Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
11/27/2006 03:57 PM

Ask if they won't mind skinning it and turning it into a purse for you when they're done.

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,453 11
11/27/2006 03:58 PM

Jaggy, I'm really sorry to hear that. Poor kitty.

Snork-sensei 45,655 12
11/27/2006 04:00 PM

I guess coming to Gab is not a good start.

Chit 178,781 15
11/27/2006 04:00 PM

Angora Sweater w/kitty hair.

Crackalaka!! with a mistletoe belt buckle 68,758 11
11/27/2006 04:02 PM

Anything wildy inappropriate I should say to them?



"Since you're killing him anyway, he swallowed three balloons of my heroin. Any chance you could get those bad boys back for me?"

Chit 178,781 15
11/27/2006 04:04 PM

I'm waiting for the vet to arrive to put him down.





It's true that cats have nine lives, but a microwave oven seems to zap all nine of them at one time.

Fratberry 283,018 53
11/27/2006 04:04 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. Do you need a replacement or six?

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/27/2006 04:06 PM

I would love a kitten, Frat, but my parents are into birds now, and aren't replacing these guys. My boyfriend is saving for a deposit on a house though, I think I'l buy him a kitten when he has it.

Chest, Oliver Chest 203,475 12
11/27/2006 04:08 PM

Answer the door in something sexy and slutty. When you open the door say "Are you the men that have come over to help put my Poe to sleep?" And say it all slutty.



Then have sex with them.

Happy Strawlidays 98,000 37
11/27/2006 04:09 PM

I'm waiting for the vet to arrive to put him down.



Insulting the poor cat isn't going to make him feel better.



</lame pun>

Sage of Seattle (Facetiously Festive) 36,465 8
11/27/2006 04:11 PM

Similar thing happened to my cat. My cat was around fourteen years old when she was diagnosed with stomach cancer. She couldn't eat or anything and was slowly starving to death.



The last day really sucked.

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/27/2006 04:15 PM

I think Griffens is dehydrated. He drinks and drinks, and it doesn't make a difference. His eyes are all sunk back.

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 57,521 23
11/27/2006 04:15 PM

Let them in to do their job then afterwards ask them "So how long until he wakes up? Will he be better then?"



Keep up the act until they've forced to explain what euthanasia actually is in one-word syllables. Then sue them for killing your cat.

Tucker Jolson 16,163 11
11/27/2006 04:15 PM

You could toss him in a bag and walk around smacking stuff with him to elicit a muffled "mreow".

Tucker Jolson 16,163 11
11/27/2006 04:16 PM

Think about it, you wouldn't even have to spend the money having the vet put him down.

Its A Wonderful Sarah. 30,601 8
11/27/2006 04:18 PM

I find the slow, painful death of an animal hardly amusing.



You people make me sick.

Snork-sensei 45,655 12
11/27/2006 04:19 PM

Sick like a sick dying cat?

Its A Wonderful Sarah. 30,601 8
11/27/2006 04:20 PM

Yes.

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 57,521 23
11/27/2006 04:21 PM

That's the first time I've ever seen anyone get 'sick' and 'aroused' mixed up.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/27/2006 04:23 PM

but my parents are into birds now



How about that, small world, so is Skippy's ex...oh, wait..you mean AVIANS, not "Byrds" sorry.







As to the what to say to the vet about the cat (shocked you have a vet willing to make a house call over a dying cat)...



"Got any good reciepies? And what sort of wine is best with cat?"













Sorry to hear of your loss. (And even MORE sorry to hear of my loss of sanity and funny (not that I had much of either prior to this))

Tucker Jolson 16,163 11
11/27/2006 04:24 PM

That's the first time I've ever seen anyone get 'sick' and 'aroused' mixed up.



How about arousick?

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/27/2006 04:26 PM

Doesn't have the same ring to it as Aroungy

Its A Wonderful Sarah. 30,601 8
11/27/2006 04:28 PM

How about arousick?



"Last Saturday I had sex while I had the flu. I couldn't help it, I was arousick!"



True story!

Jolly Ol' Saint Joe- The REAL North Pole Hero 6,067 8
11/27/2006 04:29 PM

Put on a crazy face. Grab their syringe and brandiShakespeare at them, swearing up and down you will protect that cat until your dying day.

Chit 178,781 15
11/27/2006 04:30 PM

"I'm lying in bed..."







Come to think of it...I've done most of my best lying there too !

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/27/2006 04:30 PM

(shocked you have a vet willing to make a house call over a dying cat)...



We have a vet that does that, incase it's easier on the family and/or animal being put to sleep. Of course, in our case, it's because Dad doesn't want to take time off work and drive him to the vet.

Erika Le' Vaginae 76,152 9
11/27/2006 04:30 PM

Doesn't have the same ring to it as Aroungy





And neither sound as good as aroungry.

Captain Skippy, sweet as candy 41,253 13
11/27/2006 04:30 PM

I wouldn't pass up sex if I were sick either.

