Cmacker 5,303 10
09/05/2007 04:51 PM

Feeling defeated, she threw on her flashing lights... the ones that signal a manager. We waited a couple minutes; then she started calling for all the other cashiers to go get help. My six year old kept asking in her best Irish whisper, "Mum, why is that lady stuck?" I used enough discretion not to say, "For the same reason she works at Walmart, dear."

Finally a manager came over, rolled her eyes, and said, "Again." Trying to get in and around Joy's girth to unlock the drawer was also pretty amusing; it was like Walmart Twister. Eventually, I got my change and got the hell out there.

I hope she didn't get demoted to greeter.

Chit 178,781 15
09/05/2007 04:58 PM

I hope she didn't get demoted to greeter.


Right...so she could work her magic in the front door?

Straw 98,005 37
09/05/2007 05:01 PM

Man, I wish that I had been entertained like that when I was waiting at Walmart last night in the freakishly long line for the self-check out counter, which had numerous signs clearly indicating that you should only use it if you have 20 items or less, but there were numerous people in line that had WAY more than 20 items, and because it's the self-check out, customers aren't as efficient as clerks and it takes for-frickin-ever, and the clerk standing at the front waiting for people to eff up and she has to come fix it was keeping her mouth shut about the people going through the line with WAY MORE THAN 20 ITEMS, meanwhile my daughter is becoming more and more restless and wanting me to buy the Shakespeare that's sitting next to the counter and all I want to do is pay for my FOUR, countem, FOUR items and go the hell home and eat dinner.

Anyway, it might have made a difference in my general mood.

Cmacker 5,303 10
09/05/2007 05:13 PM

Oh, and I forgot to mention...

To add to the amusement was the staple Walmart 300 lb customer in the mobile cart 3 or 4 people behind me, bitching at me, thinking the hold up was all MY fault.

Millie 116,988 28
09/05/2007 06:18 PM

Hey! I clicked you, but you know what?

I work in a place that's no better than Wal-Mart. And the worst thing about my job is customers who act like Emersons and think they are better than me because they don't work there.

Some of us take a job because we have bills to pay and we need the benefits. Do you think anyone really wants to work there?

I'm just sayin'...

Cmacker 5,303 10
09/05/2007 07:11 PM

I like the Depot, and sure it's better. My husband and I are self-employed contractors and go there a lot. We've never had a bad experience there, I find the employees helpful and knowledgable in their respective trades, and I've never left there with an incredible urge to drink. </serious>

Walmart, on the other hand, is a freak show. But if it makes you feel better, it's usually the customers that drive me nuts. Joy was just having a bad day.

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,711 7
09/05/2007 07:20 PM

Cmacker - what hell kind of Home Depot do you go to????


The ones near me are filled with incompentent, lazy, ugly people. Ask them a question, and you get one of 2 answers...

Uh I work in paint...
This isn't my department and they guy who works it is on break...

Home depot is like the black hole. Go for a few things....come out 3 hours later.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/05/2007 07:26 PM

BullShakespeare. You're just kissing Millie's ass. Home Despot has gone down the Shakespeareter in the past five years or so, getting rid of just about anyone who gives a Shakespeare and replacing them with homeless people who--if they weren't wearing those orange aprons--would be gleefully exposing their genitals to anyone willing and unwilling to take a gander.

There are never enough registers open, and the self-serve ones suffer from the same two malaises as your Wal Mart: Stupidity and douchebaggery.

When I need to raise the floors in the house, I had learned my lesson and I went to Lowes. It wasn't that much better than the Despot, but at least I wasn't suffering those morons just so I could put my hard-earned money into the pockets of the politicians who are most likely to get caught trying to suck someone's Coleridge in an airport baffroom.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/05/2007 07:27 PM

Frost you, too, Fezig. Teach you to horn in on my bitchfest!

Chickens VonGoatherd 286,556 61
09/05/2007 07:28 PM

Millie there is no comparison. The general public goes to Walmart. Tool guys go to Home Depot. You're like a helpful sprite in the land of opportunity.


God bless you and your orange vest.

Cmacker 5,303 10
09/05/2007 07:30 PM

What the hell does it have to do with Millie? My Home Depot is about 1500 miles away from her.

If you go to the one in South Bay, well, then, there's your answer. Otherwise I dunno. I guess ours just have higher standards.

Chickens VonGoatherd 286,556 61
09/05/2007 07:31 PM

A helpful sprite with a great ass.

