Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 12:07 PM

<action> starts singing old tunes for unknown reasons</action>

Hey KID, where'd ja get the lid? Where'd ya get a lid like that....













That doesn't look like regular tobaccy there.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 12:08 PM

"And here we see young Chickens' publicity shot for the local SummerStock theater rendition of Tom Sawyer"

Shemp humped Curley, during his stroke 22,222 17
09/15/2006 12:09 PM

Chickens walks softly, but carries a BIG stick.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/15/2006 12:10 PM

"Johnny Potpatch tending his first crop of brown buddha."

Midgets 96,092 48
09/15/2006 12:11 PM

Chickens had an eye for the hoes at an early age.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/15/2006 12:12 PM

"Nothing spells sexy like a shirtless young boy in a crop field miles from civilization."

Chit 178,781 15
09/15/2006 12:12 PM

The day before I got my first pair of shoes.

Wocket (aka mofo) 10,950 10
09/15/2006 12:13 PM

Nice pose.





BrokebackChickens

Jolson 16,163 11
09/15/2006 12:13 PM

"The Young Adventures of Kung-Fu."

Johnny Virgil 2,359 7
09/15/2006 12:15 PM

You haven't lived until you've been dressed in matching red-white-and-blue american flag leisure suits, dragged to the Sears portrait studio in broad daylight, and forced to pose tallest to smallest, straddling some sort of draped fence rail, crotch to ass all the way down the line like some sort of twisted village people-meets-jackson-5 homo train.



My mother was insane.

Wocket (aka mofo) 10,950 10
09/15/2006 12:16 PM

Eggh, looks like a lineup of rejects for the MAD magazine dude.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/15/2006 12:16 PM

My mother was insane.



Nah, she it's just hard to turn the tv off of the Partridge Family when the milkman is banging her up the pooper.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 12:17 PM

hahahahhahahhahahahhaha





that's awesome Johnny. Which one of the Osmond brothers are you again?

BlueLep: The Grim Lepper 13,144 10
09/15/2006 12:17 PM

Him thinking: "Damn. I really coul'd go for sum' possum'!"

Johnny Virgil 2,359 7
09/15/2006 12:17 PM

Thanks Jolson. I see that Froster every day when I look in the mirror. Every day.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/15/2006 12:18 PM

What you don't see is from the waist down they're naked with their Coleridges up one another's ass.



Homo-train indeed.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/15/2006 12:20 PM

I see that Froster every day when I look in the mirror.



Is it at midnight after you've said:



Dead Milkman

Dead Milkman

Dead Milkman

Dead Milkman

Dead Milkman

Johnny Virgil 2,359 7
09/15/2006 12:20 PM

What you don't see is from the waist down they're naked with their Coleridges up one another's ass.



Right. I used to feel sorry for my youngest brother, because he had the smallest Emerson.



Had.

Jolson 16,163 11
09/15/2006 12:28 PM

Had.



So what'd you do, cut it off and use it as a toilet handle?

Johnny Virgil 2,359 7
09/15/2006 12:42 PM

I don't know what that means.

Shemp humped Curley, during his stroke 22,222 17
09/15/2006 12:48 PM

Here we see Chickens trying out for a role in the off Broadway, homo-erotic hit " Chickens on a hot-tin roof."

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 01:00 PM

I just got back from lunch to find my screen saver stuck on this picture of my two oldest. Guess I shouldn't be surprised they're getting in trouble at school for hitting...old habits die hard.

Midgets 96,092 48
09/15/2006 01:03 PM

Pumpkin, is that a pastel penis next to them?

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 03:09 PM

No, I think it's a used sock...Ollie was over for dinner when this was taken.

Bankey 70,843 10
09/15/2006 03:12 PM

I'm sure I've posted this before, but for the sake of completeness, I'm the one who's mother neglected to dress him that morning.

Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
09/15/2006 03:12 PM

"Nothing spells sexy like a shirtless young boy in a crop field miles from civilization."



Is it just me, or can anyone else hear the banjos start when they look at that picture?

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 03:14 PM

Look on the bright side Banky, at least your socks matched.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 03:19 PM

Bankey- you're the black kid in the back row, right?

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 03:20 PM

Seriously, were those your sister's shorts?

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
09/15/2006 03:20 PM

"Deep in the bowels of hell, Zombie Truman Capote quietly plots his revenge."

