Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: I see . . . 'cause they might rape you. Anally or vaginally?

Woman: Excuse me?

BobJohnson: Oh, I'm sorry. I misunderstood. I thought we were just randomly saying offensive things.

anhishere to save the day! 11,158 14
02/07/2007 05:24 AM

BJ: You haven't gone black yet?!

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
02/07/2007 05:26 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Funny you should say that. I don't drive downtown because of white women drivers.

Midgets 96,092 48
02/07/2007 05:26 AM

Canada has black people?


My usual reply to people like this is to get offended and claim to be half of whatever race they're bagging on. I can usually pull it of pretty well except for Asians.
It's the lump in my pants that gives me away.

Duke of Ellington 353 8
02/07/2007 05:28 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson:Yeah, I hear you. Boy, those black guys are always [mildy funny rascist cliche here]

anhishere to save the day! 11,158 14
02/07/2007 05:33 AM

[mildy funny rascist cliche here]

You're supposed to be the one inserting the joke. It's like you just inserted a collection plate into a donation box.

Chit 178,781 15
02/07/2007 05:33 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: You know you can avoid them if you stay out of the last three rows, don't you ?

Phuc 237,919 21
02/07/2007 05:34 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: My mom's a black guy.

Closet Friend #1004 7,665 11
02/07/2007 05:36 AM

It's the lump in my pants that gives me away.

You turn your backside to them? Do they see it or smell it?

Midgets 96,092 48
02/07/2007 05:41 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Can I tell you about Uniporn?

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
02/07/2007 05:43 AM

Your submission doesn't count, you didn't put it in bold.

daisypie 49,378 9
02/07/2007 05:44 AM

Bob, you don't say whether the woman is black. That little detail
could make a BIG difference to the reply...

Chit 178,781 15
02/07/2007 05:48 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: No kidding... And god forbid one of them should lean their greazy heads up against one of the windows.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
02/07/2007 05:50 AM

"I like that I have the chance to interview people to hold lanterns on my lawn."

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
02/07/2007 05:50 AM

Bob, you don't say whether the woman is black. That little detail could make a BIG difference to the reply...

That's just a racist thing to say!

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
02/07/2007 05:51 AM

"I get the best fried chicken recipes on the bus."

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
02/07/2007 05:52 AM

Bus Driver: Hi, my name is Toby and I'll be your driver today.

BJ: Shut up and drive, Kunta.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
02/07/2007 05:54 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: STFU, n00b.

anhishere to save the day! 11,158 14
02/07/2007 05:54 AM

None of our submissions count. We didn't use

blockquotes.

anhishere to save the day! 11,158 14
02/07/2007 05:54 AM

I stand corrected.

Here's Humphrey 51,764 12
02/07/2007 05:55 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Sooooo.. I'm here because of this smelly rash I have right between my balls and my arse. See... right here. What do you call that bit? Your barse?

Anyway... what are you here for?

Dan 1,634 7
02/07/2007 05:56 AM

I believe it's called your "gouche".

Dan 1,634 7
02/07/2007 06:00 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Oh, I know what you mean. You'll be lucky to see more than two normal people on the bus, these days.

I just wish they'd make trails of cotton to all of the most common places where negros congregate. You know how they love picking that stuff. At least then they'd actually do something.

Chit 178,781 15
02/07/2007 06:02 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Ohh, I wouldn't know. I've never taken it to the courthouse before.

Luscious Red Heart-shaped Strawberry 98,000 37
02/07/2007 06:10 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: I learned to tune out non-white people a long time ago. All that hate and fear can leave a person so emotionally drained.

Chit 178,781 15
02/07/2007 06:11 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Ohh yea. They Frost-ing love chicks with huge asses, don't they?

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
02/07/2007 06:13 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: True that, shorty.

daisypie 49,378 9
02/07/2007 06:14 AM

<action>, assuming the woman is black, since no one else took the straight line...</action>Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. No black guys, you know any?

BobJohnson: Oh, I'M black... where it counts. If you know what I mean. *wink*

Chit 178,781 15
02/07/2007 06:26 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Yea, normally I would fly a fighter jet if I had to go downtown, but I'm colorblind.

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
02/07/2007 06:59 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?

Tweak 18,881 12
02/07/2007 09:12 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

Pram: Can I tape my dick to your forehead?

Chickens -- 6 lbs in 07 286,539 61
02/07/2007 09:18 AM

excellent Frogs

Chickens -- 6 lbs in 07 286,539 61
02/07/2007 09:23 AM

Racisim is alive and well, despite most of our rather enlightened views of the world. One of our friends adopted a bi-racial boy and he has grown to the the star of the local football and basketball team in a mostly all white high school. He and the other black guy on the team still have to put up with Shakespeare like black dolls being hung with nooses on their lockers.

The kid's not done a thing in the world wrong. In fact, he's the school's sports hero, and he has to put up with that Shakespeare from some local mouth breathing rednecks. Sucks balls.

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
02/07/2007 09:29 AM

excellent Frogs

Thanks! But on second thought, maybe that should have been "crackhouses".

