Phuc 237,919 21
04/23/2007 07:10 PM

It's no worse than those damn Irish names with the retarded spellings.

"Yo, Sigh-obb-han, bring me another Guinness."

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/23/2007 07:13 PM

Ours is called Uniqua (you-knee-qwah)

She's "unique" alright....suppose it could be she's a Eunuch.

Chix Raises His Kilt At Thee 286,539 61
04/23/2007 07:13 PM

I'm pretty sure the goal is to keep their kids from ever buying one of those little license plates for their bike.

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/23/2007 07:14 PM

I'm pretty sure the goal is to keep their kids from ever buying one of those little license plates for their bike.

I think you mean MY bike.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/23/2007 07:14 PM

"And Pad-ray-ick, you missed a spot on the bar mirror. Didn't them Brits teach alla youze how to do menial labor right?"

Phuc 237,919 21
04/23/2007 07:17 PM

My mom was a teacher. She had a kid in her class named Latrina.

The Jerk 6,311 9
04/23/2007 07:18 PM

My mom was a teacher. She had a kid in her class named Latrina.

That's a Shakespearety name.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/23/2007 07:19 PM

I made the mistake of naming our son in a Gaelic form of John. Peoople are forever misprouncing his name, because the letter I in Gaelic is an E sound.

My youngest daughter has what was more commonly a boys name.

The only one I don't expect to be paying therapy bills on is my eldest daughter, but that may fall flat as she has a rather common name.

Tantalizing Tropical Taco 61,976 36
04/23/2007 07:19 PM

I'll save some Frost-ing moron the trouble of typing this up:

"Blah blah someone I knew blah blah Orangjello blah blah Lemonjello blah."

I Frost-ing hate that story.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/23/2007 07:22 PM

You forgot Ceegarret as well.

Gorky Thatcher and the Giant Egg 41,132 13
04/23/2007 07:25 PM

It's a very ancient and sinister plot. The names of many black children are dictated via brain waves by the almighty Trequanda- a brown dwarf star many light years away. Once the name seed is planted, she removes the memory of the contact.

Some of the names are meaningless, but others carry a mystical power within them.

The year 2023 will see a great gathering of black people with these mystical names and when read in succession they will summon to the earth Trequanda who will avenge all the wrongs done by white folk over the centuries.

I predict the NBA All-Star game as the site of this gathering.

Gorky Thatcher and the Giant Egg 41,132 13
04/23/2007 07:26 PM

<action>stalks Taco some more</action>And the one with (Mah-lee) and (Fi-mah-lee)?

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/23/2007 07:35 PM

Or the girl/boy twins: Denise and Denephew

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
04/23/2007 07:40 PM

Because they can?


</obvious>

Max Powers 68,758 11
04/23/2007 07:44 PM

I rode the bus when I was little with a black girl named Laqueefa. I always thought it was funny, but I never made fun of her because she had a big black brother named Quafilay. (ka-fee-lay)

TempusFugit 5,772 10
04/23/2007 07:49 PM

I may not be a big fan of all the Shanneequahs and Melanomas and Listerines out there, but you have to admit, when you walk in to a room full of white folk and shout for your friend John, it gets a little old having a third of the room say, "What?"

Chance with a spicy tuna 171,275 14
04/23/2007 07:51 PM

There was a girl in my class named Fortuna. What were her parents thinking?

Max Powers 68,758 11
04/23/2007 07:52 PM

That you can never do enough acid?

Marmite - 100% Yeast 12,955 12
04/23/2007 08:06 PM

Why is it they always appear on Sally Jessy Raphael/Judge Judy/moronic chat shows, usually with the most incredible hair style you'll ever see.

"Mo'shanelle has just found out her best friend LaTonka is sleeping with her boyfriend Dwenzil"

(Cue 400lb welterweight bitch with a head full of cornrows, bleach and beads)

Chit 178,781 15
04/23/2007 08:08 PM

You forgot Ceegarret as well.



C. Garrett doesn't post here anymore since Frat ratted him out for not liking PTM.

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
04/23/2007 08:09 PM

Q: "Why do black people make their own names up?"


A: To stick it to the man!

A: Because they can.

A: They cant spell.

A: Because they are loud and proud mutha Frosta!

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/23/2007 08:09 PM

There was a girl in my class named Fortuna. What were her parents thinking?

Certainly not that when she grew up she'd only use that name on the very rare occasion.

Chit 178,781 15
04/23/2007 08:13 PM

"Why do black people make their own names up?"


So only other blacks can say them without inciting a riot.

They're sort of funny that way.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/23/2007 08:15 PM

So only other blacks can say them
I think you could've stopped there and still be correct.

Chit 178,781 15
04/23/2007 08:16 PM

You mean like Alexus.





