Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/27/2006 05:26 PM

In the line of genius doctors: "Your arm isn't broken, but you may have a broken arm."



What??

Brewmaster 596 7
09/27/2006 05:26 PM

I woulda spit on him.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/27/2006 05:26 PM

Seven hours?? What, did your surgeon have to go to med school first?



Even my surgeries won't take more than four.

BlueLep: Lives At The Coffee Shop 13,144 10
09/27/2006 05:27 PM

In the line of genius doctors: "Your arm isn't broken, but you may have a broken arm."



What??



Silly, that means it's half broken!

Dead Battery 2,533 9
09/27/2006 05:27 PM

If you stop picking at it it will get better.

Dead Battery 2,533 9
09/27/2006 05:32 PM

"Your girlfriend will NEVER notice it."

Brewmaster 596 7
09/27/2006 05:34 PM

"Careful, he bites!"



Right after I got bit.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
09/27/2006 05:34 PM

True story :



The Doctor was holding a 9 inch pair of needle nose pliers and preparing to forcibly yank out steel pins that were in my foot. (Surgical pins that had been there for 3 months while the bones healed.)



I ask him, "Is this going to hurt?", and without a pause he replies, "Won't hurt me a bit.", and grabs the pin with the pliers and twists it.



Last thing anyone needs, is a smartass Doctor.

Senior Destructor: It's Yorkie's day off 60,724 12
09/27/2006 05:34 PM

It's not something anyone literally said to me, but once, someone on an internet forum posted a thread that was exactly like another thread, but she just changed the title a little bit.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
09/27/2006 05:36 PM

So this is the same exact thread as "The dumbest thing anyone ever said to you", only with added sarcasm in the title? How brilliant.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
09/27/2006 05:37 PM

It's just as stupid as posting the same message as another poster in a thread, just worded differently. Pfft.



(Frost you, SD)

scoobynoob 2,160 6
09/27/2006 05:37 PM

On several occasions people have said to me, "STFU n00b."



Brilliant.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
09/27/2006 05:38 PM

STFU n00b.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/27/2006 05:39 PM

Seven hours?? What, did your surgeon have to go to med school first?



There were a few "complications":



*it wasn't small like they thought, it was from my xiphoid process to my pubis prettyis



*they put me under too far and had to wait for my vitals to come back online



*massive bloodloss



*my guts essploded all over the place when they opened my peritoneum



*Dr. Frostup stopped the surgery for a while to snarf some dinner and relieve himself

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/27/2006 05:40 PM

When I was twelve I stepped on a toothpick, and an inch of it broke off in my foot and promptly disappeared.



I went to the doctor to get it removed, because while I don't object to having wood in me normally, when you're twelve and it's an inch of toothpick and hurts like hell, you want it out.



After he poked around in my foot for about 15 minutes (with no painkillers, I might add, not even a tylenol or advil or anything) he told me firmly that there was nothing in my foot, and I must have been mistaken.



A month later an inch of toothpick forced its way out of my toe, just above where it had originally come in.



Stupid doctors.

Dead Battery 2,533 9
09/27/2006 05:40 PM

I was on a forum once where they spelled "Smartest" smrtest.

scoobynoob 2,160 6
09/27/2006 05:41 PM

MaddMatt: You think up that yourself?

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
09/27/2006 05:42 PM

"ooops, stepped on a frog." - my grandad after farting

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
09/27/2006 05:43 PM

"ooops, sat on a duck." - my grandad after farting

scoobynoob 2,160 6
09/27/2006 05:43 PM

"oops, sat on hisboyelroy," me after farting.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/27/2006 05:44 PM

Sorry to hear that HC. Surgical complications, BTDT got the scars and t-shirt to prove it.



Hope you are mending/have mended well.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/27/2006 05:44 PM

MaddMatt: You think up that yourself?



No, we had a three-way IM with Hargrave. It was Jeff's idea.

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
09/27/2006 05:44 PM

goddamn this place sucks.

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
09/27/2006 05:45 PM

MaddMatt: You think up that yourself?



Yup, copyrighted it too.



Now everyone has to give me ten cents everytime they use it.

scoobynoob 2,160 6
09/27/2006 05:46 PM

Sucks like a duck getting farted on.

scoobynoob 2,160 6
09/27/2006 05:47 PM

Yo Matt, $1



STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b

STFU n00b



Sorry, didn't have change for a dollar.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/27/2006 05:47 PM

<action>laughs at SCB's pain, err, ummm, story.</action>



Yeah, I'm okay, thanks.



