Bankey 70,843 10
09/29/2006 09:04 AM

The strictly sexually harassing ones can still go to the regular account though, right?

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/29/2006 09:05 AM

end.in.tears.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/29/2006 09:07 AM

This had better at least get Aimless her own icon. How many years have you been doing this now?

Phuc 237,919 21
09/29/2006 09:18 AM

People who stiff--and that means anyone who has ever sent their gift out after Xmas day--should be burned alive and fed to starving rabid dogs.























...then banned from GAB.

Capt. CaAaAaAaAaAaveChickens 286,539 61
09/29/2006 09:23 AM

Aimless's icon came shooting out of her cooter last year. She's already imortalized.

the girl with colitis goes by 156,790 17
09/29/2006 09:24 AM

Relax. I swear, some day all that anger is going to cause you to implode all over downtown Boston.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/29/2006 09:26 AM

Relax. I swear, some day all that anger is going to cause you to implode all over downtown Boston.



If I imploded, it wouldn't go anywhere.



Watch some Star Trek, woman.

the girl with colitis goes by 156,790 17
09/29/2006 09:32 AM

It would if you created a sinkhole!

Phuc 237,919 21
09/29/2006 09:39 AM

If this mass implodes, the singularity it creates will suck in all matter for approximately 12.46 parsecs.



It doesn't change the fact that Janeway was the worst Trek captain ever, though.

Fratberry 283,018 53
09/29/2006 09:46 AM

If that mass implodes it will cut the build time of the big dig by six months.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/29/2006 09:59 AM

If this mass implodes, the singularity it creates will suck in all matter for approximately 12.46 parsecs.



Yeah, but does it spit or swallow?

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
09/29/2006 10:00 AM

People who stiff--and that means anyone who has ever sent their gift out after Xmas day--should be burned alive and fed to starving rabid dogs.























...then banned from GAB.





Oh yeah, for the record....I was late, but at lease I DIDN'T STIFF MY SECRET SANTA!



</not bitter>

Sarah (Storms are brewin' in my eyes) 30,601 8
09/29/2006 10:03 AM

I'll sign up.



I have a collection of scented candles gathering dust that i've been trying to indian give to someone for ages.



And of course I've been here for over a year....



*whistles*

Aimless 54,807 10
09/29/2006 10:10 AM

I don't need an Icon, I just want my pig to be more festive.



REMEMBER TO INCLUDE IF YOU WERE STIFFED LAST YEAR IN YOU E-MAIL TO ME!

Aimless 54,807 10
09/29/2006 10:11 AM

And in answer to your question Frat, this is my 3rd year I think.

the girl with colitis goes by 156,790 17
09/29/2006 10:18 AM

<action> throws an R to Aimless and a T to Chris Garrett</action>

dinesh 24,862 16
09/29/2006 11:05 AM

i think i send my gift late every year.

the girl with colitis goes by 156,790 17
09/29/2006 11:05 AM

But what nice gifts they are, lovey.

Oliver Chest Eats Baby Turds 203,475 12
09/29/2006 11:30 AM

I usually send them late, but I send lots of Shakespeare.

Sarah (Storms are brewin' in my eyes) 30,601 8
09/29/2006 12:19 PM

So, how do you know what to send someone? Will there be a list of what you want? Or is it like white elephant gifts?



Can I get two presents since my birthday is two weeks before Jesus'?



I'm being serious, so make with the answers, post haste.

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,453 11
09/29/2006 12:50 PM

I've sent an email. Count me in.

BlueLep: Needs To Quit Smoking 13,144 10
09/29/2006 01:00 PM

I sent an E-mail, waiting for approval before I send more info...



It's pretty much a bribe.

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/29/2006 02:17 PM

Aimless, so how are we matched up with our Secret Santa, by STDs, rap sheets or unfulfilled fantasies?

Sarah (Storms are brewin' in my eyes) 30,601 8
09/29/2006 02:21 PM

<action>crosses her fingers that its STD's</action>

Pumpkin Noggin-goin' Jack-o-latern hunting Sat. 56,642 8
09/29/2006 02:27 PM

<action> trying not to sound cheap, but failing miserably</action>





Dollar ammount assigned to said "presents"? I'd be in if I can afford it.

Lupience, Now with Fall Color! 26,981 11
09/29/2006 02:29 PM

$20, same as in town.



How new are you?

Aimless 54,807 10
09/29/2006 02:30 PM

1. There is no reason to send a gift late, you have pleanty of time to find something and send it out on time.



2. Harvard Chic I just e-mailed you back. I need your personal info (bra size, thong preference, etc.)



The pairing up is a super secret process and if I told you I would have to kill you.



3. Sarah: Gabbers are pretty generous with their gift giving, if you get someone and don't know what to send them I recommend creating a IM or e-mail account to contact that person and ask them what they like.

Pumpkin Noggin-goin' Jack-o-latern hunting Sat. 56,642 8
09/29/2006 03:38 PM

<action> smaks head for missing obvious $20 as well as to make a nice squishy, gishing sound.</action>





Sorry, lost my noggin for a moment there.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
09/29/2006 03:42 PM

I didn't stiff, but one of the things I ordered for Mr. Sir was late because it was shipped out in the middle of a busy Christmas season and didn't arrive until afterwords.



I unfortunately didn't get to see his reaction, anyone want to do a search and find where he thanked me or berated me?

Phuc 237,919 21
09/29/2006 03:46 PM

anyone want to do a search and find where he thanked me or berated me?





Because...



You became a quadroplegic in your absense?



You have a speech impediment that prevents you from typing in searach fields?



Your fingers are too fat and the stick in your mouth that you type with has a hard time reaching the "S?"



