Now with 100% more GROUND Coleridge!
Heinz: Is this German?
How about a more subtle approach? Just alphabatize every swear word and get it put on there.
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Chuckleworthy
10 votes
2.3
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/10/2006 10:48 PM
See, cause people insert gerbils in their ass and they get stuck in there. But a ketchup bottle would be easier to grasp.
Yeah, I'm not too good at this comedy thing.
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.0
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 10:49 PM
So true.
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Amusing
5 votes
1.4
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MissileWaster 60 6
08/10/2006 10:50 PM
Alright, the one I just found that can fit on that upside down bottle is:
Heinz Ketchup
Is that German?
Or maybe Sweedish...
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.8
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Currently Under a Kilt 101,398 77
08/10/2006 10:50 PM
Ketchup: The edible anal lube.
Ketchup: Better than peanut butter on your tits!
Everything is better with lube.
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Funny
21 votes
3.7
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:50 PM
Heinz
IT'S PEOPLE!!
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Hilarious
24 votes
4.0
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 10:53 PM
This is my ketchup
bottle. Don't touch
it or I will cut you.
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Hilarious
16 votes
4.0
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Midgets 96,092 48
08/10/2006 10:56 PM
If you find a
fingertip please
return to ..
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.7
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 10:56 PM
sender?
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Chuckleworthy
9 votes
2.6
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Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/10/2006 10:58 PM
I just ordered one with the "banana" quote I mentioned above.
Yeah, I'm stupid.
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Chuckleworthy
10 votes
2.4
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 10:58 PM
So true
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Hilarious
19 votes
4.1
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SHP - who'dyou who'dyou who'dyou think you are? 181,795 70
08/10/2006 11:00 PM
"Heinz. Kid tested, mother approved.
Of course, mother drinks a lot and lets my uncles sleep in her bed."
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.8
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OmegaLazarus 247 10
08/10/2006 11:02 PM
"Kerry Edwards '04"
It would be topical and a good cross-promotion.
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Hilarious
34 votes
4.1
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Closet Friend #1004 7,665 11
08/10/2006 11:07 PM
Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.0
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 11:09 PM
This is for the
car I wrecked
when we went out.
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.3
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Fratberry 283,018 53
08/10/2006 11:11 PM
That's not ketchup.
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Funny
12 votes
3.7
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Russ812 63 7
08/10/2006 11:14 PM
Texas Chainsaw
Massacre
Prop Dept.
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Funny
16 votes
3.5
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Demonfire You 1,039 8
08/10/2006 11:21 PM
This is not the
ketchup that
you are looking for
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Funny
11 votes
3.8
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Neophyte 9,956 11
08/10/2006 11:24 PM
"Oh God, please don't eat me"
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Hilarious
18 votes
4.0
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Neophyte 9,956 11
08/10/2006 11:25 PM
"It hurts when you squeeze me."
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Funny
21 votes
3.8
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/10/2006 11:25 PM
Hey Mom, Happy
Birthday. From
your poor son.
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Chuckleworthy
10 votes
2.9
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Gotard 29 6
08/10/2006 11:25 PM
Jamie and Mark
Got Divorced
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Hilarious
15 votes
4.0
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Demonfire You 1,039 8
08/10/2006 11:26 PM
Good with Ketchup
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Funny
9 votes
3.4
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The High Priestess of Stewie 58,948 29
08/10/2006 11:27 PM
"Only the freshest tomato discharge"
"Only the freshest of Thresa's discharge"
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Funny
8 votes
3.4
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/10/2006 11:27 PM
This is not the
ketchup that
you are looking for
This one has my vote so far. Well, after mine of course. I know mine aren't anywhere near as good as this one, but I'm kind of self-centered.
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.6
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Neophyte 9,956 11
08/10/2006 11:30 PM
"Baby please don't tease me."
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.7
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Neophyte 9,956 11
08/10/2006 11:35 PM
"Oh God, please don't eat me"
"It hurts when you squeeze me."
"Baby please don't tease me."
"Fire me onto cheese please!"
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Funny
11 votes
3.3
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There's a Chance I might be Daggy 86,705 14
08/10/2006 11:35 PM
Heinz Ketchup.
It's not just for lubrication any more!
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Funny
17 votes
3.5
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wtfbbq23 240 7
08/10/2006 11:37 PM
Soylent Red
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Funny
12 votes
3.5
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wtfbbq23 240 7
08/10/2006 11:39 PM
Appalachia Marinara
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.3
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Neophyte 9,956 11
08/10/2006 11:44 PM
"Now with 100% daily requirment of onion powder!"
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Funny
9 votes
3.5
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wtfbbq23 240 7
08/10/2006 11:45 PM
Use in place of real catsup.
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Funny
11 votes
3.7
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wtfbbq23 240 7
08/10/2006 11:46 PM
Now made with actual tomatoes.
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.0
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wtfbbq23 240 7
08/10/2006 11:49 PM
Take two tablespoons to induce vomiting.
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Funny
16 votes
3.2
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Neophyte 9,956 11
08/10/2006 11:55 PM
"Would it kill you to clean the dried innards off my nozzle you lazy Frost-ing Carroll?"
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Amusing
5 votes
1.8
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wtfbbq23 240 7
08/11/2006 12:02 AM
Your food will be up in a minute.
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Funny
9 votes
3.0
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Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/11/2006 12:06 AM
Cream of Bonky
smells like feet
burns like thunder
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Hilarious
24 votes
4.0
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Humphrey 51,764 12
08/11/2006 12:12 AM
Turn me over,
smack my bottom,
Profit!
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Funny
7 votes
3.0
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The High Priestess of Stewie 58,948 29
08/11/2006 12:18 AM
Heinz: Pour some on the bedsheets so your folks won't know you're pregnant. Great idea, thanks Briham!
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Funny
19 votes
3.4
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Chelsex 239 6
08/11/2006 12:26 AM
To Bethany,
Happy First Menstruation!
Love, Grandma
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Funny
7 votes
3.0
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Humphrey 51,764 12
08/11/2006 12:33 AM
Pie and
dead 'orse,
Mate!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.8
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Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/11/2006 12:35 AM
Turn me over,
smack my bottom,
Profit!
Funniest one yet.
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Funny
12 votes
3.8
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Humphrey 51,764 12
08/11/2006 12:36 AM
I wish I were on an Oscar Mayer wiener
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502783
Vonn 19 6
08/11/2006 12:41 AM
"Heinz: Supporting Hitler Since 1939"
"Heinz: My Anti-Drug"
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502785
Chit 178,781 15
08/11/2006 12:43 AM
What's That Black
Crap Under The Cap
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Funny
15 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502787
Chit 178,781 15
08/11/2006 12:44 AM
Tomato Flavored
Sugar in a
Squeeze Bottle
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Funny
8 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502794
Chit 178,781 15
08/11/2006 12:54 AM
9 Out Of 10
Greasy Spoons
Chose Heinz
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Funny
8 votes
3.2
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Chit 178,781 15
08/11/2006 12:57 AM
Wait 'Till
You Try
Heinz 58
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502810
Blue Bunny Batman 1,829 7
08/11/2006 12:59 AM
"Mmm, squeeze me harder"
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.2
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BlueLep 13,144 10
08/11/2006 01:26 AM
Heinz Ketchup, supporting abortions since the first born.
Heinz Ketchup, Thank god i'm not a packet.
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Amusing
3 votes
1.3
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Humphrey 51,764 12
08/11/2006 01:37 AM
Saucier than
Millie in a
Spicy shirt!
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Amusing
5 votes
1.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502851
Humphrey 51,764 12
08/11/2006 01:38 AM
or.
Saucier than Millie
in Spicy shirt
and knickers!
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502853
Humphrey 51,764 12
08/11/2006 01:42 AM
mmmmmm.... So aroungry.
