Concave

"Mis-shapen udders"

...Worked for me last night.

Mosquito bites!

"raisin titties"

--Eddie Murphy

(is never good)

"Kneepads" should also get you the couch... all to yourself.

Infected mosquito bites.

"They look nice, but I could use a little more cowbell."

Sandbags

Socks full of marbles.

Does anyone else get the mental image of Miss Choksondik from this premise?


I would have posted this a lot sooner, but when you do an image search for
Chokes On Dick...you don't get a Shakespeareload of South Park drawings like I was expecting.


BTW...that last link = NSFW

Totally Tubular!

"Mis-shapen udders"

I'm thinking calling them 'udders' would be bad enough on its own.

Calling them fried eggs would also be pretty soul destroying.

"Wait... you're a girl?!"

Pendulous, like the scrotum of a negroid gentleman.

Bologna.

Approaching belthood.

Bologna.


Bitch.

Bag of sand.

Dude, TWSS already went there (any thereby destroyed some GABber's fantasies).

Hey! I ain't got no sandbag titties!







NO I WILL NOT PROVE IT.

A scrotum with nipples.

Good to know TWSS. I'll make a note of it.

I'll tell the others to make room for you out in the stalker tree.

I would think, if you want to get laid and can't think of anything nice, don't say anything.

I also think most men are clever enough to have figured this out.

Hot water bottles.

anything including the word "floppy"

She's got them old flapjack titties.

"Carl from Accounting and Mrs. Pearson, the mayor's wife."

Cow-like

Non-existant on this plane

Your chest reminds me of treasure:






Sunken that is.

I need some foreplay; can I play with the dogs boobs first?

You know I thought sea level was the lowest point.

deflated balloons

"pull your tits out of your underware already!"

"Hammer-flaps"

pillow cases half filled with ricotta cheese and hung from a nail.

how about an egg running down a wall?

Dude, who the Frost are you sleeping with?

"Droopalicious".

Meat flaps?

You could always say that they remind you of your mom's tits.

stuck in her belt.

Flip flops.

Is it me or are they pointing in different directions?

saggy sacks of lumpy dog Shakespeare?

My BF calls mine 'dugs'. I find it so......agricultural. It really upsets me.

You have the breasts of a ten year old. its hot.

The phrase 'a festering affront to humanity' is usually enough to get you a night on the couch.

You could always say,

"They remind me of something I saw in a National Geographic Magazine once..."

You could always call them snack bites.

"They could be bigger"
"No, then they'd just hang down lower."

Suckle Sticks (for the preggers)

"Frost-ing gross."

Just like mine except maybe a little better.

That is assuming I am a guy. Otherwise, nothing is better than mine.

"The milk's gone bad!"

"Looks like a couple of rabid squirrels fighting over cottage cheese."

Whatever you do, don't include the words "cokerspanial's ears" anywhere in the comparison.

"cokerspanial's ears"

You're right, it's not a good idea to use this when talking to your wife, since she won't have any idea what you're talking about.

They look like grandma's.

I don't have huge breasts [although with a good bra and a bit positioning I can manage a little cleavage] so I'm usually flattered when someone notices them at all [regaurdless of what they call them].

If you send picutres, I'll notice them for you.

A friend of mine gave his wife a t-shirt with "Front" and "Back" written on it.

And an older woman I know described her nipples as "inverted".

Ick.

I have a song that I heard somewhere... and i seem to find myself singing lots... Not sure what the tune is but it's to an old Play School song.

Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your boobs hang low.

Chest Poe.

Sloppy joes.

Lumpy, like a comfortable couch.

<action>if her breasts aren't both the same size</action>A sack of dimes, and a bag of nickels.

unfunbags?

TTJ is going to beat you.

dangerous

I have a song that I heard somewhere... and i seem to find myself singing lots... Not sure what the tune is but it's to an old Play School song.

Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your boobs hang low.

That's close... but it's balls , not boobs.
Do your balls hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a regentmental soilder
Do your balls hang low

regentmental isn't a word. the lyric is continental. sheesh.

Worm !!! How are you ?
I thought you must have been out in the sun to long and shrivelled up and died.
Well, that or alcohol poisoning...

"Love nuggets" or "cum catchers".

"Gravy boats" is also acceptable.

Lumpy, like a comfortable couch.