We done got us A Lexus mother-Froster!!

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/23/2007 08:20 PM

Well, to be fair, Chit, that certainly sounds better than naming the kid Ahummer or perhaps Aprius
(although that later you MIGHT be able to say is french for "Good Ride"...wait...maybe not)

The Jerk 6,311 9
04/23/2007 08:21 PM

!Xobile

Chit 178,781 15
04/23/2007 08:23 PM

I predict the NBA All-Star game as the site of this gathering.


Don't you think that by 2023 short white people will be forced to play in the NBA just to combat the rampant discrimination that is going on presently?

Moist.Pork. 5,469 7
04/23/2007 08:27 PM

If I had a black child I would name it Frost Da Police.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/23/2007 08:27 PM

An-fer-nee.

Moist.Pork. 5,469 7
04/23/2007 08:27 PM

I would also have a lot of questions.

The Devine Miss M 245 8
04/23/2007 10:52 PM

I'll save some Frost-ing moron the trouble of typing this up:

"Blah blah someone I knew blah blah Orangjello blah blah Lemonjello blah."

I Frost-ing hate that story.


I wanna hear the story! I wanna hear the story!!!

Thud 68,497 19
04/24/2007 12:39 AM

Once upon a time there was a stupid story that pissed off Taco. After hearing it one time too many, she was last seen climbing a clock tower with a rifle and a copy of "Spotting Emersons for Dummies".

ChevyHuny 92 6
04/24/2007 12:48 AM

Laqueefa and Fortuna?

I'm glad I was not in the delivery room when those babies were born. Someone get out the Glade.

Anh the Epicurean 11,158 14
04/24/2007 01:20 AM

I don't know how to spell this kid's name, but it's something like Keyshawn? Qeshaun? Szechuan?

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
04/24/2007 03:56 AM

My dad was friends with a black kid when he was youger. The kid's name was as follows: Chooeychooey Choklatbar Jackson. No Joke. That's what his mom ate when she was pregnant.

And it's not spelled incorrectly.

Chit 178,781 15
04/24/2007 04:16 AM

That's scary as Frost.

Some poor white collar criminal is sharing a cell somewhere with Chooeychooey Choklatbar Jackson.


I wonder if he prefers jelly or syrup?

Running with Scissors 3,510 12
04/24/2007 04:33 AM

Whites are not faring much better these days in the baby naming wars.

Jayden
Colton
Aiden
Nycole (spelled wrong)
Graclyn (not even a name, but spelled wrong anyway)
Bryil (actual name if not an actual word)
Rayne
Ely (new and improved spelling of Eli)

Chit 178,781 15
04/24/2007 04:45 AM

I'm Todd. And this is Blake, and Blaire and Blaine and Brent. Where all these goofy Frost-ing boys names comin' from. Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn. These are not real names. You wanna hear a real name? Eddie. Eddie is a real name, what happened to Eddie he was hear a minute ago. Jackie and Johnny and Tommy and Bill. Danny, Larry, Johnny, and Phil. What happened?

Todd and Cody, and Dillon, and Cameron, and Tucker.
Hi Tucker, i'm Todd. Hi Todd, i'm Tucker. Frost Tucker, Tucker sucks. And Frost Tuckers friend Kyle. Thats another soft name for a boy. Kyle.
Soft names make soft people. I'll bet you ten times out of ten, Nicky, Vinnie, and Tony would beat the Shakespeare out of Todd, Kyle, and Tucker

--George Carlin

Napkin 30,762 12
04/24/2007 05:01 AM

My name is Juliy, and I'm a man.

My parents are foreigners.

SquidBoy 19,912 12
04/24/2007 08:52 AM

Or the girl/boy twins: Denise and Denephew

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but just in case I haven't... I have cousins (twin boys) named "A" and "B".

True story.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
04/24/2007 09:47 AM

It's no worse than those damn Irish names with the retarded spellings.

I have a gaelic name and people always assume it's just going to be some weird pronunciation, but if you break it down, it's actually spelled exactly how it's pronounced. There's no silent q's or gkl combinations pronounced "f." People just look at it, think "I've never seen that name before; it must be impossible to pronounce." I'm sorry my parents didn't go with an obvious name!

I'm not really. My name is way cooler than anyone else's ever and I never had to suffer being "Katie #4."

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
04/24/2007 09:52 AM

No kidding. Everyone knows that Katie #3 is the hot one.

McPansy 19,555 11
04/24/2007 11:13 AM

It's no worse than those damn Irish names with the retarded spellings.

"Yo, Sigh-obb-han, bring me another Guinness."

Hey now! Those names are lovely as long as they're authentic, meaning not chosen because one of your grandfather's friends once flew over Ireland on his way to fight those Germans, which when you think of it practically makes you Irish.

