Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
09/16/2007 05:43 PM

Concave

Pubah 54,895 17
09/16/2007 05:47 PM

"Mis-shapen udders"

...Worked for me last night.

Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
09/16/2007 05:49 PM

Mosquito bites!

Chit 178,088 15
09/16/2007 05:54 PM

"raisin titties"

--Eddie Murphy

(is never good)

Chit 178,088 15
09/16/2007 05:56 PM

"Kneepads" should also get you the couch... all to yourself.

Undies, about to be a mommy again! 99,723 76
09/16/2007 06:24 PM

Infected mosquito bites.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 174,473 52
09/16/2007 06:33 PM

"They look nice, but I could use a little more cowbell."

TWSS - Oracle of the mighty Priest Al 25,999 24
09/16/2007 06:33 PM

Sandbags

KChikita - Contains 12 inches of future genius! 124,276 89
09/16/2007 06:57 PM

Socks full of marbles.

Chit 178,088 15
09/16/2007 07:00 PM

Does anyone else get the mental image of Miss Choksondik from this premise?


I would have posted this a lot sooner, but when you do an image search for
Chokes On Dick...you don't get a Shakespeareload of South Park drawings like I was expecting.


BTW...that last link = NSFW

Spicey McHaggis 114,978 33
09/16/2007 07:00 PM

Totally Tubular!

dropkick brody 43,075 12
09/16/2007 08:01 PM

"Mis-shapen udders"

I'm thinking calling them 'udders' would be bad enough on its own.

Calling them fried eggs would also be pretty soul destroying.

My Logic Is Phlawed. 130,632 34
09/16/2007 08:55 PM

"Wait... you're a girl?!"

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 566 6
09/17/2007 12:33 AM

Pendulous, like the scrotum of a negroid gentleman.

Keep Robert Goulet away..with SHP! 181,263 70
09/17/2007 12:37 AM

Bologna.

Thud 66,695 17
09/17/2007 12:45 AM

Approaching belthood.

Black Betty (bam-ba-lam) 173,911 15
09/17/2007 12:58 AM

Bologna.


Bitch.

Phuc 237,453 20
09/17/2007 01:00 AM

Bag of sand.

Thud 66,695 17
09/17/2007 01:03 AM

Dude, TWSS already went there (any thereby destroyed some GABber's fantasies).

TWSS - Oracle of the mighty Priest Al 25,999 24
09/17/2007 01:17 AM

Hey! I ain't got no sandbag titties!







NO I WILL NOT PROVE IT.

Cinderblock 27,522 24
09/17/2007 01:18 AM

A scrotum with nipples.

Thud 66,695 17
09/17/2007 01:19 AM

Good to know TWSS. I'll make a note of it.

TWSS - Oracle of the mighty Priest Al 25,999 24
09/17/2007 01:41 AM

I'll tell the others to make room for you out in the stalker tree.

Millie 116,854 28
09/17/2007 02:32 AM

I would think, if you want to get laid and can't think of anything nice, don't say anything.

I also think most men are clever enough to have figured this out.

Neophyte 9,942 10
09/17/2007 03:56 AM

Hot water bottles.

Aphrodite 2,261 12
09/17/2007 03:56 AM

anything including the word "floppy"

DinoExplosion 1,743 8
09/17/2007 05:06 AM

She's got them old flapjack titties.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
09/17/2007 05:48 AM

"Carl from Accounting and Mrs. Pearson, the mayor's wife."

Barnyard Fowl 282,028 58
09/17/2007 06:05 AM

Cow-like

peoriagrace 6,153 11
09/17/2007 06:42 AM

Non-existant on this plane

Your chest reminds me of treasure:






Sunken that is.

I need some foreplay; can I play with the dogs boobs first?

You know I thought sea level was the lowest point.

Shell Belle 76,640 24
09/17/2007 03:28 PM

deflated balloons

Sarin - Returning as always 699 11
09/17/2007 03:34 PM

"pull your tits out of your underware already!"

Neophyte 9,942 10
09/18/2007 07:18 AM

"Hammer-flaps"

drunkenfart 4,871 6
09/18/2007 05:43 PM

pillow cases half filled with ricotta cheese and hung from a nail.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
09/18/2007 05:46 PM

how about an egg running down a wall?

Undies, about to be a mommy again! 99,723 76
09/18/2007 05:47 PM

Dude, who the Frost are you sleeping with?

Zolton in the Sky with Doofuses 87,649 31
09/18/2007 05:49 PM

"Droopalicious".

cattnip 795 6
09/18/2007 06:56 PM

Meat flaps?

Cletus Delroy Spuckler 280 6
09/18/2007 07:10 PM

You could always say that they remind you of your mom's tits.

