KChikita carrying a Lemon! 128,334 98
06/26/2007 07:51 PM

New angle on the courtesy flush?

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/26/2007 07:51 PM

I would have yelled, "No one said to use your Frost-ing phone while you're Shakespeare-ing douchebag!"

syncope 49,019 14
06/26/2007 07:52 PM

I cannot fathom being so busy I have to hold a conversation, ANY conversation, much less a business-related one, on the toilet.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/26/2007 07:54 PM

Something I don't understand about my office building. In the bathroom on my floor there's three stalls and two urinals. One of the urinals is a low-boy, like the ones they have in elementary school.
Is there going to be a bunch of midgets going in there? And even if the low toilet is for midgets, why the hell can't they use the john anyway.
I don't use the low urinal - it's stupid.

stevens 225 7
06/26/2007 07:55 PM

Which one of you guys works in my building?

I do

but I use the ladies restroom. it's more classy

KChikita carrying a Lemon! 128,334 98
06/26/2007 07:56 PM

Peed on your shoes too many times, Blaise?

syncope 49,019 14
06/26/2007 07:58 PM

Is there going to be a bunch of midgets going in there?

I'm sure some granola-eatin' Skippy went in there and organized a protest to raise awareness for the tribulations of dwarf pissing until property management caved and installed a low-baller.

Once a Zolton, Always a Zolton 88,205 34
06/26/2007 08:01 PM

Pffft. Screw the midgets.

If they can't find a suitable urinal, they can go into a stall, lean back, and do a Matrix into the bowl like the rest of us.

syncope 49,019 14
06/26/2007 08:03 PM

do a Matrix into the bowl

You mean have one really good piss that no one expects and then follow it up with two letdown pisses full of new age spiritualism and plot holes bigger than Jesus?

Miss. All White Meat Trixxie 65,026 15
06/26/2007 08:05 PM

I'd like to think I speak for Myself, Blue Lep and the Late, Great Leppy himself when I say "STFU BlaiseMaliase and Synoscopwhatever you douche bags, short people need to pee too."

Once a Zolton, Always a Zolton 88,205 34
06/26/2007 08:06 PM

Syn, if your piss is full of new age spiritualism and plot holes, then you're drinking way too much green tea and yogurt smoothies.

Either that, or your urinary tract is infected by Richard Gere. And I am not going down that road.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/26/2007 08:06 PM

The effect of your insult was mitigated by the poor spelling of "malaise".

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/26/2007 08:09 PM

Trixxie's just upset that there was a thread about the men's room, and it had nothing to do with a couple of fruits pounding each other's asses.

syncope 49,019 14
06/26/2007 08:10 PM

When I tell my dad the story it will.

Chance- Partying like a rockstar. 171,275 14
06/26/2007 08:18 PM

I think I love you.

Smokey Muskrat 41,132 13
06/26/2007 08:25 PM

I was in 8th grade and had to pick up my sister every day from the elementary school. I stopped by the restroom there one afternoon and two young boys went into the stall next to me.

A moment later, as I'm washing my hands, I hear one of the kids saying, "Here, let me help you."

I glance behind me at the stall and can see under the door that one of them is one his knees, the other one is standing and not facing the bowl.

One of them says, "Doesn't that feel good?"

"Uh-huh" says the other kid.

Once a Zolton, Always a Zolton 88,205 34
06/26/2007 08:36 PM

So what happened?

Did he get the kid's hernia pushed back in, or not?

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/26/2007 08:37 PM

He grew up to be Tom Cruise.

And now you know,
the rest of the story.

Chix 286,539 61
06/26/2007 08:58 PM

Smokey- What you witnessed was a crime and should have been immediately reported to the nearest teacher. One child was abusing another. Also, it was a strong indication that the giver was being abused in the home, probably by an adult, a second and more heinous crime. Children who have had that switch turned on cannot turn it off and don't have the natural restraints that come with maturity. Both those kids will need therapy. I deal with these kids every day and thanks to Coleridgegobbling scumsucker lawyers, those kids have to be educated in with the general population and because of further legislation, it's against the law to even warn the teachers that little Bobby is a possible molester. </real world answer>

<gab answer> you joined them, didn't you, you sick Frost

Chix 286,539 61
06/26/2007 08:59 PM

Oh, I see you said that was in 8th grade. So last year. Probably too late now.

Miss. All White Meat Trixxie 65,026 15
06/26/2007 09:07 PM

They may have just been smoking some crack.

syncope 49,019 14
06/26/2007 09:15 PM

Or pole.

syncope 49,019 14
06/26/2007 09:18 PM

I think I love you.