That said, if you name your kids something like Siobhan (pronounced Chevonne) or Roisin (Ro-sheen) over here, you get the added bonus of effectively outing them as Catholics, which can make their time in school that much more adventurous, depending on where you live.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/24/2007 11:19 AM

Get bent, McPants. Those names are more swirlie-worthy then these names of people I've actually known:

Dorcas
Crispina (not a misspelling)
Shaquandra
Joseph Farting Bear
Anemone
Lyriq

McPansy 19,555 11
04/24/2007 11:35 AM

Hmm, given that you actually known my real name, which is foreign and quite weird, I guess I should be relieved it's at least not considered as among the most swirly-worthy. I take good care of my hair and the texture would be RUINED by my head being flushed down the toilet.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/24/2007 11:38 AM

Any name is instantly made cool with the addition of little dots and stuff over the letters.

-- ncl l

Phuc 237,919 21
04/24/2007 11:39 AM

SCB,

Anyone over the age of 30 will not only be able to pronounce your name, they probably sing it to you as well.

I bet you love that, eh?

--Al "You Can Call Me Al" N.

McPansy 19,555 11
04/24/2007 11:45 AM

-- ncl l

Interesting, l is eel in Swedish. Now that I think of it, Uncle l would make a rather amusing nickname for the male genitalia given it's shape and tendency to electrify others.

Cone Bold Stikini 62,262 18
04/24/2007 01:07 PM

So, if I'm calling you Al, does that mean you're going to call me Betty?

Chix Raises His Kilt At Thee 286,539 61
04/24/2007 01:20 PM

I have an Aunt Dorkas and my bagpipe instructor's wife's name is Dorkas.

I made the mistake once in front of her of saying, "yeah, that made me look like a dork."

"HEY!" she replied.

Chix Raises His Kilt At Thee 286,539 61
04/24/2007 01:21 PM

But if Hen ever presents me with a black baby, I'm naming him Fqupig. That way, whenever he gets pulled over by the cops, they will ask him his name, and he will reply Fqupig.

Serves him right the little black bastard.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/24/2007 01:57 PM

"I'm not sure if I'm saying this name right, Jay-mel, Jam-all, Jamal? Whatever"-Gary Granger, Adams Family Values


When my first were to be born it was suggested (by my gran) that we name the daughter "Drusilla" and the son "Isaha". NO idea why these were suggested as we're Swedes, but meh.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/24/2007 02:00 PM

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but just in case I haven't... I have cousins (twin boys) named "A" and "B".

True story.

They wouldn't let us leave Hosptial until we had proper names for our twins. Sadly, My "REAL" legal name is "Boy", due to a drugged up psychopath of a delivery doc. He was shipped out to Nam (along with the rest of the hospital) less than 24 hours after I was born.

Fratberry 283,018 53
04/24/2007 02:05 PM

Tiffany,
Heather,
Cody,
Dylan,
Dermott,
Jordan,
Taylor,
Brittany,
Wesley,
Rumer,
Scout,
Cassidy,
Zoe,
Chloe,
Max,
Hunter,
Kendal,
Katlin,
Noah,
Sasha,
Morgan,
Kira,
Ian,
Lauren,
Q-bert,
Phil

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
04/24/2007 07:17 PM

African Americans are by no means the only folks guilty of giving their kids stupid names. On the street where I lived before moving Ohio, in a nice suburb of New York, the predominantly white professionals all seemed to name their daughters after the last names of minor 19th century U.S. presidents. We had a Madison, a Tyler and two Taylors.

I named my first kid Eamon after my step-grandmother's brother-in-law. He was an Irish immigrant who served in the U.S. Navy for 35 years, and fought in both world wars. He was covered with tattoos, could juggle five or six balls and smoked about nine packs of unfiltered Chesterfields a day.

When he died of lung cancer, he blamed it on the Germans for having gassed him in the first world war. He was my hero.

What can I tell you. I was still an active alcoholic and drug addict when I named the kid.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
04/24/2007 07:24 PM

And by the way, Al, the Irish language is no harder to figure out and pronounce (once you learn the rules) than ? (whichever language your people speak).

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/24/2007 07:25 PM

Engrish?

Phuc 237,919 21
04/24/2007 07:27 PM

And by the way, Al, the Irish language is no harder to figure out and pronounce (once you learn the rules) than ? (whichever language your people speak).

That'd be English, Adolph.

But it's the New York Version so fuggeddaboudit.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
04/24/2007 08:09 PM

This is a weird thing I've noticed in a lot of American families, including my own.

The family comes here from another country, and the people who came over maintain or make ties with other people from the same place, trying to keep their culture a part of the family despite having wanted to leave the old country.

