John Hargrave 128,751 73
08/21/2006 09:36 AM

The best one I've seen, incidentally, read like this:



I'm Joey Shabadoo and I'm an Art Director. This is a holdup. Please take all the money from your drawer and put it in unmarked paper bags. I work in the Boston office at [address] and can be reached at [phone].



This co-worker is now able to use his business card to rob a bank.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/21/2006 09:40 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Which explains a lot, doesn't it? I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 09:41 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. 1 4m 50 |337, wh3n 1 f4r7, 1 f4r7 m4(h1n3 (0d3. I work in the Boston office at 123 Fake St, and my phone number is 555-1234.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/21/2006 09:41 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. In elementary school, they called it ADHD; here, I get PAID for it. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/21/2006 09:41 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Which means I get paid a lot and I really don't do anything.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/21/2006 09:42 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. It's kind of a work/release thing. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 09:43 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director that can't figure out what to put on my own business card. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
08/21/2006 09:44 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Despite the title, I have to ask a bunch of Internet weirdos to come up with ideas to put on my business card.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 09:50 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Shakespeare piss Frost Carroll Coleridgesucker mother-Froster tits.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/21/2006 09:51 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Please help me; they have my wife and child. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 09:52 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Shakespeare piss Frost Carroll Coleridgesucker mother-Froster tits.



And I have tourettes. I work in the Boston office [address] and you can reach me at [number].

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
08/21/2006 09:55 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I have once licked the World Series trophy, and if you ask nicely, I will give you a French kiss.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



---



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I may or may not have a book coming out soon!



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 09:56 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Thank you for handling my card. Welcome to the world of AIDS.

btotheizzle, whiter than a street gang 1,386 7
08/21/2006 09:56 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. My one and only goal is Snakes on a mother-Frostin' Plane. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 09:56 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This card was kept between my buttcheeks for a minimum of six hours.

BlueLep: Time Is Tissue! 13,144 10
08/21/2006 09:57 AM

<action>is drunk and can't come up with anything better</action>I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I run a website where people post their tits so I can wack off. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 09:57 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I can't think of how to use 100 characters.

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 09:57 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Go ahead, try to resist buying whatever product I'm endorsing. It won't work. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 09:58 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Touch me. Love me. Squeeze my lemon 'til the juice runs down my leg.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
08/21/2006 09:58 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. It's a pretty cool job, but it is not as cool as being paid by Ziff-Davis to drink Syrup Of Ipecac and shake a rubber chicken in front of a camera.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



---



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. And yet I do *NOT* wear a ponytail or drive a convertible BMW.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/21/2006 09:59 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Well, not really, but I play one on the internet.

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/21/2006 09:59 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Now SMYT.

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 09:59 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Ever see a man with enhanced breasts ?

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
08/21/2006 10:02 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Ever see the Ginzu knife or the George Foreman Grill on late night TV? That was me.





I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 10:06 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. By the time you read this, I will probabally already have my own desk.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Just plain ole turtle 42,578 26
08/21/2006 10:06 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This space intentionally left blank. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 10:07 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Get up off that thing.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:07 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a creative director. The only reason I made this card is to try and get a free lunch.



You can call me for my free lunch at [number] or you can send it to my place of business in Boston at [address].

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/21/2006 10:08 AM

I am John Hargrave, a "Creative Director." I am not David Sedaris. I work in the Boston Office.

BlueLep: Time Is Tissue! 13,144 10
08/21/2006 10:10 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I eat pieces of Shakespeare like you for breakfast. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/21/2006 10:12 AM

I am John Hargrave. I am a Creative Director, think Jerry Bruckheimer rather than Matt Mahurin.



I work in the Boston office.

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 10:13 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. In fact, I'm the best Creative Director.

(working for free)





I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 10:15 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Do you have a young daughter? I bet you do. Can I see her picture? Can I keep it? I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is 867-5309.

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/21/2006 10:15 AM

I'm John Hargrave. I am a Creative Director. I painted my red Swingline Stapler yellow.



I work in the Boston office. Instead of Manhattan, where the real work is done.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:16 AM

Can I see her picture



No? Would YOU like to see some?