You're just as much of a tard as you ever were?



All of the above plus a case of the Jillies?

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
09/29/2006 03:48 PM

was late because it was shipped out in the middle of a busy Christmas season



Which is why everyone needs to get tracking info when they send their gifts!

Phuc 237,919 21
09/29/2006 03:52 PM

I lojacked the puppy I sent to Filly last year.



Right now, it's in a landfill near her school! The lil' scamp--he's probably chasing squirrels!

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
09/29/2006 03:54 PM

I do it every other year. Last year was an off year for me, so I'm in this year.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
09/29/2006 04:00 PM

was late because it was shipped out in the middle of a busy Christmas season



Yeah, the "busy Christmas season" just happened to occur around the same time as GAB's Secret Santa last year, that was a real bummer.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
09/29/2006 04:17 PM

So solly, Al, I didn't feel I needed to put in that I searched and searched and searched for it a few months ago and that was why I stated "I didn't get to see his reaction." I figured that someone would be helpful enough to use their leet search skillz and find something I missed.



Also, I ordered it a week before X-mas, but they didn't print it and send it until after. I can't be blamed for what the company does. I sent a package with the other 95% of the gifts out and it arrived before the big day.



Damn. Hostile X-mas season started early this year.

John Ohnhargrave 54 9
09/29/2006 04:18 PM

What is the approximate suggested value for the gifts?

Pumpkin Noggin-goin' Jack-o-latern hunting Sat. 56,642 8
09/29/2006 04:26 PM

<action> glad to see he's not the only one about to get reemed for asking

Jolson 16,163 11
09/29/2006 04:31 PM

I just want my pig to be more festive.



Me too! I rolled the bitch in pink powdered sugar and made her wear antlers made out of candy canes.

















Just a suggestion.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
09/29/2006 04:31 PM

As has already been stated,



$20. Same as in town.





You can't go wrong staying in that price range, depending on what you send and if it's multiple gifts, etc. Don't go above $50, unless you really want to, but don't expect to get that much from your SS. Also, put some thought into it and make it obscure, fun, and something you would want around your house, because we usually brag about how special or Shakespearety gifts are.





I got a great book of original Japanese haiku last year that I carry around in my messenger bag for a time killer. But that was just one item among many.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/29/2006 04:42 PM

It doesn't change the fact that Janeway was the worst Trek captain ever, though.



Watch it.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
09/29/2006 04:43 PM

I'll gladly take my gift late if it is late AND awesome, like the Easter gift I got from my SS last year.



On time and awesome would be acceptable, like the gift I got the year before last.



Perhaps I should quit this game while I'm ahead?

Phuc 237,919 21
09/29/2006 04:52 PM

Spend as much as you want, keeping in mind that the quality and quantity of your gifts determine your status on the board for the year to come.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/29/2006 04:52 PM

Watch it.



Bring it, kid.



My Kung Fu can defeat any spork technique!

Mr. Sir. 66,727 9
09/29/2006 07:22 PM

Hammerhead, I got everything, and if I remember correctly, I thanked you within a SS thread. I don't remember specifically.





For everybody else, he sent a bunch of fun stuff, and he let me know that a cool shirt was on the way, but would be delayed... it was OK with me, and I appreciated everything.

Big Boobs McGee 6,369 10
09/29/2006 07:37 PM

I'm in! Damnit! I want to know who I have NOW!

ringworm 68,315 13
09/29/2006 07:40 PM

1. There is no reason to send a gift late, you have pleanty of time to find something and send it out on time.



but late gifts do draw interest compounded monthly.

Jihad Joe- The Real Arabian Hero 6,067 8
09/29/2006 07:43 PM

Mr. Sir,



This one?



Love,

A secret Admirer

Harvard Chick 16,937 8
09/29/2006 07:45 PM

That's so touching, I'm tearing up.

Lupience, Now with Fall Color! 26,981 11
09/29/2006 08:15 PM

1. There is no reason to send a gift late, you have pleanty of time to find something and send it out on time.



Tell that to my last SS.



I finally took the tinsel off my mailbox.

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
09/29/2006 08:17 PM

I feel sorry for whoever gets assigned to me.



The other two times I did this, I sent a book about poop and a book about vaginal fisting.

Captain Skippy with a parrot 41,253 13
09/29/2006 08:24 PM

I have a collection of scented candles gathering dust that i've been trying to indian give to someone for ages.



So you're going to give them to someone and ask for them back?

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/30/2006 02:45 AM

Bring it, kid.



My Kung Fu can defeat any spork technique!



As awesome as it is, Janeway almost never has to resort to sporkage.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/30/2006 02:47 AM

I don't feel sorry for whoever gets me... for the first time, this year I'm armed with a credit card.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
09/30/2006 02:58 AM

Oh, I forgot to post this as well.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
09/30/2006 12:29 PM

Dear Al and Aimless,



It took me awhile to find something that my victim could actually use, so Whistler didn't get it until Easter. As you can see by his above post, he had no problem with is since I made up for it with BobJohnson AWESOMENESS.



Now, speaking of BobJohnson...MAIL MY GIFT FROM LAST YEAR ALREADY.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/30/2006 02:26 PM

Thanks, Neep. Your links, much like your boobage, are forbidden.

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
09/30/2006 03:30 PM

Spend as much as you want, keeping in mind that the quality and quantity of your gifts determine your status on the board for the year to come.



Get screwed last year, Al?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
09/30/2006 06:17 PM

Thanks, Jihad Joe. <action>sends Joe a nuke-o-gram</action>





I completely forgot that the jellybean pooper was a donkey. I do remember the foam disk shooter. Annoyed your co-workers/special persons to you with it yet?

