TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 09:49 PM

Declan, you have seen my penis already, it either pleased you or made you laugh, give me orbs.

Moist.Pork. 5,469 7
05/02/2007 09:53 PM

little boy blue who?

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 09:56 PM

Declan, are you looking at the pictures now, while at the library, for shame. You could scar some child for life if they see that.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 09:59 PM

So a priest and a pedophile walked into a bar, all by himself.


Bad dum pshh.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 09:59 PM

Foye, no, that is on my home machine, the one that cannot dispense orbs.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
05/02/2007 10:03 PM

Never pet a burning dog.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
05/02/2007 10:04 PM

3 tampons are walking down the street. A Mini, a Super, and a Regular. What do they say as you pass by?

Nothing. They're all stuck up bitches.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 10:05 PM

So, Declan, how's the bear life going for you?

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:06 PM

Smokatronic, it is clear you do not know me well enough. If there were negative orbs, you would be getting them from me today.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:07 PM

Just super, thanks for asking,!


You, I like.

I do like men in desert tan, with big......



weapons.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
05/02/2007 10:09 PM

My apologies, Declan. I meant no offense. Would you be kind enough to tell me where I went wrong?

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 10:09 PM

My weapon doesn't get much use these days. Yeah, I'm talking about that one.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:10 PM

Tampon jokes for a homo?

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:11 PM

Well, Foye, if you were here, or I was there, we'd see what could be arranged.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
05/02/2007 10:11 PM

Well, I know I can't please you Declan, and I think the postage to send Spicey to you would cost a bit much.

I have naked photos of his ass I could email to you though.









I think this is the part where I get divorced.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:14 PM

Thanks, but no thanks, dear.


That is such a nice offer, however.


If I wanted to see a large, presumably hairy white man's ass, I'd look in a backward mirror.


I am glad we're talking again, at least here, Undies.

You really are a nice person, even if your politics are suspect.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 10:17 PM

I haven't cleaned my weapon in a few days so it has sand in it. Yeah, my other one.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:21 PM

That's not good, Foye! One never knows when tose nasty insurgents will insurge.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
05/02/2007 10:22 PM

Well,how's this?

Superman uncovers a devious plot by a super-villain. He needs help from the Justice league to put a stop to it. First, he flies to Batman.

Batman: "Sorry, I can't help. The Batmobile lost a wheel."

Next he tries Aqua man, but he's not help either. After flying around and receiving no help, he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing nude by the pool. Faster than a speeding bullet, he flies down and Frosts her hard before going to save the day.

Wonder Woman: "Did you feel that?"

The Invisible Man: "No, but my ass sure hurts!"



Or should I just stop trying?

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 10:25 PM

I thought the Invisible Man says "did you feel that" and she says "no, what" and he says "I don't know but my ass sure hurts now" or some Shakespeare.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:26 PM

Yes, Smok, I think you should stop trying right now in this thread.

I will give you a pity orb or two, however.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 10:29 PM

I don't really need my weapon clean, it's not like I will be shooting a mortar out of the sky before it hits me or something.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
05/02/2007 10:40 PM

a large, presumably hairy white man's ass,

Actually, it's not as hairy as you might think.



But you know, on second thought, I believe I'll stop this discussion. I'm sure he won't be excited to discover that I'm pimping his butt to the big gay man of GAB.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 10:45 PM

I'm pretty sure Declan is "Mostly Harmless" as long as you keep your distance.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 10:53 PM

It depends entirely on whom is keeping their distance from me, Foye.

I am better at hand-to-hand than I might look.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 11:03 PM

12 minutes remaining!

Chris Garrett - yep 86,932 12
05/02/2007 11:09 PM

Shakespeare, I should come back for THIS!

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 11:10 PM

Hello, CG.


Very nice to see you!

Chris Garrett - yep 86,932 12
05/02/2007 11:12 PM

For the record Deccles...

I logged in Just for you.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 11:13 PM

For the record, CG... I just gave you ten orbs in two posts.


Just for you.



And, thank you.

Generalissimo Francisco Franco 173,958 15
05/02/2007 11:14 PM

Hi Declan. I'm not posting because I want orbs. I'm really not. I just haven't talked to you on or off the board in a while.


So, yeah. Hi. And stuff.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 11:14 PM

3 minutes remaining... sorry, all those who missed out.


Maybe next month.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/02/2007 11:15 PM

Hi, Janey. You got orbs anyway.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/02/2007 11:16 PM

Talk to you later, Declan!

This Taco's being Crunched by the Gears of War! 61,976 36
05/02/2007 11:22 PM

I want orbs!

Thud 68,497 19
05/02/2007 11:25 PM

Taco, you have orbs.

