Raspberry Chance 171,275 14
04/18/2007 05:08 PM

Im sure he didnt see much.

Cone Bold Stikini 62,262 18
04/18/2007 05:08 PM

Well?

Did he join in?

Raspberry Chance 171,275 14
04/18/2007 05:08 PM

and...


BURN!11

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
04/18/2007 05:10 PM

I see years of therapy at great expense in his future.

Max Powers 68,758 11
04/18/2007 05:11 PM

Well?

Did he join in?

No, but now when his friends ask him what sex is, he's gonna say "Well, the mommy lays there and watches tv while the daddy rubs up against her and cries".

Nachos Mengele 57,521 23
04/18/2007 05:11 PM

Masturbating whilst looking at the Gab tits page does not count as sex.

Max Powers 68,758 11
04/18/2007 05:14 PM

So you're a virgin?

Rev. Al Chickens 286,539 61
04/18/2007 05:14 PM

Yes I did. They were in their 4 poster mahogany bed, white sheets thrown down to the foot, and the tv in their room was turned to Saturday Night Live.

Too bad you can't selectively erase long term memories.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/18/2007 05:14 PM

Reason #40645 we have a loft bedroom and a bell on the kids door....plent of warning ahead of time

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,450 56
04/18/2007 05:15 PM

My son has.

What kind of emergency did he have that couldn't wait 28 seconds?

Rev. Al Chickens 286,539 61
04/18/2007 05:15 PM

And I'm here to say that there is nothing scarier on earth than the sight of your dad's ass bobbing in a dark room lit only by the light of a TV.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/18/2007 05:16 PM

Oh..and I have as well, when I was about 6 or 7. I thought they were wrestling....Mum was winning by the looks of it, but Da had a good hold on her as she was moaning............







AW Shakespeare! WHY WHY WHY did I have to remember that?!!!

Chit 178,781 15
04/18/2007 05:19 PM

"Well, the mommy lays there and watches tv while the daddy rubs up against her and cries".


"A lot like when Mommy gets the mail, except daddy's there, and I don't get to wear the piff helmet."

Tantalizing Tropical Taco 61,976 36
04/18/2007 05:22 PM

I didn't, but when I was 13 or 14 my little brother (who was 6 or so) came downstairs and was like "Jess-ie-kah, why is mommy upstairs making noises like a warthog with daddy?"

I died a little that day.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/18/2007 05:26 PM

<action> hands Cracka's son a $50 and an air horn</action>

Right, so TONIGHT's game, you sneak into Mummy and Daddy's room and after Mummy gives in to all of Daddy's begging, you hit the horn.

Max Powers 68,758 11
04/18/2007 05:30 PM

Sucker. He usually Coleridge blocks me for free.

Generalissimo Francisco Franco 173,958 15
04/18/2007 05:31 PM

It's times like this that I wish they would invent some sort of devide that would prevent someone from opening the door from the outside. I know there are smart people in the world, surely ONE of them can design something to, I don't know, lock the door into place.

Max Powers 68,758 11
04/18/2007 05:33 PM

If I had taken the time to lock the door, I might not have finished before the commercial brake was over. I had already used the first minute and a half on foreplay.

Raspberry Chance 171,275 14
04/18/2007 05:37 PM

BRAK!

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/18/2007 05:39 PM

We'll be right back to the Sex action after this the commercial brake...for Midus Brake and Muffler shops.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
04/18/2007 06:05 PM

I never walked in on my mother and stepfather, thank heavens, and my kids have never walked in on us. We can usually hold off until they're asleep.

One day last week, though, EJ came into the kitchen and said, "How long does an episode of Sponge Bob last?"

"15 minutes, I think. Why?"

"Because that's about 7 minutes more then I need."


I'm loving this pregnancy.

Ivan Drago, Meineke Car Repair Man 283,018 53
04/18/2007 06:08 PM

I must BRAKE you.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/18/2007 06:13 PM

Sorry Cracka, but Lupie's thread about this was better.

And her tits look far, far nicer than yours.

Raspberry Chance with a dash of Cinnamon 171,275 14
04/18/2007 06:38 PM

Ive never walked in on my parents cause theyre divorced, but my aunt walked in on her mother (my grammie) one time. Oh what a sight. She told me she will forever be haunted by a liver spotted ass and saggy balls hanging down so low they were all cozy on the comforter. I think grammie was in her mid sixties then. My grammie looks like a grammie too, not what these young grammies look like today.

gorckat is a lot easier to read than pig latin 41,132 13
04/18/2007 06:40 PM

Monday, during homework, I hear my daughter tell my wife that she "knows what sex is". According to her its when people kiss and take their clothes off and "get nasty".

