Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 01:43 PM

The Freebirth

You're at a party. Maybe in the middle of the day. Perhaps a Nascar race is on. You have a nice, long, beer and burger induced poop with some sort of long, righteous "solo" somewhere in the middle. Make no mistake, lighters will be involved. It will be memorable for everyone who was there.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/02/2007 01:47 PM

I'm hungry.

That's What She Said 27,416 24
04/02/2007 02:00 PM

Whatever you do, please DON'T post pictures.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 02:04 PM

The Maha

All the dookie you can, but no pee.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 02:15 PM

The Freebirth - One small buttplug of solid matter followed by a not-so-solid stream that just want's its freedom.

That's What She Said 27,416 24
04/02/2007 02:16 PM

That's the "afterbirth"

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 02:16 PM

The Happy Spew- nothing solid at all here folks, you're just happy you made it to the toilet without skidmarking your tighty whities. You might want to clean the toilet after this one as backsplash may be an issue.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 02:17 PM

The PhiShakespeare never ends, and it stinks so bad, even you can't stand it so you have to keep lighting up just to get through it.

MAX POWERS 68,758 11
04/02/2007 02:18 PM

The Illusionist.

You sit on the toilet for the normal amount of time. You feel several turds escape. You even smell them. You wipe. Nothing. You look in the bowl empty.


TADAA!!

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
04/02/2007 02:19 PM

The paperwork

After you're done with your poop, you need the entire roll of paper, including the piece of cardboard in the middle, and the sudoku grid you were working on to complete the wiping job. And it will still leave skidmarks on your underwear.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 02:21 PM

Torpedo Tube #2 - You've been camping or whatever for the weekend and you've cautiously avoided the porta-johns that were available all weekend. You hit the first greasy spoon diner you pass on your way home and drop Torpedo #1 that miraculously finally armed itself with the inherent knowledge of the presence of nearby porcelain. You do your paperwork, and stand up with the knowledge that the waitress probably has brought your hamburger and fries while you were busy. Right about the time you wash your hands and are ready to leave the bathroom, Torpedo #2 drops into the tube.

MAX POWERS 68,758 11
04/02/2007 02:24 PM

The Out of Towner

You have been on vacation eating strange foods and doing wierd things you normally don't do. Wierd smell, and it always leaves a few skid marks on the bowl on it's way down.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 02:25 PM

The Kamikazi-

One so large you scream as it comes down. When it finaly lands it's a large splash and blood everywhere.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/02/2007 02:40 PM

Really hungry.

MAX POWERS 68,758 11
04/02/2007 02:50 PM

The Pram Splatters


Chronic unexplainable attacks of diarrhea.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/02/2007 02:52 PM

It's OK guys! I got myself some chocolate chip cookies and milk. The milk is in a mug with a cow on it called Elsie.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 02:53 PM

The Grissom

Seems OK coming out, but when you check out the bowl, it's writhing with worms and maggots.

Hello! Nice Zolton! Thank you! 88,200 34
04/02/2007 02:54 PM

The Blue Man Poop:

It's bewildering. It's hot and cramped, there are strange noises you've never heard before, and -- are those things marshmallows? It's hard to tell.

It'll last for an hour and a half, and you won't understand a bit of it. You may leave the room stained a different color than when you entered, and by the end, there'll be toilet paper everywhere. And if you're sitting in the 'poncho section', look out.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 02:58 PM

The milk is in a mug with a cow on it called Elsie.

Elsie? Just beware of a jar with her hubbie Elmer on it, you don't want to drink that.

Fake Colorful Easter Basket Straw 98,000 37
04/02/2007 03:01 PM

The Commitment-Phobe: Keeps indicating that it's time for something solid and long-lasting, but when you start heading for the altar, it backs off and says it's not ready yet.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/02/2007 03:02 PM

This is her! The bottom mug is called Elsie and the top one is called Maureen. Sometimes I drink diet coke from them.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 03:02 PM

The Instant Reminder - In which you stand up and take a look and immediately remember the corn on the cob you ate yesterday.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 03:03 PM

The Italian Wonder - in which you cut loose and the garlic smells just as good as it did last night on that awesome pasta dish

Fake Colorful Easter Basket Straw 98,000 37
04/02/2007 03:04 PM

Chix, where is your icon?

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 03:06 PM

The Jesus

Is at the bottom of the bowl and mysteriously rises to the top for no apparent reason. See also, Floats.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 03:07 PM

Probably hiding out with the Un-bold promt.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 03:09 PM

Windows Vista- It looks like Shakespeare, runs when you don't want it to, drops when you least expect it and isn't compatible with most toilets.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 03:14 PM

The Casserole: common for people who don't chew their food well enough.

Ring Around the Collar 3,671 9
04/02/2007 03:17 PM

The Kyoto: barely disturbs the water when it hits it, leaves no bad smell and produces no noxious gas, leaves no skidmark in the john and your paperwork is barely stained...

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
04/02/2007 03:18 PM

The Internet celebrity

You're lying on your back in the bathtub with your ankles over your head, wearing your schoolgirl clothes, getting ready to take your daily shooting diarrhea and let it land on your face, just the way you enjoy it, but for some reason, today there is a photographer in the bathroom.

MAX POWERS 68,758 11
04/02/2007 03:20 PM

The Trixie

also known as the "Tuna Can Turd"


This turd is bigger around than it is long. It's usually preceded by the cream of some young guy.

Ring Around the Collar 3,671 9
04/02/2007 03:20 PM

That is serious drug you're taking...

