Dave's not thanking anyone, I earned my shit. 52,827 16
11/07/2006 01:20 PM

The days of computer viruses crashing more than your OS are just beginning.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
11/07/2006 01:24 PM

I think I speak for everyone who likes to masturbate while parking when I say that this is a pretty useful feature.

Trae Tastes Like Turkey 156,790 17
11/07/2006 01:26 PM

While parking or when parked?

Chief Sitting Joe: The REAL Native American Hero 6,067 8
11/07/2006 01:27 PM

The days of computer viruses crashing more than your OS are just beginning.



That is until the UNIX car comes out.

Trae Tastes Like Turkey 156,790 17
11/07/2006 01:27 PM

I ask this for no particular reason...

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
11/07/2006 01:27 PM

A little from column A, a little from column B.

Trae Tastes Like Turkey 156,790 17
11/07/2006 01:29 PM

010101010101010101

00000

11



010101010101010110

Pumpkin Noggin-Cranberry Chutney, Who wants some? 56,642 8
11/07/2006 01:30 PM

Silly Alien....masterbation is for DRIVING... Blowjobs are for parking. It's all in how you work the stick.

TheZog 412 9
11/07/2006 01:48 PM

Fully autonomous cars: Contributing to higher teen pregnancy everywhere.

Hello! Nice Zolton! Thank you! 88,200 34
11/07/2006 02:04 PM

A little from column A, a little from column B.



Man, Trafalmadorean anatomy is freaky.

That filthy Iowan Aimless 54,807 10
11/07/2006 02:13 PM

Why do they not make a car whose wheels turn a full 90 degrees so you can center yourself with the spot, turn the wheels 90 and drive in?

Pumpkin Noggin-Cranberry Chutney, Who wants some? 56,642 8
11/07/2006 02:26 PM

I can't find the video of it, but there has been one of those made.

Think it was a Citron or some such Euro trash auto back in the late 60s.

Sy the sleighbell guy 6,547 10
11/07/2006 10:04 PM

to quote Mojo Nixon:



"how big a Poe do you have to be to buy a car that parks itself?!? It's not that Frost-ing hard, people! Learn to park; just how short is your dick, anyway?"

Millie 116,988 28
11/07/2006 10:10 PM

Frost Mojo Nixon. I could beat any of you in a parallel parking contest!

Millie 116,988 28
11/07/2006 10:17 PM

This Parker was kind of bad.

Sy the sleighbell guy 6,547 10
11/07/2006 10:18 PM

I think not, Millie, but I lurve yew anyways!

Millie 116,988 28
11/07/2006 10:21 PM

You couldn't beat me, old man.



I lived in a neighborhood for ten years where, if you didn't have parallel parking skills, you had nowhere to put your car.



I could get my car into a space that only had inches to spare.



I even had a group of people applaud me one night when I inched into a space without touching the bumpers of the other two cars.



What would a Texan know of parallel parking? Anyone from a Northeast city gets a lot of practice.

Millie 116,988 28
11/07/2006 10:24 PM

By the way, I love the way men think that women are crappy drivers. Someone better tell the insurance companies that.

BobJohnson Akimbo 211,584 32
11/07/2006 11:17 PM

Why do they not make a car whose wheels turn a full 90 degrees so you can center yourself with the spot, turn the wheels 90 and drive in?



That's right, that's right. And I want neon lights in my wheelwells, too.

Yorkie Thompson in the Return of the Toe Vagina. 60,724 12
11/07/2006 11:19 PM

According to recent studies, women have overtaken men in the amount of accidents caused.





My conclusion: Millie is not a woman, and I need a shower.

TK in the Straw 98,000 37
11/07/2006 11:22 PM

This reminds me of a recent exchange in a Gene Weingarten chat:



Washington, D.C.: You may now be the world's greatest parallel parker but when I lived in the city proper a few years back and was well-practiced, I was once applauded by passers-by after pulling my 1983 Civic cleanly into a spot only inches longer than the car itself.



Gene Weingarten: You, sir, are a rank amateur. A poseur. A child. And I am not even comparing you to myself, a comparison you would lose. I am referring to one Bernard Crane, who was the subject of a column of mine a few years back. Liz, can we link?



washingtonpost.com: Below the Beltway (Nov. 11, 2002)

Sy the sleighbell guy 6,547 10
11/08/2006 06:49 PM

Well, Millie, let me tell you what THIS Texan knows of parallel parking. I learned to drive working in my Dad's service station. It was my job to drive the cars from the parking lot to either the lube bay or the wash bay.



You might be wondering where the challange is, so let me explain. We had (4) count 'em, (4) parking spaces. At any given time, there would be up to (12) cars parked in those (4) spaces.



Add to this the fact that I was only 12 when I started doing this, and did it until 17.

Sy the sleighbell guy 6,547 10
11/08/2006 06:49 PM

So, there!

ringworm 68,315 13
11/09/2006 12:41 AM

I can't find the video of it, but there has been one of those made.

Think it was a Citron or some such Euro trash auto back in the late 60s.



i saw something once (grainy black and white film - guessing 50s) which i also can not find the video for, but this pretty much covers the gist of it.

Leppy 12,056 12
11/09/2006 09:00 AM

women have always cause a higher incidence of accidence per capita. Men incur a significantly higher cost, though. When we hit Shakespeare, we mean it.

TK in the Straw 98,000 37
11/09/2006 09:16 AM

I hardly ever need to parallel park, so that car is worthless to me.



On the other hand, I don't know how many times I've wished I could relax in a hot tub while driving.

Pumpkin Noggin-Cranberry Chutney comming soon 56,642 8
11/09/2006 10:16 AM

Yeah, ring, that's the thing.