woodenshoes 347 9
12/11/2006 01:24 PM

sorry here is the link

anhishere creator of Kwanzaa 11,158 14
12/11/2006 01:24 PM

Haven't been on Zug for awhile



It shows.

Chickens wonders is it 2008 yet? 286,539 61
12/11/2006 01:32 PM

Sup, woodenshoes. Good spot.

Crackerone 68,758 11
12/11/2006 01:35 PM

Bob Johnson once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight.































Chuck never showed.

woodenshoes 347 9
12/11/2006 01:50 PM

im 68 years old and ive lost bob johnson, we were in love for 6 months, than i lost him when i was 12. i still cant find him and im uncapable of loving anyone else:(



.....56 years of missing Bob

Ditdah sees you when you're sleeping 123,110 14
12/11/2006 01:52 PM

Hey! Woodenshoes is back! He's the first guy I called an asshat!



Hi, asshat

woodenshoes 347 9
12/11/2006 01:54 PM

good times

Crackerone 68,758 11
12/11/2006 02:11 PM

Bob Johnson's shadow weighs 38lbs.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 02:28 PM

BobJohnson knows the cure for cancer.



But he keeps it secret because cancer's funny.

Chickens wonders is it 2008 yet? 286,539 61
12/11/2006 02:33 PM

Bob Johnson makes even Canada look cool.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 02:37 PM

On the eighth day Bobjohnson created Goatsee, using only the power of his mind and an olive.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 02:37 PM

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Bob Johnson has 72.









And they're all poisonous.

Happy Strawlidays 98,000 37
12/11/2006 02:38 PM

Bob Johnson invented the fingernail clippers.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 02:41 PM

Bob Johnson caused the space shuttle Columbia disaster by pointing his index finger at it and yelling, "BANG!"

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
12/11/2006 02:43 PM

Bob Johnson created the universe as we know it. He clapped to chalkboard erasers together and sneezed us into existance.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 02:45 PM

BobJohnson must keep his clickies in a warehouse in South America, lest the northern hemisphere becomes too heavy and sends the Earth spiraling into the Sun.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 02:45 PM

Bob Johnson once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who Has More Testicles?" contest.

















Bob Johnson won by five.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 02:46 PM

By the year 2069 all children born on Earth and Mars will be direct descendants of BobJohnson.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 02:49 PM

Bob Johnson is the only person ever to beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 02:52 PM

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Bob Johnson once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 02:54 PM

Every time BobJohnson farts an angel gets his wings.

Crackerone 68,758 11
12/11/2006 02:56 PM

In 1972, someone tried to mug Bob Johnson. He punched the guy so hard, not only did it kill the mugger, but it also knocked all the crime that was in Canada down into the United States.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
12/11/2006 02:56 PM

Bob Johnson is the only person ever to beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.



When making jokes on "BobJohnson facts", BobJohson is able to come up with new material instead of just replacing "Chuck Norris" with "BobJohnson" in existing jokes.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 02:58 PM

The Tralfamadoreans could invade Earth any time Bob Johnson wanted them to. He just likes watching us squirm.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 03:02 PM

Before Bob Johnson was born, Tralfamadorean beings experienced time linearly.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 03:03 PM

BobJohnsons liver is the second hardest known object in the world.



You already know what the hardest is.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 03:04 PM

Bob Johnson has to register his liver as a concealed weapon.

Happy Strawlidays 98,000 37
12/11/2006 03:04 PM

Bob Johnson once forced a poor lad to burp all the verses to 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.

Crackerone 68,758 11
12/11/2006 03:05 PM

After Bob Johnson started wearing their shirts, Hawaii changed their name to Bob Johnson.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 03:06 PM

All of reality is just a dream Bob Johnson is having.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 03:07 PM

BobJohnsons semen can cure Aids.



Unfortunatly no one can survive the ejaculation.

Traemas Trollups for Everyone! 156,790 17
12/11/2006 03:10 PM

The eighth wonder of the world??



You guessed it: Bob Johnson

Crackerone 68,758 11
12/11/2006 03:15 PM

I soccer-mommed every one of you copy catting bastards.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 03:15 PM

That Hargrave guy must clear all of his articles with BobJohnson before submiting.

syncope 49,019 14
12/11/2006 03:16 PM

Bob Johnson is so cool people like Juan can go whoring for clickies just by mentioning his name in 47 posts. They all get clickies even though they're not funny because it is impossible not to clicky Bob Johnson.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 03:16 PM

It's phyically impossible to soccer-mom BobJohnson.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 03:18 PM

The devil once sent Bob Johnson a succubus to collect his semen while he slept. He then used the sperm to create a bitter and twisted creature that would be the polar opposite of Bob Johnson. We know that creature by his GAB name of syncope.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
12/11/2006 03:19 PM

In Soviet Rusian, Soccermoms do Bob Johnson.







Hell, in CANADA Soccermoms do Bob Johnson.

Joe Phlanx accidentily shot Santa 1,919 8
12/11/2006 03:24 PM

Bob Johnson can edit his psots.

Joe Phlanx accidentily shot Santa 1,919 8
12/11/2006 03:25 PM

Damn it.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 03:25 PM

You, on the other hand, cannot.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 03:27 PM

BobJohnson invented the vagina as a beer bottle opener and a place to keep his keys.



But he decided he didn't like the smell and gave them to women instead.

trojan dollop of whipped cream on pie 3,467 8
12/11/2006 03:28 PM

You, on the other hand, cannot.



I think that was the joke he was making, idiot.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 03:31 PM

BobJohnson never needs jokes explained to him.

Not even Prams.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 03:35 PM

I was pretty sure that wasn't a joke, considering Joe Phlanx's history of typos, but whatever.

All Phlanx wants for Christmas is Teh Funny 1,919 8
12/11/2006 03:39 PM

It was a happy accident.

Chickens wonders is it 2008 yet? 286,539 61
12/11/2006 03:49 PM

No, donk and jane's baby is a happy accident.

Its A Wonderful Sarah. 30,601 8
12/11/2006 03:50 PM

Bob Johnson is the only person that has ever given me an orgasm.



And we've never had sex.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
12/11/2006 04:13 PM

Not that you know of, anyway...



Bob Johnson can have sex with women and they never know.

A Pumpkin Noggin before Christmas 56,642 8
12/11/2006 04:13 PM

No, donk and jane's baby is a happy accident.



I don't know, Chix...it's a bit to early to tell if the kid is happy or not.

Dave's on the naughty list again this year. 52,827 16
12/11/2006 04:15 PM

Bob Johnson apparently has a chap-proof ass.



That's pretty awesome.

Midgets with his nose so bright 96,092 48
12/11/2006 04:15 PM

BobJohnson is the only person Dumbledore ever feared.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
12/11/2006 04:59 PM

And the number One reason why BobJohnson is awesome:



He pisses off Sy!

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
12/11/2006 08:08 PM

Bob Johnson was the inspiration for a very popular line of T-shirts.

It's too bad the artist got wasted and misspelled Bob's first name.

Juan- Navidad Con Carne 7,400 0
12/11/2006 08:20 PM

"Did I ever tell you about the time Bob Johnson took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Bob takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half -- until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Bob yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!'"

Ravos, El Taco Squirrel 63,472 21
12/11/2006 10:49 PM

Bob Johnson created the earth around himself, living in the middle. One day he got explosive diarhea.



And thats why we have volcanoes.

Ravos, El Taco Squirrel 63,472 21
12/12/2006 08:20 AM

Ever say something that totally killed the conversation?





.....yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.