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 03:20 PM

Sputtering Exhaust

When you have so much gas building up behind the poo that you don't even have to push. You just loosen up and let the farts to blow out of your anus, propelling chunks of poo with enough force that they fragment before hitting the water.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 03:25 PM

The DB Cooper- You takes your Shakespeare, then when you go to wipe, it's as though nothing came out. Clean as a whistle on the first wipe. A clean getaway.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 03:26 PM

The Klingon - opposite number of the DB Cooper, in which you think you're done, so you go to wipe, only to find out there was a hanger oner who is now smeared all over the exit ramp and you'll be using the rest of a roll on the cleanup.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 03:27 PM

The Python

Firm enough that it doesn't fall apart, yet flexible enough to curl in the toilet bowl. It's the bathroom equivalent of removing an orange peel in one piece.

Ring Around the Collar 3,671 9
04/02/2007 03:28 PM

The spaghetti: you feel bloated, you sit down and give it a push, and what comes out is a thin, pasty, seemingly never-ending string of Shakespeare.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 03:34 PM

The Greg Louganis

Everything seems fine, then the poop manages to hit the side of your butt cheek, lands in the water awkwardly and makes an awful splash and when you wipe there's blood. You don't tell anybody.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 03:34 PM

The Toothpaste tube:

Worse than a Klingon. You can feel a bit still in there, too far in to pinch out with the sphincter, but far enough out that the muscles can't puShakespeare any further. Since there's nothing behind it, it won't come out no matter how much you squeeze.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 03:37 PM

The Alien:

The result of eating too much food with artificial color, such as certain candies or cereals. The poop is bright green, and sometimes it will even dye the water blue.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 03:38 PM

The Karl Rove

A massive grogan of unprecedented proportions, you manage to squeeze it out with only minor tears to the O-ring, but the ordeal leaves you spasming.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/02/2007 03:40 PM

Boys (and Straw) are gross.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
04/02/2007 03:41 PM

The girl from Ipanema

Tall, tan, young and lovely. When she passes, you go "ahhh."

TheFoye 55,700 16
04/02/2007 03:41 PM

The Flaming turd:

After eating copious amounts of spicy food. You will feel this one for the rest of the day as your ass finishs melting.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 03:43 PM

The Mighty Seqouia:

Long, thick, and as dense as a neutron star. It gets lodged sideways in the bottom of the toilet, and no matter how much you fluShakespeare won't break. If you've already wiped, the toilet paper will probably get wrapped around this "Poo-ver Dam" and completely clog the toilet.

Fake Colorful Easter Basket Straw 98,000 37
04/02/2007 03:45 PM

Wow, it's true. I'm the only chick that submitted one. At least I girlified it.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
04/02/2007 03:46 PM

The frightened turtle

You push hard. You push so hard that you feel your temples about to explode. You can feel the turtle poking out, but not ready to drop just yet. You need to take a breath, and as you do, the turtle crawls back inside, forcing you to start the excruciating pushing job all over again.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 03:54 PM

<action>waits for Turtle to come up with "the frightened mailman"</action>

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 03:54 PM

The Prius- at first it's slow and hot like electricity, suddenly it gets gassy and is coming out fast. When you wipe, it's very green.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 03:57 PM

The Jalapeo Regret - see: flaming turd above but add a personal promise never to order Jalapeo poppers after a few beers ever again.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 03:58 PM

The Frightened Mailman- You can sit there all day, but he aint coming.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/02/2007 03:59 PM

The Palahnuik: The same Shakespeare, over and over.

KChikita - Wild White Nacho 128,316 98
04/02/2007 04:03 PM

Florida Swamp Water:

You get up the morning after a night of heinous binge drinking, suddenly feel your guts start boiling, and make it to the toilet just in time for everything to settle down again. When you finally break the seal, while attempting to avoid vomiting from the strain, you expel a mighty amount of loose watery poo into the bowl, creating a mixture similar to swamp water.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 04:04 PM

The April Fool - The cramps make you feel like this will be the Shakespeare of your life. Yet, when you finally take a seat, nothing but gas. It's hayday was in the years of the public pay-toilet where it got it's own little oft repeated poem,
Here I sit all broken hearted,
Paid a dime and only farted.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/02/2007 04:04 PM

The Old Dog: Its bark is worse than its bite.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 04:06 PM

The Hillary

It's running, but it ain't brown and it ain't gonna stick around much longer.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 04:09 PM

The W - Despite all promises to the contrary, it comes out just as slimy as the other guys.

Tweak 18,881 12
04/02/2007 04:12 PM

The Captain Skippy:

Way too loud after a night of drinking, and nowhere near as funny as it seemed when you were a kid.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 04:12 PM

Shotgun

A big plug with a lot of gas behind it. Like its namesake, this poo has a lot of recoil.

Fezig 3,711 7
04/02/2007 04:17 PM

The mother in-law

You want it to leave, but no matter how hard you try, no matter how muck pain, it just won't come out.

Fezig 3,711 7
04/02/2007 04:18 PM

The Hello!!!

You Shakespeare, flush, and the bowl empties, a little turdlet floasts back to surface!

Tweak 18,881 12
04/02/2007 04:18 PM

The Imposter

You aren't on the toilet. You think it's a fart. You feel a warm, wet sensation quickly fill your pants. You see a hobo passed out in the gutter. You desperately hope his pants are the same size as yours.

Snork 45,655 12
04/02/2007 04:27 PM

The Lincoln Log:

Lincoln's petrified grogan. Used in the less well know White House ceremonies.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 04:28 PM

The Preteen Poo

He's not really taking a dump. The kid is just using a bathroom break as a cover while he jacks off.

Fezig 3,711 7
04/02/2007 04:33 PM

The Captain Kirk -

Knowing that there isn't a bathroom in sight, you hide behind the largest object, monument or building to boldy go where no one has gone before.

Tweak 18,881 12
04/02/2007 04:44 PM

On a related note, during a wild, drunken night in the city last Saturday, I found myself alone in the middle of a park at about 3.30am. Several miles from the nearest serviceable toilet, I found I needed to take the biggest Shakespeare of my life.

