Crack Her One 68,154 8
02/15/2007 07:45 AM

If there's grass on the field, play ball.

Chickens -- 6 lbs in 07 238,148 14
02/15/2007 07:46 AM

She's legal and tastes like chicken. I say go for it.

TacoCrunch: Classic 55,751 21
02/15/2007 07:46 AM

I'm 19 (almost 20) and I date 22-30 year olds. My parents have no issue with this.

Chickens -- 6 lbs in 07 238,148 14
02/15/2007 07:47 AM

now if you were 46 I would wonder about you

dinesh 21,845 14
02/15/2007 07:48 AM

i'm 34 and i date pictures of girls who are guaranteed by law to be at least 18.

Phuc 231,372 13
02/15/2007 07:48 AM

More than ten years and it's creepy and one or both need daily therapy.

Anyway, old enough to pee, old enough for.... uhhh... Dan.

Just Chance now with 33% more Stripper Tears 168,297 11
02/15/2007 07:48 AM

If socially acceptable, what are the odds she likes anal?

Dude, I thought you were BobJohnson. Fag.

Jade - Queen of Mistakes 14,238 6
02/15/2007 07:48 AM

I think it's acceptable. Although, I think it may depend on if the hypothetical girl puts out, and/or if the hypothetical guy is cute.

My ex was 25, and I began dating him when I was 19, so similar age gap. Then again, my ex turned out to be an Emerson who broke off contact with me for no apparent reason. He also thought he was too good to say thank you to his Secret Santa, and I know Straw's still annoyed about that.

Just Chance now with 33% more Stripper Tears 168,297 11
02/15/2007 07:49 AM

Anyway, old enough to pee, old enough for.... uhhh... Dan.

I Phucing LOVE Phuc.

Prammer 53,612 12
02/15/2007 07:49 AM

BJ,

If she is college age, then yeah, that's perfectly acceptable, because you might have met in a class you were taking.

The only thing that you would have to watch out for is the alchohol element. Then again, you don't need drunk guyShakespeare-ing on her at an establishment designed to sell substances that lower peoples' inhibitions anyway.

Dianada loves her some snow! 23,595 15
02/15/2007 07:52 AM

There's a 5 year age gap with me and Frogpop. If you don't tell, I won't.

Marmite on Toast - I'll pop a cap in yo ass 5,619 5
02/15/2007 07:52 AM

I think it's actually "old enough to bleed"...

Prammer 53,612 12
02/15/2007 07:52 AM

Oh, I missed the second question.

The odds that she likes anal are $20.

Crack Her One 68,154 8
02/15/2007 07:54 AM

If there's grass on the field, play ball.

What I meant to say was:

If there's Trafalmordean space crystals in her power couplings, blast off.

Captain Skippy, pirate extraordinare 41,131 11
02/15/2007 07:58 AM

If socially acceptable, what are the odds she likes anal?

Word of warning, she's probably emotionally, mentally and sexually immature.

So while it will be socially acceptable, your changes of anal are nill, the sex will probably be lacking and you'll overwhelmed with an urge to smack her upside the head. Or eat her if you're Dave.

I Llove You 48,160 9
02/15/2007 08:06 AM

It is not socially acceptable. YOu will have to kill approximately 25% of hte world's population.
And there is a 92% chance that she likes anal.
Just off the top of my head.

Erika Le' Vaginae 75,961 7
02/15/2007 08:08 AM

If there's grass on the field, play ball.


And if there's not, then play in the mud.



...What?

Chest, Oliver Chest 201,941 7
02/15/2007 08:12 AM

I don't date a girl unless I can take her to bars.

Chest, Oliver Chest 201,941 7
02/15/2007 08:12 AM

Oh, I don't mean places where you can go and drink alcohol. I mean monkey bars, like at a playground.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 165,527 10
02/15/2007 08:13 AM

Excellent. Majority in favor. With GAB as my moral guide, I cannot go wrong.

The only thing that you would have to watch out for is the alchohol element.

Meh. In some places the drinking age is different. For example, in Alberta it's 18 and on Tralfamadore it's negative pi.

Word of warning, she's probably emotionally, mentally and sexually immature.

Stop bumming me out. Just for that, I may post a mathematical proof that Windows ME was the best OS ever.

KChikita - Hot Chick Banana 50,447 11
02/15/2007 08:17 AM

I met my now-husband when I was 20 and he was 30.

Over five years later, we are married and have always had great sex.

The odds that she's emotionally immature and has no street-smarts are high, but it's not a definite.

They all asked for Miss Baton Rouge 64,479 13
02/15/2007 08:18 AM

I'm 46 and I get more 20 year twat, than the lot of you put together.

Jaggy - the angel on top of the tree 11,622 9
02/15/2007 08:20 AM

I'm 19, and my recent ex is 26. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 25. We met at uni though, I think that's different then if I was at school and he wasn't.

I don't like the idea of anal. Gross.

