buttcold 268 5
07/05/2007 10:04 AM

slammed your dick in a door?


pictures?

Stone Canadian Bikini! 62,262 18
07/05/2007 10:04 AM

Eventually your luck is going to run out and you'll die choking on a pretzel or a dick or something. Enjoy your time left to the fullest!

You should get one of those electric wheelchairs and go cruisin' for chicks!

The return of the Fart Pup 432 6
07/05/2007 10:05 AM

And install a trunk on it for hookers.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 10:05 AM

Pictures of a bruised penis? Oh yeah, this is gab.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 10:07 AM

Knowing me, I'll die taking a Shakespeare.

Pram,bringin' teh funny 80,728 42
07/05/2007 10:09 AM

7.Slammed my dick in the car door (AND IT STILL WORKS GREAT!)

Of course the car door still works; it's made of metal and your dick isn't.

Stone Canadian Bikini! 62,262 18
07/05/2007 10:10 AM

2.Slashed in the back with a hockey stick with no padding on as well as slammed by a hockey skate to my ribs.


Wait a minute here, you played with Todd Bertuzzi?

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 10:13 AM

More like this...

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured Lilas! 35,066 15
07/05/2007 10:13 AM

Who wants to be that BlueLep dies in a really lame, not hardcore way. Like SCB said, choking on a pretzel.

The return of the Fart Pup 432 6
07/05/2007 10:14 AM

Thats kind of what I thought happened when I heard Steve Irwin died.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 10:15 AM

I'm never eating a pretzel ever again.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 10:16 AM

Well, unless neep feeds it to me...

Snorkatronic 45,655 12
07/05/2007 11:02 AM

With her feet.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured Lilas! 35,066 15
07/05/2007 11:19 AM

Feet are yuck.

Pants Party 164 5
07/05/2007 11:25 AM

Thats kind of what I thought happened when I heard Steve Irwin died.

As hilarious (orbed to the extreme) as that was, and as fortunate as you were to avoid a stingray barb to the heart, you are one lucky son of a bastage. ♠ ♥ ♣

Mount up on the wings of Chickenz 286,553 61
07/05/2007 11:49 AM

What's that movie where the kids cheat death and spend the rest of the movie slowly getting picked off one by one?

The return of the Fart Pup 432 6
07/05/2007 11:54 AM

Final Destination.

And now I half expect a Frosttard to post after me with an attempted insult.

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/05/2007 12:15 PM

8.Shocked by a taser to the neck by one of my friends as a joke;and ended up in the hospital...

Fat Daughter, I've been tased twelve times and I have never had to go to the hospital for it. The movies make it look like you spend 20 minutes twitching but really you spend about 30 seconds saying "oww, what the Frost was that" or "holy Shakespeare, that Frost-ing sucked" Tasing sucks, it hurts a lot, and you can't move much while getting tased but there should be no reason to go to the hospital unless you're a Poe, and a Poe who can take a bullet and slam his dick in the door just doesn't make sense.

The Neeplets waved multi-coloured Lilas! 35,066 15
07/05/2007 12:22 PM

Hehe, Final Destination. I watched that when I was 13, 2 days before I started high school. I can't be bothered converting that to foreign money, high school here goes from 13-17.

Anyway, my favourite death was the teacher... with the bottle of vodka and the glass and the knives and fire...

Here is her death from wikipedia:

"Ms. Lewton is in her house pouring some hot tea into her cup. She sees it has the school logo on it and flings it away in shock. She reassures herself and then pours some cold vodka into the cup. the sudden temperature change causes the mug to crack, to which she is oblivious. As she leans over her computer, the vodka drips inside causing sparks. She sees this and as she inspects it, the moniter explodes throwing a shard of glass into her throat. She promptly pulls it out, her neck bleeding extensively. She stumbles into the kitchen, only to be followed by a trail of fire from the spark-ignited vodka trail and the vodka bottle in the kitchen explodes, knocking her over. She then tries to get a teatowel on the counter, unaware that it is draped over a knife block. She pulls it and a large carving knife thrusts through her chest. Alex has come in (as he knew she was next) and he sees her in the kitchen and tries to help. But the oven blows up, knocking a nearby chair and lodging the knife further, killing her. Alex quickly runs outside, where a few seconds later, the whole house goes up in flames."

Awesome.

Chit 178,781 15
07/05/2007 12:49 PM

Anyone out here want to run me over in my wheelchair?


I hear Sage just got his license...

Stone Canadian Bikini! 62,262 18
07/05/2007 12:50 PM

I've only ever seen Final Destination 2. I only have fuzzy memories of it because it sucked. So the ending: when the fat kid gets blown up by the barbeque, and his charred arm lands on his mother's plate. Does that actually happen?

If it doesn't it, it should.