Luscious Red Heart-shaped Strawberry 98,000 37
02/07/2007 12:01 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Nigga, please!

I'm in my Stone Cold Birthday suit!! 62,262 18
02/07/2007 12:33 PM

I think the work experience girl thinks I'm racist. I came back from the bank, and I was pissed off because I got the Carrollish teller and she always seems something wrong in anything you are doing and never does what you ask her too. Apparently, it's not her job to handle your money and put it in your different accounts. She said something retarded and had been making things difficult, so when I got back I burst out with "Frost! I hate the bank! I got that damn Frost-ing black woman again!"

Now, I should have said "that damn Frost-ing Carroll" because my problem with her is that she is a damn Frost-ing Carroll. But I didn't. Everyone else at the gallery knew exactly what I meant, because we all hate her, and everyone commiserated with me. I'm sure the new girl is convinced we're all a bunch of racists here now.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/07/2007 12:44 PM

I'm sure the new girl is convinced we're all a bunch of racists here now.

Of course you're all racists--you're Englitch! Just ask Rajneeesh when he's done waxing the boss' bollocks.

Nachos 57,521 23
02/07/2007 12:47 PM

The Empire is not dead, it's merely sleeping.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/07/2007 12:50 PM

Actually it's true. The gallery is kind of racist.


We don't exhibit blacks or Scots.

Ranting and Ravos 63,472 21
02/07/2007 01:18 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: ASL?

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
02/07/2007 01:48 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Do you think black people smell bad because they ride the bus, or is it the other way 'round?

SquidBoy 19,912 12
02/07/2007 02:04 PM

So I'm going to give GAB the chance in this thread to write what I should have said.

You should've just punched her in the throat.

So it's not really relevant to the conversation.. but damn, could you image the look on her face?!?

TomSFox 352 6
02/07/2007 03:34 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I've seen bigger. Uh, I mean, I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Oh, so do I, racist women, you know.

Pumpkin Noggin-horabal spelir xtrodinair 56,642 8
02/07/2007 03:38 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Black Guys? Are you talkin "American Black" IE: Ogden Nashes, "UK Black" IE: Sand Ogden Nashes; or "Asian Black" IE: anyone not not Chineese?

syncope only knows good, ball...and rape. 49,019 14
02/07/2007 03:42 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I've seen bigger. Uh, I mean, I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: I have a copy of "White Chicks, Black Sticks" that might change your mind.

TomSFox 352 6
02/07/2007 03:43 PM

Oh, Phuc, you should have read my text before copying and pasting it.

TomSFox 352 6
02/07/2007 03:44 PM

Aah! Stop stealing my modified text!

Jolson picked the wrong year to stop sniffing glue 16,163 11
02/07/2007 03:46 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I've seen bigger. Uh, I mean, I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Did somebody just take a dump in your mouth because you just vomited a bunch of Shakespeare.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/07/2007 03:46 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Yeah, my brother was driving home from work last winter. He slipped on some black ice and crashed into a mailbox.


...then some fat white bitch stole his wallet.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/07/2007 03:47 PM

Oh, Phuc, you should have read my text before copying and pasting it.

What the hell are you talking about, n00b? I type all my Shakespeare from scratch.

Midgets 96,092 48
02/07/2007 03:51 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I've seen bigger. Uh, I mean, I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: There is a special level of hell for you and people who can edit their posts.

TomSFox 352 6
02/07/2007 03:52 PM

Sorry, my eye slipped a post.
Don't be so pissed!

TomSFox 352 6
02/07/2007 03:54 PM

Oh, Phuc, go Phuc yourself!

Just Chance 171,275 14
02/07/2007 03:55 PM

What the hell are you talking about, n00b? I type all my Shakespeare from scratch.

Chicken scratch?

Pumpkin Noggin-horabal spelir xtrodinair 56,642 8
02/07/2007 04:06 PM

Being caucasion (read:so pale I'm clear) and a shaved headed punk (read: Non facist Skinhead) I hear this sort of Shakespeare all the time, unfortunatly.
I guess people just assume because I look like this I must be a racist Frost.
The most recent was on the train back to NW Indy....we have two stops in Garry (3rd Murder capitol of the world, mostly Black)...The person talking at me (not TO me, as I wasn't paying attention) kept talking about "All these Canadians cause all the problems here...Damn Canadians, driving down the houseing prices. Garry used to be full of WHITE Folks, but then the Canadians moved in..."

I had to ask what the hell he was talking about....turns out he uses the word "Canadian" instead of Black or the N word because "[he] got [his] ass kicked one night on the train for saying Ogden Nash".

Served him right, but Canadians? SO...any time you want to come kick his ass, Bob, let me know, we'll put you up for the night, and supply the Red Stripe.

TomSFox 352 6
02/07/2007 04:09 PM

Woman: Johnson? Bob Johnson?
BobJohnson: Woman? Racist Woman? *Paff*

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 57,521 23
02/07/2007 04:33 PM

Non facist Skinhead

You're gay?

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 57,521 23
02/07/2007 04:34 PM

And for the record...sitting in Starbucks and typing 'Gay Skinhead' into Google image search?