Bankey 70,843 10
09/15/2006 03:23 PM

Seriously, were those your sister's shorts?



Shockingly no. More shocking, that's not even her camel toe.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/15/2006 03:34 PM

"Young Chickens listens intently as his father

waxes notalgic for 'the good 'ole days' of slavery..."

syncope 49,019 14
09/15/2006 03:35 PM

That's the sassiest bean farmer this side of Huckesaw County.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/15/2006 03:36 PM

Holy Shakespeare, Bankey, I almost got a hernia laughing so hard. Five for you! Now go out and get yourself a new wardrobe!

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 03:37 PM

All my pics of me as a youngster were destroyed....













by court order.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/15/2006 03:37 PM

<action>on Johnny Virgil's pic...</action>"Decades ahead of their time, the Johnny Virgil trio nonetheless

laid the groundwork for all boy-bands to come"

daisypie 49,378 9
09/15/2006 03:40 PM

<action>cue's up ZZ Top for Bankey's pic...</action>"He got legs"

Bankey 70,843 10
09/15/2006 03:42 PM

I just want everyone to know I was really young and I needed the money.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/15/2006 03:46 PM

Little black girl in blue dress in Bankey's photo:



"Eww, why I gotta stand next to the crazy white boy?"

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 03:47 PM

That and one of Banky's teachers (far left) was Carol Brady.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 03:49 PM

You can just see that madatory bussing was working hard core.

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/15/2006 03:50 PM

Isn't that Buckwheat holing up the sign?

Bankey 70,843 10
09/15/2006 03:52 PM

Wow I never paid that much attention before, but now that you mention it, I count 11 honkies, 11 brownies, and 1 that could go either way (and did on more than one occasion if school yard rumors are to be believed).

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 04:19 PM

Banks, that is the most degrading and self deprocating thing ever posted on gab, including Trixxie's doorknob story.





Well done sir. Again, I say, well done.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 04:26 PM

Well, wadda ya know.

Midgets 96,092 48
09/15/2006 04:27 PM

Make-The-Teachers-Run Campaign.



Isn't that done with handguns these days?

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/15/2006 04:28 PM

I don't think there are that many black people in Canada NOW.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/15/2006 04:28 PM

Well, willingly.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 04:34 PM

Say, Jeff, can I trade in my icon?

Bankey 70,843 10
09/15/2006 04:39 PM

I don't know if you're man enough to sport an icon with that much creamy white thigh and flimsy cotton shorts.

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 04:41 PM

Is that a school shirt, or were you the poster boy for a new line of trojans?



"Wear our jimmy hat, or you get this."

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/15/2006 04:46 PM

Nobody in this town would have paid attention to that anyway.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/15/2006 04:50 PM

Seriously, Bankey, did you wear those shorts that high on purpose, or did the chick behind you yank 'em up right before the photo was taken?

Chickens Floating Belly Up 286,539 61
09/15/2006 04:53 PM

She does kinda look like the mean athletic chick from chicken little.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/15/2006 04:57 PM

"Bankey also sang soprano in the grade 3 choir"

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/15/2006 04:58 PM

Still does.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/15/2006 04:58 PM

Its pretty awkward.

Chit 178,781 15
09/15/2006 05:01 PM

I was going to say, the shorts might not have been so bad...





If you had longer suspenders under your shirt maybe.





Shame on the photographer, for not saying anything though.

Chit 178,781 15
09/15/2006 05:02 PM

It must have been Lupience I bet.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/15/2006 05:02 PM

Where's Lupie when you need her? If it were me that had taken that picture, I definitely wouldn't have said anything.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/15/2006 05:03 PM

DAMN YOU CHIT! You Californians all think you're better'n the rest of us.... always shoving in line!

Bankey 70,843 10
09/16/2006 09:47 AM

You know, I don't mean to shamelessly bump a thread here, but I always think the same thing when I see that pic. There are at least 3 adults in that setting, the teacher, the teacher's aid, and the photographer. Every other kid in that picture is dressed reasonably well and there was plent of room to hide me. Why did no one say anything? Obviously I'll never be able to run for political office now.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
09/16/2006 10:06 AM

I count 11 honkies, 11 brownies, and 1 that could go either way



With 26 children in its 1984 class, the College Street School simply didn't have time to focus on all of the subjects, such as mathematics and counting.