Dave's not here 52,810 16
09/18/2007 07:11 PM

stuck in her belt.

Les Manturd 277,313 52
09/18/2007 07:12 PM

Flip flops.

Shep - best served chilled 610 6
09/18/2007 07:15 PM

Is it me or are they pointing in different directions?

Miss. All White Meat Trixxie 65,014 14
09/18/2007 07:33 PM

saggy sacks of lumpy dog Shakespeare?

Marmite - freaking out since '79 12,940 12
09/18/2007 07:34 PM

My BF calls mine 'dugs'. I find it so......agricultural. It really upsets me.

Captain Blackhearted Jaggeh 860 7
09/19/2007 10:25 AM

You have the breasts of a ten year old. its hot.

Thank you Boob Lady! 57,478 23
09/19/2007 12:02 PM

The phrase 'a festering affront to humanity' is usually enough to get you a night on the couch.

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,711 6
09/19/2007 06:01 PM

You could always say,

"They remind me of something I saw in a National Geographic Magazine once..."

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,711 6
09/19/2007 06:02 PM

You could always call them snack bites.

Schrodinger 35 5
09/19/2007 06:34 PM

"They could be bigger"
"No, then they'd just hang down lower."

YeOleSmurf 299 6
09/20/2007 01:41 PM

Suckle Sticks (for the preggers)

Neophyte 9,942 10
09/20/2007 04:43 PM

"Frost-ing gross."

Sharri 14,124 11
09/20/2007 04:48 PM

Just like mine except maybe a little better.

Sharri 14,124 11
09/20/2007 04:49 PM

That is assuming I am a guy. Otherwise, nothing is better than mine.

The Jerk 6,291 9
09/20/2007 06:53 PM

"The milk's gone bad!"

DieLawn 494 6
09/21/2007 05:36 AM

"Looks like a couple of rabid squirrels fighting over cottage cheese."

Golden Words 977 8
09/27/2007 12:15 AM

Whatever you do, don't include the words "cokerspanial's ears" anywhere in the comparison.

Thud 66,695 17
09/27/2007 12:17 AM

"cokerspanial's ears"

You're right, it's not a good idea to use this when talking to your wife, since she won't have any idea what you're talking about.

Word of the Day 48 5
09/27/2007 12:19 AM

They look like grandma's.

OH SHIT! 8,390 9
09/27/2007 12:32 AM

I don't have huge breasts [although with a good bra and a bit positioning I can manage a little cleavage] so I'm usually flattered when someone notices them at all [regaurdless of what they call them].

Thud 66,695 17
09/27/2007 01:07 AM

If you send picutres, I'll notice them for you.

Anastasia 7 5
10/03/2007 10:51 AM

A friend of mine gave his wife a t-shirt with "Front" and "Back" written on it.

And an older woman I know described her nipples as "inverted".

Ick.

Stuey's Fav Girl... 53 6
10/03/2007 01:32 PM

I have a song that I heard somewhere... and i seem to find myself singing lots... Not sure what the tune is but it's to an old Play School song.

Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your boobs hang low.

Pram 78,171 40
10/03/2007 10:28 PM

Chest Poe.

Pram 78,171 40
10/03/2007 10:39 PM

Sloppy joes.

Thud 66,695 17
10/03/2007 10:47 PM

Lumpy, like a comfortable couch.

Pram 78,171 40
10/04/2007 12:12 AM

<action>if her breasts aren't both the same size</action>A sack of dimes, and a bag of nickels.

Dwight Fry 77,085 13
10/04/2007 12:15 AM

unfunbags?

Thud 66,695 17
10/04/2007 12:18 AM

TTJ is going to beat you.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 14
10/04/2007 01:54 AM

dangerous

OH SHIT! 8,390 9
10/04/2007 02:38 AM

I have a song that I heard somewhere... and i seem to find myself singing lots... Not sure what the tune is but it's to an old Play School song.

Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your boobs hang low.

That's close... but it's balls , not boobs.
Do your balls hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your balls hang low

ringworm 68,315 13
10/04/2007 02:52 AM

regentmental isn't a word. the lyric is continental. sheesh.

OH SHIT! 8,390 9
10/04/2007 03:08 AM

Worm !!! How are you ?
I thought you must have been out in the sun to long and shrivelled up and died.
Well, that or alcohol poisoning...

Beezus 160 5
10/04/2007 01:36 PM

"Love nuggets" or "cum catchers".

"Gravy boats" is also acceptable.

Sexy, Classy, Bikini 62,254 18
10/04/2007 01:52 PM

Lumpy, like a comfortable couch.


