Undies, the Craziest Person in the Universe! 101,398 77
07/18/2007 08:21 PM

Cook book? Recipe cards?

Virnomine 79,386 11
07/18/2007 08:21 PM

How about some drain-o and a big spoon? Or maybe some fertilizer for her barren womb.

Cmacker 5,303 10
07/18/2007 08:25 PM

A huge-ass box of super heavy maxi pads. That bitch'll be bleeding for months.

Chix 286,556 61
07/18/2007 08:25 PM

A homemade cd with
"oops I did it again"
and
"back in the saddle again"
included.

Chix 286,556 61
07/18/2007 08:25 PM

Don't leave out "There goes my Baby".

The Mailman, workal poster 176,454 56
07/18/2007 08:26 PM

A "pro-life" bumper sticker.

Chix 286,556 61
07/18/2007 08:27 PM

"so long baby goodbye" by the blasters

The Mailman, workal poster 176,454 56
07/18/2007 08:27 PM

A few gallons of bath water, for her to throw away.

mothcleaner 4,106 10
07/18/2007 08:29 PM

A 20LB. block of chocolate.
it makes women less pissy, except for chance

Original freckle-faced-gangsta 171,275 14
07/18/2007 08:31 PM

Chocolate makes me as cute and cuddly as a baby kitten. Seriously. I use to hate chocolate too, still cant stand choco cake....but gimmie a Cadbury fruit and nut bar and its on baby.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Zolton 88,205 34
07/18/2007 08:36 PM

Hallmark's got to have a card for the occasion, don't they? Something along the lines of:

"Your recent loss has us histrionic;
We sincerely share in your grief embryonic.

And we don't want to suggest you're at all moronic.
(But we warned you against a preggo high colonic.)

Still, we don't want to see you fall catatonic,
So we'll throw a party to relieve your grief chronic.

While a soiree right now might sound oxymoronic,
If you grill up the fetus, we'll bring gin and tonic!"

mothcleaner 4,106 10
07/18/2007 08:39 PM

<action>note to self: never give chance chocolate, a crazy fight between her and my wife would ensue</action>
on second thought?

Original freckle-faced-gangsta 171,275 14
07/18/2007 08:40 PM

Dear Friend,

Look on the bright side, some people pay hundreds of dollars to have this done. Lucky bitch.

Hugs and kisses,
Gorky and Gorkys sammich maker.

Phuc 237,919 21
07/18/2007 08:46 PM

Placenta Helper.

King of Not Giving a Shit 5,469 7
07/18/2007 08:59 PM

Just pick her up a new kid from the internet, they're probably about the same price as a card, and you can get them to do housework!

Fratberry 283,028 53
07/18/2007 08:59 PM

Ford Prefect's home telephone number.

Fratberry 283,028 53
07/18/2007 09:00 PM

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

Marmite - Spreads better when hot 12,955 12
07/18/2007 10:40 PM

Placenta Cocktail
Ingredients:

1/4 cup fresh, raw placenta
8oz V-8 juice
2 ice cubes
1/2 cup carrot

Method: blend at high speed for 10 seconds. Serve. A tasty thirst quencher!

(Dead baby optional)

And scarily enough, this recipe is courtesy of Mother35Plus

Cinderblock 27,578 25
07/18/2007 10:58 PM

"Shakespeare, if I knew you were pregnant I wouldn't have gotten you those horseback riding lessons for your anniversary."

buttcold 268 5
07/18/2007 11:01 PM

According to Emily Post's great granddaughter-in-law:

A miscarriage
For friends and co-workers, treat it like a death. Don't disregard it, offer advice, or say something as insensitive as, "I'm sure you'll have another." Instead, simply say: "I'm thinking of you. I'm sorry to hear about your loss."

chapmac 385 6
07/18/2007 11:01 PM

I guess asking for the shower gift back would be out of line.

Aphrodite 2,261 13
07/18/2007 11:22 PM

This might help

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
07/19/2007 12:38 AM

Miscarriage? A box of chocolates would be appropriate, but open the box and throw out all the candy before giving it to her.

And a blank card.

xray tooth 4 5
07/19/2007 03:09 AM

A box of chocolates would be appropriate, but open the box and throw out all the candy before giving it to her.

Jeesh, caskets have really decreased in quality nowadays, huh?
It's the thought that counts.
Leave the coconut ones. They are sick.

fox-n-sox 0 0
07/19/2007 03:17 AM

Easy just give her some baby clothes.

Hammerhead. Accept no substitutes. 59,399 14
07/19/2007 07:00 AM

Give them a puppy.

Ahtishe 93 5
07/19/2007 07:08 AM

or a North Korean cookbook...

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
07/19/2007 07:09 AM

..and name him Full Term Birth.

Frogpop - I AM asking for it! 173,153 25
07/19/2007 07:10 AM

OUT OF MY WAY, NooBLY.

Ahtishe 93 5
07/19/2007 07:14 AM

<action>sympathizes with frogpop</action>
oh and you were so close too..

grand master potato 526 6
07/19/2007 07:05 PM

get her the book - how to carry to full term for dummies......

syncope 49,019 14
07/19/2007 07:08 PM

Is there a Chicken Soup for the Mother of a Dead Child's Soul?

Golden Words 977 9
07/19/2007 07:19 PM

Get the porn books out, take a small cup and help out.

Straw 98,005 37
07/19/2007 07:36 PM

Bring them dinner or a gift certificate to a restaurant that has curbside service like Outback or Applebees.

</notfunnybuthelpfulyouFrosters>

syncope 49,019 14
07/19/2007 07:40 PM

Explain to her that this is why you should never mess with your uterus's REGEDIT file.

grand master potato 526 6
07/19/2007 09:04 PM

nicely explain to her it's just God's way of saying she would make a crappy mother.

gobadine 2,737 10
07/19/2007 09:07 PM

you sick bastards...



please continue.

Pubah 56,805 18
07/20/2007 02:00 AM

A hug and the book

"Pregnancy Practice"

or

"A Roll in the Hay with Me and You'll Forget All About it"

chapmac 385 6
07/20/2007 02:05 AM

A case of Fresh Baby Powder Scent Massengill for those long, lonely nights.

Ahtishe 93 5
07/20/2007 05:56 AM

Explain to her that this is why you should never mess with your uterus's REGEDIT file.


Sudo bring baby back to life...

Dr. Hollis 7,284 14
07/20/2007 05:59 AM

Offer to Frost your wife's best friend. If she gets pregnant and carries it full term, everybody wins.

Cmacker 5,303 10
07/20/2007 06:15 AM

Do they have one of these yet?

Welcome Back Prammer 80,728 42
07/20/2007 06:23 AM

She responded with angry woman silence.

Send that!

Bean 8,602 19
07/20/2007 06:45 AM

In all seriousness, a gift certificate for a day at the spa would be nice.

Phuc 237,919 21
07/20/2007 01:33 PM

You can never go wrong with a teddy bear.