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
09/16/2006 10:22 AM

So what'd you do, cut it off and use it as a toilet handle?



The only thing funny about that post is that it made me remember the scene in Johnny Dangerously when the mob boss flushed the toilet and a bomb went off. He came out of the bathroom clutching the toilet handle, and he thought it was his dork.

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
09/16/2006 10:28 AM

What's scary about Bankey's pic is that a few of those kids look exactly like kids I knew growing up.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
09/16/2006 10:45 AM

Years later, after reviewing the arrests and other problems encountered by Mr. Akimbo, the Institute would formally apologize for the experiment involving the wallpaper.

Dianapop 57,835 109
09/16/2006 03:19 PM

I'm sure I've posted this before: Blow me. Or is it "me blow"?

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
09/16/2006 03:24 PM

How on earth did you teach her to fit all that in her mouth?

Sage of Seattle (Meandering Fecklessly) 36,465 8
09/16/2006 03:41 PM

Wow, Diane, now I know how you got that "slide whistle" technique down so well!

The Jerk 6,311 9
09/16/2006 04:19 PM

<action>on Dogs' pic</action>

It looks like your dad is trying to stab you with the meat fork.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
09/16/2006 07:09 PM

Yes. Yes, it does.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/16/2006 07:24 PM

Oh, dear God.



First day of school, I am on the left.



I'm on the left.



On the left again.





Heh. Oh, and before Jaggy comes in screaming, yes I got them off her old site. And I still have that bear. She has some plaster in her fur from the time she broke her arm and I set it for her.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/16/2006 07:42 PM

Antenna boy in the background had no hope of avoiding conspiracy theorist branding, especially after naming his first child "Area 51".

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/16/2006 07:44 PM

Check that "Hi, Mr. Johnson, boy you sure look handsome today and meet me in the little girls room." smirk on leftie there.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/16/2006 07:44 PM

this pic

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/16/2006 08:04 PM

Hey! How dare you make fun of my deformed facial muscles.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/16/2006 08:09 PM

Heh. I'm 3rd from left, Jaggy is in the middle getting checked out by that big boy.



I love how I'm the only one smiling.

Jaggy 11,895 13
09/17/2006 02:26 AM

I look pretty content, though, cuddling up to Angela. I find it funny that I can still name almost everyone in that photo.

The one that broke the camel's back 98,000 37
09/17/2006 02:46 AM

Nobody's made any jokes about the twins being buck nekkid next to a wading pool that could possibly contain jello?



I'm ashamed of you people.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/17/2006 10:56 PM

Oh, there was jello in the pool, it had just passed through Jaggy first. Neep was not pleased.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/18/2006 10:02 PM

Ok, lets see...



1: The proper lower Alabama attire. In this instant I have just been hit with the lawn sprinkler as the photo is being taken. Awesome.



2: Kentucky, 1974. My uncle "Tiny" on the couch and me stuck in a corner. A recent review of my report cards from this time period revealed the following comment: "Mike is often times making faces for unknown reasons. Please ask him to stop."



3: Mouth-breathin' basketballin' freak. Oh, the humanity.



...and something I found for Al...



4: Nice cans.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/19/2006 08:14 AM

blump.

Bankey 70,843 10
09/19/2006 08:44 AM

Mouth-breathin' basketballin' freak.



You should thank God every day that your face finally grew into your nostrils.

Zorb 1,592 11
09/19/2006 08:52 AM

I don't have any pix. I was unwanted as a child. I was born with a hanger sticking out of my head, so my dad carried a picture of the kid that came with his wallet.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/19/2006 09:16 AM

In the Fratberry family, everyone over the age of 30 must pose with their crotches exposed.

Zorb 1,592 11
09/19/2006 09:23 AM

Are you sure the kid in that photo wasn't adopted from a family of inflatable sex dolls?

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/19/2006 09:25 AM

We had a rake for that carpet.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/19/2006 09:30 AM

I remember my family well.



We loved to sing and dance and play together, but thinking back on those times makes me nauseous--my memories are all full of quick zooms.

Zorb 1,592 11
09/19/2006 09:33 AM

"It's Danger Island next"...

