Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 10:43 PM

Hi.

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
08/12/2006 10:45 PM

fat daughter!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 10:46 PM

Ive been here less than 3 months! Ive also been here more than 3 months! He wasnt that specific!

Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
08/12/2006 10:50 PM

<3 months?



I don't get it.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 10:51 PM

I dont think I did either. SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/12/2006 10:53 PM

<action>notices thread caption, wanders in, finds a seat in the back and sits down</action>So whose b00bs are we looking at?











What?

Jimmy Mac 130 6
08/12/2006 10:54 PM

My name is Jimmy Mac. I've been here for fewer than 3 months. I'm an actor, pinball wizard, and improv comic. I have a cat. Everyone likes my cat better than they like me. I met Eric Idle this summer, and he signed my Holy Grail t-shirt.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 10:56 PM

ITS A TRAP!!!11

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
08/12/2006 10:57 PM

YOu know sometimes I look at <3 and see a heart. And sometimes I see a Conehead mooning me.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/12/2006 11:01 PM

YOu know sometimes I look at <3 and see a heart. And sometimes I see a Conehead mooning me.





It's all in how much you drink.

Bonky 75,733 15
08/12/2006 11:02 PM

Hi. I'm Bonky. I'm new here. I hope we can all be pals and play motorcycles in recess. Please don't steal my lunchbox. My mom has mentals and will do something terribly embarrassing. Em bare ass ing.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/12/2006 11:04 PM

Hi Bonky! I'll be your friend if you trade me your bologna sammich for my spam sammich. Momma says spam will stay fresh forever when the world ends. Do you like my foil cap?

Midgets 96,092 48
08/12/2006 11:06 PM

Hi Chance and Bonky. I'm Midgets.



Wanna go out behind the big slide? I'll show you my gerbil.

Old Enough to Know better 160 6
08/12/2006 11:36 PM

ooh.. ooh... me.. me.. I'm new too, less than three weeks and still lurking.

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
08/12/2006 11:50 PM

Im A N00B, S0 th3re4 I hav3 to type in 1nt3rnet code Bcos itz c001.



I think I've been on here more than 3 months, but I rarely post because I find the only real funny people on here are the ones who have been here a while, and they usually get lost in all the retarted "Chuck Norris" and "George Bush" jokes, that apparently never loose their humor.

btotheizzle, whiter than a street gang 1,386 7
08/12/2006 11:57 PM

I qualify.



Still better than the average chimp.

Bonky 75,733 15
08/13/2006 12:02 AM

I've heard it said, that spam and balogna (or bologna, depending upon the brand) are made with the lips and buttholes of very ugly cows. These cows are so ugly, their baby calves are lactose intolerant.





I just watched Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. I want to dance, kill people, then dance some more.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 12:03 AM

Still better than the average chimp





No, I have to disagree. An average chimp is pretty hard to beat.



Unless it's by a retarded chimp, them suckers are a riot when you get them drunk.

Bonky 75,733 15
08/13/2006 12:03 AM

I am afraid of midgets with gerbils.

Do you put little saddls on them and yell at them for breaking pencils?

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 12:06 AM

No saddles. But I do yell at it alot.



Then I hit it.

I hit it and tell him he's a bad boy. Then he usually spits on me and I go take a nap.

Bonky 75,733 15
08/13/2006 12:08 AM

One of you just wants the other to be a better person or gerbil.

Bonky 75,733 15
08/13/2006 12:09 AM

I'm sorry. I didn't mean person. I meant midget. Midgets aren't people.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 12:16 AM

You're half right, midgets aren't people. But Midgets is.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 12:20 AM

Now I'm going to go take my gerbil and have a bowl of icecream with him.

There's a Chance I might be Daggy 86,705 14
08/13/2006 12:25 AM

I used to have a guinea pig named Wilhelmina, can I join your gang?



One time she bit me so hard, when she let go her tooth was still in my finger.

Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/13/2006 12:28 AM

honest to god, i had a three legged hamster once, i hated that imperfect Froster

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
08/13/2006 12:37 AM

Yeah they really need that forth leg if you expect them to get past the rectum.

Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/13/2006 12:39 AM

<insert post about one-armed kid here>

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
08/13/2006 12:41 AM

How do you get a one armed retard out of a tree?















































Wave.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 12:42 AM

She probably won't get too far past the rectum either.

Sniper In The Clocktower 430 6
08/13/2006 12:42 AM

ya, you have no idea the kind of public embarrassment that bitch caused me

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 12:42 AM

Eh, still works, sorta.

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
08/13/2006 12:43 AM

Whoa! When did we start talking about your mom?

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 12:46 AM

It was far less confusing talking to Bonky.



I must be too sober.

Can o' Slick 564 8
08/13/2006 01:00 AM

Ontopic: Yes I did.

RetardChild 221 6
08/13/2006 07:50 AM

damn you and your tricks, damn them to hell!!

Jihad Joe- Shhhh... I'm lurking! 6,067 8
08/13/2006 09:35 AM

I think it's been three months, but I haven't shaken the title of n00b yet.

ThirstyMcsurly, best served on the rocks 4,444 12
08/13/2006 09:39 AM

HOW DOES THE CAPS LOCK WORK GUYS? DO YOU WANT TO SEE PICS OF MY CAT? THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND POSTING RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT FAT.

There's a Chance I might be Daggy 86,705 14
08/13/2006 09:52 AM

How come Donk gets free clickies by latching on the the mother of the one armed kid?



I'm going to marry CG so I can be the fat stepmother!































Wait, that can't be right.

Bonky 75,733 15
08/13/2006 10:02 AM

Daggy, I think I would like to relocate myself to NZ. What are your winters like? If I came over with about $100,000 US, how much money or hobbit dollars or whatever you call them would I have over there?



Oh, and rectum? The gerbils didn't even know 'em!

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/13/2006 10:04 AM

Before anyone gets any ideas about pulling my panties painfully over my head, I must inform you: I'm not wearing any.



Sage talked me out of them during 99 cent/minute phone sex.

SAVVY: Knife Thrower 4,599 8
08/13/2006 10:08 AM

What's three months? I'm on C.P. Time here, buddy.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/13/2006 10:19 AM

<action>knows he's gonna regret it</action>Um, what's C. P. Time, Savvy?

Hodgmania 594 7
08/13/2006 10:45 AM

Whoa, whoa whoa. Stop. Just stop.



We get our own threads now?? What is this, the post-Reconstruction deep South??

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/13/2006 11:02 AM

What is this, the post-Reconstruction deep South??



I think it is more like a neo-anarcho-syndicalist collective, where the executive decisions are voted upon in bi-weekly meetings. On purely internal affairs, we require a simple majority vote, but in matters that concern the entire collective, that requires a two-thirds vote.



Or, so I'm told.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/13/2006 11:05 AM

Sage talked me out of them during 99 cent/minute phone sex.



Damn Sage, you know how to get them right when they come through the door huh. How many no0b woman you got under that belt?

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/13/2006 11:25 AM

Hey Chance, now that's not fair. I don't kiss and tell.



























Unless you call 1-888-SageRox. If you tell the operator that you're from GAB, you'll automatically get the first orgasm free.

Blue Bunny Batman 1,829 7
08/13/2006 11:33 AM

You called?

BlueLep 13,144 10
08/13/2006 11:37 AM

This must be the, "n00b women of GAB phone sex thread."

SAVVY: Knife Thrower 4,599 8
08/13/2006 12:05 PM

C.P. Time = "Colored people" Time









I'm expecting that warm cup of regret on my desk first thing in the morning.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/13/2006 12:14 PM

Savvy, have I ever mentioned how much I like colored chicks?

SAVIORA Throws Knives 4,599 8
08/13/2006 12:17 PM

I prefer them in marshmellow form, myself.

