Phlanx!?! 1,919 8
02/26/2007 01:32 AM

Group suicide. Not sure why.

Hot tamale Taco 61,976 36
02/26/2007 01:39 AM

I had an AP European History textbook that had a chapter start with something to the effect of, "During the middle ages, there were many strange and uncouth peoples milling about."

Jepto abismal 58,758 13
02/26/2007 01:48 AM

That happened last Saturday at the mall too.

Snork 45,655 12
02/26/2007 01:58 AM

Arr, old man Wedgwood was t' scourge o' t' factory floor, that he was.

A-No-Knee-Mousse 769 7
02/26/2007 02:04 AM

This. Unfortunatley, I cannot find the store that sells the overgrown lemur disguised as a rat that is supposed to come with it go with it.

A-No-Knee-Mousse 769 7
02/26/2007 02:04 AM

I misspelled unfourtunately...

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2007 02:09 AM

I do not like you, A-No-Knee-Mousse.
I would not like you wearing shoes.

Happy Sack of BC Bud 13,792 15
02/26/2007 02:14 AM

I do not like you, A-No-Knee-Mousse.
I would not like you wearing a house.


sorry Jane, I am OCD and needed it to rhyme.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2007 02:15 AM

But it's mousse, not mouse. Doesn't shoes rhyme better than house?

Happy Sack of BC Bud 13,792 15
02/26/2007 02:17 AM

moussse, mowsee, shoes...

Hmmm don't know so maybe neither of us rhyme?

daisypie 49,378 9
02/26/2007 02:21 AM

Buying some absolutely beautiful $50 prime beef tenderloins,
shoveling a pathway to the grill and firing it up,
going inside and prepping the red potatoes to mash,
sprinkling the beef with a Montreal steak seasoning, and
heading out to the grill only to find that the gas tank has run out...



No, wait, that isn't 'stangely hilarious' at all... IT SUCKS!

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2007 02:25 AM

According to the pronunciation key, mousse and shoes do rhyme.

I'm not sure why I have this burning need to prove I'm not wrong.

Lila Handbanana 78,555 13
02/26/2007 02:26 AM

Because you're Jane and that's why we lurv you.

Millie 116,988 28
02/26/2007 02:32 AM

Buying some absolutely beautiful $50 prime beef tenderloins,
shoveling a pathway to the grill and firing it up,
going inside and prepping the red potatoes to mash,
sprinkling the beef with a Montreal steak seasoning, and
heading out to the grill only to find that the gas tank has run out...



No, wait, that isn't 'stangely hilarious' at all... IT SUCKS!




Oh, I don't know. I think it's kind of amusing.

Lila Handbanana 78,555 13
02/26/2007 04:39 AM

Me too.

A-No-Knee-Mousse 769 7
02/26/2007 05:01 AM

TableTtoJane, why is it that, I am not, liked by you, my bike, and Mike And Ike?

A-No-Knee-Mousse 769 7
02/26/2007 05:02 AM

Lord help me, I misspelled top!

victor_kushmann 334 6
02/26/2007 05:05 AM

All of my leaves blowing into my neighbor's yard.

DinoExplosion 1,743 8
02/26/2007 05:09 AM

And your wife blowing your neighbor.

Captain Skippy, low in cholesterol 41,253 13
02/26/2007 05:20 AM

when you're having sex and it starts making that farting noise cause there is like some air in her vagina and you're both really close to climaxing and want to keep going hot and fast but can't help but laugh.

Hollis the Great 7,284 14
02/26/2007 06:02 AM

And how would you know what that's like?

Millie 116,988 28
02/26/2007 06:05 AM

His wife told him.

Rabble Ravos 63,472 21
02/26/2007 01:58 PM

dead baby jokes.

Snork 45,655 12
02/26/2007 02:03 PM

Ravos,

The key word in "Things you strangely find hilarious" is strangely.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
02/26/2007 02:15 PM

When they put the people's bounced checks on the cash register at the liquor store so everyone can see it. That's funny to me.
Also, when I see a nice luxury car or SUV at a body shop all smashed up. It makes me laugh.

Jean(n) a durable cotton cloth; denim 47,787 51
02/26/2007 02:20 PM

Someone (other than me) being kicked in the head. I find that strangely hilarious.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/26/2007 02:30 PM

The girl at Eat found it strangely hilarious when I went in for the second time today to buy my bosses lunch. He missed the first round, because he didn't get to work until after one, and apparently he's incapable of walking half a block to buy his own damn food.