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/21/2006 10:18 AM

I am John Hargrave. A Creative Director.



Give me work, please. Wifey's nickname is "Imelda."



I work in the Boston Office.

Nachos 57,521 23
08/21/2006 10:19 AM

I'm John Hargrave. I am a Creative Director. I started a ketchup-based competition on my message board which I will never, ever judge as I'm too damn lazy to read it all and make a decision.. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 10:19 AM

I am John Hargrave. I am a Creative Director. I entertain total stranger with antics that usually involve by butthole.

I work in the Boston office.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:20 AM

I am John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. But I'm the most uncreative mother-Froster you've ever met.



I work in the boston office at [address] and you can reach me at [number].

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:21 AM

Or to make it more kid friendly, just make it motherfroster.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/21/2006 10:22 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Come with me if you want to live. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Nachos 57,521 23
08/21/2006 10:22 AM

I'm John Hargrave. I am a Creative Director. I started a thread on my internet message board and someone managed to Frost up an italics tag within the first 20 minutes. Sometimes I wonder why I let you people play here on my dollar. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/21/2006 10:23 AM

I am John Hargrave, I am a Creative Director.



I have no idea what that means.

I am really from Accounting.





I work in the Boston Office

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:23 AM

I liked you better when you had the Mary Poppins name.



You were much nicer.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:25 AM

I am John Hargrave, I am a Creative Director.



I have no idea what that means.

I am really from Accounting.



John, if you don't put that on your card I will personally go to Boston and kill you and anyone named Jade.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/21/2006 10:26 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I look like Edward Norton with alopecia and I fart so hard that I blow holes in my underwear. I work in the Boston office @ [address], and my phone number is unlisted, so here's my work phone: [number].

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/21/2006 10:26 AM

I am John Hargrave, I am a Creative Director. If you loved the presentation, I did it all by myself. Otherwise, you should talk to my staff.

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 10:27 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. But you probably remember me as the drunk guy who hit on your wife. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 10:29 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I look great in a chicken suit.



I work in the Boston office at [address] and you can reach me at [number].

showmaster 4,754 0
08/21/2006 10:32 AM

You want creative advice for your business card when you are the Creative Director? If you want to subcontract your work to us that will cost you $20





































Same as in town.

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 10:33 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I created a whole new language with substitutes for all the naughty words.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

RetardChild 221 6
08/21/2006 10:37 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 10:40 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 10:41 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 10:48 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Ich bin eine Creative Director.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 10:49 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. What I'd really like to do is direct. ...creatively.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
08/21/2006 10:50 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. You will soon have an opportunity to make a change to your advantage. Your lucky numbers: 3, 6, 14, 25, 36, 41.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/21/2006 10:52 AM

I'm John Hargrave, and I'm running out of space to write what I want to say! Should have made the business card taller. [phone:] [address:]

Jay Cornelius 411 13
08/21/2006 10:55 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. You've seen oddities like me before, but usually you had to pay admission.

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 10:55 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Last week I was the janitor, and next week I'll be CEO. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Jay Cornelius 411 13
08/21/2006 10:55 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Let's sit down so I can give my brain a rest. Wait.

Jay Cornelius 411 13
08/21/2006 10:56 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Don't consider me a vulture, just something a vulture would eat.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 10:58 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I like cheese. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

showmaster 4,754 0
08/21/2006 11:01 AM

My name Is none of your business, and if you want to know what I do and who I am, call (888)555-1212

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 11:02 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Do I make you horny baby ?

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 11:02 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I am deaf and disabled and in need of money so please make a donation but if you don't please enjoy this card with my compliments and God Bless.

Therah is Sarah...with a lisp. 30,601 8
08/21/2006 11:03 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This card will self-destruct in 10 seconds. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Captain Dan 44,452 11
08/21/2006 11:03 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. That's what I tell policemen anyway. I charge $16 a point. Clean needles are available.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 11:05 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. If you were an actual client, you would be reading all this on the front of a Heinz Ketchup bottle.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 11:10 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].





I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. The following is based on actual events. Only the names, locations and events have been changed.