SAVIORA Throws Knives 4,599 8
08/13/2006 12:18 PM

...Marshmallow's good, too.

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
08/13/2006 12:34 PM

Squeeeeee!!! Those chicks are adorable!

Blueleprechaun eats green leprechauns 13,144 10
08/13/2006 12:36 PM

Squee?! Where?

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/13/2006 12:45 PM

I should've known better.



The cute chickens get all of the attention and a clever Monty Python reference gets nothing.



I weep for humanity.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/13/2006 01:20 PM

"So I curtailed my Walpole-ing activities, sallied forth and infiltrated your place of perveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles."



"Eh?"



"I want to buy some cheese."





There's still some hope alive in the world, bro.

Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/13/2006 01:23 PM

How come Donk gets free clickies by latching on the the mother of the one armed kid?



Hey, that woman is sucking me for every dime I make. The least I should get is a couple of clickies.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/13/2006 01:34 PM

There's still some hope alive in the world, bro.



Thanks Sage, I needed that.



Now, if I can just find an available GabChick to take on as a second wife, I can finally get out of this 2-year running n00b status that I find myself in.



Sucks to be me.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/13/2006 02:01 PM

Youre not a no0b goofball.

Sarah (What the Mel?!?) 30,601 8
08/13/2006 02:17 PM

I just woke up, what are we doing?

showmaster 4,754 0
08/13/2006 02:24 PM

<action>Smells a trap but is too dumb to resist.</action>



Where all the white women at?



But other than that I'm pretty much new, lurked forever, just bored this week.



I enjoy movies, long walks on the beach, and masterbating pretty much anytime, especially at the movies and beach.

Blueberry Pan-Chances 2,382 8
08/13/2006 03:01 PM

Dear alberto, I love music. I also am a big whore and love sex after long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. However, there is one thing I like more than sex, and that's grammar.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/13/2006 03:18 PM

Youre not a no0b goofball.



Thanks for saying so. How about marrying me and I can bask in your reflected glory?



I think I have some extra aposterphe's I could include in the marriage contract to sweeten the deal.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/13/2006 03:22 PM

<action>looks at his previous post</action>*Spelling dictionary NOT included*

Big Boobs McGee 6,369 10
08/13/2006 03:26 PM

Am I still a n00b? I surely am not a regular, but some of the regulars know me... I'm cool right? And that joke you pulled where you killed my mom? Classic.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/13/2006 03:38 PM

C.P. Time = "Colored people" Time



Yeow! I just set my clock forward one hour, if you know what I mean.











Yeah, I got nothin'.

Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/13/2006 03:39 PM

Am I still a n00b? I surely am not a regular, but some of the regulars know me... I'm cool right? And that joke you pulled where you killed my mom? Classic.



Have you posted your tits yet? If not, you're still a n00b.



I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

Big Boobs McGee 6,369 10
08/13/2006 03:46 PM

I would but I am a) low tech here, no cam, and b) they are too big to fit on just one screen.

Cjad the Nord 390 6
08/13/2006 03:50 PM

Nice to meat you all.



I look like Quasimodo, but lack the attractive personality.

SAVIORA, Cutlery Expert 4,599 8
08/13/2006 03:56 PM

<action>realizes that she missed a Monty Python reference completely and commits Hara Kiri to save face</action>





...That's "Harry Kerry" to you heathens...*groan*

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/13/2006 03:57 PM

I would but I am a) low tech here, no cam, and b) they are too big to fit on just one screen.



If you have a scanner/printer, you could at least press one on the glass at a time and and send those in.



Then I could print them out and hold them together to get that; "Real Life", effect.



MaddMatt: Master of low tech, low brow, solutions.

Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/13/2006 04:04 PM

I would but I am a) low tech here, no cam, and b) they are too big to fit on just one screen



If you're too low tech to have a cam to take the pic, then you're definitely still a n00b.



As for b, all I have to say is "FAT DAUGHTER!"

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/13/2006 04:05 PM

I have the same problem, I only get about a tit and a half on the cam when I take pictures.

Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/13/2006 04:07 PM

I have the same problem, I only get about a tit and a half on the cam when I take pictures.





That's what mirrors are for.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/13/2006 04:07 PM

Wouldnt there be a glare?

Big Boobs McGee 6,369 10
08/13/2006 04:15 PM

Fine, next time I am babysitting overnight, I will take a pic SUYT pic on their webcam.

Return of the son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/13/2006 04:21 PM

Wouldnt there be a glare?



Not if you do it right.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/13/2006 04:25 PM

Fine, next time I am babysitting overnight, I will take a pic SUYT pic on their webcam.





So what you're saying is "When I'm alone with someone elses child I will produce porn for all to see"?





You're going to fit in well here hell.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/14/2006 11:00 AM

<action> can neither confirm nor deny the existence of the funny in this thread.</action>



I got a rock.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/14/2006 11:07 AM

You're going to fit in well here hell.



Shes been here longer than you.

Smokey McBongwater 50 6
08/14/2006 03:01 PM

im here!

The Jerk 6,311 9
08/14/2006 04:53 PM

Am I too late? I heard there were boobs in here.

Blueberry Pan-cake 2,382 8
08/14/2006 05:17 PM

Dear GAB collective,



I accept fault for orbing noobs, and fostering their false hope of acceptance.



After giving my 10,000th orb, I've finally come to realize the consequence of my shameful action.



Though encouraging the scorn of this board can be humorous, it does not pay off long term.



I regret these actions immensely.



Sincerely,

Bl00b

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/14/2006 05:33 PM

Wow you have given more than 10,000 orbs. What a team player. Congrats on being generous man.

Currently Under a Kilt 101,398 77
08/14/2006 06:03 PM

Hey! I've given more than 17,000 clickies. To who exactly, I don't really know.



Of course, it's the same with blowjobs, so I don't really think I owe anyone an apology.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/14/2006 06:04 PM

<action> Pats Panties on the back while doing the crazy finger loopy thingy </action>



Youre wonderful too Panties!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/14/2006 06:06 PM

Hey! Ive given over 20,000 clickies myself! Although I only click Panties, Chi Chi, and Cracka.



What?

Bieze 1,382 7
08/14/2006 06:08 PM

I'm Bieze Julius Kevinmermaid III, but I'm not allowed to talk to strangers. Grandpa says they might be androids and suck my brains out. "They take your soul," he'd say, as he waShakespeare-ing me with his beltbuckle. Good times, good times we had under the christmas tree...

Thud 68,497 19
08/14/2006 06:10 PM

Heck, I'm over 30,000 orbs given. Guess who has no life.

Bean 8,602 19
08/14/2006 06:16 PM

Hi I'm Bean. If you eat me, I'll make you fart.



snausages.

Nikki-Bob 50 7
08/14/2006 06:43 PM

I've been here for less than three minutes...guess I'm the ultra n00b.

King Cargo. . . yes ladies, it's real 167 6
08/14/2006 06:59 PM

I'm new and stinky.

Caga Palo 683 7
08/14/2006 07:01 PM

I'm a n00b

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/15/2006 12:41 AM

This thread smells like a daycare.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 10:09 AM

This thread smells like a daycare.

Hmm..first guess on who's eating the paste.

Cantremember 658 7
08/15/2006 01:43 PM

"This contestant is a young scorpio, who enjoys long walks on the beach. He also enjoys needlepoint, baking, and has a dog named pumpkin."



If you can't do something with that...

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 02:18 PM

Who are you calling a dog?!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/15/2006 02:23 PM

100th

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/15/2006 02:34 PM

Sic 'em, Pumpkin! Go get 'em!

Blue Penguin 485 11
08/15/2006 02:57 PM

I'm not dumb enough to fall for thi... wait. Never mind.



Why must b00b and n00b be so similar? I was excited for a split second.

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 800 7
08/15/2006 02:58 PM

Because they have all the same letters but one.



Why do fool and tool have to be so similar?