I have a cool midline on my stomach now. There were so many stitches that when I flex my abs it looks like a baby dragons back trying to poke through.

BlueLep: Lives At The Coffee Shop 13,144 10
09/27/2006 05:49 PM

When I was in the hospital the doctors said, "It seems your toe got ran over"



NO Frost-ing Shakespeare!

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
09/27/2006 05:50 PM

Kewl!



Can I touch it?

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
09/27/2006 05:50 PM

i'm getting the hell outta here before i get any more stupid on me.



jesus christ

MaddMatt - Steely Eyed Warrior/Poet 15,437 9
09/27/2006 05:52 PM

Uh, that would be Hahvahd's tummy, not your toe.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/27/2006 05:59 PM

<action>hopes he took his herd of frogs and ducks with him.</action>Bitch, bitch, bitch, and he finally left..... thank you, Mother of God.

backdoorsushi 97 6
09/27/2006 06:03 PM

If at first you dont succeed, Frost it

Chit 178,781 15
09/27/2006 06:21 PM

Holy Shakespeare, SCB, what the hell haven't you had your flesh pierced by in your past ?



Sewing Needle

Toothpick

Butter knife



OK, you fill in the rest, and go slow please...

BlueLep: Lives At The Coffee Shop 13,144 10
09/27/2006 06:24 PM

Holy Shakespeare, SCB, what the hell haven't you had your flesh pierced by in your past ?



Sewing Needle

Toothpick

Butter knife



OK, you fill in the rest, and go slow please...



A 9 Iron?





What?

Johnny Virgil 2,359 7
09/27/2006 06:48 PM

Re: smartest thing.



When I was a poor college student, A few of us went to the liquor store to get some cheap wine. We pooled our money and settled on a jug of Thunderbird. As we were leaving, the drunken homeless guy propped up against the side of the building said, "Don't drink dat. Dat make ya sick."

Pram is sick of your shit. Kill yourself. 80,728 42
09/27/2006 07:10 PM

Smartest customer in teh world:



"Do you want me to empty these cans and bottles outside?"



Me: "No, I want you to empty them into your pants."

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
09/27/2006 07:50 PM

"Maybe you should have that looked at."

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/27/2006 11:07 PM

Holy Shakespeare, SCB, what the hell haven't you had your flesh pierced by in your past ?



Sewing Needle

Toothpick

Butter knife



OK, you fill in the rest, and go slow please...



This is when I wish I was a virgin, so I could say something along the lines of "By everything but the one thing that matters."



Ah well.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/27/2006 11:10 PM

Oh, and a safety pin, I stapled my thumb twice (on different occasions), and stepped on a rusty nail when I was about five. That one hurt like a bitch. Plus it's really weird to look down and see an couple inches of rusty metal emerging from the top of your foot.

Zorb 1,592 11
09/27/2006 11:11 PM

"That machine only takes dollars."

Dave's not here - but he left it all sticky. 52,827 16
09/27/2006 11:11 PM

Are you sure you don't want to run for it? We can be in Florida by tomorrow.



- My best man and best friend 5 minutes before my wedding.





Wish I'd listened.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/27/2006 11:20 PM

SCB, I think we've had similar experiences.



When I was about 10, I was fishing with my daddy in southern Texas. He was out on the pier and was yelling for me to "come see the whopper" that he caught. My dad was at the end of the pier so I ran as fast as I could to see this trophy fish. And being the brain-dead daughter I was at the time, I rammed my foot onto the top of a large catfish. The barb went straight through the bottom of my shoe, through my foot and out the top of my shoe.

All the ladies love Briham and his Oozinator! 38,843 10
09/28/2006 01:42 AM

When my mom put hardwood floors in our house, I spent the first few weeks sliding around on them in my socks. Unfortunatly, the wood wasn't completely smooth. I ended up with a two inch splinter of wood in the bottom of my foot. Pinned my sock onto my sole. I managed to get half of it out, but the remaining inch was too far into my foot for me to reach. So I left it alone.



Fast forward a week. I'm at wrestling practice and my foot starts hurting while I'm running. I explain that I've had a splinter in there for about a week. They tell me to get it out before it becomes seriously infected. That night, after some careful work with a tweezer and some nail scissors, I finally fished the rest of the splinter out.

