Chance 171,275 14
06/29/2007 02:12 AM

I'm in ur urn, smoking your ashes.

The High Priestess, Bite my gloirious golden ass! 58,948 29
06/29/2007 02:14 AM

I'm not going to die.

Thud 68,506 19
06/29/2007 02:15 AM

Spicey, have them cast your ashes (along with some sort of hardener) into a new custom hood ornament.

Or a cement butt plug, whichever works for you.

Undies, the Craziest Person in the Universe! 101,398 77
06/29/2007 02:19 AM

I just want to make this clear - the conversation was completely and totally hypothetical. Please ignore the big lead pipe I have hiding behind my back.

Also, I am definitely not in the conservatory.

Thud 68,506 19
06/29/2007 02:40 AM

See, I didn't forget about you, Undies.

The High Priestess, Bite my gloirious golden ass! 58,948 29
06/29/2007 02:53 AM

You're in the kitchen! With the noose!

Once a Zolton, Always a Zolton 88,205 34
06/29/2007 02:53 AM

I want my ashes mixed in with a big batch of black pepper, poured into pepper shakers, and secretly placed on the tables of the cafeteria at my old workplace.

I told those Frosters when they fired me they could eat me; now I'm making sure it happens in my will.

The Mailman, workal poster 176,450 56
06/29/2007 02:54 AM

I want my ashes to be poured in a big bucket of hot water, so I can finally get to experience what it feels like to take a bath.

Captain Rehab -- The Crutched Crusader! 36,465 8
06/29/2007 03:16 AM

I can't die yet; I'm still waiting to get a life.

miss meg, if you please 1,967 0
06/29/2007 03:40 AM

The food at the reception afterwards will be liberally sprinkled with me!

Ring Around the Collar 3,671 9
06/29/2007 03:45 AM

I want my lungs removed from my body before they cremate me, so those who'll attend my funeral can roll them into a joint, smoke'em and get high.




The they can do whatever the Frost they want with my ashes.

Straw+ 98,005 37
06/29/2007 03:48 AM

I want to be mixed with some bath salts and given as a gift to Thorsten Kaye.

Once a Zolton, Always a Zolton 88,205 34
06/29/2007 03:50 AM

I want to be mixed with some bath salts and given as a gift to Thorsten Kaye.

That's nice, Straw.

But we're talking about what to do with our ashes when we die.

And I think he might notice you in there.

Straw+ 98,005 37
06/29/2007 03:54 AM

So the bath salts will be extra powdery. And gray. And smell like charred remains. He's a guy, so it works.

Thud 68,506 19
06/29/2007 04:09 AM

<action>shakes his head in disappointment</action>
Straw, Straw, Straw...

Spicey McHaggis 117,784 37
06/29/2007 01:02 PM

So the bath salts will be extra powdery. And gray. And smell like charred remains. He's a guy, so it works.

Yes, but if he's using bath salts he's a gay guy, so it might not work the way you had hoped.

Chit 178,781 15
06/29/2007 01:12 PM

As a final gag I think I would want to see my ashes scattered over the cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum.

That should freak them out.

Smokey Muskrat 41,132 13
06/29/2007 01:57 PM

Smelted in the steel at a speculum factory.

Napkin 30,762 12
06/29/2007 02:12 PM

I would have everything above my waist cremated, and then I've have the ashes shoved up my ass, and then I'd be buried in a half-coffin.

Yarr, the life of a sailor for me.

Robin® 14,626 10
06/29/2007 02:16 PM

My brother-in-law put his father's ashes into a chambord bottle.

My grandmother has requested that we place her ashes in her urn on the mantle or other prominent place. But what do you expect from a woman who wears gold lame keds with matching gold lame basball hat.

Video Gamer 275 0
06/29/2007 02:23 PM

I want to be cremated with all my video games. Then I want my ashes to be thrown into a small child's face.

Robin® 14,626 10
06/29/2007 02:32 PM

Then I want my ashes to be thrown into a small child's face.

Not a real gamer. You should have been liberally dusted into an original NES and cartridges so when someone goes to blow out the connections they get a faceful of your ashes.