This is all sorts of awesome, but learn the art of critical complimenting. It should be more as follows:

"Darling, your breasts are like a comfortable couch, ("aww, really?") you know, familiar, cosy, well-worn, lumpy and a little tattered around around the edges."

TorchAteTeen 3,239 8
10/04/2007 03:48 PM

Jubbly-rub-a-roos

Pram 78,171 40
10/04/2007 07:48 PM

Limp biscuits.

Pram 78,171 40
10/04/2007 07:49 PM

Dog chews.

Pram 78,171 40
10/04/2007 07:52 PM

Rape signals.

Beezus 160 5
10/04/2007 07:55 PM

"Juice Boxes"

Beezus 160 5
10/04/2007 08:12 PM

"comparable to the titties on that hooker I bought for a crack rock last night..'

Pram 78,171 40
10/04/2007 09:14 PM

Lady yarbles.

Thud 66,695 17
10/04/2007 10:43 PM

Well broken-in.

Pram 78,171 40
10/05/2007 02:22 AM

Chest butt.

Obese Expletive 3,430 6
10/05/2007 02:25 AM

<action>Drool's</action>
Boobies

Pram 78,171 40
10/05/2007 02:30 AM

Pizza dough.

Pubah 54,895 17
10/05/2007 02:39 AM

Half full water balloons...


...or half empty if you're a pessimist.

Pram 78,171 40
10/05/2007 03:49 AM

Confused stomach fat.

Pram 78,171 40
10/05/2007 04:07 AM

Torso taffy.

Beezus 160 5
10/06/2007 11:36 AM

"sumo rack"

"veiny,like a road map"

"curdled puddin' cups"

"Coleridgeeyed"

Or anything with the words "high dollar transsexual".

bigfaketits 26 5
10/06/2007 04:33 PM

You should get those two moles checked out on your back. Oh, sorry I didn't realize.

Chance loves Twinkie the Kid! 171,220 14
10/06/2007 04:37 PM

I've called someone near and dear to me "cyclops" since we were teenagers. She has one tit an A cup and the other a D.

Albion 42 6
10/08/2007 10:26 PM

Cheap fakes.

I Beez Uscared 160 5
10/08/2007 11:43 PM

"harder than a hockey puck"

DieLawn 494 6
10/14/2007 06:48 AM

Big Larry and his little friend.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 78,171 40
10/14/2007 10:24 AM

Chest butt

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 78,171 40
10/14/2007 10:26 AM

Goddamn it, my stupid drunk ass already said that Shakespeare.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
10/14/2007 02:01 PM

A guy says to a woman: "You have the smallest tits and the tightest Poe I've ever seen."

"Get off my back!"

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
10/14/2007 11:12 PM

I call my wife's tits Wilma and Betty.

I don't tell her it's because they've been around since the stone age.

relty 1 4
11/04/2009 04:03 AM

goobies

UnderSpiced Rum 99,723 76
11/04/2009 06:24 AM

I had no idea I had started this thread until I scrolled back up to the top. I should have bookmarked it - I can't remember Spicey ever calling my tits glorious.

Yuoaman 123 6
11/04/2009 10:32 AM

Nice an' mushy.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
11/04/2009 11:33 AM

I've seen the Underboobs, and they are quite glorious. She has the boobs of a 19 year old (well, she did when she showed them, anyway). I will refrain from commenting on other parts of her I've seen.


And for what it's worth, I think my comment above is one of the funniest things I've ever said. I don't remember writing it, and reading it just now cracked me up.

UnderSpiced Rum 99,723 76
11/04/2009 01:43 PM

I will refrain from commenting on other parts of her I've seen.

Yeah, thanks for that.

Pants 14,213 17
11/04/2009 02:18 PM

Women tend to go from 0 to uber bitch in under 2.5 seconds after hearing "milk bags."

Yuoaman 123 6
11/04/2009 02:34 PM

Women tend to go from 0 to uber bitch in under 2.5 seconds after hearing "milk bags."

1.3 if they think you're serious about it.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/04/2009 03:04 PM

Purple mushroom'd.

Lord Blackadder 325 4
11/04/2009 04:53 PM

You have nipples like the Apollo launch buttons.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/04/2009 05:45 PM

boo-boo's.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/05/2009 09:03 AM

Absent.

Pumpkin' hair pie gal 12,075 15
11/05/2009 09:17 AM

"Yay!!!, Flapjack(s) for breakfast!

I've brought the syrup!"

Pumpkin' hair pie gal 12,075 15
11/05/2009 09:18 AM

Froster

Yuoaman 123 6
11/05/2009 09:41 AM

Almost as good as they used to be!