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/19/2006 09:54 AM

Holy Crap, that thing's been in production forever. Early copies seen here for review set aside while Gilligan is on.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/19/2006 11:38 AM

Heh. Nice.

The L Spot 48,662 14
09/19/2006 12:34 PM

Lloyd and his older brother, midway through their "who can look the most like a girl" contest.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/19/2006 01:12 PM

Danny charges David 25% interest on a loan against his future allowance.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/19/2006 01:13 PM

Danny Partridge charges David 25% interest on a loan against his future allowance.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/19/2006 01:13 PM

see the partridge part brings it all together

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/19/2006 01:14 PM

I wonder if Lloyd and his brother were ever into Rush?

Zorb 1,592 11
09/19/2006 01:18 PM

Dad just told them its bedtime and there is only one bed....

Pumpkin Noggin-getting slushy in all the rain 56,642 8
09/19/2006 01:34 PM

LLoyd..Older brother wins this round....but you were a close second.

Now...who's winning the "looks most like Kojack" contest?

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/22/2006 07:46 AM

I'm on the left. That cat is big and old and dribbles.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/22/2006 11:41 AM

Even back then, Jaggy was sniffing after fishy smells. As was the cat.

Bendy Straw 98,000 37
09/22/2006 11:57 AM

Looking at Neep's picture, my ovaries just exploded. I almost want to have twins.



I'll get over it.

Pumpkin Noggin-smashed along the doorsteps 56,642 8
09/22/2006 12:12 PM

Straw, no you don't. Really.



Usually leads more to this than that.

Millie 116,988 28
09/22/2006 10:37 PM

TWINS!

Millie 116,988 28
09/22/2006 10:37 PM

God, I look retarded.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/23/2006 12:41 AM

Actually, you look a lot like a 404 error.

Millie 116,988 28
09/24/2006 12:32 AM

Oh my GOD!



I never realized my kindergarten teacher was really a man.



Also, that there were so many ugly children in my class. The put my brother in the other class because we were too disruptive together.



p.s. Chickens--the link works for me.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/24/2006 12:39 AM

Wow, that kinda reminded me of my class picture.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
09/24/2006 12:42 AM

I twisted my ankle getting in here. Someone said that Millie had posted pictures of the twins.

Bendy Straw 98,000 37
09/24/2006 12:51 AM

Wow, Millie, your expression in the class pic is very similar to the one in the GAB album.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/24/2006 12:54 AM

I think she painted her own dress. And somebody really needs to photoshop Bankey from his class picture into this one.

Millie 116,988 28
09/24/2006 12:58 AM

For cryin' out loud, I was FIVE! I didn't pick out that ugly dress and I'm sure my two older sisters had also worn it at some point.



I mean, look at the poor kid next to me. What mother, even in 1971, would dress her son in those pants?

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/24/2006 01:01 AM

I have a kindergarten picture with everyone dressed up in halloween costumes. I'll get it scanned when I can find it. Its awful and will surely bring me huge amounts of ridicule.



Moreso than normal.

Bendy Straw 98,000 37
09/24/2006 01:04 AM

Miss Povenmire. Sounds like she's into S&M.

Dave's not here - but he left it all sticky. 52,827 16
09/24/2006 01:04 AM

God damn, I've seen better looking kids in thalidomide case studies.



Glad you turned out ok Millie. I'm betting you were the one family in the neighborhood who only drank bottled water. That's just not a statisticly acceptable level of fugly.

Millie 116,988 28
09/24/2006 01:05 AM

I'm surprised I wasn't afraid to go to school. She scares me now. I think we went to her house one day because she lived near the school. I remember she had a pendant light that looked like a bunch of purple grapes. It was pretty cool.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/24/2006 01:16 AM

I still don't think that's as bad as my social studies teacher. An odd black woman, she wore pantyhose but NEVER SHAVED HER LEGS.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
09/24/2006 07:02 AM

I can't find any pictures that haven't already been posted on GAB, but I refuse to let that stop me from participating.



He was cooler than Tin-Tin!



Um, very not-gay

Jaggy 11,895 13
09/24/2006 07:16 AM

You had Asterix and cowboys in space?

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
09/24/2006 07:24 AM

You had Asterix and cowboys in space?



At one point in history, cowboys on Earth used to be really common, right? And now they're less common?



Do you think they just disappeared? That's ridiculous.