Lila: Preggers and Loving It 78,555 13
07/05/2007 12:53 PM

How can there possibly be a sequel to a movie called something like FINAL Destination?!

Lila: Preggers and Loving It 78,555 13
07/05/2007 12:55 PM

Maybe they should have called it Finaler Destination.

Stone Canadian Bikini! 62,262 18
07/05/2007 12:58 PM

There is even a Finalest Destination.

Aphrodite 2,261 13
07/05/2007 01:44 PM

I think a person should be required to implode after making more than one Shakespearety sequel.

Once a Zolton, Always a Zolton 88,205 34
07/05/2007 01:59 PM

No, thanks.

The last thing I want is to be picking bits of Sylvester Stallone or Neve Campbell off the landscape.

Although I guess it depends on which bits of Neve Camp-- no. Still no.

ǝɔuɐɥɔ 171,275 14
07/05/2007 02:03 PM

How does one slam thier dick in a car door anyways? Seriously. Youre a midget, how big can it be?

shadesofgrey 5,445 7
07/05/2007 02:17 PM

Knowing me, I'll die taking a Shakespeare.

Hey. It worked for Elvis.

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
07/05/2007 02:47 PM

You don't seem to die but you always seem to have a medically related problem nagging you and they appear to be getting worse. My guess is that you'll be in debt from medical expenses and stuck in a wheel chair unable to move with a soiled diaper and a bed rash because your family resents you for all the hardships. You'll outlive everyone you know because simply just won't die and when you become a ward of the state the staff at the retirement hope will discover that you don't seem to die when not fed and will just wheel you into the broom closet and leave you there to enjoy that eternal life.

Bean 8,602 19
07/05/2007 04:36 PM

I remember a death in Final Destination where a dude is standing by a railroad track yelling at his friends about the whole situation. A train goes by, runs over a piece of sharp metal, flinging it toward the yelling kid and in turn chopping his head clean off.

heh.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/05/2007 04:43 PM

I can't Die...

You would probably enjoy the movie I Love You to Death, where a woman is trying to kill her husband but he just won't die.

Lila: Preggers and Loving It 78,555 13
07/05/2007 04:46 PM

Someone be a lamb and detail for me some of the stupid ways the kids in the Final Destination movies die?

Chit 178,781 15
07/05/2007 04:55 PM

Guess what Lep, we're all playing the same game...

It's called, "Get Out of Harms Way".

Dude, you're loosing, bigtime!

Straw 98,005 37
07/05/2007 05:29 PM

One of the episodes of the X-Files I watched yesterday was about a dude who couldn't die, even though he wanted to.

There was another episode where this dude could pass through anything except glass and rubber, so when he got hit by a car he only died because the windshield sheared him in half.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
07/05/2007 08:55 PM

Anyone out here want to run me over in my wheelchair?

I hear Sage just got his license...


Oh, sweet, sweet irony.

Hey, how's the fiancee there, Lep?

Chix 286,553 61
07/05/2007 09:16 PM

a 50 ton weight dropped on her

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/05/2007 10:08 PM

1.Feet ran over by a car

2.Slashed in the back with a hockey stick with no padding on as well as slammed by a hockey skate to my ribs.

3.Fingers all broken when I face masked a guy in football.

4.Robbed by gun point.

5.Shot at.

6.Hit by a car, resulting in a broken finger and a broken ankle.

7.Slammed my dick in the car door (AND IT STILL WORKS GREAT!)

8.Shocked by a taser to the neck by one of my friends as a joke;and ended up in the hospital...

9.Blood poisoning, and falling into a coma.

10. And for some reason I'm still breathing when I smoke cigs and pot while having asthma.


And all these things happened to him while on the way to the post office to mail his SS gift.

Lila: Preggers and Loving It 78,555 13
07/05/2007 10:10 PM

I do believe Bluelep has just been served.

Stone Canadian Bikini! 62,262 18
07/05/2007 10:44 PM

I remember a death in Final Destination where a dude is standing by a railroad track yelling at his friends about the whole situation. A train goes by, runs over a piece of sharp metal, flinging it toward the yelling kid and in turn chopping his head clean off.


That one is actually plausible. I know someone who died like that, only it was a stone that hit and killed him. His head didn't come off.

They put up warning and trespassing signs after that, but we still all walked home from school along the tracks.

Ah, life in a hick town.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 10:54 PM

I'll have someone send it to you... My ex cleaned out my house and took all my Shakespeare when I was in the hospital. So let me go buy something.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 10:57 PM

I'll hire an escort.

Chit 178,781 15
07/05/2007 11:01 PM

And all these things happened to him while on the way to the post office to mail his SS gift.


OUCH!

That one's gonna leave a mark...

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Zolton 88,205 34
07/05/2007 11:03 PM

I'll hire an escort.

I don't see how a hooker's going to help get that SS gift in the mail.

Two-to-one odds your dick ends up smashed in a car door again, though.