Pubah, Ignored Since 2003 56,805 18
05/03/2007 12:07 AM

<action>'Salutes' The Generalissimo</action>

USA Sarah 30,601 8
05/03/2007 12:38 AM

AM I TOO LATE?!?!?

I was making pico de gallo!

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/03/2007 02:57 AM

Am I too late?


No, Sairy dear, you may be too early. Pico de Gallo is just the thing for Sinko de Mayo, and that's not until Saturday.

Unless it's well covered in the refrigerator, you'd better make a new batch before your partay.

Chi Chi Felipe 161,353 14
05/03/2007 03:00 AM

I've been eating a ton of peanut butter lately. Yesterday I had some hot wings, too. So not only have I had some trouble dispensing orbs, when I finally did they set my virginal bum on fire.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
05/03/2007 03:12 AM

I have naked photos of his ass I could email to you though.
...
I think this is the part where I get divorced.


If you were smart, this is the part where you make some cash by charging people $20 a pop not to get those pictures in their mail.

Whistler P. McManus 186,122 44
05/03/2007 06:26 PM

Is the Foye Coleridge really that remarkable?

Is it Tommy Lee remarkable? John Holmes remarkable? Mandingo remarkable?

Or is it just remarkable for a regular white guy?

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/03/2007 06:31 PM

.

Straw+ 98,000 37
05/03/2007 06:58 PM

Clickies?

Straw+ 98,000 37
05/03/2007 07:00 PM

Oh, I didn't read the whole thread, so I didn't realize the orb dispensing had ceased.

Well, I got to look at a few pics of hot firemen.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/03/2007 08:03 PM

Is the Foye Coleridge really that remarkable?

It's my best feature.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/03/2007 08:29 PM

The orb dispensing will resume tomorrow around 11 am.


The Foye Coleridge?

One word: Impressive.


(And since I have conducted extensive "compare and contrast" studies, I should know.)

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 03:27 PM

Is that 11AM CST or EST?

Rene 1,810 11
05/04/2007 04:01 PM

The Foye Coleridge?

One word: Impressive.


(And since I have conducted extensive "compare and contrast" studies, I should know.)

Studies are more credible when they have been replicated by another source. If you want to forward TheFoye's pics to me, I'd be glad to do a compare/contrast of my own.

Just Plain Straw 98,000 37
05/04/2007 04:06 PM

Or you could just ask Foye - he's usually happy to share. For reciprocation.

This Taco's being Crunched by the Gears of War! 61,976 36
05/04/2007 04:08 PM

I'll second the sentiment Re: Foye's Coleridge.

turtle10 42,578 26
05/04/2007 04:24 PM

I just want to take a moment and say I can no longer think of the Jungle Book jingle "Bear Necessities" the same.


that is all

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 04:52 PM

Orb dispensing has resumed.

You have about 90 minutes.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 04:54 PM

Oh, and Turtle?


This bear's necessities include an internet connection, raspbearries(couldn't resist), and a cat.

Rene 1,810 11
05/04/2007 04:56 PM

Or you could just ask Foye - he's usually happy to share. For reciprocation.

Informed consent has really taken all the fun out of research.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 05:00 PM

Rene, sweetheart, the point of this thread is to get orbs from me.

I cannot orb at home, so make with the "funny for Declan."


Thanksyeraclementineorange!

FuckShitJesus 5,469 7
05/04/2007 05:03 PM

I'm here for the gang bang?

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 05:04 PM

Depends on the gang.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
05/04/2007 05:08 PM

So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
When you're worn
Out and tired
When your heart has expired

If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

*bows*

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 05:08 PM

I am better at hand-to-hand than I might look.

I don't know if we are talking about the same kind of hand-to-hand but I am Army trained at the combat type of hand-to-hand. Not that I want to test out your skills in putting somebody in a compromising position.

Just Plain Straw 98,000 37
05/04/2007 05:10 PM

How about this gang?

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured flags! 35,066 15
05/04/2007 05:10 PM

Carter is trained for hand-to-hand. Level 3 advanced.

Sorry, I swear I won't Stargate-jack the thread.

Just Plain Straw 98,000 37
05/04/2007 05:13 PM

When I was image googling "cowboys" I found one site I didn't feel at liberty to click on at work, but the thumbnails looked interesting.

Then there was this one. It didn't appeal to me - not because they were holding hands, but because they looked so fey.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 05:19 PM

Looks like the new "Brokeback Mt. Spring Line" has come out.(heh..come out)

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 05:22 PM

Good job, Straw!


Nice simulpost, Pumpkin.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 05:27 PM

<action> does it just for the orbs

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 05:31 PM

What else might you do for the orbs, Pumpkin?


