Snorkatronic 45,655 12
07/26/2007 01:24 PM

You just ruined like the three or four first posts, wanker.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
07/26/2007 01:25 PM

20-year-old Terry Lee Alexander was alone in his jail cell in November when a female deputy, watching him from a nearby control room, became offended when she saw him masturbating.


Isn't she acting a bit high and mighty for a peeping Tom pervert?

NeepNeep: Tribute to Trae! 35,066 15
07/26/2007 01:48 PM

<action>sighs happily</action>
Virn is back!

Chit 178,781 15
07/26/2007 02:11 PM

Guess he tossed off all chances of beating the charge when he decided to spank it, sans blanket.

He'll know better tomorrow.

And the next day.

And the next day...

drworm979 436 5
07/26/2007 02:19 PM

Come on! that is ridiculous. If anyone has ever been to jail they would know that there is a toilet there out in the open in ones cell.

Although the question i would like to raise: did the female officer let him finish?

The Rockin' Donkey [\m<>m/] 77,546 17
07/26/2007 02:23 PM

She should have given him a hand.

Undies, the Craziest Person in the Universe! 101,398 77
07/26/2007 02:29 PM

What the Frost is that thing on his face?

Chix 286,556 61
07/26/2007 02:29 PM

The world is not fair, I tells ya. If I set up a tenX cam to watch girls masturbate, I would be sent to jail, but if a girl wants to watch a guy masturbate, he goes to jail.

Womens lib my ass.

Chit 178,781 15
07/26/2007 02:32 PM

I'm with Chickens.

That kind of power has to be worth a few dollars an hour.

Virnomine 79,386 11
07/26/2007 02:51 PM

I mean really though, he's in jail, what the Frost else is he going to do? I'm not in jail and I do it 3 times a day. I'd have forearms like Popeye if I was in jail from jerking it.

The Rockin' Donkey [\m<>m/] 77,546 17
07/26/2007 02:53 PM

I can't believe you don't have forearms like popeye, wanker.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/26/2007 02:58 PM

The Shawspank Redemption

Chit 178,781 15
07/26/2007 02:58 PM

I guess it's way less offensive if you do it into your cellmate's Emerson.

BlaiseMilla 67,044 13
07/26/2007 03:05 PM

"Shaking the tree, boss!"

Chit 178,781 15
07/26/2007 03:23 PM

Them clothes got laundry numbers on them. You remember your number. Any man forgets his number spends a night in the box.

These here spoons you keep with you. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box.

There's no playing grab-ass or fighting in the building. Any man playing grab-ass or fighting in the building spends a night in the box.

Virnomine 79,386 11
07/26/2007 03:34 PM

If he could spend the night in a box, he wouldn't be jerking it.

TheFoye 55,700 16
07/26/2007 04:19 PM

''Female detention deputies are human beings, too. Why should they have to view such vulgar and indecent behavior in their place of work?'' said Satz spokesman Ron Ishoy.

If it's so vulgar and indecent why does everyone do it?

Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/26/2007 04:24 PM

are hoping to curb the practice among inmates by prosecuting them

Right. Because convicts respect authority and respond so well to punishment.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
07/26/2007 04:24 PM

Well, if the inmates are prevented from dealing with their sexual tendencies this way, then I guess she only has herself to blame when the prisoners revolt from repressed sexual tension and she's raped within an inch of her life.

A Pilgrim in an Unholy Land 57,521 23
07/26/2007 04:27 PM

It'd certainly look impressive during her annual review.

"So Ms Veal, what did you manage to do this year?"

"About 1500 inmates"

Cinderblock 27,578 25
07/26/2007 04:35 PM

Defense attorney Kathleen McHugh faced 17 prospective jurors and asked point-blank who among them had never done that particular sex act.

No hands went up.

Wow, what are the chances that they would have gotten an all-mormon jury?

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
07/26/2007 04:38 PM

Did he get facial herpes from Frost-ing himself in his enormous nostrils?

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
07/26/2007 04:38 PM

asked point-blank who among them had never done that particular sex act.

No hands went up.



That means they all had.

Or are Mormons just extra prone to going solo?

Cinderblock 27,578 25
07/26/2007 05:33 PM

Oops. yorrs, I'm dysleixc.

HeBombedDamnIt 333 6
07/26/2007 11:58 PM

Or are Mormons just extra prone to going solo?

Speaking from the land of Os[mond], fornication gets you disfellowshipped or excommunicated; Spanking the monkey only gives you Popeye forearms (and you can't go to the Mormon temple for a month).

Hey... The more you know...

Chit 178,781 15
07/27/2007 12:16 AM

1 spank = 1 month

Awesome!!

By the time I was 14 years old, I was exempt from temple for life.

Must be why I've never been.






That and the fact I'm not Mormon.

HeBombedDamnIt 333 6
07/27/2007 12:21 AM

Hey, up until June 25th 1976, it was still legal to kill mormons in Missouri...








Does anyone have any good recipes?

Thud 68,506 19
07/27/2007 12:32 AM

<action>raises hand</action>

Chit 178,781 15
07/27/2007 12:35 AM

Hey, up until June 25th 1976, it was still legal to kill mormons in Missouri...



Only problem with that is that once you kill them, you're stuck in Frostin Missouri...

The Rockin' Donkey [\m<>m/] 77,546 17
07/27/2007 12:46 AM

That's not really a problem if you're from North or South Dakota.

Humphrey 51,764 12
07/27/2007 01:06 AM

60 days in jail, on top of the 10-year sentence he is currently serving

Yeah, that's quite a deterrent.

chapmac 385 6
07/27/2007 02:21 AM

"If jerking it is illegal..."

This place would be crawling with felons.

Chit 178,781 15
07/27/2007 02:31 AM

Would be??



Bwahaahahahaha!!!

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
07/27/2007 03:21 AM

then I'm going to be on death row.

Ah, c'mon. You don't get sent to prison from small claims court.

ObeseExplosive 3,430 7
07/27/2007 03:24 AM

Unless you bitch slap judge judy and cut her head of with a meat cleaver.

Really needs to happen.

Cmacker 5,303 10
07/27/2007 03:36 AM

Three. Strikes. Rule.

Kilgore Trout 173,958 15
07/27/2007 04:08 AM

And on a barely related note, it was on this date 16 years ago that Paul Reubens was arrested.

Dr. Hollis 7,284 14
07/27/2007 05:28 AM

Holy Shakespeare. They have toilets in jail cells. Is it indecent exposure when they whip it out to take a piss?
Besides, he was just preventing a shower-raping.

Miss. All White Meat Trixxie 65,026 15
07/27/2007 08:15 PM

for prison sex, Your pull two beds close together and make a tent with the blankets.



I read somewhere.

Marjod 1,942 9
07/27/2007 09:51 PM

Any sane Frosttard corrections officer has to realize that when ANY guy, let alone an inmate, are alone, they are going to 99% of the time masturbate.

The other 1% is reserved for Kwanza type festivities.