That's What She Said 27,416 24
02/28/2007 02:47 PM

Make it "Chicken Run" and chicken.

That's What She Said 27,416 24
02/28/2007 02:48 PM

Or Oooohh!!! "Chicken Run" and Chicken Pot Pie!

Pigmata 54,807 10
02/28/2007 02:52 PM

When your little one asks what's for dinner you need to answer "Wilber."

Tweak 18,881 12
02/28/2007 03:30 PM

Put on "Babe."






Then feed them a farmer.

Tweak 18,881 12
02/28/2007 03:30 PM

Or maybe a sheepdog.

syncope 49,019 14
02/28/2007 03:31 PM

If you're watching "Dora" shouldn't you be eating a monkey and a small Mexican girl?

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
02/28/2007 03:36 PM

My kid watches Dora. The monkey, Boots, walks talks and basically has the same intellectual capabilities as Dora. Yet, when they go to bed, Boots sleeps on a little mattress on the floor while Dora sleeps in a nice bed.
If I was Boots I'd be pissed.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
02/28/2007 03:38 PM

Show them Caspar the Friendly Ghost and feed them nothing.

TorchAteTeen 3,239 8
02/28/2007 03:41 PM

Show them An Inconvenient Truth and feed them a line of Shakespeare.

Tweak 18,881 12
02/28/2007 03:41 PM

Keep this whole pattern up for a week or so, and make sure they're completely aware of how it works. Then take pictures of their reaction when you show them one of your more recent home movies.

Sharri 14,124 11
02/28/2007 03:48 PM

This calls for a story. I packed this one away for a rainy day. It is sunny and gorgeous out today, but whatever.

So I saw the movie Chicken Little and was not impressed. After seeing A Bug's Life and Nemo and all the other new children's animated movies, I was expecting to be wowed. It was the story with a slight twist, nothing super-duper. I was relaying this to my family at Thanksgiving a year or more ago while the movie was still out. I said something to the effect of "Don't go to see the movie in the theatre, just rent it, I was not impressed. It was the exact story everyone knows." My significant other piped in with "Yeah, it was just like the Passion of the Christ, you knew everything that happened."

Have I ever mentioned my pop is an Episcopal priest? He was not amused. My siblings were dumfounded and then broke into laughter, nervous at first, then a good hearty roar.

Definetly a favorite moment to recount at family gatherings.

Pubah 56,805 18
03/01/2007 01:51 AM

I'm a twisted Parent

Tell your kids to get you off The Rack

the delicious Captain Skippy 41,253 13
03/01/2007 01:57 AM

The Aristacats and Chinese Food.

Humphrey – Now with Dual HDMI Output. 51,764 12
03/01/2007 02:01 AM

When Harry met Sally. Then fake an orgasm in the kitchen.









I don't think I'm doing this right.

Pubah 56,805 18
03/01/2007 02:12 AM

She wasn't faking. She was just glad to be in the movie.

DoubleE 238 6
03/01/2007 03:25 AM

Watch "Willy Wonka (or Charlie) and the Chocolate Factory". Then feed them Oompa Loompas.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/01/2007 03:28 AM

Have I ever mentioned my pop is an Episcopal priest?

Bitchin. So you get, like, all the dumb play-acting stuff the Catholics get but none of the conviction.

miss meg, if you please 1,967 0
03/01/2007 03:39 AM

Speaking of Dora the Explorer, my friend's neice has the video game, and in one part, Dora's jeep stops, and a Mexican steals the tires. Seriously.

Phlanx!?! 1,919 8
03/01/2007 04:05 AM

Put on Aliens, then feed your kids,




to the aliens.

Some Damned Thing 68,497 19
03/01/2007 04:06 AM

Let them watch Soylent Green.

Sharri 14,124 11
03/01/2007 04:11 AM

Have I ever mentioned my pop is an Episcopal priest?

Bitchin. So you get, like, all the dumb play-acting stuff the Catholics get but none of the conviction.

Hah. I said he is Episcopal. I didn't say I am.

MC Special Needs 161,353 14
03/01/2007 04:13 AM

"Daddy, what's for supper?"

