Bean 8,602 19
08/21/2006 10:13 PM

I have a long enough tongue, that I can put it into my nasal cavity through the back of my mouth.



*insert sex joke here*

Janes without hats-everybody look at your hands 173,958 15
08/21/2006 10:15 PM

My mommy says I'm speshul.

Janes without hats-everybody look at your hands 173,958 15
08/21/2006 10:17 PM

Also considered-



My extra 21st chromosome. .

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 10:20 PM

Damn Bitch, I was waiting for you to post again so I could say this but I'll just say it now.



Shut up Anita.

Tufty the Squirrel 5 6
08/21/2006 10:20 PM

I bear a striking resemblance to Jesus.



And my friends wont shut the Frost up about it!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 10:21 PM

Hey look, its Jesus! He's back dudes! I told you he was coming! Whos sorry now bitches?

btotheizzle, whiter than a street gang 1,386 7
08/21/2006 10:22 PM

I can smell my feet.





Boy do they smell.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 10:22 PM

Oh damn, false alarm guys...It was just a no0b.



I'm so embarrassed, I do this all the time.

BlueLep: Time Is Tissue! 13,144 10
08/21/2006 10:23 PM

I thought I was Jesus. Frost.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 10:24 PM

Bitch, shut up before you piss me off. Bend over and grab your cankles honey, cause youre going to get a helluva ride.

BlueLep: Time Is Tissue! 13,144 10
08/21/2006 10:26 PM

Dear Miss Bitch,



You are the worst scum on this planet.

If I was there, I would put my hand down your throat, pull out your spine, and slap you with it.

Then I would take a chainsaw and you know the rest.

Please stop posting.

Frost Off And Die Now. A horrible horrible death.



~The Blue Leprechaun

The Secret Ingredient Is Zolton 88,200 34
08/21/2006 10:27 PM

I'm special because I never post responses in stupid random thre-DAMMIT!!

Janes without hats-everybody look at your hands 173,958 15
08/21/2006 10:27 PM

Bend over and grab your cankles honey, cause youre going to get a helluva ride.



Huh. I thought she was just making words up.

SHP 181,795 70
08/21/2006 10:28 PM

<action>looks into the mirror.</action>



I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 10:31 PM

Huh. I thought she was just making words up.



I'm ahead of my game, baby.



So tell me, do these jeans make me look bitchy?

SHP 181,795 70
08/21/2006 10:32 PM

No, but that attitude makes your ass look Frostin' huge

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 10:33 PM

Its not the attitude, MY ASS IS Frost-ing HUGE!



bitch!

BlueLep: Time Is Tissue! 13,144 10
08/21/2006 10:34 PM

Hey, some people like big asses!

SHP 181,795 70
08/21/2006 10:36 PM

Its not the attitude, MY ASS IS Frost-ing HUGE!



Then it goes well with that enormous chip on your shoulder.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/21/2006 10:37 PM

Then it goes well with that enormous chip on your shoulder.



Honey, if there was a chip on my shoulder, I would have done ate it. Who are you trying to kid?

BlueLep: Time Is Tissue! 13,144 10
08/21/2006 10:39 PM

What did Chip ever do to you? Now Dale is all alone!













Whore.

Fartpuppy 5,142 13
08/21/2006 10:40 PM

The helmut and drool make me special!

Robin® 14,626 10
08/21/2006 11:00 PM

I make chainmail head pieces. (More hobby than hidden talent)



And I am now a NASA Scientist.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/21/2006 11:05 PM

I'm special because I can turn a woman gay just by asking her out.

Punkin. I've been here before, thanks. 3,585 11
08/21/2006 11:06 PM

I'm special because A) I finally broke down and graduated from collge and got a Real Job, B) I'm a "medical professional" heheh, and C) I keep resurfacing every couple months to check on you Frosters.



And somehow, that makes me hella special indeed.

Sage of Seattle (Primoris Ego Seductor Femininae) 36,465 8
08/21/2006 11:11 PM

What makes me special?



Special? Que? See, real -- Life is better. Cheerio!