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Amusing
6 votes
1.8
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BlueLep 13,144 10
08/11/2006 01:55 AM
Happy Birthday Melissa! Hope your sister isn't missing.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502858
BlueLep 13,144 10
08/11/2006 01:56 AM
Or
Having fun on that time of the month!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502877
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/11/2006 02:33 AM
I liked this idea the first time around.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502887
pendy 987 8
08/11/2006 02:59 AM
SUYT...and
then pour some
on them.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502895
The Little IGA 84 7
08/11/2006 03:56 AM
Do it yourself
Prison liquor
Distillery kit
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Funny
9 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502896
Chit 178,781 15
08/11/2006 03:56 AM
Heinz
We Stir It
With Our Dicks
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Funny
9 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502897
Chit 178,781 15
08/11/2006 03:57 AM
Slather Your
Hot Dog
In Heinz
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502898
Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/11/2006 04:04 AM
Here's something
Worth mentioning.
Now, we're even
More non-threatening.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502899
Chit 178,781 15
08/11/2006 04:09 AM
I Married the
Bloody Carroll
John Kerry Heinz
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Funny
13 votes
3.0
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Tweak weighs the same as a duck 18,881 12
08/11/2006 04:12 AM
"This ketchup
exceeds your
moral bowel tolerance."
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502902
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/11/2006 04:21 AM
Heh.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
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KingMikeII 354 7
08/11/2006 05:12 AM
'Eating Heinz Ketchup kills'
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502921
Miss Bitch 0 0
08/11/2006 05:55 AM
Dear Nana
Turn the oven off
Love Apples
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502922
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 05:59 AM
Hunt's
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Funny
6 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502923
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:01 AM
I ate at Chez Paul and all I got was this lousy bottle of Ketchup.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502924
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:01 AM
No Sniffing
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502925
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:02 AM
Looks like I picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502926
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:02 AM
Looks like I picked a bad day to quit sniffing Hunt's.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502927
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:06 AM
GOATSE!
or
http://goatse.fr
(For those of you who have been shocked and grossed out by this, you KNOW they'll check the URL.)
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502928
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:08 AM
Windex
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502929
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:10 AM
Helping strippers call in "sick" since 1876.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502930
Pisserbyer 104 6
08/11/2006 06:13 AM
Look inside.
There's a special prize.
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Funny
10 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502931
Nachos 57,521 23
08/11/2006 06:14 AM
'In nature, the
colour red
signifies poison'
'I'd be green
if not for the
GM ingredients'
'Squeeze me.
That's right.
Now harder. Faster'
'Ever wanted
to be sterile?'
'Stop tomato
cruelty now!'
'Drink my juices
You know you
want it.'
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Funny
4 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502932
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:15 AM
Approved by PETA! (People Eating Tasty Animals)
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502933
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 06:15 AM
Approved by PETA! (Those animal loving freaks)
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502934
Pisserbyer 104 6
08/11/2006 06:16 AM
We're sorry, we couldn't print your personalized message due to inappropriate obscenities.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502935
Pisserbyer 104 6
08/11/2006 06:16 AM
Pass the butter.
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502936
Miss Bitch 0 0
08/11/2006 06:23 AM
<action>throws bottle at Mr Bitch</action>
Heinz testing
It's products on
Animals since 1876
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Funny
12 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502937
BlueLep 13,144 10
08/11/2006 06:26 AM
It Goes
Right Between
Those Buns
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502938
BlueLep 13,144 10
08/11/2006 06:39 AM
That's the way we like it.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502956
Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
08/11/2006 07:55 AM
"Heinz ketchup is not tested on animals. But it tastes wonderful on them."
I want that to win SO much.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502958
Nachos 57,521 23
08/11/2006 08:00 AM
Except that it breaks the letter count and mentions a product name.
</nutbutter>
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Amusing
3 votes
1.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502966
Miss Bitch 0 0
08/11/2006 08:17 AM
Heinz green ketchup tested on Roofie animals Since 2000. Warning may dye skin when heat is applied.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502970
Phuc 237,919 21
08/11/2006 08:34 AM
Fattening up
Our tapeworm
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502971
Phuc 237,919 21
08/11/2006 08:34 AM
Put it on a hot dog
Die like a bitch
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Funny
10 votes
3.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502979
velvet_skin 39 6
08/11/2006 09:00 AM
Tomacco inside!
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Funny
15 votes
3.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502980
Traeaneurism 156,790 17
08/11/2006 09:06 AM
"Type O Negative"
"Auntie Flo's Red Sauce, made fresh every 28 days!"
"Did someone cut themselves while making this ketchup? You'll never know."
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502981
velvet_skin 39 6
08/11/2006 09:06 AM
New Recycled Heinz ! Available in natural brown color only!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502982
velvet_skin 39 6
08/11/2006 09:08 AM
Warning: May cause anal impaction!
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502985
Phuc 237,919 21
08/11/2006 09:11 AM
Now with stem cells!
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Chuckleworthy
10 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1502997
Traeaneurism 156,790 17
08/11/2006 09:33 AM
"White Trash Spagetti Sauce"
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503002
Skellington98 3 6
08/11/2006 09:45 AM
Look inside for special surprise, (hint, its a FINGER!!!!)
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503007
doctor_who44 17 6
08/11/2006 09:46 AM
"Yeah, go ahead and TRY to get the ketchup out!!"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503009
yeel 15 8
08/11/2006 09:48 AM
Enjoyed by felch ers
for over 20 years
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Funny
7 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503013
spacklepants 96 6
08/11/2006 09:59 AM
The tingle
Means it's working!
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Funny
10 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503020
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/11/2006 10:08 AM
Stop it.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503025
The Ninja N00B 4 6
08/11/2006 10:11 AM
Heinz, Making
Crap Taste Better
Every Day
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Funny
6 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503026
Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/11/2006 10:13 AM
"Not tested on animals. You'll be the first."
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503027
Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/11/2006 10:14 AM
"Dijon Ketchup"
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Funny
17 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503028
Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/11/2006 10:17 AM
"Help, I'm being held captive in a ketchup factory!"
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Amusing
3 votes
1.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503034
The Ninja N00B 4 6
08/11/2006 10:21 AM
damn you werehampster, i was just thinking of putting that!! *GET OUT OF MY HEAD* (think gay thoughts and maybe he'll go away) bradd pitt in a bikini *shudder* naked men *shudder* imagining werehampster nak... MY EYES!!!
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Funny
7 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503046
Currently Under a Kilt 101,398 77
08/11/2006 10:37 AM
"Heinz ketchup is not tested on animals. But it tastes wonderful on them."
I want this to win too! To get it under the letter count:
Not tested on
animals, but
tastes good on 'em
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503049
Just plain ole turtle 42,578 26
08/11/2006 10:40 AM
The clear liquid is placenta
Yeah, I got nothing
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503051
spacklepants 96 6
08/11/2006 10:42 AM
CHECK IN BAGGAGE
DON NOT CARRY ON
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503053
spacklepants 96 6
08/11/2006 10:43 AM
CHECK IN BAGGAGE
DO NOT CARRY ON
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Funny
6 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503054
Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
08/11/2006 10:48 AM
awaiting your eager mouth.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503055
SirRealXTC 0 6
08/11/2006 10:51 AM
Anticipation -
Freakin' making me wait...HURRY THE HELL UP!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503058
SirRealXTC 0 6
08/11/2006 10:56 AM
Anticipation for
your Constipation
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503059
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 11:07 AM
Thank you sir
may I have
another?!
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503060
monkeywrencho 443 9
08/11/2006 11:09 AM
I have chlamydia.
You might want to
get tested.
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503066
Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/11/2006 11:18 AM
In case of ingestion, induce vomiting.
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503067
Jihad Joe- Shhhh... I'm lurking! 6,067 8
08/11/2006 11:19 AM
You can't take this
on an airplane now!
Haha!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503069
Zolton Entra, Pero No Puede Salir 88,200 34
08/11/2006 11:19 AM
"No tomatoes were actually harmed in the making of this product."
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503072
Zolton Entra, Pero No Puede Salir 88,200 34
08/11/2006 11:23 AM
"As nutritious as phlegm
And almost as tasty!"
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503074
Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/11/2006 11:25 AM
"Happy Vasectomy Dad!"