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 11:10 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Would you like fries with that?

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/21/2006 11:20 AM

I am John Hargrave, a Creative Director.





I can get you on Oprah. Not the show, on Oprah herself.

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
08/21/2006 11:20 AM

It didn't work too well in the last contest, so i will try it again here.



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Awaiting your eager mouth. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 11:29 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 11:29 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 11:30 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. If you have a problem, yo, I'll solve it.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/21/2006 11:34 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Dead tomatoes are inside me. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 11:34 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I have a website with a 1 in 6 suicide rate. Top that.

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 11:41 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Give me a quarter and I'll sing you the Ding-a-Ling song.

BobJohnson, Chancellor of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
08/21/2006 11:49 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. KHANNNNN! I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

BobJohnson, Chancellor of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
08/21/2006 11:55 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Well, actually, I'm a business card . . . but the guy who gave it to you is probably John Hargrave. Let's not debate semantics. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

SHP - who'dyou who'dyou who'dyou think you are? 181,795 70
08/21/2006 11:56 AM

John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. In elementary school, they called it ADHD; here, I get PAID for it. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



Unless I come up with something funny, this gets my vote.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/21/2006 11:57 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director....cause you can't make a living busting pumpkins, let me tell you.

SHP - who'dyou who'dyou who'dyou think you are? 181,795 70
08/21/2006 11:58 AM

I'm John Hargrave, and I'm the Creative Director. I am not tested on animals, but I taste great on them.



I'm John Hargrave and I'm the Creative Director. You can call me Michael Jackson.



I'm John Hargrave and I'm the Creative Director. I have a twin named Jeff.

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 12:04 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. In my spare time I'm also Spanky McSpankerson TSJAKKA!. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 12:06 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. No, not really. I'm creatively yanking your collective chains. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 12:07 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. KREEYAYTIF DIE-REKTOR. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 12:10 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Sadly, this is the most creative thing I've ever done. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 12:21 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I "work" in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 12:22 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This cast is from when I broke my arm patting myself on the back. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/21/2006 12:22 PM

<action> hides behind BIG</action>

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director....cause you can't make a living busting pumpkins, let me tell you.





Thank gods for that....

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 12:24 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Please don't be alarmed, my face normally looks like this. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/21/2006 12:24 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. No, really, I am, seriously, just ask anyone, They'll tell ya, ok, I'm the key grip but still...

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Succubus 3,359 10
08/21/2006 12:30 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I work in the Anchorage office at [random address], and my phone number is [random number]. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 12:38 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Insert clever tagline here.

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 12:50 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. No, I don't really know what that means either. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/21/2006 12:50 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm also a starving artist, you have a sandwich you could spare? I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 12:51 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Jaguar- sleek and smart. For men who would like handjobs from beautiful women they hardly know!



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Gorky caught gay 41,132 13
08/21/2006 12:52 PM

Sorry, that page is missing.

While you're here, these items have also gone missing:

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 12:54 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Do these pants make me look fat?

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 12:54 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. A clever tagline I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I do crave I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. But at least I smell good I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. With Burmashave I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 01:01 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I could have written something unique and clever here, but I would have had to charge you for it.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/21/2006 01:11 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. And that's no Fat Daughter I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 01:20 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. May I jerk your chicken, mon?

The L Spot 48,662 14
08/21/2006 01:25 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a creative director. I HEART LLOYD



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 01:30 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Help, I'm being held prisoner in a printing shop.

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 01:31 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Say, you're not a cop, right?



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. There's nothing in the trunk.



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. That's Z.. U.. G.. DOTCOM.

BobJohnson, Chancellor of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
08/21/2006 01:35 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm so funny, I literally poop out other comedians. Well, now you know the story of the corn in Bill Maher's hair.

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 01:35 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This means that I am much, much better than you.

Janes without hats-everybody look at your hands 173,958 15
08/21/2006 01:37 PM

Good luck choosing a winner, John. Everybody seems to be on top of their game today.



That's why I'm not throwing mine in there. Mine would be so awesome that it would make your decision even harder than it already is.