Know your shtick.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/29/2007 02:40 PM

I want Pac Man Jones to use them to Make it Rain at a strip club.

Video Gamer 275 0
06/29/2007 02:44 PM

Not a real gamer. You should have been liberally dusted into an original NES and cartridges so when someone goes to blow out the connections they get a faceful of your ashes.

Heh thats a good idea. I still like the small child thing. It prevent kids from playing video games. Ill just have my friend say "If you play video games, this will happen again" to that small innocent child.

Robin® 14,626 10
06/29/2007 02:50 PM

"If you play video games, this will happen again" to that small innocent child.

No, you randomly attack kids with moves and sounds from street fighter.
Ashes in your face won't do Shakespeare.
A crazy thirty year old man giving you a bloody nose while shouting "Hoduken" is much more traumatizing.

Seriously, learn your shtick.

Video Gamer 275 0
06/29/2007 02:51 PM

No, you randomly attack kids with moves and sounds from street fighter.
Ashes in your face won't do Shakespeare.
A crazy thirty year old man giving you a bloody nose while shouting "Hoduken" is much more traumatizing.

Now your just pushing it.

Robin® 14,626 10
06/29/2007 02:53 PM

Now your just pushing it

Up up down down left right left right B A select.

Video Gamer 275 0
06/29/2007 02:54 PM

Up up down down left right left right B A select.
No you got it all wrong. Its left right left right double down B A RightTrigger Left Start.

I HATE: mothcleaner 4,106 10
06/29/2007 02:57 PM

THERE WAS NO LEFT TRIGGER FOR NES

Robin® 14,626 10
06/29/2007 02:58 PM

THERE WAS NO LEFT TRIGGER FOR NES

He's 15, NES was before his time. As he just proved.

Video Gamer 275 0
06/29/2007 02:59 PM

well im pretty sure that you could just pretend there was a left trigger there, instead of a sharp pointy corner that if you happen to get pissed at your friend and threw the controller at him, it would hurt.

Miss. All White Meat Trixxie 65,026 15
06/29/2007 03:03 PM

I want to be ground up and mixed in a big pot of 5 Alarm Chili. Tho I can tear everybodies ass up one mo time.

Biff Hickory always delivers the goods. 49,019 14
06/29/2007 03:05 PM

I would like my ashes to be mixed with a plaster or fiberglass and poured into a mold of my body. Then bury the body in a nice casket at a cemetery with some flowers.

I HATE: mothcleaner 4,106 10
06/29/2007 03:06 PM

well im pretty sure that you could just pretend there was a left trigger there, instead of a sharp pointy corner that if you happen to get pissed at your friend and threw the controller at him, it would hurt.
that's the point,

stupid froster, take my power up!

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/29/2007 03:07 PM

It'd be cool if it was a miniature mold and a tiny casket and they buryed it under a bonsai tree.
With a little Chinese dude fishing next to it.

KChikita carrying a Lemon! 128,334 98
06/29/2007 03:08 PM

Blaise, I heart you today.

Chance- Parties like a rockstar. 171,275 14
06/29/2007 03:09 PM

I luf Robin!

Robin® 14,626 10
06/29/2007 03:14 PM

<action>does a happy dance around the thread</action>

I feel all warm and fuzzy.

Biff Hickory always delivers the goods. 49,019 14
06/29/2007 03:16 PM

<action>sticks his hand down Robin's pants</action>You're right.

Briham is giving away the HOT DICKINGS 38,843 10
06/29/2007 03:17 PM

I always thought this was a pretty cool idea. They mix your ashes with concrete, build an artificial reef base with it, and sink it into the ocean so coral can grow on it.

KChikita carrying a Lemon! 128,334 98
06/29/2007 03:20 PM

Then you could have crabs for eternity!

I HATE: mothcleaner 4,106 10
06/29/2007 03:22 PM

briham, you Frost-ing hippy

Robin® 14,626 10
06/29/2007 03:29 PM

Biff Hickory always delivers the goods. sticks his hand down Robin's pants

You might want to wash your hands.

Straw 98,005 37
06/29/2007 03:36 PM

If things had gone differently, we'd be pimping SCB's ashes.

