Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/17/2006 02:49 PM

It probably wasn't in my best interest to make that last post.

Sir Fires-A-Lot 70,843 10
10/17/2006 02:50 PM

Could you step back into my office for a moment? This should only take a minute.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
10/17/2006 02:52 PM

Hi Beater's boss! Here is our welcome page. Hope it lets you know a little more about us!

Soylent Bankey 70,843 10
10/17/2006 02:58 PM

Personally I don't think they have the balls to do anything about it.





THATS RIGHT! YOU HEARD ME BOSS MAN! YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALL SACK FOR IT!

Crackenstein 68,758 11
10/17/2006 03:00 PM

I hope they don't find the thread where beater comes out of the closet and professes his love for his boss.

Soylent Bankey 70,843 10
10/17/2006 03:00 PM

I mean otherwise he'd do something about the fact that Beater is plowing his old lady, right?

Al Jolson in Blackface 16,163 11
10/17/2006 03:01 PM

And for a follow-up reference I suggest you go here as well.

Crackenstein 68,758 11
10/17/2006 03:01 PM

Or get a threesome together?

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
10/17/2006 03:03 PM

Hey Mr. Beater's Boss, Beater said you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

Crackenstein 68,758 11
10/17/2006 03:04 PM

You think his boss is 5 orbing everyone?

DemoMonkey, leader of the MondeGreen Party. 166,252 10
10/17/2006 03:06 PM

He should be fine as long as they don't find his posts about the blacks and jews.

Crackenstein 68,758 11
10/17/2006 03:10 PM

They'll never find those threads if they type them in like that. Try Ogden Nashes and Kikes.

Snork: Payaso de la Muerte 45,655 12
10/17/2006 03:14 PM

Remember that time Beater posted a picture of his penis? And how he later photoshopped his boss's face into the picture and wrote "Suck it, Trebek!"?



Good times, good times.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
10/17/2006 03:15 PM

Anybody have a link to Beater's "I'm embezzling money from my job" thread?

Soylent Bankey 70,843 10
10/17/2006 03:17 PM

I think his posts detailing his deep personal knowledge of the intimate details of the Jon Benet Ramsey and Natalee Holloway cases would raise the most red flags.

Gomez Declan McManus Addams 131,887 36
10/17/2006 03:17 PM

We must remember the time he cleaned up those five crack whores and helped them to relocate.

Soylent Bankey 70,843 10
10/17/2006 03:18 PM

Pfth, yeah to his living room.

Would YOU Phuc Me? I'd Phuc Me. 237,919 21
10/17/2006 03:31 PM

Beater Al Qaeda #1!

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/17/2006 03:32 PM

I can't wait 'til his boss does come in and announces that beater's real name is Albert.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/17/2006 03:35 PM

Also, kudos to Albert on sticking those three links to the site into his first post.



If I ever forget the URL, I can just Google "www.zug.com AND Albert" and I'll find this page and be able to get back to the site.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
10/17/2006 03:37 PM

Real name? You mean, not everyone uses their real name on here?

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
10/17/2006 03:39 PM

JANICE!

Death Chickens from OUTER SPACE 286,539 61
10/17/2006 03:45 PM

We must remember the time he cleaned up those five crack whores and helped them to relocate.



and by cleaned up, you mean the blood in his car



and by relocate, you mean to the back yard where they're buried



right?

Gomez Declan McManus Addams 131,887 36
10/17/2006 04:04 PM

Yes, indeed, Chickens.





SO generous of you to give him your backyard!

Bride of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/17/2006 04:05 PM

I love me some bankey-boo.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/17/2006 04:08 PM

I would've thought that he would have used the cave.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
10/17/2006 04:11 PM

This is bad news. If Beater gets fired, how will he retrieve the data from the digital cameras he installed in the ladies' room at his office and post it on GAB every week, like he's been doing for the past six months?

Bride of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/17/2006 04:12 PM

If by "cave" you mean "vagina" then you are correct.



I dont know what I'm saying half the time, just nod and smile. Thanks.

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
10/17/2006 04:13 PM

I would've thought that he would have used the cave.

He wouldn't want them buried where he was living...

Well, maybe he would like that.

bestmusicexpert 780 7
10/17/2006 04:13 PM

This is bad news. If Beater gets fired, how will he retrieve the data from the digital cameras he installed in the ladies' room at his office and post it on GAB every week, like he's been doing for the past six months?



Don't forget the pictures from the Mens Executive Washroom,....





or am I the only one who will miss those?

I'm the Taconaut, Bitch! 61,976 36
10/17/2006 04:14 PM

Maybe they'll only look at the GAB main page. And maybe you'll win the lottery.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
10/17/2006 04:19 PM

Maybe they'll only look at the GAB main page.



