So long, Captain. Beam me to Florida.
A comedy conversation
by Cmacker  5,303  10
09/27/2007 05:54 PM 248 views
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My husband was born in Brazil. But don't get the wrong idea. He's lived here almost half his life; yes, he speaks English, yes, he's legal, and he's pretty much "Americanized" in almost every sense of the word. I'll admit, every once in a while, (but very rarely,) we'll have some sort of cultural difference or misunderstanding. And there are still some American things out there that he's never been familiarized with.
That aside, we were having an argument the other day. You know the type: it's starts out as a little spat over some petty little thing... It quickly and heatedly becomes a full-on war over everything under the sun. It went a little something like this:
"I don't want chicken tonight."
"WELL I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO LOSE ALL OUR MONEY IN THAT POKER GAME."
"WELL YOU STILL LOVE YOUR EX!!!"
Wha...?
I slowly turned my head in the direction his finger was pointing, when my eyes fell upon this fella, proudly displaying my daughter's spelling test on the fridge.
"So why do you still keep his picture on the fridge then?"
It's a refridgerator magnet that was given to me years and years ago as a gag gift. I can't stop thinking about how he must've thought that for like the past five years. I also can't stop wondering who he must've thought Picard was, because he's on the other side of the fridge. I'm also thinking that I married a moron.
I suppose either way I'm still exploring strange new worlds...
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
16 votes
4.5
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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Spicey McHaggis 117,784  37
09/27/2007 05:59 PM
You used to be married to Riker?
He dumped you for a green-skinned chick, didn't he? He was always trying to be like Kirk.
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.4
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Dave - Now Hiring 52,827 16
09/27/2007 05:59 PM
Consider strangling your offspring in their sleep. Stupid is hereditary.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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cattnip 795 6
09/27/2007 06:01 PM
Hi-larious.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Cmacker 5,303 10
09/27/2007 06:04 PM
Given my circumstances, Riker's her dad.
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.5
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Wesley Crusher 67,049 13
09/27/2007 06:11 PM
I made a gay orgy program for the holodeck.
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
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Chickens VonGoatherd 286,567 61
09/27/2007 06:26 PM
We don't doubt that for a second, Blaise.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Taco: Oracle at the right hand of HP 61,976 36
09/27/2007 06:37 PM
He dumped you for a green-skinned chick, didn't he?
Actually my cousin Genie. But who cares.
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
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Captain Skippy 41,253 13
09/27/2007 06:39 PM
Not since you verified it yourself, no we don't.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Straw 98,010 37
09/27/2007 06:51 PM
<action>cracks her knuckles.</action>I like you Skippy, but I don't think I can allow you to continue blaspheming someone who is related to Genie Francis and Jonathan Frakes.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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Cmacker 5,303 10
09/27/2007 06:55 PM
Heh. I assumed he meant we didn't doubt the gay orgy program for the holodeck since Chickens verified it himself.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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BlaiseMilla 67,049 13
09/27/2007 07:22 PM
That's the way I read it.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Captain Skippy 41,253 13
09/27/2007 07:56 PM
<action>touches his nose and gives a nod to cmacker and blaise</action>
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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Straw 98,010 37
09/27/2007 08:03 PM
Okay, okay, I was wrong. Man, I don't know what led me to believe you'd take a shot at Taco.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Millie 116,988 28
09/28/2007 12:21 AM
He lives in Maine and Genie runs an overpriced store.
We've already discussed this, haven't we?
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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Humphrey 51,764 12
09/28/2007 12:27 AM
Gee, I can't imagine how the argument could have escalated so quickly.
He simply said, "I don't want chicken tonight."
And you fire back
"WELL I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO LOSE ALL OUR MONEY IN THAT POKER GAME."
Dude, he should be divorcing you. I mean, a man needs and outlet.
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Funny
6 votes
3.2
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Cmacker 5,303 10
09/28/2007 01:03 AM
What's the matter? Did your wife take your guitar away already?
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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Humphrey 51,764 12
09/28/2007 01:46 AM
Of course not! The chain only gives her a 4 foot radius from the kitchen.
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
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Cmacker 5,303 10
09/28/2007 03:43 AM
Of course not! The chain only gives her a 4 foot radius from the kitchen.
Yeah.....
No one's buying that.
And you shouldn't be selling it.
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0 votes
0.0
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OH SHIT! 8,390 9
09/28/2007 03:51 AM
We all have our "smart as a plank of wood" moments.
For nearly 30 years my dad had a full beard. A few years ago he came to vist, but he looked different. I asked if he had new glasses or a hair cut - No and No.
It took me over 30 mins of staring at him to realise he'd shaved the beard off.
I kan bee reelly brite sum tims.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
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Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
09/28/2007 09:39 AM
It's a refridgerator magnet that was given to me years and years ago as a gag gift.
I thought you were cool until you said that.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Cmacker 5,303 10
09/28/2007 01:18 PM
For what it's worth then, instead of having one of those stupid little Christmas villages, every year my Christmas tree looks like a little mini Star Trek convention.
It's kind of a pain in the ass because all the ornaments talk and blink and light up and they all have to be plugged into the sockets on the Christmas tree light strings.
The Shuttlecraft Galileo has Spock's voice saying, "Shuttlecraft to Enterprise. Shuttlecraft to Enterprise. Spock here. Happy Holidays. Live long, and prosper." I'll admit I like to press that button.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Phuc 237,919 21
09/28/2007 01:21 PM
I'm surprised Jesus hasn't climbed down your chimney on Xmas and gone Sparta on your family yet.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.5
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Straw 98,010 37
09/28/2007 01:28 PM
I'm surprised Jesus hasn't climbed down your chimney jeffries tube on Xmas and gone Sparta Trelane on your family yet.
Fixed!
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