Thud 68,497 19
08/14/2006 09:24 PM

As dangerous as this might be to add,



this post is meaningless without pictures.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/14/2006 09:25 PM

Fag.

Chit 178,781 15
08/14/2006 09:26 PM

It bleeds less when you don't have an erection.







Te more ya know...

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/14/2006 09:27 PM

Heh...it was my sack..not the weiner.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/14/2006 09:27 PM

BONSAI!

Thud 68,497 19
08/14/2006 09:28 PM

That's right, CG. I all hot and bothered over the idea of bloody testicles. It's an addiction, but the first step is acknowledging that you have a problem.

Humphrey 51,764 12
08/14/2006 09:28 PM

You shave your balls with the same clippers you use to cut your son's hair?







That's just nasty. I mean, what if he had head lice or dandruff or something?

Trae: This Side Up. 156,790 17
08/14/2006 09:30 PM

Ummm 'scuse me but aren't you usually working at your brothel around 4:30 in the AFTERNOON??



Must have been a slow day.....

Chit 178,781 15
08/14/2006 09:30 PM

Heh...it was my sack..not the weiner.



My mistake.



I can't even hear the clippers without being aroused.



It's all that gay military porn I bet.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/14/2006 09:31 PM

What if CG just gave the clippers his crabs.

Trae: This Side Up. 156,790 17
08/14/2006 09:32 PM

Then I'm guessing his son will be sent home from school soon.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/14/2006 09:32 PM

I KNEW I should have stopped once I was done shaving my legs.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/14/2006 09:33 PM

Silly Trae...this is the North.



We don't start school until September.

Trae: This Side Up. 156,790 17
08/14/2006 09:33 PM

What? September is soon. Meh.

Humphrey 51,764 12
08/14/2006 09:35 PM

Before my wife became my wife she was my girlfriend. She had a similar experience with some scissors and a fleshy area while trimming the edges. She screamed and called my to take a look. She was not amused when I suggested I stop the bleeding with my tongue.

Jane is confused. Wait...maybe she's not 173,958 15
08/14/2006 09:35 PM

I know you're not on the radio anymore, but I think you can find a way to buy a seperate set of clippers. If not, the next time you shave your kid's head, he'll get your ball blood on his head.

Trae: This Side Up. 156,790 17
08/14/2006 09:37 PM

the next time you shave your kid's head, he'll get your ball blood on his head





.....again.

Chit 178,781 15
08/14/2006 09:38 PM

You need to modify your business card to read, Wedding D.J. and Bachelorette parties.

Happy PhartSack 13,792 15
08/14/2006 09:56 PM

Before my wife became my wife she was my girlfriend.



And before that she was your faithful pet.





Here Rover!!

Chit 178,781 15
08/14/2006 10:06 PM

I decided to use my clippers..the ones I gave my kid a buzz cut with last night.







Err, umm, Dad.



You can take your finger out of my ear, dude.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 09:56 AM

I don't even want to know WHY you were down there with clippers in the first place.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/15/2006 09:57 AM

How many people would like to never have another thread about Chris Garrett's balls? Raise your hands...



1, 2, 3, ....534, 535, ...



Well, I guess that's pretty much everybody.

Caga Palo 683 7
08/15/2006 10:39 AM

Using your son's clippers on your balls is like using your wife's used tampons to stop your son's nose bleed. Okay maybe its not exactly the same but its close.

Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
08/15/2006 10:41 AM

Before my wife became my wife she was my girlfriend.



That's way too complicated. Just buy her from a catalog like the rest of us.

showmaster 4,754 0
08/15/2006 10:43 AM

I don't get it. Why is this a bad thing?

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/15/2006 10:56 AM

I have cut the ole cooch many times. At least it was on your balls, and it won't hurt when you pee.



When I gave birth to my second child, when she popped out, my inner lip broke in half, horizontally. There was so much blood, the doctor couldn't tell it had happened, so he didn't stitch me up. I now have a hair-lipped cooter lip.



I am not posting pictures, however meaningless this is without them.

showmaster 4,754 0
08/15/2006 10:59 AM

When I gave birth to my second child, when she popped out, my inner lip broke in half, horizontally.



Your momma's so ugly, when you were born the doctor slapped your mom!

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 11:06 AM

I now have a hair-lipped cooter lip



So, does it lisp now?

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/15/2006 11:11 AM

Kneel down and check. It helps if you get realllly close.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 11:13 AM

Nope..just an echo (echo echo ech)

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 11:15 AM

<action> realizes MM will never suck up to him now

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/15/2006 11:17 AM

No, but I 5 orbed you for the realization.

Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
08/15/2006 11:19 AM

I have cut the ole cooch many times. At least it was on your balls, and it won't hurt when you pee.



You're making the assumption that it's actually big enough to stretch past his balls...

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 11:20 AM

Did I mention my tounge has healing powers?

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/15/2006 11:23 AM

SSHHH you're going to make sage jealous!



But he has only offered me phone sex and mediocre poetry. He never offered to heal my wounded cooter.



Meh.

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
08/15/2006 12:04 PM

You shave your balls with the same clippers you use to cut your son's hair?

That's just nasty. I mean, what if he had head lice or dandruff or something?



It's the son's forthcoming head-crabs I'd worry about.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 12:19 PM

He never offered to heal my wounded cooter.



Neither did I, just thought I'd mention my tounge had healing powers.













NOW..if your INTRESTSED finding out first hand, email's in profile.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/15/2006 12:20 PM

Hey dumbFrost, its t-o-n-g-u-e.

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/15/2006 12:20 PM

This is one of the reasons why manscaping does not appeal to me.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 12:25 PM

No...this is a http://cti.itc.virginia.edu/~psyc220/tongue.jpg, this is my tounge...that's just what I call it.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 12:26 PM

damn tag: Tongue

Midgets 96,092 48
08/15/2006 12:28 PM

All I've read is CG cut his balls and Pumpkin brags his tongue has healing powers.



Every thing else is just filler.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/15/2006 12:59 PM

I now have a hair-lipped cooter lip.



TOO. MUCH. INFORMATION.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/15/2006 01:26 PM

NOT. FOR. ME.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/15/2006 01:34 PM

And mm, you didn't 'splain to me about your condition otherwise I'd have helped you out a long time ago.





But, "mediocre poetry"? Now that wounds me deeper than your cooter, so you can imagine how bad that is.



And you best not be tryin' to get with the pumkin man. I understand that he hasn't been laid in quite some time by his wife or his girlfriend, but that's no reason to try and claim my newest stalking victim internet friend.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 01:59 PM

I can neither confirm or deny the validity of the previous statement.















Lawyers at 20 paces, SIR!

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/15/2006 02:06 PM

Q) What do you call 2 dead lawyers?





A) A start.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/15/2006 02:07 PM

"So.....I cut my balls today."



You mispelled "dropped".

Al Cheetum 36,465 8
08/15/2006 03:00 PM

Dewey, Cheetum and Howe, LLP

1 Circle Jihrk Ln.

New York, NY 10011



Dear Mr. Pumpkin 'Pi',



This letter is to give you constructive notice that your actions on or about this date have run periously close to illegality regarding your lewd conduct toward one "mm, sucking [up to] sage" which woman is now rightful property of "Sage of Seattle".



As an aside, I do understand that some jealousy may have arisen when you discovered Sage and your wife together on the neighbor's swingset in a somewhat compromising position. A position which, may I point out, requires quite a bit of flexibility and manual dexterity.



Oh, and Sage informs me that your girlfriend is quite pleasing in a coital fashion as well.



Sincerely,



Al Cheetum



Oh and PS: Why are lawyers buried 12 feet under instead of the normal six feet under?



Because deep down, they're really good people.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 04:11 PM

<action> puts his lawer on retainer</action>







YUCKY tasting <ptuie>











Why shouldn't you call Lawyers Sharks?







It's not fair to the Sharks.

Pumpkin 3.14159265..... 56,642 8
08/15/2006 04:12 PM

DAMN IT! Action Tag Frosted up another good joke!



Put my lawyer on retainer.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/16/2006 11:09 AM

Sage,

I'm sorry dear. One day I will write you a poem to make up for my indescretion. Not today though. I'm busy.

Millie 116,988 28
08/17/2006 12:28 AM

How many people would like to never have another thread about Chris Garrett's balls? Raise your hands..



Mr. Chickens, did you not start a thread once about a pimple on your scrotum?



Personally, I don't want to hear about either of your nutsacks, assuming the two of you actually still have anything left there.



I mean, the more you talk about them, the more I wonder if they really exist or who you're trying to fool?

CaseyLou 144 7
08/17/2006 12:46 AM

Was there some sort of "Not for balls" warning label on the clippers?



I'm thinking lawsuit.



You can win loads of balls money, and drive around in your balls Aston Martin, and come home to your balls mansion.

CaseyLou 144 7
08/17/2006 12:48 AM

You can also have the clippers gold plated to hang above the balls mansion fireplace.