Chickens VonGoatherd 286,556 61
09/05/2007 07:31 PM

And tits. Nothing like a sprite with tits.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/05/2007 07:34 PM

If you go to the one in South Bay, well, then, there's your answer.

Woohoo! I was talking about the one in West Rox, but holy Shakespeare, the one in South Bay is like the Dirt Depo!

"Can I get that nail on layaway?"

KChikita - Contains 12 inches of future genius! 128,344 98
09/05/2007 07:41 PM

My husband and I keep the Lowe's down the road in business. We're there at least a couple times a month, and neither of us work any kind of construction job. We just work on the house a lot.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/05/2007 07:46 PM

I ax this question honestly, out of ignorance:

Do some of you live in places where there is actually no other source of goods other than Wal Mart?

I once tried to go into a Wal Mart because we were traveling and one of my kids had to take a dump. The greeter turns toward me, and I see all these ghosts of moms and pops who were Frosted over and driven out of bidness by Wal Mart and also some guy named Juan. They told me if I shopped there, I'd be sent to the hell where I'm working customer service for eternity.

I'm thinking y'all would be willing to drive at least 20 minutes out of your way to avoid the ectoplasmic nuisance.

Chickens VonGoatherd 286,556 61
09/05/2007 07:54 PM

Though I spent $170 at Lowes over lunch. Sorry Millie.

I went in for a glass shelf but also bought this gadget geek eye candy and a hat with led lights in the brim.


*shudders with the joy of anticipation*

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,711 7
09/05/2007 09:13 PM

breed you, too, Fezig. Teach you to horn in on my bitchfest!


Ahh go kiss Skippy's ass. I have every right to bitch about Home Depot (Despot is more like it.) I have spent so much time and money and there...it makes me want to spontaneously vomit.

How about he simply team up and bitch slap the managers instead?

Millie 116,988 28
09/05/2007 10:53 PM

Gee, let me guess--you've spent $30,000 in the past year? That's the number every Shakespearehead Emerson seems to fixate on when expecting me to kiss his/her ass or give them some kind of discount or take back the tool they've already used or the cabinets they've already installed.

Oh, and they also have been waiting for help for 30 minutes (even though I just saw them walk in five minutes ago and I've obviously been with a customer all that time

I'm not saying everyone who works there is hardworking, but if you think understaffing is a pain in the ass for YOU, why don't you try to imagine what it's like for us?

They've cut their staffing to about what a third it used to be. If you had a job where people were rude to you all day long, how nice would you be to them? Or how helpful? You can say it's our job (and I do take my job seriously and I'm helpful and nice to most of the customers I deal with), but if you as a customer can't even be nice for the five minutes you're in the store, then why do you expect some overworked, underpaid, demoralized person who has been barraged with customers all day to be nice to YOU?

I usually spend all day talking to people, some of whom are nice, but a lot of them are Emersons who assume I'm retarded and are rude. If someone is rude to me, I'm not rude back, but I DO act like a moron who doesn't know anything.

When someone whistles or snaps their fingers at me, or yells, "HEY!" at me, then asks me something in a rude manner, I'm most likely to say, "Um, I don't know. Not my department."

Also 90% of the questions people ask could be answered if they bothered to pay attention to their surroundings and actually read the signs.

Millie 116,988 28
09/05/2007 10:54 PM

Home Depot has cut their starting wages by about half in the past ten years. They hire warm bodies, not "experts". But I would also argue that anyone who takes the advice of someone working at a store instead of PAYING for a plumber or an electrician is a moron, anyway

I couldn't care less if you shop at Home Depot or Lowe's or anywhere else. Whether or not you agree with the corporate policy of a place, if you choose to shop there, try treating the people who are working their asses off all day with some politeness.

I know that I work my ass off most of the day, and usually get no breaks except the unpaid one allowed by law. I know that many of my co-workers do, also.

As for those who don't--if you were making $8 an hour, how motivated would you be?

And Chickens, no one at Home Depot wears a vest. We all wear aprons. The vests are at Lowe's.

Sorry, Al, for the serious post. Not all of us can have the job of our dreams. And it may be funny to laugh at people less fortunate than yourselves here, but I hope in real life people actually have some empathy.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/06/2007 01:29 AM

Anyone who has never had a retail job is a douchebag, for there is the beginning of empathy. I worked for Whole Foods for five years. You want to experience the absolute bottom--the infected depths of an abscess on a dead dog's Emerson--of customers, those are them.

But you know what? We were trained to be nice no matter what. And we were. You know how it worked? Because they paid us well for what we did and they gave us good benefits.

