<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 02:27 AM

My new time machine rocks!

REAPER-FU 12,363 11
10/17/2006 02:31 AM

If you notice all threads from the last couple of days are gone.



Either a server meltdown or somebody really pissed Phuc off.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 02:33 AM

I think it's the server because I saw the sock.

Dead Battery-The Razor In Your Apple 2,533 9
10/17/2006 02:34 AM

Possibly Phuc is a North Korean agent? THE WAR HAS BEGUN!

Cousin IT was a Midget 96,092 48
10/17/2006 02:37 AM

I think something so evil and unfathonable must have happened in Atlanta that the Gods have rewound the last few days, and it's pre Gablanta again.



It's is the only logical explanation.



What I wonder now, is if they want me to go on a killing spree to prevent it from happening?

I really have no problem with that, except I'm a little sleepy and have an appointment in the morning.



So if there's any killing to be done someone else will have to do it.





Or Reapers right, and Phuc's all liquored up and pissed on the server.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 02:54 AM

Hey Al,



Better tell Sanjay he Frosted up. Day light savings can not be added together and then taken off as days.

Plan Shemp From Outer Space 22,222 17
10/17/2006 04:33 AM

Thats odd.

Plan Shemp From Outer Space 22,222 17
10/17/2006 04:37 AM

Something weird is going on.



I have Orbs missing and my latest posts are from a few days ago.



My last 5 or more post are gone.



But most of all, Im missing Orbs, wonderful life-affirming Orbs!

Cousin IT was a Midget 96,092 48
10/17/2006 04:52 AM

Sorry to hear about your loss Shemp, I'll pray for you in your time of need.

Actually I'll just give you a couple clicks, it's easier that way.







Also, anyone else showing that the drug links have been clicked when they haven't been?

Matt Black 21 7
10/17/2006 05:20 AM

Haven't you seen Groundhog Day?



Gablanta is going to be repeated again and again until BlueLep learns to flick burning male strippers into a hat at the foot of Trae's bed.

Balloon Animal 0 0
10/17/2006 05:41 AM

I have Orbs missing and my latest posts are from a few days ago.



Same, click me, click me.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 06:45 AM

Frost! I spent 2 hours uploading all those photos from GABlanta last night, and they're all gone?!?



I'm gonna go cry in my coffee.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
10/17/2006 06:46 AM

Yeah, and all my wittiness last night is gone too.

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/17/2006 06:54 AM

I think this may have something to do with John sending Sanjay that gift basket from Omaha Steaks.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/17/2006 07:26 AM

Ditdah, my browser has remembered this url and I think it's your pictures. So they aren't gone even if the thread is. If that's not the right url someone else's browser history might have what you're looking for.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/17/2006 07:28 AM

Of course, my browser also found man ass, so you can't trust my browser.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 07:32 AM

Those aren't mine, but at least it's more entertainment for us.



As soon as I submitted my earlier post, I realized that ZUG's server burping wouldn't have anything to do with my photos - only the post was gone. (See? No coffee makes Ditdah a doofus.)



I put mine back up for capconning pleasure.

Captain Skippy with a parrot 41,253 13
10/17/2006 08:09 AM

Does anyone know what the heck happened?

Trae with a mask on 156,790 17
10/17/2006 08:19 AM

I'd love an explanation.....

Frogpop 173,153 25
10/17/2006 08:21 AM

But you'd love another stripper more.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 08:23 AM

It's not just the GABlanta threads. Everything from the last few days is gone. The server's had some hiccups the last few days, I'm guessing this is another one.



Some go kick it. That's the preferred way of fixing high tech equipment, right?

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/17/2006 08:33 AM

Hey, everybody! A plane has crashed into a New York City apartment building!

Crackherone 68,758 11
10/17/2006 09:03 AM

I demand my orbs back, or a link to the secret tits/vagina page.

Dianapop 57,835 109
10/17/2006 09:17 AM

Didn't you guys get the memo that said since the Day of Forgiveness worked so well, we were having a Weekend of Forgiveness?

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
10/17/2006 09:25 AM

So we're back to 4 days ago?

