Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 10:22 AM

Always poke the eyes out of the clerk in the drive in window. They can't tag your plates.

The Jerk 6,311 9
08/25/2006 10:25 AM

If you're Frost-ing a girl doggystyle, pull out and spit on her back. She'll think you came and when she turns around... POW! Right in the kisser!

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 10:28 AM

Never, I repeat NEVER masturbate with any lotion with "Exfoliating" in the name.



Will literally End.In.Tears.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 10:33 AM

Unless you have blackheads on your penis. Then its ok.

Traeaneurism 156,790 17
08/25/2006 10:33 AM

Don't try to bake a loaf of bologna and try to pass it off as ham. It really cooks much faster then actual ham.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 10:36 AM

Don't ever attend a cocktail party at Trae's house.



All she has is bologna.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 10:36 AM

Burnt.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 10:36 AM

Going to a GAB gathering is a lot like going to Vegas. The motto is what happnes there stays there but everyone knows you are only going to see boobs, get drunk, lose money and have sex with strangers.

The Secret Ingredient Is Zolton 88,200 34
08/25/2006 10:37 AM

That seems to be Midgets' problem, too, by the sound of it.

The Secret Ingredient Is Zolton 88,200 34
08/25/2006 10:37 AM

I STAND BY MY SIMULPOST!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 10:37 AM

Going to GAB is more like drinking well water from Mombay, India.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 10:39 AM

Because the water in Bombay is better.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/25/2006 10:40 AM

Adding extra vowels will make you look like a damn dirty Canadian.

All the ladies love Briham and his Oozinator! 38,843 10
08/25/2006 10:41 AM

I bet people would enjoy walking their dogs more if they were also allowed to take a dump on the sidewalk.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 10:41 AM

Never ride down a razor blade banister. The girls did and I don't think they liked it.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
08/25/2006 10:42 AM

Don't buy condoms from a vending machine in the bathroom of a bar. They're defective.



(well, that's what my father says anyway)

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 10:43 AM

If you are friends with a lesbian be sure that you never have a tuna sandwhich before visiting or they might get the wrong idea baout you.

The Jerk 6,311 9
08/25/2006 10:43 AM

Adding extra vowels will make you look like a damn dirty Canadian.



Hey Chickens, what's your favourite flavour of ice cream, neighbour?

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 10:44 AM

Never hide your WMDs in Syria.

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/25/2006 10:45 AM

Don't wash tighty whities in the same load as new jeans.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 10:45 AM

<action>decides to throw one in for the new people</action>



If you think it's funny and your friend in the "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt thinks it's funny, don't start a thread about it, because it isn't.

Bankey 70,843 10
08/25/2006 10:46 AM

I have an ass and a hat and both of them have a hole.



Also, it's a prove fact that Shakespeare-ing fire honestly will save your matches.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 10:46 AM

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. However if you're drunk, complain loudly about jews.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 10:47 AM

Never put bear references in your name when Declan is around.

The Secret Ingredient Is Zolton 88,200 34
08/25/2006 10:47 AM

Asking 'What Would Jesus Do?' is highly overrated.



Jesus probably wouldn't have stuck his tongue in there in the first place.

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/25/2006 10:48 AM

Unless you have blackheads on your penis.



No, that'd be the Pubah.

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/25/2006 10:49 AM

People in glass houses should shower elsewere.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 10:50 AM

Unless they're hot.

Chit 178,781 15
08/25/2006 10:51 AM

If your girlfriend has a yeast infection and you still go down on her, you will totally blow your low carb diet.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 10:52 AM

Unless you used baking soda toothpaste, then you're making muffins.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 10:53 AM

If your girlfriend has a yeast infection and you still go down on her, you will totally blow your low carb diet.



When you could have just said "no".

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/25/2006 10:54 AM

Girls do not have penises.



Ever.

Chit 178,781 15
08/25/2006 10:56 AM

Or if your girlfriend is ever on her period but you still want to have sex with her, it isn't nearly as distracting if you just pretend you are killing her.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/25/2006 10:58 AM

Don't buy condoms from a vending machine in the bathroom of a bar. They're defective.