Millie 116,988 28
10/01/2006 12:20 AM

I DIDN'T STIFF MY SECRET SANTA!



Yeah, but my self-esteem was down the tubes for a few months because I thought nobody loved me!

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
10/01/2006 01:01 AM

<action>sighs</action>

Grrrr.



I'm over this now.

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/01/2006 01:58 AM

but late gifts do draw interest compounded monthly.



best. Christmas. evar.

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/01/2006 02:01 AM

p.s. I did get stiffed again last year too.. so I'm really looking forward to Christmas '08!

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
10/01/2006 02:05 AM

I will not be participating this year..due to the whole " Jilly hate movement" but there are gabbers who will recieve special goodies... you know who you are...

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/01/2006 02:06 AM

Sorry, I've been gone a while.

Why do you hate movement?

SquidBoy 19,912 12
10/01/2006 02:07 AM

I still don't believe in Christmas.

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
10/01/2006 02:11 AM

I DIDN'T STIFF MY SECRET SANTA!



Yeah, but my self-esteem was down the tubes for a few months because I thought nobody loved me!



I'm sure someone here is willing to "stiff" you, Millie.

BlueLep: Needs To Quit Talking 13,144 10
10/01/2006 04:21 AM

I'm Jewish... Anyone want 8 presents?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/01/2006 04:43 AM

Only if one of those presents is going to be you cleaning my oven.

BlueLep: Needs To Quit Talking 13,144 10
10/01/2006 04:44 AM

Why would I be cleaning it? More like making it dirty, shesh.

KChikita - Newly Motherless & Still Not Chi Chi 128,316 98
10/01/2006 10:49 AM

I still don't believe in Christmas.



It's cool, Squid. You can just mail me more weird-flavored candy and we'll call it even, 'kay? But don't send it to the same address. I don't work for those Frosters anymore and the bitches at the front desk would just eat it all.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/01/2006 03:13 PM

I'm willing to do the Hint-o-Matic again this year if there is any interest in it.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/01/2006 03:19 PM

Oliver "Get me something good, or I will burn your house to the ground."



Cripes - I didn't see that. I guess I did ok. Or safe, becasue to burn my house down he'd have to fly to



[gulp]



Ohio.

Dianapop 57,835 109
10/01/2006 07:57 PM

So, how do you know what to send someone? Will there be a list of what you want? Or is it like white elephant gifts?



The first year I participated, Gabe got my name. Since he didn't know me at all, he did a little snooping and read through my livejournal, and even sent me emails from a fake account (I believe it was psanta_claws@yahoo.com) trying to gather info and feel out what I was like, etc. He was pretty much the best Secret Santa evAr.



The moral of the story is - it's not hard to find out what someone wants, even if you don't know anything about them.

Dianapop 57,835 109
10/01/2006 07:57 PM

Heh. His links still work.

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
10/01/2006 07:57 PM

I generally send people stuff I'm relatively certain nobody would really want. Makes it much easier.

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
10/01/2006 08:01 PM

Oh, and nice tits.

Dianapop 57,835 109
10/01/2006 08:02 PM

I try.

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/02/2006 01:18 AM

Why must you people always ruin gab with sex?

jeeniRoach, yes still married to Wiloughbie 47,787 51
10/02/2006 01:32 AM

It sounds like a number of odd people are doing this, but what happens if there's an odd number of people?

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/02/2006 02:04 AM

Could you please repeat the question but with a higher IQ?

jeeniRoach, yes still married to Wiloughbie 47,787 51
10/02/2006 02:49 AM

Frogpop: It sounds like uh number o' odd peeps iz doin' dis here, but what happens if dere'san odd number o' peeps? you know das right!

LitaFord 61 7
10/02/2006 03:32 AM

This is getting too hysterical.



Last year I was in the Secret Santa thing at work; we all had to fill out a QUESTIONNAIRE. The person I had said they didn't like BEETS. Good Lord. So all the gifts she got from me were wrapped around a can of Aldi cheapo beets. I made it good -- Granny Panties wrapped around the beet can, 50 cents taped to a beet can, etc, Best thing about it is I was of course the first one accused, but I was so straight-faced that I was eliminated. While she opened her gift I would say "OH, who would do that" In the end she got a gift card.

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/02/2006 06:29 AM

I'll rephrase.. It's Secret Santa, not a bathroom buddy program. They don't juSt pair you off with someone.. that would sort of give away the "Secret" part if the person you have also has you.



Therefore - Aimless could have Bonky, Bonky could have ChiChi, and ChiChi could have Aimless. OMG!!1 A 3 PEOPLE SECRET SANTA! IT'S THE END TIMES!!1



Either that, or Aimless is a witch.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/02/2006 07:28 AM

I generally send people stuff I'm relatively certain nobody would really want. Makes it much easier.



And this is a large part of the reason I'm out this year.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/02/2006 07:48 AM

It's about time you admited it.



So, wanna make out?

BlueLeprechaun 13,144 10
10/02/2006 07:58 AM

If I get a present from Ditdah, it would most likely be lesbian porn...



Sweet.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/02/2006 08:42 AM

I have never given anyone lesbian porn as a gift. If you're a woman, I assume you've participated in it, or have NO interest in it.



If you're a man, you most likely own it, fantasize about it, dayfream about it, talk about it... I feel no need to further that.



I'll send you gay porn instead.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/02/2006 08:55 AM

Wouldn't lesbian porn be a type of gay porn?





You really are a horrible lesbian.

BlueLeprechaun 13,144 10
10/02/2006 08:56 AM

I am SO not giving you my address now.