"92 Octane."

"I knew we shouldn't have watched 'Cars.'"

DinoExplosion 1,743 8
03/01/2007 04:43 AM

Show them Minority Report, then make them eat a Coleridge.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
03/01/2007 06:39 AM

Watch "Willy Wonka (or Charlie) and the Chocolate Factory". Then feed them Oompa Loompas.

Ooooh, I'm sorry, we were looking for ...and then take a dump on the table.

chuckletrousers 62 6
03/01/2007 06:54 AM

Bambi with large round, brown venison medallions.
Or show them Babar. I'm not aware of the availability of Rhino and Elephant though.

Sharri 14,124 11
03/01/2007 02:44 PM

Babar in legos.

GAchick 312 6
03/01/2007 04:48 PM

How about "Old Yeller" and takeout from the local Chinese.

GAchick 312 6
03/01/2007 04:49 PM

Which reminds me...down the street we have a Chinese buffet - and right beside it...I mean the buildings are connected is a vet's office.....hmmmm

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
03/01/2007 08:16 PM

That whole eating dogs thing doesn't bother me in the least.

When I die, feel free to eat me.

GAchick 312 6
03/01/2007 08:54 PM

I'd rather not wait until you die!

Oh wait...you mean like on that airplane that crashed in the Andes don't you?

PumkinNoggin-Winning the race of a thousand wounds 56,642 8
03/01/2007 08:57 PM

I'd rather not wait until you die!
Fresher meat that way?

GAchick 312 6
03/01/2007 09:03 PM

A girl has to have a hobby

PumkinNoggin-Winning the race of a thousand wounds 56,642 8
03/01/2007 09:06 PM

Around these parts, the hoby is showing your Girl Parts...
So let me be the first to say:

SUYT

Millie 116,988 28
03/01/2007 09:11 PM

<action>rolls eyes</action>

PumkinNoggin-Winning the race of a thousand wounds 56,642 8
03/01/2007 09:21 PM

What? SOMEBODY had to say it?

Phuc 237,919 21
03/01/2007 09:22 PM

No. No they didn't.

GAchick 312 6
03/02/2007 02:51 PM

SUYT?? Darlin - Mardi Gras ended last week.

PumkinNoggin-Winning the race of a thousand wounds 56,642 8
03/02/2007 02:52 PM

SUYT?? Darlin - Mardi Gras ended last week.

So, what, You gave up your tits for Lent or something?

the delicious Captain Skippy 41,253 13
03/02/2007 02:54 PM

It's a requirement, we have a whole page dedicated to them.

Chix - 07 in 07 286,539 61
03/02/2007 03:00 PM

Watch the Aristocrats and then take your daughter and ......



oh, I just cannot make this joke.

GAchick 312 6
03/02/2007 03:03 PM

Requirement - dang, I must have missed that in the rules and regulations section.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
03/02/2007 03:17 PM

I was thinking Motel Hell, The Stuff and who framed roger rabbit.

Straw+ 98,000 37
03/02/2007 03:24 PM

The Stuff! The only thing I remember about that movie was the beginning. Some dudes find this white stuff oozing up out of the ground. One of them bends down and scoops some onto his finger and tastes it. Then he decides to package it and sell it to people.

My suspension of disbelief snapped right in two about that point.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/02/2007 03:28 PM

"It takes all kindsa critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters."

I got a lot of my eating habits from that movie.

miss meg, if you please 1,967 0
03/02/2007 10:00 PM

Which reminds me...down the street we have a Chinese buffet - and right beside it...I mean the buildings are connected is a vet's office.....hmmmm


Oh my god! I thought that was only in my town!

PumpkinNoggin-spelling champion 56,642 8
03/02/2007 10:05 PM

Back in my Uni years there was a nasty little Cantonese Restaurant (like there are other kinds?) with the name of "Fido Cantonese".

Turns out someone in the family who came over thought Fido sounded like a "Good American Sur Name"....they didn't last long before it was changed to "Hunan Gardens"....the food wasn't any better, just hotter.