Wishful thinking.

Management people may be "in charge", but deep inside, they like to look at boobies just like regular people. They will find the photo album, and in no time, they will be asking for more pictures of yours.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
10/17/2006 04:20 PM

(You could probably use that to get Beater's job.)

Dave's not here 52,827 16
10/17/2006 04:20 PM

Maybe they'll turn out to be pretty cool guys with an awesome sense of humor who will just laugh, give you a little Shakespeare over it and let you off with a warning to save the recreational web surfing for lunchbreaks and home.







But probably not, more likely you're Frosted.

Dead Battery-Wants Some Rum, Bitch 2,533 9
10/17/2006 04:23 PM

Tell them you'll burn the office down if you don't get your stapler back.

Death Chickens from OUTER SPACE 286,539 61
10/17/2006 04:34 PM

Don't forget the pictures from the Mens Executive Washroom,....





Yeah, especially that one suit with the short penis. Boy, did we ever laugh at him.

Scarecrow stuffed with straw and dead hooker hair 98,000 37
10/17/2006 04:41 PM

Even if they do only visit the main page, isn't that enough?

Gomez Declan McManus Addams 131,887 36
10/17/2006 04:43 PM

the one





You're generous, Chickens.





I only saw one that was "above average," and the effect was spoiled by the pink and lace.

Crackenstein 68,758 11
10/17/2006 04:44 PM

I don't know if Beater's boss is watching or not, but if he is I hope this helps Beater. He only showed us pics of your wife and him having sex once.

Death Chickens from OUTER SPACE 286,539 61
10/17/2006 04:53 PM

Course her ass to mouth service of ole Beat was sub par at best.

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
10/17/2006 04:56 PM

I was impressed with the variety of positions accomplished within the five minute length of the video.

At first I thought it was editing, but was later informed that it was all done in one continuous take.

Snork: Payaso de la Muerte 45,655 12
10/17/2006 04:59 PM

To be fair, he didn't really like it. "Old slut" and "like a hotdog in the Grand Canyon" were his exact words, I believe.

Al Jolson in Blackface 16,163 11
10/17/2006 05:07 PM

Man, that just makes me want to crawl up inside there and take a nap.

Chit 178,781 15
10/17/2006 06:31 PM

Wow, calling in sick and driving to GABlanta last Friday doesn't seem like a half bad idea anymore, does it ?

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
10/17/2006 07:10 PM

Albert hasn't posted since 2:49 this afternoon.



Anyone getting worried?









Me neither.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
10/17/2006 07:12 PM

Albert hasn't posted since 2:49 this afternoon.



Just wait until tomorrow morning. By then, he won't have posted since October 1st.

Millie 116,988 28
10/17/2006 07:18 PM

Well, I don't think it was wise of him to get right back on the internet after being called into the office for it.



Hey, Albert, Home Depot is usually hiring. They'll take anyone.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/17/2006 08:03 PM

Bankey, I love you today.



Beater's bosses, this is how we cordially indicate pleasure with one's general posting style. If you'd like to make an account here and share a few of the gems from your own experience I'd bet people would soon come to enjoy your presense and occassionally tell you they love you for the day as well.



In fact, if they really find your brand of humour to their liking they're liable to share with you naked pictures of themselves. Again, it's just good internet manners and you should not be alarmed.



If you're funny enough, Beater might even share his nudity with you as he has with the rest of us. Just to say "Hey, I like the cut of your jib," mind you.



Of course, there's a small chance I'm wrong and this place makes people behave in socially unacceptable ways in which case you'd do well to not click on any links or open any emails from anyone ever again for fear of seeing vericose vaginas and puss-filled penises.



Either way, welcome!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:06 PM

Heh, Roofie's Canadian is showing.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/17/2006 08:11 PM

Candian != vericose

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:14 PM

I was talking about spelling humor like a 4NR.





But you can send me pictures of your vagina...again.

Roofie Raccoon 56,688 10
10/17/2006 08:26 PM

But Canadian cooch is so polite you'll just make fun of it. Again.



I HATE YOU!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/17/2006 08:27 PM

I never made fun of your Canadian Bacon.





I don't know what I mean by that.

LitaFord 61 7
10/18/2006 02:48 AM

Give management a copy of the movie "Office Space."

Death Chickens from OUTER SPACE 286,539 61
10/18/2006 07:46 AM

Give management a copy of the movie "Fight Club".

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/18/2006 07:48 AM

I've never seen that movie, and since you people have repeatedly ruined the ending for me, I don't know if I ever will.



You also ruined the ending of "The Usual Suspects" for me.



You all suck.