Cool! Because I think I might be able to attend GABlanta after all!

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/17/2006 09:27 AM

I have to go through all of that again? Damn.

Captain Skippy is not gay...I'm pretty sure 41,253 13
10/17/2006 09:35 AM

I have to go through all of that again? Damn.



Look on the bright side, when I get all the Gabbetts and Trae's friends together for the group flashing again I'll remember to find you and bankey, if you're not still having butt sex behind the truck.

McPants drinks because he's Swedish 19,555 11
10/17/2006 09:46 AM

Of course, my browser also found man ass, so you can't trust my browser.



Sweet, sweet man ass.. Rawr.

Crackherone 68,758 11
10/17/2006 09:50 AM

To recap the fat thread:



BIG is fat.

CG is fat.

Chance is fat.

Jade is really, really, fat.

Erika wants me.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
10/17/2006 09:51 AM

Does this mean I'm not banned from Six Flags anymore?

Bride of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/17/2006 09:52 AM

Excuse me, I'm phat....right? RIGHT!??

Crackherone 68,758 11
10/17/2006 09:52 AM

In all the right places, too.

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/17/2006 09:53 AM

I guess that makes me big-boned.





heh. boned.

Crackherone 68,758 11
10/17/2006 09:53 AM

In all the wrong places, too.

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/17/2006 09:54 AM

I'd love an explanation.....



And you know who to call.

Bride of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/17/2006 09:56 AM

GHOSTBUSTERS!

Crackherone 68,758 11
10/17/2006 09:58 AM

All I know, is that if I were Trix I would want those threads deleted. Now, if we could just figure out what kind of incriminating evidance he has over John....

Crackherone 68,758 11
10/17/2006 10:00 AM

Evidence.

Captain Skippy is not gay...I'm pretty sure 41,253 13
10/17/2006 11:02 AM

It looks like a database roll back to the 12th rather than threads being deleted because there is no hole in the thread ids that I can see and normally there is when threads are deleted.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/17/2006 11:04 AM

Skippy the hippie is RIGHT!!

BlueLep: Is Drunk At The Coffee Shop 13,144 10
10/17/2006 11:05 AM

Well Mr. I'm not gay, Where did all the orbs go?

BlueLep: Is Drunk At The Coffee Shop 13,144 10
10/17/2006 11:06 AM

Oh nevermind...

Plan Shemp From Outer Space 22,222 17
10/17/2006 12:17 PM

Are we ever gonna get our orbs back?



I was over 1000 clickies for the month and now Im back down under 950.



I think Im gonna have to take hostages.





Allah Akbar!

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/17/2006 12:19 PM

poop and such.

Dave's not here 52,827 16
10/17/2006 12:20 PM

I'm still #1 in my own mind. Also, I'm president.

The Noob Avenger! 6,067 8
10/17/2006 12:38 PM

Does this mean that Dave never hired the stripper and now I have a small chance of being accepted?



</stupid, obvious question>

The Noob Avenger! 6,067 8
10/17/2006 12:40 PM

Also, since I'm so amazingly unfunny, I didn't lose any clickies in this catastrophe.



I'll leave now.

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/17/2006 01:26 PM

I would pay money for the emails/chat logs of the Emersons who are trading conspiracy theories and ideas for how to "improve" GAB right now.



Fifty quatloos for the first! Twenty quatloos for all subsequent ones!

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
10/17/2006 02:16 PM

We are at war with Eastasia. We have always been at war with Eastasia. Eurasia has always been our ally.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/17/2006 07:26 PM

Also, I'm president.



I like your reality. Perhaps I shall visit it one day and roam the countryside greeting the locals as is my custom.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 08:00 PM

I would pay money for the emails/chat logs of the Emersons who are trading conspiracy theories and ideas for how to "improve" GAB right now.



Fifty quatloos for the first! Twenty quatloos for all subsequent ones!



I heard it was a member from the recently formed, NoOb Army.

Jade - Puttin' A Spell On You 14,453 11
10/17/2006 08:18 PM

The n00bs have an army? Since when?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:20 PM

The LEN.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:20 PM

Its been around for years.