I don't expect the workers at Home Despot to treat me well. Millie has told me before how the company's treatment of its drones has worsened over the years. But I also don't think that the Home Despot company should expect my business if they're not going to foster a good working environment that in turn translates to good customer service. I don't shop there any more. I don't shop anywhere where I can't treat the employees with respeck because I did my time in retail and in other Shakespeare jobs and I will not ever be that Emerson customer who has no clue what it's like to suffer in retail and gathers all their hatred for their experience for the entire company in addition to their many emotional problems and dumps it all on the undeserving schmuck whose only crime was to have the misfortune of being in the Emerson's line of sight when they were looking for someone to give Shakespeare about their weed whacker/organic broccoli/fleet enema/shotgun.

I also am lucky that I live in a city and that there's a Lowe's, a Sears, and at least two dozen large hardware stores within the same radius as the two Home Despot stores that are less than a 20 minute drive from my house.

In closing: Frost the meter maids. That's just how I feel. --Angelo Moore

Cinderblock 27,578 25
09/06/2007 01:48 AM

Working in retail and food service builds empathy. I was a busser at the waffle shop in a college town, so a large portion of our patrons were there to nurse a hangover (if they were there in the morning) or still drunk (if they were there in the afternoon). I went from that Shakespearety job to a slightly better job in a specialty dress store, which meant most of our customers were bleach-blonde fake-tanned sorostitutes who treated me like Shakespeare because I obviously don't belong to a sorority.

Now I'm just a student in debt. I don't know which is better...

Thud 68,506 19
09/06/2007 01:58 AM

Nice word, sorostitutes. Descriptive without being obscene, unless you belong to the Greek system.

Chit 178,781 15
09/06/2007 02:01 AM

Sure, I'm sympathetic too, but lets not forget why this thread was started.

I'm sure most Wal-Mart checkers scanners never get their dog tags jammed in the cash register drawer in their entire career.

Joy deserves a little ribbing, especially since her manager indicated that this wasn't the first time.

And Wal-Mart and Home Depot are as different as night and day in my limited shopping experiences.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
09/06/2007 02:10 AM

Agreed, Chit. Just because a few retarded people work at large chain stores doesn't mean everyone who works there is. I have friends who work at Wal-Mart, and I've found most people who work there to be friendly, hard-working individuals. It's not people who work medial labor I dislike (I'm one myself), it's dumbasses.

Cracka 68,758 11
09/06/2007 02:16 AM

All I got out of this is that if I asked Millie while she was at work to help me with my tool, she would have to oblige.

Cmacker 5,303 10
09/06/2007 02:23 AM

Then you weren't paying attention. Your tool is not her department.

Millie 116,988 28
09/06/2007 02:31 AM

Cracka, do you think that the female associates don't have to hear that crap all day long?

Some customers think that we HAVE to be polite to them even when they are pigs. But, luckily, at the stores where I've worked, our managers will ask such a customer to leave.

I have no need to call a manager when it happens to me. If you ever meet me in person, you will see that I can make you feel emasculated just by looking at you in a certain way.

If you don't believe me, ask Al. Or Nutbutter.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/06/2007 02:32 AM

Millie can hurt me without hitting me and she can hit me without hurting me.

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
09/06/2007 04:34 AM

douchebaggery

Paper or plastic?

Tweak 18,881 12
09/06/2007 06:14 AM

All I established from this thread is that Walmart sucks and Millie should become a plumber.

In all seriousness, virtually anyone can get a better job. Stop bitching and do something about it.

Neep is whooooooo 35,066 15
09/06/2007 06:56 AM

When I worked at KFC, the worst part was telling customers that there was a half hour wait on chicken and leaving out "because the cook has a bottle of Jack Daniels back there."

Whenever customers got pissed off and said they were going to ring the manager and complain, I smiled sweetly and said "please do. Do you think we enjoy being so short staffed and working with tossers?"

Neep is whooooooo 35,066 15
09/06/2007 06:57 AM

Hehe, who else sees "Jack Daniels," giggles and thinks "Heeeee! That's half an SG team right there."

Napkin 30,762 12
09/06/2007 08:15 AM

STEAK INTERRUPTION!

Neep is whooooooo 35,066 15
09/06/2007 08:19 AM

The correct phrase is interrupting cow. N00b.

Sunny and Capricious Bikini 62,262 18
09/06/2007 10:48 AM

When I worked at KFC, the worst part was telling customers that there was a half hour wait on chicken and leaving out "because the cook has a bottle of Jack Daniels back there."