Very very drunk, I sort of hid behind a small tree in what I thought was a poorly-lit area. Crouching, leaning back on one hand, I unzipped, dropped my pants and let fly. After a minute or so, I heard voices coming towards me.

In hindsight, this isn't at all surprising. It turned out I was in a pretty well-lit area, about twenty feet from a relatively busy road, and about three feet from the footpath. At the time, I didn't think the young, romantic couple noticed me, but looking back, they must have known exactly what I'd been doing as I hastily pulled my pants up and walked past them, struggling with my zipper.

I didn't tell many of my friends about this one.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 04:55 PM

The Woodsy

A hiking dump. You have to find a spot off the trail, away from a water source, and not visible to passersby, unless you're into that thing.

It's best to find a downed tree on which to sit, and ground that is soft enough to dig a hole. You must be as neat as possible to conserve TP (or just go nuts and hope the leaves on hand are not poisonous).

Return in a year to see what has sprouted from the seed you have planted.

Caga Palo 683 7
04/02/2007 06:00 PM

The Proud Parent

You take a huge Shakespeare that you are so proud of that you just have to brag to all your friends about it.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 06:12 PM

The Michael Jordon- You run down court to get to the bathroom; You get to the bucket, get a bunch of air then BLAM, slam dunk.

UnderEgg 101,398 77
04/02/2007 06:14 PM

...

Ms. I'm giving you up for Lent, Trixxie 65,026 15
04/02/2007 06:17 PM

This thread's popularity confirms both my best and worst opinions of this place.

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
04/02/2007 06:19 PM

"Peanut Butter Poo"
(not to be confused with "Peanut Poo" , which is altogether different)
Ahem. Peanut Butter Poo: Poo that is the exact consistency of peanut butter usually requiring the use of a baby wipe.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 06:21 PM

The Jilly

You stand at the urinal with your zipper down and you Shakespeare your pants.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 06:21 PM

The High Score - has little to do with the poop but rather time spent playing tetris on your cell phone so that you stumble back to your desk with both legs asleep.

300 Spartans and a Taco 61,976 36
04/02/2007 06:21 PM

This thread keeps popping up next to the "money where our mouths are" thread, and reading the two thread titles in close proximity is really starting to make me gag.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 06:22 PM

The Jilly2- the bowl is filled with little diamond shaped poos after filtering through the mesh bag of nightmares which you forgot to lower in your drunken stupor.

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
04/02/2007 06:25 PM

The Jilly

You stand at the urinal with your zipper down and you Shakespeare your pants.

CORRECTION
"The Jilly" is not performed in front of a urinal...it's in the ladies room in front of a regular toilet.

300 Spartans and a Taco 61,976 36
04/02/2007 06:25 PM

So you tried to pee standing, and shat yourself?

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 06:26 PM

The Conspiracy Mohon

You know you ain't had no peanuts in the past month, but goddamnit if they aint staring you right in the face.

300 Spartans and a Taco 61,976 36
04/02/2007 06:26 PM

It's probably a parasite. Try laying off the dried fish trail mix.

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
04/02/2007 06:26 PM

I prefer the term "shart".

300 Spartans and a Taco 61,976 36
04/02/2007 06:29 PM

Sharting is when you fart and Shakespeare comes out. Shat is the past tense of Shakespeare. The two are not interchangable.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/02/2007 06:29 PM

The Secret Poo:

Strong enough to gag a man but made by a woman.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 06:30 PM

Now where'd I put that experts thread?

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 06:33 PM

The Bunny Trail:

Run to the bathroom with a good book and the expectation of a satisfying time, only to spit out kibble size turds that almost tickle on the way out. Five or six of those rabbit turds and no more.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 06:35 PM

The Puck Foo

You had the pork buns, the watercress n' pork soup, the spicy salted squid and the barbecue pig ear.

When that come out the other end, it's gonna eat a hole all the way through the erf and end up where it came from.

Moist.Pork. 5,469 7
04/02/2007 06:36 PM

Photo Finish

Running as fast as you can, hurling yourself through crowds of old people, midgets and nuns, praying the whole time you can make it to the finish line. The force of this movement is so great that it demands freedom even before your asShakespeares the seat, it's almost too close to tell.

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
04/02/2007 06:36 PM

...turds that almost tickle on the way out.

bwahhhahhhah!! Poo that tickles... seriously the funniest thing I have heard all day.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 06:37 PM

Thunderdome

This thing is so massive that it's like two men entered and one man leave.... d.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
04/02/2007 06:47 PM

The office twins

Two turds in the bowl, laying side by side in front of the exit pipe. You flush several times, but neither will yield; both turds stay stuck in the bowl. You are in the office bathroom. There is a continuous flow of people entering and exiting the bathroom, so you cannot leave your gift in the bowl without getting caught by your colleagues. The stall is not equipped with a toilet brush.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 06:51 PM

The Fireman-
You feel a heat in your gut and the alarms start sounding. You get to the bowl in time for it to come shooting out like the firemen down the pole.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 06:54 PM

I think tickling poo requires butt hair.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 06:57 PM

The Widow Web:

On a hot day, Shakespeare-ing can be sweaty work. As you wipe, tangles of sweaty butt hair and poo are ripped out to the sound of a breaking Black Widow web.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 07:00 PM

The Poe Poo:

After about a half hour on the toilet, your cat comes in and insists that you put the book down and pet her. Ignoring her does no good as she will paw the book right out of your hands and knock your ashtray into the bathtub.

Fezig 3,711 7
04/02/2007 07:04 PM

The Symphony Poo


The sounds that release it and size of it are a movement that even Beethoveen would be proud of.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:05 PM

The Hunter S. Thompson

You do alot of multicolored drugs, and wake up on the toilet, and when you stand up, a long poop, partially in the toilet, and partially still turtling, held together by what seemes to be silly string, although you can't remember consuming any, hits you in the back of the leg, and you can't decide what to do.