She laughed and laughed, and I found it strangely difficult to keep myself from punching her in the face.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
02/26/2007 02:33 PM

Maybe she spit in the food the first time.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/26/2007 02:36 PM

Nah, it's pre-made and she has no hand in actually making it.

Someone else probably did though.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
02/26/2007 02:37 PM

You could just remind her she works in food service and so is at the bottom of the social scale.
That or get her name and prank call her.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/26/2007 02:40 PM

I guess you missed the point. I went and bought my lunch and my manager's lunch, and less than fifteen minutes later I was back, buying lunch for another boss that was too lazy to go get his own, even though I had just been out and it was his own fault because he was late.

Clearly, whatever level of service she is on, I am lower than it.

Jean(n) a durable cotton cloth; denim 47,787 51
02/26/2007 02:44 PM

SCB, also I apparently also find it funny to see someone being punched in the face. Great story. Sorry to hear it though. What an asshat that lazy boss is.

Jean(n) a durable cotton cloth; denim 47,787 51
02/26/2007 02:45 PM

also, I also like also using the word also too often.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/26/2007 02:58 PM

I find it hilarious when the rush-hour subway arrives and there are a bunch of Frostwipes standing in the doorway who won't move, even though there's a hobbling old lady with a cane standing next to me, likely hoping to not be late for her euthanasia. What makes it funnier is when I use my superior bulk to shove the slackers into each other. They don't dare say anything because I must know karate.

I find it hilarious when there's not enough room for me, about-to-die oldster, and the blind pregnant woman because some douche won't take off her backpack. What makes it funnier is when, after getting the stinkeye for asking said douche to please remove the luggage that makes her non-existent ass thrice the size of mine, I place a large, gooey booger on the handle of her pack's zipper. What kicks this one up a notch is that, apparently, my nose carries staphylococcus.

PumkinNoggin-Winning the race of a thousand wounds 56,642 8
02/26/2007 03:38 PM

Being called a "depressing loner" for sitting in the dark and watching it rain this morning out my office window. 20 mins later, the light bulb above the coworker who labeled me such blew out, showering her desk (and new haird0) with bits of glass.


My PSFM had NOTHING to do with it, although he is now mysteriously on the other side of her cube.

Daves not here. 52,827 16
02/26/2007 03:43 PM

I find the movie "Alive" inexplicably funny. Every time they get to the scene where the guy frantically tries to buckle his seatbelt only to have the entire seat fly out of the plane with him in it I start laughing uncontrollably.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/26/2007 03:55 PM

Being called a "depressing loner" for sitting in the dark and watching it rain this morning out my office window.

/wrists?

PumkinNoggin-Winning the race of a thousand wounds 56,642 8
02/26/2007 04:01 PM

what? I like sitting in the dark....and I'm too old for Emo.

Straw++ 98,000 37
02/26/2007 04:02 PM

"Depressing loner" is better than what she would have called you if she knew what you were really doing in there.

</obligatory>

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/26/2007 04:02 PM

Sorry, I just jump on any opportunity to use the /wrists joke.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/26/2007 04:06 PM

Way back in college, I used to watch "Blue Velvet" and "Pink Flamingos" once a month, just to keep my attitude up.

One time, I scored some liquid joyjoy juice from Senior House at MIT (they claimed that it was a lost batch made by Stan Owlsley hisself, but I call the fat daughter on that Shakespeare) and popped in the beta of Blue Velvet.

The fat guy is mowing his lawn, then he falls to the ground, his heart seizing.

I start laughing.

I don't stop until Sarah plain and tall (what's her name again? the one who sniffed a lot of glue in that other movie?) says, "Are you the one that found the ear?"

Good times.

Robin® 14,626 10
02/26/2007 04:16 PM

<action> is a geek</action> We watched a documentary on Chernobyl in highschool. I found it very funny when they explained the clean up process. After ruining many electronic devices and heavy machinery because the radiation melted key components they decided to send in their military. Now these soldiers are moving debris piece by piece and putting it into the lead container.

But the thing that made me fall out of my chair was when he was talking about his radiation monitor "This is the device that tells me when I have had my daily allotment of radiation."