LitaFord 61 7
09/28/2006 02:45 AM

My sister said "don't marry him." She was right.

jeeniRoach - not herself recently. 47,787 51
09/28/2006 05:43 AM

HC, get well, please. You don't need to go back to that doctor, do you? I think Big Irish Guy would make a more sensitive doctor than the one you have. (Ask if he's taking new patients at this time.)









Smartest Most brilliant thing I've ever heard - seriously:



When all is said and done, more is said than done. -David J.



That sums up what I call WORKING IN A DAMN OFFICE. Endless conferences, meetings, phone calls, emails, blah blah blah! Stop forcing me to explain what I am going to do and let me Frost-ing do it!

Succubus 3,359 10
09/28/2006 08:26 AM

When I was talking about my most recent ex to my "good" ex, he said "You never really know someone until you break up with them." I've found this to be a wise axiom.

Pram 80,728 42
09/28/2006 11:58 PM

mammothman

cool what sort of camera do you use



prammaven

I don't use a camera at all! I bought three magic beans from a midget hobo, and when I got to the top of the beanstalk, the giant granted me three wishes after I bashed his nuts with a crowbar. One of my wishes was to be able to make stuff move by itself. So he threw me a webcam and said "catch!"

Dave's not here - he's taking a sick day. 52,827 16
09/29/2006 12:00 AM

Dude. Really. What the Frost is wrong with you?

Pram 80,728 42
09/29/2006 12:01 AM

Ooops, I need to make changes to that last post. May I? Thanks.



One of my wishes was to be able to make stuff move by itself. So he threw me a webcam and said "ow, my nuts!"

Pram 80,728 42
09/29/2006 12:12 AM

What's wrong with YOU, Dave? Got a Jesus complex?

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/29/2006 12:27 AM

Dear Dave,



"Pram" is what happens to posters when they don't use enough Cling Free.



e.g. "Oh Shakespeare, I've not kept my distance from the n00b and now he's posting multiple replies to my post! I've been Prammed!"



Just trying to help...

Love,

Luscious

Dave's not here - he's taking a sick day. 52,827 16
09/29/2006 12:32 AM

HC, as always you are a bright beacon of enlightenment piercing the ambient dim.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/29/2006 12:36 AM

That's funny, I'm not able to see as well as I used to, perhaps it's the lack of orbage on my planet?

Thud 68,497 19
09/29/2006 12:36 AM

I've been Prammed



HC, is it okay if I use this line?

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/29/2006 12:38 AM

It should be in the Gabtionary.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/29/2006 12:42 AM

Sure, use it, just give me credit.

Thud 68,497 19
09/29/2006 12:46 AM

I'll give you credit and you're right, it should be in the Gabitionary.

Undies- I married Spicey so Gabbers would like me 101,398 77
09/29/2006 08:03 AM

My new favorite word is Pramtastic.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
09/29/2006 08:19 AM

The smrtest thing I've ever heard was when jeeni thought that BIG was a doctor, and not the office bitch at some law firm.

BlueLep: Needs To Quit Smoking 13,144 10
09/29/2006 08:30 AM

I thought BIG was the Janitor...

Stuey loves me.... 33 6
09/29/2006 08:31 AM

What is it with Doc's??



I went to my Doc to get a blood test to check if Pregnant or not... i got the results (negative)... Three months later i go back to the doctor coz i had chicken pox... First thing he says to me is "Well your not Pregnant"



Deeeeerrrrrrrrrrr You don't say...

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
09/29/2006 08:33 AM

I would have read your post, but I can't find the Retard/English translator on www.freetranslations.com.

Pram 80,728 42
09/29/2006 09:59 AM

Dear HC, you've turned into a bit of an Emerson lately, but I still like your icon.



Love, Prammy Dumpling Gravy Sauce

Pram 80,728 42
09/29/2006 10:24 AM

PS: Pram it up your ass.

Pram 80,728 42
09/29/2006 10:27 AM

<action> licks the envelope </action>

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/29/2006 05:04 PM

<action>checks her supply of dryer sheets.</action>Oh dear God NO! I've been Prammed!

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
09/29/2006 05:09 PM

Hey, HC, that was absoFrostinlutely pramtastic!

Bieze 1,382 7
09/29/2006 05:49 PM

"Dude, those are isotopes"

"-Dang, I thought they was candy"

Pram 80,728 42
09/29/2006 09:02 PM

Goddammit, I keep clicking on HC's link and I'm not getting anywhere.

Pram 80,728 42
09/29/2006 09:02 PM

I've been ME'd!