Phuc 237,919 21
10/02/2006 09:03 AM

Get screwed last year, Al?



My SS last year got me stuff I really wanted, even though I didn't know I wanted it. She sent it on time. It arrived on time. It made my Kwanzaaaa that much more ng'gnob[click click]shambalala.



I speak not from bitterness but from common courtesy. If you can't get gifts and mail them by... uhh... whatever deadline, it's a very sure sign of you being an Emerson (not "you" meaning you Donk, but the general "you"). This is for Christmas, the holiday of togetherness and giving, not Hanukkah, the holiday of stinginess and banking clans.



Another sign is if you get your SS a caricatBLAM

Undies- I married Spicey so Gabbers would like me 101,398 77
10/02/2006 09:08 AM

Last year, my SS got me an anal kit, 4 pairs of underwear, and a calendar full of nekked firefighters.



SHP is teh awesome.

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/02/2006 10:03 AM

THE LIST!! (So far)



Declan McManus

Lupience

ClintMcPants

Phuc

Trixxie

Hammerhead

High Priestess of Stewie

Jade-Queen of Mistakes

Mr Stabby

Straw

Filly

Harvard Chick

BlueLep

The Rockin' Donkey

Briham

Sharribarri

TTJ

Whistler P. McManus

BIG

Prof.Fantabulous

Jaggy

Kchiki

Dogs Akimbo

Spicey McHaggis

Pumpkin Noggin

Chickens

Neep

Trae

Ditdah

dianada

Frogpop

dinesh maneyapanda

Big Boobs Mcgee

newwave

Larkknot

Millie

Mr. Slinky

UnderWhere?

csme

Taco Crunch

Dave's not here.

Humprey





PLEASE DONATE TO THE SS ACCOUNT!! Even just $5 can help.

Mel Gibson hates me 15,189 12
10/02/2006 01:14 PM

Dogs,

I didn't know you did that last year.



Blue Lep,

You're a Heeb too?



RR,

Darn! I was hoping you'd get my name!

Pumpkin Noggin-goin' Jack-o-latern hunting Sat. 56,642 8
10/02/2006 01:22 PM

Ihre SS an der Arbeit fr Sie. Geschenke knnen "vorher besessen werden".

Bendy Straw 98,000 37
10/02/2006 01:23 PM

I just read Gabe's thread. I remember Gabe, he was very cool and had a webcam on his site.



Also...Cracka's been around at least as long as I have? I had no idea!



I'm participating in Secret Santa for the first time this year - yay!

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
10/02/2006 02:09 PM

As far as the who wants what thing, could we not start a thread wherein everyone who was participating made a post about what they wanted/what was illegal in their state? That way there would be no "I don't know what the Frost this person's into wah wah."

Phuc 237,919 21
10/02/2006 02:12 PM

As far as the who wants what thing, could we not start a thread wherein everyone who was participating made a post about what they wanted/what was illegal in their state? That way there would be no "I don't know what the Frost this person's into wah wah."



No.



Do it and it'll be deleted.



Do your detective work in private.

Mr. Slinky - Already at the bottom of the stairs 28,185 10
10/02/2006 02:14 PM

He's a MEAN yellow man!

Millie 116,988 28
10/02/2006 04:42 PM

Blue Lep is Jewish?



Interesting.

Millie 116,988 28
10/02/2006 04:44 PM

Also, I like to sent gifts. I sent my SS victim a gift last year, and also sent some people cookies. And I made a gift for Chi Chi because he was stiffed once and was sad about it.



Dogs, thank you for guessing what I really want. I suppose I don't have anything to add to your hint thing.

Millie 116,988 28
10/02/2006 04:45 PM

Yeah, I like to senD gifts.



And I forgot, the Kiwi twins got a gift from me, but it wasn't for Christmas.

BlueLeprechaun 13,144 10
10/02/2006 04:47 PM

Blue Lep is Jewish?



That's right! And whoever I get, gets 8 presents, good ones too.

Mel Gibson hates me 15,189 12
10/02/2006 09:11 PM

So I guess Blue Lep and I could have our own gift exchange. I need a new menorah.

Millie 116,988 28
10/02/2006 09:16 PM

My sister gave me a cool menorah years ago when I was married.



I left at at my ex-husband's house.

Filly 39,193 20
10/02/2006 09:21 PM

Another sign is if you get your SS a caricatBLAM



Heh. I'm still mad you won't let me post a picture of that. It's awesome.

BlueLeprechaun 13,144 10
10/02/2006 09:25 PM

I need a new menorah.



I just bought like 3 of them.



Why? Because they looked badass.

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/03/2006 09:04 AM

By the way Millie, Brad has requested more of your cookies this year. We are willing to pay for them (baking materials, shipping, slave labor, etc).



Millie's cookies are like brightly colored crack. Once you get your fix you just have to have another. And another. And another. And then suddenly you find your self naked in the living room surrounded in crumbs with an empty glass of milk beside you and no idea how you got there.



So yeah, if the baking moodShakespeares and you have some you are willing to part with we will pay.

Phuc 237,919 21
10/03/2006 09:11 AM

Millie's cookies are like brightly colored crack.



And Millie's crack is like a sweet, sweet cookie.

Chix Votes No Incumbents 286,539 61
10/03/2006 09:44 AM

THE LIST!! (So far)



Declan McManus

Lupience

ClintMcPants

Phuc

Trixxie

Hammerhead

High Priestess of Stewie

Jade-Queen of Mistakes

Mr Stabby

Straw

Filly

Harvard Chick

BlueLep

The Rockin' Donkey

Briham

Sharribarri

TTJ

Whistler P. McManus

BIG

Prof.Fantabulous

Jaggy

Kchiki

Dogs Akimbo

Spicey McHaggis

Pumpkin Noggin

>>>>>> Chickens <<<<<<<

Neep

Trae

Ditdah

dianada

Frogpop

dinesh maneyapanda

Big Boobs Mcgee

newwave

Larkknot

Millie

Mr. Slinky

UnderWhere?

csme

Taco Crunch

Dave's not here.