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 01:38 PM

I think maybe I'm on someone else's game today.

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 01:40 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I sit when I pee.

Kittuns in a tube 44,835 9
08/21/2006 01:44 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. WWW.ZUG.COM. THAT'S ZEE - YOU - GEE - DOT - COM.

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
08/21/2006 01:50 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Gitcha, gitcha ya ya, da da. Gitcha, gitcha ya ya here. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/21/2006 01:58 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I stole this card. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/21/2006 01:59 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. [sic] I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I don't even know what that means.

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 02:00 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. My company and I thank you for helping the functionally illiterate. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 02:03 PM

THAT'S what I was trying to remember.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
08/21/2006 02:24 PM

Some fantastic options here.



I like Aimless' suggestion, but I might change it to:



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Does this business card make me look fat?

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 02:27 PM

To which I'd probably respond, "Only because you're not wearing enough of them."

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 02:34 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Hey, can you think of anything funny to put on my card?

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/21/2006 02:38 PM

Just draw a small stick figure with the words "Have you seen me?" under it.

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/21/2006 02:41 PM

Some fantastic options here.



I like Aimless' suggestion, but I might change it to:



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Does this business card make me look fat?





Oh yeah, take hers. You're afraid to use mine BECAUSE THE TRUTH HURTS, DOESN'T IT HARGRAVE!

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/21/2006 02:41 PM

I'm John Hargrave



[address] , [phone number]

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 02:43 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Jade: DBTC

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 02:43 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. You might be familliar with some of my work. I accidentally killed Jon Benet Ramsey.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/21/2006 02:47 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. And part time Unabomber. Oh look, they're auctioning off some of my stuff.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 02:47 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. You might remember me from such projects as The I.P Freeley Account or I Can't Believe It's Not Vagina!



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 02:48 PM

I'm John Hargrave, and you're not.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/21/2006 02:48 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Chicken butt!



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 02:49 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm in witness protection so pretend like you don't know me. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. In case of attack, this business card can be used as a weapon. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/21/2006 02:49 PM

My name is Freddy Krueger. Hahahahahahahahaha!



I killed John Hargrave, but he worked in the Boston office at [address], and his phone number was [number].

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 02:49 PM

Oh yeah, take hers. You're afraid to use mine BECAUSE THE TRUTH HURTS, DOESN'T IT HARGRAVE!



Looking back over the thread, I must have missed the one where he said,



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director and I've spurned Cracka's love.



So maybe it's really you who's hurting, huh, big guy?

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 02:50 PM

Oh, and HE SAID MY NAME!!! </swoon>

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/21/2006 02:50 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Quit looking at my crotch.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/21/2006 02:50 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Yawa nur dna tellaw rouy nelots evah lliw I tuo siht erugif ouy emit eht yb. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/21/2006 02:52 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Um, you have something on your face, no THERE. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 02:53 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Will you be my alibi for last Thursday nite?

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/21/2006 02:53 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. You might recall my last big ad campaign, "Where's the Beef?" Yea, I'm way overdue !



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 02:53 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. And a MILF.

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 02:55 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I may or may not have a foreskin.

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 02:57 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm the real Slim Shady. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

REAPER-FU 12,363 11
08/21/2006 02:57 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This was much better work in the 80's now I am almost homeless please call I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number]







I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. You just found the A-Team. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number

Achtung 7 6
08/21/2006 02:57 PM

I'm John Hargrave Creative Director. rotceriD evitaerC.

REAPER-FU 12,363 11
08/21/2006 02:59 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm much better then my brother Jeff I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/21/2006 03:00 PM

My name is John Hargrave, and I'm probably dying from all of the cleaning products I've eaten.



{{fart}} {{furt}} {{flart}}



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



Oh, my stomach.

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 03:02 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. No, I'm not a proctologist, but I know a surprising amount about rectums and I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/21/2006 03:20 PM

I'm the creatively direct John Hargrave, and I welcome all forms of sexual harassment.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 03:54 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Eway areway eingbay atchedway, actway ormalnay. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 03:56 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. MacGvyer could have used this card to save a small village in East Asia. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
08/21/2006 04:03 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm the Creative Director of Vandalay Industries. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Nubrotron 1,064 13
08/21/2006 04:06 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I only have six weeks to live. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I once ate a quarter. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Yes, I am homeless. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 04:12 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm not really a pro-op transsexual, I just play one on tv. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/21/2006 04:14 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director.

