Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 04:19 AM

At The Rave Inn - Originally titled "Bask".



If selling out to the mainstream and sucking corporate Coleridge knots was an art form, then this song would have its own genre! Not only is the singing off-key, but the guitar solo is not following any sort of modern sound, looking instead to VOltron's theme song for inspiration.

See also: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's opening credits. Ouch... Oh well, it's time to set the record straight, and that record, in this case, is not only broken, but welded back together.



Sucked Me Dry -



"Hi, I just discovered audio equalizers, and in honor of this great event, I will crank the highs until you can't hear what key the song is in, if any."



Although there is a bass line in this song, it is virtually indistinguishable from anything in the Taj Mahal's Greatest Hits catalog, and the screamo chorus sounds like it's being yelled into a washing machine in a subway.



The lyrical choices are also very tender, ranging from "you never answered my IM's, you bitch' to "you never answered my wedding proposal. You bitch."



Borrowing a line from Phuc, the song is over-earnest, and not funny. This appears to be the only criteria upon which I could be graded, so I get an F. I don't even want to know what the F stands for. Probably "FM", but "fugly" would be more likely. How can music, a purely aural experience of the ear canal be FUGLY? Read on.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 04:22 AM

Rich, White Girls - This song should be called, "my drums are bashy and cheap sounding. Holy whooperwilling Shakespeare cum, it was bad enough that I used a drum machine to make the rhythms, (again, all a matter of perspective; is this even music?) and started using the dance kits because they were easier to program. Read: I was turning into a dance-music bouquet of suck.



Further reviews of my god awful ear rape will be available upon request.

Mr Stabby 512 7
11/07/2006 04:27 AM

Shut the Frost up

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 04:28 AM

Stabby - Lurking for a couple of years, this isn't my first account.



Illegal. Arrest this man!

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 04:29 AM

<action> Go-Go Idget, UN-italicize!</action>

Tweak 18,881 12
11/07/2006 04:32 AM

Wow. Three consecutive long-winded posts with no jokes or interesting content. We may have just hit a new low.

Tweak 18,881 12
11/07/2006 04:34 AM

Also, Stabby can be funny, doesn't post too much, generally stays below the radar, can take a joke, and is more than just a hate-rake. He's a favorite around here compared to you.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 04:43 AM

That's why you're supposed to read the lines, not between them.

Tweak 18,881 12
11/07/2006 04:46 AM

But the blank white space between the lines is funnier than you.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 04:52 AM

Wow, a scathing review from a humorless invalid. I certainly didn't see that coming...



Go "learn" at university, beer boy.

Tweak 18,881 12
11/07/2006 05:02 AM

Which part of that was supposed to be an insult?

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 05:04 AM

You're nothing. You have no passion in life, you need to die of alchohol poisoning.



Better?

SquidBoy 19,912 12
11/07/2006 05:10 AM

Before you chew my ass out for making this thread, I felt it was neccessary to illustrate....



See, now that's where you went wrong.



You could have just admitted that you do, in fact, suck at life/music/whattheFrostever and called it a day.



There was no need to play out the Siskel and Ebert routine just so you could shove two thumbs up your ass.



But hey... at least you're starting to get a grip on reality.



However, no funny = no orbs. I don't pity orb.

Mr Stabby 512 7
11/07/2006 05:11 AM

I suck ass and need to sit down, shut the Frost up, and stop rocking back and forth like I'm on fire.



ETA?

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 05:14 AM

There was no need to play out the Siskel and Ebert routine just so you could shove two thumbs up your ass.



Don't you mean down my ass?

SquidBoy 19,912 12
11/07/2006 05:21 AM

Siskel and Ebert were as good at reviewing movies as you were at reviewing your music.



So, no... I stand by my previous statement.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
11/07/2006 05:23 AM

I have a request Pram.





























Write a song for me please.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 05:29 AM

Why, so you can make fun of it?



Deal.