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2007 05:38 PM

TableTtoJane, why is it that, I am not, liked by you, my bike, and Mike And Ike?

When you posted a link to a Cat in the Hat hat, I thought to myself "I know! I should make a really funny post in the style of Dr. Seuss!"
About 12.7 seconds later, I realized that it would take too much effort to make up a rhyming story, let alone a rhyming story that was funny or made any sense. That, and I seem to have lost my rhyming dictionary. I decided that I could shorten it by just saying I didn't like you. Because a mean spirited comment doesn't need to be very long.
To be honest, I don't really have an opinion of you yet. I'm trying this new thing where I give people time to prove themselves instead of just making a snap judgement. Except for the blacks. I can judge them with just one look.

You're not black, are you?

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2007 05:39 PM

And the shorter version-

I'm lazy and stupid. And it seems I'm racist, too. Which I never knew about myself.

Mrs. McHaggis for one whole year on 3/11 101,398 77
02/26/2007 05:39 PM

Hi Jane!

SquishedKitty 168 9
02/26/2007 05:40 PM

What I strangely find hilarious is when clients come to my work and DEMAND something that I can't LEGALLY do or approve. Then they start talking to me as if they have authority over me and know everything about my position. Then they think by yelling and swearing at me, it'll make me want to help them even more. After they begin to recite me their rights to god knows what, which don't even apply, as if I care because its going to change my mind. "Oh you want to speak to my manager, no please don't do that! I'll approve the $500 even though it only goes up to $158!" Dumbasses

syncope 49,019 14
02/26/2007 05:43 PM

When people post stories about their jobs/lives without enough backstory to explain what is supposed to make it funny.

O man this guy... 11 6
02/26/2007 05:43 PM

In my building heres this old man(i refer to as johnny from johnny's got a gun) He's 80 at least in a wheelchair, but heres the kicker he's blind. Due to the handicappedness he's been super sized to the 15 ft walking stick. making walking by him like a quick game of jump rope.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
02/26/2007 05:45 PM

My favorite part of Blue Velvet is when Kyle McLaughlin is dropping off Laura Dern, and Laura Dern's boyfriend comes up to start a fight- just then Isabella Rosalini walks up naked and disoriented and babbling.
Laura Dern's boyfriend says, "Who's that, your mom?"

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2007 05:49 PM

Hi, Undies! And in case I forget, congrats on making it through a year of marriage. Hopefully, I will be able to say this many more times.

21 Prams 80,728 42
02/26/2007 06:06 PM

Kicking Jean in the head.

Straw++ 98,000 37
02/26/2007 06:11 PM

And in case I forget, congrats on making it through a year of marriage. Hopefully, I will be able to say this many more times.

Because you predict she'll be divorcing and marrying men at year-long intervals?

Phuc 237,919 21
02/26/2007 06:14 PM

Mrs. McHaggis for one whole year on 3/11

Oh man. Your anniversary is also one of the lamest bands to ever stink up the airwaves.

My condolences.

syncope 49,019 14
02/26/2007 06:20 PM

one of the lamest bands to ever stink up the airwaves


You're just jealous that they got 12 singles out of one riff.

PumkinNoggin-Winning the race of a thousand wounds 56,642 8
02/26/2007 06:32 PM

Amber ain't the colour of his energy....it's Green.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
02/26/2007 06:37 PM

Well, I find it funny that Squished Kitty seems to work at a cash advance place, and that they seem to think it's humorous to come here and jump into a conversation about strangely humorous things without any humor at all.

Mrs. McHaggis for one whole year on 3/11 101,398 77
02/26/2007 06:49 PM

Mrs. McHaggis for one whole year on 3/11

Oh man. Your anniversary is also one of the lamest bands to ever stink up the airwaves.

Al, if I ever didn't thank you - you, then just let me do it now.

Mrs. McHaggis for one whole year on 3/11 101,398 77
02/26/2007 06:51 PM

And in case I forget, congrats on making it through a year of marriage. Hopefully, I will be able to say this many more times.

Because you predict she'll be divorcing and marrying men at year-long intervals?

Not likely. The insurance pays out after a year and a half.

Ms. I'm giving you up for Lent, Trixxie 65,026 15
02/26/2007 06:54 PM

Cal Thomas articles or anything Pat Robertson says.