I think I love you too, Chance, and I know you wanted to wait but with both of us heading off to college next fall this could be our last chance to prove our love.

Smokey Muskrat 41,132 13
06/26/2007 09:19 PM

What happened was I told my friends and we all laughed.

Who knew that one day I'd find a website for people like me.

Pubah 56,805 18
06/27/2007 12:17 AM

<action>Pretends Chance was talking to him</action>

*Swooooooooonnnnnn*

Livewire 78,229 13
06/27/2007 07:24 AM

Tension in the mens' room
Tension in the mens' room
Now, I know you're on a very urgent call
But I want to flush this log before I go and leave this stall.

Mount up on the wings of Chickenz 286,539 61
06/27/2007 11:41 AM

Tension in the Men's Room
Standing to take a pee
Coleridge on the guy next to me
Looks just like a tree

TheFoye 55,700 16
06/27/2007 12:57 PM

<action>moves down a urinal away from Chickens</action>

Eyes front Emerson.

Chix 286,539 61
06/27/2007 01:59 PM

sorry

Chance- Partying like a rockstar. 171,275 14
06/27/2007 02:02 PM

<action> Wonders why shes standing in the mens room</action>

Fezig 3,711 7
06/27/2007 02:11 PM

Phuc,

I had something similar to me. One time I was in a Walmart bathroom to drop the mother of dueces.

The get in the next stall is on his cellphone, and you could tell that he was trying to hide the fact that he was in the bathroom.

For laughs, I starting groaning loudly, saying such things as "why does corn have to be so painful???" After yelling, "Does anyone have a square to spare?" I proceeded to flush my toilet about 4 times (and this was one of the jet engine flush bowls) I got up, washed my hands and left with a smile on my face.

Straw 98,005 37
06/27/2007 02:13 PM

Every time I see the title to this thread, I hear the "Smokin in the boy's room" song in my head, but with the thread title words instead.

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
06/27/2007 02:17 PM

I got up to go to the bathroom yesterday and as I was walking away from my desk I overheard my boss excuse himself for a conference call. I walk into the bathroom and head to the mirror to examine a huge zit I'd discovered forming under my beard and he burst in behind me and goes straight into a stall. I give up and go over to a urinal to carry out my business when I hear him rip off a machine gun Shakespeare. He avoided me for the rest of the day, it was nice.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/27/2007 02:22 PM

I hate when I go into the bathroom to take a leak and a guy is in there crapping, and then he comes out while I'm still there.
I don't want to see you, I don't want to know who it is. Just wait in there until I go.

syncope 49,019 14
06/27/2007 02:30 PM

Phuc,

I had something similar to me.

I'm glad my thread has reached Phuc-like greatness, but don't call me your daddy.

Smokey Muskrat 41,132 13
06/27/2007 03:05 PM

I've mentioned it before, but some dick keeps turning the lights off on me while I'm in the crapper here.

Usually he'll pop in and use the urinal, then turn the lights off when he leaves, but last Friday was a new low.

(Sidenote- I hate urinals. When you're at your best friends house, do you leave the door open when you take a piss? Stalls for me, standing or sitting.)

I'm taking a leak in the stall when the door opens, no one comes in but the lights go out.

Emerson.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/27/2007 03:09 PM

I did that to the Vice Principal in my high school. There was a downstairs bathroom had no windows, and you could turn out the lights on someone and make it pitch black. I shut the lights off one day and started walking back to class, and he came running down the hall after me all angry.
I played dumb. I was like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know."
What a schmuck he was. He must have been so mad he couldn't have wiped properly.

syncope 49,019 14
06/27/2007 03:11 PM

I've mentioned it before, but some dick keeps turning the lights off on me while I'm in the crapper here.

Wow. We really do work in the same building.

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
06/27/2007 03:17 PM

(Sidenote- I hate urinals. When you're at your best friends house, do you leave the door open when you take a piss? Stalls for me, standing or sitting.)

Insecure about the size of your penis? Or better yet are you one of those guys who unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants and then has to literally hold his pants up while he pisses? Why do people do that? It's mostly people from India but I've noticed a few other people do it as well. Is it that they need to draw back as much fabric as possible to avoid pissing on themselves?

syncope 49,019 14
06/27/2007 03:46 PM

There was a guy at my last job who would do that. He would stand at the urinal bow-legged to keep his pants from falling down. It was funny enough and he was weird enough that no one bothered to ask if he knew why his pants had a zipper.