Humprey



Yes, that's right, after last year's self imposed sabbatical so I could instead focus on Aimless's needs, this year I'm tossing that fattass under the bus and will be participating in SS. Get excited people. One of you is getting one hella Jack Chick collection.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/03/2006 10:20 AM

BOB JOHNSON IS THE WORST SECRET SANTA EVER.

Millie 116,988 28
10/03/2006 03:05 PM

Don't worry, Aimless, your work organizing the SS thing ensures that you will get some cookies. I will have extras since I make about a ton of them every year (ask Daisypie).



As for Brad...what's HE gonna do for ME in return? Huh?

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/03/2006 05:43 PM

Fine. I'll let you sleep with him.

Just Sarah. 30,601 8
10/03/2006 05:51 PM

I've only been here mere months, but I like to give. (blahblah blowjob joke blah blah)



Can I sign up, if you'll have me?

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
10/03/2006 05:53 PM

<action>Elbows Sarah</action>

Click the link on top of GAB and email Aimless you silly tart.

Just Sarah. 30,601 8
10/03/2006 05:58 PM

I did! I want unanimous approval!

KChikita - Newly Motherless & Still Not Chi Chi 128,316 98
10/03/2006 06:05 PM

Who needs unanimous approval? Demand acceptance! Don't take Shakespeare off nobody! WERD!

Loopy pooping on Taco and Beebs' face 6,902 12
10/04/2006 01:48 PM

I e-mailed. I donated.







That is all.

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/04/2006 05:45 PM

Are you the one who e-mailed me with:



I want to buy and get a gift.



That is all.



p.s. give my name to millie



Becasue if you are then you are a retard and I am tempted to deny you on stupidity alone. Check your e-mail dumbass. </badsanta>

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/04/2006 05:47 PM

Was that too harsh? I'm sorry, I should have said, "Check your e-mail, retard".



There. I feel better now.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/04/2006 05:48 PM

I'm drawing a santa hat on all your pig faces.



Hope the GF doesn't mind buying a new monitor.

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/04/2006 05:49 PM

Silly Lesbo!

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/04/2006 05:57 PM

Trix are for kids!







(Which has a very different, very scary meaning on GAB.)

Oliver Chest; Esquire 203,475 12
10/04/2006 06:42 PM

I never got a reply, Aimless. Reply to me. I NEED A REPLY FROM YOU!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 07:00 PM

Dear Aimless,





There are 11 people on the list of those that have signed up that I wouldn't buy a gift for if it would get me all the whiskey in Ireland.



So if I get one of them as my victim, I will send them spoiled milk, a dead mouse, a used condom, and three strands of nose hair.

Oliver Chest; Esquire 203,475 12
10/04/2006 07:01 PM

<action>crosses his fingers</action>Oooh, I hope it's me I hope it's me!

Oliver Chest; Esquire 203,475 12
10/04/2006 07:01 PM

That was pretty hard to type with my fingers crossed.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 07:03 PM

Fine Ollie, I was going to get you something along these lines. But fine, be a dick.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 07:04 PM

Frost YOU FATASS. You made me type fine twice in the same post.

Oliver Chest; Esquire 203,475 12
10/04/2006 07:11 PM

What a cruel gift to get someone. Forcing me to sit through 16 games of torture. 144 innings of pain and suffereing. 3,888 outs of crying.



You truly are a sick bastard.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 07:13 PM

But I would send an albatross with them.

Oliver Chest; Esquire 203,475 12
10/04/2006 07:14 PM

Cooooooooooooooool.

Chix Votes No Incumbents 286,539 61
10/04/2006 07:48 PM

What flavor albatross?

Loopy pooping on Taco and Beebs' face 6,902 12
10/04/2006 07:49 PM

<action>cries</action>



I was just trying to be in the christmas spirit.





I'm so confused.

jeeniRoach, set-up artist (straight-woman) 47,787 51
10/04/2006 08:53 PM

<action>clutches her 16 inch cast iron frying pan in a threatening posture...</action>Come on people. You're making Loopy cry. Get in the Frost-ing Christmas spirit, god damn it.



Loopy, you stop crying and get in the Christmas spirit too, or I'll hit you as well.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 08:56 PM

Who the Frost are you?



Make it 12 people Aimless.

Oliver Chest Eats Baby Turds 203,475 12
10/04/2006 09:11 PM

I know the rules can be confusing. I mean, what the hell does all this mean?



~Your real name & Your Gab Name

~The address you want your gift sent

~If you DON'T want any overseas gabbers

~If you were stiffed last year please include that as well.



I JUST DON'T GET IT!!

jeeniRoach, set-up artist (straight-woman) 47,787 51
10/04/2006 09:24 PM

<action>still clutching cast iron pan, but now with a bag of angry bees attached to it.</action>Who the Frost are you?



Make it 12 people Aimless.



Hey, I'm not on that list for a reason, big guy.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 09:26 PM

Because you're a Jew?

jeeniRoach, set-up artist (straight-woman) 47,787 51
10/04/2006 09:27 PM

on account-a-jew, big.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 09:28 PM

You suck at GAB. Probably life, too.

jeeniRoach, set-up artist (straight-woman) 47,787 51
10/04/2006 09:29 PM

I stand by my original thought of gab.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 09:34 PM

Hahahaha, I stand by my original thought of you, two post down from your original post.

jeeniRoach, set-up artist (straight-woman) 47,787 51
10/04/2006 09:41 PM

Ohhhh... I get it.