I like cheese.

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Lupience , Zinnia growing Bitch 26,981 11
08/21/2006 04:21 PM

I'm John Hargrave The Creative Direktor.Please try your nice Chinese food with chopstick, The traditional and historical of Chinese cultual.



I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

MattFu 282 7
08/21/2006 04:22 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This Business Card has Anthrax Disease on it.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
08/21/2006 04:22 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. And you're not. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. and I'd like to tell you about a very special offer from Secure Horizons. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. And I'd rather have a cup of coffee every day than save a starving child. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Would you care for a chocolate covered pretzel?. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm straight out of Compton, as if it weren't already obvious.. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 04:23 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I put the Ram in the Ram a lam a ding dong. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Aimless 54,807 10
08/21/2006 04:39 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director.

I like cheese.

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].





Ahhhhhh AH AHHAHAHAHhah!! Funny stuff there Sara.





Especially when I posted it at 10:58 this morning.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/21/2006 04:42 PM

CAT FIGHT!

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 04:45 PM

Hold 'em up a bit, it's gonna take awhile to fill up the pool with pudding.

Just plain ole turtle 42,578 26
08/21/2006 04:48 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I licked the World Series Trophy. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Just plain ole turtle 42,578 26
08/21/2006 04:48 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I use this card to pick my teeth. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Hodgmania is a WOMAN 594 7
08/21/2006 04:54 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. My business card is cooler than yours. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 04:58 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I am so wicked hahdcoah.

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 05:23 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. That's like what Wayne Dickson and Gerald Coke do, but I do it better. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Midgets-stalking Paddington Bear 96,092 48
08/21/2006 05:35 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I was aquitted, but they still make me register as a sex offender.

Cantremember 658 7
08/21/2006 06:37 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. void where prohibited, no purchase necessary, see stores for details

KChiki - Not Chi Chi Felipe 128,316 98
08/21/2006 06:45 PM

Hi, I'm John Hargrave. I'm a Creative Director. No, I'm not that guy from Mythbusters. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 06:46 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm also a fecophilliac.

Potrzebie 1,790 9
08/21/2006 06:58 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I like to masturbate while people read my buisness card. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:11 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Yes, I know I look like Joel Hodgson.

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:11 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I handed you a business card, which you are now reading.

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:15 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. That outfit makes you look fat.

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:16 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. That outfit doesn't make you look fat, but your fat does.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/21/2006 07:21 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Now that I have your attention, can I take a few moments to tell you about how I found Jesus? I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:24 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. You may have seen me on Goatse.

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:25 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Frosty sucky five dollah.

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:26 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. The allegations were never proven.

Thud 68,497 19
08/21/2006 07:26 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. "Creative Director" means I direct porno films. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Werehampsta 6,375 8
08/21/2006 07:27 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I've already forgotten your name.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/21/2006 07:29 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a creative director. And I have the casting rug burns to prove it.

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 07:31 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This card will selfdestruct in 5... I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 07:32 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I also enjoy long walks along the beach, fine cuisine, fly-collecting and postage stamp-licking. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 07:33 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Shiggity Shwa. Shiggity Shiggity Shwa. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/21/2006 07:34 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. My parents never bought me any toys, so I learned about creativity at a young age.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/21/2006 07:35 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. My mama sang base, my daddy sang tenor.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/21/2006 07:41 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I am slow to come, like your grandmother.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
08/21/2006 07:42 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I bet the last guy I gave my card to is pretending to be me. Did you check his ID? I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/21/2006 07:50 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. One time, I ate WOW! potato chips and didn't change my underwear for a week. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 07:58 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I can't believe it's not butter! I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Bieze 1,382 7
08/21/2006 08:06 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I shot JFK. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Cantremember 658 7
08/21/2006 08:50 PM

Ugly is she who

must ridicule difference

to feel more special

Thud 68,497 19
08/21/2006 08:55 PM

What does the bad haiku have to do with this thread?