<action>wonders if anyone will really get this joke, but decides to post it anyway</action>

Midgets 96,092 48
08/21/2006 11:16 PM

I always knew you were a bit of a Fruit Loop.

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/21/2006 11:18 PM

Downs Syndrome.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/22/2006 12:03 AM

"What makes you special?"





This helmet on my head reminds me that I'm special everyday.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 12:06 AM

I can smell btotheizzle's feet.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 12:13 AM

I can pee lying down, but it splashes back in my face.

Yorkie Thompson is in a damn good mood, bitches. 60,724 12
08/22/2006 02:23 AM

Being better than all of you.

Potrzebie 1,790 9
08/22/2006 02:37 AM

My friends at Gab call me a gentle snowflake

To Be Chickens or not To Be Chickens 286,539 61
08/22/2006 03:36 AM

I've never had period sex. Well, yes I have.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/22/2006 07:34 AM

Apparently I'm special because I remember who Punkin is.



Hey girl! Stick around for a change.

Tweak weighs the same as a goose now 18,881 12
08/22/2006 08:03 AM

My thumbs go backwards in a way that looks rather unnatural.

I can drink Southern Comfort through a beer bong.

I love climbing things, then jumping off them.



There's plenty more, some of which would go nicely with pictures, but I'm lazy.

Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
08/22/2006 08:45 AM

I can take 11 inches of Coleridge and a guy's balls down the back of my throat.

dinesh 24,862 16
08/22/2006 09:19 AM

holy Shakespeare, it's punkin!

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/22/2006 09:29 AM

Plus Punkin is cute, the life of the party, and has a great rack.

showmaster 4,754 0
08/22/2006 09:39 AM

I can take 11 inches of Coleridge and a guy's balls down the back of my throat.



That is disgusting! Where do you live? Ever been to 'Robbies?'

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 09:46 AM

I can jack off three times a day and still be awake enough for sex with a fine-ass lady.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 09:47 AM

I'm also hung like a child's swing set.

showmaster 4,754 0
08/22/2006 09:50 AM

Big deal, I can jack off at a rate of 8 strokes per second, and switch hands on a re-lube without missing a stroke.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/22/2006 09:59 AM

I can suprisingly barf on command.

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/22/2006 10:02 AM

I an shove a drum stick up my nose.....



















ok..I did it ONCE, and it wasn't on purpose...but it made for a special evening, and a great ending to our gig.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/22/2006 10:02 AM

I can post on GAB, do a crossword puzzle, breastfeed the baby, and smoke a cigarette all at the same time.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/22/2006 10:05 AM

So you smoke and breastfeed? Cig smoke is transferred through your breast milk not to mention the second hand smoke that is going into your kids lungs. Child abuser.

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/22/2006 10:06 AM

Can I have a drink? I'm nicin' out!

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/22/2006 10:07 AM

<action> looks at the soap box Chance is standing on and wonders if it can support the weight</action>



So you smoke and breastfeed? Cig smoke is transferred through your breast milk not to mention the second hand smoke that is going into your kids lungs. Child abuser.

Bankey 70,843 10
08/22/2006 10:08 AM

I'm special because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's usually something unusual. Like an omelette or something.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/22/2006 10:09 AM

I'm sorry. I thought this was a FUNNY site. NO I don't really smoke around the baby! Good God!



I do smoke, but the pediatrician said smoking was not a reason to not breastfeed. Did you know breastfed babies have a 50% less mortality rate than formula-fed babies? Whether or not the mother smokes.



Please forgive the lack of funny in this post.













Eating dead babies is considered teh funny, but smoking around live ones is not. I need a handbook for GAB.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/22/2006 10:09 AM

I love it when you sweet talk me.

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/22/2006 10:10 AM

I can peel a baby with a potatoe peeler and make it so that I just have one 30 foot piece of skin.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/22/2006 10:13 AM

I bear a striking resemblance to Jesus



How do you know what Jesus looked like? If you're not Osama Bin Terrorist, I doubt you look anything like Jesus.

Nachos 57,521 23
08/22/2006 10:13 AM

Eating dead babies is considered teh funny, but smoking around live ones is not. I need a handbook for GAB.



Smoking around babies is NOT funny.



