Phuc 237,919 21
09/14/2006 02:42 PM

He's 3.

Showmaster's badass revenge 4,754 0
09/14/2006 02:43 PM

Since when is beating the Shakespeare out of your kid and putting the fear of God in them ineffective?

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/14/2006 02:44 PM

Make sure he does lots of drugs to encourage schizophrenia. Then he'll have lots more playmates.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/14/2006 02:47 PM

Well, he's three. How bout being a better parent and taking him out of daycare and keeping him home with his family?

Phuc 237,919 21
09/14/2006 02:47 PM

Since when is beating the Shakespeare out of your kid and putting the fear of God in them ineffective?



Since you came on the board and we realized how stupid it makes them.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting a slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/14/2006 02:47 PM

Phuc-yes, we considered this, but apparently the preschool doesn't, the seem to be "concerned" (perhaps we need a new preschool)





Showmaster-Would be possible were his Mum not a Baptist/Catholic and I a (reformed) Lutheran now Druidic Taoist. To hard to decied WHICH God(s) he should fear most.



HC- That may be a thought, though perhaps I should wait until we move back yout East? I'd hate for poor "Farm Girl" to have another run in when she's become "Farm Lady"

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/14/2006 02:48 PM

I would say sorry, and throw in lots of "Granted, some people just HAVE to send their kids away right from the cradle", but that would all be bullShakespeare.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/14/2006 02:48 PM

How bout being a better parent and taking him out of daycare and keeping him home with his family?



Where you can teach him that the earth is 6,000 years old and that God is a lot like Eric Robert Rudolph except with a longer beard.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/14/2006 02:49 PM

Hey Pumpkin, are you sure you want to mention this in public? I mean, do I have to go get the "where did daddy touch you" doll?



We all know that Ollie posts on GAB along with you and then there's that whole "six degrees of perversion" thing going on....

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/14/2006 02:49 PM

Phuc gets it.

JDurSpankenZ 358 6
09/14/2006 02:49 PM

Yep, I feel for ya. 2 and 1/2 year old daughter does the same thing.



I'm just waiting till the day she smacks another kid up, and that kid hauls off and whollups her one. At that point she might get the idea.



Seriously though, if he's 3, consider karate in the next few years. Gives them focus and a decent outlet, tiny grasshopper.

Pram Orgasm 80,728 42
09/14/2006 02:50 PM

Since when is beating the Shakespeare out of your kid and putting the fear of God in them ineffective?



You're making me really wish I had one right now.

sharri 14,124 11
09/14/2006 02:52 PM

Since when is beating the Shakespeare out of your kid and putting the fear of God in them ineffective?



Worst euphamism for male genital evar.

Showmaster's badass revenge 4,754 0
09/14/2006 02:56 PM

In all honesty, I have seen a 3 year old who has peed in a stove then turned it on, Broken a ceiling fan without a ladder, pryed open a deadbolt, broken an indestructable pan by beating it against an indestructable mantle, and regularly kicks his 5 year old brothers ass. I can continue ad infinitum. I feel your pain and I ran out of ideas months ago. I'm sorry.

Showmaster's badass revenge 4,754 0
09/14/2006 02:56 PM

Oh, did I mention the brown 'finger paint'

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/14/2006 03:02 PM

Karate worked well for my kid. He had the opposite problem, too nice and used to get picked on. I know it's the reverse situation but I've talked to a lot of parents about it and it seems to work both ways.



I've tried to instill 2 simple rules about fighting in him.



1. Never fight unless you have absolutely no other option.



2. If you have to fight, win.



So far this year he's straight A's and 2 for 2 on the playground.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/14/2006 03:02 PM

Painting the walls with Shakespeare is a sign of something wrong, like schizophrenia or assburger's.



Get that kid to a shrink. Or if you're a Christian scientist, send me $5,000 and I'll pray for him.

mrlukeplease 60 7
09/14/2006 03:03 PM

My 4-year-old daughter was booted out of daycare for whupping up on the white children. The only place left in town was a "Christian-based" facility that regularly send her home with "Jesus-and-Me" coloring books.



That scared her into submission!

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/14/2006 03:04 PM

My 4-year-old daughter was booted out of daycare for whupping up on the white children.



$10 says the little bastards had it coming for something.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting a slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/14/2006 03:04 PM

Chix- Yes. And he's only in 2hrs twice a week (with his sis)...AND...because of something called "No Child Left Behind" the ruleing *cough cough red state cough* party in my state requires they have MINIMUM 2 years of preschool before school. (My town's Kindergarden not only is all day, but teaches foreign language skills).



