Spicey McHaggis 102,789 13
09/17/2007 02:43 AM

Concave

Pubah 47,449 11
09/17/2007 02:47 AM

"Mis-shapen udders"

...Worked for me last night.

Spicey McHaggis 102,789 13
09/17/2007 02:49 AM

Mosquito bites!

Chit 163,898 10
09/17/2007 02:54 AM

"raisin titties"

--Eddie Murphy

(is never good)

Chit 163,898 10
09/17/2007 02:56 AM

"Kneepads" should also get you the couch... all to yourself.

Undies, about to be a mommy again! 72,856 16
09/17/2007 03:24 AM

Infected mosquito bites.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 130,735 14
09/17/2007 03:33 AM

"They look nice, but I could use a little more cowbell."

TWSS - Oracle of the mighty Priest Al 14,736 8
09/17/2007 03:33 AM

Sandbags

KChikita - Contains 12 inches of future genius! 50,423 11
09/17/2007 03:57 AM

Socks full of marbles.

Chit 163,898 10
09/17/2007 04:00 AM

Does anyone else get the mental image of Miss Choksondik from this premise?


I would have posted this a lot sooner, but when you do an image search for
Chokes On Dick...you don't get a Shakespeareload of South Park drawings like I was expecting.


BTW...that last link = NSFW

Spicey McHaggis 102,789 13
09/17/2007 04:00 AM

Totally Tubular!

dropkick brody 41,441 9
09/17/2007 05:01 AM

"Mis-shapen udders"

I'm thinking calling them 'udders' would be bad enough on its own.

Calling them fried eggs would also be pretty soul destroying.

My Logic Is Phlawed. 103,268 13
09/17/2007 05:55 AM

"Wait... you're a girl?!"

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 566 4
09/17/2007 09:33 AM

Pendulous, like the scrotum of a negroid gentleman.

Keep Robert Goulet away..with SHP! 126,292 11
09/17/2007 09:37 AM

Bologna.

Thud 53,122 10
09/17/2007 09:45 AM

Approaching belthood.

Black Betty (bam-ba-lam) 168,693 11
09/17/2007 09:58 AM

Bologna.


Bitch.

Phuc 231,300 13
09/17/2007 10:00 AM

Bag of sand.

Thud 53,122 10
09/17/2007 10:03 AM

Dude, TWSS already went there (any thereby destroyed some GABber's fantasies).

TWSS - Oracle of the mighty Priest Al 14,736 8
09/17/2007 10:17 AM

Hey! I ain't got no sandbag titties!







NO I WILL NOT PROVE IT.

Cinderblock 19,843 10
09/17/2007 10:18 AM

A scrotum with nipples.

Thud 53,122 10
09/17/2007 10:19 AM

Good to know TWSS. I'll make a note of it.

TWSS - Oracle of the mighty Priest Al 14,736 8
09/17/2007 10:41 AM

I'll tell the others to make room for you out in the stalker tree.

Millie 107,039 10
09/17/2007 11:32 AM

I would think, if you want to get laid and can't think of anything nice, don't say anything.

I also think most men are clever enough to have figured this out.

Neophyte 9,610 7
09/17/2007 12:56 PM

Hot water bottles.

Aphrodite 2,257 11
09/17/2007 12:56 PM

anything including the word "floppy"

DinoExplosion 1,741 6
09/17/2007 02:06 PM

She's got them old flapjack titties.

Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11
09/17/2007 02:48 PM

"Carl from Accounting and Mrs. Pearson, the mayor's wife."

Barnyard Fowl 238,102 14
09/17/2007 03:05 PM

Cow-like

peoriagrace 5,962 9
09/17/2007 03:42 PM

Non-existant on this plane

Your chest reminds me of treasure:






Sunken that is.

I need some foreplay; can I play with the dogs boobs first?

You know I thought sea level was the lowest point.

Shell Belle 31,380 9
09/18/2007 12:28 AM

deflated balloons

Sarin - Returning as always 643 6
09/18/2007 12:34 AM

"pull your tits out of your underware already!"

Neophyte 9,610 7
09/18/2007 04:18 PM

"Hammer-flaps"

drunkenfart 4,812 4
09/19/2007 02:43 AM

pillow cases half filled with ricotta cheese and hung from a nail.

drunkenfart 4,812 4
09/19/2007 02:46 AM

how about an egg running down a wall?

Undies, about to be a mommy again! 72,856 16
09/19/2007 02:47 AM

Dude, who the Frost are you sleeping with?

Zolton in the Sky with Doofuses 71,089 8
09/19/2007 02:49 AM

"Droopalicious".

cattnip 790 4
09/19/2007 03:56 AM

Meat flaps?