God, I hate those.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 07:06 PM

The Trixxie

You take a Shakespeare in two different places at the same time and you swear to God that neither of them stink.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 07:07 PM

Secretariat

Back in my mid 20s, I worked in IT for the Whole Foods. Part of my job involved being the store manager for one day a week. This was a task that I took very seriously and it was put to the test The Day the Bathroom Was Closed.

People just kept telling me that the bathroom was closed, and I figured that when the maintenance guy came in, he'd fix it. It was a busy day and I had my hands full stealing carob-covered peanuts keeping shifts covered and making sure the Russian customers weren't pocketing too many yams.

When there was a lull in bidness, I asked the butcher how exactly the bathroom was broken. He said, "It's not broken. The toilet is clogged. It's been that way since the bread delivery guy came in this morning at 5 AM."

So I opened the door to the loo. What greeted me was not just a palpable wave of gut-rotting stank, but a sight which I'll not forget til my dying day: A mohon the width of a can of Knudsens' Just Cranberry and the length of a loaf of sprouted spelt bread stared out at me like a brown demon from a kind of German scheisse hell.

I went back to the butcher to ask if he had a plunger. "Sure thing," he says, picking up the implement, "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

"No," says I "I'm the manager today, and if I back down on this, I'll lose street cred amongst the prepared food people." (those bastards were the toughest of the hippie store employees, known to shank one of their own if he so much as mentioned ordering out for lunch).

I got 'er done. I got a round of applause from the loading dock crew and the meat department.

I'm kind of like Superman, except my clothes aren't so gay.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:08 PM

The Chi-Chi Felipe

When you feel one coming on, so you run to the toilet and sit there for hours, trying to push one little turd through, thinking "At least when this one gets out, the rest of it will come smoothly". But when you finally get something just a little decent out, you're stopped up again on your next poop.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 07:08 PM

The Not-My-Poo - Where you go into the public bathroom to find one stall locked and the other filled and stopped up. You backpedal out of the stall just as someone else enters with that ground-hogging look on his face. He dives into the stall he just saw you leaving only to find the same horror you did. But he comes out and gives you the dirty look like you did it. "NOT MY POO!" you yell at him. He goes back out into the restaurant but you are so devastated by his misunderstanding that you follow him through the restaurant screaming "NOT MY POO!" at his back.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 07:11 PM

I'm kind of like Superman, except my clothes aren't so gay.

Al, the superman of Shakespeare.

Fezig 3,711 7
04/02/2007 07:13 PM

The Actor Poo - aka Yuppiee Poo

While taking a dump in one stall, there is a person in the other on his cell phone trying to hide the fact that he is on the can. You proceed to groan loudly and say such things as, "Man that was huge!" or "Behold the Power of Corn!"

You then end the perform by flushing you toilet (which sounds like a jet engine) at least 2-3 times.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 07:16 PM

"Behold the Power of Corn!"

Lord, I want that on a tshirt.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:17 PM

The Chickens Poop

A slight variation on the "Not-My-Poop". When you're out with a bunch of friends, and you encounter a locked stall and one that has a giant poop in it, but the poop is so perfect, that you just have to take responsiblity for it, so you enter the stall, and sit down for a minute, strainging and grunting (Note: this only works if you don't have to poop too bad. If its pretty urgent, then you can poop right into the bowl along with the super-poop and look amazing.) and then when you're done, exit the stall and let your friend come in behind you. That'll show him.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 07:19 PM

When I was in the Army, I was at the 50 Cal range. The toilet there is a wooden bench with 4 holes in it that drops into a vat of 2ft deep excrement and piss. Lucky us, the Shakespeare-vacuum guy just happened to show up as we were counting extra ammo and leaving. He found a pack of cigarettes in the underground puddle.

My friend and I were busy trying to look busy, but the sergeant did so love to Frost us, so guess who got the detail? The Shakespeare-vacuum guy came over with a mocking grin and handed us a 10ft long pole with a scooper on the end and told us to have fun. Communal Shakespeare smells bad as you may have suspected and this pickle-buffer was Frost-ing mocking us on top of having to do this Shakespeare (pun) job. We painstakingly scooped up a healthy shovel full of liquefied poo and dumped it all over his tools. Bet that sucked for him.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:20 PM

The Taffic-Jam Poop

When you're in the middle of a nice poop, and someone who lives in your house, comes up to the door to ask you something, and ends up having a while conversation while you're trying to take a poop, so you have to stop the presses, and keep that poop bottled up until the annoying patron leaves.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 07:23 PM

The Grateful Poop

Porta-Potties at a sold-out Grateful Dead Buffalo stadium show.

e-nuff said.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 07:25 PM

The STFU poo:

Kids think it's funny to pound on the door and shove paper under it or ask you for a sandwich.
Wives think it's funny to come up with important things that must be discussed NOW.
So what if I spend an hour on the toilet, it's a good book and the most peaceful room of the house.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:27 PM

The "Leave without me, guys!" Poop

When you're with a group of people at a restaraunt, and its nearing the end of the meal, and you excuse yourself to go poop, effectively saving yourself your share of the bill, and when you get to the toilet, you realize that this will not be a quick Shakespeare. So you sit there for 20 minutes, working on just one poop, until finally your cell phone rings, and you pick up, and your friend on the other line goes "Hey man, what the Frost? What are you, jerking off to nuns? Get the Frost over here, we're gonna be late to the movie, Shakespearehead." and you look at your watch, and gague the pressure on your anus, and reply "Leave without me, guys!", and finish your poop in peace.

Captain Skippy, fabulous Pirate 41,253 13
04/02/2007 07:30 PM

Testicle Tickler:

a poop that has a curl to it as it emerges and nips the back of your scrotum forcing you to reach down and pull it out of harms way and then take a shower afterwards. Optionally some choose to apply a bit of peanut butter and let the dog clean them off.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:31 PM

The Tom Waits Shakespeare

When you're pooping, and straining pretty hard, so you start to sing to pass the time, and you notice how remarkably simliar your voice sounds to Tom Waits'.