KChikita - Running and screaming 128,316 98
10/17/2006 08:21 PM

BullShakespeare. There are no extraordinary Noobs.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:22 PM

But there are Evil noobs.

KChikita - Running and screaming 128,316 98
10/17/2006 08:23 PM

True.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:23 PM

Like you.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 08:33 PM

It is true, I was asked if I wanted to join.



The Gabbers name starts with H.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:34 PM

Hoofie Haccoon?

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 08:38 PM

Like most wars it involves a crown and a chemically imbalanced former ruler.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 09:02 PM

It's not a very secret army. About 7 n00bs have emailed me about it, making fun of it.



These are the good n00bs, that just want to be a part of the board, and we welcome them and love them and touch them between...



Oh - I went too far, didn't I?

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 09:17 PM

It's not a very secret army. About 7 n00bs have emailed me about it, making fun of it



Well then, tell us what you know, oh fishy one.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 09:21 PM

All I know is someone's trying to create one. I seriously have no details, other than a few people were asked to join.



I was too busy helping plan a drunk fest to worry about it or get information.

KChikita - Running and screaming 128,316 98
10/17/2006 09:23 PM

Like you.



Meh. I'm a mediocre noob at best. "Eterna-noob...doomed to mediocrity"

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 09:24 PM

But you have a nice rack, so it makes up for it.

KChikita - Running and screaming 128,316 98
10/17/2006 09:26 PM

<action>puffs out her smallish but perfect rack.</action>Why thank you!

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 09:26 PM

KChiki is as much of a n00b as I am.



Take that as you will.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 09:26 PM

Don't call her a loser.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 09:28 PM

Now, I'll never get naked photos from her.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 09:28 PM

Shaddup, tard.

KChikita - Running and screaming 128,316 98
10/17/2006 09:30 PM

I was going to link to something else, but then I ran across this.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 09:34 PM

Would the person or persons planning this army get banned from Zug?

Mr. Slinky - Already at the bottom of the stairs 28,185 10
10/17/2006 09:35 PM

Oh we could only hope. Who has this e-mail? I want the original forwarded to my e-mail.



I want to know information.





And poop.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/17/2006 09:36 PM

Ok Slinky, the person in charge of the Noob army is BIG.

Mr. Slinky - Already at the bottom of the stairs 28,185 10
10/17/2006 09:37 PM

BIG doesn't care enough to put something like that together.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 09:38 PM

If they're hot italian girls that like Fraggle Rock he does.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
10/17/2006 09:38 PM

Would the person or persons planning this army get banned from Zug?





Banned? No.



Tarred, feathered, and publicly sodomized by midget clowns? Probably.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 09:39 PM

I think the noob army had a meeting this past weekend in Atlanta.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
10/17/2006 09:39 PM

Haha, what a perfectly timed entrance.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/17/2006 09:39 PM

Speak of the devil...

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/18/2006 12:11 AM

Take me to your leader?





Ok, this is the person behind the weapons of mass discussion.



I'm only telling because I wasn't allowed to join and she wouldn't share the crown with me.

That which goes Thud in the night 68,497 19
10/18/2006 12:38 AM

Do like she did and buy the crown.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/18/2006 01:15 AM

What, like you did?



I see no crown.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/18/2006 08:00 AM

Okay, Kyliesboob, you are way too concerned about this.



A) A noob army? Seriously? Absolutely ridiculous. Anyone involved is just silly and you don't want to be associated with them.



B) Thud didn't buy a crown. He's trying to rent one and will rewarded for his patience. In fact, him not being a jackass about this says to me that he didn't do it for the crown and I respect him for being cool about the whole fiasco.

Balloon Animal 0 0
10/18/2006 08:02 AM

I joined, so does that make me silly?

Balloon Animal 0 0
10/18/2006 08:07 AM

Sorry, I thought that read Boob Army.



Kyliesboob, really?

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/18/2006 08:52 AM

Every year or so, some assclown thinks they can organize newcomers to ... to... nothing really. When it's been an organized group, it's been a fun little distraction and a few good people come out of it. The rest get bored and leave. When it's been one person who is upset that GAB isn't addressing their emotional problems, we end up with a Jilly or a Pram--someone who just gets repeatedly dumped on for their severe lack of clue.