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503076
SAVVY: Knife Thrower 4,599 8
08/11/2006 11:26 AM
Heinz Ketchup: standing strong against the Simplified Spelling Movement
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503077
eastshore4 25 6
08/11/2006 11:26 AM
my ideas of "questionable material" are subjective at best:
Heinz: best served on death row meals
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503078
Blueberry Pan-cake 2,382 8
08/11/2006 11:27 AM
"Before the buffet
see what you weigh
Fatty."
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503079
eastshore4 25 6
08/11/2006 11:27 AM
Heinz: survived the depression for you to enjoy
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Funny
6 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503082
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 11:31 AM
Ketchup or Castup
No mater how it's spelled
It's just tomatoes
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503083
Jihad Joe- Shhhh... I'm lurking! 6,067 8
08/11/2006 11:31 AM
Congratulations on
The Excommunication
Madonna!
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503085
Blueberry Pan-cake 2,382 8
08/11/2006 11:33 AM
"Time flies like an
arrow. Fruit flies
like a banana."
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503088
RicaB 54 8
08/11/2006 11:35 AM
Mentstrual Blood
Now With Extra Mucus
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503089
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 11:35 AM
Heinz Ketchup:
And lube
As used in
GABlanta '06
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503091
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/11/2006 11:37 AM
"You're Not The Boss Of Me!"
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503092
RicaB 54 8
08/11/2006 11:38 AM
Reagan says I'm a vegetable!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503096
RicaB 54 8
08/11/2006 11:39 AM
Russian Dressing Ingredient
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503097
Blueberry Pan-cake 2,382 8
08/11/2006 11:41 AM
"Life is like a
bottle of ketchup.
Aroungry."
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503098
007Heather 10 7
08/11/2006 11:41 AM
Ketchup: your
prostate will
thank you!
WARNING:
This is NOT nailpolish!
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Funny
12 votes
3.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503107
Blueberry Pan-cake 2,382 8
08/11/2006 11:47 AM
"Snape kills
Dumbledore."
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503113
RicaB 54 8
08/11/2006 11:48 AM
Delicious?
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503119
eastshore4 25 6
08/11/2006 11:50 AM
Heinz: Goes good on anything... when you're high
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503130
Glitterific 40 6
08/11/2006 11:55 AM
Saving the World
From Killer
Tomatoes
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503131
eastshore4 25 6
08/11/2006 11:56 AM
Heinz: Did Not Kill Lincoln
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503141
Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/11/2006 11:59 AM
"Tastes like Chicken(s)"
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503144
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 12:00 PM
Heinz: High Fructose something
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503150
Glitterific 40 6
08/11/2006 12:03 PM
Please don't read
the label
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503151
Willsh 53 6
08/11/2006 12:03 PM
So where are
the other 56
varieties?
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503153
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 12:05 PM
Heinz: Love Potion number 57
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503154
Glitterific 40 6
08/11/2006 12:05 PM
Last one (for now)
Heinz:
Better than
Vaseline
on toast
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503155
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 12:06 PM
The RED Brown sauce
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503158
Jihad Joe- Shhhh... I'm lurking! 6,067 8
08/11/2006 12:08 PM
01110100 01110010
01100001 01110011
01101000
(Translation: Trash)
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503176
monkeywrencho 443 9
08/11/2006 12:19 PM
.
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Funny
11 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503178
xxhowwiexx 38 6
08/11/2006 12:20 PM
"It is what fuels my roundhouse kicks" -Chuck Norris
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503184
xxhowwiexx 38 6
08/11/2006 12:25 PM
"Made from real Tomacco"
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503200
Willsh 53 6
08/11/2006 12:32 PM
Or they'll know you're a tourist.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503205
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 12:35 PM
Or they'll know you're a tourist.
Or a Belgian.
Yeah..I don't know what that means either.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503207
Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
08/11/2006 12:35 PM
"Congrats on your first period!"
"Your a woman now!"
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503216
Balfazz 518 9
08/11/2006 12:40 PM
I would like fries with this!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503219
Willsh 53 6
08/11/2006 12:42 PM
What about her a woman now?
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503237
eastshore4 25 6
08/11/2006 12:54 PM
Heinz: Won't ditch you on prom night
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503246
unagi 33 6
08/11/2006 01:01 PM
Heinz
Okay, it's
32 tomatoes.
So sue us.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503251
Larry Moeshemp 22,222 17
08/11/2006 01:07 PM
You're a woman now.
Frosters! You're,
You are!
You're
God I hate that.
Im a loser!
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503260
BruceSmells 15 6
08/11/2006 01:29 PM
Heinz- "Deceased Tomatoes Inside"
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503262
Sarah is a great tipper. 30,601 8
08/11/2006 01:32 PM
White Trash
Spagetti Sauce
|
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503264
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 01:38 PM
Ketchup
It's what's
ON dinner.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503265
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 01:40 PM
Our lovely parting gift
Thank you for playing
|
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503267
Sarah is a great tipper. 30,601 8
08/11/2006 01:47 PM
I Prefer Mayo
But This'll Do
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503270
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 01:47 PM
Buy "Prank the Monkey"
Available 00/00/0000
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503280
Sarah is a great tipper. 30,601 8
08/11/2006 01:52 PM
Dear Homeless Person
Mix With Hot Water
To Make Tomato Soup
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503284
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 01:57 PM
The things we do for a coffee cup
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503287
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 02:02 PM
Not for oral use.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503294
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 02:07 PM
Your burger was
made by a filthy
whino.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503296
BruceSmells 15 6
08/11/2006 02:10 PM
Put it in your mouth! Please?
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503298
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 02:13 PM
<action> AGAIN has to use Bauche and Lomb "Bleach Drops" because he followed a link by Chickens</action>
Damn you and your "mouse over does jack Shakespeare" links!
Will. Never. Use. Ketchup. AGAIN!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503300
Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/11/2006 02:16 PM
I put the not work safe symbol up there. How much more warning do you need?
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503301
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/11/2006 02:16 PM
With all the eyebleaching I've been doing I didn't see it.
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Funny
9 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503306
Aimless 54,807 10
08/11/2006 02:20 PM
Flip
Smack
Squirt
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503324
shawnshawn 18 6
08/11/2006 02:46 PM
"I Want This Motherf*cking Sauce Out of This Motherf*cking Bottle!" Sam Jackson Special Reserve Ketchup
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Funny
10 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503326
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 02:51 PM
You have a little
bit of me
on your chin.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503331
sexybeast42 0 6
08/11/2006 03:00 PM
Orphanage-grade tomato soup, now in a convenient "On The Go" bottle!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503340
Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
08/11/2006 03:07 PM
i don't know about anyone else, but this is very familiar to sitting in Taco Bell and reading the hot sauce packets.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503374
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 04:08 PM
Heinz: Go ahead, splurge.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503376
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/11/2006 04:09 PM
HFCS:
Great for your
Glycemic Index
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503380
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/11/2006 04:11 PM
$6 a bottle for
a custom label?
Hahahahahahaha!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503382
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 04:12 PM
Heinz: Industrial Adhesive
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Funny
8 votes
3.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503385
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 04:15 PM
Heinz
Goes between the
weinie and the buns
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503386
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/11/2006 04:15 PM
Get your kids
hooked on industry
by-products early!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503390
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 04:19 PM
i don't know about anyone else, but this is very familiar to sitting in Taco Bell and reading the hot sauce packets.
I was tempted to put "Heinz: I don't do well under pressure", but as has been demonstrated, some of you like to hit the T.Bell sauce, as well.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503391
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/11/2006 04:19 PM
Not really
tomatoes;
more like goo.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503392
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/11/2006 04:19 PM
Hurts if
you get it
in your eye
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503393
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/11/2006 04:20 PM
(I feel like this is more a Heinz label haiku than anything else.)
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503394
Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/11/2006 04:21 PM
What did the mommy
tomato say to the
slow baby tomato?
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503395
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 04:22 PM
Heinz-isms. Oh, hey...
Heinz: Tomato Jism
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503402
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 04:25 PM
Melts in your mouth.