I used to work at Tim Horton's in Canada. After 9pm, just two of us worked, while my supervisor doing the bake in the back of the store, and me doing everything out front, namely counter and drive-through. If it got busy, I could ring her and she'd come help.

One time it got very busy, both in the store and in the drive-through and as much as I called for my supervisor, she wasn't coming. I was actually getting worried about her, but I couldn't go look because the store front can't be left empty. Of course, the customers were starting to verbally abuse me, because no one likes to wait more than .2 seconds for their coffee and yelling insults is apparently supposed to make me work faster than humanly possible.

This little old lady, I love her to pieces, finally just yelled at the men hassling me behind her in queue: "Settle down! It's not the poor girl's fault, it's her damn manager's for lazying around outside necking with her boyfriend!"

I hate irresponsible management, and I love that wee little old lady.

Phuc 237,919 21
09/06/2007 01:56 PM

I was working customer service at Bread & Circus (now Whole Foods) the day the Perfect Storm hit. We spent much of the morning putting packing tape on the windows. At around 10AM, the store manager decided to close the store, as the weather reports were predicting a storm that would make it difficult for many employees to make it home on time.

As the front end supervisor, I was charged with the task of locking the front doors. As I'm approaching the entrance, I see--about 30 yards away--Michaela.

Now I know that I've mentioned before that I think the name pronounced Mick-KAY-luh is the worst name ever. Worse than Gert B. Frobe. Worse than Froststain Q. Bukkake. I Frost-ing hate that name. Here's the catch: Michaela was a pre-op trannie who would just write in an "a" at the end of his name on his checks. Frost-ing freak. He/she/it was always a pain in everyone's ass, returning every other thing it bought.

So he looks in the store and sees me with the big-ass key ring. He starts to run. I have to pretend not to see him and I do my best fast-walk-while-not-looking-like-I'm-walking-fast.

I get there as Michaela is six feet from the door. I look up to see this pleading face adorned with a makeup job that would make Tammy Faye look like a tree-hugger. I do the eyebrows raise, palms up, "Sorry, dudechick" look and turn away.

All is silent in the store, and as soon as Michaela's back is to us, the whole front end breaks into cheers.

Even amongst the crunchiest, earthiest, most communistic bunch of proletariat, there's going to be someone who we can all mercilessly make fun of.

Straw 98,005 37
09/06/2007 02:12 PM

Oddly enough, in my time in the food service industry (McDonald's, Western Sizzlin and Busch Gardens), I never had any memorably bad experiences with customers. I did, however, appreciate how hard the work is and always tried to remember ever since to at the very least be polite and patient. And if they were really messing things up, to be polite and sympathetic in expressing my displeasure.

I can't say that I always succeed - my temper is shorter than it was ten years ago - but I try.

It's funny - in my post above I was frustrated with the Walmart employee for not speaking up about the 20 items or less rule, but at the same time I acknowledged to myself that enforcing that rule would have been very difficult.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/06/2007 02:23 PM

Here's the catch: Michaela was a pre-op trannie who would just write in an "a" at the end of his name on his checks.


Wouldn't that make it pronounced "MIKE-el-ah?" Like Michael, with an "a" sound?


I would never be able to remember to say Mikayla, nor would I want to.

KChikita - Contains 12 inches of future genius! 128,344 98
09/06/2007 02:26 PM

I once had a roommate named Michael. Our cable bill was in his name and I had to call about service one day, so I pretended to be "Michael __________" but in normal female voice.

CSR: "YOU'RE Michael?"
K: "Yes."
CSR: "Michael __________?"
K: "Yes!"
CSR: "Are you sure?"
K: "Look, I'm not especially thrilled with it either, okay?? Just turn the Frost-ing cable back on!"

Phuc 237,919 21
09/06/2007 03:31 PM

Unfortunately, there have been women named Michael.


WTF, though? I mean, naming a boy Michael is already a lazy-ass thing to do. What are these parents thinking? "I dunno. Michael, I guess? What? It's a girl. Frost it. Just Frost it. It's still Michael. Now leave me the Frost alone while I drink away my last remaining moments of freedom and sanity."

Dogs Akimbo 211,588 32
09/06/2007 03:37 PM

I worked as a 'cook' at KFC. At least one in five of the pieces of chicken touched someone's junk before going onto the breading table.

Chickens VonGoatherd 286,556 61
09/06/2007 04:19 PM

Ummm. Susanna Hoffs and those eyes.


Scuze me, I'm gonna have to go walk like an egyptian...