Not all of us can homeschool.





(especially those of us who can't spell)

mrlukeplease 60 7
09/14/2006 03:05 PM

$10 says the little bastards had it coming for something.



Nah, she's just got a mean streak.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/14/2006 03:09 PM

Not all of us can homeschool.



Cue self-righteous rant in 5... 4... 3...

Showmaster's badass revenge 4,754 0
09/14/2006 03:10 PM

Painting the walls with Shakespeare is a sign of something wrong, like schizophrenia or assburger's.



That's not funny, Phuc. And besides we've seen doctors and stuff, it's just very very high intelligence and destructiveness all in one.



Wait, was the unibomber a schitzo?

Pumpkin Noggin-getting a slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/14/2006 03:16 PM

To those of you who have emailed me suggestions, I wanted to publicly thank you..



And to those of you posting here some good ideas, and FUNNY stories of similar happenings, thank you as well.



I've shown some of these to the wifey, and it's cheering her up greatly (even as she's currently boarding up the house in fear of an Ollie appearance)

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
09/14/2006 03:17 PM

My other personality is a schitzo.

Declan McManus, as Yaskov 131,887 36
09/14/2006 03:17 PM

Two words: John Rosemond.

JDurSpankenZ 358 6
09/14/2006 03:18 PM

One other quick thing... Check out a show on ABC called SuperNanny. My wife and I saw that show and gleaned as much as we could out of it.



ALL of it worked.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/14/2006 03:20 PM

it's just very very high intelligence and destructiveness all in one.



If I go to Dr. Nick and slip him a few Gs, he'll tell me my kid is the next Einstein because she's eating light bulbs (shut up, timmy). Don't make her an astrophysicist.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
09/14/2006 03:20 PM

I watched this movie called "Super Fanny". Sadly, there were no kids involved.

JDurSpankenZ 358 6
09/14/2006 03:24 PM

Beater, this has NOTHING to do with being Catholic.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/14/2006 03:25 PM

Painting the walls with Shakespeare is a sign of something wrong, like schizophrenia or assburger's.



As someone who has had over 300 problem children through his house, we have yet to have one that played with fecal matter that was not in some serious pain. Usually child abuse. Look around you. Be very aware. Phuc is right. See a doctor.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting a slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/14/2006 03:28 PM

Supper Nanny more like.....



I've met AuPairs, and trust, NONE were as big as that woman.





Besides, that show always seems to show these UperMiddle Class White trash types with WAY to many kids and NO love.

The Da's ALWAYS an asshat who's to busy for his family (I may be the occasional ass, but I ALWAYS make time for my family) and the mother is an easily overwhelmed Poe whimp with low self esteme issues. (NOT my wife in the LEAST).



In short....Super Nanny ain't my way to raise a kid.

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
09/14/2006 03:32 PM

I support beating the fear of god into your children, and I'm an athiest.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting a slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/14/2006 03:36 PM

You ARE God, Taco

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/14/2006 03:36 PM

AND...because of something called "No Child Left Behind" the ruleing *cough cough red state cough* party in my state requires they have MINIMUM 2 years of preschool before school.



fat daughter. If that's true, there has to be 100 ways around it.



FYI, you don't have to homeschool for 12 years. If they pass stupid laws requireing preschool as opposed to being required to offer state sponsored preschool, then form your homeschool and close it when the kid starts first grade.

JDurSpankenZ 358 6
09/14/2006 03:38 PM

Besides, that show always seems to show these UperMiddle Class White trash types with WAY to many kids and NO love.



Granted, but the techniques work really well. I'm in no way close to UM class income, and I'm home every night doing the same amount of work with my wife (who has 0 self-esteem problems). I can't argue the success we've had, regardless of the trash that's seen on the show.

Showmaster's badass revenge 4,754 0
09/14/2006 03:42 PM

1800-259-2840 for help.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting a slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/14/2006 03:42 PM

I'm sure there are ways around it...

And to be honest, the one we picked (of the 6 we looked at) is more of an "Organized Play Group" session. Figured at this age, since they've only ever known each other, it was best that they get the chance to interact with other kids their age before moving into the more structured school settings of others.



This is YMCA sponsered school, as well, so it was a bit shocking to get the call. It's one thing to REPORT the kids been bad today, and leave it as "This is what happened today" type of thing, but to specifically CALL the parent to say the kid has been bad?