Not on your Jew.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503406
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 04:26 PM
Are you sure
the chef washed
his hands?
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503408
Sizzle 321 8
08/11/2006 04:27 PM
Now with 15% more arsenic!
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503409
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 04:28 PM
Heinz: Me on your fries?
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503421
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:38 PM
Hillbilly BBQ Sauce
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503423
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:40 PM
I ate at Emeril's and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.
(It's a variation on my previous one... Chez Paul was the fancy restaurant in THE BLUES BROTHERS, but I think that's only something most Chicagoans know... I'm guessing everyone knows Emeril though... That fat bastard...)
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503424
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:41 PM
I ate at Emeril's and all I got was this lousy bottle of ketchup...
Dammit... Screwed up the last one...
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503425
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:42 PM
I ate Emeril and all I got was this lousy bottle of Ketchup...
(Another variation... Considering I'm a guy, I guess that sounds kinda gay...)
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503426
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 04:43 PM
Heinz
With 50% more stem cells.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503427
Midgets 96,092 48
08/11/2006 04:45 PM
Pssst.
The gook peed
in your Coke.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503428
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:47 PM
Now with creamy whipped placenta!
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503429
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:49 PM
Spaghetti Poop
OR
Dago Feces
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503430
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:50 PM
FOR INSTANT MEAL:
Just add bad food.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503432
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:52 PM
Free condom inside!
1 in 10 is unused!
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503434
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:54 PM
WARNING:
DO NOT ANGER KETCHUP!
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503435
Myzyri 468 9
08/11/2006 04:54 PM
Pimp Juice
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503436
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/11/2006 04:54 PM
Dude, you suck at this game.
STOP!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503437
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 05:02 PM
<action>vein in forehead slowly receeds</action>Someone had to say it.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503438
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 05:04 PM
Heinz: Buy 1, get cancer free!
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503439
Prof. Spank 51 7
08/11/2006 05:05 PM
"This is not ketchup"
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503440
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 05:13 PM
Carrie hates
this crap
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503441
Prof. Spank 51 7
08/11/2006 05:16 PM
Heinz suck
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503442
Prof. Spank 51 7
08/11/2006 05:16 PM
"Heinz suck"
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503448
Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/11/2006 06:05 PM
"Photobucket Site Maintenance
Photobucket
Images and videos will continue to serve during this short maintenance."
That's too many letters.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503449
Jakeypants 13,437 11
08/11/2006 06:06 PM
Bobby Sue
Will you marry me?
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503451
Norbert 50 6
08/11/2006 06:27 PM
"Contents provided by the Hunt's Ketchup Corporation"
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Amusing
3 votes
1.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503474
OmegaLazarus 247 10
08/11/2006 07:36 PM
"The official Ketchup of the
Israeli-Lebanese conflict."
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503475
REAPER-FU 12,363 11
08/11/2006 07:48 PM
"My own Red Rum"
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503476
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/11/2006 08:14 PM
"'Mornin' Little Suzie!
I'm What Santa Brings you
If You're A Little Bitch All Year!"
What issue could Heinz have with the wording of that?!?!?!
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503477
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/11/2006 08:49 PM
Somebody stole
dis Heinz
D:
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503482
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/11/2006 09:35 PM
"Mac 'N' Cheese's
Partner In Crime
Since 1876."
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503495
queen michelle 6 7
08/11/2006 10:32 PM
smushy tomato
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503500
AwesomelyAwesomeAwesomeness53669 15 6
08/11/2006 10:50 PM
So precious, it's
made with Chuck
Norris's Blood!
(Sorry for double post, accidentally pressed enter)
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503502
Nicko 1 6
08/11/2006 10:53 PM
Heinz: celebrating that time of the month for over forty years
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503550
Jimmy Mac 130 6
08/12/2006 01:40 AM
Heinz: Now with 20 percent less insect feces.
Heinz: Fake blood.
Heinz: Tomatoes are a fruit, like you.
Heinz: Made from criminal tomatoes that deserved to die.
Heinz: Dan Quayle's famous potatoe topper.
Heinz: Goes great with Freedom Fries.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503551
Jaysohn 14 6
08/12/2006 01:41 AM
Contains all natural and other ingredients.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503553
Jimmy Mac 130 6
08/12/2006 01:49 AM
Theresa Heinz's Ketchup.
Not Mike Hunt's.
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503554
Hodgmania is a WOMAN 594 7
08/12/2006 01:49 AM
Helping Democrats
lose elections for
130 years!
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503555
Hodgmania is a WOMAN 594 7
08/12/2006 01:52 AM
Buy me!
I'm 130!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503567
Spotted Dog 87 7
08/12/2006 02:54 AM
"Million Dollar Sweepstakes
Check Inside Bottle to see if you won!"
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Amusing
4 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503569
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/12/2006 02:56 AM
<Action> opens his bottle of Heinz ketchup</action>
Nope, no million dollars here.
Just ketchup.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503572
Spotted Dog 87 7
08/12/2006 03:03 AM
"Out of Order"
"Expiration: 11/4/03"
"Leave this area quickly and quietly"
"Do not use if safety seal is broken or missing"
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503580
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/12/2006 03:22 AM
I'm the
300th
to post.
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Amusing
3 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503599
Fart Joke 430 6
08/12/2006 03:45 AM
301st.....yay
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503603
Fart Joke 430 6
08/12/2006 03:46 AM
Heinz ketchup did not have sexual relations with that woman
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503615
Miss Bitch 0 0
08/12/2006 03:55 AM
Warning: Asian Catsup
May contain traces of
Animals.
Warning: Do not use
On mother in-laws
Cooking.
Instructions:
For best result
Remove cap.
Heinz green ketchup
since pimps
got smart.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503616
Vyse0wnz 8 6
08/12/2006 03:55 AM
You're with me, Heinz.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503623
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/12/2006 04:08 AM
Heinz: side effects include indigestion, explosive dhiarrhea, chronic constipation, fever, chills, alzheimers, seizures, cocaine addiction, and incurable constant masturbation
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503626
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/12/2006 04:10 AM
Heinz: pepto bismol's sworn nemesis/evil twin brother
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Funny
9 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503659
KingMikeII 354 7
08/12/2006 05:03 AM
Dear Mum
Ran over dog
Sorry
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503661
youngnsassy 68 6
08/12/2006 05:12 AM
Caution: May contain tomatoes and other dyes, colourings and preservatives
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503667
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/12/2006 05:18 AM
"May be harmful if ingested"
has anyone done that one yet? if so im an idiot and you can kick me right in the babymaker
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Amusing
4 votes
1.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503681
Succubus 3,359 10
08/12/2006 05:35 AM
Mundee's Mustmayostardayonnaise.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503702
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/12/2006 06:00 AM
Made in Iceland by the tooth fairy and her band of merry vagabonds
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503715
Cantremember 658 7
08/12/2006 06:10 AM
In large, bold, mechanical letters...
TATER DOUCHE
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Amusing
4 votes
1.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503777
Bieze 1,382 7
08/12/2006 09:56 AM
"Kethcup"
...
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503781
RetardChild 221 6
08/12/2006 10:18 AM
"Made In China"
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503782
RetardChild 221 6
08/12/2006 10:20 AM
"HEINZ IS MURDER!"
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503783
RetardChild 221 6
08/12/2006 10:22 AM
I came into this post too darn late. Buggery.
"Heinz
'Sauce' Of The
Lower Class"
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Amusing
3 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503784
RetardChild 221 6
08/12/2006 10:25 AM
"Now With 63%
More Blood"
If someone did this already you can smack my bottom.