Briham is the Reason Waldo is Hiding 38,843 10
04/02/2007 07:31 PM

The Boy Scout:

This one is done on an outdoor latrine. First, you take a deep breath, since you don't want to breathe once you enter the latrine. Next, you brush the cobwebs off of the toilet paper and use it to cover the seat of the "toilet," which is really just a metal cylinder with a lid screwed onto it. You try to do your business as quickly as you can, taking breaths only when necessary, and praying the entire time that the family of bats roosting in the ceiling directly above your head don't wake up. Before you pull up your pants, be sure to check for Daddy long-legs and other bugs that may have crawled into your underwear while you were on the can.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:32 PM

Damn Skippy, why you gotta get so crude, all of a sudden?

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 07:34 PM

The Cannonball:

The front row will get wet.
Warning: splash from this type of poo may cause Widow Web.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 07:34 PM

The Yellow Cannonball:

Forgot to flush after a piss.
See Cannonball...

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 07:45 PM

The Hors D'oeuvres

When you've had so much corn you decide to throw a party and serve it again.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 07:46 PM

that's a thread-ender right there yo.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/02/2007 07:48 PM

How fitting

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 07:49 PM

Note to self...avoid the corn at Frats parties

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 07:52 PM

The Jedi Mind Trick

Your Jefferson Starfish was positioned right over the pool.

It came out clean.

You heard the "sploosh."

But somehow, there's track marks all over the side of the bowl.

Captain Skippy, fabulous Pirate 41,253 13
04/02/2007 07:53 PM

I hear the sausage balls are not to be trusted either.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 07:58 PM

The Wrath of Khan

You swear you cleared your bowels with that first salvo. How could there possibly be anything left in the system when it has obviously been so thoroughly purged?

Then it happens: You're in a meeting. You're walking to school. You've just sat down to enjoy a plate of piping hot pasta. --and you've got incoming.

KChikita - Wild White Nacho 128,316 98
04/02/2007 08:01 PM

The LOTR Ending:

You're trying to ruShakespeare, knowing in the back of your mind that your attempts are futile, and when you think you've pinched off enough that you can save the rest for a more convenient time, you stand up and pull up your pants just in time for the turtle head to reappear.

That's What She Said 27,416 24
04/02/2007 08:01 PM

The Kegel Poop:

Ladies during their menstral cycles go to poop, and push enough so that their tampon comes out as well.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 08:06 PM

that's just wrong.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2007 08:08 PM

The Phantom Menace

Those kind of hot, acrid farts that are a portent of dump to come.

Attack of the Clones

One mohon after another in an endless procession.

Revenge of the Sith

Doesn't stink quite so bad as your last two sessions, but it still leaves you wishing you hadn't have bothered with the bran muffin.

Ring Around the Collar 3,671 9
04/02/2007 08:10 PM

<action> looks at main page, sees over 2000 orbs for this thread, with second best thread trailing by over a thousand orbs... </action>

Yep, you gotta love them Shakespeare jokes.

TheFoye 55,700 16
04/02/2007 08:12 PM

The Blumpkin poop: Do I really need to spell this one out for you?

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
04/02/2007 08:16 PM

The Volcano: When your dump piles up in a cone and crests the surface of the toilet water, like a mighty volcano rising above the ocean's surface.

The Give and Go: When you go to Vegas or Atlantic City with your buddies and share a hotel room - you wake up first, get in the bathroom while everyone is sleeping, take a huge dump and then go downstairs to get breakfast and coffee while the other guys stay in the room with the stink you've created.

That's What She Said 27,416 24
04/02/2007 08:20 PM

<action>is too lazy to see if this has been posted already</action>

The Upper Decker:

Taking a poop in the top part of the toilet instead of in the bowl, then waiting until your roommate or signifigant other discovers it from its smell.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
04/02/2007 08:23 PM

The Dutch Oven taken too far

Self-explanatory.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 08:23 PM

Note to sell #2: NEVER EVER have TWSS over to clean house.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
04/02/2007 08:25 PM

"You ever take a dump made you feel like you'd just slept for twelve hours?"

Ricky Roma, in Glengarry Glen Ross

I always thought that was a great line.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/02/2007 08:28 PM

The 'Tallica: Starts out hard as hell, but ends up runny and drippy.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
04/02/2007 08:32 PM

The Nightmare: When you flush the toilet and instead of going down, the water begins rising - you stand there in shocked horror at the thought of feces and water running onto the floor.

(if that's been posted, sorry- I looked but I didn't see it)

Ring Around the Collar 3,671 9
04/02/2007 08:33 PM

"You ever take a dump made you feel like you'd just slept for twelve hours?"

A friend of mine, very stone, had gotten and held this need to take a dump while on an hour long bus ride. Once at our other friend's place, he headed for the john to release the beast. So relieved and so stone was he that he actually passed out from the feeling of released pressure while sitting on the crapper!!11!!1!!

We heard his head thump on the ceramic floor from the living room some 20 feet away...

That's What She Said 27,416 24
04/02/2007 08:36 PM

Note to sell #2: NEVER EVER have TWSS over to clean house

Note to sell? Who the Frost is going to buy it?

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 08:53 PM

The MRE:

After several days of eating nothing but US MREs, you finally get motivated to take a dump. You bring "The General" (folding chair with a toilet seat welded to it) near a rock and dig your hole. You then proceed to drop individually sealed packets of "chunked and formed" MRE waste into the ground while flies try to bite your nuts. Fill the hole and Charlie Mike.

