jeeni, a n00b & married to Wiloughbie. Haze away. 47,787 51
09/07/2006 07:54 PM

Are we talking uptown or downtown?

Jaggy 11,895 13
09/07/2006 07:54 PM

Let me jizz in it!



There, now I've said that, nobody else can.

Jaggy 11,895 13
09/07/2006 07:54 PM

...Uptown.



Ew.

jeeni, a n00b & married to Wiloughbie. Haze away. 47,787 51
09/07/2006 07:56 PM

Phew. Um, well my sis uses shea butter to do that, but I wasn't blessed with curly hair, so I don't really know how it works. I mean, her hair looks good though.



Good luck!

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
09/07/2006 08:03 PM

Let me jizz in it!



(Sorry, I just wanted to check if I really couldn't say it)

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/07/2006 08:11 PM

Buy a wig.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/07/2006 08:11 PM

Jaggy, use something like "Redken Fresh Curls Spin Control" (it's not a greasy product) then let your hair air dry or use a dryer with a giant diffuser. Do NOT touch your hair with your fingers once dry as you will seperate all your hair strands.



Then your curls will be like mine are in the picture of me with your present. >O<

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
09/07/2006 08:14 PM

Then your curls will be like mine are in the picture of me with your present.



And the award for most subtle request to Jaggy to show us her tits goes to... Roofie!

Midgets 96,092 48
09/07/2006 08:21 PM

I just jizzed on it.

Jakeypants 13,437 11
09/07/2006 08:21 PM

I use moose when my hair's wet then I let it dry with the windows down in my car, it's pretty when it's done. I swear.

jeeni, a n00b & married to Wiloughbie. Haze away. 47,787 51
09/07/2006 08:25 PM

Does it look like this?

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/07/2006 08:27 PM

Hi JP! Did you really put a moose in your hair or maybe MOUSSE? I hope it was a moose. That'd be wild in a car!

All the ladies love Briham and his Oozinator! 38,843 10
09/07/2006 08:31 PM

He let a moose jizz in his hair. It's great for the follicles.







That's what I hear, at least. I'd know nothing about it.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
09/07/2006 08:39 PM

Psst. JP's a girl. A cute one.

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
09/07/2006 08:42 PM

I've discovered over time that the three things that will keep my curls tame (most of the time):



1. Apply goop of some sort. 2. untangle with a hair pick, the wider the teeth the better.

3. Air dry





If there's a lot of humidity and/or it's rainy, all bets are off. The fro is out of control.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
09/07/2006 09:04 PM

Odd. I never noticed before that Roofie had hair.

Baron Hotc0ck von Hugenstien 58,948 29
09/07/2006 09:09 PM

Your left boob is really big. I think I should suck on it. I don't know how'd that help it even out with the other, I just think I should suck on it.

Don't feed the Wocketses. 10,950 10
09/07/2006 09:09 PM

It's just an illusion. "Roofie" is just a set of knockers that is frivolously exhibited on teh interweb.

SAVIORA, Defender of Public Breastfeeding 4,599 8
09/07/2006 10:20 PM

Try John Frieda's "Frizz Ease."



Perhaps a bit expensive, but who can put a price on rare and exotic midget jizz?

SAVIORA, Defender of Public Breastfeeding 4,599 8
09/07/2006 10:22 PM

"Roofie" is just a set of knockers that is frivolously exhibited on teh interweb.





...Speaking of which, join my new Facebook group

Chit 178,781 15
09/07/2006 10:26 PM

Try John Frieda's "Frizz Ease."



Come on now, the girl is in New Zealand.



Best she can do would be Woolite, MAYBE.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/07/2006 10:28 PM

NIPPLE-ICIOUS!!

SAVIORA, Defender of Public Breastfeeding 4,599 8
09/07/2006 10:30 PM

Come on now, the girl is in New Zealand.





Oh....Well, don't you have magic kiwis, or something?

daisypie 49,378 9
09/07/2006 10:33 PM

She needs elvish magic...

All the ladies love Briham and his Oozinator! 38,843 10
09/07/2006 11:44 PM

Dude, the other day a woman breastfed her baby at the restaurant I work at while I tried to take her order. Do you know how hard it is not to stare? Frost public breastfeeding.

Captain Skippy, on the prowl 41,253 13
09/07/2006 11:48 PM

Dude, the other day a woman breastfed her baby at the restaurant I work at while I tried to take her order. Do you know how hard it is not to stare? Frost public breastfeeding.





Dude, see like after breast feeding for a while women do care who sees their titties. So stare all you want and grow the Frost up while you're at it.