Cletus Delroy Spuckler 277 3
09/19/2007 04:10 AM

You could always say that they remind you of your mom's tits.

Dave's not here 47,976 5
09/19/2007 04:11 AM

stuck in her belt.

Les Manturd 219,200 13
09/19/2007 04:12 AM

Flip flops.

Shep - best served chilled 610 4
09/19/2007 04:15 AM

Is it me or are they pointing in different directions?

Miss. All White Meat Trixxie 64,462 13
09/19/2007 04:33 AM

saggy sacks of lumpy dog Shakespeare?

Marmite - freaking out since '79 5,619 5
09/19/2007 04:34 AM

My BF calls mine 'dugs'. I find it so......agricultural. It really upsets me.

Captain Blackhearted Jaggeh 857 4
09/19/2007 07:25 PM

You have the breasts of a ten year old. its hot.

Thank you Boob Lady! 51,808 10
09/19/2007 09:02 PM

The phrase 'a festering affront to humanity' is usually enough to get you a night on the couch.

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,599 5
09/20/2007 03:01 AM

You could always say,

"They remind me of something I saw in a National Geographic Magazine once..."

Fezig ... are there rocks ahead... 3,599 5
09/20/2007 03:02 AM

You could always call them snack bites.

Schrodinger 35 3
09/20/2007 03:34 AM

"They could be bigger"
"No, then they'd just hang down lower."

YeOleSmurf 297 3
09/20/2007 10:41 PM

Suckle Sticks (for the preggers)

Neophyte 9,610 7
09/21/2007 01:43 AM

"Frost-ing gross."

Sharri 14,055 8
09/21/2007 01:48 AM

Just like mine except maybe a little better.

Sharri 14,055 8
09/21/2007 01:49 AM

That is assuming I am a guy. Otherwise, nothing is better than mine.

The Jerk 6,248 5
09/21/2007 03:53 AM

"The milk's gone bad!"

DieLawn 487 4
09/21/2007 02:36 PM

"Looks like a couple of rabid squirrels fighting over cottage cheese."

Golden Words 959 6
09/27/2007 09:15 AM

Whatever you do, don't include the words "cokerspanial's ears" anywhere in the comparison.

Thud 53,122 10
09/27/2007 09:17 AM

"cokerspanial's ears"

You're right, it's not a good idea to use this when talking to your wife, since she won't have any idea what you're talking about.

Word of the Day 48 3
09/27/2007 09:19 AM

They look like grandma's.

OH SHIT! 8,376 7
09/27/2007 09:32 AM

I don't have huge breasts [although with a good bra and a bit positioning I can manage a little cleavage] so I'm usually flattered when someone notices them at all [regaurdless of what they call them].

Thud 53,122 10
09/27/2007 10:07 AM

If you send picutres, I'll notice them for you.

Anastasia 7 3
10/03/2007 07:51 PM

A friend of mine gave his wife a t-shirt with "Front" and "Back" written on it.

And an older woman I know described her nipples as "inverted".

Ick.

Stuey's Fav Girl... 53 4
10/03/2007 10:32 PM

I have a song that I heard somewhere... and i seem to find myself singing lots... Not sure what the tune is but it's to an old Play School song.

Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your boobs hang low.

Pram 53,464 11
10/04/2007 07:28 AM

Chest Poe.

Pram 53,464 11
10/04/2007 07:39 AM

Sloppy joes.

Thud 53,122 10
10/04/2007 07:47 AM

Lumpy, like a comfortable couch.

Pram 53,464 11
10/04/2007 09:12 AM

<action>if her breasts aren't both the same size</action>A sack of dimes, and a bag of nickels.

Dwight Fry 76,817 12
10/04/2007 09:15 AM

unfunbags?

Thud 53,122 10
10/04/2007 09:18 AM

TTJ is going to beat you.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,543 13
10/04/2007 10:54 AM

dangerous

OH SHIT! 8,376 7
10/04/2007 11:38 AM

I have a song that I heard somewhere... and i seem to find myself singing lots... Not sure what the tune is but it's to an old Play School song.

Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your boobs hang low.

That's close... but it's balls , not boobs.
Do your balls hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your balls hang low

ringworm 67,989 9
10/04/2007 11:52 AM

regentmental isn't a word. the lyric is continental. sheesh.

OH SHIT! 8,376 7
10/04/2007 12:08 PM

Worm !!! How are you ?
I thought you must have been out in the sun to long and shrivelled up and died.
Well, that or alcohol poisoning...

Beezus 160 3
10/04/2007 10:36 PM

"Love nuggets" or "cum catchers".

"Gravy boats" is also acceptable.

Sexy, Classy, Bikini 59,034 8
10/04/2007 10:52 PM

Lumpy, like a comfortable couch.