A generation or two later, everyone is embarassed by Grandma and how she never learned English and still wears a gumpalina and hobbles over to the Latvian orthodox church every day. They distance themselves from their ancestral language and culture. They name their kids Bob and Nancy.

Another generation or two later, the kids decide they've been deprived of their heritage and take up some stupid musical instrument, learn a dead language, start cooking "authentic" food or get a tattoo that signifies their cultural obsession. They name their kids Gryndwlwch and Mroidl. In all liklihood, they got it all wrong and everyone back in the old country would be laughing their ass off if they heard.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/24/2007 08:13 PM

So what you're saying Whislter is naming my kid after a Gaelic "hero" from times of yor, I may have in reality named him after a potato used for scrubbing dishes?

Meh. I'll be dead before he discovers it.

Just Plain Straw 98,000 37
04/24/2007 08:18 PM

In Gene Weingarten's chat today, this chick said she was naming her baby Zoe, and wondered if she should put an umlaut over the e so that people would know to pronounce it "zo-eee" and not rhymes-with-toe.

Are there really people out there that would think Zoe is pronounced without the eee sound?

Jade - Queen Of Mistakes 14,453 11
04/24/2007 08:22 PM

Rumer,
Scout,
Cassidy,
Zoe,
Chloe,
Max,
Hunter

HEY! Don't make fun of my name!

And I decided years ago what any future kids of mine will be called. If it's a girl, her name will either be Autumn, Arwen, Emma-Jade, or Alana. If it's a boy, his name will be Daniel or Stephen.

I don't care if they like their names or not, I'll be their mother and I'm the one who gets to choose what they get stuck with for the rest of their life.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/24/2007 08:23 PM

Ian is often mispronounced as "Eye-an" or "Eye-on", so yeah instead of "Eee-an"..there are still those people around.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
04/24/2007 08:24 PM

I don't care if they like their names or not, I'll be their mother and I'm the one who gets to choose what they get stuck with for the rest of their life.

Or pony up the $$ to get it changed.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/24/2007 08:25 PM

A generation or two later, everyone is embarassed by Grandma

Actually, everyone loved Grandma and I wish that my father had learned me to speak that gibberish he'd speak to my 12 aunts and uncles.

But he didn't want to have much to do with it on account of living through all that Sukarno Shakespeare and being forced to either eat rats or starve to death and seeing people being shot and executed all around him just for being hippies or whatever.

Your people burned a cross in front of our house in repayment for his efforts to speak good English and pay taxes.

The ultimate insult: A Mel Gibson joint.

Just Plain Straw 98,000 37
04/24/2007 08:34 PM

When I was pretty young, I didn't know how to pronounce Sean. Fortunately, I found out the correct way before I met anyone by that name.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/24/2007 10:05 PM

When I was pretty young, I didn't know how to pronounce Sean. Fortunately, I found out the correct way before I met anyone by that name.

A couple of Jamesons and you can't pronounce it no mo.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
04/24/2007 10:14 PM

I have a cousin Shaun, so when I was growing up, I didn't understand why people would bother spelling it "Sean" since "Shaun" made so much more sense.

I still think seen whenever I see Sean.

Marmite - 100% Yeast 12,955 12
04/24/2007 10:21 PM

Think how Sean Bean feels then.

KChikita - What holiday is next? 128,316 98
04/25/2007 12:33 AM

My Dad used to work for the Department of Corrections and actually had a conversation with an inmate who pronounced his daughter's name "feh-may-lee". He said it was on the birth certificate when he got it. "F-E-M-A-L-E"

Generalissimo Francisco Franco 173,958 15
04/25/2007 12:41 AM

<action>hits "ctrl f" and does a search for Dequan</action>You people never fail to disappoint me.

KChikita - What holiday is next? 128,316 98
04/25/2007 12:44 AM

I also worked with a chick whose kids were named "Ciera" (Sierra) and "Keshon" (Kayshawn). WTF?

KChikita - What holiday is next? 128,316 98
04/25/2007 12:44 AM

<action>looks up at her previous post and wonders what that last thing to come out of her mouth was.</action>

Generalissimo Francisco Franco 173,958 15
04/25/2007 01:00 AM

My guess is it was something a good girl should swallow.

Bean 8,602 19
04/25/2007 02:05 AM

A family recently on Extreme Makeover, Home edition was black and had two sons named Marjon and, Mardaireus. Marjon was pronounced like Marshawn, and the other is pronounced like MarDarius. What the hell is with the "mar?"

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/25/2007 02:10 AM

White people have names like "Lenny," and black people have names like "Carl."

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
04/25/2007 02:22 AM

T-bone's a good name.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/25/2007 02:28 AM

While we're on the subject of tired premises, let's all start a Chuck Norris thread.