All the ladies love Briham and his Oozinator! 38,843 10
09/07/2006 11:55 PM

Sorry, I didn't realize manners were only for kids. I suppose I'll start my maturation by inviting myself over to your house, crashing on your couch, and watching your wife in the shower the next morning.

Captain Skippy, on the prowl 41,253 13
09/07/2006 11:59 PM

Sorry, I didn't realize manners were only for kids. I suppose I'll start my maturation by inviting myself over to your house, crashing on your couch, and watching your wife in the shower the next morning.





Dude you're disgusting, that's my mom.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/08/2006 12:00 AM

...and watching your wife in the shower...





Umm, I don't think his wife is home. You might catch a good show over at her girlfriends, though.

Who Killed Yorkie Thompson? 60,724 12
09/08/2006 12:00 AM

Dude, see like after breast feeding for a while women do care who sees their titties. So stare all you want and grow the Frost up while you're at it.





Oh, it's just Skippy. I thought I'd forgotten how to read for a minute.

Jaggy 11,895 13
09/08/2006 12:42 AM

JP! I haven't seen you in ages!



I'll try the moose. They're cute.

Chit 178,781 15
09/08/2006 01:19 AM

I'll try the moose. They're cute.





Just make sure you don't accidentally get the Berkowitzes.





Bad Woody Allen Reference

(audio file)

Nachos 57,521 23
09/08/2006 06:39 AM

jeeni, a n00b & married to Wiloughbie. Haze away.



Husband and wife posters are ruining gab.

SAVIORA, Defender of Public Breastfeeding 4,599 8
09/08/2006 09:57 AM

<action>retrieves her shirt</action>

cuddle public breastfeeding.



I guess no one wants breakfast then.....

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 10:27 AM

I agree with you Nachos, 100%.



Coincidentally Nachos have clogged my arteries about 92%.

Nachos 57,521 23
09/08/2006 10:34 AM

<action>watches the joke soar overhead at supersonic speeds, trailing vapour as it makes a steady beeline for the horizon and parts unknown.</action>

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 10:37 AM

That's great, I'm about to have a heart attack, because of you and you're making jokes... What a crazy world we live in...

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
09/08/2006 10:41 AM

You haven't seen the best of it yet. Just wait for the jokes we'll make after you die...

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 10:44 AM

Death is always funny...

Like the recent unpleasantness, Steve Irwin.

Jeeni will let you know... It shouildn't be too far off if I keep eating those Frostin nachos.

Pumpkin-sowing the seeds of Snurgle for all 56,642 8
09/08/2006 11:15 AM

Your eating Nachos?



























Fag

Pumpkin-sowing the seeds of Snurgle for all 56,642 8
09/08/2006 11:17 AM

Jaggy....Aussie Scrunch spray is what my daughter and Sis both use to keep the curls.

(Well, it's what my wifey puts in my daughters hair, as she's only 3).



Works well on my Sis, even in humid weather (well, as humid as it can get in West Oz).

Bieze 1,382 7
09/08/2006 11:18 AM

Sleekness you desire? You use fecal matter. You'll see.

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 11:18 AM

Here we go again....

You guys just love talking about homosexuals.

They should change this to "GAB, Homosexual Conversations"

Jolson 16,163 11
09/08/2006 11:31 AM

<action>straps the ballgag to Wil's mouth and dons his barker hat.</action>



Step right up, only $.10 to Frost the nOOb.

Pumpkin-sowing the seeds of Snurgle for all 56,642 8
09/08/2006 11:37 AM

<action> hides sharp stone, fake beard and packet of gravel behind back</action>

How much just to throw Shakespeare at him?

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 11:39 AM

Pumpkin you've been doing that since I got here....

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/08/2006 11:55 AM

Will, how long have you been here? I'm only asking because I only registered a few days ago and so far I've very little lame ass new guy abuse, and I was wondering it's because they haven't gotten around to me, or if its really just you.



Here, a special orb from me to you.

Pumpkin-sowing the seeds of Snurgle for all 56,642 8
09/08/2006 11:58 AM

<action> shoves Wil up Dave's hairy ass</action>



STFU, I wasn't talking to you.

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 12:00 PM

Dave, it's definitely me.

You're just not trying hard enough.

It's not as easy as you think.

Thanks for the photo, you'll fit in just fine with these comic geniuses.

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/08/2006 12:05 PM

Your welcome will, and Pumpkin et. all, in keeping with this thread I'd like to point out that I use pert plus on my hairy ass, cuz I'm to lazy to condition separately, and then I use a little tigue bedhead to keep it controled and manageable all day.



-and the curls are natural.

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 12:08 PM

Dave, I forgot to mention if you're homosexual that's a plus, they just love homosexuals.



Especially Pumpkin, I think he's sweet on me.