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
08/21/2006 09:03 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. Thank you for not making fun of my lazy eye. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Cantremember 658 7
08/21/2006 09:05 PM

Sorry, There is never an excuse to be in a drunk-haiku mood.... ever. I am banning myself for 2 days.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
08/21/2006 09:08 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This card that youare holding is tainted with Anthrax. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Piquantrax - Tourist Season 8,691 9
08/21/2006 09:42 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm new to the neighborhood and the government requires me to inform you that I a convicted sex offender. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Piquantrax - Tourist Season 8,691 9
08/21/2006 09:43 PM

<action>lost an m somewhere in the mix</action>

The L Spot 48,662 14
08/21/2006 09:44 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I have a total boner for Aimless, so I didn't even read anybody else's suggestions. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

The L Spot 48,662 14
08/21/2006 09:45 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. At least I think I am. maybe that's someone else. I forget. But something I do know is that I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 09:52 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 10:16 PM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. My brother told me that 'nepotism' means I'm really smart. That's how I got this job. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/21/2006 11:16 PM

HI! My name is

my name is

my name is (chicka chicka)

John Hargrave



I don't use my home phone 'cuz it exploded. Too many Donkey calls are makin' me feel bloated. 'Cuz I'm havin' what he's havin'and what else he's downloaded. Oh no, a virus to the server! Now everyone's gettin' choaded!



My work phone is (work phone)

My address is (address)



My obviousness is (showing)

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/21/2006 11:29 PM

He said a business card. Not a poster.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/21/2006 11:37 PM

Oh Frost, I just got Fratted.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
08/21/2006 11:55 PM

Hi my name is John Hargrave You got a problem with that beiotch? you can reach me at (insert pager number here)

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 12:20 AM

Hi, I'm John Hargrave. I am a Creative Director, which leaves me with enough time out of the day to get the power up and win the game.



You can reach me at roflcopterl337g4m0rz@angelfire.com

Livewire 78,229 13
08/22/2006 12:30 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. 8================================D

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Livewire 78,229 13
08/22/2006 12:32 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. By the time you read this, I will already be dead. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Livewire 78,229 13
08/22/2006 12:37 AM

This is money:



I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I suffered severe head trauma and sometimes become lost or confused. Please help me find my way back to my office. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/22/2006 12:42 AM

Does anyone else find it weird that John works at such a generic place his work address is [address] and his phone number is [number]?

Potrzebie 1,790 9
08/22/2006 02:42 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I overcharge. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Potrzebie 1,790 9
08/22/2006 02:44 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I kill babies for fun. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 06:26 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I am a Creative Director. If you are reading my business card, it means we must have met in a bar somewhere. Please don't tell my wife.

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 06:26 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I am a Creative Director. I can't believe you haven't orbed me yet. Don't make me ban you !

I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

KingMikeII 354 7
08/22/2006 06:43 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I create pretty little business cards. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

KingMikeII 354 7
08/22/2006 06:44 AM

It wasn't all supposed to be in italics! The preview screen is a filthy liar.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
08/22/2006 07:20 AM

Livewire's is pretty good, too.



Anything having to do with severe head trauma is funny. Unless, you know, I actually got severe head trauma. Then it would just be a statement of fact.

Tweak weighs the same as a goose now 18,881 12
08/22/2006 07:49 AM

But still equally as funny!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/22/2006 08:55 AM

John has a boner for Livewire?

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/22/2006 09:17 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director.I'm also the Tooth Fairy. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].







I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. This week. I work in the Boston office at [address], and my phone number is [number].

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 09:31 AM

I'm John Hargrave and I'm a Creative Director. I'm 2 legit, 2 legit 2 quit.

I'm slangin' at da Boston office, at [address]. My celly is [number]. Hit me up, homebitch!

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 09:33 AM

I'm John Hargrave, I'm a Creative Director. Shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your bootay. I work at The Boston Office at [address], and my phone number is [number]