*Please, oh please be taken*
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503790
PURPLE MUFFINS 23 6
08/12/2006 10:42 AM
Now With 30%
Less Competitors
Ketchup!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503798
tianX 14 6
08/12/2006 11:58 AM
Heinz Ketchup
In this Bottle
Since 1876
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503804
Midgets 96,092 48
08/12/2006 12:30 PM
Dr. Hargraves
Hemorrhoid Ointment.
|
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503807
Demonfire You 1,039 8
08/12/2006 12:56 PM
tis but a scratch
It's just a
flesh wound
|
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503809
Godzilla's Younger Brother 256 7
08/12/2006 01:04 PM
WARNING:
PRODUCT IS
HIGHLY ACIDIC
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503818
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/12/2006 01:23 PM
You know you wanna
smack my bottom
Who's my daddy now
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503825
UncleFricker 348 8
08/12/2006 01:29 PM
Making Mormon Placentas
Taste Great Since 1876
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503846
jive sukka 12 7
08/12/2006 01:54 PM
"We kicked
the junk
out of Huntz!"
"Did you know:
Ketchup causes
stomach cancer?"
(on glass bottle)
"Try as you might,
you won't get any-
thing out of me!"
|
| |
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|
Funny
12 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503849
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/12/2006 01:56 PM
Heinz ketchup
Slow to come
Like your grandma
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503881
Balfazz 518 9
08/12/2006 02:36 PM
I scream
Your scream
We all scream foBLAM!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503884
AwesomelyAwesomeAwesomeness53363 23 6
08/12/2006 02:40 PM
Now made with
concentrated goat
testicles!
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503909
Norbert 50 6
08/12/2006 03:18 PM
Now nearly
rectum-free!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503911
Norbert 50 6
08/12/2006 03:24 PM
WARNING: For
oral use only!
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Funny
12 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503919
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/12/2006 03:42 PM
Rectum? Hell, the high salt content in that Heinz's ketchup caused him to develop cardiovascular disease and die ten years sooner than he would have otherwise.
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503922
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/12/2006 03:48 PM
heh
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503924
markreveley 8 8
08/12/2006 03:50 PM
"Heinz: Now made with 54% less artificial colors and flavorings"
Or,
"Heinz: Shampoo" (or "Heinz: Shampoo, Limited Edition") *Place in shower/bath accordingly and wait*
mwhahaha :D
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Funny
7 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503927
Willsh 53 6
08/12/2006 03:53 PM
I wanted to be
mustard, but
nooo....
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503931
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/12/2006 03:58 PM
Bonky: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503942
Bieze 1,382 7
08/12/2006 04:15 PM
"This ketchup has been in this bottle since 1876"
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503969
Glitterific 40 6
08/12/2006 05:12 PM
Fo' Shizzle
My Nozzle
Yo
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503981
cyborgelete 4 7
08/12/2006 05:32 PM
And people think I dont have a life.
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503992
Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 05:51 PM
Warning: May contain tampon.
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503993
Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 05:52 PM
Not me, the ketchup.
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1503995
Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 05:54 PM
Not today, and thats all that matters baby.
I was yesterday. How do you think we got all these bottles of ketchup to label?
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Chuckleworthy
8 votes
2.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504003
rondini 19 6
08/12/2006 06:14 PM
Hunt's Catsup
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504007
Chit 178,781 15
08/12/2006 06:34 PM
Heinz Ketchup
We're So
Frost-ing Rich
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504014
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/12/2006 06:54 PM
Play-doh
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504021
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/12/2006 07:01 PM
Heinz: Microwave Safe Bottle
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Funny
7 votes
3.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504023
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/12/2006 07:03 PM
Heinz Ketchup
Because Hunts
rhymes with Carrolls
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504037
juliar 14 8
08/12/2006 07:54 PM
Chock Full o'AIDS
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504075
MrsJoseGoldbloom 24 6
08/12/2006 10:33 PM
Here's my entry:
"Add some fun
to your buns!"
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504077
Sputum 22 6
08/12/2006 10:41 PM
Saucy discharge within!
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504083
Sputum 22 6
08/12/2006 10:43 PM
"Squeeze me, but be gentle."
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504099
kickboxer 38 6
08/12/2006 11:00 PM
Heinz: Making you forget what hotdogs are made of since 1867
Heinz: Cures cancer, really!
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504106
kickboxer 38 6
08/12/2006 11:10 PM
Heinz: Slide it on your wiener!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504107
Chit 178,781 15
08/12/2006 11:10 PM
Have Some Ketchup
And A Virus
From ZUG.COM
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504110
kickboxer 38 6
08/12/2006 11:12 PM
I forgot the list - did we need ketchup?
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504111
Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 11:12 PM
ASK ME ABOUT MY WEEEEINER!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504115
Illyria 24 8
08/12/2006 11:41 PM
Heinz Ketchup:
It's not what you think...
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504121
Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/12/2006 11:55 PM
Happy Birthday Amanda
But that thing in my pocket
Really isn't a panda
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504159
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/13/2006 01:09 AM
Heinz Ketchup: bangin your sister since '87
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504190
All the ladies love Briham and his Oozinator! 38,843 10
08/13/2006 02:04 AM
If you're going to give a bottle as a gift, rather than the usual "Will you marry me?" or "Happy Birthday" messages, how about some like "I want a divorce" or "Sorry about giving you herpes!"
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504192
youngnsassy 68 6
08/13/2006 02:09 AM
Actually has the same reasoning as a wound!
More squeeze, more blood
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Funny
7 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504193
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/13/2006 02:09 AM
"Want to see rapid growth in a matter of days?"
"Want cheap meds"
"Get your degree online today!"
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504194
youngnsassy 68 6
08/13/2006 02:12 AM
(For the ladies)Another reason to avoid sex... squeeze some "down there"!!!!!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504197
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/13/2006 02:14 AM
I think that would work for a guy too if he had to go to such lengths
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504212
Astro Fez 14 6
08/13/2006 02:33 AM
"Now with 17% less diarreha!"
OR:
"Heinz: Better than a goat!"
OR:
"If you add water, it makes it's own gravy!"
OR:
"Heinz:Now with Vitamin Q/ more sodium/ more monosdium glutamide!"
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Funny
11 votes
3.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504231
keelog 68 7
08/13/2006 02:48 AM
Use Photoshop
And Save Yourself
Six Dollars
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504239
mattlemoyne@gmail.com 8 6
08/13/2006 02:56 AM
"WTF KETCHUP LOL"
"Yeti Blood"
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504332
Hamster Davis 5 6
08/13/2006 06:10 AM
"Grip 'n' Squeeze
Designed by prostitutes"
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504341
RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 07:36 AM
"This Label
Cost $6"
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Funny
6 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504342
RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 07:37 AM
"I'm 'unique'"
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504343
RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 07:38 AM
"Frost"
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504344
RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 07:39 AM
"The End
Is Nigh"
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504345
RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 07:41 AM
"Big Brother
Has His Eye's
On YOU!"
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504384
Hodgmania 594 7
08/13/2006 10:40 AM
"Ignorance is
Strength!"
"Hint: We didn't
use tomatoes."
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504438
crazydavid 56 6
08/13/2006 12:37 PM
Mommy, Where Do
Babies
Come From?
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Amusing
2 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504442
Spotted Dog 87 7
08/13/2006 12:43 PM
Argh
I got to think. What's the last thing I would want to see in a bottle of red liquid at a restaurant?
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Funny
9 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504444
Spotted Dog 87 7
08/13/2006 12:43 PM
"Antidote"
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504485
X-DEATH 262 9
08/13/2006 01:33 PM
Sorry for giving you VD
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504487
X-DEATH 262 9
08/13/2006 01:40 PM
There's a spider on your back.
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504489
X-DEATH 262 9
08/13/2006 01:41 PM
REDRUM
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504499
Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/13/2006 02:04 PM
Sitting across from your wife
I know it's her you'd throttle
But think of us first
And instead use our bottle
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Funny
8 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504525
TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/13/2006 02:23 PM
This thread has become way too long for John to bother reading. At least, he won't read this far down. So....
I took picture of John's penis under a door in a bathroom when we were in Boston. I will send said pictures to the highest bidder.
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504530
RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 02:25 PM
$400
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504532
TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/13/2006 02:29 PM
<action>gets busy photoshopping Donk's Coleridge onto John's picture</action>I'll email you with my paypal info.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504537
RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 02:31 PM
All I need now is some way of raising that sorta cash....
hmmm...
