Jolson whips it good! 16,163 11
04/04/2007 05:28 PM

Boobies?

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
04/04/2007 05:30 PM

Boobies?

Certainly Jolson. You are allowed to show me your boobies. I will permit it.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 05:31 PM

This reminds me of the old classic of telephony.
There's a guy who's just been made Jr. VP of a company. He's checking out his new office and is feeling rather proud of himself. He looks at the phone on his desk, picks it up and starts talking like it's some big important call. He turns around to see an IT guy standing in his door.
Not wanting to look the fool, he holds up his hand to indicate it would be just a minute. He starts shouting into the phone "Well, I'm the VP of this company, so when I say I want this done NOW, I mean NOW!" and slams the phone down.
He looks up at the IT guy and says "Sorry, vendor issues, you know how it is"
"Um..yeah" says the IT guy.
The Jr. VP asks "So, what can I do for you?" to which the IT guy responds "I'm..uh...I'm here to hook up your phone."

Community Chest 171,275 14
04/04/2007 05:35 PM

This thread is perfectly cromulent.

Sharri 14,124 11
04/04/2007 05:39 PM

Certainly Jolson. You are allowed to show me your boobies. I will permit it.

I too will allow this.

Community Chest 171,275 14
04/04/2007 05:45 PM

Out of my way! I am an expert in Assal Horizontology.

Snork 45,655 12
04/04/2007 05:46 PM

Anyone who mentions the words "paradigm" and "initiative" in the same sentence.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/04/2007 05:47 PM

"I knew dat."

Community Chest 171,275 14
04/04/2007 05:49 PM

I think its paradigmatically simple to have the initiative to come up with a sentence.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 05:52 PM

The essence of the situation is that we all feel the underlying need to be superior to the other sentiment beings around us. As such, we often resort to using language in such a manor as to appear aloof and condescending to those beneath ourselves as them peoples don't talk two gud.



Damn...ALMOST made it.

Jolson whips it good! 16,163 11
04/04/2007 06:38 PM

I've showed somebody something before. Can't remember who. Probably Chance. She's seen everybody.

Chance 171,275 14
04/04/2007 06:39 PM

I HAVE NOT!

I AM NOT A COLLECTOR!

You got me confused with Undies.

Email in profile.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 06:43 PM

<action> quickly redirects email with "attached photos"</action>

Heh..oops.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/04/2007 06:48 PM

Sentiment beings...

Emotions are for idiots. Frost-ing Vulcans.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 06:50 PM

Frost-ing spell check, it was supposed to say sentient.

Fake Colorful Easter Basket Straw 98,000 37
04/04/2007 06:54 PM

Emotions are for idiots. Frost-ing Vulcans.

Vulcans eschew emotions also, so why would you be cursing them along with emotions?

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/04/2007 06:55 PM

Perhaps I worded it wrong, I meant because they think they're so superior to us.

Chance 171,275 14
04/04/2007 06:56 PM

I think he was just mentioning his Saturday plans.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
04/04/2007 06:59 PM

T'pol. Definitely.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
04/04/2007 07:03 PM

Quite often when I disagree with a fact someone tells me, they'll scoff and say "I can show you it in one of my old textbooks if you want" or "my professor told me that when I was in school. He's an expert in the field, so I don't see why you're arguing."

Ever since I started calling bluffs by asking to see the textbook or emailing professors, I've discovered that about 90% of what people say is crap.

Captain Skippy, fabulous Pirate 41,253 13
04/04/2007 07:11 PM

Well there was this and then pretty much everything taco and I said for the rest of that thread.

300 Spartans and a Taco 61,976 36
04/04/2007 07:33 PM

I think Tapioca should just replace a swear word on the swearbot at this point.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 07:40 PM

But which one?

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 07:41 PM

AH...a PUDDING swearbot

Captain Skippy, fabulous Pirate 41,253 13
04/04/2007 07:49 PM

BUTTERSCOTCH!

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 07:50 PM

And of course, Ogden Nash would be replaced with Chocolate.

KChikita is wearing clean laundry, I swear!! 128,316 98
04/04/2007 08:05 PM

John! Al! Are you writing this down? I'd use it.

Captain Skippy, fabulous Pirate 41,253 13
04/04/2007 08:12 PM

pistachio!

Fake Colorful Easter Basket Straw 98,000 37
04/04/2007 08:19 PM

Pistachio was a curse word for me this week when my daughter wanted me to buy it because it was green (takes after her mom) and then decided that she didn't like it.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/04/2007 08:22 PM

And her we go.