Thankfully, her best friend who gave her the info (whom my mother, wife and I agree is a dyke waiting to bloom) doesn't have any "penis in the vagina" details.

After about half an hour of talking with our daughter, my wife followed me into the kitchen and berated me for giggling the whole time like the second grader my daughter is.


And the headboard banging "Oh God! Oh God!" sex my mother and stepdad had with the bedroom doors open is the reason I use Q-Tips dipped in bleach every so often.

TheFoye 55,700 16
04/18/2007 07:32 PM

My mom was a whore, she would put me on the floor in front of the tv so she could have sex on the couch behind me with random guys. At the time I thought this was normal. Thanks for bringing up some of the best memories of my life, Emerson.

TorchAteTeen 3,239 8
04/18/2007 07:34 PM

My parents have never had sex.

(did anyone say this yet? I was too lazy to czech.)

Pubah, Once Again with the Bubble Guts 56,805 18
04/18/2007 11:49 PM

Thank God No!

And there's a reason to put a lock on your bedroom door.

Some things, no matter how beautiful, just aren't ment for little ones to see.

Napkin 30,762 12
04/19/2007 04:37 AM

After working enough porn, I'd be pretty depressed if my son hasn't.

Millie 116,988 28
04/19/2007 05:36 AM

My sister did once. Thank God I never did.

Of course, even though I'm four years younger than she is, I was smart enough NOT to barge into their bedroom on a Saturday morning when they told us not to bother them. She got what she deserved.

Not that they were free of blame. With six kids, you'd think they'd be wise enough to put a damn lock on the door. They did after that.

In fact, my mother often locked herself in there when my dad was at work and refused to answer our knocks except to yell, "Go away!"

Robin® 14,626 10
04/19/2007 06:01 AM

Well according to my mom I never had the chance to walk in on them having sex since they had sex less than once a month.

My in laws walked in on SR and I at sperate times.

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
04/19/2007 07:21 AM

Who were you having sex with when they walked in on you, and who was he having sex with when they walked in on him?

Nachos Mengele 57,521 23
04/19/2007 10:40 AM

He was probably just polishing his totem pole.

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
04/19/2007 11:15 AM

"Slow down there, buddy! You're givin' off smoke signals!"

Pubah, with the Rotten Bubble Guts 56,805 18
04/19/2007 11:57 PM

At least she didn't lock you in the attic, Millie.

Millie 116,988 28
04/20/2007 04:27 AM

How do you know she didn't lock me in the attic?

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/20/2007 04:28 AM

Did she?

Millie 116,988 28
04/20/2007 05:02 AM

Nope.





Bathroom closet.

Pubah 56,805 18
04/21/2007 12:11 AM

I know, cause you would have mentioned it if she did.

You've got an honest face.

Chance 171,275 14
08/17/2009 11:19 AM

What the Frost are you on?

Lupience the Magnificent 26,981 11
08/17/2009 12:19 PM

No, but my son did.

A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 11,439 21
08/17/2009 04:40 PM

I once walked in on my Ex wife's parents. Sadly right at the end just after he had shot all over her face but before she had cleaned up.

Thanks, 10 years of therapy down the drain, I remember again!

subhuman 576 4
08/17/2009 04:46 PM

Ever walked in on your spouse having sex?

A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 11,439 21
08/17/2009 04:48 PM

Ever walked in on your spouse having sex?

Yep, with men, women, animals, herself. Wouldn't have been surprised to see any of her children dining on a tuna taco.

and MORE memories will haunt me tonight. Thanks

subhuman 576 4
08/17/2009 06:33 PM

Actually, I walked in on my little brother one time, but it was intentional. He had two or three friends waiting for him to drive them home, and they were bugging me about it. I wasn't about to drive the little peckers anywhere, and knocking on the door didn't get his ass out.

Out of the room, anyway. He was ass-out in the room, I'll tell you that. I wasn't jerk enough to get a good eyefull of her, though. Maybe I should have...