This is all sorts of awesome, but learn the art of critical complimenting. It should be more as follows:

"Darling, your breasts are like a comfortable couch, ("aww, really?") you know, familiar, cosy, well-worn, lumpy and a little tattered around around the edges."

Jubbly-rub-a-roos

Limp biscuits.

Dog chews.

Rape signals.

"Juice Boxes"

"comparable to the titties on that hooker I bought for a crack rock last night..'

Lady yarbles.

Well broken-in.

Chest butt.

<action>Drool's</action>
Boobies

Pizza dough.

Half full water balloons...


...or half empty if you're a pessimist.

Confused stomach fat.

Torso taffy.

"sumo rack"

"veiny,like a road map"

"curdled puddin' cups"

"Coleridgeeyed"

Or anything with the words "high dollar transsexual".

You should get those two moles checked out on your back. Oh, sorry I didn't realize.

I've called someone near and dear to me "cyclops" since we were teenagers. She has one tit an A cup and the other a D.

Cheap fakes.

"harder than a hockey puck"

Big Larry and his little friend.

Chest butt

Goddamn it, my stupid drunk ass already said that Shakespeare.

A guy says to a woman: "You have the smallest tits and the tightest Poe I've ever seen."

"Get off my back!"

I call my wife's tits Wilma and Betty.

I don't tell her it's because they've been around since the stone age.

goobies

I had no idea I had started this thread until I scrolled back up to the top. I should have bookmarked it - I can't remember Spicey ever calling my tits glorious.

Nice an' mushy.

I've seen the Underboobs, and they are quite glorious. She has the boobs of a 19 year old (well, she did when she showed them, anyway). I will refrain from commenting on other parts of her I've seen.


And for what it's worth, I think my comment above is one of the funniest things I've ever said. I don't remember writing it, and reading it just now cracked me up.

I will refrain from commenting on other parts of her I've seen.

Yeah, thanks for that.

Women tend to go from 0 to uber bitch in under 2.5 seconds after hearing "milk bags."

Women tend to go from 0 to uber bitch in under 2.5 seconds after hearing "milk bags."

1.3 if they think you're serious about it.

Purple mushroom'd.

You have nipples like the Apollo launch buttons.

boo-boo's.

Absent.

"Yay!!!, Flapjack(s) for breakfast!

I've brought the syrup!"

Froster

Almost as good as they used to be!

That girl has some nice tits..... yours are better, of course, but, damn.

Stretchy, but with no memory.

Leaking.

Stretchy, but with no memory.

At least there's jokes on the wrapper shirt.

Not such a good idea.

Stupid.

*used in a sentence*:

"Your breasts are stupid."

That girl has some nice tits..... yours are better, of course, but, damn.

It's like if driving a DeLorean for the last ten years, then seeing a brand new Camaro. The DeLorean is still way, kick ass better, but check out how Frost-ing awesome that new Camaro is!

Passable.

You have nipples like a pair of Pink Pearl erasers. Mind if I rub one out with them?

Leaking.

Also true in my case.

cancerous.

Runny.

Well, if youre describing your wifes tits to your mistress you could pretty much say anything about them and its gonna piss her off.

"Like an ol' hound dog's ears."

salty and gamey.

Knee socks with apples in the toes

I was excited to see TWSS return in this thread, then sad to see that her posts were from 2007.

"memorably ugly."

"Are you sure you haven't had kids before?"

Look gravity cleavage

Any pics in this thread?

Yes.

I meant pictures of BOOBS. You should have just posted a picture of yourself.

That's just one.

Suspecting.

Quit staring at me!

Kafka-esque.

Capable of taking a life.

I think he meant non-scary pictures.

stress balls!

Pillows of squallor

The flatlands

Fried Eggs

So flat you make walls jealous.

Stomach-churning

A sweeping victory for gravity.

Plastic surgery candidate!

Utters

sea urchins

water balloons

fat sacks

chest nuts

calcium canteens

If you're a pedophile, you might call them noobs

Pants
11/09/2009 01:43 PM
"Utters"

"Ahem, take your hands off of my udder.", the milking cow uttered.

Cows milk themselves now?

Ephemeral.

Pram dear,

There is a special cream on the market to keep you from being ephemeral. Would you like me to send you some for x-mas? Or is it too late, again?