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 57,521 23
11/27/2006 04:31 PM

Does it go something along the lines of "This doesn't usually happpen to me!"?

Captain Skippy, sweet as candy 41,253 13
11/27/2006 04:32 PM

(shocked you have a vet willing to make a house call over a dying cat)...



our vet does that. he also bears a striking resemblance to Doctor Hibbert from the Simpsons.

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 57,521 23
11/27/2006 04:32 PM

So is Gab 7.0 going to alert you if a load of simul-posts occur before you can make your damn comment?

Crackalaka!! with a mistletoe belt buckle 68,758 11
11/27/2006 04:36 PM

You and pumpkin noggin could always get together and start your own Asian buffet?

Kittuns 44,835 9
11/27/2006 04:37 PM

<action>lies in bed...</action>

It's so big!

Millie 116,988 28
11/27/2006 04:37 PM

Sorry about your cat. Is he the one that looks like my Morty?

Tucker Jolson 16,163 11
11/27/2006 04:40 PM

When my parents had to have their 16 year old dachsund put to sleep the vet suggested that they not witness it. He said that more often than not upsets the people even more because their eyes don't close and they frequently lose control of their bodily functions. Not necessarily the way you want to remember your pet.



As such they were unable to ask the vet to pose her for my collection of photos.

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/27/2006 04:40 PM

Yep, if Morty's on the right.

Millie 116,988 28
11/27/2006 04:43 PM

When we put our cat to death, the vet gave him a shot that put him to sleep first, so when they gave him the shot that killed him, it was more peaceful.



They have a little room with a fountain and a mural of the "rainbow bridge" for saying goodbye.

dinesh 24,862 16
11/27/2006 05:27 PM

one of my parent's cats escaped while they were on vacation and a windstorm blew open a door.



a month later, an electrician who was installing a new backup generator discovered that it hadn't escaped, it had gone into the basement sump pump room to die.



17 years old.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
11/27/2006 06:14 PM

I think Griffens is dehydrated. He drinks and drinks, and it doesn't make a difference. His eyes are all sunk back.



Seriously, I saw this on James Harriet, only with a small dog, and then some lambs I think.



I'm sure it could be really useful if I could remember how he saved all the animals lives, but I can't. Still, I love James Harriet.

Pubah, Run Tell it on the Mountian 56,805 18
11/27/2006 07:25 PM

Lies Pubah has been told...



...in bed.



"Don't worry about it baby. You didn't hurt me."

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/27/2006 09:14 PM

Well, we had to go in afterall, the home visit vet was booked out. Dad came home and took us up. I was fine. Dad was pretty upset.



Bikini, I briefly condidered asking them to put him on a drip and see if he'd get better, but he couldn't even lift his head anymore, it would have been cruel.

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/27/2006 09:18 PM

Oh, and when we had to choose between them doing what they saw fit with him, taking him home, and cremating him, I *almost* made a crack about the pizza joint next door. The vet was crammed between two fast food outlets, it just seemed weird. Then I *almost* did the, "so how long before he comes round?" thing, but the vet lady was being too nice.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
11/27/2006 09:41 PM

What did you choose, where is he? You brought him home to bury with Natas, right?

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
11/27/2006 09:46 PM

Ok, there is a dead cat in the foyer.

Thud 68,497 19
11/27/2006 09:49 PM

Neep, is it the same cat Jaggy is talking about, or just some random one?

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
11/27/2006 10:01 PM

Hmmm, I didn't check under the blanket. Maybe the vet just handed back a furry ginger foot and hoped we wouldn't check that the rest of him was there.

Chit 178,781 15
11/27/2006 10:06 PM

Ok, there is a dead cat in the foyer.





And you haven't already started making Tribbles with it yet ?

Happy Strawlidays 98,000 37
11/27/2006 10:16 PM

Hugs to you, Neep and Jaggy. My orange kitty had to be put to sleep a year and a half ago. He had similar problems.



I didn't bring him home and leave him in the foyer, however. I don't even want to think of how the dog might have handled that unexpected treat.

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/27/2006 10:35 PM

I don't think dad wanted to bury him before mum got home, just incase she wanted to see him.

Jolson roasting over an open fire 16,163 11
11/27/2006 10:38 PM

You could always have him freeze dried.



Nothing says I love you like a freeze dried pet in your living room.

Jolson roasting over an open fire 16,163 11
11/27/2006 10:38 PM

Plus, no burying!

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,453 11
11/27/2006 10:39 PM

Skin him and put him in the freezer. Roast him on Sunday and serve him with roast potatoes and vegetables.



Voila, cheap Sunday lunch and effective way of disposing of the body.

Jolson roasting over an open fire 16,163 11
11/27/2006 10:40 PM

Plus, as mentioned previously, save the skin for a fashionable purse!

Ravos, El Taco Squirrel 63,472 21
11/27/2006 10:41 PM

After they finish, put the cat on the side of the road with a "free cat" sign.