You get some really funny looks.

And potential dates.

Pumpkin Noggin-horabal spelir xtrodinair 56,642 8
02/07/2007 04:55 PM

No, not GAY, S.H.A.R.P.

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
02/07/2007 05:06 PM

Wow, are you straight edge too? That would be so unorthodoxed of you.

Pumpkin Noggin-horabal spelir xtrodinair 56,642 8
02/07/2007 05:08 PM

Not that straight edge...just anti racist....
I've not been round that crew for sometime now, but still.

Chickens -- 6 lbs in 07 286,539 61
02/07/2007 05:35 PM

Actually it's true. The gallery is kind of racist.


We don't exhibit blacks or Scots.

Oi Shakespearee!

Pumpkin Noggin-horabal spelir xtrodinair 56,642 8
02/07/2007 05:38 PM

A good Scott does a fine job of exhibiting himself anyway, Chix, you know that.

Nachos 57,521 23
02/07/2007 05:45 PM

Your name's Bob isn't it?

Briham: Counting down till Groundhog's Day 38,843 10
02/07/2007 05:58 PM

Wait until a black guy walks into the room. Then loudly say "So tell me again, why is it that you hate black people?"

Crack A. Lacka & Associates 68,758 11
02/07/2007 06:12 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I've seen bigger. Uh, I mean, I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: You better watch it, I know a skinhead that's against racial predjudice. He grows pumpkins too.

Woman: What a fag!

Pumpkin Noggin-horabal spelir xtrodinair 56,642 8
02/07/2007 06:16 PM

Yeah yeah yeah...big Frost-ing deal. I was a Skin with a mind that wasn't set to Hitler and the KKK mentality and I owned a pumpkin farm when I got older...
BIG Frost-ing DEAL.

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
02/07/2007 06:48 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: She's a witch! Burn her!

I Llove You 48,662 14
02/07/2007 07:05 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Lady, that's really NOT awesome. You have a lot to learn.

Bron-Y-Aur-Shemp 22,222 17
02/07/2007 08:51 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Hey easy there! I was raised by a pack of Darkies.

syncope 49,019 14
02/07/2007 08:53 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: What's wrong with the black guys I know?

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
02/07/2007 08:56 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Totally. Say, did you know there's a second Stargate on Earth?

Showmaster 4,754 0
02/08/2007 02:36 AM

Whats the problem with what she said?

Frost Ogden Nashes.

Just earlier today, one of them ripped me off when I tried to buy some rock.

Ranting and Ravos 63,472 21
02/08/2007 03:16 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I've seen bigger. Uh, I mean, I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: DONKEY PUNCH!

Proficiently Refined At Masturbating 80,728 42
02/08/2007 05:38 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: (eye twitching calmly) Yeah, huh. Hey, I'll see you in a few minutes, I need to go buy a baseball bat. For your, uh, protection.

Pubah Loves to Eat Tacos 56,805 18
02/09/2007 12:54 AM

<action>Laughs til he crys and hugs the Gab Collective</action>

Humans say the Damdest things...

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
02/09/2007 12:56 AM

<action>takes Pubah's dictionary and beats him about the head and neck</action>

It's cries and Damnedest!

Not So Young, Not So Gifted, But Still Black Pubah 56,805 18
02/09/2007 01:00 AM

<action>Slaps Carrot Top while beign beaten about the head and neck with a Dictionary</action>

Touche' Mon Ami,
Touche'

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
02/09/2007 01:03 AM

Sorry, Poobs. Just had to be done.

Kinda like shooting Old Yeller. Sure, it's fun, but there's always a bit of sadness as well.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/09/2007 03:18 PM

Spelling nazis are rooning GAB.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
02/09/2007 06:20 PM

And by "Old Yeller," I mean Phuc.

Marmite on Toast 12,955 12
02/09/2007 11:02 PM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Sorry, what was that? Your hood is muffling you...

Pubah Wants a Signed Copy of Prank teh Monkey 56,805 18
02/10/2007 12:36 AM

<action>Waited all day for this</action>

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus, Black guys you know.

Bob Johnson: I hear ya. Now gimmie all your money.

lalvathecybertroll 8 3
08/28/2009 01:03 AM

Whats the most confusing day in Harlem?





Father's Day

Mr Crabs 305 7
08/28/2009 10:09 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BJ: I know they make me horny as Frost too.

Millie 116,988 28
08/28/2009 04:39 PM

Seriously? Someone bumped this thread about a racist with a racist joke? Oh well, at least the thread is funny.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/29/2009 01:16 AM

Woman: Traffic sure is bad this time of day, eh?

BobJohnson: Meh. I took the bus. I never drive downtown.

Woman: Oh, I hate the bus. Black guys, you know.

BobJohnson: Yes, and don't call me Black guys!

peoriagrace 6,166 11
08/30/2009 03:22 PM

Has anybody watched the movie airplane? And don't call me black guys!

Pubah 56,805 18
08/30/2009 03:26 PM

Yes, I've seen Airplane...


But I don't speak Jive.

And don't call me Pubah, unless you mean it.