No one has ever changed things here. They change on their own and they change all the time. Today's veterans are yesterday's Emerson n00bs. And when some vets realize that GAB is meant to expand and grow like my waistline and that it isn't going to stay just like it was in their heyday, they leave. Others stick it out through the ups and downs and are rewarded by being a part of one of the Web's older communities.



The best thing of all is that we've mostly been Jew-free for nine years.

Bride of Frankenfurter is in CHAT. 171,275 14
10/18/2006 09:03 AM

I would like the record to reflect that I have never been an Emerson no0b.



Almost jew free, dont forget CSME. I do however think we are terrorist free.

Nachos - Cynic 57,521 23
10/18/2006 09:05 AM

The best thing of all is that we've mostly been Jew-free for nine years.



Amongst others.



It's a little known fact that the board URL used to be zug.com/klan

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
10/18/2006 09:19 AM

Every year or so, some assclown thinks they can organize newcomers to ... to... nothing really.



I was Mr Assclown 2003. It was a good year, and bittersweet to give up the crown.



I got to keep the secret volcano base and the legions of Deathguard though. I rent them out for bar mitzvahs, childrens birthday parties, and covert regime changes.

Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
10/18/2006 09:20 AM

Dear Mr. Cracker, A: It was very cold. B: I was drunk. C: I'm a grower not a shower. D: I would be happy to provide you with a quite extensive list of references.

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/18/2006 09:39 AM

I do however think we are terrorist free.<action>ululates</action>

Senator Chickens in charge of investigations 286,539 61
10/18/2006 09:43 AM

Are you, or have you ever been a member of the nOOb army?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/18/2006 09:48 AM

This post would have been cooler if I had a personalized icon, too.



Frost-ing lazy chink.



Also, GABbers oraganizing something that doesn't include everyone...that's preposterous.

Dave's not here 52,827 16
10/18/2006 09:52 AM

I am an army of one.

Bride of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/18/2006 09:59 AM

I am an army of pun.

Cousin IT was a Midget 96,092 48
10/18/2006 10:29 AM

I've heard nothing of a n00b army. Does this mean noone loves me? Well Frost you, Frost you all.



I'm a member of the KISS Army and that makes me way cooler!





Doesn't it?

Nachos 57,521 23
10/18/2006 10:34 AM

I was Mr Assclown 2003. It was a good year, and bittersweet to give up the crown.



These things always seem to be set up for one (or more) or three reasons, one of which is the primary driver:



1. Comedic styling (LEN) - Brings comedy to the board. A good thing.



2. To create a social dynamic (ALOG) - Creates subconscious warm and fuzzies. Brings comedic opportunities. Harmless at worst, funny at best.



3. To attempt to wield power. To date the times this has happened seems mainly to been through 'click-cliques' and harrasment. Not funny. Detrimental to the social structure of the board. Waters down the ratings system. Usually populated by the terminally retarded, the incredibly lonely and new posters who get sucked in because they don't know any better.



Therefore, I'd only apply the term Assclown to people in the third group, unless, of course, you actually happen to put a wig, facepaint and a bright red nose onto your buttocks and hire yourself out for children's parties.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/18/2006 10:38 AM

Don't forget GVG and QTA! They go with ALOG.



And depending on who you ask, I'm a member of all 3 groups. SO, I now deem myself Queen. Give me stuff.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/18/2006 10:38 AM

Not herpes. Leppy already gave me that.

Mr. Slinky - Already at the bottom of the stairs 28,185 10
10/18/2006 10:39 AM

Really? We heard it was the other way around.

Leppy 12,056 12
10/18/2006 10:41 AM

What can I say? I'm a giver.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/18/2006 10:44 AM

That's good, Dit. It balances out my membership of the 4th group; arrogant Emersons who disdain social interaction on the ground that 'this is a comedy board'. Instead, they simply digest every post made on the board from afar, watch the social dynamics that ebb and floow, then form groundless theories and post them in a manner that attempts to look like they actually know what they're talking about.