You've got 65 minutes.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 05:34 PM

Hey Pumpkin, he gives a lot of orbs for penis pics.







Just trying to help ya out.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 05:35 PM

Just trying to help ya out.

That was for Declan and Pumpkin.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 05:44 PM

Nice catch, Foye.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 05:55 PM

You've got 65 minutes.

Unless your driving 120 mph, gonna take longer than 65 mins to get to Chicago....WHAT AM I SAYIN?!

Just trying to help ya out.

The war getting to ya man...SELL is spelt S-E-L-L not H-E-L-P

FuckShitJesus 5,469 7
05/04/2007 05:57 PM

You'd like it if you had robot ears.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 05:58 PM

Pumpkin's ears are just fine.

A nice handful each.

This Taco's being Crunched by the Gears of War! 61,976 36
05/04/2007 05:59 PM

You'd like it if you had robot ears.

Yeah how much do clothes cost in the Matrix?

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 06:02 PM

<action> is once again thankful he still shaves daily.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 06:27 PM

10 more minutes.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 06:31 PM

<action>googles bear jokes</action>

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 06:31 PM

Should we be concerned that there is a sporting goods store on the NE side of chicago ("Boys Town" neighborhood) where they sell "Bear Repelant"?

Right next door is a nightclub called "The Man Hole".

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 06:33 PM

Have you ever hunted bear?

No, but I've been shooting in my shorts.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 06:34 PM

If you're flirting with me, Foye, I rather like it, even if you are just in it for the orbs.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 06:34 PM

best. simlpost. evah.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 06:35 PM

There's a guy who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away.

So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away.

Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.

Each bear was carrying a beaver.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 06:35 PM

I've actually smelled that "Bear Repellent" stuff.


Smells a hell of a lot better than Brut, Old Spice, or Monsieur Jovan.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 06:36 PM

4 more minutes.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 06:36 PM

They used to call the "n00b Bears" "Cubs" here, until the city tried to sue.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 06:36 PM

I flirt with you not so much for the orbs but for the entertainment value, Declan.

TheFoye 55,700 16
05/04/2007 06:37 PM

This bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer.
The bartender, amazed that this bear can actually talk, gives him a beer.

The bear says, "What do I owe you?"

The bartender stops and thinks for a moment.

"Even though this bear is smart," thinks the bartender, "he probably hasn't been in many bars."

So the bartender says, "That'll be ten dollars."

The bear forks over the money and starts drinking his beer.

After a few minutes, the bartender can't restrain his curiosity, so he walks back over to the bear and tries to strike up a conversation.

"You know, we don't get many bears in this bar."

The bear looks up from his beer and says, "Well, at ten bucks a beer, I'm not surprised."

Ok, for the orbs too.

Declan McManus, Medicated for Your Protection 131,887 36
05/04/2007 06:38 PM

Fair enough, Foye.


That's the same reason I flirt with you.

Pumpkin Noggin -now available for parties 56,642 8
05/04/2007 06:41 PM

As bad as those jokes were, they made me laugh enough to orb them.

Chance- Not a fire crotch! 171,275 14
05/04/2007 06:52 PM

AM I TOO LATE!

Boogers!

Smokatronic 2,388 9
10/15/2011 11:45 AM

Hello again, old friends. I will not be 'that guy' who comes back after an absence and starts a new annoying thread about how "I am back!!!11!" in all capital letters. I will bump a 4.5 year old thread, instead and decline using the cruise control for cool...

So in nearly half a decade, I have radically changed in many ways. I have thought my way out of the paper sack that is religion, refined my views on homosexuality (while remaining hetero [How YOU doin', Chance and TWSS?])and fallen in love with science, the cosmos, and reality.

And yet, though I could make you weep as I explain our origins. How we have each and every one of us stepped out of a supernova, the end product of what the universe can do in 15 billion years with some hydrogen atoms; I cannot for the life of me figure out why a tampon joke would be less funny to a homosexual than to anyone else. Three or four times per year, Gab has crossed my mind and always this thread sticks out in my memory like a clown raping a hobo.

Elron_Hubbard 2,733 8
10/15/2011 11:48 AM

So you are still a fag?

Smokatronic 2,388 9
10/15/2011 12:05 PM

So, on the greatest comedy site in the world, this is the quality of troll we have here? Trolls should at least be mildly entertaining and sharp-witted. Please go practice somewhere else, fail-troll. If you go to facebook, you can join Teen Jesus Freaks, even you should be able to upset them a bit.

Sprog will fuck you with a rake 9,049 12
10/15/2011 12:17 PM

I wouldn't be too bothered, I don't think Elron_Hubbard will be around too long, the short bus is coming to pick him up soon. So many windows to lick, so little time.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
10/15/2011 12:41 PM

U mad?