IM me and I'll see what I can do.

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
11/07/2006 05:44 AM

No



Email me your msn or Yahoo chat name.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 05:48 AM

I cnt fnd the frst thng you said. It's gone msn.

Phuc 237,919 21
11/07/2006 06:51 AM

Someone's pity-clicking Pram.



Either that, or he's got a stalker.

bestmusicexpert 780 7
11/07/2006 06:55 AM

yep, everyone on here has bitched about him yet he has been orbed as if he collectively flashed us every great pair of tits in the world.... what gives?

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 57,521 23
11/07/2006 07:10 AM

I've clicked him ocassionally.



You say something funny, it gets orbed. Them's the rules.

SquidBoy 19,912 12
11/07/2006 07:12 AM

I noticed that earlier. Each of his posts in this thread magically got a 4-orb click in a matter of minutes.



Coincidentally, "lurking object" was actively reading the board at the time.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
11/07/2006 07:14 AM

See Al?





Maybe next time you'll WAIT until the end of the year before awarding the worst thread of 2006.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 07:25 AM

Hey, shaddap! I bashed the snot out of my own music. I've never done that before. You're witnessing history today.

Tweak 18,881 12
11/07/2006 07:29 AM

To be completely honest...





























































I didn't read most of it.

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/07/2006 07:39 AM

<action>steps up to the mic, taps on it, clears throat</action> Hi, um, my name is Ditdah, and I, well, I orbed Pram.





His "reading the lines" comment made me laugh, so I orbed him.



I didn't read his rambling about his music, though, because it doesn't appear to be funny, there are no links for us to see or hear what he's talking about, and he just likes to hear himself talk.



But hey - you throw enough Shakespeare, some of it's bound to stick.

Snorky 45,655 12
11/07/2006 07:42 AM

Hey, shaddap! I bashed the snot out of my own music. I've never done that before. You're witnessing history today.



And...? Do you want a cookie or something?

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 07:42 AM

<action> rushes the stage and knock's Dit's mic into her face </action>



and he just likes to hear himself talk.



Yeah, because I totally read my posts out loud as I type them.

Tweak 18,881 12
11/07/2006 07:49 AM

I do that sometimes. I heard that talking to yourself stops you from going crazy.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 07:53 AM

<action> looks around </action>



Who said that

Jaggy - I see Threstrals 11,895 13
11/07/2006 07:55 AM

Also, Stabby can be funny, doesn't post too much, generally stays below the radar, can take a joke, and is more than just a hate-rake. He's a favorite around here compared to you.



Also, he's getting laid. By a girl. You're not.

Tweak 18,881 12
11/07/2006 08:16 AM

<action>sobs.</action>There's no need to rub it in.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/07/2006 08:17 AM

Who was that intended for, Jaggy?

Frogpop 173,153 25
11/07/2006 08:24 AM

Every man, woman, and child on the board.

Snorky 45,655 12
11/07/2006 08:39 AM

Shut up, you.

Scoobynoob 2,160 6
11/07/2006 08:41 AM

You lost me at "hello."

Jaggy - I see Threstrals 11,895 13
11/07/2006 09:37 AM

Sorry Tweak, I meant that for Pram.



But yes, even I am getting more sex than most GABbers.

DemonMonkey, a man, of wealth, and taste. 166,252 10
11/07/2006 10:02 AM

Well, "Frost you, I'm being humble!" does have the virtue of being a novel approach, at least.

Pumpkin Noggin-Cranberry Chutney, Who wants some? 56,642 8
11/07/2006 10:28 AM

I had to give him an orb for this line:

screamo chorus sounds like it's being yelled into a washing machine in a subway.



That just summed it up so nicely for a LOT of bad music.

That filthy Iowan Aimless 54,807 10
11/07/2006 10:34 AM

I clicked Pram, his ramblings made me chuckle.