This is all sorts of awesome, but learn the art of critical complimenting. It should be more as follows:

"Darling, your breasts are like a comfortable couch, ("aww, really?") you know, familiar, cosy, well-worn, lumpy and a little tattered around around the edges."

TorchAteTeen 3,226 6
10/05/2007 12:48 AM

Jubbly-rub-a-roos

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 04:48 AM

Limp biscuits.

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 04:49 AM

Dog chews.

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 04:52 AM

Rape signals.

Beezus 160 3
10/05/2007 04:55 AM

"Juice Boxes"

Beezus 160 3
10/05/2007 05:12 AM

"comparable to the titties on that hooker I bought for a crack rock last night..'

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 06:14 AM

Lady yarbles.

Thud 53,122 10
10/05/2007 07:43 AM

Well broken-in.

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 11:22 AM

Chest butt.

Obese Expletive 3,427 4
10/05/2007 11:25 AM

<action>Drool's</action>
Boobies

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 11:30 AM

Pizza dough.

Pubah 47,449 11
10/05/2007 11:39 AM

Half full water balloons...


...or half empty if you're a pessimist.

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 12:49 PM

Confused stomach fat.

Pram 53,464 11
10/05/2007 01:07 PM

Torso taffy.

Beezus 160 3
10/06/2007 08:36 PM

"sumo rack"

"veiny,like a road map"

"curdled puddin' cups"

"Coleridgeeyed"

Or anything with the words "high dollar transsexual".

bigfaketits 26 3
10/07/2007 01:33 AM

You should get those two moles checked out on your back. Oh, sorry I didn't realize.

Chance loves Twinkie the Kid! 168,225 11
10/07/2007 01:37 AM

I've called someone near and dear to me "cyclops" since we were teenagers. She has one tit an A cup and the other a D.

Albion 42 4
10/09/2007 07:26 AM

Cheap fakes.

I Beez Uscared 160 3
10/09/2007 08:43 AM

"harder than a hockey puck"

DieLawn 487 4
10/14/2007 03:48 PM

Big Larry and his little friend.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 53,464 11
10/14/2007 07:24 PM

Chest butt

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 53,464 11
10/14/2007 07:26 PM

Goddamn it, my stupid drunk ass already said that Shakespeare.

Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11
10/14/2007 11:01 PM

A guy says to a woman: "You have the smallest tits and the tightest Poe I've ever seen."

"Get off my back!"

Whistler P. McManus 141,469 23
10/15/2007 08:12 AM

I call my wife's tits Wilma and Betty.

I don't tell her it's because they've been around since the stone age.

relty 0 1
11/04/2009 02:03 PM

goobies

UnderSpiced Rum 72,856 16
11/04/2009 04:24 PM

I had no idea I had started this thread until I scrolled back up to the top. I should have bookmarked it - I can't remember Spicey ever calling my tits glorious.

Yuoaman 98 1
11/04/2009 08:32 PM

Nice an' mushy.

Whistler P. McManus 141,469 23
11/04/2009 09:33 PM

I've seen the Underboobs, and they are quite glorious. She has the boobs of a 19 year old (well, she did when she showed them, anyway). I will refrain from commenting on other parts of her I've seen.


And for what it's worth, I think my comment above is one of the funniest things I've ever said. I don't remember writing it, and reading it just now cracked me up.

UnderSpiced Rum 72,856 16
11/04/2009 11:43 PM

I will refrain from commenting on other parts of her I've seen.

Yeah, thanks for that.

Pants 12,163 13
11/05/2009 12:18 AM

Women tend to go from 0 to uber bitch in under 2.5 seconds after hearing "milk bags."

Yuoaman 98 1
11/05/2009 12:34 AM

Women tend to go from 0 to uber bitch in under 2.5 seconds after hearing "milk bags."

1.3 if they think you're serious about it.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/05/2009 01:04 AM

Purple mushroom'd.

Lord Blackadder 313 1
11/05/2009 02:53 AM

You have nipples like the Apollo launch buttons.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/05/2009 03:45 AM

boo-boo's.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 34,376 10
11/05/2009 07:03 PM

Absent.

Pumpkin' hair pie gal 5,564 7
11/05/2009 07:17 PM

"Yay!!!, Flapjack(s) for breakfast!

I've brought the syrup!"

Pumpkin' hair pie gal 5,564 7
11/05/2009 07:18 PM

Froster

Yuoaman 98 1
11/05/2009 07:41 PM

Almost as good as they used to be!

Lobster With Gravy and Stuffing 9,793 9
11/05/2009 08:38 PM

That girl has some nice tits..... yours are better, of course, but, damn.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/05/2009 08:50 PM

Stretchy, but with no memory.