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
09/24/2006 10:41 AM

Millie, in your pic the little boy in the middle of the front row probably grew up to be Frostin' psychotic. And the boy on the far right of the second row was in my kindergarten class pic too. Same clothes and everything.

Millie 116,988 28
09/24/2006 07:53 PM

Must be my classmate's son. By the way, I don't remember any of those children. I guess I had no friends in kindergarten. As you can see, I wasn't the most social child.

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
09/24/2006 08:54 PM

Um, very not-gay



*fights urge to say 'Ride 'em cowboy'*

Millie 116,988 28
09/24/2006 11:32 PM

And, just so you know, those children are products of the great state of Ohio--I didn't move to Maine until I was almost eight.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/25/2006 03:16 AM

That tardo class pic is on of the two funniest pics on the web. Fratberry's is pretty funny too.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/25/2006 06:27 AM

And this is why I want cute Millie babies.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/25/2006 06:30 AM

And I'm not creepy!

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/25/2006 07:19 AM

Millie, would you mind sleeping with this guy? Actually, you would be crazy not to... but there is a catch. Can you please have babies with him and give them to me? Thanks, yer a doll.



(I'm gonna have the gorgeoustest kids evar!)

BlueLep: Drives A Fast Volvo. 13,144 10
09/25/2006 07:23 AM

Hey Neep, sleep with me and you can have the ugliest babies in the world.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/25/2006 07:24 AM

Uh... no.

BlueLep: Drives A Fast Volvo. 13,144 10
09/25/2006 07:27 AM

Aw, Neep, you're too nice!

Millie 116,988 28
09/25/2006 02:12 PM

Neep, I will happily have that guy's babies, whoever he is, but I'm not giving them away. You can come live with me and help bring them up, though.

Pumpkin Noggin-decorating in earnest (and Valpo) 56,642 8
09/25/2006 02:26 PM

"A Kiwi's adventures in Maine"....hmm...sounds like a good title for a childrens book.















or a Porno.









Either way I'm ok with that.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/27/2006 11:12 PM

More photos for my humiliation. Ok, let's see here...



Things started off pretty good in the 60's. By 1970, though, things had started to go down hill. Fast. Apparently there weren't a lot of halloween costume options in Alabama at the time. And I didn't even own a cat at the time. Just a poodle. Well, that's sort of like a cat. It just gets worse but at least you can't tell if I'm wearing nuthuggers or not. Hell, you can't even tell which one is me. But, dayumn, look at that fro. There was actually a kid behind that thing but you can't see him. Say what you want about the 70's but they weren't kind to anyone. Well, maybe my brother's hair. Ok, I'll break that one down for you. My brother is stoned, I'm being a complete dickwad and my parents want a nice family photo of the trip. So, its about the normal look for us. Love the rims, pop.



Finally, this is from 1990. Its not a kid photo but it does show my awesome mustache and my even more awesome mullet. I believe that was funnel cake number two for m'lady (the fat cow who's no longer affiliated with Fratberry, Inc.).



Yes, Mrs. Fratberry saw all of these photos and many more before we even began talking of marriage and she still went through with it. I guess she figured it couldn't get any worse. HAHAHAHAHA.

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
09/27/2006 11:46 PM

In the 70s, your brother was really hot.

Zorb 1,592 11
09/27/2006 11:53 PM

But, the quality of air conditioning has gone way up since then.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/28/2006 08:06 AM

Yes, my brother pulled more tail than a cheap barcalounger.



</stolen>

Bankey 70,843 10
09/28/2006 09:08 AM

You may believe that frat keeps bumping this thread to graciously post more childhood pics, but in reality he just can't get enough of my athletic 3rd grade thighs.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/28/2006 09:17 AM

I drove by your old school this morning and thought that it might be time to take another picture. You can still pull your pants up to your chest, right?

Phuc 237,919 21
09/28/2006 09:20 AM

Fulfilling Donk's dreams since 1966.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/28/2006 09:21 AM

That's one of the more awesome child photos ever. And what does the belt buckle say? Looks like it says Shakespeare.

Bankey 70,843 10
09/28/2006 09:27 AM

You look like you're ripping out the bad-assed-est version of 'Froggy Went a Courtin' the would has ever heard!

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/28/2006 10:07 AM

Even back then, Phuc was bear bait.