Sharri 14,055 8
02/15/2007 08:22 AM

The last guy I dated was the only one that was my age, 6 months younger to be precise. My average is 5 years older than me. I think that is a decent gap. You're cleared for takeoff of Lane 20 Bob! Or was that landing?

Hello! Nice Zolton! Thank you! 71,135 8
02/15/2007 08:28 AM

I predict you'd have to kill 43% of the population to make her like anal.

Can I pick the 43%?

Pumpkin Noggin-I'm a walking SnowMan! 56,422 5
02/15/2007 08:28 AM

I used to date 10 years up, 5 down...
The wifey's 3 years younger, who knows what age will be next.

Pumpkin Noggin-I'm a walking SnowMan! 56,422 5
02/15/2007 08:30 AM

Besides, with all of us wearing "Bob Johnson is AWESOME!" Tshirts when you bring her round to met us ....What could possibly go wrong?
(you ARE bringing her round to met us, right? We can have our Bob dating just ANY little whore 20 year old virgin)

Chickens -- 6 lbs in 07 238,148 14
02/15/2007 08:46 AM

Bob Johnson took his new girl skiing as a first date. Snowing and quite cold.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!
BJ suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, th ere came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Chickens -- 6 lbs in 07 238,148 14
02/15/2007 08:46 AM

BJ stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.


He peed on her butt on the first date. Not anal, but....

Pumpkin Noggin-I'm a walking SnowMan! 56,422 5
02/15/2007 08:54 AM

good story, but for a couple of flaws....

Bob doesn't have a car, it's a space craft, and it's probablly not some sort of cheap earth metal.

What self respecting alien doesn't have some sort of heat ray in the glove box?

Hello! Nice Zolton! Thank you! 71,135 8
02/15/2007 09:04 AM

What self respecting alien doesn't have some sort of heat ray in the glove box?

Look, he said he'd try for anal. Stop pressuring him with your euphemisms.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,543 13
02/15/2007 09:06 AM

Do it, but don't be suprised if she becomes really attached to you.

Been there done that and definatly got the scars from it.

Prammer 53,612 12
02/15/2007 09:08 AM

I'm 46 and I get more 20 year twat, than the lot of you put together.

The difference here, is that the kind of twat you get has dingleberries clinging to it.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
02/15/2007 09:12 AM

I've almost always dated older guys, and yet I still manage to be more emotionally mature than the majority of them. Although, I think it's especially sleazy for older guys to hit on me in bars and the like. I've always met boyfriends through school, university, and/or other friends.

Although my boyfriend in Montreal (five years older than me) I met when he walked up to me on the street, when I was waiting to meet a friend, and asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I'd been living in the city for less than a month, but I'd already experienced a multitude of crazy homeless people, so I instantly assumed he was going to like whip out his penis or something.

He noticed the wild look in my eyes, as I was getting ready to flee for the nearest depanneur and hide, and he quickly started explaining that he knew a friend of mine, and he'd been shown pictures, and he recognised me from them. His "magic trick" had been that he was going to tell me stuff about myself (just moved here from Nova Scotia, loves Star Trek, Fine Art student at Concordia) as if he was a mind reader or something.

It was weird, because I think the friend had been thinking about setting us up, because I'd been told about this guy too. We were a pretty good match too but we could not have met in a creepier way.

Well. We probably could have. But this is still something we laugh about to this day.

Millie 107,090 10
02/15/2007 09:14 AM

There's a 15 year age gap with me and Frogpop. If you don't tell, I won't.

Bob Johnson, as long as your immaturity level is the same as hers, you shouldn't have a problem.

Also, don't bring anal up until at least the second date.

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 51,812 10
02/15/2007 09:40 AM

as your immaturity level is the same as hers, you shouldn't have a problem.

This is why I can only ever date 5 year olds.

Pigmata 54,598 8
02/15/2007 09:41 AM

I dated a guy just before BD that was 19 (I was 25). Of course I only dated him becasue he had a MASSIVE penis. Freaking huge. Seriously, it was almost scary it was so big. If he got an erection while we were sitting on the couch I would have to move so I could see the TV.

So I guess what I am saying is, if she has a massive Coleridge then it's cool.

Just Sarah 30,476 5
02/15/2007 09:46 AM

I just texted a bunch of my friends, and 9 out of 10 girls like anal.

It would be 10, but Meg is a wuss.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
02/15/2007 09:49 AM

I just texted a bunch of my friends, and 9 out of 10 girls like anal.

Are you sure you don't just hang out with a lot of sluts?

Ditdah 115,030 10
02/15/2007 09:50 AM

More than ten years and it's creepy and one or both need daily therapy.

Hey! There's 12 years difference betwenn me and the old lady.

Just Sarah 30,476 5
02/15/2007 09:51 AM

Are you sure you don't just hang out with a lot of sluts?

Oh, I do. That's why it was 9 out of 10.

And one of them was me.

Nachos - It's always the quiet ones. 51,812 10
02/15/2007 09:54 AM

Number 10 makes up for it with a watersports fetish.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
02/15/2007 09:56 AM

Hey! There's 12 years difference betwenn me and the old lady.