Now that I've actually talked to the "teacher" (a grad school student) it seems that there may have been a bit of a dispute between him and another little boy over a toy.



Now I'm thinking Phuc has said it best...He's Frost-ing THREE, and "Miss Kathy's" just got some serious PMS issues to deal with.

Pubah, Just Glad 56,805 18
09/14/2006 03:45 PM

a. Find out why he's so angry.



b. Talk to him, get in touch with his feelings.



3. Beat his ass. Let him know how much hitting hurts people.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
09/14/2006 03:48 PM

They make chewable fruit Lorazepam.



I'm just sayin'.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/14/2006 03:52 PM

Just give him a beer.

Daves not here 52,827 16
09/14/2006 03:53 PM

I've very rarely spanked my kid and he's not been a behavior problem. Unfortunately too many people who don't believe in spanking don't understand that you have to substitute it with something. A kid as young as yours, I'd think that kind of solution would be counter productive.



The only time I've gone that route in many years was last year when he hit my ex-wife.



I stopped by on my way home from work, took him out in the back yard and told him to put his hands up, then while he stood there looking defiant I popped him a light open handed one in the stomach, just hard enough to take the wind out of him and scare the hell out of him. When he started crying for his mother I reminded him why this was happening.



3 important points were established.



1. If he ever thinks he's big enough to hit either of us, he'd better be big enough to hit me, not his mother.



2. If you turn on your family then you have no one to help you when you when your in the Shakespeare.



3. If I never hit that bitch he sure as hell isn't going to.



Of course mine is 9, not 3

Lupience- Sarcastically Sensuous 26,981 11
09/14/2006 03:59 PM

Don't look to the schools to raise your child. Yes, he can go to preschool- but YOU'RE the ones who have to instill the values. Switching schools will only reinforce his bad behavior. He may be only 3, but that's plenty old enough to know how to manipulate.Look into the possibility that something at home is causing his agression at school. Is he getting enough sleep? Is your routine rushed and hectic? They seem like simple things, but can manifest into "evil child syndrome".

Pubah, Just Glad 56,805 18
09/14/2006 04:00 PM

Amen Lupi...

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
09/14/2006 04:03 PM

beat that kid's ass.

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
09/14/2006 04:06 PM

Have you tried letting him watch more TV?



I think most therapists recommend 1 hour per day for every year of age up to 16.

the Baron 612 7
09/14/2006 04:07 PM

Duck tape the kid to the ceiling for a few hours.



It probably won't help, but it will be as funny as Hell.

Sarah (Dergle Snergling No Mo') 30,601 8
09/14/2006 04:35 PM

Get that kid to a shrink. Or if you're a Christian scientist, send me $5,000 and I'll pray for him.



Or, just ship him off to me. I'll take him to my church. I just so happen to be Christian Scientist.



Really, were not crazy.















I'll do it for $2500.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
09/14/2006 04:54 PM

Well, he's three. How bout being a better parent and taking him out of daycare and keeping him home with his family?



Keep a kid isolated from other kids and he'll never learn to share, get along with others, compromise or fight (when necessary).



The only people who home school are control freaks. Usually home schoolers are either dirty hippies or Jesus screamers, but above either of those, they're control freaks.



We have a handful of homeschooled kids (both species) in the Boy Scout troop I'm on the board of. To the last child, they're such misfits that they can't even relate to each other.



My advice is to crack down on the fighting at home. A three year old ought to still be looking to please Mommy and Daddy. Let him know that Mommy and Daddy aren't pleased by the fighting at home. Stop it when it starts, dole out some consequences and stick with the program.



Then tell the school that you're working on it at home and you'd like their advice and assistance. I don't know where you live, but in my state, teachers are required to be trained professionals, and to have a master's degree. They know something about teaching and can probably help teach the kid that it's not appropriate to gouge other kids' eyes out.



Which brings me back to the homeschooling thing. As I told one dirty hippy homeschooling friend of mine, "If your kid had tonsilitis, would you take him to the doctor or try to pull them out yourself?"

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/14/2006 07:10 PM

. . .I was homeschooled Whistler, and I'm not any of those hurtful things you said.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
09/14/2006 07:39 PM

But your parents were dirty hippies, right?

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/14/2006 07:49 PM

Actually, no. My mother, who homeschooled me, hates hippies.



See? That's why stereotyping is bad.



But then you make a funny joke about it and it's so good again.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
09/14/2006 07:50 PM

Okay, come on over here. I'll suck your mutant toes and make it all better.









Really.













Please?

