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Frost Las Vegas
A comedy conversation by syncope 49,019 14
09/07/2007 08:43 PM 224 views

Some of you may remember I went to see my girlfriend in Las Vegas for her birthday a few weekends ago. To recap:

My car broke down 70 miles outside Vegas in the desert. I was out there for about four or five hours.

I got towed in on a strap behind a giant Dodge Ram. Spending an hour or so feathering your breaks to avoid smashing into the truck three feet in front of you is absolutely joyous.

I ate a $300 meal that my girlfriend had to buy on her birthday because I had no money.

She moved to New York and I was stuck alone in Vegas. I had no money so I downgraded to a Shakespearety casino hotel outside Henderson, NV.

I got fired for missing Monday since, you know, I was stranded in Nevada with no car. Oh, and they fired me via voicemail.

I am back in LA. I am poor. I am hungry. My rent is overdue.

I have been on four separate interviews with one company and I'm starting to feel like a booty call because they keep promising I'll hear from them "any day now."

If there's any money in the Po' Gabbers Fund I'd like to request a pistol and one (1) bullet be Fedexed to my apartment. Someone can come out and get the pistol back afterward if they like. The bullet will be nonrefundable.

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Chuckleworthy 5 votes 2.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701470
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8 Comments on "

Frost Las Vegas

"

(Funniest: The Demomonkey is a Demigod,Shep - best served chilled,Cinderblock)


Hilarious 7 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701474
Shep - best served chilled 619 6
09/07/2007 08:52 PM

She moved to New York just because you couldn't afford dinner??


What a Carroll.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701476
Cinderblock 27,578 25
09/07/2007 08:59 PM

I don't have money to give, but I have HUGS!

Oh, wait, I forgot, you're a GABber... I'll get right on that gun thing...

Actually, I can't afford to buy you a gun, so I'll just send you some rope.

 

Funny 6 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701481
syncope 49,019 14
09/07/2007 09:08 PM

Now I just need to find a gun that can fire rope at an extremely high velocity.

 

Funny 9 votes 3.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701510
Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
09/07/2007 10:14 PM

She moved to New York while you were visiting her?

Are you absolutely sure she's your girlfriend? I think you might be confused.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701579
TheFoye 55,700 16
09/08/2007 04:35 AM

Of all the fat chicks in Vegas and you couldn't get "comped", what the hell is wrong with you.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701584
Shell Belle 77,143 25
09/08/2007 04:51 AM

I have a gun and bullet that I can send to you.

It should be there any day now.

 

Funny 3 votes 3.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701637
Pubah 56,805 18
09/08/2007 03:33 PM

Instead of a gun, consider investing in a cardboard (large home appliance type) and a shopping cart.

You'd be suprised what life has in store for you if you're flexible.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1701667
The Demomonkey is a Demigod 77,546 17
09/08/2007 10:18 PM

Just send him a bullet. He can throw it at himself really hard.