Dapinklady - Bring back the Hippies! 461 7
10/18/2006 07:55 AM

Well if management enjoyed watching this and this they might also enjoy watching and dancing to this

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/18/2006 10:16 AM

THATS RIGHT! YOU HEARD ME BOSS MAN! YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALL SACK FOR IT!



I would hope she doesn't. I'm not fired yet. I'm still waiting.

Leppy 12,056 12
10/18/2006 10:18 AM

Make sure you check out plenty of hand lotion commercials.

Pramoweenie 80,728 42
10/18/2006 11:37 AM

If she threatens to fire you Beater, just offer to suck her dick.

zombiemusicexpert 780 7
10/18/2006 12:39 PM

Well if management enjoyed watching this and this they might also enjoy watching and dancing to this



I really have to stop clicking links around here (especially at work)



That last one was hypnotizing though!

Jihad Joe 6,067 8
10/18/2006 12:43 PM

That last one was hypnotizing though!











Fag.

Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
10/18/2006 01:00 PM

Beater, I hope things work out for you.

zombiemusicexpert 780 7
10/18/2006 01:23 PM

That last one was hypnotizing though!











Fag.





your point?









Seriously though, YOU look at that and try not to at least get dizzy

Jihad Joe: The REAL Arabian Hero 6,067 8
10/18/2006 01:24 PM

Or I could not look at it.

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
10/18/2006 01:27 PM

Seriously though, YOU look at that and try not to at least get dizzy

How long did you watch that?

Fag.

Pubah, Maha Magnet since 2003 56,805 18
10/18/2006 01:29 PM

Don't worry, Meat Beater



There are computers at the library and the Post Office is ALWAYS hiring.



You'll be alright.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/18/2006 01:34 PM

Beater, I hope things work out for you.



Thank you, madam. I hope to one day work myself out for you, if you catch my obvious sexual reference.

Pubah, Maha Magnet since 2003 56,805 18
10/18/2006 01:41 PM

If you think Pubah is a female, maybe you should lick it's clitoris...if you can find it.

Pubah, Maha Magnet since 2003 56,805 18
10/18/2006 01:42 PM

Oh, Trixxie, you have another suiter.



He's bonified!

zombiemusicexpert 780 7
10/18/2006 02:14 PM

Seriously though, YOU look at that and try not to at least get dizzy



How long did you watch that?



Fag.





There is a counter that was counting the spins and when I looked last it had an infinity symbol, why do you ask?







oh

zombiemusicexpert 780 7
10/19/2006 09:20 AM

UPDATE US MEAT!



(some of us are unemployed and want full info on job openings, not me, but I was trying to help Pram and his worthless exshistance)

Mr. Slinky - Already at the bottom of the stairs 28,185 10
10/19/2006 09:31 AM

What's an exshistance?

zombiemusicexpert 780 7
10/19/2006 09:36 AM

Ah yes, exshistance



I believe Websters says:



Exshistance: (noun) A moron who types way too goddamn fast to spell correctly on the internet.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/19/2006 10:00 AM

So, she checked out the site, and liked it for the most part...



























Except the part with the racism, innuendo, feti jokes, and the like.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/19/2006 10:01 AM

I have not been fired. I have been warned. I shan't heed it.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/19/2006 10:08 AM

You boss is a bit of a Carroll. You are just wasting some work time doing personal things. Its not like you are transferring money from the company account into your personal account like Bob in accounting is.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/19/2006 10:16 AM

That's what I said, but the stupid Ogden Nash doesn't know how to prioritize her problems. I hope she get's lynched. God I hope she's not still here.

Al Jolson in Blackface 16,163 11
10/19/2006 10:17 AM

Or having sex with Janet in HR on top of your supervisor's desk.









And if you are, could you please post some pictures?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/19/2006 10:17 AM

FAT DAUGHTER.





Black people don't have jobs.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/19/2006 10:19 AM

Been there, done that, but her name was lisa, and she was someone else's secretary. Her husband found out. We fought in the parking lot. They took me to the police station, and him to the hospital. They let me go. He is still in prison on an unrelated offense. So, don't Shakespeare where you eat, unless you like to eat food mixed with Shakespeare.

Wonder Trixxie 65,026 15
10/19/2006 10:19 AM

You should heed Beater, she is obviously having your internet monitored. Just do it on your lunch break. Peace, Love and Joy, Trix.

Beater of the Meat 10,702 8
10/19/2006 10:19 AM

BIG, I think that might be your Funniest.Post.EVAR!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
10/19/2006 10:21 AM

Wow, this just got awkward.

Beater: Already Wearing His Mask 10,702 8
10/23/2006 02:34 PM

So, an update. They are not firing me, because, surprise, "We are under-staffed at this time, but we really need you to pull through here, and stay off of the internet during company hours."



Damn right they're under staffed. Every last one of them needs to get laid.



I could help.