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,711 7
09/06/2007 04:32 PM

Millie,

All I asking for is decent customer service and some knowledge of their products. As for the amount I have spent in the last 2 years would be equal to about $20,000 plus add in the number of jobs that I do on the side for other people. I don't profess to be an expert at home improvement but I am very competent. I would assume that someone working at home depot would be able to answer questions about their products.

I used to work retail when I was younger and we were taught that you take care of the customer. The attitude of most Home Depot employees (not all) is that they don't care. That is why I will spend more money to go my local hardware store where they still value a customer. If they don't have what I need I will go to Lowes (which is next door to the depot) and at least for now, are glad to assist you.

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,711 7
09/06/2007 04:36 PM

And I am always nice to someone working there unless they give me an attitude or lie to me. I feel bad for people in work environment like that. It sucks, but that's not my fault.

Tweak 18,881 12
09/06/2007 06:16 PM

I hate irresponsible management, and I love that wee little old lady.

Psst! Wee means little!

Cmacker 5,303 10
09/06/2007 06:22 PM

Unfortunately, there have been women named Michael.

When my kid was in kindergarten I was up all night baking cookies and doing all her Valentine's Shakespeare for Valentine's day. Each kid got their stupid little card, some cookies, and a pencil. The cards and pencils were different for boys and girls. All I had to go by was a class list.

When she got home from school that day she cried to me, "Mooooooooom!!! Why did you give Charlie all boy stuff???"

She was all, "Mom, you suck." Then I was all, "Next year do it your damn self."

Chickens VonGoatherd 286,556 61
09/06/2007 06:24 PM

Did you answer, "Cause Charlie's mom is angleing for a bull dyke daughter?"

Cmacker 5,303 10
09/06/2007 06:30 PM

Well, no. Because she was, well, you know, five.

Millie 116,988 28
09/07/2007 01:54 AM

In all seriousness, virtually anyone can get a better job. Stop bitching and do something about it.

Yes, it's extremely easy to find a job with some health benefits and a paycheck that will keep me above the poverty level where I live. Thank you so much--I never would have thought of it!

By the way, how old are you, 18? And do you even know what the economy or job situation is where I live?

No, I didn't think so, so STFU.

Oh, and Fezig, I treat all customers the same, no matter how much they've spent. The thing of it is, it's the douchebags who feel the need to tell me.

You know what my response is? "Well, I've spent about 12,000 hours here."

Tweak 18,881 12
09/07/2007 06:28 AM

I'm 20.

Tweak 18,881 12
09/07/2007 07:01 AM

While I'm at it, I never said it was easy. If it really comes down to it, move somewhere where you can get a better job.

Idk, my bff Frogpop? 173,153 25
09/07/2007 07:07 AM

Or just ask for a raise in your allowance. Gosh!

Phuc 237,919 21
09/07/2007 10:52 AM

I'm 20.

Here, then, are the things about which you are qualified to have an opinion:

How Damien Rice's last album didn't measure up.

The fall lineup on the CW.

Eating Poe.

How cool the iPhone is.

Or let's just boil it down to two things: Jack and Shakespeare.

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,711 7
09/07/2007 02:18 PM

Millie,

I wish the Home Depot near me employed you. Then I would at least have a regular employee who still valued a customer.

My Home Depot has one guy, who works in the tool rental section who actually is knowledgable and has great customer service skills.

Millie, as you know all to well, that is exception and not the norm.

Napkin 30,762 12
09/07/2007 11:43 PM

I thought only retards work at Home Depot?

Taco Crunch, vitriolic dick. 61,976 36
09/07/2007 11:53 PM

I shop at Wal Mart because I'm a Frost-ing broke ass college kid. If Whole Foods was cheap I'd be there for my groceries instead. I like Whole Foods. My bank account doesn't.

At Wal Mart last week my roommate and I cought a real gem. A late 50something guy was checking out in the self checkout next to us with the most horrible toupee ever. Ever. His hair was mostly gray with some dark reddish brown, mostly bald down to well past the tops of his ears. The rug was almost black, mottled, and stopped a good inch and a half before his natural hair started.

Werehampsta 6,375 8
09/08/2007 12:11 AM

I wasn't aware that Charlie had finished transitioning.

Jeprosy 58,758 13
09/08/2007 01:36 AM

Unfortunately, there have been women named Michael.

I dated a girl named Peter in Australia. Thank God she didn't have one.

Obese Expletive 3,430 7
09/08/2007 01:50 AM

The question is though did she have one at some point.

I'm asking for a friend ummm yeah.

Jeprosy 58,758 13
09/08/2007 01:52 AM

Nope. According to her she just had parents who wanted a boy.