Snorkatronic 45,655 12
07/05/2007 11:04 PM

$20

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 11:12 PM

Better yet I'll hire Vince.

Chit 178,781 15
07/05/2007 11:13 PM

I don't see how a hooker's going to help get that SS gift in the mail.


Oh, Trae can help you get that out on time I'm sure...

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/05/2007 11:13 PM

Is trae still alive?

淫 笨 狗 211,588 32
07/05/2007 11:22 PM

She comes in occasionally to tell us to stop picking on Skippy.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/06/2007 12:44 AM

Is it because Skippy's gay lonely?

Frost Lep, why not just become a full time stuntman, at least then you will get paid to get injured. And sometimes it's on film.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/06/2007 01:55 AM

I would so do it, but I'm too lazy to find out how to sign up.

Plus how am I going to be a stunt man in a Frost-ing wheel chair?

Pram,bringin' teh funny 80,728 42
07/06/2007 02:05 AM

You can fall down in super slow motion.

marP 80,728 42
07/06/2007 02:38 AM

The movies make it look like you spend 20 minutes twitching but really you spend about 30 seconds saying "oww, what the Frost was that" or "holy Shakespeare, that Frost-ing sucked"

Well, that's because of product placement, and the producers want lots of good shots of that taser because the makers of taser, Taser, are paying big money for that.

marP 80,728 42
07/06/2007 02:39 AM

Frost comedy.

Straw+ 98,005 37
07/06/2007 02:47 AM

My ex cleaned out my house and took all my Shakespeare when I was in the hospital.

What the bloody hell?

A) She couldn't let the body get cold yet?

B) Isn't that something your parents should be doing?

marP 80,728 42
07/06/2007 03:58 AM

His parents should be letting his body get cold? Why should it need permission?

Millie 116,988 28
07/06/2007 05:07 AM

My ex-husband's father used to be a medical examiner, and he said most people seemed to die while taking a Shakespeare, so it probably will be how you go.

Also, Whistler, you can bitch, but you have to admit that Blue Lep seems to have a number of valid excuses for stiffing you.

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/06/2007 05:17 AM

Wow, Millie is on my side... Strange.

Neophyte 9,956 11
07/06/2007 05:19 AM

Frost comedy.

Yes you do.

Hammerhead. Accept no substitutes. 59,399 14
07/06/2007 07:58 AM

<action>whips out dragon katana, cuts off BlueLep's head</action>There can be only one!

Final Destination:

Bunch of kids die in a horrific plane explosion.

Survivors die by hanging, head sliced off (not at the neck, just above the lower jaw), teacher gets stabbed by a knife with the final blow emphasized with a chair in a Rube Goldbergian accident where her house is also on fire, girl is turned into strawberry goo by a bus. The three remaining survivors end up going to Paris, where the jock tackles the main character when a sign falls, saving him, only to have the sign swing back and hit him from behind.

In the second movie, they elude to the fact that the main character also dies in that final accident, leaving the weird chick (Ali Larter) as the only survivor. She voluntarily checks herself into a rubber room, but in the end, gets herself killed helping the second group of people. Coolest death in that movie: Kid goes into the dentist's office, has a whole bunch of crap happen that you think is going to kill him, but he dies when he walks out of the building and a giant pane of glass falls on him and crushes him.

marP 80,728 42
07/06/2007 08:13 AM

^terrorist

marP 80,728 42
07/06/2007 08:13 AM

HAMMER, NOT ME...

Snorkatronic 45,655 12
07/06/2007 08:19 AM

But how I do wish you'd blow yourself up.

Hammerhead. Accept no substitutes. 59,399 14
07/06/2007 08:20 AM

Pram, stop yelling.

I'm a terrorist because I know the plot and storyline from a movie I own? And it's slightly less watchable sequel?

I've never seen the third one. Two was pushing it. Three is just digging up the dead horse to get a few more hits in.

marP 80,728 42
07/06/2007 09:27 AM

Pram, stop yelling.

I'm a terrorist because I know the plot and storyline from a movie I own?

If you are carrying a copy of the Koran, then yes.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
07/06/2007 12:26 PM

Lep, we can always mount rockets and Shakespeare to the wheelchair and send you hurtling down the street in a big flaming ball of death.


I mean, not flaming, but on fire, well flaming but not the fabulous way of flaming I mean.



You know what I'm getting at right?

BlueLep: Still Smoking 13,144 10
07/06/2007 01:04 PM

NO GAYNESS WHATSOEVER.

I'm getting what you're try to get out right?

Hammerhead. Accept no substitutes. 59,399 14
07/06/2007 04:16 PM

Pram, with that last statement, you continue to prove you're an ignorant Frostbag.

Unless you're trying (and failing miserably) to make a joke. In which case, you're still an ignorant Frostbag.

Go eat a heaping bowl of dick.