Midgets, ask me about my special stuffing! 96,092 48
11/07/2006 10:36 AM

I was a flaming faggot to the eye of any beholder, It's no wonder she wished to stop beholding me.



That was worth a click.



But only that.

Dave's not thanking anyone, I earned my shit. 52,827 16
11/07/2006 12:30 PM

<action>goes to backhand Pram, decides not to</action>



Ya know, I'm bored with slappin you around.





Bores me.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/08/2006 12:22 AM

<action> flags down the hooker, reaches into his pocket for his wallet </action>But yes, even I am getting more sex than most GABbers.



How much?

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
11/08/2006 12:42 AM

Where's my song bitch?

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
11/08/2006 12:43 AM

Normally it's $20.00 but for you, it's going to be much, much more expensive.

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/08/2006 01:35 AM

I couldn't get it up (on Myspace, you perv), and I think it would piss GAB off if I posted the link here, so here's the link:

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/08/2006 01:56 AM

Those better not have been pity orbs...

<i><i></i></i> 923 0
11/08/2006 02:31 AM

Fig Jam

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/08/2006 03:39 AM

Fig Jam?

BestMusicTurkey 780 7
11/08/2006 12:28 PM

Hi, um, my name is Ditdah, and I, well, I orbed Pram.



I actually orb anyone who makes me laugh. INCLUDING PRAM! I was just saying that since everyone bitched about how unfunny it was, i did not see how he got orbs. thats all...

Pumpkin Noggin-Cranberry Chutney comming soon 56,642 8
11/08/2006 12:43 PM

Unfortunatly, it's to easy to laugh at Pram.

Sage of Seattle (Salaciously Sacrilicious) 36,465 8
11/08/2006 12:54 PM

Frost, I'm Good! Just Ask Me!



You know Pram, I'd say "Google is your friend", though I doubt even Google would admit to that...

syncope 49,019 14
11/08/2006 01:37 PM

Finally a thread to silence all the critics who say Pram is an attention-starved self important megalomaniac of marginal talent and ability.

That's Miss Trixxie to You 65,026 15
11/08/2006 01:41 PM

I am getting tired of the Pram bashing it's just not funny. Even if he is the biggest attention whore since, well since me

































and Trae

















































combined.





































We did/do it with a lot more style though

Sarah only eats mashed potatos on Turkey Day 30,601 8
11/08/2006 01:42 PM

"you never answered my IM's, you bitch'



I find that pretty chuckleworthy.

Pumpkin Noggin-Cranberry Chutney comming soon 56,642 8
11/08/2006 01:42 PM

OK..who broke the Bold?

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/09/2006 11:23 AM

You know Pram, I'd say "Google is your friend", though I doubt even Google would admit to that...





Oh yeah? Well, I'd say that all the female Gabbers are your friends, because who would want to be more than that with a guy who looks like he skins his dates and eats them?

Jesus, Pram... 80,728 42
11/09/2006 11:24 AM

On the other hand, that was pretty good, Frostlegs.

Darth Juansidious 7,400 0
11/09/2006 03:58 PM

I clicked Pram, because he was funny.



And Pram... Although most of the other stuff I've heard by you was a barrage of unmitigated crap, this song Sucked Me Dry is pretty good so far, sounds like NIN...



HOLY CRAP I JUST HIT THE CHORUS THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SCREAMO BAND GOING THROUGH A WOOD CHIPPER

Pram Angel 80,728 42
11/10/2006 11:07 AM

I don't care, as long as the screamer dies.





Oh, Shakespeare...I really am emo.



























































NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Chief Sitting Joe: The REAL Native American Hero 6,067 8
11/10/2006 11:28 AM

Sucked Me Dry



I think I know why some people clicked it.

Pram Angel 80,728 42
11/10/2006 11:49 AM

That wasn't a pun either, Joe. I really was cumming air for weeks afterwards.

Pram Angel 80,728 42
11/10/2006 01:11 PM

It was pretty serious, I almost used up the supply in my head.