It's okay, Ditdah. Since you're in a same-sex relationship, it will always be considered wrong anyway.

Ditdah 115,030 10
02/15/2007 10:03 AM

And it's an inter-racial relationship, too.

I like to piss everyone off.

Showmaster 0 0
02/15/2007 10:19 AM

Hell, I started dating my girl when she was 20. I was 29 at the time.

You have to get them early before a real man comes along and shows them how they are supposed to be treated.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
02/15/2007 10:29 AM

I like to piss everyone off.

Please tell me one of you was raised Protestant and the other Catholic.

Ditdah 115,030 10
02/15/2007 10:31 AM

Actually I was raised Catholic. I have no idea what she was raised as.

A freak, I think.

dropkick brody 41,453 9
02/15/2007 10:32 AM

It's a modern day Romeo and Juliet. You could stage it at some new age theatre. People would flock.

dropkick brody 41,453 9
02/15/2007 10:34 AM

Oh, and a 9 year age difference rocks.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
02/15/2007 10:36 AM

It's a modern day Romeo and Juliet. You could stage it at some new age theatre. People would flock.

In one of my highschool English classes, we had to write an adaptation of "Romeo & Juliet." I pitched for "Juliet & Juliet" but the super religious girl in my group veto'd it. What we ended up doing was funny, but mostly just because I made awesome puppets for it. "Juliet & Juliet" would have been much better.

I hope the bitch burns in hell anyway.

Showmaster 0 0
02/15/2007 10:56 AM

Oh, and a 9 year age difference rocks.

Hell yeah it does.

dropkick brody 41,453 9
02/15/2007 10:57 AM

High five for 9 year age differences!

Few are gayer than McPants 19,246 9
02/15/2007 11:24 AM

9-year age difference are the best, I'll agree.

Few are gayer than McPants 19,246 9
02/15/2007 11:27 AM

<action>notices his spelling mistake and bursts out in tears.</action>

Chad Vader, Daytime Manager 76,817 12
02/15/2007 11:33 AM

dating questions answered here

Professor Nutbutter 150,834 14
02/15/2007 11:35 AM

My wife is 9 1/2 years older than me.

Old wives don't last as long.

Tweak 18,660 6
02/15/2007 01:05 PM

Hey! There's 12 years difference betwenn me and the old lady.

You mean your mother?

SquidBoy 19,787 8
02/15/2007 07:55 PM

Me: 31
Wife: 24

Nothing wrong with going for the younger ones.

Tweak 18,660 6
02/15/2007 08:01 PM

Unless you're soon to be announcing your twenty year anniversary.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,038 8
02/15/2007 08:03 PM

I just realised how relevant this story is.

Tweak 18,660 6
02/15/2007 08:09 PM

"I have something much more special. I want to spend the rest of my life with him," she told a Sunday newspaper.

Let's see how crazy in love she is when she turns thirty and has to start changing his diapers.

Dianada loves her some snow! 23,595 15
02/15/2007 08:10 PM

But they are bestest buds!

Jepto abismal 57,795 10
02/15/2007 10:40 PM

When I was 16 I was 6'3", and could grow a full beard. In short I looked a lot older than I was and was already hanging out in bars. I dated a 26-year-old who thought I was 22. After a few months of mind-blowing sex, I forgot that I actually was NOT 22 and went with her to a nightclub in Ann Arbor where I got carded...and outed.

Ann Arbor is about an hour's drive from Detroit. It's an even longer walk (I eventually got a buddy to come get me).

Afterwards, her "little" brother, who was still five years older than me caught me when I got off work and beat the living Shakespeare out of me.

It was all worth it.

Few are gayer than McPants 19,246 9
02/15/2007 10:41 PM

And two years after they met, Mr Nash, who drives a hearse, claims to have strong feelings for his third wife, who wore black at their register office wedding last year.

Hmm, I guess that answers the question why Tabula Rasa hasn't been posting much lately.

Robin® 14,584 7
02/16/2007 04:04 AM

Bob, the age difference is fine. and there is a 50% chance she likes anal. Or will at least do it to keep a guy jappy.

As for the 50yr old and the 16yr old, what else would you expect from a pentacost? They're a freaky as mormons at times.

Millie 107,090 10
02/16/2007 04:10 AM

Judging from the opinions on this board, I would say the chance she likes anal is only about 10%, with maybe a 20% chance that she'll do it to keep the guy happy.

Robin® 14,584 7
02/16/2007 04:16 AM

Technically it is a 50% chance. As she either likes it or doesn't. Or a 33% if you include "do it to keep him happy."
There is always a 50% chance with two choices. It's when you factor in human emotions, hygiene issues, boundries, and alcohol that the statistic changes.

Jihad Joe- The REAL Arabian Hero 5,979 6
02/16/2007 04:22 AM

I don't approve of intergalactic relations.

Jihad Joe- The REAL Arabian Hero 5,979 6
02/16/2007 04:23 AM

The age is okay, though