It's the cancerous tumours they develop that get the laughs.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/22/2006 10:14 AM

Whats red, bubbly, and taps on the glass with trembling hands?







































A baby in the microwave asking for a cigarette.

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/22/2006 10:24 AM

I bear a striking resemblance to Jesus



Does that mean if we hit you you look like Jesus?

Bankey 70,843 10
08/22/2006 10:27 AM

No it means he looks like a drunk Mel Gibson.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/22/2006 10:27 AM

does that mean if we hit you you look like Jesus?



No, it means that he actually thinks Jesus was a white dude.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/22/2006 10:28 AM

Jesus was Jewish. If he was as anti-semetic as a drunk Mel Gibson, either hilarity or suicide would ensue.

Bankey 70,843 10
08/22/2006 10:29 AM

either hilarity or suicide would ensue.





Are you suggesting it couldn't be both?

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/22/2006 10:50 AM

That would be special.

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/22/2006 10:55 AM

I do smoke, but the pediatrician said smoking was not a reason to not breastfeed.



Also not a reason to not get pregnant and chain smoke the whole 9 months? Who is your physician?

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/22/2006 11:03 AM

If anyone has my back, Im glad its you Sarah. Want my front too?

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 11:04 AM

I do smoke, but the pediatrician said smoking was not a reason to not breastfeed.





Cool part is when their skulls are still soft, you can sort of push a dent in them and it makes a perfect pocket to hold an ashtray while the kids are suckin nipple.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/22/2006 11:16 AM

Oh dear God.



Here. Take my baby. Take the boy, too. I am unfit to be a mother.

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/22/2006 11:18 AM

I've got the beer, the flour and the cooking oil....

Who's up for some Beer Battered, Smoked kid?

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/22/2006 11:20 AM

The first step is admitting you have a problem. Give me about an hour, I'll have Ollie over to pick the girl up and I'll need an age on the boy to properly place him.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/22/2006 11:22 AM

He's 5, and I have often considered military school.



The girl is 1 1/2 and is worse than the boy. Must be all that nicotine in her system. Or the crack/caffiene mixture. She should be placed somewhere well padded, without anything to climb on.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/22/2006 11:24 AM

She should be placed somewhere well padded, without anything to climb on.





Well, you just described Ollie to a T.

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/22/2006 11:26 AM

<action> Sadly puts away his copy of "Cooking Kids for Fun and Profit" cookbook.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/22/2006 11:27 AM

You know what Chance? Even if you've given me a little bit of a hard time here, I like you. You're fun.



You want a drink of smoke-enhanced breast milk?

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/22/2006 11:35 AM

If I were a man, I'd be able to suck my own Coleridge. As a female, I can't quite reach.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,275 14
08/22/2006 11:40 AM

You want a drink of smoke-enhanced breast milk?



I bet thats lovely with coffee.

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/22/2006 11:40 AM

Want my front too?



Do I ever!!!

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 12:07 PM

What makes you special?







I guess I'd have to say this interesting dent I have in my skull that my mom tells me I got as an infant somehow.

Millie 116,988 28
08/22/2006 02:21 PM

MM, how bratty are your kids?



Sign up for Super Nanny! I love that show.

Millie 116,988 28
08/22/2006 02:23 PM

Oh, man...they are going to be looking for bratty kids in Portland, Maine next week.



I wish I had kids so she could come stay with me for a week.

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/22/2006 02:28 PM

Go find some brats at the park...candy works well to get them in the car.



Or so I've heard.

dinesh 24,862 16
08/22/2006 02:29 PM

i'm a creep.

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 02:30 PM

Sign up for Super Nanny! I love that show.





You have to be kidding, right ?



They now have a reality show where a British nanny comes over and shakes your babies for you ?



Frost, I'd even watch those reruns.

Millie 116,988 28
08/22/2006 02:36 PM

Oh my God, it's the best show.



Not as good as Wife Swap, but almost.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/22/2006 02:40 PM

Oh, man...they are going to be looking for bratty kids in Portland, Maine next week.



I wish I had kids so she could come stay with me for a week.



I'll come over. I'll bring my daughter. Make me cookies.