Bieze 1,382 7
08/15/2006 04:01 PM

Because a 12 year old once told me there is more to life than the foolish pursuit of happiness. There are the Noregians, who are crafty at making woolen cloaks, or the Dwarves, who control the noble art of blacksmithery. And when in doubt, use the smelltest.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/15/2006 05:19 PM

Hmm..first guess on who's eating the paste.



Not me, I'm too busy sticking the wrong-shaped objects in the wrong-shaped holes.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/15/2006 08:45 PM

Not me, I'm too busy sticking the wrong-shaped objects in the wrong-shaped holes.







Fag.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/15/2006 09:13 PM

Let me see that paste, I'd like to shove it up your ass.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/15/2006 09:29 PM

I'd like to shove it up your ass.



Aaaaand . . . . you jump right in to prove my point.



(Some times, I just can't resist tapping on the glass.)

Rabble: Houseplant 264 7
08/15/2006 09:34 PM

I've been here almost a year. But I think my post count is at 3. I make the cut!

Lost cause 482 6
08/15/2006 09:44 PM

Let us all hope you can go another year without posting.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/16/2006 04:39 AM

Aaaaand . . . . you jump right in to prove my point.



Your "point" was made while assuming that my post was about asses. I was actually referring to those wooden shapes that you push into holes with the corresponding shapes.











Butthole.

HighSoci 30,109 18
08/16/2006 08:21 AM

<action></action>

CaseyLou 144 7
08/16/2006 09:37 AM

Been reading this for a while, just registered today to be able to post.



Why is it that the word n00b is treated like a disease?

SAVIORA, Cutlery Expert 4,599 8
08/16/2006 09:53 AM

Verbal diarrhea, delusions of grandeur, A.D.D., general stupidity...All symptoms.

BlueLep 13,144 10
08/16/2006 10:08 AM

Been reading this for a while, just registered today to be able to post.



Why is it that the word n00b is treated like a disease?



If you don't know why, you obviously have not been reading GAB for a while.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/19/2006 09:30 AM

Butthole.



Pram, you seem to have a severe anal fixation.



I'm not sure if it is because of your sexual orientation, or that your head is firmly stuck in your own.



Perhaps you should consult your Gynecologist on this matter before it becomes any worse and begins to affect your social life.

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/19/2006 09:41 AM

<action>Is stunned the n00bs don't know HS</action>JeususFrost, hi HiSoci!

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear. 96,092 48
08/19/2006 10:16 AM

Says the girl who called Werehampsta a noob.

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/19/2006 10:19 AM

I don't remember werehampsta from my prior gabbing days, it's profile says 2006, and it's not funny. Seemed rather n00bish to me.

Pram Sandwich 80,728 42
08/19/2006 11:18 AM

"Perhaps you should consult your Gynecologist on this matter before it becomes any worse and begins to affect your social life."



Too late...

Stooge 2.34 22,222 17
08/19/2006 12:03 PM

Today I finally have over 100 Orbs in each of the five tiers of humor.



I dont consider myself a nOOb anymore.



So you all can call me nOOb all your want.



Deep down inside I know Im not a nOOb.



Because my mommy says I did good, and it dont matter what the other kids say or do.



And she says, Im more special then all you bad ole' Regs put together.





Naaah-Naaah!





So excuse me while I get my crayons out, and color in my Go-Bots Coloring and Activity Book.

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/19/2006 12:10 PM

Because my mommy says I did good



That's because you didn't poo yourself and kept quit while I had sex with her.







Deep down inside I know Im not a nOOb.





HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA







Now shup up and pass me a red crayon.

Stooge 2.34 22,222 17
08/19/2006 12:14 PM

The red crayon is broken.

SAVIORA, Cutlery Expert 4,599 8
08/19/2006 12:20 PM

And just what were you doing with it?

Stooge 2.34 22,222 17
08/19/2006 01:05 PM

And just what were you doing with it?



I cant tell you.



But I ate all the blue ones.