Dave's not here. - don't steal my shit. 52,827 16
10/04/2006 09:44 PM

and your husband is still a tool.

jeeniRoach, set-up artist (straight-woman) 47,787 51
10/04/2006 09:46 PM

Dave, he says "hi!"

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/04/2006 09:52 PM

Hahahaha, jeeni's husband is flirting with Dave.







Fag.

Polo is not a shirt 4,634 12
10/04/2006 10:36 PM

My goals for this year:

1. Send Lupe the present I owe her from last year. (Can you e-mail me your address?)

B. Donate money to the fund for people who get stiffed.



I won't sign up, since I need to redeem myself for last year.. plus, I already have too many gabbers to buy presents for! What more do you want from me?!

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/05/2006 12:53 AM

How about a check?





And a horse.

Pumpkin Noggin-Soggy pumpkins make good pie 56,642 8
10/05/2006 10:02 AM

Here Froggie...best I could do.

Phuc 237,919 21
10/05/2006 10:38 AM

The Christmas spirit was brutally raped and stabbed to death by Secret Santa deadbeats and lazy-ass late muthaFrostaz. Do not mention the Christmas Spirit again.

Bankey 70,843 10
10/05/2006 10:41 AM

Sounds like SOMEONES got a case of the Mondays!





errr....



Thursdays.

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
10/05/2006 10:41 AM

The Christmas Spirit is dead?

I'd still hit it.

Pubah can't play long today 56,805 18
10/05/2006 10:55 AM

<action>Notices the negative self image reflected in her icon</action>



I'm sure you're feeling 'unpretty' now that you've sprouted that youngin...you are beautiful to me.

Now go get into a cat fight with Paris Hilton or something.

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/05/2006 01:00 PM

UPDATED LIST



Declan McManus

Lupience

ClintMcPants

Phuc

Trixxie

Hammerhead

High Priestess of Stewie

Jade-Queen of Mistakes

Mr Stabby

Straw

Filly

Harvard Chick

BlueLep

The Rockin' Donkey

Briham

Sharribarri

TTJ

Whistler P. McManus

BIG

Prof.Fantabulous

Jaggy

Kchiki

Dogs Akimbo

Spicey McHaggis

Pumpkin Noggin

Chickens

Neep

Trae

Ditdah

dianada

Frogpop

dinesh maneyapanda

Big Boobs Mcgee

newwave

larkknot/Succubus

Millie

Mr. Slinky

UnderWhere?

csme

Taco Crunch

Dave's not here.

Humprey

Livewire

Oliver

Aussie Sarah

Sarah

Chance

Loopy

Scorpion

Midgets

Thud





Considering the amount of people signed up there should be WAY more money in the SS fund. Please, if you signed up try to donate at least $5. For those of you that have already donated, I thank you, and the people who end up getting stiffed becasue their SS wasn't loved enough as a child thanks you.

Oliver Chest; Esquire 203,475 12
10/05/2006 01:01 PM

You can't force me to donate.

vote Ned Lamont on December 25th 14,124 11
10/05/2006 01:02 PM

I haven't donated yet, but will. By the way, do you take food stamps?

Crackherone 68,758 11
10/05/2006 01:04 PM

<action> is still wondering what happened to the titty plate</action>

So, apparently you have to pay to make a list these days.

Pubah can't play long today 56,805 18
10/05/2006 01:05 PM

<action>Puts a sock full of quarters in a can and throws it in the Missouri River</action>



How/Where do I send such funds?

Midgets 96,092 48
10/05/2006 01:17 PM

Yea, I made another list!!



Now I just need to brush up on the laws governing what bodily fluids can be shipped across state lines.

Pumpkin Noggin-Soggy pumpkins make good pie 56,642 8
10/05/2006 01:21 PM

Donate AND afford to buy the left sock off the "cup shaker" up the block to send</unstrike> a great present to send to my SS recipient? that'll stretch the ol' funds a might.

Pumpkin Noggin-Soggy pumpkins make good pie 56,642 8
10/05/2006 01:22 PM

FrostITY Frost Frost Frost



close strike =/strike not Frost-ing /unstrike



I hate computers.

Chances are you're not me. 171,275 14
10/05/2006 01:23 PM

<action> Points and laughs </action>

Scorpion 4,080 9
10/05/2006 03:12 PM

Yeah, whoever gets me, I'm going to ask you to wait until the new year to send my gift. That way I know I'll be in the right province when it arrives.



I'll remind you when we get out marks.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/05/2006 03:16 PM

Is that list only the people who are exchanging gifts? That's a lot of stiffin' potential.

ringworm 68,315 13
10/06/2006 02:52 AM

And a horse.



i tagged along w/ my host family to the fall fest at their oldest daughter's school (because alabama schools are fund-raising fools - something about people being to cheap to pay for them through taxes) this evening, and every one of the horses at the pony ride was a boy w/ a big old horse pecker swinging to and fro.



also, one of the horses farted. loudly. i was just as amused as the elementary school kid waiting in line.

Trojan Chuckie 3,467 8
10/20/2006 06:50 PM

Aimless - Please to be posting an updated list, so people can make sure they are listed if they want to be.

Gomez Declan McManus Addams 131,887 36
10/20/2006 07:02 PM

But maybe in a new thread?





Thanks again, dear Aimless.

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
10/23/2006 01:13 PM

A heads up to anyone shipping across the US/Canadian border:



DO NOT USE A COURIER COMPANY (like UPS, FEDEX, etc).