Oddly enough, I found these Shakespeares to be an overall pleasant experience.

seanieeeeee 7 6
04/02/2007 09:06 PM

the waterpark:
engineering reports that everything is normal, they say "proceed". you let loose your chocolate demon you hear a "sploosh" and feel, to your horror, a watercannon go off in the direction of your bottom

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 09:13 PM

Your name is irritating. And yes everybody, this from the guy who calls himself Smokatronic.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/02/2007 09:16 PM

The IN and OUT-
You rush in, drop off the kids at the pool and rush out. Quick and simple.

KChikita - Wild White Nacho 128,316 98
04/02/2007 09:20 PM

(On a related note)

The Selfish Pooper:

The roommate that uses AN ENTIRE Frost-ing ROLL of toilet paper in less than a week, angering you into requiring them to purchase toilet paper, but when they do, they buy the cheapest 1-ply sandpaper TP they can find because they're a total cheapskate/spent all their money on liquor.

</bitter>

Dave 52,827 16
04/02/2007 09:21 PM

The Iraq

You have a very successful opening and drop many bombs, but then you find the there's some Shakespeare leftover no matter how many times you wipe and eventually you have to decide whether to keep going until it's a raw bloody mess or just clean up as well as you can and leave things kind of Shakespearety.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 09:25 PM

Boy, do I know GAB's wheelhouse or what?

Mrs. JM 24,693 8
04/02/2007 09:58 PM

Butt vomit: when one takes a poop and all but their intestines come out in a spray-like fasion, like throwing up out of your butt. My sister actually called me the other night, and she was all, "Oh mah gah, I totally threw up out of my butt."

MAX POWERS 68,758 11
04/02/2007 10:00 PM

Is she single?

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 10:02 PM

KChikita, sounds like you've met my roommate. Does yours whine like a teenage girl every time you ask him to pick up his own beer cans?

I am Jolson's raging bile duct 16,163 11
04/02/2007 10:13 PM

The Destroyer

You lob a depth charge so unexpectedly massive that it cracks the bowl upon impact.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/02/2007 10:39 PM

Ninja Assassin:

20 minutes after he's gone, the poison begins to work and you must rewipe your itchy ass. There is blood on the TP.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/02/2007 11:03 PM

My last for the day

The Gas Giant - you drop what you think is a normal poo, then you go around doing your regular business and walk back by the bathroom only to be highly sickened by the smell of your own poo. "Shakespeare, was that me?"

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/02/2007 11:13 PM

The Vista: takes forever to come out, and when it does it still stinks.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/02/2007 11:29 PM

Blind Date

You've done all the legwork and when its time for the payoff it doesn't look nearly like what you imagined it would.

Thrakkorzog 360 7
04/03/2007 12:08 AM

The Penile Poop - poop that through some fluke of the digestive system comes out looking exactly like a giant Coleridge.

Thrakkorzog 360 7
04/03/2007 12:10 AM

The Farm Animal<b/> - my brother used to have this problem - Shakespeare so huge you would swear it could not be left by anything smaller than a Yeti. We used to have to let it stew for a few hours just to get it to go down the pipe.

Thrakkorzog 360 7
04/03/2007 12:11 AM

(sorry HTML skilz busted today)

KChikita - Wild White Nacho 128,316 98
04/03/2007 12:28 AM

The Hovercraft:

When all the toilets are covered in filth and disease, but you really don't want to Shakespeare your pants so you hover over the bowl, quadruceps screaming in agony, and when you finally release the beast, the transfer of weight almost makes you fall forward onto your face.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/03/2007 01:54 AM

The ChiChi-
Same Shakespeare, different bowel, but just as funny.


*a nice way to say, I already did the Vista

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 01:55 AM

Log

It rolls downstairs
Alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog
It fits on your back
It's great for a snack
It's log log log.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/03/2007 01:56 AM

Oh.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/03/2007 01:57 AM

The Chevrolet: just another pile of Shakespeare.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/03/2007 01:57 AM

Uh...

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/03/2007 02:01 AM

Are you drinking?

King Dingaling 5,469 7
04/03/2007 02:03 AM

The "Aw Shakespeare!"

Im in the public stall freeing the slaves, and when I stand up and turn around to flush, my sunglasses fall off my head right into the Frost-ing toileAW Shakespeare!!

Thud 68,497 19
04/03/2007 02:40 AM

The Roger

No particular reason, I just name all my dumps Roger.

Phla Sucks. No, not like that. 131,068 34
04/03/2007 03:25 AM

Aw Shakespeare, Jilly's back?




...which coincidentally is also what I say when I look in the toilet.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/03/2007 03:34 AM

The Stargate

Leaves you with a big goofy grin on your face.

Tweak 18,881 12
04/03/2007 03:45 AM

But in this case, you don't want to Frost any of the characters.

Not even Teal'C.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 04:00 AM

The Cooler

Like a water cooler--liquiShakespeares that you have but to apply the smallest amount of pressure and it jets out. Let up just a little bit and not a drop comes out.

Silent, but Deadly 545 6
04/03/2007 05:14 AM

The Time Bomb

Shakespeare that exits at precisely 9:00am every day

Silent, but Deadly 545 6
04/03/2007 05:15 AM

...Shakespeare that exits at 9:00 am every day.

Tweak 18,881 12
04/03/2007 05:36 AM

Shakespeare that exits at precisely 9:00am every day

That'd be inconvenient for those of us who are still in bed at that time.

Dead Batteries in Jep's Vibe 2,533 9
04/03/2007 07:46 AM

The Lincoln

Large, ugly, and four score and seven years since you ate whatever came out.

SquidBoy 19,912 12
04/03/2007 10:59 AM

See here.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 11:15 AM

The Salad Bar

You ate a lot of rabbit food last night, and in case you forgot, it's coming back to remind you.

Any style of poo with lots of leafy greens mixed in.

Ranch, Italian, or Bleu Cheese?