A hunk o' burning Ravos 34,376 10
11/05/2009 09:31 PM

Leaking.

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 5,980 4
11/05/2009 09:45 PM

Stretchy, but with no memory.

At least there's jokes on the wrapper shirt.

Lobster With Gravy and Stuffing 9,793 9
11/05/2009 09:56 PM

Not such a good idea.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/06/2009 01:05 AM

Stupid.

*used in a sentence*:

"Your breasts are stupid."

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 5,980 4
11/06/2009 01:31 AM

That girl has some nice tits..... yours are better, of course, but, damn.

It's like if driving a DeLorean for the last ten years, then seeing a brand new Camaro. The DeLorean is still way, kick ass better, but check out how Frost-ing awesome that new Camaro is!

Lorenzo Duke 3,049 6
11/06/2009 12:45 PM

Passable.

Cyco A-Maize-ing Ivan 9,047 6
11/06/2009 03:41 PM

You have nipples like a pair of Pink Pearl erasers. Mind if I rub one out with them?

Cyco A-Maize-ing Ivan 9,047 6
11/06/2009 03:44 PM

Leaking.

Also true in my case.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/06/2009 09:22 PM

cancerous.

Randall Cleveland 43,805 9
11/06/2009 10:30 PM

Runny.

Warm Chance Buns. 168,225 11
11/06/2009 10:56 PM

Well, if youre describing your wifes tits to your mistress you could pretty much say anything about them and its gonna piss her off.

Clatto Verata Shempto 16,478 9
11/06/2009 11:20 PM

"Like an ol' hound dog's ears."

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/07/2009 12:32 AM

salty and gamey.

the fun in disfunctional 807 4
11/07/2009 12:39 AM

Knee socks with apples in the toes

dinesh 21,845 14
11/07/2009 01:52 AM

I was excited to see TWSS return in this thread, then sad to see that her posts were from 2007.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/07/2009 11:52 PM

"memorably ugly."

Madness 1,400 5
11/08/2009 01:11 AM

"Are you sure you haven't had kids before?"

Sanita 0 1
11/08/2009 03:37 AM

Look gravity cleavage

A Marinating Sash 1,336 5
11/08/2009 07:41 AM

Any pics in this thread?

Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11
11/08/2009 07:45 AM

Yes.

A Marinating Sash 1,336 5
11/08/2009 07:50 AM

I meant pictures of BOOBS. You should have just posted a picture of yourself.

Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11
11/08/2009 08:42 AM

That's just one.

A.C. with built in Horn of Plenty 5,980 4
11/08/2009 12:12 PM

Suspecting.

Quit staring at me!

Lorenzo Duke 3,049 6
11/08/2009 06:55 PM

Kafka-esque.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/08/2009 08:10 PM

Capable of taking a life.

Ghost of Chickens Past 238,102 14
11/08/2009 10:37 PM

I think he meant non-scary pictures.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/08/2009 10:53 PM

stress balls!

peoriagrace 5,962 9
11/08/2009 10:59 PM

Pillows of squallor

The flatlands

Humphrey 51,326 10
11/09/2009 09:28 AM

Fried Eggs

The guy who rotated your drink 78 2
11/09/2009 02:17 PM

So flat you make walls jealous.

Lorenzo Duke 3,049 6
11/09/2009 02:39 PM

Stomach-churning

Lorenzo Duke 3,049 6
11/09/2009 02:43 PM

A sweeping victory for gravity.

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/09/2009 04:41 PM

Plastic surgery candidate!

Pants 12,163 13
11/09/2009 11:43 PM

Utters

sea urchins

water balloons

fat sacks

chest nuts

calcium canteens

Pudding Pops the Rhymnocerous 938 5
11/10/2009 08:55 AM

If you're a pedophile, you might call them noobs

hairy punkin pie gal 5,564 7
11/10/2009 01:05 PM

Pants
11/09/2009 01:43 PM
"Utters"

"Ahem, take your hands off of my udder.", the milking cow uttered.

Fartpuppy 5,034 6
11/10/2009 01:13 PM

Cows milk themselves now?

Pramable Lectern 53,464 11
11/10/2009 04:54 PM

Ephemeral.

hairy punkin pie gal 5,564 7
11/10/2009 05:34 PM

Pram dear,

There is a special cream on the market to keep you from being ephemeral. Would you like me to send you some for x-mas? Or is it too late, again?

The momb 192 2
12/02/2009 01:29 AM

"It's OK honey, more than a mouthful is a waste!"

Alarm Clock the chubby Snow-bot 5,980 4 sucks on lactating nipple.
12/02/2009 01:35 AM

"Mmmmm... Just like Mom used to make."