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/22/2006 02:40 PM

I love Super Nanny. Me and my 5 year old watch it, and I show how how bratty the kids are, and that if she acts like that, I'm going to bring some crazy british lady in the house to shape her up.

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/22/2006 02:42 PM

Does anyone realize that the families are always richy white families with ridicoulously large houses, and pretty much everything money can buy, and the wifes are always stay at home moms with 4 kids under the age of 5?



Really, they shouldn't be complaining. Birth control is readily available.

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 02:45 PM

This week, special guest on Super Nanny, The Tossed Salad Man !







NOOOOOO MOMMY, NOOOOOOO !

Millie 116,988 28
08/22/2006 02:46 PM

That's 'cause poor people know how to raise their kids right!



Meh, not really, as anyone who shops at Wal-Mart can attest.



It's probably because Jo the nanny has to stay at the house for a week, and she doesn't want to stay in a dump.

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 02:50 PM

What's in it for the British Nanny ?



Is it like a, "shake your children for dental work" program they have going on or something ?

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/22/2006 02:51 PM

That and the "Rich makes Bitch" laws of child rearing.

MattFu 282 7
08/22/2006 03:04 PM

I grab my ankles and stick my butt in the air when ever there is a severe thunder storm.

Sarah (Fill in the parentheses!) 30,601 8
08/22/2006 03:05 PM

Are you sure its not because you're just plain retarded?

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/22/2006 03:08 PM

plain retarded?



I've seen/met "Plain" retarded..That's not plain.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/22/2006 03:10 PM

It's New and Improved retarded, now with more skidmarks!!

backdoorsushi 97 6
08/22/2006 03:22 PM

I can make Yakof Smirnov cry

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/22/2006 03:38 PM

Big deal, I can jack off at a rate of 8 strokes per second, and switch hands on a re-lube without missing a stroke.



Wow, that's a lot of strokes! It's a wonder that there is anything left of your brain!

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/22/2006 03:40 PM

Nanny 911 has all the violent poor redneck kids. 7 kids in one trailer seems to be a catalyst for sibling problems.

Chit 178,781 15
08/22/2006 03:45 PM

What makes you special?







It's the sauce, Baby !

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
08/22/2006 04:39 PM

I cast spells and make Bailey's ice cream shakes for all my friends at our BBQ's.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
08/22/2006 06:03 PM

Bailey's ice cream shakes are sooo good.



And sooo bad when you're lactose intolerate, but you can't make yourself care because they are sooo good.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
08/22/2006 06:03 PM

And I'm not special. I'm mind-bogglingly average.

Windex 21 7
08/22/2006 06:07 PM

I have a baseball card signed by Cal Ripken Jr.

Doll of Troy - Is it football season yet? 3,467 8
08/22/2006 06:15 PM

I have long toes and can pick things up with them.

BennyHey 91 7
08/22/2006 06:22 PM

Wasn't that a scene in Breakfast Club?

ThirstyMcSurly 4,444 12
08/22/2006 08:01 PM

I'll tell you why I'm special...my extra chromosome.

Piquantrax - Tourist Season 8,691 9
08/22/2006 08:05 PM

<action>totally original</action> My extra chromosome.

ThirstyMcSurly 4,444 12
08/22/2006 08:08 PM

hey I retarded give me a break. Worst mutant ability ever.

SHP 181,795 70
08/22/2006 10:00 PM

Really, they shouldn't be complaining. Birth control is readily available.



Birth control is really one of those "20/20 hindsight" things.



Now, they need to look towards things like duct tape and wire hangers.

Johnny Virgil 2,359 7
08/22/2006 10:29 PM

I can write things in a mirror image very quickly from right to left with my right hand. It comes in handy when you're writing "LEARN HOW TO PARK, Emerson" on the dirty passenger-side window of the Shakespearety minivan that parked too close to you at the mall.

Sarah (Donde esta mis pantalones?) 30,601 8
08/22/2006 10:31 PM

Now, they need to look towards things like duct tape and wire hangers.



I'm glad I only paid $400 and took a day off work.



Thanks, liberal Illinois!

