A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/28/2006 02:02 PM

Link to the story that started this.

Trixxie 65,026 15
11/28/2006 02:08 PM

I can't come in today. Homosexuality is a disease and I'm calling in Queer.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/28/2006 02:19 PM

Won't be in today. The train hit a buffalo and isn't running today; I was going to drive in, but the wife hit a deer on the way to the station to pick me up and wrecked the car.





(recently heard excuse)

That's What She Said 27,416 24
11/28/2006 02:21 PM

It's Global Orgasm Day and I need to do my part for peace.

Captain Skippy, sweet as candy 41,253 13
11/28/2006 02:27 PM

GAB is down.

Captain Skippy, sweet as candy 41,253 13
11/28/2006 02:27 PM

GAB 6.0 sucks.

PhucNutts Roasting on an Open Fire 237,919 21
11/28/2006 02:32 PM

Diarrhea is always the ironclad excuse, and you don't even have to say what you have! You can just vaguely imply it--"I'm having... stomach problems,"--and they can't wait to hang up!

Captain Skippy, sweet as candy 41,253 13
11/28/2006 02:35 PM

it's even easier if you're vegetarian, you can just hint that you might have eaten some meat and they're like "Ok, no problem just um.. hope you feel better, drink fluids bye"

Declan McManus, Daily Prophet Food Writer, 2006 131,887 36
11/28/2006 02:42 PM

In your case, Pumpkin, just tell the truth:



"I'm the father of three children under the age of 6 years old."





Everyone else might find this one useful:



"I'm showing all the symptoms of Peruvian Hand Rot. It is curable in early stages, though highly contagious. If I deal with it today, I'll be fine by Thursday."

Chickens wonders is it 2008 yet? 286,539 61
11/28/2006 02:57 PM

15) Employee was sad.



Well, damn. That's a viable work excuse? Who would have thought. I would think that work makes most people sadd.

Crypto- proudly not funny 800 7
11/28/2006 03:00 PM

I have a horrible case of vagina

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/28/2006 03:02 PM

Yeah, Chix, I liked that one too.



and Declan, I've tried that one before, but more recently have to modify it to say 'and <insert kid name here> has a Doctors apointment, so the wife needs someone to watch the other two'



Only ONCE has someone offered to sit for them so I can come in, they won't be making that mistake again.

Sage of Seattle (Facetiously Festive) 36,465 8
11/28/2006 07:20 PM

Only ONCE has someone offered to sit for them so I can come in, they won't be making that mistake again.



Wow. First time I've ever heard of Ollie being scared of kids.

Joe Phlanx would prefer an edit feature 1,919 8
11/28/2006 07:32 PM

Boss, I can't come in today, I just caught the clap from your wife.

KChikita - Not Chi Chi Felipe 128,316 98
11/28/2006 07:38 PM

<action>in teary voice.</action> "Our cat just passed away last night, and I really need a day to collect myself."

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
11/28/2006 08:43 PM

Last week a manager called me at my house to see if I could come into work that day because about 3 other people didn't show.



My exscuse to him was:



"Dude, I've already had 4 shots and 4 beers, I'm waaaay too wasted to come into work on my day off."



This was at 10:32 am.*













* I know this because I just checked my caller ID.

Mike (makes baby Jesus cry) 1,692 7
11/28/2006 08:45 PM

"I'm sorry, i can't make it in today. I have GABitis."

Juansidious 7,400 0
11/28/2006 10:11 PM

"I can't come to work today. I was in a horrible car accident, and am currently in a coma."

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
11/29/2006 08:58 AM

(thanks for turning on the clickies John)



I just got a call from a coworker who called in because it MIGHT snow a lot today.





Who calls in for a "MAYBE Snowday"?!

Chance the Freckle Monster 171,275 14
11/29/2006 10:48 AM

If you have a man for a boss, you call in and say your vagina is leaking big bloody clots of death. Works everytime.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
11/29/2006 12:24 PM

My excuse for being late this morning:



"You put me in charge of the bar last night and told me I could drink as much wine as I wanted, so it's your fault I came into work this morning late with a hangover."



I'm also taking my dry cleaning bill out of the petty cash, but they don't know about that yet.

Stuey's Fav Girl... 53 6
11/29/2006 06:01 PM

I can't come to work this morning boss... i'm hand cuffed to the bed and Hubby has lost the key...

ThirstyMcSurly,filthy stocking stuffer 4,444 12
11/29/2006 06:03 PM

No questions asked explosive diarehea aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahah ahaahahahaha(sp?)