Every single one of us cries themselves to sleep at night. Usually after masturbating whilst curled up in a fetal position.



So, you like stuff?

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/18/2006 10:45 AM

Therefore, I'd only apply the term Assclown to people in the third group



I stand corrected.<action>removes red rubber nose from betwixt buttocks</action>

Bride of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/18/2006 10:50 AM

I am a proud member of ALOG and an admirer of GVG. I sob for all the missed opportunities in QTA (specially Mavis...Mmmm Beacon its whats for dinner).

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/18/2006 10:51 AM

Every single one of us cries themselves to sleep at night. Usually after masturbating whilst curled up in a fetal position.



So, I'm in 4 groups now? SCHWEET!

Soylent Bankey 70,843 10
10/18/2006 10:52 AM

I've been the proud leader of Gabbers with the word 'Bankey' in their user name for years now.



We have tea and crumpets on Thursday afternoons.

Bankey-boo of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/18/2006 10:54 AM

I'll bring the sugar this week. One lump or two?

Balloon Animal 0 0
10/18/2006 10:55 AM

I'm the leader of the Boob Army, so send me your pictures now or else.

Soylent Bankey 70,843 10
10/18/2006 10:56 AM

I only have just the one buldge.



Wait what were talking about?

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/18/2006 10:56 AM

Everyone ready? 1...2...3...



FAG.

Bankey-boo of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/18/2006 10:58 AM

How is he a fag? I dont have a peni.....OH wait, nevermind.

Balloon Animal 0 0
10/18/2006 11:09 AM

So, has HC come out to explain herself yet?

Bankey-boo of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/18/2006 11:11 AM

Who the hell are you and why would you think anyone owes you an explanation?

Cousin IT was a Midget 96,092 48
10/18/2006 11:12 AM

<action>drapes bedsheet over computer ans staples it to the wall</action>



Since I'm not good enough to be part of a group I'm starting my own. The club house is done, and I have juice boxes and Hydrox.

I'm calling my club Super Best Friends Sad Lonely Guys Club I'll think of a name later.



If you want to join you have to be nice to me, and I'm going to be very selective about who gets in (you have to have boobs and/or a monkey).



I'll be accepting applications through Friday.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/18/2006 11:14 AM

Good. You can call it House of Slugs.

Balloon Animal 0 0
10/18/2006 11:15 AM

Your icon looks like it has PMS so I'll just ignore that question.

Cousin IT was a Midget 96,092 48
10/18/2006 11:19 AM

Frats jealous 'cus he doesn't have boobs or a monkey.

Bankey-boo of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/18/2006 11:23 AM

I know youre not talking to me. Dont make me call my henchmen.

Soylent Bankey 70,843 10
10/18/2006 11:24 AM

Frats jealous 'cus he doesn't have boobs or a monkey.



This has a lot more to do with the fact that he was such a big fan of 'BJ and the Bear' than anything icon related.

Trae with a mask on 156,790 17
10/18/2006 11:55 AM

Hey now! There is nothing wrong with BJ and the Bear!

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/18/2006 12:03 PM

You guys are old.



Full House! Cosby! Perfect Strangers!

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
10/18/2006 12:07 PM

Abbott and Costello! The Jack Benny Show! The Dumont Variety Hour!

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
10/18/2006 12:15 PM

Amos N Andy, The Green Hornet, The .....

You guys have the moving picture box? Not Fair.

m squared 2,881 7
10/18/2006 12:18 PM

Jeez. You have ONE crazy night of suicidal posts, and you don't get invited into any army.



Now I gotta have another night of those postings.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
10/18/2006 12:22 PM

Okay, Kyliesboob, you are way too concerned about this.



I made the whole thing up, so I'm not really all that concerned.



Sorry HC about telling fibs about you, well I'm sort of sorry.



This was attached to an email I found in my inbox today from HC warning me to STFU about her plans.

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/18/2006 03:17 PM

Has anyone ever actually seen kylie's boob?



Or the tumor?



Either one. I'm not picky.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/18/2006 03:18 PM

I Frost-ing HATE YOU ALL.