Alarm Clock the Chubby Robot 6,348 4
08/17/2009 10:23 PM

He was ass-out in the room, I'll tell you that. I wasn't jerk straight enough to get a good eyefull of her, though. Maybe I should have...

derekpruitt 0 3
08/18/2009 05:01 AM

hiiiiiiiii

Mr Crabs 305 7
08/18/2009 09:47 AM

My dad looked embarrassed but the sheep seemed to be ok with it all.

Millie 116,988 28
08/18/2009 08:07 PM

Sadly right at the end just after he had shot all over her face but before she had cleaned up.

This statement leads me to believe that you have never seen anyone other than actors in pornos having sex, nor have you ever actually had sex yourself.

I don't believe real people end sex that way. In all the many years I've had sex, with all the many partners, I have never had anyone even attempt to shoot his wad in my face. If he did, that would be the last time. And by last time, I mean the last time he ever shot a wad.

subhuman 576 4
08/18/2009 08:14 PM

Maybe his ex-wife's parents were porn actors.

Millie 116,988 28
08/18/2009 08:19 PM

Could be.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 88,200 34
08/18/2009 08:24 PM

And by last time, I mean the last time he ever shot a wad.

On the bright side, at least the guy would die doing what he loves.

In a manner of speaking.

Millie 116,988 28
08/18/2009 08:25 PM

If he loves getting his dick ripped off, I guess you're right.

Thud 68,497 19
08/18/2009 08:27 PM

Millie, if you keep sweet talking like that BIG will end up staggering into the thread and make another pass at you.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Zolton 88,200 34
08/18/2009 08:28 PM

That's one of those tricky things in life, I guess. If he didn't love it, there's not much he can do about it now.

And if he did, there's no way to do it again. I guess you could say having your dick ripped off is sort of a lose-lose situation.

I'd better write that down somewhere to remember it.

Millie 116,988 28
08/18/2009 08:30 PM

BIG hasn't been around much, lately. He's probably scared because he's supposed to be nice now.

Count Ravos 63,472 21
08/19/2009 08:09 AM

If he loves getting his dick ripped off, I guess you're right.

Quick, while she's blinded, run away!

Crackalacka 68,758 11
08/19/2009 10:30 AM

Thanks for turning my humorous sex thread into something smutty, and full of sexual violence, guys.
















I must have been off my game that day.

Bob the wonder-bot 18 3
08/19/2009 10:50 AM

This sounds like a game I used to play with the other guys on the boat. I would ask them if they ever saw their parents having sex, adn then I would ask if they thought there mother would orally negotiate dad. (I would then provide a visual for them) that was fun seeing them get teh dry heaves. lol

The best though is asking them to imagine gramma giving grampa a "gummer" and then watching the guy run to the head (bathroom) to expell the contents of his stomach.

Crackalacka 68,758 11
08/19/2009 10:52 AM

It sounds like you were on the boat with a bunch of pussies.

Bob the wonder-bot 18 3
08/19/2009 11:23 AM

Well this is the new kinder gentler navy.

Crackalacka 68,758 11
08/19/2009 11:35 AM

Well this is the new kinder gentlergayer navy.

A Summer Sweaty Ass......HAT 11,439 21
08/19/2009 07:42 PM

This statement leads me to believe that you have never seen anyone other than actors in pornos having sex, nor have you ever actually had sex yourself.

My first girlfriend loved to give head, but did NOT want cum in her mouth. For some odd reason, on her face was preferred. God only knows why. I'd think straight down the throat is the best way.

Its neat, tidy, tastelss if you swallow fast enough, no muss no fuss!



Then again, I've never sucked a Coleridge.... ladies?

subhuman 576 4
08/19/2009 08:04 PM

A roommate of mine in college insisted that eating citrus fruits made it taste better, while eating cabbage or broccoli made it taste bad. I haven't done any taste tests, or had my wife do any, even, but I've read the same thing somewhere recently.

Maybe that would make a good experiment to post here...who wants to be the taster?

Thud 68,497 19
08/19/2009 08:14 PM

Then again, I've never sucked a Coleridge

Sure you haven't. We all believe you.


Really. We do.




Seriously.

Pubah 56,805 18
08/20/2009 04:55 PM

You talkin to ME, Chance?

I'm high on sunshine...and a couple shots of Crown.

What gets you off...uh...high?

mielke 1,482 6
08/20/2009 05:00 PM

I wish I could have walked in on mom and dad bumping ugly's.....that way i could slap mom on the ass and tell her "Do some work lazy ...never mind"