HAMSTER FARM!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504755
wtfbbq23 240 7
08/13/2006 06:41 PM
We put the cats in catsup
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504762
Hodgmania 594 7
08/13/2006 06:48 PM
For Baby
Our secret
ingredient
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Funny
9 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504793
My Enemy Is Near 45 6
08/13/2006 07:48 PM
The
Best
Period
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504816
Mercjack 119 7
08/13/2006 09:00 PM
i know you wanted a pony for your birhtday , but having your name in a bottle of catsup is as good as that....right?
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504843
Chit 178,781 15
08/13/2006 10:07 PM
Diamonds Ketchup
Is A Girl's
Best Friend
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Funny
10 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504887
Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/13/2006 11:46 PM
I took picture of John's penis under a door in a bathroom
How the hell
Did he get it
Under the door?
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Funny
9 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504893
I'm original, really 80 7
08/14/2006 12:04 AM
"I can't believe it's not butter"
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504916
jarjo0925 41 6
08/14/2006 01:28 AM
A little bit of Henry J. Heinz in every bottle since 1876.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504923
jarjo0925 41 6
08/14/2006 01:41 AM
Sqeeze to Please
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504925
jarjo0925 41 6
08/14/2006 01:42 AM
Squeeze to Please
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504940
jarjo0925 41 6
08/14/2006 02:03 AM
A weiner taste best when lubericated
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504942
joncofey 30 6
08/14/2006 02:05 AM
Senator Clinton-
TOP THIS BITCH!
bff Theresa
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|
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1504950
joncofey 30 6
08/14/2006 02:11 AM
UNFIT FOR COMMAND?
smart enough
to marry Rich
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505046
Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/14/2006 04:19 AM
Heinz Ketchup: How John got his penis under a door
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| |
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505096
spacklepants 96 6
08/14/2006 09:07 AM
WARNING: This product turns opaque in the presence of idiots.
|
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Funny
9 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505121
Raybone 33 7
08/14/2006 10:10 AM
"My sympathies on your miscarriage"
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|
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505123
AAARibSteak 20 6
08/14/2006 10:15 AM
Hillbilly Vintage
2006 VSOP
|
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505129
The Bald Avenger 19 6
08/14/2006 10:31 AM
Topical Use Only!
|
| |
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505130
The Bald Avenger 19 6
08/14/2006 10:35 AM
Have your pet
spayed or
neutered.
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| |
|
|
|
Funny
6 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505134
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/14/2006 10:40 AM
"Making wifes' recipes edible for 130 years."
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| |
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|
|
Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505135
The Bald Avenger 19 6
08/14/2006 10:41 AM
All leather upper.
|
| |
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|
|
Funny
8 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505151
unagi 33 6
08/14/2006 11:10 AM
All your base
Are belong to us
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
6 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505154
Rochallor 38 6
08/14/2006 11:14 AM
Larry
the cucumber
is next.
|
| |
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|
|
Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505155
LuckyLuke 695 9
08/14/2006 11:15 AM
"Point whole to food"
"36 Tomatoes didn't die for this"
"Free
Under
Cap:
Knife"
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|
Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505161
MagJones 5 6
08/14/2006 11:30 AM
If you want ketchup with your Fries, Buy Hunts
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505208
Tommy III 11 6
08/14/2006 12:54 PM
Congrats on
your first period
Enjoy...
|
| |
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505224
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/14/2006 01:12 PM
Congratulations!
You've finished
Your book!
|
| |
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505225
Just say no 8 6
08/14/2006 01:13 PM
"Tasted on animals"
"T for Tomato
Cert. 18"
"May contain fruit"
"I don't love you anymore"
"I slept with your Mum"
-I think I should stop right now.
|
| |
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|
|
Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505233
DrKC9N 12 7
08/14/2006 01:19 PM
A perfect gift for your girlfriend:
"Thank you
for getting an abortion!"
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|
|
Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505260
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/14/2006 02:05 PM
I don't know
why sometimes
I get frightened
|
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|
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505273
Obespalov 4 6
08/14/2006 02:14 PM
I just finished reading all of these. That's a lot of posts.
"Take the Red Pill!"
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|
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505307
romelus 14 6
08/14/2006 03:11 PM
Now With Tomato
|
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|
Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505310
romelus 14 6
08/14/2006 03:16 PM
May Contain Tomato
|
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505317
romelus 14 6
08/14/2006 03:35 PM
Not A Toy
Do Not Use
As Lubricant
|
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|
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505322
SheCabbage 5,200 13
08/14/2006 03:47 PM
You can see my
eyes and tell
that I'm not lying
|
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505325
joncofey 30 6
08/14/2006 03:51 PM
SHHHHHH !
OSAMA IS HIDING
IN HERE..
|
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505326
joncofey 30 6
08/14/2006 03:56 PM
ATTEN: TSA
Now 100%
EXPLOSIVES Free
|
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|
|
Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505330
joncofey 30 6
08/14/2006 04:02 PM
The Official Catsup
of Islamic
Terrorists
|
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|
|
|
Funny
4 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505337
Just Not Cricket 103 6
08/14/2006 04:15 PM
I fought in 'Nam and all they gave me was this stupid Ketchup.
|
| |
|
|
|
Funny
5 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505342
crazydavid 56 6
08/14/2006 04:22 PM
I Can't Believe Its not Blood
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505352
LeeModer 0 6
08/14/2006 04:40 PM
"Your advert here only $10! Call..."
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505376
BennyHey 91 7
08/14/2006 05:21 PM
"Food's not that good? Pour me on top to mask the taste."
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505380
Brewmaster 596 7
08/14/2006 05:26 PM
Heinz Ketchup
...or is it Castup?
Oh son of a....
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505429
Nikki-Bob 50 7
08/14/2006 06:15 PM
"If Carlsberg made ketchup...it probably wouldn't taste anything like this crap."
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505435
Furious George 1 6
08/14/2006 06:21 PM
Shake me
Shake me like
a British Nanny
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505441
davewhale 4 6
08/14/2006 06:28 PM
DON'T FORGET
TO ADD WATER
AT THE END
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505445
Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/14/2006 06:31 PM
Don't take this Shakespeare
on an Airplane; you'll
ruin it for the rest of us
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505448
Thud 68,497 19
08/14/2006 06:34 PM
Warning:
Contents are not
what you think they are
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505454
Big Toxic Slug 49 6
08/14/2006 06:37 PM
Side Effects:
Headache, Nausea
Vomiting, Death.
-or-
Warning:
Hazardous Materials
Use Protective Eyewear
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505469
Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 07:14 PM
"I can't believe it's not butter!"
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505471
Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 07:18 PM
"Tomato Excrement"
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505474
Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 07:19 PM
"With A Hearty Helping Of Pork Rhinds And Breastmilk!"
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505482
Blueleprechaun eats green leprechauns 13,144 10
08/14/2006 07:25 PM
Hey Bieze, why don't you try reading the entire thread before you go and steal someones words? And same goes for that other fag above who also stole it.
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505483
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/14/2006 07:27 PM
<action> snaps his fingers.</action>
Yeeaahh, you go girl. Git his ass!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505488
Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 07:32 PM
Hm, yes. Excuse me if I'm not not up for reading 17.000.000 posts.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505490
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/14/2006 07:34 PM
17.000.000
You're too lazy to read 17 posts?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505494
Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 07:37 PM
And I wrote I it correctly too
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505495
Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 07:38 PM
Now that's pretty damn funny
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505497
Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 07:39 PM
And to my good friend Monsieur Slinky: In my country we do write that with dots in between. Honest mistake.
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Funny
6 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505499
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/14/2006 07:40 PM
Bizarro world?
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505503
MattVonFat 17 7
08/14/2006 07:42 PM
Sorry if someone else has already said these. I tried my best to check.
Quality Assurance
Failed
Incinerate
Best Before
December 1876
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505504
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/14/2006 07:43 PM
Ketchup
Now 100%
Ketchup free
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505505
Ditdah 123,110 14
08/14/2006 07:44 PM
Slinky and BlueLep are big giant twatwaffles.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505538
My Enemy Is Near 45 6
08/14/2006 09:18 PM
Hurting for a Squirting?