Chance- Parties like a rockstar. 171,275 14
06/29/2007 03:53 PM

You might want to wash your hands.

Warm, fuzzy, red, and sticky!

Phuc 237,919 21
06/29/2007 03:54 PM

One word: Nesquick.

syncope 49,019 14
06/29/2007 03:55 PM

<action>returns from the bathroom wiping vomit from his mouth just in time to make a joke</action>

Warm, fuzzy, red, and sticky!

Like that chocolate covered cherry I found under the couch!

Chance- Parties like a rockstar. 171,275 14
06/29/2007 03:56 PM

Not as sweet.

syncope 49,019 14
06/29/2007 04:03 PM

Says you.

Keith Richards 67,044 13
06/29/2007 04:15 PM

If you give me your ashes I will snort them.
And then freebase monkey testicles.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
06/29/2007 04:28 PM

Hey, Frost you.

Chix 286,539 61
06/29/2007 05:16 PM

Have Undies take them out to the end of Santa Monica pier and lay them out in one long line on the handrail. Then have her blow them all off into the ocean.

One last blowjob from your wife, bro.

Phlanx 1,919 8
06/29/2007 07:38 PM

One last blowjob from your wife, bro.
Fixed it

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/30/2007 05:34 AM

Mix it in with the ashes a church uses to mark people on Ash Wednesday.

Stone Cold Bikiniasaurus 62,262 18
06/30/2007 09:01 AM

If things had gone differently, we'd be pimping SCB's ashes.

Straw, you have no idea how true that is. I go by there twice a day. My friends were at one of the nightclubs in that area on the night and saw it all go down.

I didn't really think it was scary, cause they diffused it before I even knew about it, it's mostly just really inconvenient because it's Frosted up my whole bus route to and from work. The bastards.

diburning 169 9
06/30/2007 02:22 PM

douse the ashes in kerosene and burn the ashes.

Snorkatronic 45,655 12
06/30/2007 02:34 PM

And then burn the burnt ashes.

The Rockin' Donkey 77,546 17
06/30/2007 03:13 PM

I'm not being cremated. I'm going to be ground up and fed to the homeless.

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
06/30/2007 04:22 PM

Lay my dead body on the road and drive a steamroller over it.

Then peel me off the pavement and bury me in a casket that's 50 feet long, 20 feet wide and a quarter of an inch deep

Snorkatronic 45,655 12
06/30/2007 04:24 PM

Buttrock + hippie = stupid.

Not to mention unhygienic.

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
06/30/2007 04:24 PM

I got that idea from my Uncle Bubba: he bought a farm that was 15 miles long and 2 inches wide and raised spaghetti.

Snorkatronic 45,655 12
06/30/2007 04:31 PM

So, Snork, now that you're dead - what are you going to do next?

-I'm going to DISNEYLAND!!!

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/01/2007 02:08 AM

So far, I've illegally interred three different peoples' ashes on the grounds of a certain museum. That's what they wanted, and they were major donors/volunteers, so Frost what the by-laws and local ordinances say.

I'll probably ask for something similar, or else have them sprinkled off the Staten Island Ferry.

Kitten_Interrupted 315 6
07/01/2007 02:09 AM

Personally, I want my ashes stored in one of theose cow shaped cookie jars that moo when you open them... except that I would like the sound chip changed so instead of a Moo sound it was my voice saying "For Frost sake.. will you close that lid. Were you born in a barn?!"

...And then I want to be kept on the top of the fridge to haunt my children and grandchildren for years to come.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/01/2007 02:11 AM

That's good, but change your name. We already have a Kittuns, and you're not her.

Also, SUYT.

Kitten_Interrupted 315 6
07/01/2007 02:21 AM

Sheesh.. what is it with people wanting to call me different names. Now it's you AND my girlfriend. If I hear one more person call me Carrolly McCarrollface I'm going to scream.

And I'll show you mine if you show me yours first.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/01/2007 02:41 AM

You asked for it!

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
07/01/2007 03:27 AM

Growing up, the urn holding the remains of my grandmother was used by Uncle Bubba to get rid of the ashes from the cigars he wasn't supposed to be smoking in the house.

