Undies, the Craziest Person in the Universe! 101,398 77
07/25/2007 06:23 PM

"I'm going to execute every last one of you mother-Frosters!"

mothcleaner 4,106 10
07/25/2007 06:29 PM

good-bye?

mothcleaner 4,106 10
07/25/2007 06:30 PM

i know, i deserve a soccer-mom for that, and probably this

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Zolton 88,205 34
07/25/2007 06:31 PM

Yeeeah, syn.

I'm gonna need you to go ahead and stop GABbing and get back to those TPS reports. Yeeeah.

Oh, and I'll just grab that stapler from you. Super.

Tweak 18,881 12
07/25/2007 06:31 PM

"I've masturbated into the coffee every day for the last three weeks. Frost-ing enjoy."

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/25/2007 06:31 PM

Please mail me my last check.

Aphrodite 2,261 13
07/25/2007 06:31 PM

Storm out of his office yelling

"For the last time, NO I WILL NOT BLOW YOU!!!"

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 06:33 PM

I didn't soccermom ya, mothy. It had the dry as toast sarcasm I like.

But I totally soccermommed that follow-up.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/25/2007 06:33 PM

Corporate America may suck, but it beats the hell out of retail.

Tweak 18,881 12
07/25/2007 06:34 PM

"My toothbrush fell in the toilet one time. I didn't even rinse it before I used it again."

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 06:35 PM

I'd get a job sucking Satan's black Coleridge of death before I worked retail.

Tweak 18,881 12
07/25/2007 06:39 PM

Yeah but the pay for sucking Satan's Coleridge Shakespeares all over the pay in retail.

drworm979 436 5
07/25/2007 06:39 PM

"I am off to get my sex change operation. I will be back when my vagina is open for business and I can start sleeping my way to the top!"

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/25/2007 06:39 PM

I bet Tammy Faye Baker is sucking Satan's Black Coleridge of Death right now.

Chix 286,556 61
07/25/2007 06:40 PM

Alright, no office jobs.
No retail.

Hello, construction worker.

Le Buge 193 5
07/25/2007 06:41 PM

Syn, although many of these posts are funny, you have a good chance of ruining your future career.....ah fark it, take a dump on the meeting table.

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 06:41 PM

No way. Tammy reconciled with the public and became a gay icon (somehow). She gets a free pass. She's dribbling runny mascara all over Jesus right now.

drworm979 436 5
07/25/2007 06:42 PM

ah fark it, take a dump on the meeting table

And then call it "new 'business'"

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/25/2007 06:43 PM

Ok, I'll compromise. She's getting DP'd by Satan and Christ.

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 06:43 PM

Hello, construction worker.

Fresh air, sunshine, and I don't think I'd even take a pay cut. It could work.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/25/2007 06:44 PM

You can make up to $20,000 a month buying and selling real estate. I know, because two midget twins in Hawaiian shirts told me so.

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 06:49 PM

You can make up to $20,000 a month buying and selling real estate. I know, because two midget twins in Hawaiian shirts told me so.

It SOUNDS too good to be true, but tell me more about your results-not-typical-examples!

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/25/2007 06:55 PM

Just ask the black guy standing in front of a Porsche, or the white trash lady inexplicably on a yacht.
They'll tell you their success stories.

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 07:00 PM

<action>laments that his corporate firewall blocks youtube</action>I'd totally throw a link to UCB's "Power Marketing" sketch right now if I could.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/25/2007 07:38 PM

I just wrote a little script for a channel101 pilot a buddy of mine is making. I know you're in LA- if they show it, you need to go and vote on it for me.

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 07:50 PM

Deal.

But only if you get me hired as a contributing writer.

chapmac 385 6
07/25/2007 08:13 PM

Wear one of these to work and it will speak volumes.

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 09:28 PM

Wear one of these to work and it will speak volumes.

What will that say, exactly? I have really Shakespearety taste in "ironic" t-shirts?

Millie 116,988 28
07/25/2007 10:04 PM

I prefer retail to office jobs.

I absolutely HATED working in an office.

Retail does suck though--it's just better than office work.

Seriously, think twice about quitting without a back-up. I have been unemployed several times int he past and nothing sucks worse.

Thud 68,506 19
07/25/2007 11:08 PM

Just come to work on you last day with a bunch of magnets inside your shirt (tape them on). Make sure you lean over the computers of all you favorite people.

Lila Needs A Lot More Blue Clothing 78,555 13
07/25/2007 11:14 PM

I agree with Mils on prefering retail to corporate. I worked over 10 years in the corporate world and would trade every day of that for the fun and great relationships I have in retail. It's totally worth the tradeoff of not being able to sit on my ass all day.
Also, I agree with Mils on thinking twice about a backup. I have quit jobs before thinking, "Oh, I'll have plently of money/time to find a new job!" and been unemployed for months on end.

syncope 49,019 14
07/25/2007 11:31 PM

I had that conversation with my partner in misery at the office. We kept going back and forth from "it's nice to have a paycheck and we're basically not doing anything because we gave up long ago" to "if I quit I'll HAVE to get a new job."

Of course that logic really sucks when it's put into practice.

Millie 116,988 28
07/26/2007 12:30 AM

Friday is my last day at my job, but I'm just transferring to another store, so I can't really do anything.

I wouldn't anyway. I've learned never to burn bridges.

Thud 68,506 19
07/26/2007 12:35 AM

You transferring closer to home, Millie?

syncope 49,019 14
07/26/2007 12:59 AM

I decided to go the sane route and find another option.

Of course I just got out of my third meeting of the day. The highlight?

"Syncope, before we start can you stand over here so I know you can hear me?"

"I can hear you. We're in your office. It's like a 12 x 12 room."

"I'm really not going to be able to start until you're over here with us and I know you can hear me."

Thud 68,506 19
07/26/2007 01:03 AM

That just about demands you stand uncomfortably close to them and loudly say "What?" after every statement.

Millie 116,988 28
07/26/2007 05:14 AM

Yes, it's much closer to where I live. I've worked at that store before. The manager is a total douche, but if it sucks I can apply at Lowe's or transfer again.

YeOleSmurf 299 6
07/26/2007 06:09 AM

Okay, this is a complex one, but I think it would be worth it. First off, you need 2 Asian midgets, a relatively small monkey, a half cooked baby, and a blender (I recommend kitchenaid).

Step 1: Make the sexier Asain place the baby, the monkey, and the skanky Asain in the blender on the liquidate setting until it is thouroughly mixed.

Step 2: Tell your boss to Frost himself.

Step 3: Reward yourself with your baby-monkey-Asain smoothy.

Step 4: Profit!

Burning Man Ahtishe 93 5
07/26/2007 06:38 AM

i know i posted this before but if you want to go out with some style try reenacting this...

brume&smog 7 5
07/26/2007 06:58 AM

I'd get a job sucking Satan's black pee-pee of death before I worked retail.

or you could just get a job in retail and sell your soul to satan... the after taste is a little better that way.
then, after said soul has been taken, you can take your soul-less shell and work as a telemarketer. since your position in hell has already been secured, you don't have to feel bad about getting paid the big bucks to piss people off incessantly.

Humphrey 51,764 12
07/26/2007 07:24 AM

black pee-pee of death

Huh!?!

brume&smog 7 5
07/26/2007 07:29 AM

i picked the toddler words.
which i am going to change right now... even "pee-pee" is a little to immature for me.

Humphrey 51,764 12
07/26/2007 07:30 AM

OK. Good luck with that.