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Funny
6 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505726
LuckyLuke 695 9
08/15/2006 02:29 AM
Now with less then 2% caterpillar
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Funny
9 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505727
LuckyLuke 695 9
08/15/2006 02:31 AM
Nothing says "Your food sucks" - like Heinz..
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505732
Just Not Cricket 103 6
08/15/2006 05:00 AM
Emergency Class Action Kit. Just break seal and serve.
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505739
crazydavid 56 6
08/15/2006 05:30 AM
Same Great Heinz
Taste
Zero Tomatoes
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Amusing
5 votes
1.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505743
Miss Bitch 0 0
08/15/2006 05:59 AM
Carcass enhancer
since 1871
Carcinogen
neutralizer
since burnt food
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Amusing
4 votes
1.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505770
MattFu 282 7
08/15/2006 08:04 AM
Heinz Ketchup
"the condiment
of champions"
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Amusing
5 votes
1.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505817
Smokey McBongwater 50 6
08/15/2006 09:39 AM
Real
Blood of
Christ
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505829
Marjod 1,942 9
08/15/2006 10:07 AM
Ketchup or Catsup: Or how I learned how to stop worrying and love the condiment.
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505833
davidbamford 5 6
08/15/2006 10:13 AM
Wait 'til you see
the other half
of your present!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505834
Marjod 1,942 9
08/15/2006 10:14 AM
Like syrup, but not
Red and thick, like bloody snot
I put it on eggs
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505936
Rev. Thwack 236 7
08/15/2006 12:02 PM
Sorry I slept with
your best friend
-- John
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505940
Rev. Thwack 236 7
08/15/2006 12:05 PM
Klaatu
Barada
Nikto
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505962
Marjod 1,942 9
08/15/2006 12:26 PM
Heinz Ketchup
is NOT made
out of people
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1505997
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:18 PM
Felchers touched this bottle before you did
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506000
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:22 PM
We didn't want to hurt the animals so were testing it on you
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506002
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:25 PM
Bill clinton is a waffle
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506006
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:29 PM
Why is it red? We have no idea
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506009
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:34 PM
You've got weasels on your face
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506011
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:35 PM
Don't read the label. Just eat it
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Amusing
4 votes
1.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506014
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:37 PM
Explosive diarea is normal after ingesting this product
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506018
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:39 PM
Smack my ass and I'll spit blood
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506019
unagi 33 6
08/15/2006 01:40 PM
Heinz
The independant
movie maker's
blood subsitute
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506021
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:42 PM
What's in it? tomatoes, and nothing else. We swear.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506027
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:44 PM
How do you get the ketchup out??
Why don't you just ask for the meaning of life!?
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506034
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:52 PM
Don't worry, Jimmy. They're just actors. And that's not real ketchup.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506035
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 01:53 PM
The perfect maggot habitat
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506055
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 02:21 PM
It's not blood and it's not ketchup
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506058
Midgets 96,092 48
08/15/2006 02:23 PM
Again proving quantity is not a replacement for quality.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506060
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 02:23 PM
We bought the recipe from a serial killer
We bought the recipe from Hannibal Lectar
We don't know what's in it. Hannibal Lecter makes it for us
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506067
Camel Chick 65 7
08/15/2006 02:34 PM
Kerry was hoping people would start putting labels on his ketchup and not him.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506071
Camel Chick 65 7
08/15/2006 02:37 PM
"Mommy and daddy are democrats, honey."
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506083
Deaddogs and Alligator Ears luv Paxil 121 6
08/15/2006 02:42 PM
Heinz Ketchup: The least prefered ketchup smuggled on to airlines by terrorists.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506174
Ragosports 56 8
08/15/2006 04:17 PM
Turn around,
CHOOSE HUNTS!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506176
Mr Fook 4,016 9
08/15/2006 04:22 PM
Klingons
prefer Heinz on
cold revenge!
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506181
Enohead 324 7
08/15/2006 04:30 PM
Please contact us if you find Shirley's teeth in here.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506184
UnderWhere? 101,398 77
08/15/2006 04:34 PM
I took picture of John's penis under a door in a bathroom when we were in Boston. I will send said pictures to the highest bidder.
Jane - don't you remember? It was me in the bathroom at Durgin Park - that's where you threatened to kill me.
That's not a penis. My meat flaps are just kinda beefy.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506186
Enohead 324 7
08/15/2006 04:38 PM
Product of Mexico.
Or Kurt Cobain's head.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506204
Enohead 324 7
08/15/2006 04:54 PM
Ketchup.
Because salsa
is for sucks.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506223
VzMan 8 6
08/15/2006 05:15 PM
Go Ahead: Make me drop my load on your plate
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506227
Jimmy Mac 130 6
08/15/2006 05:17 PM
Thanks for
the dry-hump,
Sweetums.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506258
MissileWaster 60 6
08/15/2006 05:58 PM
If ketchup is red,
contact poison
control.
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Funny
8 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506315
Big Toxic Slug 49 6
08/15/2006 07:54 PM
Sorry, your
test came back
Positive.
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Funny
6 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506376
Demonfire You 1,039 8
08/15/2006 09:16 PM
I put on my robe
and wizard hat
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506401
Big Toxic Slug 49 6
08/15/2006 10:05 PM
Issac,
Your car is
On fire.
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Funny
7 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506433
kingyannman 422 9
08/15/2006 10:58 PM
Stick your dick in here. I dare you
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Funny
10 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506600
Bieze 1,382 7
08/16/2006 06:49 AM
Eat Now,
I'll Ketchup
With You
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506646
Just Not Cricket 103 6
08/16/2006 09:30 AM
Heinz. Resembling abortions since 1869.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506648
Caga Palo 683 7
08/16/2006 09:35 AM
Heinz: Official
Ketchup
Of P.E.T.A.
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506706
JJD 54 7
08/16/2006 11:24 AM
Put the ketchup down fatty!
Catch-up? MORE LIKE SOYLENT GREEN!
Heinz- Feeding ethiopians for years to come.
I like it when you put the knife in me.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506729
kingyannman 422 9
08/16/2006 12:06 PM
It's not blood and it's not made from tomatoes
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Funny
5 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506730
kingyannman 422 9
08/16/2006 12:10 PM
official condiment of Potato farmers everywhere
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506832
Ragosports 56 8
08/16/2006 02:37 PM
I want the Zug Mug
Give it to me!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506918
FortKnox 97 6
08/16/2006 04:46 PM
"Many tomatoes died to give you this condiment"
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506939
sandman8324 12 6
08/16/2006 05:24 PM
Enjoy...
This will be the
last thing you eat.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506983
Bieze 1,382 7
08/16/2006 06:19 PM
Sweat O' Satan
In 57 Varieties
|
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506987
Bieze 1,382 7
08/16/2006 06:22 PM
Zugchup
Broohaahaa!
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506992
Harvard Chick 16,937 8
08/16/2006 06:30 PM
Vegan's choose Ketchup because they'll never eat anything with Catsup.
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1506993
Harvard Chick 16,937 8
08/16/2006 06:34 PM
Seriously, I think my label would read:
Do my boobs look big in this?
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507104
ashleigh44 58 6
08/16/2006 10:11 PM
Heinz.
You're Adopted
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507109
Thud 68,497 19
08/16/2006 10:19 PM
Heinz Vineyards
presents it's
Windowlicker's Merlot
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507110
I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/16/2006 10:22 PM
Ruin your annoying organic friend's food!
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Funny
10 votes
3.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507114
John Hargrave 128,751 73
08/16/2006 10:31 PM
I can't afford
520 bottles
of ketchup
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Funny
8 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507117
ashleigh44 58 6
08/16/2006 10:40 PM
I'm Pregnant
(not yours)
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507123
kingyannman 422 9
08/16/2006 10:47 PM
Tastes better when green!
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507128
kingyannman 422 9
08/16/2006 10:50 PM
That's right, rub this bottle!