Sorry Pumpkin, your gunna have to sew your seeds elsewhere, I'm just not that way... But thanks for the special invitation.

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/08/2006 12:09 PM

No, I'm not gay, but I am willing to learn...

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 12:11 PM

Dave was that Pert plus medium or light, it looked like medium... I use the light myself.

Just curious.

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 12:12 PM

Stripes!

The best line from the movie.

Midgets 96,092 48
09/08/2006 12:13 PM

Wil,



I'm going to go out on a limb and help a fellow noob.

The reason you're not fitting in well is that you haven't found your "group" yet.

Gab, like the real world, is a huge series of smaller cells that make a large group. If you just throw yourself at the whole, you will always be outcast.

I suggest easing yourself into one of these groups, I think QTA would be a good fit for you. Next time you see Declan posting ask him to give you a hand with this, I sure he'll be happy to help.



Midgets.







Oh, and Poop.

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/08/2006 12:13 PM

Actually it's Pert Plus Fresh. I like the tingle.

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 12:25 PM

Midgets, what do you mean by I'm not fitting in?

It seems like it's going ok...



Wow, you're just going along minding your own business, trying to bring a little joy and happiness into peoples lives and then out of no where somebody drops a bomb like this on you.



Does anybody else feel this way?

Pumpkin-sowing the seeds of Snurgle for all 56,642 8
09/08/2006 12:33 PM

<action> having a hard time shoving Wil up Dave's hairy ass</action>



Your right Midgets, he's NOT fitting in very well.

I can't tell if it's 'cause Dave keeps clenching or if I just didn't use enough lube on him.

Lend us a hand will ya? (or a plumbers helper)

Pumpkin-sowing the seeds of Snurgle for all 56,642 8
09/08/2006 12:37 PM

<action> goes serious for a moment</action>



Wil, helps if you are OCCASIONALLY funny. But your constant yammering about how you don't find Gab funny, or how we "all appear to be homosexuals as thats all we talk of" isn't funny.



As Phuc has said many time before, get a FUQing clue.

Baron Hotc0ck von Hugenstien 58,948 29
09/08/2006 12:38 PM

<action> grumbles about the Monkey not being here to do his offical duities </action>



Wiloughbie, as Right Hand Woman to the Awesomely funny DemoMonkey(crash 'o' cymblas) I'd like to welsome you to a free membership to the Leigon of Evil Newbs(LEN)! Here at the LEN we offer a full benifits package that inculde medical, dental, eye and ass-raping. Also, when joining the LEN we giving you full tutorials at 'How to survive on GAB' with self defence and eye bleaching kits to go along with the 30 minute video.



To start you off with this free offer: I'd like you to check out a few links!



Here is an old classic written by our fearless learder himself!

To help you learn the languge of Gab, check this one out!

Here's a great artical from anouther site!

And always re-read the FAQ's!



Have a great day!

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/08/2006 01:00 PM

See, I read the faq.



3) Do not be offended when the elders of the board ignore your comments and refuse to direct remarks to you; they are old and set in their ways. They need a chance to catch your scent before they can accept you. Try presenting your hindquarters.



Did that.



Funny story for the geeks here, to me anyway. I had the ass picture because I built a PC for my little brother a few years ago and the board I used allowed you to flash in a bios logo, which for the non-nerds is the splash screen that comes up when some computers boot with the Dell or IBM type logo filling the screen.



In short, every time he boots up, my ass sits in his face for 15 seconds or so, and he has no idea how to remove.

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 01:01 PM

I never called anyone a homosexual, that's what you guys do. I'm sensing a Freudian slip from you Pumpkin...

I just said you like talking about that sorta stuff, you're not denying that are you?

Midgets 96,092 48
09/08/2006 01:06 PM

Now see Dave, that wasn't so hard. That was actually pretty amusing. Oh, there is no need to eplain why you would have a pic of your own ass, that's pretty much the norm here.



Wil, Dave is now your mentor. Untill he Okays it you will not be acnoledged.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
09/08/2006 01:13 PM

dreads.



chicks with dreads are hot!

wiloughbie, somebody please kill me... 498 7
09/08/2006 01:13 PM

Technically now that I look back... I did kind of insinuate that Pumpkin may infact be gay... But come on, he was asking for it.

jeeni, a n00b & married to Wiloughbie. Haze away. 47,787 51
09/08/2006 04:11 PM

Baron,



Thanks for all the helpful links. (Serious... really good stuff!) May I also join LEN?



Jeeni















Poop.

jeeni, a n00b & married to Wiloughbie. Haze away. 47,787 51
09/08/2006 04:19 PM

P.S. Don't blame Will for his delayed response just above. He has a really old modem - (like, 2 mbps) we're working on fixing that...