Dude, and you posted RIGHT after Dead Robot. You missed a good opportunity there.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 10:58 AM

If you are really short on caShakespeare's still not a good idea to sell more than one kidney.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 10:59 AM

Safety goggles aren't just your friend in the workshop, they also do a good job of blocking mace.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 10:59 AM

If your boyfriend is having sex with you while you're on your period, and pretending to kill you to distract himself from the period blood, you probably should date somebody else.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 10:59 AM

Are you saying I'm illegitimate?

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 11:01 AM

Just because you have holes in your body doesn't necessarily mean you need to put something into them.





The words, "I can make it fit" has never lead to an enjoyable outcome.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 11:03 AM

"Don't try this at home" doesn't mean "So go over to the neighbor's instead".

The Secret Ingredient Is Zolton 88,200 34
08/25/2006 11:03 AM

Just because someone else has holes in their body doesn't necessarily mean you need to put something into them.





The words, "Is it in yet?" has never lead to an enjoyable outcome.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 11:04 AM

"I would only Frost you if you were the last man on Earth" is not a challenge.

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/25/2006 11:05 AM

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 11:09 AM

Beware the man with 100 cats.

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/25/2006 11:11 AM

Never click a link without mouse rollover first.

The Jerk 6,311 9
08/25/2006 11:11 AM

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 11:11 AM

If at first you don't succeed, give up and pay a Mexican a $1 to do it.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 11:14 AM

Anytime a Gabber uses "Words of Wisdom" you should exercise great caution.

Fratberry 283,018 53
08/25/2006 11:19 AM

Just because you can't doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 11:19 AM

Just because you have holes in your body does n't necessarily mean you need to put something into them.

Bankey 70,843 10
08/25/2006 11:21 AM

Seriously dude, no one's reading your Frost-ing blog.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
08/25/2006 11:24 AM

Dear Blog,



That Bankey, what a bitch!

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/25/2006 11:31 AM

Men have nipples and girl-on-girl fantasies because they were women once....If only for a moment.

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/25/2006 11:47 AM

Also, knives are not toys unless they come in a set complete with gloves, disinfectant, and absolute rage...and vodka.

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/25/2006 11:50 AM

If you drink, don't drive.

If you drink and drive, don't tell the cop who pulls you over "What the Frost do YOU want pencil dick?"

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/25/2006 11:51 AM

If you drink, drive and are Mel Gibson, avoid the following:

"Sugar Tits"

"I OWN Malibu"

"It's all the Jews fault"



nothing good can come of it.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/25/2006 12:47 PM

Al's wisdome du jour:



Be. Excellent. To Al.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
08/25/2006 12:51 PM

Where's Ted, Bill?

Phuc 237,919 21
08/25/2006 01:06 PM

Pretty much nowhere.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/25/2006 01:19 PM

There are none so blind as those you have stabbed in the eyes because they would not give you a dollar.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 01:20 PM

Shut up you dirty Mexican.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/25/2006 01:22 PM

Shut up you dirty Mexican.



Woo hoo! I'm moving up on the scale!

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 01:24 PM

It's more of a sliding scale. You just move over, not up.

Shades of Sage (say THAT ten times fast!) 36,465 8
08/25/2006 01:26 PM

DON'T DRINK PEPSI! IT IS THE DRINK OF THE ANTI-CHRIST!

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 01:29 PM

And sodimites.



</the more you know>

showmaster 4,754 0
08/25/2006 01:29 PM

No matter how sick of a mind you may have, even when at times you think you are too far gone to sit with society, you can always go to gab and see just how many people there are many, many times more sick then you and as far as I know, they don't let you use the internet in asylums and prisons.

Shades of Sage (say THAT ten times fast!) 36,465 8
08/25/2006 01:29 PM

Okay, I take that back.



No, wait. Here's more advice.



"You never regret the things you do, just the things you don't do."



GABbers, I regret Millie. And Trae. And Savvy. And SCB. And a few others.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/25/2006 01:39 PM

There's only one thing that I know how to do well,

And I've often been told that you only can do

What you know how to do well

And that's be you.

