Cinderblock 27,578 25
07/20/2007 02:18 AM

I am withdrawing my elegibility from the general dating pool, effective immediately.

Oh, say it ain't so.

ObeseExplosive 3,430 7
07/20/2007 02:23 AM

Dude its very expensive.

The Sage of Seattle (The Superlative of Lame!) 36,465 8
07/20/2007 02:23 AM

Yes, it's true, Cinderblock. Now, run along -- I hear there are more soldiers who need their dicks sucked.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
07/20/2007 02:25 AM

Idiot, someone already called out the virgin alert on me. I'm as pure as one of those Brownback-endorsed fetuses!

Chit 178,781 15
07/20/2007 02:25 AM

Boy, I bet John wishes he was making eHarmony's money!

Ima sockamama 2,940 6
07/20/2007 02:28 AM

Yes, it's true. We met on Friday the 13th and Jason couldn't be anywhere near as Frost-ing scary as falling in love. Sorry ladies,(fags)and underage girls- he's mine and I am keeping him.

The Sage of Seattle (The Superlative of Lame!) 36,465 8
07/20/2007 02:28 AM

Idiot, someone already called out the virgin alert on me. I'm as pure as one of those Brownback-endorsed fetuses!


Two points:

1) Blowjobs are not considered sex. Just ask Clinton.

2) Go away.

Dr. Hollis 7,284 14
07/20/2007 02:30 AM

I agree with el Sage-o, you can suck people off as much as you want and still be considered a virgin.

ObeseExplosive 3,430 7
07/20/2007 02:31 AM

Nah he just wishes he was making money or had a job.

Please don't make me your gimp for that joke John.

*runs away*

Virnomine 79,386 11
07/20/2007 02:31 AM

Great, another marriage of mutants.

Well, at least carnivals, "Cops" and tractor pulls will still be alive and well in 20 years.

The Sage of Seattle (The Superlative of Lame!) 36,465 8
07/20/2007 02:33 AM

And Ima, dearest, please try not to embarrass me, okay?


At least, more than I already embarrass myself.

Thud 68,506 19
07/20/2007 02:34 AM

Congrats.

Thud 68,506 19
07/20/2007 02:35 AM

Really.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
07/20/2007 02:35 AM

Oral sex is sex! Saying you're a virgin if you've engaged in oral sex is like saying you've stuck to your diet except for that huge piece of chocolate cake you had earlier.

Dr. Hollis 7,284 14
07/20/2007 02:35 AM

<action>shudders</action>Wonder what the kids'll look like?

Thud 68,506 19
07/20/2007 02:35 AM

Seriously.

Chit 178,781 15
07/20/2007 02:35 AM

Well, at least carnivals, "Cops" and tractor pulls will still be alive and well in 20 years


And Wal-Mart stock just shot up a few points!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Zolton 88,205 34
07/20/2007 02:47 AM

End. In. Abackalleyabortionandarestrainingorders.

Or tears. Tears are good, too.

Millie 116,988 28
07/20/2007 05:30 AM

Is this a joke?

Nevermind. I really don't care. But if you two start bringing all your childish, retarded, stupid, psycho fights here, I'm gonna hunt you both down and kick the living Shakespeare out of you.

Congratulations on finding each other.

Thud 68,506 19
07/20/2007 05:34 AM

Already have too many couples bring their fights here, Millie?

Dr. Hollis 7,284 14
07/20/2007 05:41 AM

I have to disagree with Millie. Please bring your fights here. It will give me something to do.

Girl, did you even hear what that man just said about you? Aw, hell naw. Hell naw!

Millie 116,988 28
07/20/2007 05:45 AM

Hey, Daisypie and I never fight here. The fact that he never posts here anymore has nothing to do with me...

Honest!

Millie 116,988 28
07/20/2007 05:46 AM

Anyone who invites that kind of Shakespeare here has a very short memory.

The reality is not as fun as it may seem like it would be, in theory.

Welcome Back Prammer 80,728 42
07/20/2007 05:48 AM

Since we met on GAB, it's only fitting that I make the announcement here: I am in love and will be marrying a GABber.


FINE, just ignore the law, but Meg is underage, dude.

Thud 68,506 19
07/20/2007 05:49 AM

I just figured you had hidden Daisypie's body and no one had located it yet.

Welcome Back Prammer 80,728 42
07/20/2007 05:49 AM

when I get some.