Since early this year, EVERYTHING shipped by courier, even if it was declared as Zero Value or as a Gift, has been subject to customs fees. I have been told by a friend who works in a customs brokerage firm that it has to do with new regulations; I don't really know the details, other than the anecdotal fact that I have been nailed by it several times already.



Use the US or Canadian postal services. Even if they do deliver via glacier riders.







...

Also, the private companies have more alert sniffer dogs.

Aimless Claus 54,807 10
10/23/2006 01:33 PM

If you are not on the list I need to know ASAP!! I will check e-mail one final time tomorrow morning so you have until then! There are a few of you that I still need addresses from so please get them to me ASAP!



Aussie Sarah

BIG

Big Boobs Mcgee

BlueLep

Briham

Captian Skippy -- NEED ADDRESS

Chance

Chi Chi

Chickens

csme

Daggy -- NEED ADDRESS

Dave's not here.

Declan McManus

DemoMonkey

dianada

dinesh

Ditdah

Dogs Akimbo

Filly

Frogpop

Hammerhead

High Priestess of Stewie

Humprey

Jade-Queen of Mistakes

Jaggy

Just Ducky

Kchiki

larkknot/Succubus

Livewire

Loopy

Lorenzo Duke

Lupience

Midgets

Millie

Mr Stabby

Mr. Slinky

Neep

newwave

Oliver

Phuc

Prof.Fantabulous

Pubah

Pumpkin Noggin

Robin

Sarah

Scorpion

Sharribarri

Spicey McHaggis

Stone Cold Bikini

Straw

Taco Crunch

The Rockin' Donkey ? In or out?

Thud

Trae

Trixxie

Trojan Doll

TTJ

UnderWhere?

Whistler -- NEED ADDRESS

Zaphod

Fortune Cookie 171,275 14
10/23/2006 01:41 PM

I might have a problem, Im moving December 1st. Is that a problem?

dinesh 24,862 16
10/23/2006 01:42 PM

Hi. Thanks for volunteering to run the SS program aimless, it can be thankless.



"Vote with your wallet" is my standard retort when people bitch about not liking a product or its rules and regulations.



If it is actually true that people specifically request who they will and won't get, well then it is time to take my own medicine. I am afraid I want no part of it - please to be removing my name.



Too bad, really, thus ends 4 or 5 years of tradition for me.



Happy holidays all.

Chickens running around with heads chopped off 286,539 61
10/23/2006 01:45 PM

Why do you mud people live in yur fureign countries anyway. You just muck up the works.



Who the Frost cares if you mail a sword internationally anyway?

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/23/2006 01:51 PM

Dinesh, have you been taking speech lessons from Trixxie? What the hell did you just say?

Chickens running around with heads chopped off 286,539 61
10/23/2006 01:56 PM

He's saying he's a quitter.

Scarecrow stuffed with straw and dead hooker hair 98,000 37
10/23/2006 01:56 PM

<action>'s lower lip wobbles.</action> Can't we have a do over? Just pretend that no sand got anywhere near anyone's vagina?

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/23/2006 01:58 PM

And allow me to be yet another person to thank Aimless for running Secret Santa. I think she does an awesome job of handling all this information, matching people up, keeping it organized, and dealing with all the bitching and whining. Thank you for the time and effort you put into it - you do deserve that icon.



Thanks!





Now, WHERE IS MY PRESENT?

dinesh 24,862 16
10/23/2006 02:00 PM

i thought i was pretty clear.



please take me off the list, i no longer want to participate in secret santa here.



i do not want to give even tacit approval to the group marginalization that just happened.

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
10/23/2006 02:02 PM

If it is actually true that people specifically request who they will and won't get, well then it is time to take my own medicine. I am afraid I want no part of it - please to be removing my name.



So you are so offended that people have names they don't want that you will choose not to have ALL the names?



Way to lead by irony.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/23/2006 02:04 PM

Well, I got that part. I just didn't understand the rest of it.



I'M SLOW!

Fortune Cookie 171,275 14
10/23/2006 02:07 PM

Aimless, let me be the first to apologize to you for all these requests youre getting for people to be my secret santa. I know its probably a hassle to go through them all, but really honey....can you blame them?

dinesh 24,862 16
10/23/2006 02:11 PM

I just didn't understand the rest of it.



vote with your wallet? it means, if you don't like it, don't just complain about it, don't buy it either. or in this case, don't participate.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/23/2006 02:13 PM

There are a whole hell of a lot of people on that list, many of whom gave no specific requests as to who they did/didn't get, including me. If you enjoy secret santa, why take yourself out of it just because some of the people on there did something you don't approve of?



Hell - Chix and Undies voted for Bush, but I still love them both dearly and would be proud to send them a giant box of rotten dog turds if I get their names for SS.

Sharri 14,124 11
10/23/2006 02:17 PM

Well I want to be taken off now too. I mean I had requested Dinesh so I could send him a plaster of paris boob sculpture, but sheesh, I guess he'll miss out.

duckyfresh 10,666 13
10/23/2006 02:17 PM

I signed up, sent an email but I did not make the list. I'll email again.

duckyfresh 10,666 13
10/23/2006 02:18 PM

Oh, whoops, learn to read, ducky. I see me.

Dave's not visible in the mirror 52,827 16
10/23/2006 02:20 PM

I'm cool with whoever I get, because my house really isn't big enough for all the worthless crap I have lying around so I have to give it to someone.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/23/2006 02:21 PM

What's with all the people needing a dress? Didn't Phuc say we shouldn't post what we wanted to receive?

dinesh 24,862 16
10/23/2006 02:24 PM

<i.If you enjoy secret santa, why take yourself out of it just because some of the people on there did something you don't approve of?



because my distaste for it is extremely high, and it makes me not want to participate any more.



i suppose i could have just gone quietly into the night, but i am way too conceited for that, i would much rather explain exactly why i am leaving (ss, not gab).