His wife opened the urn one time and commented that granny seemed to be putting on weight.

MrSpazzOut 248 5
07/01/2007 06:31 AM

I'd have myself made into a sandcastle then sprayed with a clear coat so i would hold my shape.

Kitten_Interrupted 315 6
07/01/2007 08:43 AM

Ok Whistler. I did make a deal with you.

Xzelian 114 5
07/01/2007 02:06 PM

O.K.
So. I've actually put a good deal of thinking into this, but what Ive always wanted, is a public re-enactment of the Viking funeral from "History of the World Part 1."
In which, my body would be placed on a boat and then set on fire. All people at the funeral would be in a line, singing a Viking song, and at a particular time, they will all remove their hats to reveal that the hats' horns are affixed to their heads instead.

For maximum effect, the public location should be well populated with random strangers; as to ensure comfusion at the sight.

The High Priestess, Bite my gloirious golden ass! 58,948 29
07/01/2007 06:52 PM

72 posts from Gabbers and nobody has mentioned this yet. *sheds tear*

Carbonite. You could freeze yourself at the moment of death, or freeze yourself in a really cool pose and then at a ceramony have someone pull the life support. Now I'll just have to live until the tecnology is invented.

Soros 33 5
07/01/2007 09:42 PM

I want my ashes to be inserted inside a clear dildo to be used for the rest of my wife's life. NOW! Thats the way to go!

Kitten_Interrupted 315 6
07/01/2007 10:56 PM

I want my ashes to be inserted inside a clear dildo to be used for the rest of my wife's life. NOW! Thats the way to go!

And perhaps also the way to come.

flexappeal 8 5
07/02/2007 07:32 AM

Personally I'd like my urn to be fired out of a cannon. Preferably one with enough power to put me into a low earth orbit.

Colonel Sanchez 29 6
07/02/2007 11:58 PM

I will have my ashes mixed with glue and formed into a statue of myself which will be turned into a lamp.

Aphrodite 2,261 13
07/03/2007 12:05 AM

How about mixing them with gunpowder and making some shotgun shells? Then at least you can take someone else with you.

tophat=kick ass 10 5
07/04/2007 12:26 AM

I'd turn them into grass and smoke them or I'd put them into a cuban cigar to be smoked as soon as smoking's illegal that way i'd fight the law all the way into death

I'll spork your eyes out. 16 6
07/04/2007 04:50 AM

I want my ashes put in a KISS urn with a motion sensor on the front that plays "Rock 'n' Roll All Night" whenever someone walks by. In this I hope to be a horrible annoyance even after death.

Also, if my relatives do not carry out this wish, I will haunt them dressed as Ace Frehely/Frehly/Freely (or however you spell his name) and sing the aformentioned song.

Constantly.

Without stopping.

I don't even like KISS that much. I just know they sell the urns.

TomServo 3,759 7
07/04/2007 12:32 PM

If I had my ashes mixed with gun powder would I still be responsible for the people that are shot with those bullets in the afterlife?

Undies, the Craziest Person in the Universe! 101,398 77
07/05/2007 11:30 PM

When I pass on, I want my wife to use the insurance money to buy a new Mustang

I just caught this line. His insurance policy will probably pay for a new Neon, or a used Grand Am. No way in hell a mustang.

:Le Buge 193 5
07/06/2007 11:51 PM

I would like my ashes to be made into lye soap, then delivered to Jessica Biel's bathroom where I would be rubbed against her for a month or so.

Spicey McHaggis 117,784 37
07/07/2007 01:51 AM

Don't think that I don't know about that other policy, sweetie.

Mee-the-Dwarf 11 8
07/09/2007 01:38 PM

Inserted into a Clear Dildo? A good start, but I doubt you'll fit completely. You should have the remains of the remains used to dye all of your wife's undergarments black/gray.
Oooooh yeah! The eternal fondle!

Of course, if you're worried she'll be too sexy with you on, You could always have yourself mixed with paints and used to make a really creepy portrait of yourself to be placed above your bed. By creepy, I mean "just piss yourself already so my wife loses interest in your phallus" creepy.