Phlanx 1,919 8
11/27/2006 11:05 PM

May the Lord Jesus protect your Cat and lead him to eternal life

Return of the Son of the Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
11/27/2006 11:26 PM

I'm really sorry to hear about your cat.

Captain Skippy, sweet as candy 41,253 13
11/27/2006 11:29 PM

URP!! LIAR!!

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,453 11
11/27/2006 11:29 PM

Have it stuffed. There you go, a new teddy.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
11/27/2006 11:31 PM

Hey, he's already replaced. With a goat. My cousins got our family a goat for Christmas, but they sent it to some family in Afghanistan.

Thud 68,497 19
11/27/2006 11:34 PM

There you go, save the body and feed it to the new goat. Make it feel welcome. Becoming more Having a part of the family.

Thud 68,497 19
11/27/2006 11:35 PM

I know, that was sick.



Bad Thud, needs a spanking. Volunteers?

PhucDucken 237,919 21
11/27/2006 11:36 PM

They have a little room with a fountain and a mural of the "rainbow bridge" for saying goodbye.



So he hath crossed over into Asgard, where he doth serve as warrior guard to the most high Odin, father of the gods? All hail Morty!

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
11/27/2006 11:55 PM

So he hath crossed over into Asgard



Griffins crossed with Asgard?

Millie Christmas to all, and to all a good night! 116,988 28
11/28/2006 12:03 AM

Morty isn't dead yet!



He just has a thing on his head.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
11/28/2006 04:04 AM

I'm very sorry about your lost cat. I've had to have my kitties put down before, and it's always very sad.



Currently, all my cats are alive and well back in Canada though! Unless my mum had them killed shortly after I left the country and is now lying to me about it. Which is actually not that unlikely. That bitch.

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/28/2006 05:22 AM

Skin him and put him in the freezer. Roast him on Sunday and serve him with roast potatoes and vegetables.



Considered it, but there's no meat left on him.

Tucker Jolson 16,163 11
11/28/2006 09:20 AM

He just has a thing on his head.



You play kitty red rocket too?



Awesome!

PhucNutts Roasting on an Open Fire 237,919 21
11/28/2006 09:31 AM

Wrong kind of dork, Neep.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/28/2006 10:40 AM

In honor of his passing, I will erect a shine to your cat in our home for the next week.



As soon as I can find a ginger cat to "Stand in" as him in it...I think the neighbors will do nicely, just need to catch that little Froster before it tears up ANOTHER squirrel in my back yard ask their permission.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
11/28/2006 01:31 PM

Actually, Al, if you follow the SG-1 mythos, that's exactly who the little grey aliens are portryaing themselves as. They use the Norse God mythos to counteract the evil Goa'uld using the Egyptian, Asian, and Greek/Roman mythos.



</geek>

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
11/28/2006 02:08 PM

That's why Griffins is Thor. Rar!

Chit 178,781 15
11/28/2006 02:21 PM

My cousins got our family a goat for Christmas, but they sent it to some family in Afghanistan.





Did they drop it from a plane on them ?



I understand they are used to receiving all their aid, dropped somehow, from a military aircraft.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/28/2006 02:31 PM

I bet that helps with the slaughter and slicing.



Would imagine goats sort of explode when they hit the ground from a height.



'Abdul, it diner ready?'

'Not yet Amahal, there are goat parts EVERYWHERE! We're still trying to find them all to cook'

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,895 13
11/28/2006 05:41 PM

...the goats in Afghanistan are like pets to their families, even though their primary function is to provide milk. They look after them, and decorate them, so they can tell them apart from the neighborhood goats. The card had a picture of a litle boy holding a baby goat with pink tassels on it's ears. Soooo cute!

Crackalaka!! with a mistletoe belt buckle 68,758 11
11/28/2006 05:46 PM

"I'm lying in bed...."





Just like Brian Wilson did?

m squared will shoot your eye out 2,881 7
11/28/2006 06:11 PM

So sorry about your kitty. Glad you could get him to a vet to be put to sleep.



When my cat got fatally ill, I had to let my husband shoot her in the head.

Thud 68,497 19
11/28/2006 06:40 PM

When my cat got fatally ill, I had to let my husband shoot her in the head.



Please tell me that isn't some sex euphemism.



If it is, post pictures.

KChikita - Not Chi Chi Felipe 128,316 98
11/28/2006 06:55 PM

My husband had an orange Persian named Farley for 13 years, ever since he was just a wee kitty. Unfortunately, at 12 he developed an ulcer in one eye due to a spat with our friend's cat. We spent about a grand total trying to get him stabilized, and actually had his eye removed ("Arrr! Cap'n Farrr!") but it took too much out of him and he started having heart problems about 6 months later.



My husband and I decided not to put him to sleep, and faithfully gave him his meds until he died.



Heart-attack -> 6pm

Death -> 11:45pm that night.



THAT was rough.

KChikita - Not Chi Chi Felipe 128,316 98
11/28/2006 06:56 PM

This is the worst batch of funny EVER.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/29/2006 08:39 AM

"...But then death isn't funny!"

-Mike, the Young Ones