Millie 116,988 28
04/04/2007 09:01 PM

I can't stand it when I'm in an art gallery or museum and I get stuck near people who are trying to show off. I'm trying to look at some art, and I have to listen to some pretentious, stupid blather.

My ex-husband and I used to call it the "curse". And, invariably, no matter how much I try to get away from the people, no matter where I go in the place, they end up behind me, going on about bullShakespeare.

I feel like turning around and saying, "Shut the Frost up! You sound like a moron and NOBODY CARES."

TheFoye 55,700 16
04/04/2007 09:06 PM

I'm pretty safe in an art gallery, about the smartest thing I would say in there would be "That artist can paint some pretty nice tits".

Millie 116,988 28
04/04/2007 09:16 PM

That actually wouldn't bother me.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/04/2007 10:12 PM

People who try to pronounce foreign words, even though those words are spelt a certain way and we Americans always say them the way they're spelt.

For example: Tofu.

Toe. Foo.

But no. These sock-n-sandal-wearing Whole Foods trolls can't be patriots. They say "doe foo."

Idiots.

Damn foreigners never spell Shakespeare like it's pronounced, and the Chinee probably say it like, "Chung Wong" or some such Shakespeare anyway, so don't try to act all continental. Vermont is not another country.

Devildog 538 6
04/04/2007 10:17 PM

My friend was shopping for a new front door and she particularly wanted it to reflect the style of "Frank Lloyd Webber".




So that's what? Prairie style, straight lines and a door bell that plays themes from "Cats"?

King Dingaling 5,469 7
04/05/2007 02:06 AM

At least you don't work here.

Or have this guy's job.

Foo-Foo the Snoo 10,950 10
04/05/2007 05:14 AM

"STFU N00b!" is always impressing upon others in that you know your way around a message board and have superior knowledge of being a cyberdork.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/05/2007 05:27 AM

The singularity is about to explode!

Heh. Heh.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
04/05/2007 05:31 AM

Forgot the link.

daisypie 49,378 9
04/05/2007 10:08 AM

...Vermont is not another country.


Not yet, Phuc, not just yet...

daisypie 49,378 9
04/05/2007 10:21 AM

<action>uh, oh...</action>I once got into an argument with a curator of the Portland Museum of Art (where I've been a member for years) because she placed a hideous 20th century American realistic bronze sculpture in a gallery of 19th century European Impressionist art...

TomServo 3,759 7
04/05/2007 12:06 PM

Have I mentioned before on Gab that I work in an art gallery? A fancy art gallery? In London? I might have done, once or twice.

Just because people pay to get past the red curtain doesn't mean it's an art gallery

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
04/05/2007 02:42 PM

I hate when people say, "irregardless"

Jolson whips it good! 16,163 11
04/05/2007 02:46 PM

I hate when people say literally in the wrong context.

"It was so funny I literally Shakespeare my pants!"

"Oh really. So what'd you do with your Shakespearety pants?"

</david cross>

Lloyd Lloves Llamps 48,662 14
04/05/2007 03:01 PM

DON'T CLICK THAT LINK! IT'S A VIRUS!

Phuc 237,919 21
04/05/2007 03:12 PM

I hate when people say, "irregardless

Not for nothing, but I so don't think that's not a cromulent word.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/05/2007 03:13 PM

What the hell are you on about?

BlaiseMilla 67,037 13
04/05/2007 03:14 PM

Don't try to embiggen us with some fancy talk, Phuc.

Lloyd Lloves Llamps 48,662 14
04/05/2007 03:24 PM

Hey! That's not fair. You cheated.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/05/2007 04:03 PM

"My name is _________, and I'm running for President of the United States.

Chix bites his thumb at thee 286,539 61
04/05/2007 04:04 PM

"


I especially hate it when they leave off that last bit.

Pumpkin Noggin-planted and ready to grow 56,642 8
04/05/2007 04:20 PM

Heard my two pet peeves today and already, and it's only 10:30.

People pronouncing VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) as "VOY-P" and the same people saying "It's the NEWEST trend in 'Tell-ah-phony".

NO Emerson, V-O-I-P is NOT the "newest trend in 'TEL-AH-FON-EE'" it's just the most talked about, it's been around for 20 years now.

Millie 116,988 28
04/05/2007 05:47 PM

You know, if I wanted to sound like a pretentious Emerson, I could. I minored in Art History.

But I don't GIVE A Shakespeare if people think I'm an idiotic Philistine. Plus, it takes too much energy to act smart. It's much easier if people think you're a dumbass.