SkyPork 6 5
07/10/2007 04:35 PM

I'd like to be baked into a scone with some walnuts and candied cranberries, and stealthily put into the pastry display case at a Starbucks. It has to be a Starbucks. The person who buys and eats the me-flavored scone wins! Maybe a certificate, or a plaque or something, that says, "Congratulations! Now you're possessed!"

Babarius the barbarian Barber 82 10
07/15/2007 01:54 PM

I'd have my ashes divided into two sets, one set combined in a forge to make a sword, and the other to make a shield (or if those idiotic future children have problems with that, I'll give the option of a gun and bulletproof vest in my will).
Then, in another 500 or so years, when the essence of the ultimate man has dwindled to weaklings and great catastrophe is in store for humanity, a hero will come forth, and combine the powers of the two items to become THE ULTIMATE MAN.
He will be characterised by excessive facial and chest hair, a constant sweaty smell, and a penchant for sniffing his underarms. HE WILL DESTROY THE EVIL AND BRING THE WORLD BACK TO BALANCE! So sayeth the prophecy! So it sayeth!

Spencer & Straweberries 2 5
07/19/2007 02:20 AM

I'd like my ashes to be sprinkled on an empty seat of a new roller coaster or thrill ride as it stops before the next people in line get on.

grand master potato 526 6
07/19/2007 01:38 PM

i would have my remains spread out the entire playboy mansion. i would then be known as the guy who got some ash in every room of the house.

Mi entrepierna es en fuego! 95 5
07/20/2007 11:19 PM

I wouldn't want to be cremated. I kind of want to pay my family to drop my dead naked corpse out of a helicopter over a really huge outdoor event, like the Superbowl or the World Series.

Ambios 19 5
07/29/2007 03:33 AM

Mix a little with vodka and have each one of my kids take shots of me.

Xanivan Xiantai 15 5
08/03/2007 02:29 AM

I would have them died white, then when I was reincarnated, I would snort them like cocaine to regain my old powers so I don't need to replay the entire game to get them again.

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 566 6
08/03/2007 12:16 PM

I want my ashes to be shot deep into space for some distant race to discover, where ill be reanimated and made a king! Either that or sealed in a packet of instant gravy, whatever.

spacklepants 96 6
08/07/2007 03:06 PM

I don't actually want to be cremated; I want my corpse to be chopped into easy-to-handle chunks, which I want fed into a chipper-shredder mounted in the open door of a skydivers' plane cruising serenely over Alaska's Matanuska Valley, home to some of the finest d00b in this hemisphere.

TheTylerB 6 5
08/13/2007 03:41 AM

I want my ashes pressed into diamonds then place on female genitalia jewelery.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
08/14/2007 05:02 PM

i want mine to be laid out in a fat line for keith richards to snort. then, when he catches the drain, i want him to hock a big lugie of me and spit it in mick jagger's face.

100% Concentrated Doug 67 5
08/15/2007 06:20 PM

i'd have my ashes put on "will it blend?"

Chazmeistro 86 8
08/24/2007 03:46 PM

I'll have them made into concrete boots that can be used to drown the celebrity of my descendents' choice.

bitchy 4 5
05/04/2008 10:53 PM

My husband has a thing about always facing the door, never allows his back to any door. So if he dies first I'm going to take his ashes and have them included in a mold of a gnome (did I mention his height is 5'5"?) I will have a recording of my husband saying "intruder" inside that is tripped whenever the door opens.And he will guard the front door until I kick it.

bluzesinger 650 6
05/05/2008 07:46 AM

When my friend "Tatoo" died,we ran his ashes thru his bike during the funeral parade.

Rusty Shakelford 26 6
05/15/2008 01:07 AM

I'd have my ashes put in somebody's AC vents, confetti's got nothin on me.

Snappahed 943 8
05/15/2008 02:02 AM

Have your ashes used as an ingredient in some sort of illegal but fun substance. Then you and your friends can party together one last time!

doctorphibes53 21 5
05/21/2008 02:29 PM

How about mixing them with some black tattoo ink and having the missus get some great bodywork done.
Or you could always put McHaggis in the Haggis. "Delicious Haggis loove, a bit gamey thoo".