BWAHAHAHAHA!~!!!

Dr. Hollis 7,284 14
07/20/2007 05:51 AM

Nah, I'm just more of an on-and-off poster. These Millie vs. Daisypie fights must have happened during an off time. Do tell!

Millie 116,988 28
07/20/2007 05:51 AM

Daisypie's computer is out of commission.

I asked him, "Is your computer broken or something?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "What's wrong with it?"

He said, "I broke it."

Millie 116,988 28
07/20/2007 05:52 AM

It wasn't me and Daisy. We rarely fight, either here or in real life. Because we don't live together and we don't spend a lot of time together.

It works out very well for everyone involved.

But I just spent yesterday through this morning with him, and I'm sure if he thought of it, he would have said "Hi" to everyone!

Welcome Back Prammer 80,728 42
07/20/2007 05:54 AM

..I am about to recruit a 10yo at the public library for help.

-Ima's profile

I see what the attraction was!

Ok, I'm done flipping you Shakespeare. Sage, congratulations, man!!!

Burning Man Ahtishe 93 5
07/20/2007 06:22 AM

<action>opens his mouth to speak but walks out of the thread instead</action>

Damon Key is coming 0 0
07/20/2007 06:25 AM

I hear if you buy 2 the third one is free.

Mount up on the wings of Chickenz 286,556 61
07/20/2007 10:10 AM

Dr. Hollis
Chuckleworthy
7/20/2007 1:30 am [yHQNEHEa8N3CC6Z74ik8mQ]

I agree with el Sage-o, you can suck people off as much as you want and still be considered a virgin.

Hollis, I cannot believe we've lived in the same town all this time and never gotten together for a beer.

Phuc 237,919 21
07/20/2007 11:12 AM

I am withdrawing my elegibility from the general dating pool, effective immediately.

I was really hoping that meant that some enraged father of a blind retarded 14 year old with Brian Pepper's syndrome had finally cut your balls off.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
07/20/2007 11:50 AM

You waitied a whole SIX DAYS before proposing? Either this is a big stupid joke or you both are big stupid idiots. Congrats on marrying, moving in, and finally realizing that you are both different people and you cant stand the sight of one another. Heres to an internet stranger getting half your Shakespeare!

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
07/20/2007 11:52 AM

OH! OH! I'm gonna get the happy couple a pair of ginsu knives for a wedding gift!!

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
07/20/2007 11:58 AM

Okay, Big Stupid Hoax it is...Ima Sockmama screwed up the lil' plan.

Sage posted:7/20/2007 1:15 am Gosh, I can't wait to meet her in person! I hope shipping from Manilla isn't that expensive.

No0b posted: 7/20/2007 1:28 am We met on Friday the 13th and Jason couldn't be anywhere near as Frost-ing scary as falling in love.


Now I've spent way too much time here, I must go make someone else miserable.

Phuc 237,919 21
07/20/2007 01:26 PM

Now I've spent way too much time here, I must go make someone else miserable.

We'd much rather you continue trying to make Sage miserable.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
07/20/2007 01:39 PM

Okay fine, since youve twisted my arm.

Dixie Princess 583 8
07/20/2007 03:16 PM

Congrats to the happy couple. I hope you both get exactly what you deserve out of life together. Good luck!

A Pilgrim in an Unholy Land 57,521 23
07/20/2007 03:20 PM

A quick merciful death?

Dixie Princess 583 8
07/20/2007 03:21 PM

That sounded a little snarky huh? Oh well, if the shoe fits.

Bitter Bitch Extraordinaire 171,275 14
07/20/2007 03:24 PM

Frost it?

Dixie Princess 583 8
07/20/2007 04:15 PM

OH! OH! I'm gonna get the happy couple a pair of ginsu knives for a wedding gift!!

Chance I think these would be more fitting.

Undies, the Craziest Person in the Universe! 101,398 77
07/20/2007 04:17 PM

GABbers marrying other GABbers are ruining GAB.

Happy Sack of BC Bud 13,792 15
07/20/2007 04:24 PM

If this Gabber marrying Gabber crap keeps up we will soon be overrun by second generation n00b Gabbers...









and they will most likely be inbred Gabbers....