Millie 116,988 28
09/14/2006 11:06 PM

...he has a twin sister and a baby sister a home who might actually miss him if we sent him away to work in some shoe factory over seas.



Please. I would not have missed my twin brother one bit if my parents had shipped him off somewhere.



Super Nanny is an awesome show. I don't know if her methods work or not, I just like watching Frosted up families.



Seriously, though, the one good point she stresses is consistency in dealing with the children's behavior problems. Also, I notice a lot of parents on her show are Frost-ing wimps when it comes to discipline. I'm not talking about punishment, either. My father was a big proponent of beating and other punishment, and it never made me want to act better. It just made me resent him.



I agree with those who say that the problems at home need to be dealt with before the ones at school can be be solved. Stop letting him be such a little Shakespearehead.



The "naughty chair" is where he has to go!

BlueLep: The Grim Lepper 13,144 10
09/14/2006 11:07 PM

Oh God, Millie is on.

Thud 68,497 19
09/14/2006 11:13 PM

Oh God, Millie is on hot.



Fixed it.

Millie 116,988 28
09/14/2006 11:32 PM

Blue Lep, go Frost yourself.

To Be Chickens or not To Be Chickens 286,539 61
09/15/2006 06:13 AM

Why do people hit children, to teach that children hitting is wrong?





I read that on the back of a piece of Shakespeare Subaru right under the Gore/Lieberman sticker that was holding on the bumper. I think Daisypie was driving.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 10:44 AM

The "naughty chair" is where he has to go!



And that's where he's been going at school and at home.



Whistler made valid points, and points that we are in full agreeance with. That is how we are trying to raise our children (a complete opposite of how we were raised, I might add: I was the youngest of a "Neo Hippy wanna be/send you to your room to think about what you've done, but never explain it" and the wife was in the "Overbearing mother and possibly abusive father (she won't talk of it)")



As it turns out, after getting the teary call from the wifey that started this worry (that lead to the thread) I decided it was time for me to have a talk with the teacher and the director of this school. Seeing as I work in downtown Chicago, and we live in NW Indiana, I wasn't able to meet with them prior to the school starting.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 10:44 AM

As it turns out the situation is this:

Their teacher is a Grad Student in secondary ed., legal in our state, since this is a preschool and not a primary school. BOTH kids have had some issue (and I'm sure not only my kids). They were just a bit more concerned because my son had hit one kid with a broom handle (not aggressively, it turns out, but by accident-strike 1 against the teach, he shouldn't have gotten a "time out" for that); later in the day, he had a shoving match with another kid over a toy (ok..time out time for that). Then the last was when he shoved what the teacher's new assistant said was "a little girl in class" (Turns out it was his Frost-ing sister!)



I had a long talk with him last night about it. He said he would be better, after I explained to him that it's not fun to be hurt, that he gets in trouble with us when he does something wrong at home, and they will do the same at school. The kicker (and what I think struck home with him the most) was when I told him that if this keeps up (at home and at school) he would have to miss the field trip next week with his class, and he would not be allowed to go swimming on Thursdays. That seemed to wake him up a bit.



I'm not one for spanking, but I'm also not one who will hold back if it's deserved. When he pushed his sister out of the way (and subsequently down a short flight of stairs) a week back, he had his rear lit up and was sent to his room. He's not done that since.



Thanks again for all the true advice, and the humorous advice. (The Duck tape doesn't hold well to a stucco ceiling, by the way...it DOES work on the ceiling fan, however, but he enjoyed the ride to much.)

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
09/15/2006 02:45 PM

I can be of assistance. I'll beat him like he's my own son penis.

Declan McManus, as Yaskov 131,887 36
09/15/2006 04:39 PM

it's not fun to be hurt





Really now?

Phuc 237,919 21
09/15/2006 04:42 PM

Unfortunately too many people who don't believe in spanking don't understand that you have to substitute it with something.



Yes--decent parenting.

The Secret Ingredient Is Zolton 88,200 34
09/15/2006 04:49 PM

Unfortunately too many people who don't believe in spanking don't understand that you have to substitute it with something.



Yes--decent parenting.



Or bukkake.



This is probably why they won't let me back in Chuck E. Cheese any more.

syncope 49,019 14
09/15/2006 04:50 PM

Worst. Pizza. Ever.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/15/2006 04:55 PM

<action>walks into thread, smashes Phuc's soap-box and kicks his high-horse and walks out</action>

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/15/2006 04:55 PM

Reminds me of one of the funniest things Virn ever said...



"I slipped on my own semen in the bathroom of Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't get anything but arrested."