Elron_Hubbard 2,733 8
10/15/2011 12:47 PM

I made that!

Elron_Hubbard 2,733 8
10/15/2011 12:48 PM

Why would I be mad? I don't get mad at people on the internet i don't know or care about.

Smokatronic 2,388 9
10/15/2011 01:01 PM

Sure you don't, buddy. Never heard that one before.

Dogs Akimbo 211,584 32
10/15/2011 01:05 PM

Why don't the two of you get a room.

Elron_Hubbard 2,733 8
10/15/2011 01:09 PM

Because I am just trying to figure out why this guy is so obsessed with me, I don't want to be his friend.

Declan. Shun vile imitations. 131,887 36
10/15/2011 01:47 PM

Why don't the one of you get a room?

Drewcifer ♠♠♠ 46,324 58
10/15/2011 09:44 PM

Congratulations on the Firestarter trophy, Dex! And all it took was an unfunny tard fight to get you there. Who would have guess?

Seriously, what the Frost? Is it Wacktard Weekend on here or something? Is there an international Ritalin shortage that I didn't hear about?

Elron_Hubbard 2,733 8
10/15/2011 10:03 PM

I'm still trying to figure out who is fighting. I see a lot of crying and complaining in place of teh funny, but no fighting.

Declan. Shun vile imitations. 131,887 36
10/15/2011 10:42 PM

No fighting?


Let me snap on my rubber gloves, get out the shackles, and the ball gag....

Sprog will fuck you with a rake 9,049 12
10/16/2011 05:51 AM

No lube!

HighSoci 30,109 18
10/16/2011 08:27 AM

Three or four times per year, Gab has crossed my mind and always this thread sticks out in my memory like a clown raping a hobo.


Actually there are many benefits to being raped by a clown or to raping whilst dressed-up as a clown. Among the obvious health benefits is the fact that clown rape is a cure for cancer. Here are some other benefits:

1. They have a constant smile making the experience either much more pleasurable or much more ingrained in your memory.

2. When the police catch up with you, escape is provided by using your nose as a distractive tool.

3. If the rape takes place in the back of a car, it is usually a clown car, making the rape much more amusing.

4. A "squirty flower" can be filled with mace so that the victim cannot recognize the clown in a police line-up.

5. It's a once in a life time experience, I mean how often do you get raped by a clown?

Pram 80,728 42
10/16/2011 10:49 AM

I sometimes have trouble getting my orbs to come out, too. You just have to flip the poster over and smack it on the bottom.

Zombie Princess Dianasaur 57,835 109
10/16/2011 01:10 PM

Because this thread was started before the trophy system went in to place, Declan won't be getting one for it. Sorry, D!

Drewcifer ♠♠♠ 46,324 58
10/16/2011 01:26 PM

Awww, that sucks.

You can come rub mine if you want.

Pram 80,728 42
10/17/2011 11:59 AM

Rub your what, your bottom?

Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,316 98
10/17/2011 12:40 PM

Drew has boobs?

Smokatronic 2,388 9
10/17/2011 03:58 PM

Actually there are many benefits to being raped by a clown or to raping whilst dressed-up as a clown. Among the obvious health benefits is the fact that clown rape is a cure for cancer.

I like the way you think, HighSoci. The government has known about the cure for cancer, but according to Alex Jones, a completely legit and not insane talk show host, clowns have been disappearing right of American streets as the global cabal marches on with its depopulation schemes.

Drewcifer ♠♠♠ 46,324 58
10/17/2011 04:18 PM

I meant my Firestarter Trophy. Declan (and anybody else for that matter) is welcome to come rub it. Try to keep up.

Declan. Shun vile imitations. 131,887 36
10/17/2011 04:53 PM

That is very decent of you Drewcifer, but I have a Firestarter trophy of my own, thank you.


The one I'd like again would be another Fan Club trophy.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/17/2011 04:59 PM

Foye had a penis? I had no idea.

Fratberry 283,018 53
10/17/2011 05:00 PM

Actually I'm probably the only person on ZUG who hasn't seen it.

Zombie Princess Dianasaur 57,835 109
10/17/2011 05:06 PM

raises hand

I have talked to him on the phone, but I too have not seen his penis.

(This is not a request!)

The Lobster. 18,568 33
10/17/2011 05:23 PM

I also haven't seen it. But I've seen enough of them to know that once you've seen a few, you've seen them all.

Bean 8,602 19 reads, with great interest, all the "rubbing" and "penis pics" and looks for the shortest line
10/17/2011 05:24 PM

fapfapfapfap

Pubah... 56,805 18
10/20/2011 01:06 PM

Someone Soccermoming Pubah...
Pubah no mind
Beats being ignored