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/23/2006 12:30 AM

400 hundred dollars! Did they let you keep it? I would have demanded something for that kind of money.



What are we talking about? I think Im confused.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/23/2006 12:31 AM

Because hate is a great thing when you know people's home addresses.

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/23/2006 12:34 AM

Hey BIG, I dont know if Ive mentioned this lately, but I hate you.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/23/2006 12:41 AM

I've seen your vagina.

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/23/2006 12:42 AM

Who hasnt?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/23/2006 12:43 AM

People that don't matter.

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/23/2006 12:43 AM

Fine, youre okay sometimes.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
08/23/2006 12:46 AM

You're just upset that I don't really suck.

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/23/2006 12:49 AM

Fine, here it is. Hell if Undies can do it, so can I. NSFW

Dianapop 57,835 109
08/23/2006 01:04 AM

Chance is going to get banninated from imageshack!

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/23/2006 01:06 AM

Oh Diana, you dirty girl. Come to momma.

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/23/2006 07:41 AM

Meh, its true..imageshack has no sense of humor.

Pumpkin Seeds- slow roasted over an open fire 56,642 8
08/23/2006 10:09 AM

I have long toes and can pick things up with them.



Doll sitting in a pub somwhere, some guy walks up, suddenly he hears 'How YOU doin!"

He looks at Doll, but she's not paying attention.

Then he hears "Can I buy you a drink?" from her direction....realizing she's not saying a word, let alone looking in his direction, he looks down.



There are her freakishly long toes, smiling from nail to nail, and winking at him....



Then they say "Hey, how 'bout we ditch this chick and go make out?"

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/24/2006 05:45 PM

My mom says I have autism. I was in special ed and had to go to private schools because I almost died one time when someone took me outside and stuffed me, ass-first into a plastic hamper, and left as it started to rain.

Bieze 1,382 7
08/24/2006 05:53 PM

I have the awesome ability to have abilities.

I'm also great at wetting myself, my bed and people in my vicinity.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/24/2006 05:58 PM

Stone Cold Bikini: And I'm not special. I'm mind-bogglingly average.



Way to screw up the curve for the rest of us, kiddo.

All work and no play makes Yorkie a dull boy 60,724 12
08/24/2006 05:59 PM

Haha.



Sweet. With the post deletion, GAB totally just called Chance a bitch.

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
08/24/2006 08:09 PM

My amazing Coleridge.



At least that's what my wife girlfriend says.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
08/24/2006 08:20 PM

my non existant gag reflex, and ability to control pain.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
08/24/2006 08:29 PM

my non existant gag reflex, and ability to control pain.



When I was in highschool, I was a bit of a fag hag. All my best friends were gay men. Except for two, but one of those was a very butch lesbian, so she still counts.



One of the most scarring incidents of my young life happened when I was fifteen, and I was talking to this guy who was after one of my aforementioned gay best friends. Word for word he tells me "I have two skills. One, I can fit my fist in my mouth," which he proceeded to show me, "and two, absolutely no gag reflex," which he also demonstrated. "These two things combined come in very very handy." At this he gave me a huge wink, a nudge, and nodded in the direction of my friend.



It was just a little too suggestive for my young mind to handle.

To Be Chickens or not To Be Chickens 286,539 61
08/24/2006 08:46 PM

Bikini, please to be explaining your name.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
08/24/2006 08:52 PM

I have before, and it's really lame. It just comes from a song lyric by Julie Ruin from the song "Valley Girl Intelligesia." It goes "I say I say an intellectual genie. Granting girls' wishes from a stone cold bikini."





See? Not very exciting.





I used it for awhile, and then I stopped. But then in my first year of university, my friends and I used to have shaving our legs parties in the dorm bath tub, and run around drunk after in our bikinis as "bikini ninjas" and I started using it again.





See? Still not very exciting.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/24/2006 10:37 PM

What makes me special. Come back and check tomorrow.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/24/2006 10:57 PM

Or now.

Queen Chance 171,275 14
08/25/2006 07:45 AM

You have the ability to make me start threads? Man, youre sexy.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/25/2006 07:51 AM

pssssst



How long do we have to keep pretending we can all see and hear Chance's imaginary friends?