syncope 49,019 14
07/19/2007 01:10 AM

What else should he tell people?

I never thought I'd find a lay up TOO easy to take.

Virnomine 79,386 11
07/19/2007 01:11 AM

Tell them that he sassed Pai Mei and it was plucked out.

Either that or he got poked in the eye with a Coleridge.

chapmac 385 6
07/19/2007 01:13 AM

What else should he tell people?

To never masturbate with one eye open.

Cmacker 5,303 10
07/19/2007 01:17 AM

He could tell people he was going down on his girlfriend when all of a sudden her dick stuck him in the eye.

chapmac 385 6
07/19/2007 01:21 AM

He could tell people that his priest was only 1/2 right about doing it too much and going blind.

Thud 68,506 19
07/19/2007 01:32 AM

Use the old standby: "I can't tell you. If I did, I'd have to kill you."

or

"Microsoft has a serious non-disclosure agreement."

gobadine 2,737 10
07/19/2007 01:45 AM

Tell them he used an online career calculator and from the answers he gave it told him he should be a pirate.

People will think he's so cool.

and you get to finally shag someone who's cool.

xray tooth 4 5
07/19/2007 03:02 AM

Though auto felliato is a great way to pass the time, it's a dangerous hobby, especially when you miss.
Some sound advice to pass down: "Stop waving that thing around or you'll poke your eye out"

Lloyd Lloves Llamps 48,662 14
07/19/2007 05:08 AM

"I have a glass eye, but I'm keeping an eye out for a nice dick."

Diet Phla: Just one calorie 131,068 34
07/19/2007 05:13 AM

What else should he tell people?

Yarr, careful of the scurvy!

Welcome Back Prammer 80,728 42
07/19/2007 05:57 AM

What else should he tell people?

"You'll shoot your eye out. I did..."

Chix 286,556 61
07/19/2007 01:55 PM

Duh, get him a pirate hat and teach him to say , "Arrrrrr".

Golden Words 977 9
07/19/2007 02:01 PM

"..you should have seen the other guy.."

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
07/19/2007 03:09 PM

One eye patch. Pffft.

Now, if he wore two eyepatches, that would be something.

King of Not Giving a Shit 5,469 7
07/19/2007 03:36 PM

"I was choking on the worm at the bottom of a bottle of cheap tequila in Tijuana after winning the "Craziest Gringo" contest, I couldn't breathe and I was turning blue when all of a sudden a fully-uniformed matador jumped in to save me, but he Frosted up the emergency tracheotomy and stabbed me in the eye with his sword. "

"Yaar, now go get me a sammich."

grand master potato 526 6
07/19/2007 03:52 PM

he can tell people it the newest video phone from Apple. It's the iPatch. ohh god, and everyone else, please forgive me for that one, for i know not what i type.

Marmite - Spreads better when hot 12,955 12
07/19/2007 11:45 PM

Pirates are so "in" this season...

Thud 68,506 19
07/19/2007 11:46 PM

So you go for a guy with a pegleg, Marmite?

Marmite - Spreads better when hot 12,955 12
07/19/2007 11:50 PM

Only if it has the vibro-attachment.

gobadine 2,737 10
07/19/2007 11:51 PM

pure class

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
07/20/2007 02:21 PM

Has anyone suggested the pirate angle yet?

YeOleSmurf 299 6
07/20/2007 07:43 PM

Zee Arabian Goggle, Zey do Nozing!

syncope 49,019 14
07/20/2007 07:49 PM

"If one eye is good enough for my penis then it's good enough for me."

grand master potato 526 6
07/20/2007 08:08 PM

ya know what they say about the Red Ranger Air Riffle? It's all true.