Lobster With Gravy and Stuffing 17,422 30
11/05/2009 10:38 AM

That girl has some nice tits..... yours are better, of course, but, damn.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/05/2009 10:50 AM

Stretchy, but with no memory.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 62,361 20
11/05/2009 11:31 AM

Leaking.

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 6,338 4
11/05/2009 11:45 AM

Stretchy, but with no memory.

At least there's jokes on the wrapper shirt.

Lobster With Gravy and Stuffing 17,422 30
11/05/2009 11:56 AM

Not such a good idea.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/05/2009 03:05 PM

Stupid.

*used in a sentence*:

"Your breasts are stupid."

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 6,338 4
11/05/2009 03:31 PM

That girl has some nice tits..... yours are better, of course, but, damn.

It's like if driving a DeLorean for the last ten years, then seeing a brand new Camaro. The DeLorean is still way, kick ass better, but check out how Frost-ing awesome that new Camaro is!

Lorenzo Duke 3,100 11
11/06/2009 02:45 AM

Passable.

Cyco A-Maize-ing Ivan 11,324 11
11/06/2009 05:41 AM

You have nipples like a pair of Pink Pearl erasers. Mind if I rub one out with them?

Cyco A-Maize-ing Ivan 11,324 11
11/06/2009 05:44 AM

Leaking.

Also true in my case.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/06/2009 11:22 AM

cancerous.

Randall Cleveland 49,000 13
11/06/2009 12:30 PM

Runny.

Warm Chance Buns. 171,220 14
11/06/2009 12:56 PM

Well, if youre describing your wifes tits to your mistress you could pretty much say anything about them and its gonna piss her off.

Clatto Verata Shempto 22,212 16
11/06/2009 01:20 PM

"Like an ol' hound dog's ears."

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/06/2009 02:32 PM

salty and gamey.

the fun in disfunctional 1,970 6
11/06/2009 02:39 PM

Knee socks with apples in the toes

dinesh 24,837 15
11/06/2009 03:52 PM

I was excited to see TWSS return in this thread, then sad to see that her posts were from 2007.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/07/2009 01:52 PM

"memorably ugly."

Madness 4,360 10
11/07/2009 03:11 PM

"Are you sure you haven't had kids before?"

Sanita 0 3
11/07/2009 05:37 PM

Look gravity cleavage

A Marinating Sash 1,353 7
11/07/2009 09:41 PM

Any pics in this thread?

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
11/07/2009 09:45 PM

Yes.

A Marinating Sash 1,353 7
11/07/2009 09:50 PM

I meant pictures of BOOBS. You should have just posted a picture of yourself.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
11/07/2009 10:42 PM

That's just one.

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 6,338 4
11/08/2009 02:12 AM

Suspecting.

Quit staring at me!

Lorenzo Duke 3,100 11
11/08/2009 08:55 AM

Kafka-esque.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/08/2009 10:10 AM

Capable of taking a life.

Ghost of Chickens Past 282,028 58
11/08/2009 12:37 PM

I think he meant non-scary pictures.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/08/2009 12:53 PM

stress balls!

peoriagrace 6,153 11
11/08/2009 12:59 PM

Pillows of squallor

The flatlands

Humphrey 51,759 12
11/08/2009 11:28 PM

Fried Eggs

The guy who rotated your drink 86 4
11/09/2009 04:17 AM

So flat you make walls jealous.

Lorenzo Duke 3,100 11
11/09/2009 04:39 AM

Stomach-churning

Lorenzo Duke 3,100 11
11/09/2009 04:43 AM

A sweeping victory for gravity.

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/09/2009 06:41 AM

Plastic surgery candidate!

Pants 14,213 17
11/09/2009 01:43 PM

Utters

sea urchins

water balloons

fat sacks

chest nuts

calcium canteens

Pudding Pops the Rhymnocerous 1,273 9
11/09/2009 10:55 PM

If you're a pedophile, you might call them noobs

hairy punkin pie gal 12,075 15
11/10/2009 03:05 AM

Pants
11/09/2009 01:43 PM
"Utters"

"Ahem, take your hands off of my udder.", the milking cow uttered.

Fartpuppy 5,142 12
11/10/2009 03:13 AM

Cows milk themselves now?

Pramable Lectern 78,171 40
11/10/2009 06:54 AM

Ephemeral.

hairy punkin pie gal 12,075 15
11/10/2009 07:34 AM

Pram dear,

There is a special cream on the market to keep you from being ephemeral. Would you like me to send you some for x-mas? Or is it too late, again?

The momb 212 4
12/01/2009 03:29 PM

"It's OK honey, more than a mouthful is a waste!"

Alarm Clock the chubby Snow-bot 6,338 4 sucks on lactating nipple.
12/01/2009 03:35 PM

"Mmmmm... Just like Mom used to make."