Touch me. Please?
Ever notice how the Heinz factory is next to a morgue?
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507146
My Enemy Is Near 45 6
08/16/2006 11:47 PM
Malbert pee red.
|
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507157
Don't Bother Me 12 6
08/17/2006 12:27 AM
Today a junkie
used his pinkie
to coax the casup
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507164
Don't Bother Me 12 6
08/17/2006 12:31 AM
*catsup
|
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507165
Kerduss 23 6
08/17/2006 12:31 AM
Help Heinz move giant monies to American bank acount belongings to you.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507168
Kerduss 23 6
08/17/2006 12:36 AM
Still has less insects than a Fig Newton.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507185
Just Not Cricket 103 6
08/17/2006 01:39 AM
Tomato sauce for dummies.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507188
GerbilNuzzle 12,005 12
08/17/2006 02:21 AM
NEW!
15% REDDER TASTE!
GREAT ON SALADS!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507190
GerbilNuzzle 12,005 12
08/17/2006 02:28 AM
NEVER COMBINE WITH
ANTI-KETCHUP!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507191
GerbilNuzzle 12,005 12
08/17/2006 02:34 AM
ce n'est pas
une bouteille
de ketchup
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Amusing
4 votes
1.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507196
GerbilNuzzle 12,005 12
08/17/2006 02:46 AM
Dilute!
Dilute!
OK!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507203
GerbilNuzzle 12,005 12
08/17/2006 03:07 AM
Official Catsup Of
Special Olympics
HOORAY!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507206
GerbilNuzzle 12,005 12
08/17/2006 03:14 AM
This stuff
+ ???
= Heroin
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507210
ashleigh44 58 6
08/17/2006 03:26 AM
Happy 56th Mom!
P.S. I'm Gay
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507211
CaseyLou 144 7
08/17/2006 05:02 AM
All new cherry warming sensation.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507215
Neophyte 9,956 11
08/17/2006 06:26 AM
Alright, alright John just pick one already!
P.S. I really want that cup!
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507336
Enohead 324 7
08/17/2006 11:46 AM
Happy 1st Period, Heather!!
Love, Mom
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507339
Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/17/2006 11:54 AM
Starting to see multiple reposts....Think this is running out of steam.
Give me the mug for smugly point that out.
Yah...I know...STFU
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507398
Deaddogs and Alligator Ears luv Paxil 121 6
08/17/2006 01:03 PM
Ask me about May Kay Condiments!
Earn $$$ and be your own boss as a Mary Kay Condiment Consultant!
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507407
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/17/2006 01:13 PM
ZUG.COM
THATS
Z... U... G... DOT COM
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507409
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/17/2006 01:14 PM
Its
Not
Pudding
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507413
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/17/2006 01:25 PM
Tomato
Flavored
Cooze
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507418
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/17/2006 01:27 PM
Trixxie's
Cajun
Doorknob Gel
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507420
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/17/2006 01:29 PM
Frat needs to stop.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507421
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/17/2006 01:29 PM
Tell me about it.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507422
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/17/2006 01:30 PM
Okay, you need to stop.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507430
Fratberry 283,018 53
08/17/2006 01:50 PM
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507483
kabochantico 16 6
08/17/2006 02:57 PM
"I'm With Stupid -->"
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507532
Nikki-Bob 50 7
08/17/2006 03:48 PM
"All your ketchup are belong to us."
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507577
spliffman 35 6
08/17/2006 04:32 PM
Easy one this... 2 words on the bottle in big letters
THE GAME
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507723
KittyMeow 12 6
08/17/2006 10:17 PM
"Warning: Coagulated Blood"
"May contain Red 40"
"Non-recyclable"
"Made out of Republicans"
"Made from the worst stuff on earth"
"No matter how you use it, its gonna stain your shirt"
"CONGRADULATIONS!! Who cares!"
"More liberal than you think"
"I'm the red-headed step child"
just a few ideas, :)
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507734
Thud 68,497 19
08/17/2006 10:22 PM
The blood
of Christ
compels you!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507762
SmileyDude 38 6
08/17/2006 11:47 PM
Dr. Ruth Says:
Always Use
A Condiment!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507774
SmileyDude 38 6
08/18/2006 12:09 AM
Your Mom Says
Hunts Tastes Like
My Sweaty Balls
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507809
M-510 7 6
08/18/2006 01:32 AM
The Best
Period.
ERR WAIT, NO!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507828
CaseyLou 144 7
08/18/2006 03:13 AM
BRASS CLEANER
Maybe with a scull and crossbones.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1507843
Mr. Bigglesworth 10 6
08/18/2006 06:45 AM
Side effects may include: great taste, smiling, asking for seconds, dysentery, death, nausea, or increased appetite!
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1508538
Sombrero Jones 10 7
08/18/2006 08:48 PM
Contains Little
To No
Hoffa
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1508539
rrdrift 15 6
08/18/2006 09:07 PM
JEWBL00D
A Mel Gibson Food
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1508540
rrdrift 15 6
08/18/2006 09:08 PM
Hey. You really
are schizophrenic.
I'm talking to YOU
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1508541
RabidSmurf 12 6
08/18/2006 09:11 PM
Hey, I have been reading this site for a long time, finally registered.. Decided to make my debut on this thread.
Check out my heinz ketchup bottle (I can't believe it made it through the word filter).
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1508775
ADent42 13 6
08/19/2006 11:29 AM
Your mother should have swallowed you!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1508804
SirGerg 0 6
08/19/2006 12:32 PM
Hillbilly
Dryhole
Remedy
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1508906
alphaomega 6 6
08/19/2006 05:51 PM
WARNING!!!
Not intended For
Human Consumption
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1509023
Twisted Uterus 5 6
08/20/2006 07:42 AM
Contents:
Grandpa's final
cough
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1509126
Your Designer 172 8
08/20/2006 02:23 PM
My Grandma Zelda Now Prefers BBQ Sauce!
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1509421
Miss-Take 17 6
08/21/2006 12:38 AM
"It's not red, it's darkish pink!"
"Oh, yes. There will be blood."
"Heinz: The result of sneezing with a bloody nose."
"Heniz: The poor man's gravy"
"Heinz: Making fast food taste better since....never!"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1509554
Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:27 AM
THE CONTEST IS OVER! IF I HAVE TO OPEN THIS THREAD THAT TAKES FOREVER TO LOAD AGAIN I'M GOING POSTAL ON THIS Shakespeare!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1509625
gormanuk 3 7
08/21/2006 11:54 AM
I know it's over but ..
Contains 10% immigrant
worker body fluids.
Guaranteed!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1509781
emadson 3 7
08/21/2006 03:36 PM
I know it's over too, but:
Your Dick
is as tiny
as this pickle
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1509782
emadson 3 7
08/21/2006 03:37 PM
I know that it's over too, but:
Your Dick
is as tiny
as this pickle
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1510056
gormanuk 3 7
08/22/2006 05:56 AM
so good you told it twice
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1510220
arrgh1 0 6
08/22/2006 12:16 PM
Seeing how my last hot dog didn't go down so well, we could warn the public of potential side effects.
May cause: nausea,
vomiting,diarrhea,
skin rash,death
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1510530
Drop D 18 7
08/22/2006 05:36 PM
If erection lasts for more than four hours seek immediate medical attention.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1534354
Shut your fat face 0 6
09/29/2006 11:30 PM
"What's grosser than
gross? Finding hair
at the bottom!!"
quote from: Chris Garret
What's grosser than finding hair
at the bottom? Why, finding a used condom at the bottom!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1534409
LitaFord 61 7
09/30/2006 02:13 AM
Those serving Heinz in cruddy restaurants: Add 2 tablespoons to 1 cup hot water for tomato soup. (Your free lemons and sugar, and water are on the way.) Tips ahoy!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1838589
mielke 1,482 6
08/22/2009 01:21 PM
"Your still going to taste it,but we will try our best"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1838592
mielke 1,482 6
08/22/2009 01:56 PM
With Viagra,, !!!
No more soggy fries!
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