Jeprechaun 58,758 13
04/03/2007 11:36 AM

The "Spinning Wheel"

Performed by Blood, Sweat and Tears.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 11:39 AM

Pay It Forward

You know it ain't going down. It ain't your terlet, so you don't even bother flushing, knowing that the overflow would betray you.

You wash your hands quickly and dry them on your pants as you rush to make a clean getaway.

Bonus: Your gift stinks as badly as that movie did.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 11:43 AM

The Irish Cat'lick

One for the ladies:
That was quite the splash! You turn to look before flushing and--Amrae n-amrae!--it's a wee bairn!

You name it Michael (meh, so what if it's a girl) and head out for confession and a pint.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 11:49 AM

The Jacksons

A bounty of turds, but while most of them are a nice healthy shade of burnt umber, one is off--the color of a blind albino cave hoek.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
04/03/2007 12:51 PM

Someone was up all night thinking about poo.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/03/2007 01:10 PM

The cooked starfish- This liqui-Shakespeare is yellow in color and so acidic your starfish instantly starts to sizzle as it passes by. If your starfish could scream, it would. You cannot wipe fast enough with the cooked starfish. A smear of hydrocortizone is highly recommended for the poor little burnt starfish.

Poor little starfish.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 01:35 PM

Girlie-girl, I dream poo.

Ms. I'm giving you up for Lent, Trixxie 65,026 15
04/03/2007 01:40 PM

The Last Night I baked a Big ole Spaghetti Squash and ate the whole thing by myself poop. It looked like a big ball of worms.

The I've been ass Frosted so long, hard, stupid and retarded I wont be able to Shakespeare for a week poop.

pretty much as the name goes.

Fezig 3,711 7
04/03/2007 02:52 PM

The Secret Double Shot -

After just taking a shower, you suddenly feel the need to hurl. You proceed to make an offering to the porcelin god on your knees. After seeing what you last ate for the second time, you notice a particular odor. You turn around and discover that you ralphed so violently that a large pile of poo is sitting right behind you and you never even felt it come out.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 03:09 PM

The Gold Medal

The perfect poop.

Bowels sufficiently evacuated (don't expect those maraschino cherries to budge until the coroner gets to them). Check.

Clean break--no skids or dingleberries. Check.

Odor enough to mark territory but not enough that you couldn't brush your teeth after one match. Check.

Satisfying sploosh with no splashback. Check.

Ms. I'm giving you up for Lent, Trixxie 65,026 15
04/03/2007 03:16 PM

Where are the pee orbs? ???

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/03/2007 03:21 PM

The server flushed them after X amount of posts....I get that from time to time as well.

300 Spartans and a Taco 61,976 36
04/03/2007 04:09 PM

The Egg Drop. You've eaten nothing unusual. You sit down to poo, and everything goes as it should. Suddenly, an overpowering stench of sulphur corrodes the paint from the walls. Ten dozen rotten eggs have nothing on this stench. Lighting a whole book of matches will not quell this beast, nor can a whole bottle of febreeze. You just have to leave the bathroom, lock the door, and pray the smell doesn't stay in you clothes.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 05:20 PM

So arouauseated.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/03/2007 05:40 PM

My burnt starfish isn't getting the love it deserves.

No, that is not an invitation.

Pumpkin Noggin Cotton Tail 56,642 8
04/03/2007 06:00 PM

Get some of this. 10,000 kids and Kim Crosby can't be wrong.

Blumpkin Noggin 56,642 8
04/03/2007 08:06 PM

the accidental tourist-
You're in the middle of a good one. The TP dispenser falls apart, and you watch the paper start to roll away. You stand up to retrieve it, momentarily forgetting what your doing, and before you know it, one of them has landed outside the bowl.

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
04/03/2007 08:15 PM

The Take 5: This is when you're so hung over at work, you don't have to take a dump, but you just go sit in the stall for 5 minutes because you can't stand sitting at your desk.
Also works to momentarily find peace and quiet from the wife and kids.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2007 08:22 PM

The Tolstoy

You get so engrossed in what you're reading that before you know it, you've been on the pot for over an hour and you've got a 'roid the size of your fist.

Fake Colorful Easter Basket Straw 98,000 37
04/03/2007 08:23 PM

Butt, wait! There's more!: You think you are all done, you wipe, stand up and zip up. Then you get that old feeling again.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 07:10 PM

the "OMG WHAT THE Frost DID I EAT YESTERDAY!"- it comes out normal, smells normal, wipes normal.....but it's blue.

Captain Skippy, fabulous Pirate 41,253 13
04/04/2007 07:15 PM

The date rape:

A hard stool that tears you up so bad you wake up in the morning with a sore ass feeling like you've been violated.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/04/2007 07:37 PM

The Give a Nigga a Courtesy Flush Shakespeare - where you're sitting in the public toilet and you smell so bad the guy in the next stall sez, "Give a Nigga a Courtesy Flush".

21 Prams 80,728 42
04/04/2007 08:27 PM

I lost my little Billy the other night. He was long and stringy.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/04/2007 10:18 PM

The Ditdah

You're so constipated. It's been, like, forever since your last dump.

Then, without warning, it arrives.

And it was worth the wait.

Come back, my little mohon.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/05/2007 05:16 AM

Only 4 more clickies, till this thread reaches 5000.

God, I hope that hell isn't like GAB. I do not want to stand knee deep in your guys' crap.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/05/2007 02:30 PM

The SCUBA diver: it comes out quick, goes under, then when you look, there are bubbles slowly rising to the surface.

Dave 52,827 16
04/05/2007 03:43 PM

the "OMG WHAT THE Frost DID I EAT YESTERDAY!"- it comes out normal, smells normal, wipes normal.....but it's blue.

Also known as the Gargamel

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/27/2007 02:57 PM

The Cracka

Its painful and annoying, clogs the toilet and causes the bathroom to get flooded, sending Shakespeare everywhere.