Be what you're like.

Be like yourself.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
08/25/2006 01:44 PM

Now it's over, I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want. Or I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
08/25/2006 01:50 PM

I love you, Monkey boy.

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/25/2006 01:54 PM

Make it your goal in life to make someone rue. RUE, I say!

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/25/2006 02:05 PM

Wikipedia is not an infallible source.

showmaster 4,754 0
08/25/2006 02:28 PM

Make it your goal in life to make someone rue. RUE, I say!



That's easy. All you have to do is take a piss in their oven. Next time they use it, a chemical-type gas will fill the entire house with a vomit enducing stench that makes epicac seem like chocolate pudding. Not only that, but the food is ruined, and the smell will last throught any attempt at ventilation, I don't care how many fans you have. Rue the day they met you? Mission accomplished.

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/25/2006 02:29 PM

I was thinking "rue the day they never slept with me," but I'm partial to revenge dishes, too.

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/25/2006 02:30 PM

Oh, and I've discovered that "away messages" are addictive, deceitful things.

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/25/2006 02:31 PM

Why do I have a feeling that's The Voice of Experience there?

Declan McManus as Yaskov 131,887 36
08/25/2006 02:34 PM

"Wisdome" is like wisdom, but lives in a much cooler Buckminster Fuller type house.

showmaster 4,754 0
08/25/2006 02:35 PM

I was thinking "rue the day they never slept with me," but I'm partial to revenge dishes, too.



Revenge? Oh, no dear. This is what happens when a 2 year old discovers the fact that oven doors open. But it works well for revenge also. Who says your kids don't teach you anything.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/25/2006 02:35 PM

If you're going to whack off, use a water-based glue.

SAVIORA, XY 4,599 8
08/25/2006 02:37 PM

Why do I have a feeling that's The Voice of Experience there?



Um, because..........Frost.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/25/2006 02:37 PM

If you're going to whack off, don't use a water-based glue.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/25/2006 02:40 PM

<action>'s hand is stuck to his dick</action>



If you're going to whack off, don't use a water-based glue.



Thanks a lot, Emerson! You're a day late, and a dollar short.

Sarah, plain and not so tall. 30,601 8
08/25/2006 02:43 PM

that makes epicac seem like chocolate pudding.



Ipecac.

Ipecac.

Ipecac.

Puke.



Hey, pudding!

Phuc 237,919 21
08/25/2006 02:44 PM

Have a good time. All the time.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/25/2006 02:45 PM

That's what I was trying, Phuc, and now look at me.

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/25/2006 02:50 PM

GABbers never lie. They do, however LAY everything that moves.

Shades of Sage (say THAT ten times fast!) 36,465 8
08/25/2006 02:57 PM

"If all you have is a hammer penis, all you see is nails Poe."

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 03:06 PM

If a warning label specifically says "Do not put your penis in this product" you may want to heed the advice.

Bankey 70,843 10
08/25/2006 03:08 PM

If you're going to have a relationship with someone you met on an internet website, it's best to make sure the break up is very public and covered in detail on that same site in the weeks that follow.

Chances in charge. 171,275 14
08/25/2006 03:09 PM

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING BANKEY!!!? It's not over until I say its over.

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 03:10 PM

GABbers never lie. They do, however LAY everything that moves



Who said anything about it having to move?

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
08/25/2006 03:11 PM

Chance, he was talking about Frat.

Bankey 70,843 10
08/25/2006 03:11 PM

I'M SAYING YOU FrostED THE Frost-ing MILKMAN! YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT??!!!

BennyHey 91 7
08/25/2006 03:11 PM

"If it feels like more then two fingers, it's probably a Coleridge"

-Dave Attel

Aimless 54,807 10
08/25/2006 03:11 PM

If it had to move Chance would never get laid.

Midgets 96,092 48
08/25/2006 03:13 PM

<action>puts "three fingers" on the back of everybody neck</action>

showmaster 4,754 0
08/25/2006 03:18 PM

If at first you don't succeed, kill everything in your path.