Bitter Bitch Extraordinaire 171,275 14
07/20/2007 04:27 PM

<action> Waits for the inevitable "Chance you Frost-ing bitch, learn to read you unintelligent whore" post</action>

A Pilgrim in an Unholy Land 57,521 23
07/20/2007 04:31 PM

If you hadn't said anything we'd probably have stayed with th enotion that you were making a Pram the shoe-fetishist joke. But as it is:

Chance you Frost-ing bitch, learn to read you unintelligent whore.

Bitter Bitch Extraordinaire 171,275 14
07/20/2007 04:35 PM

and if I refuse?

Bitter Bitch Extraordinaire 171,275 14
07/20/2007 04:36 PM

Oh and my shoe-fetish joke was kinda funny eh? I'm so very clever sometimes....then other times not so much.

Chit 178,781 15
07/20/2007 04:41 PM

Congratulations Sage.


You make carpet bombing for chicks look so easy.

Way to hang in there.

Chix 286,556 61
07/20/2007 04:46 PM

<action> performs a perfect spit take

The Sage of Seattle (The Superlative of Lame!) 36,465 8
07/20/2007 05:03 PM

If this Gabber marrying Gabber crap keeps up we will soon be overrun by second generation n00b Gabbers...and they will most likely be inbred Gabbers....


And still end up being funnier than you.

The British Guy 398 5
07/20/2007 09:40 PM

I am withdrawing my elegibility from the general dating pool, effective immediately.

Were you ever even in it?

Just kidding Sage, the utmost of respect and my kindest regards for you and your GAB wife and crazy second generation mutated GABber kids

Phla + nx = sad 1,919 8
07/21/2007 01:02 AM

Chickens Sage is DEAD ENGAGED?

Pubah is Sad 56,805 18
07/21/2007 01:17 AM

I call FAT DAUGHTER

The Sexy Sage dosen't need to air mail a bride from Sodom and Ghomorah...


...He gets em from the homeless shelter
like the rest of us.

Phla + nx = sad 1,919 8
07/21/2007 02:39 AM

I am withdrawing my elegibility from the general dating pool, effective immediately.
I guess the grade school isn't the "general dating pool."

The Rockin' Donkey [\m<>m/] 77,546 17
07/21/2007 03:02 AM

...He gets em from the homeless shelter Hospice


Fixed it!

Stone Cold Nachos 62,262 18
07/21/2007 03:06 AM

Sage is going to end up penniless, heartbroken, incarcerated and/or dead.

Not necessarily in that order.

Stone Cold Nachos 62,262 18
07/21/2007 03:07 AM

Sage is going to end up penniless, heartbroken, incarcerated and/or dead.

If he keeps posting from my account.

Stone Cold Nachos 62,262 18
07/21/2007 03:10 AM

Oops. Sage NACHOS.


If I'm never on Gab again, it's because Nachos got me drunk and killed me. You can all give him clickies for it cause I guess by Gab standards he would deserve it.

Phuc 237,919 21
07/21/2007 06:33 PM

I really hope Aileen Wuornos had a sister.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/22/2007 12:52 AM

you can suck people off as much as you want and still be considered a virgin.

I went to Catholic school for 12 years, and the high school I went to was run by the Franciscans, who, at the time (1970's), had a reputation for being progressive bordering on hippy-ish.

They separated the boys from the girls for "Marriage and the Family" class, and we had a real expert on the subject, a single (allegedly) celibate man, teaching the boys. He told us that we could ask him any question, that nothing should be considered embarassing, shameful or off-limits.

Someone asked the oral sex question.

His initial answer was that having engaged in oral sex, and even anal sex, did not disquality you from virginity. This met with great cheering, and the suggestion that he repeat it for us to record and play back to the girls.

Then he qualified his answer by saying that engaging in oral or anal sex would, however, be considered sodomy, a mortal sin, and would result in our spending eternity in a lake of fire, weeping and gnashing our teeth.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Zolton 88,205 34
07/22/2007 03:56 AM

Well, sure.

But all those easy girls who slurp pole or take it up the pooper will be there, too.

How bad could Hell possibly be with them around, really?

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/22/2007 04:02 AM

Luckily there were a few girls who realized that although it would take expert plastic surgery to replace a hymen, the sin of sodomy could be wiped away with a good confession!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Zolton 88,205 34
07/22/2007 04:08 AM

...the sin of sodomy could be wiped away with a good confession!

Well, let's be fair. It's not that easy.

You usually need a couple of Kleenex, too.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/22/2007 10:01 AM

"Bless me father for I have sinned. I let Jimmy McManus titty Frost me. Can I borrow your hanky?"