Leppy 12,056 12
10/23/2006 02:27 PM

I agree with my past SS running Compatriot. Asking to not have to give or be given by someone else is totally counter to the spirit of what SS is supposed to be about. Generosity et al.



Also, I want to add that if you have to ask your recipient what they want, through whatever means, you are a lazy and uncreative santa.

Dave's not visible in the mirror 52,827 16
10/23/2006 02:30 PM

<action>stands up</action>

Hi, my name is Dave and I'm a lazy and uncreative Santa.

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
10/23/2006 02:33 PM

How is excluding someone from a SS program any different than hounding them unrelentingly until they leave, a past time that is not only permitted but actively encouraged here.



We all are, fundamentally, cruel and Shakespearety human beings. Expecting the birth of one little messiah to change that is nave at best and delusional at worst.

dinesh 24,862 16
10/23/2006 02:36 PM

I mean I had requested Dinesh so I could send him a plaster of paris boob sculpture, but sheesh, I guess he'll miss out.



It's not a very strong principle if you won't give up a lot for it.











Frost.

Mozart Juice 0 6
10/23/2006 02:36 PM

I'm with Sharri and Dinesho so take my name off the list too.

dinesh 24,862 16
10/23/2006 02:37 PM

How is excluding someone from a SS program any different than hounding them unrelentingly until they leave, a past time that is not only permitted but actively encouraged here.



It's not, which is why I complain about that all the time, too. In fact, I believe I have said repeatedly that it is the worst thing about gab.



I do understand that very few people agree with me, but whatever, that's what I think.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/23/2006 02:39 PM

In the spirit of harmony and good cheer that is the essence of Christmas*, I'm willing to receive a present from everyone to make up for all those other selfish Emersons.



You're welcome.





* Not to mention wassailing

Leppy 12,056 12
10/23/2006 02:41 PM

How is excluding someone from a SS program any different than hounding them unrelentingly until they leave, a past time that is not only permitted but actively encouraged here.



I don't know what you're talking about, but I've obviously not been hanging around for a long time. Also, that's completely different Shakespearety behaviour from what Dinesh and I were talking about. I don't know if you're replying to him or me, though.



We all are, fundamentally, cruel and Shakespearety human beings.

Disagree



Expecting the birth of one little messiah to change that is nave at best and delusional at worst.



Agree. Still I like the idea of a secret santa when run in a friendly community manner.

Sharri 14,124 11
10/23/2006 02:42 PM

<action>channels old beer commercial</action>Wasssssssail!!!!!!??????

HammerHeadless Horseman 59,399 14
10/23/2006 02:43 PM

I only request victims because I have specific gifts in mind for them. I never make my requests who I will and won't participate with. And I'll not be upset if I don't get one of my requested victims.



Aimless, put Harvard's name back on that list. It's petty to exclude her because of an icon.



I am reminded of when I offered to do that Girl's of GAB calendar, and people got upset when I decided to exclude Trixxie on the basis that he was male. I was just thinking of that the other day, and I am willing to have another go at it (I still have all the images from the first time) and am willing to include Trix if people want it. I'll even come up with a few ideas for where the proceeds will go and let the masses vote on who gets the dough (charity, po' folks fund, next year's SS, etc.).



But please, remember, SS is all in fun. Let's keep it that way.

Mozart Juice 0 6
10/23/2006 02:44 PM

Oh what the hell. Take all of my usernames off the list.

























BlueLep

Briham

Captian Skippy

Chance

Chi Chi

Daggy

Dave's not here.

Declan McManus

DemoMonkey

Ditdah

Dogs Akimbo

Filly

High Priestess of Stewie

Humprey

Jade-Queen of Mistakes

Jaggy

larkknot/Succubus

Livewire

Loopy

Mr. Slinky

Neep

newwave

Sarah

Scorpion

Sharribarri

Stone Cold Bikini

Straw

Taco Crunch

The Rockin' Donkey

Thud

Trae

Trixxie

Trojan Doll

TTJ

UnderWhere?

Whistler

Zaphod

Mohamet al-Kadas Kaboom 211,584 32
10/23/2006 02:49 PM

Oh what the hell. Take all of my usernames off the list.





Mozart Juice, I posted with Dogs Akimbo, I knew Dogs Akimbo, Dogs Akimbo was a friend of mine. Mozart Juice, you are no Dogs Akimbo.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/23/2006 02:50 PM

That's right. You're not even a Sylvester.

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
10/23/2006 02:52 PM

This place breeds thick skinned cruelty and exalts the ability to show no pity or kindness. It is considered the highest honour for the majority to smack down anyone foolish enough to show a vulnerability or weakness. I may deplore that fact (and have said so before, to great indifference), but I'm not foolish enough to deny it.



It is not surprising that some people have conditions on how they participate in a gift exchange here.



The truly wondrous thing is that so many are willing to participate under ANY conditions.

Loop-o-lanturn 6,902 12
10/23/2006 02:54 PM

I just want a christmas presant. I don't care where it came from or where it's been. All I care about is where it's going. To my house.







I hope I didn't just request Ollie's dirty underwear or something.

Leppy 12,056 12
10/23/2006 02:55 PM

I know it's not my house anymore, but the SS was going here for years before I faded to black and never had any of those problems. And it was just as mean a place back then, perhaps more so, since noobs were so rare in those days.