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/25/2006 03:22 PM

It takes 41 muscles to frown but only 4 to reach out and bitch-slap that mother-Froster

Brewmaster 596 7
08/25/2006 03:22 PM

Nothing exceeds like excess.

Phuc 237,919 21
08/25/2006 03:31 PM

Touch my chilled baboon brains and I'll rip off your tits.

showmaster 4,754 0
08/25/2006 03:47 PM

Are you hitting on me, Phuc?

Chit 178,781 15
08/25/2006 03:57 PM

Saying 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying 'I apologize.' Except at a funeral.



--Demetri Martin

Shades of Sage (say THAT ten times fast!) 36,465 8
08/25/2006 03:59 PM

"If ignorance isn't bliss, I sure don't know what is!"







But here's proof that ignorance is truly Bliss.

Pram Apple Splatters 80,728 42
08/25/2006 05:21 PM

Bliss sure does cost a lot to live in.

Cantremember 658 7
08/25/2006 06:45 PM

Good taste and humour...are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.

Mrs. Chance Bojangles 171,275 14
08/25/2006 07:20 PM

I'M SAYING YOU FrostED THE Frost-ing MILKMAN! YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT??!!!



You didnt have a problem with the years supply of free milk, now didja? Men! Pffft!

Mel Gibson hates me 15,189 12
08/25/2006 07:35 PM

Just because you can't doesn't mean you shouldn't.



A baggie can NOT be used as a condom.







Right, Fratberry?

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
08/25/2006 07:41 PM

You didnt have a problem with the years supply of free milk, now didja? Men! Pffft!



Would you be interested in a free, endless supply of junk mail and catalogs?

Robin® 14,626 10
08/26/2006 01:22 AM

Don't post drunk.



If you choose to post drunk, understand that you can and will be held accountable for the bad grammar, bad spelling and awful topics you come up with.



Instead post compromising pictures of yourself.

Millie 116,988 28
08/26/2006 01:29 AM

Aww, what a cute little girAAACK!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
08/26/2006 01:35 AM

Tip your bartender and don't throw your trash into the street.

The Jerk 6,311 9
08/29/2006 02:02 PM

Robin, this is in reference to the second picture you posted:



THE MILK'S GONE BAD!!



Thank you.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
08/29/2006 05:58 PM

When ever you want to aregue that you are right and know what you are doing regardless, chances are your probibly wrong.





Somebody's pain is also our comedy gold.

Chi Chi Felipe- not KChiki 161,353 14
08/29/2006 06:02 PM

Kids scream a lot less if you rape them after you've killed them.

Chi Chi Felipe- not KChiki 161,353 14
08/29/2006 06:02 PM

What the Frost is wrong with me?

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
08/29/2006 07:44 PM

If a GABber feeds you something that smells heavily of almonds, it's either laced with heavy amounts of Ipecac or Cyanide. Either way we will all be laughing at your expense.

Max Powers 68,758 11
08/29/2006 08:00 PM

I thought almonds was arsnic?

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
08/29/2006 08:15 PM

What the Frost is wrong with me?



A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts? I dunno, it's a stab in the dark.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/29/2006 08:39 PM

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.



If you have to ask; "Was it good for you?", it wasn't.



Live every day like it was your last and you will end up broke, divorced, and in jail by nightfall.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
08/29/2006 08:58 PM

<action>chuckles at Matt, then wonders if he's named each of the cherubs in his precious collection.</action>Named must your fear be before baniShakespeare you can.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
08/30/2006 05:21 PM

chuckles at Matt, then wonders if he's named each of the cherubs in his precious collection.



Since they are the SO's, I have named them all; "Dust Collectors".



As for my precious dragons, they are all named Bob.

Pumpkin Seeds-roasted on an open fire 56,642 8
08/31/2006 01:40 PM

If at first you don't succeed...you should probablly stop and NEVER.DO.IT. AGAIN!

Enohead 324 7
08/31/2006 02:55 PM

No matter what the police officer tells you, real breathalyzers don't have hair at the base.