Also known as the Pumpkin or the Skippy.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/27/2007 02:58 PM

By the way, when I have the funniest thread of the month this place is surely doomed.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/27/2007 03:04 PM

Hey now! Pumpkin is VERY good for your system, keeps you regular...lots of ruffage.

turtle10 42,578 26
04/27/2007 03:14 PM

<bold>The Mailman</bold>

Comes about the same time everyday, Sometimes there is a lot, sometimes very little. Sometimes it shows up in the wrong deposit place.

With Mailman poops, you always need to flush twice.

Pram- shaken, not Lila 80,728 42
05/01/2007 06:18 PM

Olestra Potato Shakespeares

(self explanatory)

Pram- shaken, not Lila 80,728 42
05/01/2007 06:30 PM

also known as The Oil Painting, so named because when you puShakespeare feels like SANFORD 63615 is loosely falling out of your ass, you reach to wipe and the sheer volume of oil weighs down the toilet paper, with the end result looks as good as anything hanging in The Smithsonian.

See also: The National Endowment for the Arts.

Pram- shaken, not Lila 80,728 42
05/01/2007 06:44 PM

The Matt Damon

When you have to Shakespeare so bad, your ass sounds like it's mouthing the words "MATT DAMON" in a Borat voice as air whistles out with whatever food you've eaten in the last 36 hours as well as some of your teeth and then you feel a weird twinge where your legs meet, so you look in the mirror and notice that the hardness of the Shakespeare tore your ass a new smile complete with dimples.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/01/2007 08:38 PM

The Pumpkin

Lots of heinously stinky little turdlets. Lots.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/01/2007 08:40 PM

The Cracka

It's not poop. It just looks like poop, smells like poop and--when it gets smeared all over the bathroom wall--it is as hard to clean and get that poopie smell out as poop, but no. It's not poop.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/01/2007 08:41 PM

The Skippy

That little cat turd from a four year old mong that gets buried in a massive mound of butt sludge in a porta-pottie.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/01/2007 09:19 PM

Lots of heinously stinky little turdlets. Lots.

They're not that stinky, I just gave them a bath last night....and I've only got three of them.

Pram- shaken, not Lila 80,728 42
05/01/2007 09:41 PM

The Phuc:

Slow, painful.. Possibly cancerous.

Well, okay.. The Phuc a year ago.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/01/2007 09:42 PM

I made a list!!!

Pram- shaken, not Lila 80,728 42
05/01/2007 10:36 PM

Yep, and despite the nature of said list, it's not a Shakespeare list!

'This is madness!' 'Madness? This. Is. BRIHAAAM!' 38,843 10
05/01/2007 11:17 PM

I wonder if poop art is possible. For example, you eat only one food, wait a few hours, eat a different food, wait another few hours, and then eat a third type of food. If you've chosen the food properly, can you get a tri-color, neopolitan poop? Or perhaps alternate between two types of foods so you get a zebra poop? It should be possible if you wait long enough between meals and you don't poop the entire time so the layers just pile up in your intestines. It could be an entirely new art form!

McRib 13,155 9
05/01/2007 11:21 PM

If you're going to go that fancy, Briham, you may as well go all the way crazy and invent "Poop Spin-Art."

The kiddies would love it, I tell ya.

Fratberry 283,018 53
05/01/2007 11:22 PM

Your search - "neopolitan poop" - did not match any documents.

Pram- shaken, not Lila 80,728 42
05/01/2007 11:32 PM

can you get a tri-color, neopolitan poop?

...sicle?

This Taco's being Crunched by the Gears of War! 61,976 36
05/01/2007 11:33 PM

<action>Sighs</action>Someone go get Trixxie.

'This is madness!' 'Madness? This. Is. BRIHAAAM!' 38,843 10
05/01/2007 11:44 PM

I am so going to do this sometime. I just need to figure out what to eat. I know Fruity Pebbles and Sourballs will make bright green poop. I need two more poo-coloring foods. I'm open to suggestions, but keep in mind, they need to be solid enough to allow the layers to form. If it's too soft, it'll fragment as soon as I poo.

This Taco's being Crunched by the Gears of War! 61,976 36
05/01/2007 11:46 PM

Add methlyene blue to a batch or brownies. Trust me*.






(* you'll be peeing blue as well for a few days)

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/01/2007 11:47 PM

Taco, I will so do that before a piss test.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/02/2007 01:31 AM

Briham, one word: Beets.

Thud 68,497 19
05/02/2007 01:34 AM

Briham, spend half a day drinking green death flavor Gatorade. No food, just the drink. It will help your quest for color.

Fezig 3,711 7
05/02/2007 04:30 PM

The Pram Poop - no matter what you do it won't leave you alone...and yet you feel sorry when it leaves.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/02/2007 05:18 PM

The elevator effect- a Shakespeare so hard, that the act of pushing it out makes your ears pop like you were on a fast moving elevator

Napkin 30,762 12
06/26/2007 01:39 AM

This was a great thread.

miss meg, if you please 1,967 0
06/26/2007 01:59 AM

I'll add one for Shakespeares and giggles.

The False Alarm
you feel it, it's there. It's the size of a small tree, and inexplicably, it's wedged in your ass. You sprint to the toilet, and sit there for a few minutes, but nothing comes out. Finally, you pee just so you don't waste a bathroom run.

Napkin 30,762 12
06/26/2007 03:34 AM

Which part of that was giggles?

Briham can eat his own head 38,843 10
06/26/2007 04:09 AM

Stage Fright: You try performing with an audience.

Briham can eat his own head 38,843 10
06/26/2007 04:11 AM

No! Bad Chi-Chi! Bad!

peoriagrace 6,166 11
06/26/2007 04:22 AM

The Wet Dream: You awaken in a pool of diarrhea so foul that it makes you vomit.